“Tellmetherest。”hesaid，takinghisson’shand，andpattingittenderly。“Let’sgoontalkingaboutherallthewaytothehotel。Helpmethroughthetime，Jemmy——helpmethroughthetime。”
BashwoodtheyoungerwasinhighspiritsattheprospectofseeingthecolorofMr。Armadale’smoney。Hetrifledwithhisfather’sanxietytotheverylast。
“Let’sseeifyourememberwhatI’vetoldyoualready。”hebegan。
“There’sacharacterinthestorythat’sdroppedoutofitwithoutbeingaccountedfor。Come！canyoutellmewhoitis？”
Hehadreckonedonfindinghisfatherunabletoanswerthequestion。ButMr。Bashwood’smemory，foranythingthatrelatedtoMissGwilt，wasasclearandreadyashisson’s。“Theforeignscoundrelwhotemptedher，andletherscreenhimattheriskofherownlife。”hesaid，withoutaninstant’shesitation。“Don’tspeakofhim，Jemmy——don’tspeakofhimagain！“
“I_must_speakofhim。”retortedtheother。“YouwanttoknowwhatbecameofMissGwiltwhenshegotoutofprison，don’tyou？
Verygood——I’minapositiontotellyou。ShebecameMrs。Manuel。
It’snousestaringatme，oldgentleman。Iknowitofficially。
Atthelatterpartoflastyear，aforeignladycametoourplace，withevidencetoprovethatshehadbeenlawfullymarriedtoCaptainManuel，ataformerperiodofhiscareer，whenhehadvisitedEnglandforthefirsttime。Shehadonlylatelydiscoveredthathehadbeeninthiscountryagain;andshehadreasontobelievethathehadmarriedanotherwomaninScotland。
Ourpeoplewereemployedtomakethenecessaryinquiries。
ComparisonofdatesshowedthattheScotchmarriage——ifitwasamarriageatall，andnotasham——hadtakenplacejustaboutthetimewhenMissGwiltwasafreewomanagain。AndalittlefurtherinvestigationshowedusthatthesecondMrs。Manuelwasnootherthantheheroineofthefamouscriminaltrial——whomwedidn’tknowthen，butwhomwedoknownow，tobeidenticalwithyourfascinatingfriend，MissGwilt。”
Mr。Bashwood’sheadsankonhisbreast。Heclaspedhistremblinghandsfastineachother，andwaitedinsilencetoheartherest。
“Cheerup！“pursuedhisson。“Shewasnomorethecaptain’swifethanyouare;andwhatismore，thecaptainhimselfisoutofyourwaynow。OnefoggydayinDecemberlasthegaveustheslip;
andwasofftothecontinent，nobodyknewwhere。HehadspentthewholeofthesecondMrs。Manuel’sfivethousandpounds，inthetimethathadelapsedbetweentwoandthreeyearssinceshehadcomeoutofprison;andthewonderwas，wherehehadgotthemoneytopayhistravelingexpenses。ItturnedoutthathehadgotitfromthesecondMrs。Manuelherself。Shehadfilledhisemptypockets;andthereshewas，waitingconfidentlyinamiserableLondonlodging，tohearfromhimandjoinhimassoonashewassafelysettledinforeignparts！Wherehad_she_gotthemoney，youmayasknaturallyenough？Nobodycouldtellatthetime。Myownnotionis，now，thatherformermistressmusthavebeenstillliving，andthatshemusthaveturnedherknowledgeoftheBlanchards’familysecrettoprofitableaccountatlast。Thisismereguess-work，ofcourse;butthere’sacircumstancethatmakesitlikelyguess-worktomymind。Shehadanelderlyfemalefriendtoapplytoatthetime，whowasjustthewomantohelpherinferretingouthermistress’saddress。Canyouguessthenameoftheelderlyfemalefriend？Notyou！Mrs。Oldershaw，ofcourse！“
Mr。Bashwoodsuddenlylookedup。“Whyshouldshegoback。”heasked，“tothewomanwhohaddesertedherwhenshewasachild？”
“Ican’tsay。”rejoinedhisson，“unlessshewentbackintheinterestsofherownmagnificentheadofhair。Theprison-scissors，Ineedn’ttellyou，hadmadeshortworkofitwithMissGwilt’slove-locks，ineverysenseoftheword;andMrs。Oldershaw，Ibegtoadd，isthemosteminentwomaninEngland，asrestorer-generalofthedilapidatedheadsandfacesofthefemalesex。Puttwoandtwotogether;andperhapsyou’llagreewithme，inthiscase，thattheymakefour。”
“Yes，yes;twoandtwomakefour。”repeatedhisfather，impatiently。“ButIwanttoknowsomethingelse。Didshehearfromhimagain？Didhesendforherafterhehadgoneawaytoforeignparts？”
“Thecaptain？Why，whatonearthcanyoubethinkingof？Hadn’thespenteveryfarthingofhermoney？andwasn’thelooseontheContinentoutofherreach？Shewaitedtohearfromhim。Idaresay，forshepersistedinbelievinginhim。ButI’lllayyouanywageryoulike，sheneversawthesightofhishandwritingagain。
Wedidourbestattheofficetoopenhereyes;wetoldherplainlythathehadafirstwifeliving，andthatshehadn’ttheshadowofaclaimonhim。Shewouldn’tbelieveus，thoughwemetherwiththeevidence。Obstinate，devilishobstinate。Idaresayshewaitedformonthstogetherbeforeshegaveupthelasthopeofeverseeinghimagain。”
Mr。Bashwoodlookedasidequicklyoutofthecabwindow。“Wherecouldsheturnforrefugenext？”hesaid，nottohisson，buttohimself。“What，inHeaven’sname，couldshedo？”
“Judgingbymyexperienceofwomen。”remarkedBashwoodtheyounger，overhearinghim，“Ishouldsaysheprobablytriedtodrownherself。Butthat’sonlyguess-workagain:it’sallguess-workatthispartofherstory。Youcatchmeattheendofmyevidence，dad，whenyoucometoMissGwilt’sproceedingsinthespringandsummerofthepresentyear。Shemight，orshemightnot，havebeendesperateenoughtoattemptsuicide;andshemight，orshemightnot，havebeenatthebottomofthoseinquiriesthatImadeforMrs。Oldershaw。Idaresayyou’llseeherthismorning;andperhaps，ifyouuseyourinfluence，youmayheabletomakeherfinishherownstoryherself。”
Mr。Bashwood，stilllookingoutofthecabwindow，suddenlylaidhishandonhisson’sarm。
“Hush！hush！“heexclaimed，inviolentagitation。“Wehavegotthereatlast。Oh，Jemmy，feelhowmyheartbeats！Hereisthehotel。”
“Botheryourheart。”saidBashwoodtheyounger。“WaitherewhileImaketheinquiries。”
“I’llcomewithyou！“criedhisfather。“Ican’twait！Itellyou，Ican’twait！“
Theywentintothehoteltogether，andaskedfor“Mr。Armadale。”
Theanswer，aftersomelittlehesitationanddelay，wasthatMr。
Armadalehadgoneawaysixdayssince。AsecondwaiteraddedthatMr。Armadale’sfriend——Mr。Midwinter——hadonlyleftthatmorning。
WherehadMr。Armadalegone？Somewhereintothecountry。WherehadMr。Midwintergone？Nobodyknew。
Mr。Bashwoodlookedathissoninspeechlessandhelplessdismay。
“Stuffandnonsense！“saidBashwoodtheyounger，pushinghisfatherbackroughlyintothecab。“He’ssafeenough。WeshallfindhimatMissGwilt’s。”
Theoldmantookhisson’shandandkissedit。“Thankyou，mydear。”hesaid，gratefully。“Thankyouforcomfortingme。”
ThecabwasdrivennexttothesecondlodgingwhichMissGwilthadoccupied，intheneighborhoodofTottenhamCourtRoad。
“Stophere。”saidthespy，gettingout，andshuttinghisfatherintothecab。“Imeantomanagethispartofthebusinessmyself。”
Heknockedatthehousedoor。“IhavegotanoteforMissGwilt。”
hesaid，walkingintothepassage，themomentthedoorwasopened。
“She’sgone。”answeredtheservant。“Shewentawaylastnight。”
Bashwoodtheyoungerwastednomorewordswiththeservant。Heinsistedonseeingthemistress。ThemistressconfirmedtheannouncementofMissGwilt’sdepartureonthepreviousevening。
