THEPERFECTBOARDINGHOUSE
Itisqueer，butCaptainCyhimselfdoesn\'trememberwhetherthedaywasTuesdayorWednesday。AsaphTidditt\'srecordsoughttosettleit，fortherewasameetingoftheboardofselectmenthatday，andAsaphhasbeentownclerkinBayportsincethesummerbeforetheBaptistmeetinghouseburned。Butontherecordthedate，inAsaph\'shandwriting，stands“Tuesday，May10，189-“and，asithappens，May10ofthatyearfellonWednesday，notTuesdayatall。
KeturahBangs，whokeeps“theperfectboardinghouse，“saysitwasTuesday，becausesherememberstheyhadfriedcodcheeksandcabbagethatday——astheyhaveeveryTuesday——andneitherMr。
TiddittnorBaileyBangs，Keturah\'shusband，wasonhandwhenthedinnerbellrang。KeturahsayssheiscertainitwasTuesday，becausesherememberssmellingtheboiledcabbageasshestoodatthesidedoor，lookinguptheroadtoseeifeitherAsaphorBaileywascoming。AsforBailey，hesaysheremembersbeinglatetodinnerandhiswife\'s“startin\'toheaveabroadsidesintohim“
becauseofit，buthedoesn\'trememberwhatdayitwas。Thisisn\'tsurprising；Keturah\'sverbalcannonadesarelikelytomakeoneforgetfuloftrifles。
Atanyrate，whetherTuesdayorWednesday，itiscertainthatitwasquarterpasttwelve，accordingtotheclockpresentedtotheMethodistSocietybytheHonorableHemanAtkins，whenAsaphTiddittcamedownthestepsofthetownhall，aftertheselectmen\'smeeting，andsawBaileyBangswaitingforhimontheoppositesideoftheroad。
“Hello，Ase！”hailedMr。Bangs。“You\'llbelatetodinner，ifyoudon\'thurry。Iwasheadin\'forhome，allsailsot，whenIseeyou。
Whatkeptyou？”
“Townbusiness，ofcourse，“repliedMr。Tidditt，withtheimportancepertainingtohisofficialposition。“WhatkeptYOU，forthelandsakes？Won\'tKeturybeinyourwool？”
Baileyhasn\'tany“wool“worthmentioningnow，andhehadverylittlemorethen，buthemoppedhisforehead，ortheextensionaboveit，takingoffhiscaptodoso。
“Ical\'lateshewill，“hesaid，uneasily。“Tellyouthetruth，Ase，Iwasuptothestore，andCap\'nJosiahDimickandsomemoreof\'emdriftedinandwegottalkin\'aboutthechancesoftheharborappropriation，andonethingor\'nother，and\'twaslater\'nIthought\'twas\'foreIknewit。“
Theappropriationfromthegovernment，whichwastodeepenandwidenourharborhereatBayport，wasaveryvitaltopicamongusjustthen。HemanAtkins，thecongressmanfromourdistrict，hadpromisedtodohisbestfortheappropriation，andhadforatimebeenverysanguineofsecuringit。Recently，however，hehadnotbeenquiteashopeful。
“What\'sCap\'nJosiahthinkaboutthechances？”askedAsapheagerly。
“Well，sometimeshethinks\'Yes\'andthenagainhethinks\'No，\'“
repliedBailey。“Hesays，ofcourse，ifHemanisabletogetithewill，butifheain\'tableto，he——he——“
“Hewon\'t，Is\'pose。Well，_I_canthinkthatmyself，andIdon\'tsetuptobenoinspiredknow-it-all，likeJoeDimick。Heain\'theardfromHemanlately，hashe？”
“No，heain\'t。Neither\'sanybodyelse，sofurasIcanfindout。“
“Oh，yes，theyhave。_I_have，forone。“
Mr。Bangsstoppedshortinhisdouble-quickmarchforhomeanddinner，andlookedhiscompanionintheface。
“AseTidditt！”hecried。“Doyoumeantotellmeyou\'vehadaletterfromHemanAtkins，fromWashin\'ton？”
Asaphnoddedportentously。
“Yes，sir，“hedeclared。“AletterfromtheHonorableHemanG。
Atkins，ofWashin\'ton，D。C。，cometomelastnight。IreaditaforeIturnedin。“
“Youdid！Andneversaidnothin\'aboutit？”
“WhyshouldIsayanythingaboutit？\'Twasaddressedtomeastownclerk，andwasconcernin\'amattertobetookupwiththeboardofs\'lectmen。Iain\'tinthehabitofhollerin\'townaffairsthroughaspeakin\'trumpet。Folksthatvoteformetown-meetin\'dayknowthat，Iguess。AngiePhinneysaystomeonlyyesterday，\'Mr。
Tidditt，\'saysshe，\'there\'sonethingI\'llsayforyou——youdon\'ttalk。\'“
MissPhinneyboardedwiththeBangses，andBaileywasacquaintedwithherpersonalpeculiarities；forthatmattersoweremostofBayport\'spermanentresidents。
“Humph！”hesnortedindignantly。“Shethought\'twasagoodthingnottotalk，hey？SHEdid？Well，bymighty！younevergetnoCHANCEtotalkwhenshe\'saround。AngiePhinney！Why，whenthatpollparrotofhersdied，Alph\'usSmalleydeclaredupanddownthatwhatkilleditwasjealousyanddisapp\'intedambition；hesaiditbrokeitshearttryin\'tokeepupwithAngie。Hermawasthesamebreedofcats。Iremember——“
ThetalkingproclivitiesoffemalesistheonetopicuponwhichKeturah\'shusbandistouchiest。Asaphknewthis，buthedelightedtostiruphischumoccasionally。Hechuckledasheinterruptedtheflowofreminiscence。
“There，there，Bailey！”heexclaimed。“IknowasmuchaboutAngie\'stribeasyoudo，Ical\'late。Ain\'twealittlemiteoffthecourse？Seemstomewewastalkin\'aboutHeman\'sletter。“
“Isthatso？Ijudgedfromwhatyousaidwewa\'n\'tgoin\'totalkaboutit。Aw，don\'tbesomean，Ase！Showin\'offyourimportancelikeayoungone！WhatdidHemansayabouttheappropriation？Ishegoin\'togetit？”
Mr。Tiddittpausedbeforereplying。Then，bendingover，hewhisperedinhischum\'sear：
“Heneversaidonewordabouttheappropriation，Bailey；notoneword。Hewantedtoknowifwe\'dgotthisyear\'staxesontheWhittakerplace。And，ifwehadn\'t，whatwaswegoin\'todoaboutit？Bailey，betweenyouandmeandthemizzenmast，HemanAtkinswantstogetaholdofthatplacetheworstway。“
“Hedoes？HeDOES？Forthelandsakes，ain\'thegotpropertyenoughalready？Ain\'ta——apalacelikethatenoughforoneman，withoutwantin\'tobuyarattletraplikeTHAT？”
Thefirst“that“wasemphasizedbyabrandishedbutreverentlefthand；thesecondbyaderisivelypointingright。Thetwofriendshadreachedthecrestofthelongslopeleadingupfromthetownhall。Ononesideoftheroadstretchedtheimposingfrontageofthe“Atkinsestate，“withitsironfenceandstoneposts；ontheotherslouchedtheweed-grown，tumble-downdesolationofthe“CyWhittakerplace。“Thecontrastwasthatofopulentprosperityandpoverty-strickenneglect。
Ifourvillageboastedoneofthosehorselessjuggernauts，suchasareusedtocarrysightseersinBostonfromtheoldNorthChurchtothePublicLibraryandotherpointsofinterest——thatis，iftherewasa“seeingBayport“car，itisfromthishillthatitsoccupantswouldbegiventheirfinestviewofthevillageanditssurroundings。
AsCaptainJosiahDimickalwayssays：“Bayportisallnorthandsouth，likeacodfishline。ItputsmeinmindofSethHiggins\'soldestboy。Hewassotallandthinthatwhentheyboughtasuitofclothesforhim，theyusedtotakereefsinthesidesofthejacketandusetheclothtopieceontothebottomsofthetrousers\'legs。“
WhatCaptainJoemeansisthatthehousesinthevillageareallbuiltbesidethreeroadsrunninglongitudinally。Thereisthe“mainroad“andthe“upperroad“——or“WoodchuckLane，“justasyouprefer——andthe“lowerroad，“otherwiseknownas“Bassett\'sHoller。“
