RagpickersandcostermongersofallkindswerecrowdingroundthetavernsinthedirtyandstinkingcourtyardsoftheHayMarket。
Raskolnikovparticularlylikedthisplaceandtheneighbouringalleys,whenhewanderedaimlesslyinthestreets。Herehisragsdidnotattractcontemptuousattention,andonecouldwalkaboutinanyattirewithoutscandalisingpeople。Atthecornerofanalleyahucksterandhiswifehadtwotablessetoutwithtapes,thread,cottonhandkerchiefs,&c。They,too,hadgotuptogohome,butwerelingeringinconversationwithafriend,whohadjustcomeuptothem。
ThisfriendwasLizavetaIvanovna,or,aseveryonecalledher,Lizaveta,theyoungersisteroftheoldpawnbroker,AlyonaIvanovna,whomRaskolnikovhadvisitedthepreviousdaytopawnhiswatchandmakehisexperiment……HealreadyknewallaboutLizavetaandsheknewhimalittletoo。Shewasasinglewomanofaboutthirty-five,tall,clumsy,timid,submissiveandalmostidiotic。Shewasacompleteslaveandwentinfearandtremblingofhersister,whomadeherworkdayandnight,andevenbeather。Shewasstandingwithabundlebeforethehucksterandhiswife,listeningearnestlyanddoubtfully。Theyweretalkingofsomethingwithspecialwarmth。ThemomentRaskolnikovcaughtsightofher,hewasovercomebyastrangesensationasitwereofintenseastonishment,thoughtherewasnothingastonishingaboutthismeeting。
“Youcouldmakeupyourmindforyourself,LizavetaIvanovna,“thehucksterwassayingaloud。“Comeroundtomorrowaboutseven。Theywillbeheretoo。“
“To-morrow？”saidLizavetaslowlyandthoughtfully,asthoughunabletomakeuphermind。
“Uponmyword,whatafrightyouareinofAlyonaIvanovna,“gabbledthehuckster\'swife,alivelylittlewoman。“Ilookatyou,youarelikesomelittlebabe。Andsheisnotyourownsistereither-
nothingbutastepsisterandwhatahandshekeepsoveryou！”
“Butthistimedon\'tsayawordtoAlyonaIvanovna,“herhusbandinterrupted;“that\'smyadvice,butcomeroundtouswithoutasking。
Itwillbeworthyourwhile。Lateronyoursisterherselfmayhaveanotion。“
“AmItocome？”
“Aboutseveno\'clockto-morrow。Andtheywillbehere。Youwillbeabletodecideforyourself。“
“Andwe\'llhaveacupoftea,“addedhiswife。
“Allright,I\'llcome,“saidLizaveta,stillpondering,andshebeganslowlymovingaway。
Raskolnikovhadjustpassedandheardnomore。Hepassedsoftly,unnoticed,tryingnottomissaword。Hisfirstamazementwasfollowedbyathrillofhorror,likeashiverrunningdownhisspine。Hehadlearnt,hehadsuddenlyquiteunexpectedlylearnt,thatthenextdayatseveno\'clockLizaveta,theoldwoman\'ssisterandonlycompanion,wouldbeawayfromhomeandthatthereforeatseveno\'clockpreciselytheoldwomanwouldbeleftalone。
Hewasonlyafewstepsfromhislodging。Hewentinlikeamancondemnedtodeath。Hethoughtofnothingandwasincapableofthinking;buthefeltsuddenlyinhiswholebeingthathehadnomorefreedomofthought,nowill,andthateverythingwassuddenlyandirrevocablydecided。
Certainly,ifhehadtowaitwholeyearsforasuitableopportunity,hecouldnotreckononamorecertainsteptowardsthesuccessoftheplanthanthatwhichhadjustpresenteditself。Inanycase,itwouldhavebeendifficulttofindoutbeforehandandwithcertainty,withgreaterexactnessandlessrisk,andwithoutdangerousinquiriesandinvestigations,thatnextdayatacertaintimeanoldwoman,onwhoselifeanattemptwascontemplated,wouldbeathomeandentirelyalone。
ChapterSixLATERonRaskolnikovhappenedtofindoutwhythehucksterandhiswifehadinvitedLizaveta。Itwasaveryordinarymatterandtherewasnothingexceptionalaboutit。Afamilywhohadcometothetownandbeenreducedtopovertyweresellingtheirhouseholdgoodsandclothes,allwomen\'sthings。Asthethingswouldhavefetchedlittleinthemarket,theywerelookingforadealer。ThiswasLizaveta\'sbusiness。Sheundertooksuchjobsandwasfrequentlyemployed,asshewasveryhonestandalwaysfixedafairpriceandstucktoit。Shespokeasarulelittleand,aswehavesaidalready,shewasverysubmissiveandtimid。
ButRaskolnikovhadbecomesuperstitiousoflate。Thetracesofsuperstitionremainedinhimlongafter,andwerealmostineradicable。
Andinallthishewasalwaysafterwardsdisposedtoseesomethingstrangeandmysterious,asitwerethepresenceofsomepeculiarinfluencesandcoincidences。InthepreviouswinterastudentheknewcalledPokorev,whohadleftforHarkov,hadchancedinconversationtogivehimtheaddressofAlyonaIvanovna,theoldpawnbroker,incasehemightwanttopawnanything。Foralongwhilehedidnotgotoher,forhehadlessonsandmanagedtogetalongsomehow。Sixweeksagohehadrememberedtheaddress;hehadtwoarticlesthatcouldbepawned：hisfather\'soldsilverwatchandalittlegoldringwiththreeredstones,apresentfromhissisteratparting。Hedecidedtotakethering。Whenhefoundtheoldwomanhehadfeltaninsurmountablerepulsionforheratthefirstglance,thoughheknewnothingspecialabouther。Hegottworoublesfromherandwentintoamiserablelittletavernonhiswayhome。Heaskedfortea,satdownandsankintodeepthought。Astrangeideawaspeckingathisbrainlikeachickenintheegg,andvery,verymuchabsorbedhim。
Almostbesidehimatthenexttabletherewassittingastudent,whomhedidnotknowandhadneverseen,andwithhimayoungofficer。
Theyhadplayedagameofbilliardsandbegandrinkingtea。AllatonceheheardthestudentmentiontotheofficerthepawnbrokerAlyonaIvanovnaandgivehimheraddress。ThisofitselfseemedstrangetoRaskolnikov;hehadjustcomefromherandhereatonceheheardhername。Ofcourseitwasachance,buthecouldnotshakeoffaveryextraordinaryimpression,andheresomeoneseemedtobespeakingexpresslyforhim;thestudentbegantellinghisfriendvariousdetailsaboutAlyonaIvanovna。
“Sheisfirstrate,“hesaid。“Youcanalwaysgetmoneyfromher。
SheisasrichasaJew,shecangiveyoufivethousandroublesatatimeandsheisnotabovetakingapledgeforarouble。Lotsofourfellowshavehaddealingswithher。Butsheisanawfuloldharpy……“
Andhebegandescribinghowspitefulanduncertainshewas,howifyouwereonlyadaylatewithyourinterestthepledgewaslost;howshegaveaquarterofthevalueofanarticleandtookfiveandevensevenpercentamonthonitandsoon。Thestudentchatteredon,sayingthatshehadasisterLizaveta,whomthewretchedlittlecreaturewascontinuallybeating,andkeptincompletebondagelikeasmallchild,thoughLizavetawasatleastsixfeethigh。
“There\'saphenomenonforyou,“criedthestudentandhelaughed。
TheybegantalkingaboutLizaveta。ThestudentspokeaboutherwithapeculiarrelishandwascontinuallylaughingandtheofficerlistenedwithgreatinterestandaskedhimtosendLizavetatodosomemendingforhim。Raskolnikovdidnotmissawordandlearnedeverythingabouther。Lizavetawasyoungerthantheoldwomanandwasherhalf-sister,beingthechildofadifferentmother。Shewasthirty-five。Sheworkeddayandnightforhersister,andbesidesdoingthecookingandthewashing,shedidsewingandworkedasacharwomanandgavehersisterallsheearned。Shedidnotdaretoacceptanorderorjobofanykindwithouthersister\'spermission。
Theoldwomanhadalreadymadeherwill,andLizavetaknewofit,andbythiswillshewouldnotgetafarthing;nothingbutthemovables,chairsandsoon;allthemoneywaslefttoamonasteryintheprovinceofN___,thatprayersmightbesaidforherinperpetuity。Lizavetawasoflowerrankthanhersister,unmarriedandawfullyuncouthinappearance,remarkablytallwithlongfeetthatlookedasiftheywerebentoutwards。Shealwaysworebatteredgoatskinshoes,andwascleaninherperson。WhatthestudentexpressedmostsurpriseandamusementaboutwasthefactthatLizavetawascontinuallywithchild。
“Butyousaysheishideous？”observedtheofficer。
“Yes,sheissodark-skinnedandlookslikeasoldierdressedup,butyouknowsheisnotatallhideous。Shehassuchagood-naturedfaceandeyes。Strikinglyso。Andtheproofofitisthatlotsofpeopleareattractedbyher。Sheissuchasoft,gentlecreature,readytoputupwithanything,alwayswilling,willingtodoanything。
Andhersmileisreallyverysweet。“
“Youseemtofindherattractiveyourself,“laughedtheofficer。
“Fromherqueerness。No,I\'lltellyouwhat。Icouldkillthatdamnedoldwomanandmakeoffwithhermoney,Iassureyou,withoutthefaintestconscience-prick,“thestudentaddedwithwarmth。TheofficerlaughedagainwhileRaskolnikovshuddered。Howstrangeitwas!
