第3章
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  CHAPTERX。

  ITISTHEPRICEOFBLOOD。

  Phyllishadagooddealtothinkofaftershehadsatforhalfanhourwithherfatherintheroomwheretheyworkedtogetherforthediscomfitureoftheoppositeparty,andhadgivenhimsomeaccountoftherepresentationoftheplayattheParthenon。Herfatherwasdelightedtofindherinhighspirits。Somanypeoplecomebackfromthetheaterlookingglumandwornout,yawningandmumblingwhenaskedwhattheyhaveseenandwhatithadallbeenabout。Phylliswasnotglum,nordidshemumble。Shewasabletodescribesceneafterscene,andmorethanonceshesprangfromherseat,carriedawaybyherownpowersofdescription,andbegantoactthebitsthathadimpressedher——bitstheforceofwhichcouldonlybeunderstoodwhendescribedwithgesturesandprettyposturing。

  Herfatherthoughthehadneverseenanythingsoprettyinhislife。

  Whatagirlshewas,tobesure,tohavesoeasilyrecoveredfromtheeffectsofthatterribleordealthroughwhichshehadpassed——havingtodismissatamoment\'snoticethemanwhomshehadpromisedtomarry!Hehadcertainlyneverseenanythingsofascinatingasherprettyposturing,withtheelectriclightsgleamingoverherwhiteneckwithitsgraciouscurves,andherfirmwhitearmsfromwhichhergloveshadbeenstripped。

  IthadbeenhisintentiontodescribetoherascenewhichhadtakenplaceintheHouseofCommonsthatnight——asceneofCeltandSaxonminglinginwildturmoiloveraquestionofneglecteddutyonthepartofaGovernmentofficial:nottheonewhowassubsequentlydecoratedbythesovereignafewdaysafterhisneglectofdutyhadplacedthecountryinjeopardy,andhadprecipitatedthedownfalloftheministryandtheannihilationofhispartyasapoliticalfactor;notthisman,butanother,whohadreferredtoTrafalgarSquareastheprivatethoroughfareofthecrown。Thescenehadbeenananimatedone,andMr。

  Ayrtonhadhopedtoderiveagooddealofpleasurefromdescribingittohisdaughter;butwhenhehadlistenedtoher,andwatchedherforafewminutes,hecametotheconclusionthatitwouldbeabsurdforhimtomakeanefforttocompetewithher。WhatwashiswretchedlittlestoryofParliamentarysqualorcomparedwiththesepsychologicalsubtletieswhichhadinterestedhisdaughteralltheevening?

  Helistenedtoandwatchedthatlovelything,overflowingwiththeanimationthatcomesfromaquickintelligence——akeenappreciationoftheintelligenceofthegreatartistswhohadinterpretedastorywhichthrilledtheimaginationofgenerationaftergeneration,andhefeltthatParliamentwasapaltrything。Parliament——whatwasParliament?Thewrangleofpoliticalpartiesoverapaltryissue。Ithadnoreallifeinit;ithadnothingofthefullnessandbreadthofthemattersthatinterestedsuchpeopleashadminds——imagination。

  “Youaretired,“shecriedatlast。“Itisthoughtlessofmetokeepyououtofyourbed。Youhavehadawearynight,Iamsure。WasittheIrishagain,orthehorridteetotalers?“

  “Itwasboth,mydear,“saidhe。“Phyllis,“headdedsolemnly,“anIrishteetotalerisafearfulthing。”

  “Youshallforgetalltheintemperateteetotalersinabeautifulsleep,“saidshe,puttingherarmsaroundhisneck。“Good-night,papa!

  Itwassothoughtlessofmetokeepyouup。Itisoneo\'clock。”

  “Itappearstomethatyouaretheonewhoshouldbereadytosuccumb,“saidherfather。“Ihadnothingtostimulatemyimagination。

  Practicalpoliticshasnotyetdiscoveredagoodworkingreplytothemanwhocallshisfellow-manaliar,sothepoliticaloutlookisnotverycheering。”

  “Thatiswhatisgreatlyneeded:asatisfactoryretort——verbal,ofcourse——tothatevery-dayassertion。”

  “IthasbecomethemostpotentinfluenceintheHouseofCommons,duringthepastyearortwo;andtheworstofthematteristhatthestatementisnearlyalwayscorrect。”

  “Thenthereisallthegreaterneedfora/modusvivendi/“——shehadanampleacquaintancewiththejargonofdiplomacy。“Idon\'tdespairofParliamentbeingabletosuggestanefficientretort。”

  “Parliament:tworagamuffinsquarrelingupanentryoverarottenorange。Good-night,mychild!“

  Shewasatlastinherownroom:anapartmentofgracious-tintedfabricsandpinksatinpanels;oftapestriedsofasmadebyFrenchartistsbeforethelovelydaughterofMariaTeresawenttoherdeath。

  Sheswitchedonthelightsinthecandlesconces,andthrewherselfdownupononeofthesofas。Hertheaterwrapandfanshehadlaidoverachair。

  ItwasnottothedramawhichshehadseensuperblyactedattheParthenonthatherthoughtswentout;buttothewordswhichherdearestfriendhadspokenwhendrivingbackfromthetheater。

  Whatwordswerethey?