The“upperroad“issometimescalledthe“depotroad，“becausetherailroadstationisconvenientlylocatedthereon——convenientfortherailroad，thatis——thestationbeingafullmilefromSimmons\'s“generalstore，“whichisconsideredthecenterofthetown。Theupperroadentersthemainroadatthecornerbythestore，andtherealsoaretheMethodistmeetinghouseandtheschoolhouse。Thetownhallisinthehollowfartheron。Thencomesthebighill——
“Whittaker\'sHill“——andfromthetopofthishillyoucan，onaclearday，seeformilesacrossthesaltmarshesandoverthebaytotheeastward，andwestasfarasthechurchsteepleinOrham。
Iftherehappenstobeafog，withastrongeasterlywind，youcannotseethemarshesorthebay，butyoucansmellthem，wetandsaltyandsweet。ItisasmellthatthebornBayporterneverforgets，butcarrieswithhiminmemorywhereverhegoes；andthat，inthepalmydaysofthemerchantmarine，waslikely，tobefar，foreverymalebabyinthevillagewasbornwithwebfeet，sopeoplesaid，andwaspredestinedtobeasailor。
WhenHemanAtkinscamebackfromtheSouthSeasearlyinthe\'60\'s，“richasdockmud，“thoughstillayoungman，hepromptlytoredownhisfather\'soldhouse，whichstoodonthecrestofWhittaker\'sHill，andbuiltinitsplaceabigimposingresidence。ItwasbyfarthefinesthouseinBayport，andHemanmadeitfinerastheyearspassed。Therewereimitationbrownstonepillarssupportingitsfrontporch，irondogsandscrollworkironbenchesborderingitsfrontwalk，andapairofstoneurns，insummerfilledwithflowers，besideitsbigironfrontgate。
Hemanwasourleadingcitizen，ourrepresentativeinWashington，andthetown\'sphilanthropist。HegavetheAtkinsmemorialwindowandtheAtkinstowerclocktotheMethodistChurch。TheAtkinstownpump，alsohisgift，stoodbeforethetownhall。TheAtkinsportraitintheBayportLadies\'Librarywasmuchadmired；andthesizeoftheAtkinsfortunewastheprincipalsubjectofconversationatsewingcircle，atthetableof“theperfectboardinghouse，“
aroundthestoveinSimmons\'sstore，orwhereverBayporterswereusedtogather。WeneverexactlyworshippedHemanAtkins，perhaps，butwefigurativelydoffedourhatswhenhisnamewasmentioned。
The“CyWhittakerplace“facedtheAtkinsestatefromtheoppositesideofthemainroad，butitwasthegeneralopinionthatitoughttobeashamedtofaceit。Almosteverybodycalledit“theCyWhittakerplace，“althoughsomeoftheyoungersetspokeofitasthe“SeaSightHouse。“Itwasabig，old-fashioneddwelling，gambrel-roofedandbrownanddilapidated。Originallyithadenjoyedthedignifiedseclusionaffordedbyawhitepicketfencewithsquaregateposts，andthepathtoitsseldom-usedfrontdoorhadbeenguardedbyrigidlinesofboxhedge。This，however，wasyearsago，beforethesecondCaptainCyWhittakerdied，andbeforetheHowesfamilyturneditintothe“SeaSightHouse，“ahotelforsummerboarders。
TheHoweses“improved“thehouseandgrounds。Theytoredownthepicketfence，uprootedtheboxhedges，hungasignoverthesacredfrontdoor，andbuiltawideverandaundertheparlorwindows。
Theytookboardersforfiveconsecutivesummers；thentheygaveuptheunprofitableundertaking，returnedtoConcord，NewHampshire，theirnativecity，andlefttheCyWhittakerplacetobeartheravagesofBayportwintersandBayportsmallboysasbestitmight。
Foryearsitstoodempty。Theweedsgrewhighaboutitsfoundations；
thesparrowsbuiltnestsbehindsuchofitsshuttersashadnotbeenrippedfromtheirhingesbyFebruaryno\'theasters；itsroofgrewbaldinspotsastheshinglesloosenedandwereblownaway；theswallowsflewinandoutofitsstone-brokenwindowpanes。YearbyyearitbecamemoreofadisgraceintheeyesofBayport\'sneatandthriftyinhabitants——forneatandthriftyweare，ifwedosayit。
Theselectmenwouldhavelikedtotearitdown，buttheycouldnot，becauseitwasprivateproperty，havingbeenpurchasedfromtheHowesheirsbythethirdCyWhittaker，CaptainCy\'sonlyson，whoranawaytoseawhenhewassixteenyearsold，andwasdisinheritedandcastoffbytheproudoldskipperinconsequence。EachMarch，AsaphTidditt，inhisofficialcapacityastownclerk，hadbeenaccustomedtoreceiveanenvelopewithaSouthAmericanpostmark，andinthatenvelopewasadraftonaBostonbankinghouseforthesumdueastaxesonthe“CyWhittakerplace。“Thedraftsweresigned“CyrusM。Whittaker。“
Butthisparticularyear——theyearinwhichthischroniclebegins——
nodrafthadbeenreceived。Asaphwaitedafewweeksandthenwrotetotheaddressindicatedbythepostmark。Hisletterwasunanswered。ThetaxesweredueinMarchanditwasnowMay。Mr。
Tiddittwroteagain；thenhelaidthecasebeforetheboardofselectmen，andCaptainEbenSalters，chairmanofthataugustbody，alsowrote。ButevenCaptainEben\'sauthoritativedemandwasignored。Nexttotheharborappropriation，thequestionofwhatshouldbedoneaboutthe“CyWhittakerplace“filledBayport\'sthoughtsthatspring。Noone，however，hadsupposedthattheHonorableHemanmightwishtobuyit。BaileyBangs\'ssurprisewasexcusable。
“Whatintheworld，“repeatedBailey，“doesHemanwantofashebanglikethat？Ain\'thegotenoughalready？”
Hisfriendshookhishead。
“\'Pearsnot，“hesaid。“Ijudgeit\'sthisway，Bailey：Heman，he\'saproudman——“
“Well，ain\'thegotarighttobeproud？”brokeinMr。Bangs，hasteningtoresentanycriticismofthepopularidol。“Cal\'lateyouandme\'dbeproudifwewasabletocarryasmuchsailashedoes，wouldn\'twe？”
“Yes，Iguesslikewewould。Butyouneedn\'tgetredinthefaceandstrainyourbilerjustbecauseIsaidthat。Iain\'tfindingfaultwithHeman；I\'monlytellin\'you。He\'sproud，asIsaid，andhiswife——“
“She\'sdeadthisfouryear。Whatareyouresurrectin\'herfor？”
“Land！you\'repepperyasaWestInjyomeletthismornin\'。LetmealonetillI\'vefinished。Hiswife，whenshewasalive，shewasproud，too。Andhisdaughter，Alicia，she\'seightyearoldnow，andbyandbyshe\'llbegrownupintoahigh-tonedyoungwoman。
Well，Hemanisfur-sighted，andIs\'poselikelyhe\'sthinkin\'ofthedayswhenthere\'llbeyoungrichfellers——senatorsand——and——
well，countsandlords，maybe——cruisin\'downherecourtin\'her。BythattimetheWhittakerplace\'llbeaworsedisgracethan\'tisnow。
Ipresumehedon\'twantthoseswellstositonhisfrontpiazzaandseethecrowsbuildin\'nestsintheruinsacrosttheroad。So——“
“Crows！Didyoueverseeacrowbuildanestinahouse？Ineverdid！”
“Oh，belay！Crowsorcanarybirds，whatdifferencedoesitmake？
SOMETHIN\'\'llnestthere，ifit\'sonlyA\'ntSophronyHallett\'shens。SoHemanhewritestotheboard，askin\'ifthetaxesispaid，ifwe\'veheardanyreasonwhytheyain\'tpaid，andwhatwe\'regoin\'todoaboutit。Ifthere\'sasalefortaxeshewantstobefustbidder。Then，whentheplaceishis，hecanteardownorrebuild，justasheseesfit。See？”