Wherehadshegoneto？Thewomancouldn’tsay。Howhadsheleft？
Onfoot。Atwhathour？Betweennineandten。Whathadshedonewithherluggage？Shehadnoluggage。Hadagentlemanbeentoseeheronthepreviousday？Notasoul，gentleorsimple，hadcometothehousetoseeMissGwilt。
Thefather’sface，paleandwild，waslookingoutofthecabwindowasthesondescendedthehousesteps。“Isn’tshethere，Jemmy？”heasked，faintly——“isn’tshethere？”
“Holdyourtongue。”criedthespy，withthenativecoarsenessofhisnaturerisingtothesurfaceatlast。“I’mnotattheendofmyinquiriesyet。”
Hecrossedtheroad，andenteredacoffee-shopsituatedexactlyoppositethehousehehadjustleft。
Intheboxnearestthewindowtwomenweresittingtalkingtogetheranxiously。
“Whichofyouwasondutyyesterdayevening，betweennineandteno’clock？”askedBashwoodtheyounger，suddenlyjoiningthem，andputtinghisquestioninaquick，peremptorywhisper。
“Iwas，sir。”saidoneofthemen，unwillingly。
“Didyoulosesightofthehouse？——Yes！Iseeyoudid。”
“Onlyforaminute，sir。Aninfernalblackguardofasoldiercamein——“
“Thatwilldo。”saidBashwoodtheyounger。“Iknowwhatthesoldierdid，andwhosenthimtodoit。Shehasgivenustheslipagain。Youarethegreatestassliving。Consideryourselfdismissed。”Withthosewords，andwithanoathtoemphasizethem，heleftthecoffee-shopandreturnedtothecab。
“She’sgone！“criedhisfather。“Oh，Jemmy，Jemmy，Iseeitinyourface！“Hefellbackintohisowncornerofthecab，withafaint，wailingcry。“They’remarried。”hemoanedtohimself;hishandsfallinghelplesslyonhisknees;hishatfallingunregardedfromhishead。“Stopthem！“heexclaimed，suddenlyrousinghimself，andseizinghissoninafrenzybythecollarofthecoat。
“Gobacktothehotel。”shoutedBashwoodtheyoungertothecabman。“Holdyournoise！“headded，turningfiercelyonhisfather。“Iwanttothink。”
Thevarnishofsmoothnesswasalloffhimbythistime。Histemperwasroused。Hispride——evensuchamanhashispride！——waswoundedtothequick。Twicehadhematchedhiswitsagainstawoman’s;andtwicethewomanhadbaffledhim。
Hegotout，onreachingthehotelforthesecondtime，andprivatelytriedtheservantswiththeofferofmoney。Theresultoftheexperimentsatisfiedhimthattheyhad，inthisinstance，reallyandtrulynoinformationtosell。Afteramoment’sreflection，hestopped，beforeleavingthehotel，toaskthewaytotheparishchurch。“Thechancemaybeworthtrying。”hethoughttohimself，ashegavetheaddresstothedriver。
“Faster！“hecalledout，lookingfirstathiswatch，andthenathisfather。“Theminutesarepreciousthismorning;andtheoldoneisbeginningtogivein。”
Itwastrue。Stillcapableofhearingandofunderstanding，Mr。
Bashwoodwaspastspeakingbythistime。Heclungwithbothhandstohisson’sgrudgingarm，andlethisheadfallhelplesslyonhisson’savertedshoulder。
Theparishchurchstoodbackfromthestreet，protectedbygatesandrailings，andsurroundedbyaspaceofopenground。Shakingoffhisfather’shold，Bashwoodtheyoungermadestraightforthevestry。Theclerk，puttingawaythebooks，andtheclerk’sassistant，hangingupasurplice，weretheonlypersonsintheroomwhenheentereditandaskedleavetolookatthemarriageregisterfortheday。
Theclerkgravelyopenedthebook，andstoodasidefromthedeskonwhichitlay。
Theday’sregistercomprisedthreemarriagessolemnizedthatmorning;andthefirsttwosignaturesonthepagewere“AllanArmadale“and“LydiaGwilt！“
Eventhespy——ignorantashewasofthetruth，unsuspiciousashewasoftheterriblefutureconsequencestowhichtheactofthatmorningmightlead——eventhespystarted，whenhiseyefirstfellonthepage。Itwasdone！Comewhatmightofit，itwasdonenow。
There，inblackandwhite，wastheregisteredevidenceofthemarriage，whichwasatonceatruthinitself，andalieintheconclusiontowhichitled！There——throughthefatalsimilarityinthenames——there，inMidwinter’sownsignature，wastheprooftopersuadeeverybodythat，notMidwinter，butAllan，wasthehusbandofMissGwilt！
Bashwoodtheyoungerclosedthebook，andreturnedittotheclerk。Hedescendedthevestrysteps，withhishandsthrustdoggedlyintohispockets，andwithaseriousshockinflictedonhisprofessionalself-esteem。
Thebeadlemethimunderthechurchwall。Heconsideredforamomentwhetheritwasworthwhiletospendashillinginquestioningtheman，anddecidedintheaffirmative。Iftheycouldbetracedandovertaken，theremightbeachanceofseeingthecolorofMr。Armadale’smoneyevenyet。
“Howlongisit。”heasked，“sincethefirstcouplemarriedherethismorningleftthechurch？”
“Aboutanhour。”saidthebeadle。
“Howdidtheygoaway？”
Thebeadledeferredansweringthatsecondquestionuntilhehadfirstpocketedhisfee。
“Youwon’ttracethemfromhere，sir。”hesaid，whenhehadgothisshilling。“Theywentawayonfoot。”
“Andthatisallyouknowaboutit？”
“That，sir，isallIknowaboutit。”
Leftbyhimself，eventheDetectiveofthePrivateInquiryOfficepausedforamomentbeforehereturnedtohisfatheratthegate。
Hewasrousedfromhishesitationbythesuddenappearance，withinthechurchinclosure，ofthedriverofthecab。
“I’mafraidtheoldgentlemanisgoingtobetakenill，sir。”
saidtheman。
Bashwoodtheyoungerfrownedangrily，andwalkedbacktothecab。
Asheopenedthedoorandlookedin，hisfatherleanedforwardandconfrontedhim，withlipsthatmovedspeechlessly，andwithawhitestillnessoveralltherestofhisface。
“She’sdoneus。”saidthespy。“Theyweremarriedherethismorning。”
Theoldman’sbodyswayedforamomentfromonesidetotheother。Theinstantafter，hiseyesclosedandhisheadfellforwardtowardthefrontseatofthecab。“Drivetothehospital！“criedhisson。“He’sinafit。Thisiswhatcomesofputtingmyselfoutofmywaytopleasemyfather。”hemuttered，sullenlyraisingMr。Bashwood’shead，andlooseninghiscravat。
“Anicemorning’swork。Uponmysoul，anicemorning’swork！“
Thehospitalwasnear，andthehousesurgeonwasathispost。
“Willhecomeoutofit？”askedBashwoodtheyounger，roughly。
“Whoare_you？_“askedthesurgeon，sharply，onhisside。
“Iamhisson。”
“Ishouldn’thavethoughtit。”rejoinedthesurgeon，takingtherestorativesthatwerehandedtohimbythenurse，andturningfromthesontothefatherwithanairofreliefwhichhewasatnopainstoconceal。“Yes。”headded，afteraminuteortwo;“
yourfatherwillcomeoutofitthistime。”
“Whencanhebemovedawayfromhere？”
“Hecanbemovedfromthehospitalinanhourortwo。”
Thespylaidacardonthetable。“I’llcomebackforhimorsendforhim。”hesaid。“IsupposeIcangonow，ifIleavemynameandaddress？”Withthosewords，heputonhishat，andwalkedout。
“He’sabrute！“saidthenurse。
“No。”saidthesurgeon，quietly。“He’saman。”
*******
Betweennineandteno’clockthatnight，Mr。BashwoodawokeinhisbedattheinnintheBorough。Hehadsleptforsomehourssincehehadbeenbroughtbackfromthehospital;andhismindandbodywerenowslowlyrecoveringtogether。