  Shecouldnotrecollectthemnow;butshewasstillconsciousoftheimpressionwhichtheyhadproduceduponherwhiletheywerebeingspoken。Thatimpressionwasthatuptothatinstantalltheissuesofherlifehadbeenunworthyofamoment\'sconsideration。Shehadtakenwhatshebelievedtobeadeepinterestinmanymattersduringthefiveyearsthatshehadbeentheheadofherfather\'shouse。Shehad,sheknew,beenofthegreatesthelptoherfatherinhispoliticallife,notmerelyturninghermemorytogoodaccountindiscoveringtheincautiousphrasesinthespeechesofthemenwhowerefoolishenoughtobehisopponents,butactuallyadvisinghim,whenheaskedher,onmanymattersaboutwhichthenewspapershadbeenfull。Thenshehadtakenanactivepartinmorethanoneofthose“movements“whichbecamethetopicofaLondonseasonuntilcompelledbyaninvisiblebutall-powerfulauthoritytomoveonandmakewayforthenextnewthing。Shehadmovedwitheverymovement,andhadprovedhercapacitytocontrolherselfwhenthemovementbecameuncontrollable。AndthenshehadthoughthowworthyapositioninlifewouldbethatofthewifeoftherectorofachurchlikeSt。Chad\'s。

  Thatideahadremainedwithher,ashadalreadybeensaid,forsomemonths,until,tobeexactinregardtothedate,theotheryoungwomen,whomshehadbeenwatchingwithinterest,hadboughttheirbrilliantblouseswiththenewestand,consequently,mostabnormalsleeves,castingasidethesober-huedbodiceswhichtheyhadworninhope。

  Howpaltrywerealltheseaspirations,theseundertakings!

  ThatwaswhatwasdinninginherearsallthetimeEllahadbeentalkinginthecarriage。

  Butwhy,why,whyshouldallherpreviousinterests,includingtheconsiderationofthequestionsoforthodoxyandtheotherthing,seemsoridiculouslysmallwhileEllawasspeaking?

  Thatwasthequestionwhichpuzzledher。HadEllashownherawaytosomethingbetter,somethinghigher,somethingbetterworthyoftheaspirationofawoman?Shecouldnotsaythatthathadbeenthedriftofherlargediscourse。Whatshehadsaidhadactuallybeenpuzzlinginitsvagueness,itsdaringimages——allimagesarevague;itsallegories——allallegoriesareindefinite。

  Andyet——andyet——andyet——

  WithamotionofimpatiencePhyllissprangtoherfeet。Afterapauseshewenttoalittlesatin-woodcabinetwhichshehadturnedintoabookshelf,andtookoutherBible。Shehadneversleptanightforyearswithoutreadingachapter;andinordertoavertthepossibilityofherownfeelingsorfanciesofthemomentmakinganyinvidiousdistinctionbetweenthevariouscomponentpartsofabookwhichisprofitableineveryline,shehadaccustomedherselftoreadthechaptersinconsecutiveorderfromTheGenesistoTheRevelation。

  Sometimes,whenshefoundherselffacetofaceofanightwithapurelygenealogicalchapter,PhyllisofPhilistiahaddifficultyincrushingdownherunworthydesiretoturntosomechapterthatseemedtoherfrailjudgmenttocontainwordsofwidercomforttothechildrenofmenthanagenealogicaltreeoftheChildrenofIsrael;

  butshehadneveryieldedtosounworthyanimpulse。WhowasshethatsheshouldsuggestthatonepartoftheSacredBookwascalculatedtobemoreprofitablethananother?WasitnotalltheBible?

  ShehadplowedherwaythroughthesloughofHebrewnamesupontheseoccasions,andtheblessingofthewordshadbeenbornetoherintheformofasweetsleep。

  HerchapterforthisnightwasthatwhichdescribesthecampaignofDavid,duringwhichheandhishostswerebesiegedintheirearthworks,andhowthethreemightymenhadmadeasortiethroughthecampoftheenemyinordertoobtainfortheirleaderacupofwater。

  Shecontinuedthechaptertotheend,butallthroughitthosewordswereringinginherears:

  “Itisthepriceofblood;itisthepriceofblood。”

  Andasshekneltdownbesideherbed,herbarewhitefeetpeepingoutfrombeneaththedraperyofherwhitenight-dress,inaposturethatwouldhavemadethemosthumanatheistbelieveinthebeautyofdevotion,thosewordswerestillinherears:“Thepriceofblood;thepriceofblood。”

  GoodHeavens!Howcouldshecarrythatfeatherfan?HowcouldEllaLintonholdituptoherface——holdherfacedowntoit,flutteritsfairyfluffuponhercheeks?Itwasthepriceofblood。HerbertCourtlandhadrunagreaterrisktoobtainthosefeathersthanDavid\'smightymenhadruntodrawthewaterfromthewell。ShehadheardallabouttheinsatiablesavageryofthenativesofNewGuinea。Paradise?