“Yes，Isee。Well，IfeelaboutthatthewayJoeDimickfeltwhenheheardthedoctorhadtoldElviryPeppershemuststopsingin\'inthechoirorlosehervoicealtogether。\'Whicheverhappens\'llbeanimprovement，\'saysCap\'nJoe；andwhateverHemandoes\'llhelptheWhittakerplace。Whatdidyoudecideatthemeetin\'？”
“Nothin\'。Wecan\'tdecideyet。Weain\'tsureaboutthelawandwewanttowaitaspell，anyhow。ButIknowhow\'twillend：Atkins\'llgettheplace。Healwaysgetswhathewants，Hemandoes。“
Baileyturnedandlookedbackattheoldhouse，forlornamidstitshuddleofblackberrybriersandweeds，andwiththeubiquitous“silver-leaf“saplingsspringingupinclusterseverywhereaboutitandclosinginonitsdefenselesswallslikesquadsofvictorioussoldierymakingthefinalchargeuponaconqueredfort。
“Well，“sighedMr。Bangs，“sothat\'llbetheendoftheoldWhittakerplace，hey？Sho！thingschangeinafeller\'slifetime，don\'tthey？Youandmecanremember，Ase，whenCap\'nCyWhittakerwasoneofthebiggestmenwehadinthistown。Sowashisdadaforehim，theCap\'nCythatbuiltthehouse。Iwonderthelooksofthingsherenowdon\'tbringthemtwoupoutoftheirgraves。DoyourememberyoungCy——\'Whit\'weusedtocallhim——or\'ReddyWhit，\'
\'countofhisredhair？Idon\'tknow\'syoudo，though；guessyou\'dgonetoseawhenherunawayfromhome。“
Mr。Tiddittshookhishead。
“No，no！”hesaid。“Iwastohomethatyear。Remember\'Whit\'？
Well，IshouldsayIdid。Hewasaholyterror——yes，sir！Wan\'tnomonkeyshinesordidoscutupinthistownthatyoungCywan\'tinto。Fur\'sthatgoes，youandmewasin\'em，too，Bailey。Wewasallholyterrorsthen。Youngonesnowadaysain\'tgotthespunkweusedtohave。“
Hisfriendchuckled。
“That\'sso，“hedeclared。“That\'sso。Whitwasagood-heartedboy，too，butfulloftheOldScratchandassotinhiswaysashisdad，andifCap\'nCywan\'tsot，thenthereain\'tnosotness。
\'You\'llgotocollegeandbeaparson，\'saystheCap\'n。\'I\'llgotoseaandbeasailor，sameasyoudone，\'saysWhit。Andhedid，too；runawayonenight，tookthepackettoBoston，andshippedaboardanAustralianclipper。Cap\'nCydidn\'tgoafterhimtofetchhimhome。No，sir——ee！notafetch。SenthimaletterplumbtoMelbourneand，sayshe：\'You\'vemadeyourbed；nowlayinit。
Don\'tyouneverdasttocomebacktomeoryourma，\'hesays。AndWhitdidn\'t，hewan\'tthatkind。“
“Prettynighkilledtheoldlady——Whit\'sma——thatdid，“musedAsaph。“Shediedalittlespellafterwards。Andtheoldmanpinedaway，too，buthenevergiveinoraskedtheboytocomeback。
Stubbornasallget-outtotheend，hewas，andwilledtheplace，allhehadleft，tothemHowesfolks。AndanicemessTHEYmadeofit。YoungCy，he——“
“YoungCy！”interruptedBailey。“We\'realwayscallin\'him\'youngCy，\'andyet，whenyoucometothinkofit，hemustbeprettynighfifty-fivenow；\'mostasoldasyouandIbe。Wonderifhe\'llevercomebackhere。“
“Youbethewon\'t！”wastheoracularreply。“Youbethewon\'t！
FromwhatIhearhegottobeaseacap\'nhimselfandsettleddownthereinBuenosAyres。He\'smadeallkindsofmoney，theysay，outofhidesandsuch。Whatheeverboughthisdad\'soldplacefor，_I_can\'tsee。He\'llnevercomebacktothesecommon，one-horselatitudes，nowyoumarkmywordonthat！”
ItwasaprophecyMr。Tiddittwasaccustomedtomakeeachyeartothecrowdatthepostoffice，whenthereceiptforthedraftfortaxescausedhimtowaxreminiscent。TheyoungergenerationhereinBayportregardtheirtownclerkassomethingofanoracle，andthisregardhasmadeAsaphatriflevainandpositive。
Baileychuckledagain。
“WeWASaspunky，dare-devillotintheolddays，wan\'twe，Ase？”
hesaid。“Spunkwaskindofborninus，asyoumightsay。Andevennowwe\'re——“
TheAtkinstowerclockboomedonce——asolemn，dignifiedstroke。
Mr。Tiddittandhiscompanionstartedandlookedateachother。
“Godfreyscissors！”gaspedAsaph。“Isthathalfpasttwelve？”
Mr。Bangspulledabigwornsilverwatchfromhispocketandglancedatthedial。
“Itis！”hemoaned。“Assure\'syou\'reborn，itis！We\'vekeptKetury\'sdinnerwaitin\'twentyminutes。Youandmeareinforitnow，AseTidditt！Twentyminuteslate！She\'llskinusalive。“
Mr。Tiddittdidnotpausetoanswer，butplungedheadlongdownthehillatarace-horsegait，Baileypoundingathisheels。For“borndare-devils，“self-confessed，theywereanervousandapprehensivepair。
The“perfectboardinghouse“issituatedaquarterofamilebeyond“Whittaker\'sHill，“nearlyoppositetheSaltershomestead。Thesign，hungonthepolebythefrontgate，reads，“BayportHotel。
BaileyBangs，Proprietor，“butnooneexceptthestrangerinBayportacceptsthatsignseriously。When，owingtoanunexpectedchangeintheadministrationatWashington，Mr。Bangswasobligedtorelinquishhispositionasourvillagepostmaster，hiswifecametotherescuewiththeproposalthattheyopenaboardinghouse。
“\'Whatsoe\'eryoufindtodo，\'quotedKeturahatsewing-circlemeeting，\'doitthenwithallyourmight！\'That\'sagoodSabbath-
schoolhymntuneandit\'sgoodsensebesides。Iintendtomakeitmylifeworktorunjustascompletea——aeatin\'andlodgin\'
establishmentasIcan。If，whenI\'mlaidtorest，theycanputontomygravestone，\'Sheruntheperfectboardin\'house，\'I\'LLbesatisfied。“
Thisremark，andsubsequentsimilardeclarations，werewidelyquoted，and，therefore，thoughcasualvisitorsmayrefertothe“BayportHotel，“tousnativestheBangsresidenceisalways“Keturah\'sperfectboardinghouse。“Asforthesign\'saffirmationofMr。Bangsproprietorship，thatisconsideredthecreamofthejoke。Theideaofmeek，bald-headedlittleBaileyposingasproprietorofanythingwhilehiswifeisondeck，ticklesBayport\'ssenseofhumor。
Theperspiringdelinquentspantedintotheyardoftheperfectboardinghouseandtremblinglyopenedthedoorleadingtothediningroom。Dinnerwaswellunderway，andMrs。Bangs，enthronedattheendofthelongtable，behindthesilver-platedteapot，waswaitingtoreceivethem。Thesilencewasappalling。
“Sorrytobealittlebehindhand，Ketury，“stammeredAsaphhurriedly。
“Townaffairsareimportant，ofcourse，andcan\'tbeneglected。I——“
“Yes，yes；that\'sso，Ketury，“cutinMr。Bangs。
“Yousee——“
“Hum！Yes，Isee。“Keturah\'stonewasseveraldegreesbelowfreezing。“Hum！Is\'pose\'twastownaffairskeptyou，too，hey？”
“Well，well——er——notexactly，asyoumightsay，but——“Baileysqueezedhimselfintothearmchairattheendofthetableoppositehiswife，theendwhich，withsarcasmnotthelesskeenforbeingunintentional，wascalledthe“head。““Notexactlytownaffairs，\'twan\'tthatkeptme，Ketury，but——My！don\'tthemcodcheekssmellgood？Youalwayscouldcookcodcheeks，ifIdosayit。“