Alightwasburningonthebedsidetable，andaletterlayonit，waitingforhimtillhewasawake。Itwasinhisson’shandwriting，anditcontainedthesewords:
“MYDEARDAD——Havingseenyousafeoutofthehospital，andbackatyourhotel，IthinkImayfairlyclaimtohavedonemydutybyyou，andmayconsidermyselffreetolookaftermyownaffairs。
Businesswillpreventmefromseeingyouto-night;andIdon’tthinkitatalllikelyIshallbeinyourneighborhoodto-morrowmorning。MyadvicetoyouistogobacktoThorpeAmbrose，andtosticktoyouremploymentinthesteward’soffice。WhereverMr。
Armadalemaybe，hemust，soonerorlater，writetoyouonbusiness。Iwashmyhandsofthewholematter，mind，sofarasI
amconcerned，fromthistimeforth。Butif_you_liketogoonwithit，myprofessionalopinionisthoughyoucouldn’thinderhismarriage，youmayparthimfromhiswife。
“Praytakecareofyourself。
“Youraffectionateson，“JAMESBASHWOOD。”
Theletterdroppedfromtheoldman’sfeeblehands。“IwishJemmycouldhavecometoseemeto-night。”hethought。“Butit’sverykindofhimtoadviseme，allthesame。”
Heturnedwearilyonthepillow，andreadtheletterasecondtime。“Yes。”hesaid，“there’snothingleftformebuttogoback。I’mtoopoorandtoooldtohuntafterthemallbymyself。”
Heclosedhiseyes:thetearstrickledslowlyoverhiswrinkledcheeks。“I’vebeenatroubletoJemmy。”hemurmured，faintly;
“I’vebeenasadtrouble，I’mafraid，topoorJemmy！“Inaminutemorehisweaknessoverpoweredhim，andhefellasleepagain。
Theclockoftheneighboringchurchstruck。Itwasten。Asthebelltolledthehour，thetidaltrain——withMidwinterandhiswifeamongthepassengers——wasspeedingnearerandnearertoParis。Asthebelltolledthehour，thewatchonboardAllan’soutward-boundyachthadsightedthelight-houseofftheLand’sEnd，andhadsetthecourseofthevesselforUshantandFinisterre。
THEENDOFTHETHIRDBOOK。
BOOKTHEFOURTH。
CHAPTERI。
MISSGWILT’SDIARY。
“NAPLES，October10th——Itistwomonthsto-daysinceIdeclaredthatIhadclosedmyDiary，nevertoopenitagain。
“WhyhaveIbrokenmyresolution？WhyhaveIgonebacktothissecretfriendofmywretchedestandwickedesthours？BecauseIammorefriendlessthanever;becauseIammorelonelythanever，thoughmyhusbandissittingwritinginthenextroomtome。Mymiseryisawoman’smisery，andit_will_speak——here，ratherthannowhere;tomysecondself，inthisbook，ifIhavenooneelsetohearme。
“HowhappyIwasinthefirstdaysthatfollowedourmarriage，andhowhappyImade_him！_Onlytwomonthshavepassed，andthattimeisaby-gonetimealready！ItrytothinkofanythingI
mighthavesaidordonewrongly，onmyside——ofanythinghemighthavesaidordonewrongly，onhis;andIcanremembernothingunworthyofmyhusband，nothingunworthyofmyself。Icannotevenlaymyfingeronthedaywhenthecloudfirstrosebetweenus。
“Icouldbearit，ifIlovedhimlessdearlythanIdo。Icouldconquerthemiseryofourestrangement，ifheonlyshowedthechangeinhimasbrutallyasothermenwouldshowit。
“Butthisneverhashappened——neverwillhappen。Itisnotinhisnaturetoinflictsufferingonothers。Notahardword，notahardlook，escapeshim。Itisonlyatnight，whenIhearhimsighinginhissleep，andsometimeswhenIseehimdreaminginthemorninghours，thatIknowhowhopelesslyIamlosingtheloveheoncefeltforme。Hehides，ortriestohide，itintheday，formysake。Heisallgentleness，allkindness;buthisheartisnotonhislipswhenhekissesmenow;hishandtellsmenothingwhenittouchesmine。Dayafterdaythehoursthathegivestohishatefulwritinggrowlongerandlonger;dayafterdayhebecomesmoreandmoresilentinthehoursthathegivestoMe。
“And，withallthis，thereisnothingthatIcancomplainof——nothingmarkedenoughtojustifymeinnoticingit。Hisdisappointmentshrinksfromallopenconfession;hisresignationcollectsitselfbysuchfinedegreesthatevenmywatchfulnessfailstoseethegrowthofit。FiftytimesadayIfeelthelonginginmetothrowmyarmsroundhisneck，andsay:’ForGod’ssake，doanythingtome，ratherthantreatmelikethis！’
andfiftytimesadaythewordsareforcedbackintomyheartbythecruelconsideratenessofhisconduct;whichgivesmenoexcuseforspeakingthem。IthoughtIhadsufferedthesharpestpainthatIcouldfeelwhenmyfirsthusbandlaidhiswhipacrossmyface。IthoughtIknewtheworstthatdespaircoulddoonthedaywhenIknewthattheothervillain，themeanervillainstill，hadcastmeoff。Liveandlearn。ThereissharperpainthanI
feltunderWaldron’swhip;thereisbittererdespairthanthedespairIknewwhenManueldesertedme。
“AmItoooldforhim？Surelynotyet！HaveIlostmybeauty？NotamanpassesmeinthestreetbuthiseyestellmeIamashandsomeasever。
“Ah，no！no！thesecretliesdeeperthan_that！_Ihavethoughtandthoughtaboutittillahorriblefancyhastakenpossessionofme。Hehasbeennobleandgoodinhispastlife，andIhavebeenwickedanddisgraced。Whocantellwhatagapthatdreadfuldifferencemaymakebetweenus，unknowntohimandunknowntome？
Itisfolly，itismadness;but，whenIlieawakebyhiminthedarkness，Iaskmyselfwhetheranyunconsciousdisclosureofthetruthescapesmeinthecloseintimacythatnowunitesus？IsthereanunutterableSomethingleftbythehorrorofmypastlife，whichclingsinvisiblytomestill？Andishefeelingtheinfluenceofit，sensibly，andyetincomprehensiblytohimself？
Ohme！istherenopurifyingpowerinsuchloveasmine？Arethereplague-spotsofpastwickednessonmyheartwhichnoafter-repentancecanwashout？
“Whocantell？Thereissomethingwronginourmarriedlife——I
canonlycomebacktothat。ThereissomeadverseinfluencethatneitherhenorIcantracewhichispartingusfurtherandfurtherfromeachotherdaybyday。Well！IsupposeIshallbehardenedintime，andlearntobearit。
“Anopencarriagehasjustdrivenbymywindow，withanicelydressedladyinit。Shehadherhusbandbyherside，andherchildrenontheseatopposite。AtthemomentwhenIsawhershewaslaughingandtalkinginhighspirits——asparkling，light-hearted，happywoman。Ah，mylady，whenyouwereafewyearsyounger，ifyouhadbeenlefttoyourself，andthrownontheworldlikeme——
“October11th——Theeleventhdayofthemonthwasthedaytwomonthssincewhenweweremarried。Hesaidnothingaboutittomewhenwewoke，norItohim。ButIthoughtIwouldmakeittheoccasion，atbreakfast-time，oftryingtowinhimback。
“Idon’tthinkIevertooksuchpainswithmytoiletbefore。I
don’tthinkIeverlookedbetterthanIlookedwhenIwentdownstairsthismorning。Hehadbreakfastedbyhimself，andI
foundalittleslipofpaperonthetablewithanapologywrittenonit。TheposttoEngland，hesaid，wentoutthatday，andhislettertothenewspapermustbefinished。InhisplaceIwouldhaveletfiftypostsgooutratherthanbreakfastwithouthim。I
wentintohisroom。Therehewas，immersedbodyandsoulinhishatefulwriting！’Can’tyougivemealittletimethismorning？’
Iasked。Hegotupwithastart。’Certainly，ifyouwishit。’Heneverevenlookedatmeashesaidthewords。Theverysoundofhisvoicetoldmethatallhisinterestwascenteredinthepenthathehadjustlaiddown。’Iseeyouareoccupied，’Isaid;’I