“Listen,Iwanttoaskyouaseriousquestion,“thestudentsaidhotly。“Iwasjokingofcourse,butlookhere;ononesidewehaveastupid,senseless,worthless,spiteful,ailing,horridoldwoman,notsimplyuselessbutdoingactualmischief,whohasnotanideawhatsheislivingforherself,andwhowilldieinadayortwoinanycase。Youunderstand?Youunderstand？”
“Yes,yes,Iunderstand,“answeredtheofficer,watchinghisexcitedcompanionattentively。
“Well,listenthen。Ontheotherside,freshyounglivesthrownawayforwantofhelpandbythousands,oneveryside!Ahundredthousandgooddeedscouldbedoneandhelped,onthatoldwoman\'smoneywhichwillbeburiedinamonastery!Hundreds,thousandsperhaps,mightbesetontherightpath;dozensoffamiliessavedfromdestitution,fromruin,fromvice,fromtheLockhospitals-andallwithhermoney。Killher,takehermoneyandwiththehelpofitdevoteoneselftotheserviceofhumanityandthegoodofall。Whatdoyouthink,wouldnotonetinycrimebewipedoutbythousandsofgooddeeds?Foronelifethousandswouldbesavedfromcorruptionanddecay。Onedeath,andahundredlivesinexchange-it\'ssimplearithmetic!Besides,whatvaluehasthelifeofthatsickly,stupid,ill-naturedoldwomaninthebalanceofexistence!Nomorethanthelifeofalouse,ofablackbeetle,lessinfactbecausetheoldwomanisdoingharm。Sheiswearingoutthelivesofothers;theotherdayshebitLizaveta\'sfingeroutofspite;italmosthadtobeamputated。“
“Ofcourseshedoesnotdeservetolive,“remarkedtheofficer,“butthereitis,it\'snature。“
“Oh,well,brother,butwehavetocorrectanddirectnature,and,butforthat,weshoulddrowninanoceanofprejudice。Butforthat,therewouldneverhavebeenasinglegreatman。Theytalkofduty,conscience-Idon\'twanttosayanythingagainstdutyandconscience;-butthepointiswhatdowemeanbythem。Stay,Ihaveanotherquestiontoaskyou。Listen！”
“No,youstay,I\'llaskyouaquestion。Listen！”
“Well？”
“Youaretalkingandspeechifyingaway,buttellme,wouldyoukilltheoldwomanyourself？”
“Ofcoursenot!Iwasonlyarguingthejusticeofit……It\'snothingtodowithme……“
“ButIthink,ifyouwouldnotdoityourself,there\'snojusticeaboutit……Letushaveanothergame。“
Raskolnikovwasviolentlyagitated。Ofcourse,itwasallordinaryyouthfultalkandthought,suchashehadoftenheardbeforeindifferentformsandondifferentthemes。Butwhyhadhehappenedtohearsuchadiscussionandsuchideasattheverymomentwhenhisownbrainwasjustconceiving……theverysameideas?Andwhy,justatthemomentwhenhehadbroughtawaytheembryoofhisideafromtheoldwomanhadhedroppedatonceuponaconversationabouther?Thiscoincidencealwaysseemedstrangetohim。Thistrivialtalkinatavernhadanimmenseinfluenceonhiminhislateraction;asthoughtherehadreallybeeninitsomethingpreordained,someguidinghint-
OnreturningfromtheHayMarketheflunghimselfonthesofaandsatforawholehourwithoutstirring。Meanwhileitgotdark;hehadnocandleand,indeed,itdidnotoccurtohimtolightup。Hecouldneverrecollectwhetherhehadbeenthinkingaboutanythingatthattime。Atlasthewasconsciousofhisformerfeverandshivering,andherealisedwithreliefthathecouldliedownonthesofa。Soonheavy,leadensleepcameoverhim,asitwerecrushinghim。
Hesleptanextraordinarilylongtimeandwithoutdreaming。
Nastasya,comingintohisroomatteno\'clockthenextmorning,haddifficultyinrousinghim。Shebroughthiminteaandbread。Theteawasagainthesecondbrewandagaininherowntea-pot。
“Mygoodness,howhesleeps！”shecriedindignantly。“Andheisalwaysasleep。“
Hegotupwithaneffort。Hisheadached,hestoodup,tookaturninhisgarretandsankbackonthesofaagain。
“Goingtosleepagain,“criedNastasya。“Areyouill,eh？”
Hemadenoreply。
“Doyouwantsometea？”
“Afterwards,“hesaidwithaneffort,closinghiseyesagainandturningtothewall。
Nastasyastoodoverhim。
“Perhapshereallyisill,“shesaid,turnedandwentout。Shecameinagainattwoo\'clockwithsoup。Hewaslyingasbefore。Theteastooduntouched。Nastasyafeltpositivelyoffendedandbeganwrathfullyrousinghim。
“Whyareyoulyinglikealog？”sheshouted,lookingathimwithrepulsion。
Hegotup,andsatdownagain,butsaidnothingandstaredatthefloor。
“Areyouillornot？”askedNastasyaandagainreceivednoanswer。
“You\'dbettergooutandgetabreathofair,“shesaidafterapause。
“Willyoueatitornot？”
“Afterwards,“hesaidweakly。“Youcango。“
Andhemotionedherout。
Sheremainedalittlelonger,lookedathimwithcompassionandwentout。
Afewminutesafterwards,heraisedhiseyesandlookedforalongwhileattheteaandthesoup。Thenhetookthebread,tookupaspoonandbegantoeat。
Heatealittle,threeorfourspoonfuls,withoutappetiteasitweremechanically。Hisheadachedless。Afterhismealhestretchedhimselfonthesofaagain,butnowhecouldnotsleep;helaywithoutstirring,withhisfaceinthepillow。Hewashauntedbydaydreamsandsuchstrangedaydreams;inone,thatkeptrecurring,hefanciedthathewasinAfrica,inEgypt,insomesortofoasis。Thecaravanwasresting,thecamelswerepeacefullylyingdown;thepalmsstoodallaroundinacompletecircle;allthepartywereatdinner。Buthewasdrinkingwaterfromaspringwhichflowedgurglingcloseby。Anditwassocool,itwaswonderful,wonderful,blue,coldwaterrunningamongtheparti-colouredstonesandoverthecleansandwhichglistenedhereandtherelikegold……Suddenlyheheardaclockstrike。Hestarted,rousedhimself,raisedhishead,lookedoutofthewindow,andseeinghowlateitwas,suddenlyjumpedupwideawakeasthoughsomeonehadpulledhimoffthesofa。
Hecreptontiptoetothedoor,stealthilyopeneditandbeganlisteningonthestaircase。Hisheartbeatterribly。Butallwasquietonthestairsasifeveryonewasasleep……Itseemedtohimstrangeandmonstrousthathecouldhavesleptinsuchforgetfulnessfromthepreviousdayandhaddonenothing,hadpreparednothingyet……Andmeanwhileperhapsithadstrucksix。Andhisdrowsinessandstupefactionwerefollowedbyanextraordinary,feverish,asitwere,distracted,haste。Butthepreparationstobemadewerefew。
Heconcentratedallhisenergiesonthinkingofeverythingandforgettingnothing;andhisheartkeptbeatingandthumpingsothathecouldhardlybreathe。Firsthehadtomakeanooseandsewitintohisovercoat-aworkofamoment。Herummagedunderhispillowandpickedoutamongstthelinenstuffedawayunderit,awornout,oldunwashedshirt。Fromitsragshetorealongstrip,acoupleofincheswideandaboutsixteenincheslong。Hefoldedthisstripintwo,tookoffhiswide,strongsummerovercoatofsomestoutcottonmaterialhisonlyoutergarmentandbegansewingthetwoendsoftheragontheinside,undertheleftarmhole。Hishandsshookashesewed,buthediditsuccessfullysothatnothingshowedoutsidewhenheputthecoatonagain。Theneedleandthreadhehadgotreadylongbeforeandtheylayonhistableinapieceofpaper。Asforthenoose,itwasaveryingeniousdeviceofhisown;thenoosewasintendedfortheaxe。Itwasimpossibleforhimtocarrytheaxethroughthestreetinhishands。Andifhiddenunderhiscoathewouldstillhavehadtosupportitwithhishand,whichwouldhavebeennoticeable。Nowhehadonlytoputtheheadoftheaxeinthenoose,anditwouldhangquietlyunderhisarmontheinside。Puttinghishandinhiscoatpocket,hecouldholdtheendofthehandlealltheway,sothatitdidnotswing;andasthecoatwasveryfull,aregularsackinfact,itcouldnotbeseenfromoutsidethathewasholdingsomethingwiththehandthatwasinthepocket。Thisnoose,too,hehaddesignedafortnightbefore。
Whenhehadfinishedwiththis,hethrusthishandintoalittleopeningbetweenhissofaandthefloor,fumbledintheleftcorneranddrewoutthepledge,whichhehadgotreadylongbeforeandhiddenthere。Thispledgewas,however,onlyasmoothlyplanedpieceofwoodthesizeandthicknessofasilvercigarettecase。Hepickedupthispieceofwoodinoneofhiswanderingsinacourtyardwheretherewassomesortofaworkshop。Afterwardshehadaddedtothewoodathinsmoothpieceofiron,whichhehadalsopickedupatthesametimeinthestreet。Puttingtheironwhichwasalittlethesmalleronthepieceofwood,hefastenedthemveryfirmly,crossingandre-crossingthethreadroundthem;thenwrappedthemcarefullyanddaintilyincleanwhitepaperandtieduptheparcelsothatitwouldbeverydifficulttountieit。Thiswasinordertodiverttheattentionoftheoldwomanforatime,whileshewastryingtoundotheknot,andsotogainamoment。Theironstripwasaddedtogiveweight,sothatthewomanmightnotguessthefirstminutethatthe“thing“wasmadeofwood。Allthishadbeenstoredbyhimbeforehandunderthesofa。Hehadonlyjustgotthepledgeoutwhenheheardsomeonesuddenlyaboutintheyard。