Thecomplimentwaswasted。Mrs。Bangshadasermontodeliver，anditstextwasnot“codcheeks。“
“BaileyBangs，“shebegan，“whenIwasbroughttorealizethatmyhusband，althoughapparentlyanable-bodiedman，couldn\'tsupportmeasI\'dbeenusedtobesupported，andwhenIwasforcedtosupportHIMbykeepin\'boarders，Isays，\'Ifthere\'sonethingthatmyhouseshallstandforit\'spunctualpromptnessatmealtimes。I
saynothing，\'Isays，\'abouttheinconvenienceofgettin\'onwithonlyonehiredhelpwhenweoughttohavethree。IfProvidence，initsunscrutablewisdom，\'Isays，\'hasseenfittolaythisburdenontome，theburdenofahouseholdofboardersandahusbandwhom——\'“
AndjustthenthepowerreferredtobyMrs。Bangsintervenedtospareherhusbandtheremainderofthepreachment。Fromthedrivewayoftheyard，besidethedining-roomwindows，cametherattleofwheelsandthetrampofahorse\'sfeet。Mrs。MatildaTripp，whosatnearestthewindows，onthatside，roseandpeeredout。
“It\'sthedepotwagon，Ketury，“shesaid。“There\'ssomebodyinsideit。Iwonderifthey\'recomin\'here。“
“Transients“werealmostunknownquantitiesattheBayportHotelinMay。Consequently，alltheboardersandthelandladyherselfcrowdedtothewindows。The“depotwagon“haddrawnupbythesteps，andGabeLumley，thedriver，haddescendedfromhisseatandwasdoinghisbesttoopenthedooroftheancientvehicle。Itstuck，ofcourse；thedoorsofalldepotwagonsstick。
“Holdonashake！”commandedsomeoneinsidethecarriage。“WaittillIgetapurchaseonher。Now，then！Allhandstotheropes！
Heave——ho！THEREshecomes！”
Thedoorflewbackwithabang。Amansprangoutuponthelowerstepoftheporch。Theeyeofeveryinmateoftheperfectboardinghousewasonhim。Eventhe“hiredhelp“peeredfromthekitchendoor。
“He\'sastranger，“whisperedMrs。Tripp。“Ineverseehimbefore，didyou，Mr。Tidditt？”
Thetownclerkdidnotanswer。Hewasstaringatthedepotwagon\'spassenger，staringwithafacetheinterestedexpressionofwhichwaschangingtothatofsurpriseandamazedincredulity。Mrs。
TrippturnedtoMr。Bangs；healsowasstaring，open-mouthed。
“Godfreyscissors！”gaspedAsaph，underhisbreath。“Godfrey——
SCISSORS！Bailey，I——Ibelieve——Iswantoman，Ibelieve——“
“AseTidditt！”exclaimedMr。Bangs，“amIgoin\'looney，oristhat——
isthat——“
Neitherfinishedhissentence。Therearetimeswhenlanguageseemssopitifullyinadequate。
CHAPTERII
THEWANDERER\'SRETURN
HereinBayport，nowadays，thecollectingof“antiques“isafavoriteamusementofoursummervisitors。Thoseofuswhowerefortunateenoughtopossessasetofnickedbluedishes，awarmingpan，oratallclockwithwoodenwheels，havelongagopartedwiththesetreasuresforconsiderablesums。OddlyenoughSylvanusCahoonhasprofitedmostbythiscraze。Sylvanususedtobejudgedtheunluckiestmanintown；oflatethisjudgmenthasbeenrevised。
ItwasSylvanuswho，confinedtothehousebyanillnessbroughtonbyeatingtoomuch“sugarcake“atafreesociablegivenbytheMethodistSociety，aroseinthenightanddrankcopiouslyofwhathesupposedtobethemedicineleftbythedoctor。Ithappenedtobewater-bugpoison，andSylvanuswasnearlykilledbythedose。
Heisreportedashavingadmittedthathe“didn\'tminddyin\'somuch，buthatedtodiesuchadummeandeath。“
Whileconvalescenthetooktosmokinginbedandwasburnedoutofhouseandhomeinconsequence。Thenitwasthathiskind-heartedfellowcitizensdonated，forthefurnishingofhisnewresidence，allthecast-offbitsoffurnitureandoddsandendsfromtheirgarrets。“Charity，“observedCaptainJosiahDimickatthetime，“beginsathomewithusBayporters，anditgenerallybeginsupattic，thatbein\'nighesttoheaven。“
LaterSylvanussoldmostofthedonationsas“antiques“andmademoneyenoughtherefromtobuyanewplushparlorset。MissAngelinePhinneynevercalledontheCahoonsafterthatwithoutmakingherappearanceatthefrontdoor。“I\'llgetsomegoodoutofthatplushsofyIhelpedtopayfor，“declaredAngeline，“ifit\'sonlytowearitoutbysettin\'onit。“
Therearetwo“antiques“inBayportwhichhavenotyetbeensoldorevenbidfor。OneisGabeLumley\'s“depotwagon，“andtheotheris“Dan\'lWebster，“thehorsewhichdrawsit。Bothareveryancient，sadlyinneedofupholstery，andjerkyoflocomotion。
Gabewas，asusual，waitingatthestationwhenthedowntrainarrived，ontheTuesday——orWednesday——oftheselectmen\'smeeting。
Thetrainwasdue，accordingtothetime-table，atelevenforty-
five。Thistime-table，andthesignboardofthe“BayportHotel“
aretheonlybitsofhumorousliteraturepeculiartoourvillage，unlessweaddthepoliticaleditorialsoftheBayportBreeze。
So，atelevenforty-five，Mr。Lumleywasserenelydozingonthebaggagetruck，whichhehadwheeledtothesunnysideoftheplatform。Atfiveminutespasttwelve，heyawned，stretched，andlookedathiswatch。Then，rollingoffthetruck，hestrolledtotheedgeoftheplatformandspokeauthoritativelyto“Dan\'lWebster。“
“Hithere！standstill！”commandedMr。Lumley。
StandingstillbeingDan\'l\'slongsuit，theorderwasobeyed。
Gabethenloafedtothedoorofthestationandaccostedthedepotmaster，whowasnoddinginhischairbesidethetelegraphinstrument。
“Whereisshenow，Ed？”askedMr。Lumley，referringtothetrain。
“JustleftSouthHarniss。Behereprettysoon。What\'syourhurry？
Expectin\'anybody？”
“Naw；nobodythatIknowof，special。SophronyHallett\'sgonetoOstable，butshewon\'tbebacktillto-morrowIcal\'late。Hello！
thereshewhistlesnow。“
Needlesstosayitwasthetrain，notthewidowHallett，thathadwhistled。Thedepotmasterrosefromhischair。Ayellowdog，hisproperty，scrambledfrombeneathit，andrushingoutofthedoorandtothefartherendoftheplatform，barkedfuriously。CephasBaker，wholivesacrosstheroadfromthedepot，sloucheddowntohisfrontgate。Hiswifeopenedthedoorofherkitchenandstoodthere，herwetarmswrappedinherapron。ThefiveBakerchildrentoreroundthecornerofthehouse，overthebackfence，andlinedup，whoopingjoyously，ontheplatform。Acloudofwhitesmokebillowedabovetheclumpofcedarsatthebendofthetrack。Thenthelocomotiveroundedthecurveandboredownuponthestation。
“Standstill，Itellyou！”shoutedGabe，addressingthehorse。
Dan\'lWebsteropenedoneeye，closeditandrelapsedintoslumber。
Thetrain，acombinationbaggagecarandsmoker，twofreightcarsandapassengercoach，rolledponderouslyalongsidetheplatform。
Fromtheopendoorofthebaggagecarweretossedthemailsackandtwoexpresspackages。Theconductorsteppedfromthepassengercoach。Followinghimcamebrisklyashort，thicksetmanwithareddish-graybeardandgrayish-redhair。
“Goin\'downtothevillage，Mister？”inquiredMr。Lumley。“Carriagerighthere。“
Thestrangerinspectedthedriverofthedepotwagon，inspectedhimdeliberatelyfromtoptotoe。Thenhesaid：