  Whohadnamedthosebirdsthebirdsofparadise?SherecollectedhowthefeatherswhichEllahadwhirledabouthadheldintheverycenterofeverywonderfuldiscofrichpurple,edgedwithunequalradiatinglinesofgold,asinglespotofbrilliantcrimson,withatinystarofsilverinthecenter。TheeffectofthesunlightglintingoverthiscombinationonthethousandfeathersthatsweptafterthebirdhadcausedHerbertCourtland,thefirstwhitemanwhohadseenthisgloryofglories,tocallitthemeteor-bird。Butthosecrimsondrops:weretheynotthebloodofthemenwhohadperishedmiserablywhileendeavoringtowrestitsmarvelsfromthetropicalforestsofthatgreatisland?

  Paradise?

  AndEllacouldtreatthosefeathersasthoughtheyhadbeenpluckedfromatamepheasant?Andnowshewaslyinginherbedwiththefanonthepillowbesideher!

  Howcouldshedoit?Thatwaswhatthegirlaskedherselfwhileshelayawakeonherownbed。WouldEllanotsee,onthewhitepillowbesideherhead,thecrimsonstainsofthefeathersthathadbeensnatchedoutofthedrippingredhandofdeath,butthemanwhohadnotfearedtograpplewithdeathitselfinthathellwhichpeoplecalledaparadise?

  Buttheman,themanwhohadgrippeddeathbythethroatandhadtornthefeathersfromhisgrisly,fleshlessfingers,——herimaginationwasveryvividatnight,especiallyafterreadingathrillingchapterofHebrewmassacre,——thatmanhadtalkedwithheruponsuchtriflesasbooksandplays,strangepageantsenactedamongpaperandcanvasunrealitiesoflife。Shehadactuallybeenleaningagainstsomeofthesepaintedsceneswhilethemanwhohadfoughthiswayintothedepthsofthatforestwhichnowhitemanbuthimselfhadyetpenetrated,——themanwhoselifehad,daybydayandnightbynight,beendependentupontheaccuracyofhisrifleaim,——hadtalkedwithher。

  Thatwasreallythesumofallherthoughts。Shedidnottrytorecallthewordsthathehadspoken;itwassimplythefigureofthemanwhohadbeenbeforeherthatnowremainedonhermind。Shedidnotstoptothinkwhetherornothehadspokenasamanwithintellectwouldspeak;whetherhehadspokenasamanwhoseorthodoxywasbeyondsuspicionwouldspeak。Thequestionofhisorthodoxy,ofhisintellectwhichmaybejusttheopposite,didnotoccurtoher。Allshefeltwasthatshehadbeentalkingfacetofacewithaman。

  Sothattheresultofherevening\'sentertainment,aftershehadreadherinspiringchapterintheBibleandsaidherbedsideprayer,shemighthavedefinedinpreciselythesamewordsasshehadspokentoherfriendEllawhenEllahadaskedher,immediatelyonenteringthecarriage,whatshethoughtofHerbertCourtland。

  “Heisthebravestmanintheworldatpresent。”

  Shedidnotfallasleepforaconsiderabletime。

  CHAPTERXI。

  I\'MAFRAIDTHATIMUSTHAVEPRINCIPLEONMYSIDE。

  “Itisquiteridiculous,besidesbeinguntrue,“saidPhyllis,whenshehadreadthearticleinthenewspapertowhichherfathercalledherattentiononemorning,aweekafterthecriticismon“Cagliostro“hadappeared。Thearticlewasheaded:

  “DYNAMITEVERSUSEVANGELIZATION,“

  anditcameoutinaweeklypaperdevotedtotheinterestsofNonconformists。

  “Itiswiththedeepestregretthatwehavetocalltheattentionofourreadersandthepublic[thearticleran]totheseriesofchargesbroughtbytheRevs。JosephCapperandEvansJones,theeminentpioneersoftheNonconformistEasternMission,againstagentlemantowhomaconsiderableamountofhonorisjustnowbeinggivenbytheRoyalGeographicalSociety,theEthnologicalInstitute,theOrnithologicalAssociation,andothersecularorganizations,onaccountofhisexplorationintheIslandofNewGuinea。ItisscarcelynecessarytosaythatwealludetoMr。