“Itstrucksixlongago。“
“Longago!MyGod！”
Herushedtothedoor,listened,caughtuphishatandbegantodescendhisthirteenstepscautiously,noiselessly,likeacat。Hehadstillthemostimportantthingtodo-tostealtheaxefromthekitchen。Thatthedeedmustbedonewithanaxehehaddecidedlongago。Hehadalsoapocketpruning-knife,buthecouldnotrelyontheknifeandstilllessonhisownstrength,andsoresolvedfinallyontheaxe。Wemaynoteinpassing,onepeculiarityinregardtoallthefinalresolutionstakenbyhiminthematter;theyhadonestrangecharacteristic：themorefinaltheywere,themorehideousandthemoreabsurdtheyatoncebecameinhiseyes。Inspiteofallhisagonisinginwardstruggle,heneverforasingleinstantallthattimecouldbelieveinthecarryingoutofhisplans。
And,indeed,ifithadeverhappenedthateverythingtotheleastpointcouldhavebeenconsideredandfinallysettled,andnouncertaintyofanykindhadremained,hewould,itseems,haverenounceditallassomethingabsurd,monstrousandimpossible。Butawholemassofunsettledpointsanduncertaintiesremained。Asforgettingtheaxe,thattriflingbusinesscosthimnoanxiety,fornothingcouldbeeasier。Nastasyawascontinuallyoutofthehouse,especiallyintheevenings;shewouldrunintotheneighboursortoashop,andalwaysleftthedoorajar。Itwastheonethingthelandladywasalwaysscoldingherabout。Andsowhenthetimecame,hewouldonlyhavetogoquietlyintothekitchenandtotaketheaxe,andanhourlaterwheneverythingwasovergoinandputitbackagain。Buttheseweredoubtfulpoints。Supposinghereturnedanhourlatertoputitback,andNastasyahadcomebackandwasonthespot。Hewouldofcoursehavetogobyandwaittillshewentoutagain。Butsupposingshewereinthemeantimetomisstheaxe,lookforit,makeanoutcry-
thatwouldmeansuspicionoratleastgroundsforsuspicion。
Butthosewerealltrifleswhichhehadnotevenbeguntoconsider,andindeedhehadnotime。Hewasthinkingofthechiefpoint,andputofftriflingdetails,untilhecouldbelieveinitall。
Butthatseemedutterlyunattainable。Soitseemedtohimselfatleast。Hecouldnotimagine,forinstance,thathewouldsometimeleaveoffthinking,getupandsimplygothere……Evenhislateexperimenti。e。hisvisitwiththeobjectofafinalsurveyoftheplacewassimplyanattemptatanexperiment,farfrombeingtherealthing,asthoughoneshouldsay“come,letusgoandtryit-whydreamaboutit！”-andatoncehehadbrokendownandhadrunawaycursing,inafrenzywithhimself。Meanwhileitwouldseem,asregardsthemoralquestion,thathisanalysiswascomplete;hiscasuistryhadbecomekeenasarazor,andhecouldnotfindrationalobjectionsinhimself。Butinthelastresorthesimplyceasedtobelieveinhimself,anddoggedly,slavishlysoughtargumentsinalldirections,fumblingforthem,asthoughsomeonewereforcinganddrawinghimtoit。
Atfirst-longbeforeindeed-hehadbeenmuchoccupiedwithonequestion;whyalmostallcrimesaresobadlyconcealedandsoeasilydetected,andwhyalmostallcriminalsleavesuchobvioustraces?Hehadcomegraduallytomanydifferentandcuriousconclusions,andinhisopinionthechiefreasonlaynotsomuchinthematerialimpossibilityofconcealingthecrime,asinthecriminalhimself。
Almosteverycriminalissubjecttoafailureofwillandreasoningpowerbyachildishandphenomenalheedlessness,attheveryinstantwhenprudenceandcautionaremostessential。Itwashisconvictionthatthiseclipseofreasonandfailureofwillpowerattackedamanlikeadisease,developedgraduallyandreacheditshighestpointjustbeforetheperpetrationofthecrime,continuedwithequalviolenceatthemomentofthecrimeandforlongerorshortertimeafter,accordingtotheindividualcase,andthenpassedofflikeanyotherdisease。Thequestionwhetherthediseasegivesrisetothecrime,orwhetherthecrimefromitsownpeculiarnatureisalwaysaccompaniedbysomethingofthenatureofdisease,hedidnotyetfeelabletodecide。
Whenhereachedtheseconclusions,hedecidedthatinhisowncasetherecouldnotbesuchamorbidreaction,thathisreasonandwillwouldremainunimpairedatthetimeofcarryingouthisdesign,forthesimplereasonthathisdesignwas“notacrime……“Wewillomitalltheprocessbymeansofwhichhearrivedatthislastconclusion;wehaveruntoofaraheadalready……Wemayaddonlythatthepractical,purelymaterialdifficultiesoftheaffairoccupiedasecondarypositioninhismind。“Onehasbuttokeepallone\'swillpowerandreasontodealwiththem,andtheywillallbeovercomeatthetimewhenonceonehasfamiliarisedoneselfwiththeminutestdetailsofthebusiness……“Butthispreparationhadneverbeenbegun。Hisfinaldecisionswerewhathecametotrustleast,andwhenthehourstruck,itallcametopassquitedifferently,asitwereaccidentallyandunexpectedly。
Onetriflingcircumstanceupsethiscalculations,beforehehadevenleftthestaircase。Whenhereachedthelandlady\'skitchen,thedoorofwhichwasopenasusual,heglancedcautiouslyintoseewhether,inNastasya\'sabsence,thelandladyherselfwasthere,orifnot,whetherthedoortoherownroomwasclosed,sothatshemightnotpeepoutwhenhewentinfortheaxe。ButwhatwashisamazementwhenhesuddenlysawthatNastasyawasnotonlyathomeinthekitchen,butwasoccupiedthere,takinglinenoutofabasketandhangingitonaline。Seeinghim,sheleftoffhangingtheclothes,turnedtohimandstaredathimallthetimehewaspassing。Heturnedawayhiseyes,andwalkedpastasthoughhenoticednothing。Butitwastheendofeverything;hehadnottheaxe!Hewasoverwhelmed。
“Whatmademethink,“hereflected,ashewentunderthegateway,“whatmademethinkthatshewouldbesurenottobeathomeatthatmoment!Why,why,whydidIassumethissocertainly？”
Hewascrushedandevenhumiliated。Hecouldhavelaughedathimselfinhisanger……Adullanimalrageboiledwithinhim。
Hestoodhesitatinginthegateway。Togointothestreet,togoforawalkforappearancesakewasrevolting;togobacktohisroom,evenmorerevolting。“AndwhatachanceIhavelostforever！”hemuttered,standingaimlesslyinthegateway,justoppositetheporter\'slittledarkroom,whichwasalsoopen。Suddenlyhestarted。Fromtheporter\'sroom,twopacesawayfromhim,somethingshiningunderthebenchtotherightcaughthiseye……Helookedabouthim-nobody。Heapproachedtheroomontiptoe,wentdowntwostepsintoitandinafaintvoicecalledtheporter。“Yes,notathome!Somewherenearthough,intheyard,forthedooriswideopen。“Hedashedtotheaxeitwasanaxeandpulleditoutfromunderthebench,whereitlaybetweentwochunksofwood;atoncebeforegoingout,hemadeitfastinthenoose,hethrustbothhandsintohispocketsandwentoutoftheroom;noonehadnoticedhim!“Whenreasonfails,thedevilhelps！”hethoughtwithastrangegrin。Thischanceraisedhisspiritsextraordinarily。
Hewalkedalongquietlyandsedately,withouthurry,toavoidawakeningsuspicion。Hescarcelylookedatthepassers-by,triedtoescapelookingattheirfacesatall,andtobeaslittlenoticeableaspossible。Suddenlyhethoughtofhishat。“Goodheavens!Ihadthemoneythedaybeforeyesterdayanddidnotgetacaptowearinstead！”Acurserosefromthebottomofhissoul。
Glancingoutofthecornerofhiseyeintoashop,hesawbyaclockonthewallthatitwastenminutespastseven。Hehadtomakehasteandatthesametimetogosomewayround,soastoapproachthehousefromtheotherside……
Whenhehadhappenedtoimagineallthisbeforehand,hehadsometimesthoughtthathewouldbeverymuchafraid。Buthewasnotverymuchafraidnow,wasnotafraidatall,indeed。Hismindwasevenoccupiedbyirrelevantmatters,butbynothingforlong。AshepassedtheYusupovgarden,hewasdeeplyabsorbedinconsideringthebuildingofgreatfountains,andoftheirrefreshingeffectontheatmosphereinallthesquares。BydegreeshepassedtotheconvictionthatifthesummergardenwereextendedtothefieldofMars,andperhapsjoinedtothegardenoftheMihailovskyPalace,itwouldbeasplendidthingandagreatbenefittothetown。Thenhewasinterestedbythequestionwhyinallgreattownsmenarenotsimplydrivenbynecessity,butinsomepeculiarwayinclinedtoliveinthosepartsofthetownwheretherearenogardensnorfountains;
wherethereismostdirtandsmellandallsortsofnastiness。ThenhisownwalksthroughtheHayMarketcamebacktohismind,andforamomenthewakeduptoreality。“Whatnonsense！”hethought,“betterthinkofnothingatall！”
“Soprobablymenledtoexecutionclutchmentallyateveryobjectthatmeetsthemontheway,“flashedthroughhismind,butsimplyflashed,likelightning;hemadehastetodismissthisthought……Andbynowhewasnear;herewasthehouse,herewasthegate。Suddenlyaclocksomewherestruckonce。“What!canitbehalf-pastseven?