“Downtothevillage？Why，yes，Iwouldn\'twonder。Say！you\'reaLumley，ain\'tyou？”
“Why！why——yes，Ibe！How\'dyouknowthat？Ain\'teverseenyouafore，haveI？”
“Guessnot，“withaquietchuckle。“I\'veneverseenyou，either，butI\'veseenyournose。I\'dknowaLumleynoseifIrunacrossitinChina。“
Thepossessorofthe“Lumleynose“rubbedthatorganinabewilderedfashion。Recoveringinameasurehelaughed，ratherhalf-heartedly，andbeggedtoknowifthetrunk，thenbeingunloadedfromthebaggagecar，belongedtohisprospectivepassenger。Astheanswerwasanaffirmativenod，hesecuredthetrunkcheckanddeparted，stillrubbinghisnose。
Whenhereturned，withthetrunkonthetruck，hefoundthestranger，withhishandsinhispockets，standingbeforeDan\'lWebsterandgazingatthatanimalwithanexpressionofacuteinterest。
“Isthisyour——horse？”demandedthenewcomer，pausingbeforethefinalwordofhisquestion。
“It\'ssocal\'latedtobe，“repliedGabe，withdignity。
“Hum！Doesheworknights？”
“Worknights？No，coursehedon\'t！”
“Oh，allright！Thenyoucanwakehimupwithaclearconscience。
Ididn\'tknowbutheneededthesleep。What\'shisrecord？”
“Record？”
“Yup；histrottin\'record。Anybodycanseehe\'sbuiltforspeed，narrowinthebeamandsharpforeandaft。ShallIgetaboardthebarouche？”
Thedepotmaster，whowasonhandtohelpwiththetrunk，grinnedbroadly。Mr。Lumleysulkilymadeanswerthathispassengermightgetaboardifhewantedto。Apparentlyhewantedto，forhesprangintothedepotwagonwithabouncethatmadetheoldvehiclerockonitssprings。
“Jerushy！”heexclaimed，“sherollssome，don\'tshe？Nevermind，MYballast\'llkeepheronanevenkeel。Trunkmadefastastern？
Allright！Say！youmightfurlsomeofthissparecanvasso\'sI
cantakeanobservationaswegoalong。Don\'tgosofastthatthescenerygetsblurred，willyou？It\'sbeensometimesinceImadethiscruise，andI\'dratherliketokeepalookout。“
Thedriver“furledthecanvas“——thatis，herolledupthecurtainsatthesidesofthecarryall。Thenheclimbedtothefrontseatandtookupthereins。
“Gitup！”heshoutedsavagely。Dan\'lWebsterdidnotmove。
Thepassengerofferedasuggestion。“Whydon\'tyoutryhangin\'analarmclockinhisfore-riggin\'？”heasked。
“Haw！haw！”roaredthedepotmaster。
“Gitup，you——youlump！”bellowedtheharassedMr。Lumley。Dan\'lprickeduponeear，thenahoof，andslowlygotunderway。AstheequipagepassedtheBakerhomestead，thewholefamilywasclusteredaboutthegate，staringattheoccupantofthewagon。Thestarewasreturned。
“Wholivesinthere？”demandedthestranger。“Whoarethosefolks？”
“CephBaker\'stribe，“wasthesullenanswer。
“Baker，hey？Humph！newfolks，Ipresumelikely。UsedtobeSethSnow\'shouse，thatdid。Where\'dSethgoto？”
Gabegruntedthathedidnotknow。HebelievedMr。Snowwasdead，haddiedyearsbefore。
“Humph！dead，hey？ThenIknowwherehewent。Doyoueversmoke——
ordoesdrivin\'thishorsemakeyoutoonervous？”
Mr。Lumleythawedabitatthesightoftheprofferedcigar。Headmittedthathesmokedoccasionallyandthatheguessed“\'twouldn\'tinterferewiththedrivin\'none。“
“Goodenough！thenwe\'lllightup。IcantalkbetterifI\'munderaheadofsteam。There\'sanewhouse；whobuiltthat？”
The“new“housewasfifteenyearsold，butGabegavethenameofitsbuilder。Then，thinkingthatthecatechisinghadbeenaltogethertooone-sided，heventuredanobservationofhisown。
“Thisisaprettygoodcigar，Mister，“hesaid。“SmokeslikeaSnowflake。“
“Likeawhat？”
“LikeaSnowflake。That\'saboutthebeststraightfivecenteryoucangetaroundhere。Simmonsusedtokeep\'em，butthedrummer\'scartain\'tcalledlatelyandhe\'sallout。“
“That\'sashame。Itoldthetrainboythatthesesmokedlikesomethin\'，butIdidn\'tknowwhattocallit。Muchobligedtoyou。
Here\'sanother；putitinyourpocket。Oh，nothanks；pleasure\'sallmine。Who\'sSimmons？”
GabedescribedtheSimmonsgeneralstoreanditsproprietor。Thenheadded：
“Iwasnoticin\'thattrunkofyours，mister；it\'sallplasteredoverwithlabels，ain\'tit？Cal\'latethattrunk\'sdonesometravelin\'，hey？”
“Thinkso，doyou？”
“Yup。Gee！I\'dliketotravelmyself。Butno！Igottostayallmylifeinthisdead\'n\'alivehole。IwantedtogotoBostonandclerkinastore，buttheoldmanputhisfootdown，andhereI\'vestuckeversence。Gitup，Dan\'l！What\'sthematterwithyou？”
Thepassengersmiled，buttherewasadreamylookinhisgrayeyes。
“Don\'tfindfault，son，“hesaid。“There\'sworseplacesintheworldthanoldBayport，andworsejudgmentthanmindin\'yourdad。
Don\'tforgetthatoryoumaybesorryforitsomeday。“Hesniffedeagerly。“Ah！”heexclaimed，“justsmellthat，willyou？Ain\'tthatFINE？”
“Humph！that\'stheflats。Youcansmell\'emanytimewhenthetide\'soutandthewind\'sright。Yousee，thetidegoesoutprettyfurhereand——“
“Don\'tIknowit？Son，I\'vebeenwaitin\'thirtyoddyearforthatsmellandhere\'tisatlast。Driveslowandletmefilluponit。
Justblowthat——thatSnowstormofyourstheotherwayforaspell，won\'tyou？Thanks。“
TherequesttobedrivenslowwassosuperfluousthatMr。Lumleypaidnoattentiontoit。HepuffedindustriouslyattheSnowflakeandwatchedhiscompanion，who，leaningforwardontheseat，wasgazingoutatthetownandthebaybeyondit。The“depothill“isnotashighasWhittaker\'sHill，buttheviewisalmostasextensive。
“Excuseme，Mister，“observedGabe，afteraninterval，“butyouain\'tsaidwhereyou\'regoin\'。“
Thepassengercameoutofhisdaydreamwithastart。
“Why，that\'sright！”heexclaimed。“SoIhaven\'t！Well，now，wherewouldyougo，ifyouwasme？Isthereahotelortavernorsomethin\'？”
“Yup。There\'stheBayportHotel。\'Tain\'texactlyahotel，neither。
Wecallittheperfectboardin\'house\'roundhere。Yousee——“
Heproceededtotellthestoryof“theperfectboardinghouse。“
Hislistenerseemedgreatlyinterested，andalthoughhelaughed，didnotinterruptuntilthetalewasended。
“So！”hesaid，chuckling。“BaileyBangs，hey？StubBangs！Well，well！AndhemarriedKeturyPayson！Howintimedidheeverfindspunkenoughtopropose？AndKeturyrunstheperfectboardin\'
house！Well，thatoughttobejobenoughforonewoman。SherunsBailey，too，ontheside，Is\'pose？”
“Youbetyou！Hedon\'tdasttosay\'boo\'toachickenwhenshe\'s\'round。Isay，Mister！Idon\'tknow\'sIknowyourname，doI？I
judgeyou\'vebeenhereaforeso——“
“Yes，I\'vebeenherebefore。Whoseisthatbigplaceupthereacrossourbows？Theonewiththecupolaonthemaintruck？”
“That，sir，“saidMr。Lumley，oratorically，“belongstotheHonorableHemanG。Atkins，andit\'sprobablythefinestinthiscounty。HemanisourrepresentativeinWashin\'ton，and——Didyousayanything？”
Thepassengerhadsaidsomething，buthedidnotrepeatit。Hewasleaningfromthecarriageandgazingsteadilyuptheslopeahead。