don’twishit。’BeforeIhadclosedthedooronhimhewasbackathisdesk。Ihaveoftenheardthatthewivesofauthorshavebeenforthemostpartunhappywomen。AndnowIknowwhy。
“Isuppose，asIsaidyesterday，Ishalllearntobearit。What_stuff，_by-the-by，Iseemtohavewrittenyesterday！HowashamedIshouldbeifanybodysawitbutmyself！Ihopethetrumperynewspaperhewritesforwon’tsucceed！Ihopehisrubbishingletterwillbewellcutupbysomeothernewspaperassoonasitgetsintoprint！
“WhatamItodowithmyselfallthemorning？Ican’tgoout，it’sraining。IfIopenthepiano，Ishalldisturbtheindustriousjournalistwhoisscribblinginthenextroom。Oh，dear，itwaslonelyenoughinmylodginginThorpeAmbrose，buthowmuchlonelieritishere！ShallIread？No;booksdon’tinterestme;Ihatethewholetribeofauthors。IthinkIshalllookbackthroughthesepages，andlivemylifeoveragainwhenI
wasplottingandplanning，andfindinganewexcitementtooccupymeineverynewhouroftheday。
“Hemighthavelookedatme，thoughhe_was_sobusywithhiswriting——Hemighthavesaid，’Hownicelyyouaredressedthismorning！’Hemighthaveremembered——nevermindwhat！Allheremembersisthenewspaper。
“Twelveo’clock——Ihavebeenreadingandthinking;and，thankstomyDiary，Ihavegotthroughanhour。
“Whatatimeitwas——whatalifeitwas，atThorpeAmbrose！I
wonderIkeptmysenses。Itmakesmyheartbeat，itmakesmyfaceflush，onlytoreadaboutitnow！
“Therainstillfalls，andthejournaliststillscribbles。I
don’twanttothinkthethoughtsofthatpasttimeoveragain。
Andyet，whatelsecanIdo？
“Supposing——Ionlysaysupposing——Ifeltnow，asIfeltwhenI
traveledtoLondonwithArmadale;andwhenIsawmywaytohislifeasplainlyasIsawthemanhimselfallthroughthejourney……？
“I’llgoandlookoutofthewindow。I’llgoandcountthepeopleastheypassby。
“Afuneralhasgoneby，withthepenitentsintheirblackhoods，andthewaxtorchessputteringinthewet，andthelittlebellringing，andthepriestsdroningtheirmonotonouschant。A
pleasantsighttomeetmeatthewindow！IshallgobacktomyDiary。
“SupposingIwasnotthealteredwomanIam——Ionlysay，supposing——howwouldtheGrandRiskthatIoncethoughtofrunninglooknow？IhavemarriedMidwinterinthenamethatisreallyhisown。AndbydoingthatIhavetakenthefirstofthosethreestepswhichwereoncetoleadme，throughArmadale’slife，tothefortuneandthestationofArmadale’swidow。Nomatterhowinnocentmyintentionsmighthavebeenonthewedding-day——andthey_were_innocent——thisisoneoftheunalterableresultsofthemarriage。Well，havingtakenthefirststep，then，whetherI
wouldorno，how——supposingImeanttotakethesecondstep，whichIdon’t——howwouldpresentcircumstancesstandtowardme？
Wouldtheywarnmetodrawback，Iwonder？orwouldtheyencouragemetogoon？
“Itwillinterestmetocalculatethechances;andIcaneasilyteartheleafout，anddestroyit，iftheprospectlookstooencouraging。
“Wearelivinghereforeconomy’ssakefarawayfromtheexpensiveEnglishquarter，inasuburbofthecity，onthePorticiside。Wehavemadenotravelingacquaintancesamongourowncountrypeople。Ourpovertyisagainstus;Midwinter’sshynessisagainstus;andwiththewomenmypersonalappearanceisagainstus。Themenfromwhommyhusbandgetshisinformationforthenewspapermeethimatthecafe，andnevercomehere。Idiscouragehisbringinganystrangerstoseeme;
for，thoughyearshavepassedsinceIwaslastatNaples，I
cannotbesurethatsomeofthemanypeopleIonceknewinthisplacemaynotbelivingstill。Themoralofallthisisasthechildren’sstorybookssay，thatnotasinglewitnesshascometothishousewhocoulddeclare，ifanyafter-inquirytookplaceinEngland，thatMidwinterandIhadbeenlivinghereasmanandwife。SomuchforpresentcircumstancesastheyaffectMe。
“Armadalenext。HasanyunforeseenaccidentledhimtocommunicatewithThorpeAmbrose？Hashebrokentheconditionswhichthemajorimposedonhim，andassertedhimselfinthecharacterofMissMilroy’spromisedhusbandsinceIsawhimlast？
“Nothingofthesorthastakenplace。Nounforeseenaccidenthasalteredhisposition——histemptingposition——towardmyself。I
knowallthathashappenedtohimsinceheleftEngland，throughtheletterswhichhewritestoMidwinter，andwhichMidwintershowstome。
“Hehasbeenwrecked，tobeginwith。Histrumperylittleyachthasactuallytriedtodrownhim，afterall，andhasfailed！IthappenedasMidwinterwarnedhimitmighthappenwithsosmallavesselinasuddenstorm。TheywereblownashoreonthecoastofPortugal。Theyachtwenttopieces，butthelives，andpapers，andsoon，weresaved。ThemenhavebeensentbacktoBristol，withrecommendationsfromtheirmasterwhichhavealreadygotthememploymentonboardanoutward-boundship。Andthemasterhimselfisonhiswayhere，afterstoppingfirstatLisbon，andnextatGibraltar，andtryingineffectuallyinbothplacestosupplyhimselfwithanothervessel。HisthirdattemptistobemadeatNaples，wherethereisanEnglishyacht’laidup，’astheycallit，tobehadforsaleorhire。Hehashadnooccasiontowritehomesincethewreck;forhetookawayfromCoutts’sthewholeofthelargesumofmoneylodgedthereforhim，incircularnotes。AndhehasfeltnoinclinationtogobacktoEnglandhimself;for，withMr。Brockdead，MissMilroyatschool，andMidwinterhere，hehasnotalivingcreatureinwhomheisinterestedtowelcomehimifhereturned。Toseeus，andtoseethenewyacht，aretheonlytwopresentobjectshehasinview。
Midwinterhasbeenexpectinghimforaweekpast，andhemaywalkintothisveryroominwhichIamwriting，atthisverymoment，forallIknowtothecontrary。
“Temptingcircumstances，these——withallthewrongsIhavesufferedathismother’shandsandathis，stillaliveinmymemory;withMissMilroyconfidentlywaitingtotakeherplaceattheheadofhishousehold;withmydreamoflivinghappyandinnocentinMidwinter’slovedispelledforever，andwithnothingleftinitsplacetohelpmeagainstmyself。Iwishitwasn’training;IwishIcouldgoout。
“PerhapssomethingmayhappentopreventArmadalefromcomingtoNaples？Whenhelastwrote，hewaswaitingatGibraltarforanEnglishsteamerintheMediterraneantradetobringhimonhere。
Hemaygettiredofwaitingbeforethesteamercomes，orhemayhearofayachtatsomeotherplacethanthis。AlittlebirdwhispersinmyearthatitmaypossiblybethewisestthingheeverdidinhislifeifhebreakshisengagementtojoinusatNaples。
“ShallItearouttheleafonwhichalltheseshockingthingshavebeenwritten？No。MyDiaryissonicelybound——itwouldbepositivebarbaritytotearoutaleaf。Letmeoccupymyselfharmlesslywithsomethingelse。Whatshallitbe？Mydressing-case——Iwillputmydressing-casetidy，andpolishupthefewlittlethingsinitwhichmymisfortuneshavestillleftinmypossession。
“Ihaveshutupthedressing-caseagain。ThefirstthingIfoundinitwasArmadale’sshabbypresenttomeonmymarriage——therubbishinglittlerubyring。Thatirritatedme，tobeginwith。