Impossible,itmustbefast！”
Luckilyforhim,everythingwentwellagainatthegates。Atthatverymoment,asthoughexpresslyforhisbenefit,ahugewaggonofhayhadjustdriveninatthegate,completelyscreeninghimashepassedunderthegateway,andthewaggonhadscarcelyhadtimetodrivethroughintotheyard,beforehehadslippedinaflashtotheright。Ontheothersideofthewaggonhecouldhearshoutingandquarrelling;butnoonenoticedhimandnoonemethim。Manywindowslookingintothathugequadrangularyardwereopenatthatmoment,buthedidnotraisehishead-hehadnotthestrengthto。Thestaircaseleadingtotheoldwoman\'sroomwascloseby,justontherightofthegateway。Hewasalreadyonthestairs……
Drawingabreath,pressinghishandagainsthisthrobbingheart,andoncemorefeelingfortheaxeandsettingitstraight,hebegansoftlyandcautiouslyascendingthestairs,listeningeveryminute。Butthestairs,too,werequitedeserted;allthedoorswereshut;hemetnoone。Oneflatindeedonthefirstfloorwaswideopenandpainterswereatworkinit,buttheydidnotglanceathim。Hestoodstill,thoughtaminuteandwenton。“Ofcourseitwouldbebetteriftheyhadnotbeenhere,but……it\'stwostoreysabovethem。“
Andtherewasthefourthstorey,herewasthedoor,herewastheflatopposite,theemptyone。Theflatunderneaththeoldwoman\'swasapparentlyemptyalso;thevisitingcardnailedonthedoorhadbeentornoff-theyhadgoneaway!……Hewasoutofbreath。Foroneinstantthethoughtfloatedthroughhismind“ShallIgoback？”Buthemadenoanswerandbeganlisteningattheoldwoman\'sdoor,adeadsilence。Thenhelistenedagainonthestaircase,listenedlongandintently……thenlookedabouthimforthelasttime,pulledhimselftogether,drewhimselfup,andoncemoretriedtheaxeinthenoose。
“AmIverypale？”hewondered。“AmInotevidentlyagitated?Sheismistrustful……HadIbetterwaitalittlelonger……tillmyheartleavesoffthumping？”
Buthisheartdidnotleaveoff。Onthecontrary,asthoughtospitehim,itthrobbedmoreandmoreviolently。Hecouldstanditnolonger,heslowlyputouthishandtothebellandrang。Halfaminutelaterherangagain,moreloudly。
Noanswer。Togoonringingwasuselessandoutofplace。Theoldwomanwas,ofcourse,athome,butshewassuspiciousandalone。Hehadsomeknowledgeofherhabits……andoncemoreheputhiseartothedoor。Eitherhissenseswerepeculiarlykeenwhichitisdifficulttosuppose,orthesoundwasreallyverydistinct。
Anyway,hesuddenlyheardsomethinglikethecautioustouchofahandonthelockandtherustleofaskirtattheverydoor。Someonewasstandingstealthilyclosetothelockandjustashewasdoingontheoutsidewassecretlylisteningwithin,andseemedtohavehereartothedoor……Hemovedalittleonpurposeandmutteredsomethingaloudthathemightnothavetheappearanceofhiding,thenrangathirdtime,butquietly,soberlyandwithoutimpatience,Recallingitafterwards,thatmomentstoodoutinhismindvividly,distinctly,forever;hecouldnotmakeouthowhehadhadsuchcunning,forhismindwasasitwerecloudedatmomentsandhewasalmostunconsciousofhisbody……Aninstantlaterheheardthelatchunfastened。
ChapterSevenTHEDOORwasasbeforeopenedatinycrack,andagaintwosharpandsuspiciouseyesstaredathimoutofthedarkness。ThenRaskolnikovlosthisheadandnearlymadeagreatmistake。
Fearingtheoldwomanwouldbefrightenedbytheirbeingalone,andnothopingthatthesightofhimwoulddisarmhersuspicions,hetookholdofthedooranddrewittowardshimtopreventtheoldwomanfromattemptingtoshutitagain。Seeingthisshedidnotpullthedoorback,butshedidnotletgothehandlesothathealmostdraggedheroutwithitontothestairs。Seeingthatshewasstandinginthedoorwaynotallowinghimtopass,headvancedstraightuponher。
Shesteppedbackinalarm,triedtosaysomething,butseemedunabletospeakandstaredwithopeneyesathim。
“Goodevening,AlyonaIvanovna,“hebegan,tryingtospeakeasily,buthisvoicewouldnotobeyhim,itbrokeandshook。“Ihavecome……Ihavebroughtsomething……butwe\'dbettercomein……tothelight……“
Andleavingher,hepassedstraightintotheroomuninvited。Theoldwomanranafterhim;hertonguewasunloosed。
“Goodheavens!Whatitis?Whoisit?Whatdoyouwant？”
“Why,AlyonaIvanovna,youknowme……Raskolnikov……here,IbroughtyouthepledgeIpromisedtheotherday……“andheheldoutthepledge。
Theoldwomanglancedforamomentatthepledge,butatoncestaredintheeyesofheruninvitedvisitor。Shelookedintently,maliciouslyandmistrustfully。Aminutepassed;heevenfanciedsomethinglikeasneerinhereyes,asthoughshehadalreadyguessedeverything。Hefeltthathewaslosinghishead,thathewasalmostfrightened,sofrightenedthatifsheweretolooklikethatandnotsayawordforanotherhalfminute,hethoughthewouldhaverunawayfromher。
“Whydoyoulookatmeasthoughyoudidnotknowme？”hesaidsuddenly,alsowithmalice。“Takeitifyoulike,ifnotI\'llgoelsewhere,Iaminahurry。“
Hehadnoteventhoughtofsayingthis,butitwassuddenlysaidofitself。Theoldwomanrecoveredherself,andhervisitor\'sresolutetoneevidentlyrestoredherconfidence。
“Butwhy,mygoodsir,allofaminute……Whatisit？”sheasked,lookingatthepledge。
“Thesilvercigarettecase;Ispokeofitlasttime,youknow。“
Sheheldoutherhand。
“Buthowpaleyouare,tobesure……andyourhandsaretremblingtoo?Haveyoubeenbathing,orwhat？”
“Fever,“heansweredabruptly。“Youcan\'thelpgettingpale……ifyou\'venothingtoeat,“headded,withdifficultyarticulatingthewords。
Hisstrengthwasfailinghimagain。Buthisanswersoundedlikethetruth;theoldwomantookthepledge。
“Whatisit？”sheaskedoncemore,scanningRaskolnikovintently,andweighingthepledgeinherhand。
“Athing……cigarettecase……Silver……Lookatit。“
“Itdoesnotseemsomehowlikesilver……Howhehaswrappeditup！”
Tryingtountiethestringandturningtothewindow,tothelightallherwindowswereshut,inspiteofthestiflingheat,shelefthimaltogetherforsomesecondsandstoodwithherbacktohim。Heunbuttonedhiscoatandfreedtheaxefromthenoose,butdidnotyettakeitoutaltogether,simplyholdingitinhisrighthandunderthecoat。Hishandswerefearfullyweak,hefeltthemeverymomentgrowingmorenumbandmorewooden。Hewasafraidhewouldlettheaxeslipandfall……Asuddengiddinesscameoverhim。
“Butwhathashetiedituplikethisfor？”theoldwomancriedwithvexationandmovedtowardshim。
Hehadnotaminutemoretolose。Hepulledtheaxequiteout,swungitwithbotharms,scarcelyconsciousofhimself,andalmostwithouteffort,almostmechanically,broughtthebluntsidedownonherhead。Heseemednottousehisownstrengthinthis。Butassoonashehadoncebroughttheaxedown,hisstrengthreturnedtohim。
Theoldwomanwasasalwaysbareheaded。Herthin,lighthair,streakedwithgrey,thicklysmearedwithgrease,wasplaitedinarat\'stailandfastenedbyabrokenhorncombwhichstoodoutonthenapeofherneck。Asshewassoshort,theblowfellontheverytopofherskull。Shecriedout,butveryfaintly,andsuddenlysankallofaheaponthefloor,raisingherhandstoherhead。Inonehandshestillheld“thepledge。“Thenhedealtheranotherandanotherblowwiththebluntsideandonthesamespot。Thebloodgushedasfromanoverturnedglass,thebodyfellback。Hesteppedback,letitfall,andatoncebentoverherface;shewasdead。Hereyesseemedtobestartingoutoftheirsockets,thebrowandthewholefaceweredrawnandcontortedconvulsively。