  HerbertCourtland。ThepositionwhichhasbeenoccupiedforseveralyearsbythetwodistinguishedministerswhoseselfsacrificeinendeavoringtospreadtheLightthroughthedarkplacesofthetropicalforestsofasavagelandiswellknowntothesubscriberstotheN。E。M。,precludesthepossibilityofamistakebeingmadeinthismatter,andyettheydeclareinaletterwhichwepublishthismorningthatthemannerinwhichMr。

  Courtlandpursuedhisso-calledexplorationsintheforestswhichlinethebanksoftheFlyRiverhaspracticallymadeimpossibleallattemptsatmissionworkinthatregion。InseveraldirectionsitisnotdeniedthatMr。Courtlandenteredintofriendlyrelationswithsomenativetribes;butinsteadofendeavoringtomakethepoorbenightedcreaturesacquaintedwiththeTruth,heactuallypurchasedasslavesoverahundredofthemtoaidhiminpenetratingtheKalloluforest,where,itwillberemembered,hesucceededinshootingthemuchillustratedmeteor-bird,aswellasseveralotherspecimenswhichwilldelightthemembersoftheOrnithologicalAssociationratherthanprofessingChristians。Ourdistinguishedcorrespondentsstate,andwehavenoroomtodoubttheirword,thatMr。Courtlandpurchasedhisslavesbyapromisetoassisttheheadmanoftheirtribeagainsthisenemiesbelongingtoanothertribe——apromisewhichheonlytooamplyfulfilled,theresultbeinganindiscriminateslaughterofsavageswho,thoughavowedcannibals,mighteventuallyhaveembracedthetruthsofNonconformity。Theelephantriflesoftheexplorerdidtheirdeadlyworkonlytooefficiently;butwetrustthat,forhisownsake,Mr。CourtlandwillbeabletobringforwardtrustworthyevidencetorebutthesuspicionofhishavinguponatleastoneoccasioninducedeventhefriendlynativestobelievethathepossessedthepoweroftheDeitytoperformmiracles,anduponanotheroccasionofhavinguseddynamiteagainstthembywhichhundredsweredestroyedincoldblood。ItistheevilinfluencesofsuchirresponsiblemenasMr。Courtland,whoseill-directedenterprisewecannotinjusticetohimrefrainfromacknowledging,thatretardtheeffortsofthosenoblepioneersofNonconformitywhohavealreadymadesuchsacrificesforthecause,andwhorejoiceatthedifficultieswithwhichtheyfindthemselvesbeset。

  WeunderstandthataquestionwillbeputtotheMinisterfortheAnnexationDepartmentintheHouseofCommonstowardthelatterendoftheweek,onthesubjectoftheallegedexcessesofthemostrecentexplorerso-calledofNewGuinea——excesseswhichifcommittedinBulgariaorArmenia,orevenIreland,wouldhavecalledforanexpressionofthehorrorofChristianEurope;andwemaymentionthatsubscriptionsonbehalfoftheRevs。JosephCapperandEvansJoneswillbereceivedattheofficeofthispapertoenablethemtosubstantiatethetruthoftheirstatements。”

  “Itisquiteridiculous,besidesbeinguntrue,papa,“criedPhyllis;

  “andIhopethatyouwillnotfailtotakehispartandshowthefalsehoodofsuchaccusations。Couldanythingbemoreabsurdthanthatabouttheslaves?Slaves!Dynamite!“

  “Leadinguptosubscriptions——don\'tforgetthat,“saidherfather。“Ifsubscriptionsaretobeforthcoming,theymustbegotup。Trafficinhumanflesh,insultstoaborigines,Siberia,theconversionoftheJews——alltheseappealdirectlytothepocketsoftheGreatEnglishPeople。Anyoneofthemwillconstituteanexcellentpegonwhichtohanganappealtothepocket。Thosetwodistinguishedpioneersof——

  well,shallwesaycivilizationorNonconformity?——understandtheirbusiness,mydear。”

  “Itisnopartoftheirbusinesstotryandholdabravemanuptotheexecrationofeveryone。”

  “I\'mnotsosureofthat。Thetechnicalitiesofthemissionfieldarenotsoapparentallatonce。TheVineyard——well,thesystemofvine-

  cultureofsomeoftheorganizationsisatrifleobscure。”

  Phyllisbecameimpatient。

  “TheHouseofCommons——aquestionistobeaskedintheHouse。Thenyoumustaskanother,papa,showingthenonsenseofthefirst。”

  “Heavensabove!WhyshouldIbedraggedintothequarrel,ifitisaquarrel,ofHerbertCourtlandontheonehandandtheReverendsJosephCapperandwhat\'stheother,Smith——no,Jones——EvansJones?I

  shouldn\'twonderifheisofWelshextraction。”