Andhisgaze，strangetosay，wasnotdirectedattheimposingAtkinsestate，butatitsoppositeneighbor，theold“CyWhittakerplace。“
Slowly，laboriously，Dan\'lWebstermountedthehill。Atthecresthewouldhavepausedtotakebreath，butthedriverwouldnotlethim。
“Gitalong，you！”hecommanded，flappingthereins。
AndthenMr。Lumleysufferedtheshockofasurprise。Thehithertocoolandself-possessedoccupantoftherearseatseemedverymuchexcited。HisbigredhandclaspedMr。Lumley\'soverthereins，andDan\'lwasbroughttoanabruptstandstill。
“Heaveto！”heordered，sharply，andthetonewasthatofonewhohasgivenmanyordersandexpectsthemtobeobeyed。“Belay！
Whoa，there！Greatlandoflove！lookatthat！LOOKatit！Whodidthat？”
ThematetothebigredhandpointedtothefrontdooroftheWhittakerplace。Gabewasalarmed。
“Donewhat？Donewhich？”hegasped。“Whatyoutalkin\'about？
Thereain\'tnobodylivesinthere。Thathousehasbeenemptyfor——“
“Where\'sthefrontfence？”demandedtheexcitedpassenger。“What\'sbecomeofthehedge？Andwhoputupthat——thatdarnedpiazza？”
ThepiazzahadbeenwhereitnowwasalmostsinceMr。Lumleycouldremember。Hehastenedtoreplythathedidn\'tknow；hewasn\'tsure；hepresumedlikely\'twas“themNewHampshireHoweses，“whentheyranasummerboardinghouse。
Thestrangerdrewalongbreath。“Well，ofallthe——“hebegan。
Thenhechoked，hesitated，andorderedhisdrivertoheaveaheadandrunalongsidethehotelasquickastheAlmightywouldlethim。
Gabehastenedtoobey。Hewasnowabsolutelycertainthathiscompanionwasanescapedlunatic，andthesooneranotherkeeperwasappointedthebetter。Theremainderofthetripwasmadeinsilence。
Mrs。Bangsopenedthedooroftheperfectboardinghouseandstoodmajesticallywaitingtoreceivetheprospectiveguest。Overhershoulderspeeredthefacesoftheboarders。
“Goodafternoon，“beganthelandlady。“Ipresumelikelyyouwouldliketo——“
Shewasinterrupted。Thenewcomerturnedtowardherandextendedhishand。
“Hello，Ketury！”hesaid。“Iain\'tseenyousenceyouworeyourhairup，butyou\'rejustasgood-lookin\'asever。Andain\'tthatBailey？Yes，\'tis，andAsaph，too！Howareyou，boys？Shake！”
Mr。Bangsandhischum，thetownclerk，hademergedfromthedoorway。Theirmouthsandeyeswerewideopenandtheyseemedtobesufferingfromasortofparalysis。
“Well？What\'sthematterwithyou？”demandedthearrival。“Ain\'ttoostuckuptoshakehandsafteralltheseyears，areyou？”
Bailey\'smouthclosedinorderthatit\'spossessormightswallow。
Thenitslowlyreopened。
“Iswantoman！”heejaculated。“WELL！Iswantoman！I——Ib\'lieveyou\'reCyWhittaker！”
“CourseIam。HavetodyemycarrottopifIwanttoplayanybodyelse。Butlookhere，boys，youanswermyquestion：whohadthecheektorigupthatblastedpiazzaonmyhouse？Itstartstocomedownto-morrowmornin\'！”
CHAPTERIII
“FIXIN\'OVER“
MissAngelinePhinneymadenolessthanninecallsthatafternoon。
Beforebedtimeitwasknown，fromthelasthouseinWoodchuckLanetothefishshantiesatWestBayport，that“youngCy“Whittakerhadcomeback；thathehadcomeback“forgood“；thathewasstayingtemporarilyattheperfectboardinghouse；thathewas“awfulwelloff“——havingmadelotsofmoneydowninSouthAmerica；thatheintendedto“fixover“theWhittakerplace，andthatitwastobefixedover，notinamodernmanner，withplushparlorsets——alaSylvanusCahoon——norwithonyxtablesandblueandgoldchairslikethoseadorningtheAtkinsmansion。Itwastobe，asnearaspossible，areproductionofwhatithadbeeninthetimeofthelate“Cap\'nCy，“youngCy\'sfather。
“_I_thinkhe\'soutofhishead，“declaredMissPhinney，inconfidence，toeachoftheninefemaleswhomshefavoredwithhercalls。“Notcrazy，youunderstand，butsortoftouchedintheupperstory。IsayssotoMatildyTripp，saiditrightout，too：
\'Matildy，\'Isays，\'he\'sgotascrewlooseupaloftjustassureasyou\'reabornwoman！\'\'Whatmakesyouthinkso？\'saysshe。
\'Well，\'saysI，\'doyous\'poseanybodythatwan\'tfoolishwouldbeforspendin\'goodmoneyonanoldhousetomakeitOLDER？\'Isays。
Goin\'toteardownthepiazzathefustthing！Perfectlygoodpiazzathatcostninety-eightdollarsandsixtycentstobuild；I
know，becauseIseethebillwhentheHoweseshaditdone。Andhe\'sgoin\'tosetoutboxhedges，somethin\'thatain\'tbeenthestyleinthistownsenceCongressmanAtkinspulleduphis。\'Whatintheworld，Cap\'nWhittaker，\'saysItohim，\'doyouwantofboxhedges？Homelyandstiffandfunerallookin\'！Imighthave\'emaroundmygraveintheburyin\'ground，\'Isays，\'butnowhereselse。\'\'Allright，Angie，\'sayshe，\'youshallhave\'emthere；
I\'llcutsomeslipspurposeforyou。It\'llbeapleasure，\'hesays。Nowain\'tthatcrazytalkforagrownman？”
MissPhinneywasnottheonlyoneinourvillagetoquestionCaptainCyWhittaker\'ssanityduringthenextfewmonths。Themajorityofourpeopledidn\'tunderstandhimatall。Hewasgenerallyliked，foralthoughhehadmoney，hedidnotputonairs，buthehadhisownwayofdoingthings，andtheywerenotBayportways。
Truetohispromise，hehadasquadofcarpentersbusy，onthedayfollowinghisarrival，tearingdowntheloathedpiazza。Thesecarpenters，andmore，werekeptbusythroughoutthatentirespringandwellintothesummer。Thencamepaintersandgardeners。Thepiazzadisappeared；anewpicketfence，exactlyliketheoldonetorndownbytheHoweses，waserected；newshutterswerehung；newwindowpaneswereset；theroofwasnewlyshingled。CaptainCy，Senior，had，inhisday，cherishedaNewEnglandfondnessforwhiteandgreenpaint；thereforethenewfencewaswhiteandthehousewaswhiteandtheblindsabrilliantgreen。Rowsofboxhedge，theplantsbroughtfromBoston，weresetoutoneachsideofthefrontwalk。TheHowesfront-doorbell——aclamorousgong——wasremoved，andaglassknobattachedtoaspringbelloftheold-fashioned“jingle“varietytookitsplace。Anold-fashionedflowergarden——
Cap\'nCy\'smotherhadlovedposies——waslaidoutonthewestlawnbeyondthepeartrees。Allthesechangesthecaptainsuperintended；
whentheywerecompleteheturnedhisattentiontointeriordecoration。
AndnowCaptainCyproceededto，literally，astonishthenatives。
AmongtheHowes“improvements“weregiltwallpapersandmodernfurnitureforthelowerfloorofthehouse。Thefurnituretheyhadtakenwiththem；thewallpaperhadperforcebeenleftbehind。Andthecaptainhadeveryscrapofthatpaperstrippedfromthewalls，andthelatterre-coveredwithquaint，ugly，old-fashionedpatterns，stripesandrosesandfloweredsprayswithimpossiblebirdsflittingamongthem。TheBassettdecoratorshaspastedthegiltimprovementovertheoldWhittakerpaper，anditwastheWhittakerpaperthatthecaptaindidhisbesttomatch，sendingsampleshere，there，andeverywhereintheeffort。Then，uponthewallshehungold-fashionedpictures，suchasBayportdwellershadlongagorelegatedtotheirattics，pictureslike“FromShoretoShore，““ChristianViewingtheCityBeautiful，“and“SigningtheDeclaration。“Totheseheadded，bringingthemfromthecrowdedgarretofthehomestead，oilpaintingsofshipscommandedbyhisfatherandgrandfather，andfamilyportraits，executed——whichisapeculiarlyfittingword——bydeceasedlocalartistsinoilandcrayon。
