第71章
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  DialecticallymindedreadersofthisfarragowillatleastrecognizetheregionofthoughtofwhichMr。Clarkwrites,asfamiliar。Inhislatestpamphlet,“Tennyson’sTrancesandtheAnaestheticRevelation。”Mr。Blooddescribesitsvalueforlifeasfollows:——

  “TheAnaestheticRevelationistheInitiationofManintotheImmemorialMysteryoftheOpenSecretofBeing,revealedastheInevitableVortexofContinuity。Inevitableistheword。Itsmotiveisinherent——itiswhathastobe。Itisnotforanyloveorhate,norforjoynorsorrow,norgoodnorill。End,beginning,orpurpose,itknowsnotof。

  “Itaffordsnoparticularofthemultiplicityandvarietyofthingsbutitfillsappreciationofthehistoricalandthesacredwithasecularandintimatelypersonalilluminationofthenatureandmotiveofexistence,whichthenseemsreminiscent——asifitshouldhaveappeared,orshallyetappear,toeveryparticipantthereof。

  “Althoughitisatfirststartlinginitssolemnity,itbecomesdirectlysuchamatterofcourse——soold-fashioned,andsoakintoproverbsthatitinspiresexultationratherthanfear,andasenseofsafety,asidentifiedwiththeaboriginalandtheuniversal。Butnowordsmayexpresstheimposingcertaintyofthepatientthatheisrealizingtheprimordial,AdamicsurpriseofLife。

  “Repetitionoftheexperiencefindsiteverthesame,andasifitcouldnotpossiblybeotherwise。Thesubjectresumeshisnormalconsciousnessonlytopartiallyandfitfullyrememberitsoccurrence,andtotrytoformulateitsbafflingimport——withonlythisconsolatoryafterthought:thathehasknowntheoldesttruth,andthathehasdonewithhumantheoriesastotheorigin,meaning,ordestinyoftherace。Heisbeyondinstructionin’spiritualthings。’

  “Thelessonisoneofcentralsafety:theKingdomiswithin。

  Alldaysarejudgmentdays:buttherecanbenoclimactericpurposeofeternity,noranyschemeofthewhole。Theastronomerabridgestherowofbewilderingfiguresbyincreasinghisunitofmeasurement:somaywereducethedistractingmultiplicityofthingstotheunityforwhicheachofusstands。

  “ThishasbeenmymoralsustenancesinceIhaveknownofit。InmyfirstprintedmentionofitIdeclared:’Theworldisnomorethealienterrorthatwastaughtme。Spurningthecloud-grimedandstillsultrybattlementswhencesolatelyJehovanthundersboomed,mygraygullliftsherwingagainstthenightfall,andtakesthedimleagueswithafearlesseye。’Andnow,aftertwenty-sevenyearsofthisexperience,thewingisgrayer,buttheeyeisfearlessstill,whileIrenewanddoublyemphasizethatdeclaration。Iknow——ashavingknown——themeaningofExistence:thesanecentreoftheuniverse——atoncethewonderandtheassuranceofthesoul——forwhichthespeechofreasonhasasyetnonamebuttheAnaestheticRevelation。”——Ihaveconsiderablyabridgedthequotation。

  Thishasthegenuinereligiousmysticring!IjustnowquotedJ。

  A。Symonds。Healsorecordsamysticalexperiencewithchloroform,asfollows:——

  ’Afterthechokingandstiflinghadpassedaway,Iseemedatfirstinastateofutterblankness;thencameflashesofintenselight,alternatingwithblackness,andwithakeenvisionofwhatwasgoingonintheroomaroundme,butnosensationoftouch。I

  thoughtthatIwasneardeath;when,suddenly,mysoulbecameawareofGod,whowasmanifestlydealingwithme,handlingme,sotospeak,inanintensepersonalpresentreality。Ifelthimstreaminginlikelightuponme……IcannotdescribetheecstasyIfelt。Then,asIgraduallyawokefromtheinfluenceoftheanaesthetics,theoldsenseofmyrelationtotheworldbegantoreturn,thenewsenseofmyrelationtoGodbegantofade。I

  suddenlyleapttomyfeetonthechairwhereIwassitting,andshriekedout,’Itistoohorrible,itistoohorrible,itistoohorrible,’meaningthatIcouldnotbearthisdisillusionment。

  ThenIflungmyselfontheground,andatlastawokecoveredwithblood,callingtothetwosurgeonswhowerefrightened,’Whydidyounotkillme?Whywouldyounotletmedie?’Onlythinkofit。TohavefeltforthatlongdatelessecstasyofvisiontheveryGod,inallpurityandtendernessandtruthandabsolutelove,andthentofindthatIhadafterallhadnorevelation,butthatIhadbeentrickedbytheabnormalexcitementofmybrain。

  “Yet,thisquestionremains,Isitpossiblethattheinnersenseofrealitywhichsucceeded,whenmyfleshwasdeadtoimpressionsfromwithout,totheordinarysenseofphysicalrelations,wasnotadelusionbutanactualexperience?IsitpossiblethatI,inthatmoment,feltwhatsomeofthesaintshavesaidtheyalwaysfelt,theundemonstrablebutirrefragablecertaintyofGod?”