  “Youwillsurelynotstandpassivelybyandhearabravemanslandered。Thatwouldbeunlikeyou,papa。No;youareboundtoprotestagainstthefalsehood。”

  “AmIindeed?Why?Becausetheslanderedman,ifheisslandered,isthefriendofmydaughter\'sfriend?“

  “Exactly——that\'squitesufficientforyoutogoupon——thatandthefalsehood。”

  “Ifitisafalsehood。”

  “If——oh,papa——if?“

  “IfIhaveyourpersonalguaranteethatthestatementsareunsubstantiated——“

  “Now,youarebeginningtojest。Icannotjestonsoseriousanissue。

  Thinkofit——slaves——dynamite!“

  “BothexcellentwordsformissionariestosendhometoEngland——almostequaltoopiumandidolsfromthestandpointofthemission-box。”

  Phylliswassolemnforamoment;thensheburstintoamerrylaughthatonlywantedanoteofmerrimenttobedelightful。Herfatherdidnotmissthatnote。Hewasthinkingofanotherphrase。

  “Now,whyshouldn\'tyousaythatorsomethinglikethat,myfather?“

  criedthegirl。“SomethingtosettheHouselaughingbeforetheMinisteroftheAnnexationDepartmenthashadtimetoreply?Youcandoit,youknow。”

  “IbelieveIcould,“saidMr。Ayrtonthoughtfully。“Butwhy,mychild;

  why?“

  “Why!Why!Oh,ifoneonlysaidgoodthingswhentherewasareasonforsayingthem,howdullweshouldallbe!Anystickforadog——anyjestisgoodenoughfortheHouseofCommons。”

  “Yes;butsupposeitisinferredthatIamnotonthesideofthemissionaries?WhataboutHazelborough?“

  HazelboroughwastheconstituencywhichMr。AyrtonrepresentedintheHouseofCommons。

  “Mydearfather,wherewouldyoubeifyoucouldn\'tsteerthroughtheHazelboroughprejudicesnowandagain?Youcanalwayssaysomethingsogoodastomakepeoplenotcarewhichwayitcuts。”

  “What?Oh,Phyllis!Iamashamedofyou。Besides,thepeopleofHazelboroughhavegottobeextremelysensitive。TheyhavecaughttheNonconformistConscience。ThebacillusoftheNonconformistConsciencewasrampantashorttimeago,andithasnotyetbeenstampedout。I\'mafraidthatImusthaveprincipleonmyside——someshowofprinciple,atanyrate——notsowideasachurchdoororsodeepasawell,butstill——“

  “Andyouwill,too,papa。I\'llseeEllaandgethertofindoutfromMr。Courtlandwhatisthetruth。”

  “Well,perhapsitmightn\'tbewisetorushintoextremesallatonce!

  Iwouldn\'tinsistonthetruth,ifIwereyou。What\'stheHouseofCommonsthatitshouldbecockeredupwiththetruth?Allthatisneededisenoughtogoonwith。Anelectro-platingofveracityisinkeepingwiththeeconomictendenciesoftheage。”

  “Iamnotafraidofthetruth,“criedPhyllis,withoutgivingthecynicismofherfatherthetributeofasmile。“Mr。Courtlandwould,I

  know,beincapableofdoinganythingunworthyof——of——“

  “Letussayanexplorer,“suggestedherfather。Heknewthatthewordwhichwasinhermindwas/Englishman/。Sheonlycheckedherselfwhenherimaginationcausedhertoperceivetheaveragesilk-hattedmanwithhistongueinhischeekattheutteranceofthephrase。“Letussay\'unworthyofanexplorer,\'“repeatedherfather;“thatisanelasticphrase。”

  Phylliswasirritated。

  “Ihavetalkedwithhim,“shesaidatriflecoldly。

  “Yes,“saidherfather,“once。”

  “IshouldhavesaidthatIknowElla。”

  “AndyetEllaisawoman!“

  “Oh,thechargesaretooridiculous!Slaves!Whatnonsense!Weallknowwhatslaveryis。Well,wherearehisslavesnow?Ifheonlyhiredthenativesforamonthortwotheywereonlyservants,notslaves。

  Thethingismanifestlyridiculous。”

  “Thenwhyshouldwetroubleourselveswiththeattempttorebutit?“

  “Becausesomanypeopleareidiotsnowadays,“criedPhylliswarmly。

  “Because,nomatterhowridiculousachargewhichisbroughtagainstadistinguishedpersonmaybe,somepeoplewillbefoundreadytobelieveinitstruth。Nevermind;I\'llfindoutthetruth;I\'llgotoElla。”

  “Thefountain-headindeed,“saidMr。Ayrton。“Wheninsearchofthetruth,gotoawoman。”

  “Iwill,atanyrate,“saidPhyllis。

  Andshewentthither。

  CHAPTERXII。

  DYNAMITE——SLAVE-DEALING——MASSACRES——ARMENIA!