ThesecondthingthatturnedupwasmybottleofDrops。Icaughtmyselfmeasuringthedoseswithmyeye，andcalculatinghowmanyofthemwouldbeenoughtotakealivingcreatureovertheborder-landbetweensleepanddeath。WhyIshouldhavelockedthedressing-caseinafright，beforeIhadquitecompletedmycalculation，Idon’tknow;butIdidlockit。AndhereIambackagainatmyDiary，withnothing，absolutelynothing，towriteabout。Oh，thewearyday！thewearyday！Willnothinghappentoexcitemealittleinthishorribleplace？
“October12th——Midwinter’sall-importantlettertothenewspaperwasdispatchedbythepostlastnight。IwasfoolishenoughtosupposethatImightbehonoredbyhavingsomeofhisspareattentionbestowedonmeto-day。Nothingofthesort！Hehadarestlessnight，afterallhiswriting，andgotupwithhisheadaching，andhisspiritsmiserablydepressed。Whenheisinthisstate，hisfavoriteremedyistoreturntohisoldvagabondhabits，andgoroamingawaybyhimselfnobodyknowswhere。HewentthroughtheformthismorningknowingIhadnoridinghabitofofferingtohirealittlebroken-kneedbruteofaponyforme，incaseIwishedtoaccompanyhim！Ipreferredremainingathome。Iwillhaveahandsomehorseandahandsomehabit，orI
won’trideatall。Hewentaway，withoutattemptingtopersuademetochangemymind。Iwouldn’thavechangedit，ofcourse;buthemighthavetriedtopersuademeallthesame。
“Icanopenthepianoinhisabsence——thatisonecomfort。AndI
aminafinehumorforplaying——thatisanother。ThereisasonataofBeethoven’sIforgetthenumber，whichalwayssuggeststometheagonyoflostspiritsinaplaceoftorment。
Come，myfingersandthumbs，andtakemeamongthelostspiritsthismorning！
“October13th——Ourwindowslookoutonthesea。Atnoonto-daywesawasteamercomingin，withtheEnglishflagflying。
Midwinterhasgonetotheport，onthechancethatthismaybethevesselfromGibraltar，withArmadaleonboard。
“Twoo’clock——ItisthevesselfromGibraltar。Armadalehasaddedonemoretothelonglistofhisblunders:hehaskepthisengagementtojoinusatNaples。
“Howwillitend_now？_
“Whoknows？
“October16th——TwodaysmissedoutofmyDiary！Icanhardlytellwhy，unlessitisthatArmadaleirritatesmebeyondallendurance。ThemeresightofhimtakesmebacktoThorpeAmbrose。
IfancyImusthavebeenafraidofwhatImightwriteabouthim，inthecourseofthelasttwodays，ifIindulgedmyselfinthedangerousluxuryofopeningthesepages。
“ThismorningIamafraidofnothing，andItakeupmypenagainaccordingly。
“Isthereanylimit，Iwonder，tothebrutishstupidityofsomemen？IthoughtIhaddiscoveredArmadale’slimitwhenIwashisneighborinNorfolk;butmylaterexperienceatNaplesshowsmethatIwaswrong。HeisperpetuallyinandoutofthishousecrossingovertousinaboatfromthehotelatSantaLucia，wherehesleeps;andhehasexactlytwosubjectsofconversation——theyachtforsaleintheharborhere，andMissMilroy。Yes！heselectsMEasthe_confidante_ofhisdevotedattachmenttothemajor’sdaughter！’It’ssonicetotalktoawomanaboutit！’Thatisalltheapologyhehasthoughtitnecessarytomakeforappealingtomysympathies——_my_
sympathies！——onthesubjectof’hisdarlingNeelie，’fiftytimesaday。Heisevidentlypersuadedifhethinksaboutitatall
thatIhaveforgotten，ascompletelyashehasforgotten，allthatoncepassedbetweenuswhenIwasfirstatThorpeAmbrose。
Suchanutterwantofthecommonestdelicacyandthecommonesttact，inacreaturewhois，toallappearance，possessedofaskin，andnotahide，andwhodoes，unlessmyearsdeceiveme，talk，andnotbray，isreallyquiteincrediblewhenonecomestothinkofit。Butitis，forallthat，quitetrue。Heaskedme——heactuallyaskedme，lastnight——howmanyhundredsayearthewifeofarichmancouldspendonherdress。’Don’tputittoolow，’
theidiotadded，withhisintolerablegrin。’Neelieshallbeoneofthebest-dressedwomeninEnglandwhenIhavemarriedher。’
Andthistome，afterhavinghadhimatmyfeet，andthenlosinghimagainthroughMissMilroy！Thistome，withanalpacagownon，andahusbandwhoseincomemustbehelpedbyanewspaper！
“Ihadbetternotdwellonitanylonger。Ihadbetterthinkandwriteofsomethingelse。
“Theyacht。AsarelieffromhearingaboutMissMilroy，Ideclaretheyachtintheharborisquiteaninterestingsubjecttome！
Shethemencallavessel’She’;andIsuppose，ifthewomentookaninterestinsuchthings，_they_wouldcallavessel’He’——sheisabeautifulmodel;andher’top-sides’whatevertheymaybeareespeciallydistinguishedbybeingbuiltofmahogany。But，withthesemerits，shehasthedefect，ontheotherhand，ofbeingold——whichisasaddrawback——andthecrewandthesailing-masterhavebeen’paidoff，’andsenthometoEngland——whichisadditionallydistressing。Still，ifanewcrewandanewsailing-mastercanbepickeduphere，suchabeautifulcreaturewithallherdrawbacks，isnottobedespised。Itmightanswertohireherforacruise，andtoseehowshebehaves。Ifsheisof_my_mind，herbehaviorwillratherastonishhernewmaster！Thecruisewilldeterminewhatfaultsshehas，andwhatrepairs，throughtheunluckycircumstanceofherage，shereallystandsinneedof。Andthenitwillbetimetosettlewhethertobuyheroutrightornot。SuchisArmadale’sconversationwhenheisnottalkingof’hisdarlingNeelie。’AndMidwinter，whocanstealnotimefromhisnewspaperworkforhiswife，canstealhoursforhisfriend，andcanofferthemunreservedlytomyirresistiblerival，thenewyacht。
“Ishallwritenomoreto-day。Ifsolady-likeapersonasIamcouldfeelatigerishtinglingalloverhertotheverytipsofherfingers，Ishouldsuspectmyselfofbeinginthatconditionatthepresentmoment。But，with_my_mannersandaccomplishments，thethingis，ofcourse，outofthequestion。Weallknowthataladyhasnopassions。
“October17th——AletterforMidwinterthismorningfromtheslave-owners——ImeanthenewspaperpeopleinLondon——whichhassethimatworkagainharderthanever。Avisitatluncheon-timeandanothervisitatdinner-timefromArmadale。Conversationatluncheonabouttheyacht。ConversationatdinneraboutMissMilroy。Ihavebeenhonored，inregardtothatyounglady，byaninvitationtogowithArmadaleto-morrowtotheToledo，andhelphimtobuysomepresentsforthebelovedobject。Ididn’tflyoutathim——Ionlymadeanexcuse。CanwordsexpresstheastonishmentIfeelatmyownpatience？Nowordscanexpressit。
“October18th——Armadalecametobreakfastthismorning，bywayofcatchingMidwinterbeforeheshutshimselfupoverhiswork。
“Conversationthesameasyesterday’sconversationatlunch。
Armadalehasmadehisbargainwiththeagentforhiringtheyacht。Theagentcompassionatinghistotalignoranceofthelanguagehashelpedhimtofindaninterpreter，butcan’thelphimtofindacrew。Theinterpreteriscivilandwilling，butdoesn’tunderstandthesea。Midwinter’sassistanceisindispensable;andMidwinterisrequestedandconsents！toworkharderthanever，soastomaketimeforhelpinghisfriend。Whenthecrewisfound，themeritsanddefectsofthevesselaretobetriedbyacruisetoSicily，withMidwinteronboardtogivehisopinion。Lastlyincasesheshouldfeellonely，theladies’