  Op。cit。,pp。78-80,abridged。Isubjoin,alsoabridgingit,anotherinterestinganaestheticrevelationcommunicatedtomeinmanuscriptbyafriendinEngland。Thesubject,agiftedwoman,wastakingetherforasurgicaloperation。

  “IwonderedifIwasinaprisonbeingtortured,andwhyI

  rememberedhavinghearditsaidthatpeople’learnthroughsuffering,’andinviewofwhatIwasseeing,theinadequacyofthissayingstruckmesomuchthatIsaid,aloud,’tosufferIS

  tolearn。’

  “WiththatIbecameunconsciousagain,andmylastdreamimmediatelyprecededmyrealcomingto。Itonlylastedafewseconds,andwasmostvividandrealtome,thoughitmaynotbeclearinwords。

  “AgreatBeingorPowerwastravelingthroughthesky,hisfootwasonakindoflightningasawheelisonarail,itwashispathway。Thelightningwasmadeentirelyofthespiritsofinnumerablepeopleclosetooneanother,andIwasoneofthem。

  Hemovedinastraightline,andeachpartofthestreakorflashcameintoitsshortconsciousexistenceonlythathemighttravel。IseemedtobedirectlyunderthefootofGod,andI

  thoughthewasgrindinghisownlifeupoutofmypain。ThenI

  sawthatwhathehadbeentryingwithallhismighttodowastoCHANGEHISCOURSE,toBENDthelineoflightningtowhichhewastied,inthedirectioninwhichhewantedtogo。Ifeltmyflexibilityandhelplessness,andknewthathewouldsucceed。Hebendedme,turninghiscornerbymeansofmyhurt,hurtingmemorethanIhadeverbeenhurtinmylife,andattheacutestpointofthis,ashepassed,ISAW。IunderstoodforamomentthingsthatIhavenowforgotten,thingsthatnoonecouldrememberwhileretainingsanity。Theanglewasanobtuseangle,andIrememberthinkingasIwokethathadhemadeitarightoracuteangle,Ishouldhavebothsufferedand’seen’stillmore,andshouldprobablyhavedied。

  “HewentonandIcameto。Inthatmomentthewholeofmylifepassedbeforeme,includingeachlittlemeaninglesspieceofdistress,andIUNDERSTOODthem。THISwaswhatithadallmeant,THISwasthepieceofworkithadallbeencontributingtodo。I

  didnotseeGod’spurpose,Ionlysawhisintentnessandhisentirerelentlessnesstowardshismeans。Hethoughtnomoreofmethanamanthinksofhurtingacorkwhenheisopeningwine,orhurtingacartridgewhenheisfiring。Andyet,onwaking,myfirstfeelingwas,anditcamewithtears,’Dominenonsumdigna,’forIhadbeenliftedintoapositionforwhichIwastoosmall。IrealizedthatinthathalfhourunderetherIhadservedGodmoredistinctlyandpurelythanIhadeverdoneinmylifebefore,orthanIamcapableofdesiringtodo。Iwasthemeansofhisachievingandrevealingsomething,Iknownotwhatortowhom,andthat,totheexactextentofmycapacityforsuffering。

  “Whileregainingconsciousness,Iwonderedwhy,sinceIhadgonesodeep,IhadseennothingofwhatthesaintscalltheLOVEofGod,nothingbuthisrelentlessness。AndthenIheardananswer,whichIcouldonlyjustcatch,saying,’KnowledgeandLoveareOne,andtheMEASUREissuffering’——Igivethewordsastheycametome。WiththatIcamefinallytointowhatseemedadreamworldcomparedwiththerealityofwhatIwasleaving,andIsawthatwhatwouldbecalledthe’cause’ofmyexperiencewasaslightoperationunderinsufficientether,inabedpushedupagainstawindow,acommoncitywindowinacommoncitystreet。

  IfIhadtoformulateafewofthethingsIthencaughtaglimpseof,theywouldrunsomewhatasfollows:——

  “Theeternalnecessityofsufferinganditseternalvicariousness。Theveiledandincommunicablenatureoftheworstsufferings;——thepassivityofgenius,howitisessentiallyinstrumentalanddefenseless,moved,notmoving,itmustdowhatitdoes;——theimpossibilityofdiscoverywithoutitsprice;——finally,theexcessofwhatthesuffering’seer’orgeniuspaysoverwhathisgenerationgains。Heseemslikeonewhosweatshislifeouttoearnenoughtosaveadistrictfromfamine,andjustashestaggersback,dyingandsatisfied,bringingalacofrupeestobuygrainwith,Godliftsthelacaway,droppingONErupee,andsays,’Thatyoumaygivethem。