Helaidtheaxeonthegroundnearthedeadbodyandfeltatonceinherpockettryingtoavoidthestreamingbody-thesamerighthandpocketfromwhichshehadtakenthekeyonhislastvisit。Hewasinfullpossessionofhisfaculties,freefromconfusionorgiddiness,buthishandswerestilltrembling。Herememberedafterwardsthathehadbeenparticularlycollectedandcareful,tryingallthetimenottogetsmearedwithblood……Hepulledoutthekeysatonce,theywereall,asbefore,inonebunchonasteelring。Heranatonceintothebedroomwiththem。Itwasaverysmallroomwithawholeshrineofholyimages。Againsttheotherwallstoodabigbed,verycleanandcoveredwithasilkpatchworkwaddedquilt。Againstathirdwallwasachestofdrawers。Strangetosay,sosoonashebegantofitthekeysintothechest,sosoonasheheardtheirjingling,aconvulsiveshudderpassedoverhim。Hesuddenlyfelttemptedagaintogiveitallupandgoaway。Butthatwasonlyforaninstant;itwastoolatetogoback。Hepositivelysmiledathimself,whensuddenlyanotherterrifyingideaoccurredtohismind。Hesuddenlyfanciedthattheoldwomanmightbestillaliveandmightrecoverhersenses。Leavingthekeysinthechest,heranbacktothebody,snatcheduptheaxeandlifteditoncemoreovertheoldwoman,butdidnotbringitdown。Therewasnodoubtthatshewasdead。Bendingdownandexaminingheragainmoreclosely,hesawclearlythattheskullwasbrokenandevenbatteredinononeside。Hewasabouttofeelitwithhisfinger,butdrewbackhishandandindeeditwasevidentwithoutthat。Meanwhiletherewasaperfectpoolofblood。Allatoncehenoticedastringonherneck;hetuggedatit,butthestringwasstronganddidnotsnapandbesides,itwassoakedwithblood。Hetriedtopullitoutfromthefrontofthedress,butsomethinghelditandpreventeditscoming。Inhisimpatienceheraisedtheaxeagaintocutthestringfromaboveonthebody,butdidnotdare,andwithdifficulty,smearinghishandandtheaxeintheblood,aftertwominutes\'hurriedeffort,hecutthestringandtookitoffwithouttouchingthebodywiththeaxe;hewasnotmistaken-itwasapurse。Onthestringweretwocrosses,oneofCypruswoodandoneofcopper,andanimageinsilverfiligree,andwiththemasmallgreasychamoisleatherpursewithasteelrimandring。Thepursewasstuffedveryfull;Raskolnikovthrustitinhispocketwithoutlookingatit,flungthecrossesontheoldwoman\'sbodyandrushedbackintothebedroom,thistimetakingtheaxewithhim。
Hewasinterriblehaste,hesnatchedthekeys,andbegantryingthemagain。Buthewasunsuccessful。Theywouldnotfitinthelocks。Itwasnotsomuchthathishandswereshaking,butthathekeptmakingmistakes;thoughhesawforinstancethatakeywasnottherightoneandwouldnotfit,stillhetriedtoputitin。Suddenlyherememberedandrealisedthatthebigkeywiththedeepnotches,whichwashangingtherewiththesmallkeyscouldnotpossiblybelongtothechestofdrawersonhislastvisitthishadstruckhim,buttosomestrongbox,andthateverythingperhapswashiddeninthatbox。Heleftthechestofdrawers,andatoncefeltunderthebedstead,knowingthatoldwomenusuallykeepboxesundertheirbeds。Andsoitwas;therewasagood-sizedboxunderthebed,atleastayardinlength,withanarchedlidcoveredwithredleatherandstuddedwithsteelnails。Thenotchedkeyfittedatonceandunlockedit。Atthetop,underawhitesheet,wasacoatofredbrocadelinedwithhareskin;underitwasasilkdress,thenashawlanditseemedasthoughtherewasnothingbelowbutclothes。Thefirstthinghedidwastowipehisblood-stainedhandsontheredbrocade。
“It\'sred,andonredbloodwillbelessnoticeable,“thethoughtpassedthroughhismind;thenhesuddenlycametohimself。“GoodGod,amIgoingoutofmysenses？”hethoughtwithterror。
Butnosoonerdidhetouchtheclothesthanagoldwatchslippedfromunderthefurcoat。Hemadehastetoturnthemallover。Thereturnedouttobevariousarticlesmadeofgoldamongtheclothes-probablyallpledges,unredeemedorwaitingtoberedeemed-
bracelets,chains,ear-rings,pinsandsuchthings。Somewereincases,otherssimplywrappedinnewspaper,carefullyandexactlyfolded,andtiedroundwithtape。Withoutanydelay,hebeganfillingupthepocketsofhistrousersandovercoatwithoutexaminingorundoingtheparcelsandcases;buthehadnottimetotakemany……
Hesuddenlyheardstepsintheroomwheretheoldwomanlay。Hestoppedshortandwasstillasdeath。Butallwasquiet,soitmusthavebeenhisfancy。Allatoncehehearddistinctlyafaintcry,asthoughsomeonehadutteredalowbrokenmoan。Thenagaindeadsilenceforaminuteortwo。Hesatsquattingonhisheelsbytheboxandwaitedholdinghisbreath。Suddenlyhejumpedup,seizedtheaxeandranoutofthebedroom。
InthemiddleoftheroomstoodLizavetawithabigbundleinherarms。Shewasgazinginstupefactionathermurderedsister,whiteasasheetandseemingnottohavethestrengthtocryout。Seeinghimrunoutofthebedroom,shebeganfaintlyquiveringallover,likealeaf,ashudderrandownherface;sheliftedherhand,openedhermouth,butstilldidnotscream。Shebeganslowlybackingawayfromhimintothecorner,staringintently,persistentlyathim,butstillutterednosound,asthoughshecouldnotgetbreathtoscream。Herushedatherwiththeaxe;hermouthtwitchedpiteously,asoneseesbabies\'mouths,whentheybegintobefrightened,stareintentlyatwhatfrightensthemandareonthepointofscreaming。AndthishaplessLizavetawassosimpleandhadbeensothoroughlycrushedandscaredthatshedidnotevenraiseahandtoguardherface,thoughthatwasthemostnecessaryandnaturalactionatthemoment,fortheaxewasraisedoverherface。Sheonlyputupheremptylefthand,butnottoherface,slowlyholdingitoutbeforeherasthoughmotioninghimaway。Theaxefellwiththesharpedgejustontheskullandsplitatoneblowallthetopofthehead。Shefellheavilyatonce。Raskolnikovcompletelylosthishead,snatchedupherbundle,droppeditagainandranintotheentry。
Feargainedmoreandmoremasteryoverhim,especiallyafterthissecond,quiteunexpectedmurder。Helongedtorunawayfromtheplaceasfastaspossible。Andifatthatmomenthehadbeencapableofseeingandreasoningmorecorrectly,ifhehadbeenabletorealiseallthedifficultiesofhisposition,thehopelessness,thehideousnessandtheabsurdityofit,ifhecouldhaveunderstoodhowmanyobstaclesand,perhaps,crimeshehadstilltoovercomeortocommit,togetoutofthatplaceandtomakehiswayhome,itisverypossiblethathewouldhaveflungupeverything,andwouldhavegonetogivehimselfup,andnotfromfear,butfromsimplehorrorandloathingofwhathehaddone。Thefeelingofloathingespeciallysurgedupwithinhimandgrewstrongereveryminute。Hewouldnotnowhavegonetotheboxorevenintotheroomforanythingintheworld。
Butasortofblankness,evendreaminesshadbegunbydegreestotakepossessionofhim;atmomentsheforgothimself,orrather,forgotwhatwasofimportance,andcaughtattrifles。Glancing,however,intothekitchenandseeingabuckethalffullofwateronabench,hebethoughthimofwashinghishandsandtheaxe。Hishandswerestickywithblood。Hedroppedtheaxewiththebladeinthewater,snatchedapieceofsoapthatlayinabrokensauceronthewindow,andbeganwashinghishandsinthebucket。Whentheywereclean,hetookouttheaxe,washedthebladeandspentalongtime,aboutthreeminutes,washingthewoodwheretherewerespotsofbloodrubbingthemwithsoap。Thenhewipeditallwithsomelinenthatwashangingtodryonalineinthekitchenandthenhewasalongwhileattentivelyexaminingtheaxeatthewindow。Therewasnotraceleftonit,onlythewoodwasstilldamp。Hecarefullyhungtheaxeinthenooseunderhiscoat。Thenasfaraswaspossible,inthedimlightinthekitchen,helookedoverhisovercoat,histrousersandhisboots。Atthefirstglancethereseemedtobenothingbutstainsontheboots。Hewettedtheragandrubbedtheboots。Butheknewhewasnotlookingthoroughly,thattheremightbesomethingquitenoticeablethathewasoverlooking。Hestoodinthemiddleoftheroom,lostinthought。Darkagonisingideasroseinhismind-
theideathathewasmadandthatatthatmomenthewasincapableofreasoning,ofprotectinghimself,thatheoughtperhapstobedoingsomethingutterlydifferentfromwhathewasnowdoing。“GoodGod！”hemuttered“Imustfly,fly,“andherushedintotheentry。Buthereashockofterrorawaitedhimsuchashehadneverknownbefore。
Hestoodandgazedandcouldnotbelievehiseyes：thedoor,theouterdoorfromthestairs,atwhichhehadnotlongbeforewaitedandrung,wasstandingunfastenedandatleastsixinchesopen。Nolock,nobolt,allthetime,allthattime!Theoldwomanhadnotshutitafterhimperhapsasaprecaution。But,goodGod!Why,hehadseenLizavetaafterwards!Andhowcouldhe,howcouldhehavefailedtoreflectthatshemusthavecomeinsomehow!Shecouldnothavecomethroughthewall!