cabinismostobliginglyplacedatthedisposalofMidwinter’swife。Allthiswassettledatthebreakfast-table;anditendedwithoneofArmadale’sneatly-turnedcompliments，addressedtomyself:’ImeantotakeNeeliesailingwithme，whenwearemarried。Andyouhavesuchgoodtaste，youwillbeabletotellmeeverythingtheladies’cabinwantsbetweenthattimeandthis。’
“Ifsomewomenbringsuchmenasthisintotheworld，oughtotherwomentoallowthemtolive？Itisamatterofopinion。_I_thinknot。
“Whatmaddensmeistosee，asIdoseeplainly，thatMidwinterfindsinArmadale’scompany，andinArmadale’snewyacht，arefugefromme。HeisalwaysinbetterspiritswhenArmadaleishere。HeforgetsmeinArmadalealmostascompletelyasheforgetsmeinhiswork。AndIbearit！Whatapatternwife，whatanexcellentChristianIam！
“October19th——Nothingnew。Yesterdayoveragain。
“October20th——Onepieceofnews。Midwinterissufferingfromnervousheadache;andisworkinginspiteofit，tomaketimeforhisholidaywithhisfriend。
“October21st——Midwinterisworse。Angryandwildandunapproachable，aftertwobadnights，andtwouninterrupteddaysathisdesk。Underanyothercircumstanceshewouldtakethewarningandleaveoff。Butnothingwarnshimnow。Heisstillworkingashardasever，forArmadale’ssake。Howmuchlongerwillmypatiencelast？
“October22d——Signs，lastnight，thatMidwinteristaxinghisbrainsbeyondwhathisbrainswillbear。Whenhedidfallasleep，hewasfrightfullyrestless;groaningandtalkingandgrindinghisteeth。FromsomeofthewordsIheard，heseemedatonetimetobedreamingofhislifewhenhewasaboy，roamingthecountrywiththedancingdogs。AtanothertimehewasbackagainwithArmadale，imprisonedallnightonthewreckedship。Towardtheearlymorninghourshegrewquieter。Ifellasleep;and，wakingafterashortinterval，foundmyselfalone。MyfirstglanceroundshowedmealightburninginMidwinter’sdressing-room。Irosesoftly，andwenttolookathim。
“Hewasseatedinthegreat，ugly，old-fashionedchair，whichI
orderedtoberemovedintothedressing-roomoutofthewaywhenwefirstcamehere。Hisheadlayback，andoneofhishandshunglistlesslyoverthearmofthechair。Theotherhandwasonhislap。Istolealittlenearer，andsawthatexhaustionhadoverpoweredhimwhilehewaseitherreadingorwriting，fortherewerebooks，pens，ink，andpaperonthetablebeforehim。Whathadhegotuptodosecretly，atthathourofthemorning？I
lookedcloseratthepapersonthetable。Theywereallneatlyfoldedasheusuallykeepsthem，withoneexception;andthatexception，lyingopenontherest，wasMr。Brock’sletter。
“Ilookedroundathimagain，aftermakingthisdiscovery，andthennoticedforthefirsttimeanotherwrittenpaper，lyingunderthehandthatrestedonhislap。Therewasnomovingitawaywithouttheriskofwakinghim。Partoftheopenmanuscript，however，wasnotcoveredbyhishand。Ilookedatittoseewhathehadsecretlystolenawaytoread，besidesMr。Brock’sletter;
andmadeoutenoughtotellmethatitwastheNarrativeofArmadale’sDream。
“Thatseconddiscoverysentmebackatoncetomybed——withsomethingserioustothinkof。
“TravelingthroughFrance，onourwaytothisplace，Midwinter’sshynesswasconqueredforonce，byaverypleasantman——anIrishdoctor——whomwemetintherailwaycarriage，andwhoquiteinsistedonbeingfriendlyandsociablewithusallthroughtheday’sjourney。FindingthatMidwinterwasdevotinghimselftoliterarypursuits，ourtravelingcompanionwarnedhimnottopasstoomanyhourstogetherathisdesk。’Yourfacetellsmemorethanyouthink，’thedoctorsaid:’Ifyouareevertemptedtooverworkyourbrain，youwillfeelitsoonerthanmostmen。Whenyoufindyournervesplayingyoustrangetricks，don’tneglectthewarning——dropyourpen。’
“Aftermylastnight’sdiscoveryinthedressing-room，itlooksasifMidwinter’snerveswerebeginningalreadytojustifythedoctor’sopinionofthem。Ifoneofthetrickstheyareplayinghimisthetrickoftormentinghimagainwithhisoldsuperstitiousterrors，therewillbeachangeinourlivesherebeforelong。IshallwaitcuriouslytoseewhethertheconvictionthatwetwoaredestinedtobringfataldangertoArmadaletakespossessionofMidwinter’smindoncemore。Ifitdoes，Iknowwhatwillhappen。Hewillnotstirasteptowardhelpinghisfriendtofindacrewfortheyacht;andhewillcertainlyrefusetosailwithArmadale，ortoletmesailwithhim，onthetrialcruise。
“October23d——Mr。Brock’sletterhas，apparently，notlostitsinfluenceyet。Midwinterisworkingagainto-day，andisasanxiousaseverfortheholiday-timethatheistopasswithhisfriend。
“Twoo’clock——Armadalehereasusual;eagertoknowwhenMidwinterwillbeathisservice。Nodefiniteanswertobegiventothequestionyet，seeingthatitalldependsonMidwinter’scapacitytocontinueathisdesk。Armadalesatdowndisappointed;
heyawned，andputhisgreatclumsyhandsinhispockets。Itookupabook。Thebrutedidn’tunderstandthatIwantedtobeleftalone;hebeganagainontheunendurablesubjectofMissMilroy，andofallthefinethingsshewastohavewhenhemarriedher。
Herownriding-horse;herownpony-carriage;herownbeautifullittlesitting-roomupstairsatthegreathouse，andsoon。AllthatImighthavehadonceMissMilroyistohavenow——_ifIlether。_
“Sixo’clock——MoreoftheeverlastingArmadale！Halfanhoursince，Midwintercameinfromhiswriting，giddyandexhausted。I
hadbeenpiningalldayforalittlemusic，andIknewtheyweregiving’Norma’atthetheaterhere。ItstruckmethatanhourortwoattheoperamightdoMidwintergood，aswellasme;andI
said:’WhynottakeaboxattheSanCarloto-night？’Heanswered，inadull，uninterestedmanner，thathewasnotrichenoughtotakeabox。Armadalewaspresent，andflourishedhiswell-filledpurseinhisusualinsufferableway。’_I’m_richenough，oldboy，anditcomestothesamething。’Withthosewordshetookuphishat，andtrampledoutonhisgreatelephant’sfeettogetthebox。Ilookedafterhimfromthewindowashewentdownthestreet。’Yourwidow，withhertwelvehundredayear，’Ithoughttomyself，’mighttakeaboxattheSanCarlowhenevershepleased，withoutbeingbeholdentoanybody。’Theempty-headedwretchwhistledashewenthiswaytothetheater，andtossedhisloosesilvermagnificentlytoeverybeggarwhoranafterhim。
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“Midnight——Iamaloneagainatlast。HaveInerveenoughtowritethehistoryofthisterribleevening，justasithaspassed？Ihavenerveenough，atanyrate，toturntoanewleaf，andtry。
CHAPTERII。
THEDIARYCONTINUED。
“WEwenttotheSanCarlo。Armadale’sstupidityshoweditself，eveninsuchasimplematterastakingabox。Hehadconfoundedanoperawithaplay，andhadchosenaboxclosetothestage，withtheideathatone’schiefobjectatamusicalperformanceistoseethefacesofthesingersasplainlyaspossible！
Fortunatelyforourears，Bellini’slovelymelodiesare，forthemostpart，tenderlyanddelicatelyaccompanied——ortheorchestramighthavedeafenedus。