  Phyllis,ofcourse,knewwhentogotoEllawiththecertaintyoffindingherathome。AttheluncheonhourMrs。LintonwasalwaysvisibletothethreefriendswhomshehadwithintheconfinesofMayfair。Sheconsideredherselfblessedamongwomeninthenumericalstrengthofherfriendships;andsoperhapsshewas;shehadthree。

  Shewasinoneofherdrawingrooms——theonethatwasdecoratedwithwatercolorssetinflutedpanelsofyellowsilk——nottheonewiththepinkblindssobelovedbythoseofhervisitorswhohadreachedanagetoregardapinklightasawoman\'sbestfriend。ShewaswearinganewgownwhichPhyllis,inspiteofherenthusiasmonbehalfofabravemanmaligned,foundadmirablebothasregardsfabric,fit,andfashion。

  Thenfollowedawordortwoofcommendationoftheartistswhohadbeenconcernedinitsproduction。Theyhadnotbeenabsurdaboutthesleeves,andtheyhadnotvetoedthesweepoflace——itwasabouthalfayardwide——whichthepersonwhooccupiedsoinsignificantapositionasisusuallyallocatedtothemerewearerofthegownhadsuggestedforthebodice。Thegownwasanunequivocalsuccess,andhadEllaseenthedisgracefularticlewhichhadappearedinthe/SpiritualAneroid/

  onthesubjectofMr。Courtland\'sexplorations?

  Ellasmiledaslowsmile,asthequestionjoinedthecongratulationwithoutthelapseofabreath。

  “The/SpiritualAneroid/?Whoisthe/SpiritualAneroid/?Whatisthe/SpiritualAneroid/?“sheasked。“Oh,anewspaper。WhatcouldanewspaperwithsuchafunnynamehavetosayaboutMr。Courtland?“

  “Ihavebroughtitwithme,“saidPhyllis。“Itisquitedisgraceful。

  I\'msureyou\'llagreewithme。”

  “I\'mcertainofit。”

  EllaacceptedtheprofferedpaperandglanceddownthearticlepointedouttoherbyPhyllis。Phyllis\'eyesweregleamingassheplacedherfingeronthewords,“Dynamite/versus/Evangelization,“butElla\'seyesdidnotgleamwhileshewasreadingallthewordsprintedbeneaththeheading。Shefoldedthepaperandglancedcarelesslyatthenameatthetopoftheoutsidepageandsaid,“Well?“

  “Wasthereeveranythingsodisgraceful?“criedthegirl。“Wasthereeveryanythingsofalse?“

  “Isitfalse?“askedElla。

  “Howcanyoudoubtit?DoyoufancythatMr。Courtlandwouldbeaslave-dealer?“

  “Iwonderhowhe\'dlookinthebroadflathatwhichappearsinallthepicturesoftheslave-dealers?Ratherwell,Ifancy,“saidMrs。

  Linton。

  “Oh,howcanyoutalkofhislookingwellorillwhenyoureadsuchanattackuponhim?“saidPhyllis,jumpingupwithacharminglyrosyface。“Surelyitissomethingtoyouwhensodistinguishedaman——yourfriendaswell——isattacked!“

  “Ifweweretravelingwithhimacrossthedesertinacaravan,shouldwemindmuchifthewholecaravanwereattackedbyBedouinsormissionariesorpeopleofthatstamp,mydear?Ofcourseweshouldn\'t。

  Weshouldfeelthathewouldbeequaltothedefenseofallofus,andhimselfaswell。”

  “Oh,ofcourse;butthisisquiteanotherthing,isn\'tit?“

  “Whereisthedifference?Ifanybodymindsthenonsenseprintedinthatthing,HerbertCourtlandwillcertainlybeabletodefendhimselfwhencalledontodoso。”

  Phyllisseatedherselfonceagain。

  “ButaquestionistobeaskedinParliamentabouthim?“shesuggested。

  “Andcanyou,thedaughterofamemberofthatParliament,honestlytellmethatyoufancythatanyhumanbeingmindshowmanyquestionsareaskedabouthimintheQuestionableHouse?“

  “Buttheleastbreathofsuspicion——dynamite——slave-dealing——massacres——Armenia。Oh,thearticleiscertaintobecopiedintodozensofotherpapers——thepublicdosoliketogetholdofsomescandalagainstamanwhohasdonesomethinggreat。”

  “Theydoindeed。WouldyousuggestorganizingacommitteeofladiesfortheprotectionofMr。Courtland?“

  “Don\'ttalknonsense,Ella。Ithoughthatyouwerehisfriend,andthatyouwouldbeasindignantasIwasatthatdisgracefulattackuponhisreputation。”

  “Idon\'tthinkthatitwillplacehisreputationinjeopardy,unlesswiththereadersofthatpaper,andtheyarenotworthtakingintoaccount,arethey?“