  Thatyouhaveearnedforthem。TherestisforME。’Iperceivedalsoinawaynevertobeforgotten,theexcessofwhatweseeoverwhatwecandemonstrate。

  “Andsoon!——thesethingsmayseemtoyoudelusions,ortruisms;

  butformetheyaredarktruths,andthepowertoputthemintoevensuchwordsasthesehasbeengivenmebyanetherdream。”

  Withthiswemakeconnectionwithreligiousmysticismpureandsimple。Symonds’squestiontakesusbacktothoseexampleswhichyouwillremembermyquotinginthelectureontheRealityoftheUnseen,ofsuddenrealizationoftheimmediatepresenceofGod。

  Thephenomenoninoneshapeoranotherisnotuncommon。

  “Iknow。”writesMr。Trine,“anofficeronourpoliceforcewhohastoldmethatmanytimeswhenoffduty,andonhiswayhomeintheevening,therecomestohimsuchavividandvitalrealizationofhisonenesswiththisInfinitePower,andthisSpiritofInfinitePeacesotakesholdofandsofillshim,thatitseemsasifhisfeetcouldhardlykeeptothepavement,sobuoyantandsoexhilarateddoeshebecomebyreasonofthisinflowingtide。”[236]

  InTunewiththeInfinite,p。

  Certainaspectsofnatureseemtohaveapeculiarpowerofawakeningsuchmysticalmoods。[237]MostofthestrikingcaseswhichIhavecollectedhaveoccurredoutofdoors。Literaturehascommemoratedthisfactinmanypassagesofgreatbeauty——thisextract,forexample,fromAmiel’sJournalIntime:——

  ThelargerGodmaythenswallowupthesmallerone。ItakethisfromStarbuck’smanuscriptcollection:——

  “IneverlosttheconsciousnessofthepresenceofGoduntilI

  stoodatthefootoftheHorseshoeFalls,Niagara。ThenIlosthimintheimmensityofwhatIsaw。Ialsolostmyself,feelingthatIwasanatomtoosmallforthenoticeofAlmightyGod。”

  IsubjoinanothersimilarcasefromStarbuck’scollection:——

  “InthattimetheconsciousnessofGod’snearnesscametomesometimes。IsayGod,todescribewhatisindescribable。A

  presence,Imightsay,yetthatistoosuggestiveofpersonality,andthemomentsofwhichIspeakdidnotholdtheconsciousnessofapersonality,butsomethinginmyselfmademefeelmyselfapartofsomethingbiggerthanI,thatwascontrolling。Ifeltmyselfonewiththegrass,thetrees,birds,insects,everythinginNature。Iexultedinthemerefactofexistence,ofbeingapartofitall——thedrizzlingrain,theshadowsoftheclouds,thetree-trunks,andsoon。Intheyearsfollowing,suchmomentscontinuedtocome,butIwantedthemconstantly。Iknewsowellthesatisfactionoflosingselfinaperceptionofsupremepowerandlove,thatIwasunhappybecausethatperceptionwasnotconstant。”Thecasesquotedinmythirdlecture,pp。65,66,69,arestillbetteronesofthistype。Inheressay,TheLossofPersonality,inTheAtlanticMonthlyvol。lxxxv。p。195,MissEthelD。Pufferexplainsthatthevanishingofthesenseofself,andthefeelingofimmediateunitywiththeobject,isduetothedisappearance,intheserapturousexperiences,ofthemotoradjustmentswhichhabituallyintermediatebetweentheconstantbackgroundofconsciousnesswhichistheSelfandtheobjectintheforeground,whateveritmaybe。Imustreferthereadertothehighlyinstructivearticle,whichseemstometothrowlightuponthepsychologicalconditions,thoughitfailstoaccountfortheraptureortherevelation-valueoftheexperienceintheSubject’seyes。

  “ShallIeveragainhaveanyofthoseprodigiousreverieswhichsometimescametomeinformerdays?Oneday,inyouth,atsunrise,sittingintheruinsofthecastleofFaucigny;andagaininthemountains,underthenoondaysun,aboveLavey,lyingatthefootofatreeandvisitedbythreebutterflies;oncemoreatnightupontheshinglyshoreoftheNorthernOcean,mybackuponthesandandmyvisionrangingthroughtheMilkyWay;——suchgrandandspacious,immortal,cosmogonicreveries,whenonereachestothestars,whenoneownstheinfinite!Momentsdivine,ecstatichours;inwhichourthoughtfliesfromworldtoworld,piercesthegreatenigma,breatheswitharespirationbroad,tranquil,anddeepastherespirationoftheocean,sereneandlimitlessasthebluefirmament;……instantsofirresistibleintuitioninwhichonefeelsone’sselfgreatastheuniverse,andcalmasagod。Whathours,whatmemories!

  Thevestigestheyleavebehindareenoughtofilluswithbeliefandenthusiasm,asiftheywerevisitsoftheHolyGhost。”[238]

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