Heboardedupthefireplaceinthesittingroomandinstalledabase-burnerstove，resurrectedfromthetinsmith\'sbarn。Hepurchasedafull“hairclothset“ofparlorfurniturefromoldMrs。
Penniman，whoneverhadbeenknowntosellanyofherhoardedbelongingsbefore，eventothe“antiquers，“andwouldn\'thavedonesonow，haditnotbeenthatthecaptain\'sofferwastooprincelytobereal，andtheoldladyfearedshemightbedreamingandwouldwakeupbeforeshereceivedthemoney。AndfromTrumettoOstablehejourneyed，buyingachairhereandatablethere，braidedragmatsfromthisone，andcordedbedsteadsand“risingsun“quiltsfromthat。AtleasthalfofBayportbelievedwithGabeLumleyandMissPhinneythat，ifCaptainCyhadnotescapedfromahomefortheinsane，hewasalikelycandidateforsuchaninstitution。
Atthetableoftheperfectboardinghousethecaptainwasnotinclinedtobecommunicativeregardinghisreasonsandhisintentions。Hewasaprimefavoritethere，praisingKeturah\'scooking，jokingwithAngelineconcerningwhathewaspleasedtocallher“giddy“mannerofdressingandwearing“sidecurls，“andtellingyarnsofSouthAmericandressandbehavior，whichwouldprobablyhaveshockedMrs。Tripp——shehavingrecentlylefttheMethodistchurchtojointhe“Come-Outers，“becausetheSundayservicesoftheformerwere，withtheorganandapaidchoir，altogether“tooplay-actin\'“——iftheyhadnotbeensointeresting，andifCaptainCyhadnotalwaysconcludedthemwiththeobservation：“Butthere！youcan\'texpectnothin\'morefromignorantcrittersdeniedtheprivilegesofcongregationalsingin\'andexperiencemeetin\'s；hey，Matilda？”
Mrs。Trippwouldsighandadmitthatshesupposednot。
“OnlyIdowishMr。Daniels，OURminister，mighthaveachancetopreachover\'em，poorthings！”
“SodoI，“withacovertwinkatMrs。Bangs，whowasastanchadherentoftheregularfaith。“SouthAmerica\'dbejusttheplaceforhim；ain\'tthatso，Keturah？”
Heevadedallpersonalquestionsputtohimbytheboarders，explainingthathewasrenovatingtheoldplacejustforfun——healwayshadhadagangofmenworkingforhim，anditseemednaturalsomehow。Buttothefriendsofhisboyhood，AsaphTiddittandBaileyBangs，hetoldtherealtruth。
“Iswantoman！”exclaimedBailey，almosttearfully，asthetriowanderedthroughtheroomsoftheCyWhittakerplace，dodgingpaperhangersandplasterers；“Iswantoman，Whit，ifitdon\'talmostseemasthoughIwasaboyagain。Why！it\'syourdad\'shousecomebackalive，itisso！Lookatthissettin\'room！Seem\'sifI
couldseehimnowa-settin\'bythaterestove，andMrs。Whittaker，yourma，overtherea-sewin\'，andoldCap\'nCy——yourgranddad——
snoozin\'inthatbigarmchair——Why！why，whit！it\'stheveryimageofthechairhealwayssetin！”
CaptainCylaughedaloud。
“It\'smoren\'that，Bailey，“hesaid；“it\'sTHEchair。\'Twasupattic，allbustedandcrippled，butIhaditmadeoverlikenew。
Andthere\'sgranddad\'spicture，lookin\'justasIrememberhim——
onlyhewan\'tquitesomuchofafrozenwaximageashe\'spaintedthere。I\'mgoin\'tohangitwhereitalwayshung，overthemantelpiece，nexttothelookin\'glass。
“Greatlandoflove，boys！”hewenton，“youfellersdon\'tknowwhatthismeanstome。Manyandmany\'sthetimeI\'vehadthisoldhouseandthisoldroominmymind。I\'veseen\'emaboardshipinahowlin\'galeofftheHorn。I\'veseen\'emdowninSurinamofahotnight，whentherewan\'tabreathscurcelyandtheCaribswentarounddressedinahandkerchiefandapapercigar，anditmadeyouwishyoucould。I\'veseen\'em——butthere！everytimeI\'veseen\'emI\'vesworethatsomedayI\'dcomebackandLIVE\'em，andnow，bythebigdipper！hereIam。Oh，Itellyou，chummies，youwanttobefiredOUTofahomeandoutofatowntoappreciate\'em！NotthatIblametheoldman；heandIwastoomuchaliketocruiseincompany。ButBayportIwasbornin，andintheBayportgraveyardtheycanplantmewhenI\'mreadyforthescrapheap。It\'sinthebloodand——Why，seehere！Don\'tITALKlikeaBayporter？”
“Yousartindo！”repliedAsaphemphatically。
“Abody\'dthinkyou\'dbeendiggin\'clamsandpickin\'cranberriesinBassett\'sHollerallyourlifelong，tohearyou。“
“Youbet！Well，that\'spride；that\'swhatthatis。Ipridedmyselfonhangin\'totheBayporttwangthroughthickandthin。
AmongalltheSpanish\'Carambas\'and\'MadredeDioses\'itdidmegoodtocomeoutwithagoodoldYankee\'darn\'onceinawhile。
Keptmefeelin\'likeawhiteman。Oh，I\'maWhittaker！_I_knowit。AndI\'vegotalltheWhittakerpig-headedness，Iguess。Andbecausetheoldman——blesshisheart，Isaynow——toldmeI
shouldn\'tBEaWhittakernomore，norlivelikeaWhittaker，I
simplysworeupanddownIwouldbeoneandcomebackhere，whenI\'dmademypile，toheaveanchorandstayonetillIdie。Maybethat\'sfoolishness，butit\'sme。“
HepuffedvigorouslyatthepipewhichhadtakentheplaceoftheSnowflakecigar，andadded：
“Takethisoldsettin\'room——why，hereitis；see！Here\'sdadinhischairandmainhers，and，ifyougobackfarenough，granddadinhis，justasyousay，Bailey。Andhere\'sme，alittleshaver，squattin\'onthefloorbythestove，lookin\'atthepicturesinaheapofGodey\'sLady\'sBook。Andsaysdad，\'Bos\'n，\'hesays——heusedtocallme\'Bos\'n\'inthosedays——\'Bos\'n，\'saysdad，\'rundowncellarandfetchmeupapitcherofcider，that\'sagoodfeller。\'
Yes，yes；that\'sthisroomasI\'veseenitinmymindeversinceI
tiptoedthroughitthenightIrunaway，withmydudsinabundleundermyarm。DoyouwonderIwasfightin\'madwhenIsawwhatthatHowestribehaddonetoit？”
SuperintendingthemakingoveroftheoldhomeoccupiedmostofCaptainCy\'sdaylighttimethatsummer。HiseveningswerespentatSimmons\'sstore。WehavenoclubsinBayport，strictlyspeaking，forthesewingcircleandtheShakespeareReadingSocietyareexclusivelyfeminineinmembership；thereforeSimmons\'sstoreisthegatheringplaceofthosemaleswhoarebachelorsorwidowersorwhoaresufficientlyfreefrompetticoatgovernmenttoriskanoccasionaleveningout。AsaphTiddittwasaregularsojourneratthestore。BaileyBangs，happeningintopurchasefiftycents\'
worthofsugarortohavethemolassesjugfilled，lingeredoccasionally，butnotoften。CaptainCyexplainedBailey\'sabsenceincharacteristicfashion。
“Variety，“observedthecaptain，“isthespiceoflife。Baileygetstalkenoughtohome。What\'stheuseofhiscomin\'upheretogetmore？”