  “Papasaysthethinghasalargecirculationamongacertainclass。I

  wanthimtoridiculethequestionwhichisthreatenedinthatarticle;

  heknowshowtodothatkindofthingverywell。”

  “Isitcometothat,myPhyllis?Wereyoureallysogreatlyinterestedintheoneconversationyouhadwithhimastoconstituteyourselfhischampion?“

  AboveallthingsPhylliswastruthful。Shehadneverhadanexperienceoflove——thatpassionwhichcanchangethemosttruthfulofwomankindintotheleastscrupulous。TherewasnopausebetweenElla\'squestionandPhyllis\'answer。

  “CertainlytheoneconversationthatIhadwithhiminterestedme——I

  toldyousoreturninginthecarriage。Hasheneversucceededininterestingyou,Ella?Hetoldmethatyouwerehisfriend——Ibelievehesaidhisdearestfriend。”

  “AndIbelievethathetoldyouthetruth,“saidElla。“But,beinghisbestfriendandawoman,Irefrainfromconstitutingmyselfhischampion。YouseeweliveinPhilistia,myPhyllis,andthechampionsthatPhilistiasendsforthusuallycometogrief;therewasthecaseofoneGoliathofGath,forexample。Ihavenodesiretohavestonesslungatmebythechosenpeople。”

  “I\'mnotquitesurethatIunderstandyou,“saidPhyllis,withaveryprettypuckeronherforehead。“Youdon\'tmeantosaythatawomanshouldnotdoherbestforamanwhomsheknowstobemaligned?Youdon\'tsuggestthatsheshouldstandsilentlytoonesidewhilepeoplearesayingwhat\'sfalseabouthim?“

  “Isaythatit\'sunwiseinPhilistia;thoughIadmitthatitisofthegreatestadvantagetotheman,forpeopleatonceceasemaligninghimandtaketomaligningher。”

  “Ifsheisanysortofawomanshewillnotmindthat,howeverunjustitmaybe。Inthiscase,however,Idon\'tthinkthereismuchrisk:

  eventhemostunscrupulouspersoncouldhardlysaythat——that——“

  “ThatwewerebecomingHerbertCourtland\'schampions,becausewewereinlovewithhim?“

  “Well,Idon\'tknow。Wasn\'tthatwhatyoumeanttosuggestpeoplewouldsayofawomanwhobecameaman\'schampion?“

  “Somethinginthatway。Howstraightforwardlyyouspeakoutwhat\'sonyourmind!“

  “Oh,I\'magirlofto-day。Ihavegotoverallthoseabsurdaffectationsofchildishnesswhichusedtobethoughtfemininelongago。Thegambolsofthekittenwereoncethoughtthemostattractivethingonearth,andtheyareveryinteresting:butforthefull-growncattopretendthatitisperfectlyhappywithaballofworsted,whenallthetimeithasitsheartsetonarealmouse,isnonsense。”

  “Thatisanallegory,asubtleparable,Phyllis。ButIfancyIcaninterpretit。Youarequiteright。Menknowthatwe,thefull-growncats,takenointerestintheravelingsofwoolasmediumsofdiversion——thatwehaveourheartssetonmice。Oh,yes!itismuchbettertobestraightforwardinourspeech——itisevensometimesbettertobequitestraightinourwaysaswell。Itusuallypreventsmisunderstanding。Thereisscarcelyasubjectthatwomenmaynottalkabouttomeninthemostdirectway,nowadays。Butaboutthequestionofchampionship——“

  HerethedooroftheroomwasthrownopenandMr。HerbertCourtlandwasannounced。

  “IquiteforgottomentionthatMr。Courtlandwaslunchingwithusto-day,Phyllis,“saidElla,whileshakinghandswithhervisitor。

  “Nowyouwillhaveachanceofgettingtheslave-dealer\'saccountofthewholebusiness。Areyouaslave-dealer,Bertie?Ifso,whydon\'tyouweartheusualbroad-leavedhatofyourorder?“

  “ItisIwhoamtheenslavedone,“saidMr。Courtland,layinghishandtotheleftofthebuttonsofhiswhitewaistcoatandbowingthebowoftheearlyyearsofthecentury,withaglanceateachlady。

  “Whataprettyreminiscenceoftheageofartificiality!“saidElla;

  “andwhatanaptcommentaryuponthesubjectweweretalkingabout,Phyllis!Wewerediscussingthemeritsofdirectnessinspeechandstraightnessineveryway。Wewereridiculingthetimidmaid——allsandalsandsimper——offortyyearsago。Whyshouldmenandwomenhaveevertakenthetroubletobeaffected?Letusgointolunchandeatwiththeappetitesofmenandwomenofthenineties,notwiththenibblingsofsocietyofthefifties。Comealong,Phyllis。Mr。