Hedashedtothedoorandfastenedthelatch。
“Butno,thewrongthingagain。Imustgetaway,getaway……“
Heunfastenedthelatch,openedthedoorandbeganlisteningonthestaircase。
Helistenedalongtime。Somewherefaraway,itmightbeinthegateway,twovoiceswereloudlyandshrillyshouting,quarrellingandscolding。“Whataretheyabout？”Hewaitedpatiently。Atlastallwasstill,asthoughsuddenlycutoff;theyhadseparated。Hewasmeaningtogoout,butsuddenly,onthefloorbelow,adoorwasnoisilyopenedandsomeonebegangoingdownstairshummingatune。
“Howisittheyallmakesuchanoise！”flashedthroughhismind。Oncemoreheclosedthedoorandwaited。Atlastallwasstill,notasoulstirring。Hewasjusttakingasteptowardsthestairswhenheheardfreshfootsteps。
Thestepssoundedveryfaroff,attheverybottomofthestairs,butherememberedquiteclearlyanddistinctlythatfromthefirstsoundhebeganforsomereasontosuspectthatthiswassomeonecomingthere,tothefourthfloor,totheoldwoman。Why?Werethesoundssomehowpeculiar,significant?Thestepswereheavy,evenandunhurried。Nowhehadpassedthefirstfloor,nowhewasmountinghigher,itwasgrowingmoreandmoredistinct!Hecouldhearhisheavybreathing。Andnowthethirdstoreyhadbeenreached。Cominghere!Anditseemedtohimallatoncethathewasturnedtostone,thatitwaslikeadreaminwhichoneisbeingpursued,nearlycaughtandwillbekilled,andisrootedtothespotandcannotevenmoveone\'sarms。
Atlastwhentheunknownwasmountingtothefourthfloor,hesuddenlystarted,andsucceededinslippingneatlyandquicklybackintotheflatandclosingthedoorbehindhim。Thenhetookthehookandsoftly,noiselessly,fixeditinthecatch。Instincthelpedhim。
Whenhehaddonethis,hecrouchedholdinghisbreath,bythedoor。
Theunknownvisitorwasbynowalsoatthedoor。Theywerenowstandingoppositeoneanother,ashehadjustbeforebeenstandingwiththeoldwoman,whenthedoordividedthemandhewaslistening。
Thevisitorpantedseveraltimes。“Hemustbeabig,fatman,“
thoughtRaskolnikov,squeezingtheaxeinhishand。Itseemedlikeadreamindeed。Thevisitortookholdofthebellandrangloudly。
Assoonasthetinbelltinkled,Raskolnikovseemedtobeawareofsomethingmovingintheroom。Forsomesecondshelistenedquiteseriously。Theunknownrangagain,waitedandsuddenlytuggedviolentlyandimpatientlyatthehandleofthedoor。Raskolnikovgazedinhorroratthehookshakinginitsfastening,andinblankterrorexpectedeveryminutethatthefasteningwouldbepulledout。Itcertainlydidseempossible,soviolentlywasheshakingit。Hewastemptedtoholdthefastening,buthemightbeawareofit。A
giddinesscameoverhimagain。“Ishallfalldown！”flashedthroughhismind,buttheunknownbegantospeakandherecoveredhimselfatonce。
“What\'sup?Aretheyasleepormurdered?D-damnthem！”hebawledinathickvoice,“Hey,AlyonaIvanovna,oldwitch!LizavetaIvanovna,hey,mybeauty!openthedoor!Oh,damnthem!Aretheyasleeporwhat？”
Andagain,enraged,hetuggedwithallhismightadozentimesatthebell。Hemustcertainlybeamanofauthorityandanintimateacquaintance。
Atthismomentlighthurriedstepswereheardnotfaroff,onthestairs。Someoneelsewasapproaching。Raskolnikovhadnotheardthematfirst。
“Youdon\'tsaythere\'snooneathome,“thenew-comercriedinacheerful,ringingvoice,addressingthefirstvisitor,whostillwentonpullingthebell。“Goodevening,Koch。“
“Fromhisvoicehemustbequiteyoung,“thoughtRaskolnikov。
“Whothedevilcantell?I\'vealmostbrokenthelock,“answeredKoch。“Buthowdoyoucometoknowme?
“Why!ThedaybeforeyesterdayIbeatyouthreetimesrunningatbilliardsatGambrinus\'。“
“Oh！”
“Sotheyarenotathome?That\'squeer?It\'sawfullystupidthough。Wherecouldtheoldwomanhavegone?I\'vecomeonbusiness。“
“Yes;andIhavebusinesswithher,too。“
“Well,whatcanwedo?Goback,Isuppose,Aie-aie!AndIwashopingtogetsomemoney！”criedtheyoungman。
“Wemustgiveitup,ofcourse,butwhatdidshefixthistimefor?Theoldwitchfixedthetimeformetocomeherself。It\'soutofmyway。Andwherethedevilshecanhavegotto,Ican\'tmakeout。Shesitsherefromyear\'sendtoyear\'send,theoldhag;herlegsarebadandyethereallofasuddensheisoutforawalk！”
“Hadn\'twebetterasktheporter？”
“What？”
“Whereshe\'sgoneandwhenshe\'llbeback。“
“Hm……Damnitall!……Wemightask……Butyouknowsheneverdoesgoanywhere。“
Andheoncemoretuggedatthedoor-handle。
“Damnitall。There\'snothingtobedone,wemustgo！”
“Stay！”criedtheyoungmansuddenly。“Doyouseehowthedoorshakesifyoupullit？”
“Well？”
“Thatshowsit\'snotlocked,butfastenedwiththehook!Doyouhearhowthehookclanks？”
“Well？”
“Why,don\'tyousee?Thatprovesthatoneofthemisathome。Iftheywereallout,theywouldhavelockedthedoorfromtheoutsidewiththekeyandnotwiththehookfrominside。There,doyouhearhowthehookisclanking?Tofastenthehookontheinsidetheymustbeathome,don\'tyousee。Sotheretheyaresittinginsideanddon\'topenthedoor！”
“Well!Andsotheymustbe！”criedKoch,astonished。“Whataretheyaboutinthere！”Andhebeganfuriouslyshakingthedoor。
“Stay！”criedtheyoungmanagain。“Don\'tpullatit!Theremustbesomethingwrong……Here,you\'vebeenringingandpullingatthedoorandstilltheydon\'topen!Soeitherthey\'vebothfaintedor……“
“What？”
“Itellyouwhat。Let\'sgofetchtheporter,lethimwakethemup。“
“Allright。“
Bothweregoingdown。
“Stay。YoustopherewhileIrundownfortheporter。“
“Whatfor？”
“Well,you\'dbetter。“
“Allright。“
“I\'mstudyingthelawyousee!It\'sevident,e-vi-dentthere\'ssomethingwronghere！”theyoungmancriedhotly,andherandownstairs。
Kochremained。Oncemorehesoftlytouchedthebellwhichgaveonetinkle,thengently,asthoughreflectingandlookingabouthim,begantouchingthedoor-handlepullingitandlettingitgotomakesureoncemorethatitwasonlyfastenedbythehook。Thenpuffingandpantinghebentdownandbeganlookingatthekeyhole;butthekeywasinthelockontheinsideandsonothingcouldbeseen。
Raskolnikovstoodkeepingtightholdoftheaxe。Hewasinasortofdelirium。Hewasevenmakingreadytofightwhentheyshouldcomein。Whiletheywereknockingandtalkingtogether,theideaseveraltimesoccurredtohimtoenditallatonceandshouttothemthroughthedoor。Nowandthenhewastemptedtoswearatthem,tojeeratthem,whiletheycouldnotopenthedoor!“Onlymakehaste！”
wasthethoughtthatflashedthroughhismind。
“Butwhatthedevilisheabout?……“Timewaspassing,oneminute,andanother-noonecame。Kochbegantoberestless。
“Whatthedevil？”hecriedsuddenlyandinimpatiencedesertinghissentryduty,he,too,wentdown,hurryingandthumpinghisheavybootsonthestairs。Thestepsdiedaway。