“Isatbackintheboxatfirst，welloutofsight;foritwasimpossibletobesurethatsomeofmyoldfriendsofformerdaysatNaplesmightnotbeinthetheater。Butthesweetmusicgraduallytemptedmeoutofmyseclusion。IwassocharmedandinterestedthatIleanedforwardwithoutknowingit，andlookedatthestage。
“Iwasmadeawareofmyownimprudencebyadiscoverywhich，forthemoment，literallychilledmyblood。Oneofthesingers，amongthechorusofDruids，waslookingatmewhilehesangwiththerest。Hisheadwasdisguisedinthelongwhitehair，andthelowerpartofhisfacewascompletelycoveredwiththeflowingwhitebeardpropertothecharacter。ButtheeyeswithwhichhelookedatmeweretheeyesoftheonemanonearthwhomIhavemostreasontodreadeverseeingagain——Manuel！
“Ifithadnotbeenformysmelling-bottle，IbelieveIshouldhavelostmysenses。Asitwas，Idrewbackagainintotheshadow。EvenArmadalenoticedthesuddenchangeinme:he，aswellasMidwinter，askedifIwasill。IsaidIfelttheheat，buthopedIshouldbebetterpresently;andthenleanedbackinthebox，andtriedtorallymycourage。Isucceededinrecoveringself-possessionenoughtobeabletolookagainatthestagewithoutshowingmyselfthenexttimethechorusappeared。Therewasthemanagain！Buttomyinfinitereliefheneverlookedtowardourboxasecondtime。Thiswelcomeindifference，onhispart，helpedtosatisfymethatIhadseenanextraordinaryaccidentalresemblance，andnothingmore。Istillholdtothisconclusion，afterhavinghadleisuretothink;butmymindwouldbemorecompletelyateasethanitisifIhadseentherestoftheman’sfacewithoutthestagedisguisesthathiditfromallinvestigation。
“Whenthecurtainfellonthefirstact，therewasatiresomeballettobeperformedaccordingtotheabsurdItaliancustom，beforetheoperawenton。ThoughIhadgotovermyfirstfright，Ihadbeenfartooseriouslystartledtofeelcomfortableinthetheater。Idreadedallsortsofimpossibleaccidents;andwhenMidwinterandArmadaleputthequestiontome，ItoldthemIwasnotwellenoughtostaythroughtherestoftheperformance。
“AtthedoorofthetheaterArmadaleproposedtosaygood-night。
ButMidwinter——evidentlydreadingtheeveningwith_me_——askedhimtocomebacktosupper，ifIhadnoobjection。Isaidthenecessarywords，andweallthreereturnedtogethertothishouse。
“Tenminutes’quietinmyownroomassistedbyalittledoseofeau-de-cologneandwaterrestoredmetomyself。Ijoinedthemenatthesupper-table。Theyreceivedmyapologiesfortakingthemawayfromtheopera，withthecomplimentaryassurancethatIhadnotcosteitherofthemtheslightestsacrificeofhisownpleasure。Midwinterdeclaredthathewastoocompletelywornouttocareforanythingbutthetwogreatblessings，unattainableatthetheater，ofquietandfreshair。Armadalesaid——withanEnglishman’sexasperatingprideinhisownstupiditywhereveramatterofartisconcerned——thathecouldn’tmakeheadortailoftheperformance。Theprincipaldisappointment，hewasgoodenoughtoadd，wasmine，forIevidentlyunderstoodforeignmusic，andenjoyedit。Ladiesgenerallydid。HisdarlinglittleNeelie——
“Iwasinnohumortobepersecutedwithhis’DarlingNeelie’
afterwhatIhadgonethroughatthetheater。Itmighthavebeentheirritatedstateofmynerves，oritmighthavebeentheeau-de-cologneflyingtomyhead，butthebarementionofthegirlseemedtosetmeinaflame。ItriedtoturnArmadale’sattentioninthedirectionofthesupper-table。Hewasmuchobliged，buthehadnoappetiteformore。Iofferedhimwinenext，thewineofthecountry，whichisallthatourpovertyallowsustoplaceonthetable。Hewasmuchobligedagain。Theforeignwinewasverylittlemoretohistastethantheforeignmusic;buthewouldtakesomebecauseIaskedhim;andhewoulddrinkmyhealthintheold-fashionedway，withhisbestwishesforthehappytimewhenweshouldallmeetagainatThorpeAmbrose，andwhentherewouldbeamistresstowelcomemeatthegreathouse。
“Washemadtopersistinthisway？No;hisfaceansweredforhim。Hewasundertheimpressionthathewasmakinghimselfparticularlyagreeabletome。
“IlookedatMidwinter。Hemighthaveseensomereasonforinterferingtochangetheconversation，ifhehadlookedatmeinreturn。Buthesatsilentinhischair，irritableandoverworked，withhiseyesontheground，thinking。
“Igotupandwenttothewindow。Stillimpenetrabletoasenseofhisownclumsiness，Armadalefollowedme。IfIhadbeenstrongenoughtotosshimoutofthewindowintothesea，Ishouldcertainlyhavedoneitatthatmoment。Notbeingstrongenough，I
lookedsteadilyattheviewoverthebay，andgavehimahint，thebroadestandrudestIcouldthinkof，togo。
“’Alovelynightforawalk，’Isaid，’ifyouaretemptedtowalkbacktothehotel。’
“Idoubtifheheardme。Atanyrate，Iproducednosortofeffectonhim。Hestoodstaringsentimentallyatthemoonlight;
and——thereisreallynootherwordtoexpressit——_blew_asigh。
Ifeltapresentimentofwhatwascoming，unlessIstoppedhismouthbyspeakingfirst。
“’WithallyourfondnessforEngland，’Isaid，’youmustownthatwehavenosuchmoonlightasthatathome。’
“Helookedatmevacantly，andblewanothersigh。
“’Iwonderwhetheritisfineto-nightinEnglandasitishere？’hesaid。’Iwonderwhethermydearlittlegirlathomeislookingatthemoonlight，andthinkingofMe？’
“Icouldendureitnolonger。Iflewoutathimatlast。
“’Goodheavens，Mr。Armadale！’Iexclaimed，’isthereonlyonesubjectworthmentioning，inthenarrowlittleworldyoulivein？
I’msicktodeathofMissMilroy。Dopraytalkofsomethingelse？’
“Hisgreat，broad，stupidfacecoloreduptotherootsofhishideousyellowhair。’Ibegyourpardon，’hestammered，withakindofsulkysurprise。’Ididn’tsuppose——’Hestoppedconfusedly，andlookedfrommetoMidwinter。Iunderstoodwhatthelookmeant。’Ididn’tsupposeshecouldbejealousofMissMilroyaftermarrying_you！_’ThatiswhathewouldhavesaidtoMidwinter，ifIhadleftthemalonetogetherintheroom！
“Asitwas，Midwinterhadheardus。BeforeIcouldspeakagain——beforeArmadalecouldaddanotherword——hefinishedhisfriend’suncompletedsentence，inatonethatInowheard，andwithalookthatInowsaw，forthefirsttime。
“’Youdidn’tsuppose，Allan，’hesaid，’thatalady’stempercouldbesoeasilyprovoked。’
“Thefirstbitterwordofirony，thefirsthardlookofcontempt，Ihadeverhadfromhim！AndArmadalethecauseofit！
“Myangersuddenlyleftme。Somethingcameinitsplacewhichsteadiedmeinaninstant，andtookmesilentlyoutoftheroom。
“Isatdownaloneinthebedroom。Ihadafewminutesofthoughtwithmyself，whichIdon’tchoosetoputintowords，eveninthesesecretpages。Igotup，andunlocked——nevermindwhat。I
wentroundtoMidwinter’ssideofthebed，andtook——nomatterwhatItook。ThelastthingIdidbeforeIlefttheroomwastolookatmywatch。Itwashalf-pastten，Armadale’susualtimeforleavingus。Iwentbackatonceandjoinedthetwomenagain。
“IapproachedArmadalegood-humoredly，andsaidtohim:
“No！Onsecondthoughts。Iwon’tputdownwhatIsaidtohim，orwhatIdidafterward。I’msickofArmadale！heturnsupateverysecondwordIwrite。Ishallpassoverwhathappenedinthecourseofthenexthour——thehourbetweenhalf-pasttenandhalf-pasteleven——andtakeupmystoryagainatthetimewhenArmadalehadleftus。CanItellwhattookplace，assoonasourvisitor’sbackwasturned，betweenMidwinterandmeinourownroom？Whynotpassoverwhathappened，inthatcaseaswellasintheother？Whyagitatemyselfbywritingitdown？Idon’tknow！
WhydoIkeepadiaryatall？WhydidthecleverthieftheotherdayintheEnglishnewspaperkeeptheverythingtoconvicthimintheshapeofarecordofeverythinghestole？Whyarewenotperfectlyreasonableinallthatwedo？WhyamInotalwaysonmyguardandneverinconsistentwithmyself，likeawickedcharacterinanovel？Why？why？why？
“Idon’tcarewhy！ImustwritedownwhathappenedbetweenMidwinterandmeto-night，_because_Imust。There’sareasonthatnobodycananswer——myselfincluded。
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“Itwashalf-pasteleven。Armadalehadgone。Ihadputonmydressing-gown，andhadjustsatdowntoarrangemyhairforthenight，whenIwassurprisedbyaknockatthedoor，andMidwintercamein。
“Hewasfrightfullypale。Hiseyeslookedatmewithaterribledespairinthem。HeneveransweredwhenIexpressedmysurpriseathiscominginsomuchsoonerthanusual;hewouldn’teventellme，whenIaskedthequestion，ifhewasill。PointingperemptorilytothechairfromwhichIhadrisenonhisenteringtheroom，hetoldmetositdownagain;andthen，afteramoment，addedthesewords:’Ihavesomethingserioustosaytoyou。’
“IthoughtofwhatIhaddone——or，no，ofwhatIhadtriedtodo——inthatintervalbetweenhalf-pasttenandhalf-pasteleven，whichIhaveleftunnoticedinmydiary——andthedeadlysicknessofterror，whichIneverfeltatthetime，cameuponmenow。I
satdownagain，asIhadbeentold，withoutspeakingtoMidwinter，andwithoutlookingathim。
“Hetookaturnupanddowntheroom，andthencameandstoodoverme。
“’IfAllancomeshereto-morrow，’hebegan，’andifyouseehim——’
“Hisvoicefaltered，andhesaidnomore。Therewassomedreadfulgriefathisheartthatwastryingtomasterhim。Buttherearetimeswhenhiswillisawillofiron。Hetookanotherturnintheroom，andcrusheditdown。Hecameback，andstoodovermeagain。
“’WhenAllancomeshereto-morrow，’heresumed，’lethimcomeintomyroom，ifhewantstoseeme。IshalltellhimthatIfinditimpossibletofinishtheworkInowhaveonhandassoonasI
hadhoped，andthathemust，therefore，arrangetofindacrewfortheyachtwithoutanyassistanceonmypart。Ifhecomes，inhisdisappointment，toappealtoyou，givehimnohopeofmybeingfreeintimetohelphimifhewaits。Encouragehimtotakethebestassistancehecangetfromstrangers，andtosetaboutmanningtheyachtwithoutanyfurtherdelay。Themoreoccupationhehastokeephimawayfromthishouse，andthelessyouencouragehimtostayhereifhedoescome，thebetterIshallbepleased。Don’tforgetthat，anddon’tforgetonelastdirectionwhichIhavenowtogiveyou。Whenthevesselisreadyforsea，andwhenAllaninvitesustosailwithhim，itismywishthatyoushouldpositivelydeclinetogo。Hewilltrytomakeyouchangeyourmind;forIshall，ofcourse，decline，onmyside，toleaveyouinthisstrangehouse，andinthisforeigncountry，byyourself。Nomatterwhathesays，letnothingpersuadeyoutoalteryourdecision。Refuse，positivelyandfinally！Refuse，I
insistonit，tosetyourfootonthenewyacht！’
“Heendedquietlyandfirmly，withnofalteringinhisvoice，andnosignsofhesitationorrelentinginhisface。ThesenseofsurprisewhichImightotherwisehavefeltatthestrangewordshehadaddressedtomewaslostinthesenseofreliefthattheybroughttomymind。Thedreadof_thoseotherwords_thatIhadexpectedtohearfromhimleftmeassuddenlyasithadcome。I
couldlookathim，Icouldspeaktohimoncemore。
“’Youmaydepend，’Ianswered，’onmydoingexactlywhatyouordermetodo。MustIobeyyoublindly？OrmayIknowyourreasonfortheextraordinarydirectionsyouhavejustgiventome？’
“His，facedarkened，andhesatdownontheothersideofmydressing-table，withaheavy，hopelesssigh。
“’Youmayknowthereason，’hesaid，’ifyouwishit。’Hewaitedalittle，andconsidered。’Youhavearighttoknowthereason，’
heresumed，’foryouyourselfareconcernedinit。’Hewaitedalittleagain，andagainwenton。’IcanonlyexplainthestrangerequestIhavejustmadetoyouinoneway，’besaid。’Imustaskyoutorecallwhathappenedinthenextroom，beforeAllanleftusto-night。’
“Helookedatmewithastrangemixtureofexpressionsinhisface。AtonemomentIthoughthefeltpityforme。Atanother，itseemedmorelikehorrorofme。Ibegantofeelfrightenedagain;
Iwaitedforhisnextwordsinsilence。
“’IknowthatIhavebeenworkingtoohardlately，’hewenton，’andthatmynervesaresadlyshaken。Itispossible，inthestateIaminnow，thatImayhaveunconsciouslymisinterpreted，ordistorted，thecircumstancesthatreallytookplace。Youwilldomeafavorifyouwilltestmyrecollectionofwhathashappenedbyyourown。Ifmyfancyhasexaggeratedanything，ifmymemoryisplayingmefalseanywhere，Ientreatyoutostopme，andtellmeofit。’
“Icommandedmyselfsufficientlytoaskwhatthecircumstancesweretowhichhereferred，andinwhatwayIwaspersonallyconcernedinthem。
“’Youwerepersonallyconcernedintheminthisway，’heanswered。’ThecircumstancestowhichIreferbeganwithyourspeakingtoAllanaboutMissMilroy，inwhatIthoughtaveryinconsiderateandveryimpatientmanner。IamafraidIspokejustaspetulantlyonmyside，andIbegyourpardonforwhatIsaidtoyouintheirritationofthemoment。Youlefttheroom。Afterashortabsence，youcamebackagain，andmadeaperfectlyproperapologytoAllan，whichhereceivedwithhisusualkindnessandsweetnessoftemper。Whilethiswenton，youandhewerebothstandingbythesupper-table;andAllanresumedsomeconversationwhichhadalreadypassedbetweenyouabouttheNeapolitanwine。
Hesaidhethoughtheshouldlearntolikeitintime，andheaskedleavetotakeanotherglassofthewinewehadonthetable。AmIrightsofar？’
“Thewordsalmostdiedonmylips;butIforcedthemout，andansweredhimthathewasrightsofar。
“’YoutooktheflaskoutofAllan’shand，’heproceeded。’Yousaidtohim，good-humoredly，“Youknowyoudon’treallylikethewine，Mr。Armadale。Letmemakeyousomethingwhichmaybemoretoyourtaste。Ihavearecipeofmyownforlemonade。Willyoufavormebytryingit？”Inthosewords，youmadeyourproposaltohim，andheacceptedit。Didhealsoaskleavetolookon，andlearnhowthelemonadewasmade？anddidyoutellhimthathewouldonlyconfuseyou，andthatyouwouldgivehimtherecipeinwriting，ifhewantedit？’
“Thistimethewordsdidreallydieonmylips。Icouldonlybowmyhead，andanswer’Yes’mutelyinthatway。Midwinterwenton。
“’Allanlaughed，andwenttothewindowtolookoutattheBay，andIwentwithhim。AfterawhileAllanremarked，jocosely，thatthemeresoundoftheliquidsyouwerepouringoutmadehimthirsty。Whenhesaidthis，Iturnedroundfromthewindow。I
approachedyou，andsaidthelemonadetookalongtimetomake。