“Oh，Idon\'tknow，“saidJosiahDimick，withagrin，“welethimdosomeofthetalkin\'himselfuphere。Downattheboardin\'houseKeturahandAngiePhinneydoitall。“
“Yes。Still，ifafellerwascondemnedtoliveoverabilerfactoryhewouldn\'thankertogetajobINit，wouldhe？WhenBaileywasadelegatetotheMethodistConferenceupinBoston，himandacrowdvisitedthedeefanddumbasylum。When\'twastimetogo，hewasmissin\'，andtheyfoundhiminthefemalewardlookin\'
attheinmates。Saidthatthesightofallthemwomen，everyoneof\'emnotabletosayaword，wasthemostwonderfulthingeverhelaideyeson。Saiditmadehimfeelkindofreverentandholy，almostasifhewasinParadise。SoAseTiddittsays，anyway；it\'shisyarn。“
“\'Tain\'tnuther，CyWhittaker！”declaredtheindignantAsaph。“IfyouexpectI\'mgoin\'tofatherallyourlies，you\'remistaken。“
ThecrowdatSimmons\'sdiscusspolitics，asageneralthing；stateandnationalpoliticsintheirseasons，butcountypoliticsandlocalaffairsalways。ThequestioninBayportthatsummer，asidefromthatoftheharborappropriation，waswhoshouldbehiredasdownstairsteacher。Ourschoolhouseisatwo-storybuilding，withaschoolroomoneachfloor。Thelowerroom，wherethelittletotsbeginwiththeir“C——A——TCat，“andprogressuntiltheyhavemasteredtheFourthReader，iscalled“downstairs。““Upstairs“
is，ofcourse，thesecondstory，wheretheolderchildrenaretaught。Tohandlesomeofthe“bigboys“upstairsisataskforahealthyman，andsuchaoneusuallyfillstheteacher\'spositionthere。Downstairsbeing，intheory，atleast，lessstrenuous，ispresidedoverbyawoman。
MissSeabury，whohadbeendownstairsteacherforonelivelyterm，hadresignedthatspringintearsandhumiliation。Herscholarshadenjoyedthemselvesandwouldhavelikedhertocontinue，butthecommitteeandthetownspeoplethoughtotherwise。Therewasageneralfeelingthatenjoymentwasnotthewholeaimofeducation。
“Betty，“saidCaptainDimick，referringtohissmallgranddaughter，“hasdonefustratesofur\'smarksmanshipandlungtrainin\'goes。
Ical\'lateshecanhitanailheadtenfootoffwithaspitballthreetimesoutoffour，andshecanwhisperloudenoughtobeunderstoodinJericho。But，notwishingtobeunreasonable，stillIshouldliketohaveherspell\'door\'withoutan\'e。\'I\'vealwaysbeenusedtoseein\'itspelledthatwayand——well，I\'mkindofold-
fashioned，anyway。“
TherewasadifferenceofopinionconcerningMissSeabury\'ssuccessor。AportionofthetownspeoplewereforhiringagraduateoftheStateNormalSchool，ayoungwomanwithmoderntraining。
Others，rememberingthatMissSeaburyhadgraduatedfromthatschool，wereforprovedabilityandlessup-to-datemethods。TheselatterhadselectedacandidateinthepersonofaMissPhoebeDawes，aresidentofWellmouth，andteacheroftheWellmouth“downstairs“forsomeyears。TheargumentsatSimmons\'swerehotones。
“What\'stheuseofhirin\'somebodyfromrightnextdoortous，asyoumightsay？”demandedAlpheusSmalley，clerkatthestore。
“Don\'twewantourteachin\'tobeabreastofthetimes，andisWellmouthabreastofANYthing？”
“It\'sabreastofthebay，that\'saboutall，Iwillgivein，“
repliedMr。Tidditt。“But，thewayIlookatit，weneeddisCIPlinemore\'nanythingelse，andPhoebeDaweshashadthebestdisCIPlineinherschool，that\'sbeenknownintheselatitudes。Order？Why，say！EbenSalterstoldmethatwhenhevisitedherroomoverthere\'twassostillthathedidn\'tdasttoruboneshoeagainstt\'other，itsoundedupso。Hehadtosetstillandbearhischilblainsbesthecould。AndPOPULAR！Why，whenshehintedthatshemightleaveinMay，herscholarsmore\'nha\'fof\'em，bustoutcryin\'。Nowyouhearme，I——“
“Itseemstome，“putinThaddeusSimpson，whoranthebarbershopandwassomethingofapolitician，“itseemstome，fellers，thatwe\'dbetterwaitandhearwhatMr。Atkinshastosayinthismatter。Iguessthat\'swhatthecommittee\'lldo，anyhow。Wewouldn\'twanttogocontrarytoHeman，noneofus；hey？”
“Tad“SimpsonwasknowntobedeepinCongressmanAtkins\'sconfidence。Thementionofthegreatman\'snamewasreceivedwithreverenceandnodsofapproval。
“That\'sright。Wemustn\'tdonothin\'todispleaseHeman，“wasthegeneralopinion。
CaptainCydidnotjointhechorus。Herefilledhispipeandcrossedhislegs。
“Humph！”hegrunted。“HemanAtkinsseemstobe——Givemeamatch，Ase，won\'tyou？Thanks。Iunderstandthere\'saspecialprayermeetin\'atthechurchto-morrownight，Alpheus。What\'sitfor？”
“For？”Mr。Smalleyseemedsurprised。“It\'stoprayforrain，that\'swhat。Youknowit，Cap\'n，aswell\'sIdo。Ain\'teverybody\'sgardendryin\'upandthepondssolowthatweshan\'tbeabletogetwaterforthecranberryditchesprettysoon？There\'sneedtopray，Ishouldthink！”
“Humph！Seemsaroundaboutwayofgettin\'athing，don\'tit？Whydon\'tyoutelegraphtoHemanandaskhimtofixitforyou？Savetime。“
Thisremarkwasreceivedinhorrifiedsilence。TadSimpsonwasthefirsttorecover。
“Cap\'n，“hesaid，“youain\'tmetMr。Atkinsyet。Whenyoudo，you\'llfeelsameastherestofus。He\'scomin\'homenextweek；
thenyou\'llsee。“
ApartatleastofMr。Simpson\'sprophecyprovedtrue。TheHonorableAtkinsdidcometoBayportthefollowingweek，accompaniedbyhislittledaughterAlicia，thehousekeeper，andtheAtkinsservants。
TheHonorableandhisdaughterhadbeen，sincetheadjournmentofCongress，onapleasuretriptotheYosemiteandYellowstonePark，andnowtheyweretoremaininthemansiononthehillforsometime。Thebighousewasopened，thestoneurnsburstintorefulgentbloom，theirondogswererefreshedwithacoatofblackpaint，andthebigirongatewasswungwide。Bayportsatupandtooknotice。
AngelinePhinneywasinherglory。
ThemeetingbetweenCaptainCyandMr。Atkinstookplacethemorningafterthelatter\'sreturn。Thecaptainandhistwochumshadbeeninspectingtheprogressmadebythecarpentersandwereleaningoverthenewfence，thenjusterected，butnotyetpainted。
Downthegravelwalkofthemansionacrosstheroadcamestrollingitsowner，silk-hatted，side-whiskered，benignant。
“Godfrey！”exclaimedAsaph。“There\'sHeman。Seehim，Whit？”
“Yup，Iseehim。Seemstobeheadin\'thisway。“
“I——Idobelievehe\'scomin\'across，“whisperedMr。Bangs。“Yes，heis。He\'srealeveryday，Cy。HEwon\'tmindifyouain\'tdressedup。“
“Won\'the？That\'scomfortin\'。Well，I\'lldothebestIcanwithoutstimulants，asthedoctorsays。Ifyouhearmykneesrattlejustnudgeme，willyou，Bailey？”
Mr。Tiddittremovedhishat。Baileytouchedhis。CaptainCylookedprovokinglyindifferent；heevenwhistled。
“Goodmornin\'，Mr。Atkins，“hailedthetownclerk，raisinghisvoicebecauseofthewhistle。“I\'mproudtoseeyoubackamongus，sir。HopeyouandAliciahadanicetimeoutWest。Howisshe——
prettysmart？”