“Goodheavens!WhatamItodo？”
Raskolnikovunfastenedthehook,openedthedoor-therewasnosound。Abruptly,withoutanythoughtatall,hewentout,closingthedoorasthoroughlyashecould,andwentdownstairs。
Hehadgonedownthreeflightswhenhesuddenlyheardaloudvoicebelow-wherecouldhego!Therewasnowheretohide。Hewasjustgoingbacktotheflat。
“Heythere!Catchthebrute！”
Somebodydashedoutofaflatbelow,shouting,andratherfellthanrandownthestairs,bawlingatthetopofhisvoice。
“Mitka!Mitka!Mitka!Mitka!Mitka!Blasthim！”
Theshoutendedinashriek;thelastsoundscamefromtheyard;allwasstill。Butatthesameinstantseveralmentalkingloudandfastbegannoisilymountingthestairs。Therewerethreeorfourofthem。
Hedistinguishedtheringingvoiceoftheyoungman。“They！”
Filledwithdespairhewentstraighttomeetthem,feeling“comewhatmust！”Iftheystoppedhim-allwaslost;iftheylethimpass-
allwaslosttoo;theywouldrememberhim。Theywereapproaching;theywereonlyaflightfromhim-andsuddenlydeliverance!Afewstepsfromhimontheright,therewasanemptyflatwiththedoorwideopen,theflatonthesecondfloorwherethepaintershadbeenatwork,andwhich,asthoughforhisbenefit,theyhadjustleft。Itwasthey,nodoubt,whohadjustrundown,shouting。Thefloorhadonlyjustbeenpainted,inthemiddleoftheroomstoodapailandabrokenpotwithpaintandbrushes。Inoneinstanthehadwhiskedinattheopendoorandhiddenbehindthewallandonlyinthenickoftime;
theyhadalreadyreachedthelanding。Thentheyturnedandwentonuptothefourthfloor,talkingloudly。Hewaited,wentoutontiptoeandrandownthestairs。
Noonewasonthestairs,norinthegateway。Hepassedquicklythroughthegatewayandturnedtotheleftinthestreet。
Heknew,heknewperfectlywellthatatthatmomenttheywereattheflat,thattheyweregreatlyastonishedatfindingitunlocked,asthedoorhadjustbeenfastened,thatbynowtheywerelookingatthebodies,thatbeforeanotherminutehadpassedtheywouldguessandcompletelyrealisethatthemurdererhadjustbeenthere,andhadsucceededinhidingsomewhere,slippingbythemandescaping。Theywouldguessmostlikelythathehadbeenintheemptyflat,whiletheyweregoingupstairs。Andmeanwhilehedarednotquickenhispacemuch,thoughthenextturningwasstillnearlyahundredyardsaway。“Shouldheslipthroughsomegatewayandwaitsomewhereinanunknownstreet?No,hopeless!Shouldheflingawaytheaxe?Shouldhetakeacab?Hopeless,hopeless！”
Atlasthereachedtheturning。Heturneddownitmoredeadthanalive。Herehewashalfwaytosafety,andhereunderstoodit;itwaslessriskybecausetherewasagreatcrowdofpeople,andhewaslostinitlikeagrainofsand。Butallhehadsufferedhadsoweakenedhimthathecouldscarcelymove。Perspirationrandownhimindrops,hisneckwasallwet。“Myword,hehasbeengoingit！”someoneshoutedathimwhenhecameoutonthecanalbank。
Hewasonlydimlyconsciousofhimselfnow,andthefartherhewenttheworseitwas。Herememberedhowever,thatoncomingoutontothecanalbank,hewasalarmedatfindingfewpeoplethereandsobeingmoreconspicuous,andhehadthoughtofturningback。Thoughhewasalmostfallingfromfatigue,hewentalongwayroundsoastogethomefromquiteadifferentdirection。
Hewasnotfullyconsciouswhenhepassedthroughthegatewayofhishouse!hewasalreadyonthestaircasebeforeherecollectedtheaxe。Andyethehadaverygraveproblembeforehim,toputitbackandtoescapeobservationasfaraspossibleindoingso。Hewasofcourseincapableofreflectingthatitmightperhapsbefarbetternottorestoretheaxeatall,buttodropitlateroninsomebody\'syard。
Butitallhappenedfortunately,thedooroftheporter\'sroomwasclosedbutnotlocked,sothatitseemedmostlikelythattheporterwasathome。Buthehadsocompletelylostallpowerofreflectionthathewalkedstraighttothedoorandopenedit。Iftheporterhadaskedhim“Whatdoyouwant？”hewouldperhapshavesimplyhandedhimtheaxe。Butagaintheporterwasnotathome,andhesucceededinputtingtheaxebackunderthebench,andevencoveringitwiththechunkofwoodasbefore。Hemetnoone,notasoul,afterwardsonthewaytohisroom;thelandlady\'sdoorwasshut。Whenhewasinhisroom,heflunghimselfonthesofajustashewas-hedidnotsleep,butsankintoblankforgetfulness。Ifanyonehadcomeintohisroomthen,hewouldhavejumpedupatonceandscreamed。Scrapsandshredsofthoughtsweresimplyswarminginhisbrain,buthecouldnotcatchatone,hecouldnotrestonone,inspiteofallhisefforts……
PARTTWO
ChapterOneSOHElayaverylongwhile。Nowandthenheseemedtowakeup,andatsuchmomentshenoticedthatitwasfarintothenight,butitdidnotoccurtohimtogetup。Atlasthenoticedthatitwasbeginningtogetlight。Hewaslyingonhisback,stilldazedfromhisrecentoblivion。Fearful,despairingcriesroseshrillyfromthestreet,soundswhichheheardeverynight,indeed,underhiswindowaftertwoo\'clock。Theywokehimupnow。
“Ah!thedrunkenmenarecomingoutofthetaverns,“hethought,“it\'spasttwoo\'clock,“andatonceheleapedup,asthoughsomeonehadpulledhimfromthesofa。
“What!Pasttwoo\'clock！”
Hesatdownonthesofa-andinstantlyrecollectedeverything!Allatonce,inoneflash,herecollectedeverything。
Forthefirstmomenthethoughthewasgoingmad。Adreadfulchillcameoverhim;butthechillwasfromthefeverthathadbegunlongbeforeinhissleep。Nowhewassuddenlytakenwithviolentshivering,sothathisteethchatteredandallhislimbswereshaking。Heopenedthedoorandbeganlistening;everythinginthehousewasasleep。Withamazementhegazedathimselfandeverythingintheroomaroundhim,wonderinghowhecouldhavecomeinthenightbeforewithoutfasteningthedoor,andhaveflunghimselfonthesofawithoutundressing,withouteventakinghishatoff。Ithadfallenoffandwaslyingonthefloornearhispillow。
“Ifanyonehadcomein,whatwouldhehavethought?ThatI\'mdrunkbut……“
Herushedtothewindow。Therewaslightenough,andhebeganhurriedlylookinghimselfalloverfromheadtofoot,allhisclothes;
weretherenotraces?Buttherewasnodoingitlikethat;shiveringwithcold,hebegantakingoffeverythingandlookingoveragain。Heturnedeverythingovertothelastthreadsandrags,andmistrustinghimself,wentthroughhissearchthreetimes。
Butthereseemedtobenothing,notrace,exceptinoneplace,wheresomethickdropsofcongealedbloodwereclingingtothefrayededgeofhistrousers。Hepickedupabigclaspknifeandcutoffthefrayedthreads。Thereseemedtobenothingmore。
Suddenlyherememberedthatthepurseandthethingshehadtakenoutoftheoldwoman\'sboxwerestillinhispockets!Hehadnotthoughttillthenoftakingthemoutandhidingthem!Hehadnoteventhoughtofthemwhilehewasexamininghisclothes!Whatnext?
Instantlyherushedtotakethemout,andflingthemonthetable。
Whenhehadpulledouteverything,andturnedthepocketinsideouttobesuretherewasnothingleft,hecarriedthewholeheaptothecorner。Thepaperhadcomeoffthebottomofthewallandhungthereintatters。Hebeganstuffingallthethingsintotheholeunderthepaper：“They\'rein!Alloutofsight,andthepursetoo！”hethoughtgleefully,gettingupandgazingblanklyattheholewhichbulgedoutmorethanever。Suddenlyheshudderedalloverwithhorror;“MyGod！”hewhisperedindespair：“what\'sthematterwithme?Isthathidden?Isthatthewaytohidethings？”
Hehadnotreckonedonhavingtrinketstohide。Hehadonlythoughtofmoney,andsohadnotpreparedahiding-place。
“Butnow,now,whatamIgladof？”hethought,“Isthathidingthings?Myreason\'sdesertingme-simply！”
Hesatdownonthesofainexhaustionandwasatonceshakenbyanotherunbearablefitofshivering。Mechanicallyhedrewfromachairbesidehimhisoldstudent\'swintercoat,whichwasstillwarmthoughalmostinrags,coveredhimselfupwithitandoncemoresankintodrowsinessanddelirium。Helostconsciousness。
Notmorethanfiveminuteshadpassedwhenhejumpedupasecondtime,andatoncepouncedinafrenzyonhisclothesagain。
“HowcouldIgotosleepagainwithnothingdone?Yes,yes;Ihavenottakentheloopoffthearmhole!Iforgotit,forgotathinglikethat!Suchapieceofevidence！”
Hepulledoffthenoose,hurriedlycutittopiecesandthrewthebitsamonghislinenunderthepillow。
“Piecesoftornlinencouldn\'trousesuspicion,whateverhappened;I
thinknot,Ithinknot,anyway！”herepeated,standinginthemiddleoftheroom,andwithpainfulconcentrationhefelltogazingabouthimagain,atthefloorandeverywhere,tryingtomakesurehehadnotforgottenanything。Theconviction,thatallhisfaculties,evenmemory,andthesimplestpowerofreflectionwerefailinghim,begantobeaninsufferabletorture。
“Surelyitisn\'tbeginningalready!Surelyitisn\'tmypunishmentcominguponme?Itis！”
Thefrayedragshehadcutoffhistrouserswereactuallylyingonthefloorinthemiddleoftheroom,whereanyonecominginwouldseethem!
“Whatisthematterwithme！”hecriedagain,likeonedistraught。
Thenastrangeideaenteredhishead;that,perhaps,allhisclotheswerecoveredwithblood,that,perhaps,therewereagreatmanystains,butthathedidnotseethem,didnotnoticethembecausehisperceptionswerefailing,weregoingtopieces……hisreasonwasclouded……Suddenlyherememberedthattherehadbeenbloodonthepursetoo。“Ah!Thentheremustbebloodonthepockettoo,forI
putthewetpurseinmypocket！”
Inaflashhehadturnedthepocketinsideoutand,yes!-thereweretraces,stainsontheliningofthepocket!
“Somyreasonhasnotquitedesertedme,soIstillhavesomesenseandmemory,sinceIguesseditofmyself,“hethoughttriumphantly,withadeepsighofrelief：“It\'ssimplytheweaknessoffever,amoment\'sdelirium,“andhetorethewholeliningoutoftheleftpocketofhistrousers。Atthatinstantthesunlightfellonhisleftboot;onthesockwhichpokedoutfromtheboot,hefanciedthereweretraces!Heflungoffhisboots：“tracesindeed!Thetipofthesockwassoakedwithblood“;hemusthaveunwarilysteppedintothatpool……“ButwhatamItodowiththisnow?WhereamItoputthesockandragsandpocket？”
Hegatheredthemallupinhishandsandstoodinthemiddleoftheroom。
“Inthestove?Buttheywouldransackthestovefirstofall。Burnthem?ButwhatcanIburnthemwith?Therearenomatcheseven。No,bettergooutandthrowitallawaysomewhere。Yes,betterthrowitaway,“herepeated,sittingdownonthesofaagain,“andatonce,thisminute,withoutlingering……“
Buthisheadsankonthepillowinstead。Againtheunbearableicyshiveringcameoverhim;againhedrewhiscoatoverhim。
Andforalongwhile,forsomehours,hewashauntedbytheimpulseto“gooffsomewhereatonce,thismoment,andflingitallaway,sothatitmaybeoutofsightanddonewith,atonce,atonce！”
Severaltimeshetriedtorisefromthesofabutcouldnot。
Hewasthoroughlywakedupatlastbyaviolentknockingathisdoor。
“Open,do,areyoudeadoralive?Hekeepssleepinghere！”shoutedNastasya,bangingwithherfistonthedoor。“Forwholedaystogetherhe\'ssnoringherelikeadog!Adogheistoo。OpenItellyou。It\'spastten。“
“Maybehe\'snotathome,“saidaman\'svoice。
“Ha!that\'stheporter\'svoice……Whatdoeshewant？”
Hejumpedupandsatonthesofa。Thebeatingofhisheartwasapositivepain。
“Thenwhocanhavelatchedthedoor？”retortedNastasya。
“He\'stakentoboltinghimselfin!Asifhewereworthstealing!
Open,youstupid,wakeup！”
“Whatdotheywant?Whytheporter?All\'sdiscovered。Resistoropen?Comewhatmay!……“
Hehalfrose,stoopedforwardandunlatchedthedoor。
Hisroomwassosmallthathecouldundothelatchwithoutleavingthebed。Yes;theporterandNastasyawerestandingthere。
Nastasyastaredathiminastrangeway。Heglancedwithadefiantanddesperateairattheporter,whowithoutawordheldoutagreyfoldedpapersealedwithbottle-wax。
“Anoticefromtheoffice,“heannounced,ashegavehimthepaper。
“Fromwhatoffice？”
“Asummonstothepoliceoffice,ofcourse。Youknowwhichoffice。“
“Tothepolice?……Whatfor?……“
“HowcanItell?You\'resentfor,soyougo。“
Themanlookedathimattentively,lookedroundtheroomandturnedtogoaway。
“He\'sdownrightill！”observedNastasya,nottakinghereyesoffhim。Theporterturnedhisheadforamoment。“He\'sbeeninafeversinceyesterday,“sheadded。
Raskolnikovmadenoresponseandheldthepaperinhishands,withoutopeningit。“Don\'tyougetupthen,“Nastasyawentoncompassionately,seeingthathewaslettinghisfeetdownfromthesofa。“You\'reill,andsodon\'tgo;there\'snosuchhurry。Whathaveyougotthere？”
Helooked;inhisrighthandheheldtheshredshehadcutfromhistrousers,thesock,andtheragsofthepocket。Sohehadbeenasleepwiththeminhishand。Afterwardsreflectinguponit,herememberedthathalfwakingupinhisfever,hehadgraspedallthistightlyinhishandandsofallenasleepagain。
“Lookattheragshe\'scollectedandsleepswiththem,asthoughhehasgotholdofatreasure……“
AndNastasyawentoffintoherhystericalgiggle。
Instantlyhethrustthemallunderhisgreatcoatandfixedhiseyesintentlyuponher。Farashewasfrombeingcapableofrationalreflectionatthatmoment,hefeltthatnoonewouldbehavelikethatwithapersonwhowasgoingtobearrested。“But……thepolice？”
“You\'dbetterhavesometea!Yes?I\'llbringit,there\'ssomeleft。“
“No……I\'mgoing;I\'llgoatonce,“hemuttered,gettingontohisfeet。
“Why,you\'llnevergetdownstairs！”
“Yes,I\'llgo。“
“Asyouplease。“
Shefollowedtheporterout。
Atonceherushedtothelighttoexaminethesockandtherags。
“Therearestains,butnotverynoticeable;allcoveredwithdirt,andrubbedandalreadydiscoloured。Noonewhohadnosuspicioncoulddistinguishanything。Nastasyafromadistancecouldnothavenoticed,thankGod！”Thenwithatremorhebrokethesealofthenoticeandbeganreading;hewasalongwhilereading,beforeheunderstood。Itwasanordinarysummonsfromthedistrictpolicestationtoappearthatdayathalfpastnineattheofficeofthedistrictsuperintendent。
“Butwhenhassuchathinghappened?Ineverhaveanythingtodowiththepolice!Andwhyjustto-day？”hethoughtinagonisingbewilderment。“GoodGod,onlygetitoversoon！”
Hewasflinginghimselfonhiskneestopray,butbrokeintolaughter-notattheideaofprayer,butathimself。
Hebegan,hurriedlydressing。“IfI\'mlost,Iamlost,Idon\'tcare!
ShallIputthesockon？”hesuddenlywondered,“itwillgetdustierstillandthetraceswillbegone。“
Butnosoonerhadheputitonthanhepulleditoffagaininloathingandhorror。Hepulleditoff,butreflectingthathehadnoothersocks,hepickeditupandputitonagain-andagainhelaughed。
“That\'sallconventional,that\'sallrelative,merelyawayoflookingatit,“hethoughtinaflash,butonlyonthetopsurfaceofhismind,whilehewasshudderingallover,“there,I\'vegotiton!
Ihavefinishedbygettingiton！”
Buthislaughterwasquicklyfollowedbydespair。
“No,it\'stoomuchforme……“hethought。Hislegsshook。“Fromfear,“hemuttered。Hisheadswamandachedwithfever。“It\'satrick!
Theywanttodecoymethereandconfoundmeovereverything,“hemused,ashewentoutontothestairs-“theworstofitisI\'malmostlight-headed……Imayblurtoutsomethingstupid……“