  Courtlandwilltellusallabouthisdreadfulgoingson,hisslave-

  dealings,hisdynamitings。Haveyouseenthatarticleinthe——what\'sthenameofthepaper,Phyllis?“

  “The/SpiritualAneroid/,“saidPhyllis。

  “Ihaven\'tbeensofortunate,“saidhe。

  “Thenweshalltakethepaperintothediningroomwithus,andplaceitbeforeyou。Ifyouwereguiltyofthedoingsthatthearticledetails,youwoulddowellto——to——well,toadoptthepicturesquecostumeincidentaltoruffianism——thelinenjacketoftheslave-

  trader,themangyfurcollarofthedynamitymanofwar。Haveyouevertraffickedinhumanbeings,Mr。Courtland?“

  “Well,yes,“saidhe。“Ihavedonealittleinthatway,Iadmit。”

  “Anddynamite——haveyouevermassacredpeoplewithdynamite?“Ellacontinued。

  “Well,whenmydynamiteexploded,thepeoplewhowereintheimmediateneighborhoodwereneverjustthesameafterward,“saidhe。

  “Finally,didyouallowyourselftobeworshipedasGod?“sheasked。

  “Yes,Igotthemtodothat,“hereplied。“Ihaveexperiencedallhumansensations,includingthoseofagodinworkingorder。”

  “ThenIhopeyouwillmakeagoodlunch。Webeginwithwhite-bait。”

  “Iamquitesatisfiedtobeginwithwhite-bait,“saidhe。

  CHAPTERXIII。

  EVENTHEHOUSEOFCOMMONSDOESN\'TMATTERMUCH。

  “Ididnotintendtostayforlunch,“saidPhyllis,“butyouroverpoweringwillsweptmealongwithit,Ella。ButIhopeyouwillletmesaythatIdon\'tthinkyoushouldjestaboutwhatis——whatsomepeopleatanyratethinkveryserious。”

  “PhyllisisofPhilistia,“saidElla,“andPhilistiawasalwaysgiventoordealbychampions。Shethinkstheattackmadeuponyoubytwomissionariesintheirnewspaperorganquitedisgraceful。Itdoesn\'tseemsodisgracefulafterall。”

  “Ihaven\'tseentheattack,“saidhe。“ButIfeelittobeverygoodofMissAyrtontothinkitdisgraceful。”

  “OfcourseIthoughtitdisgraceful,“saidPhyllis,“andIcametoEllatotalkitallover。Thearticleaccusesyouofatrocities,andsaidthataquestionwouldshortlybeputtotheMinisteroftheAnnexationDepartmentintheHouseofCommons。Now,Iknowthatthereisnothingmyfatherenjoysmorethansnubbingthosedetestablemenwhoendeavortogetupareputationforphilanthropy,andtemperance,andbimetallism,andothervirtues,byputtingquestionsonthepaper;

  andhecould,Ithink,asksomecounterquestioninthisparticularcasethatwouldridiculetheoriginalbusybody。”

  “Itwasverygoodofyoutothinkso,MissAyrton,“saidhe。“Ican\'tsaythat,personally,ImindalltheattacksthatallthemissionarieswhoearnprecarioussalariesinSouthSeasmaymakeuponme;butI

  mustconfessthatIhaveaweaknessforseeingbusybodiesputtoshame。”

  “YoumaydependuponMr。Ayrton\'ssatire,“saidElla。“Itnevermissesthepointintheharness。Thebarbofthedartis,Ibelieve,Mr。

  Ayrton\'s,thefeatherattheotherendisPhyllis\'。”

  “Onlyoncethathappened,“saidPhyllis。“Oh,no!papamanufactureshisowndarts,fromfeathertotip。”

  “Butsupposingthatthechargesbroughtagainstmearetrue?“

  suggestedMr。Courtland。

  “Why,then,can\'tyouseethereisallthegreaterneedforingenuityinyourdefense?“saidElla。

  “Itisimpossibletothinkofthechargesastrue,“saidPhyllisstoutly。

  “Forexample?“saidhe。

  “Well,thearticlesaidthatyouhadmadeslavesofsomeofthenativesofNewGuinea,purchasingthembyapromisetohelpanativechiefagainsthisenemies。”

  “Therewasn\'tmuchharminthat:Ididit,“saidhe。

  “Andthenitwentontosaythatyoukeptyourpromise,“saidPhyllis。

  “What!Theyaccusedmeofkeepingmypromise?“saidhe。“Well,I\'mafraidIcan\'tdenythatchargeeither。”

  “Didyoureallyslaughterthenatives?“criedPhyllis。

  Theinterestwhichshefeltappearedinhereyes。

  “Ididmybestforthesavageswhohadpurchasedmyservices,“hereplied。“Thecampaignwasnotaprotractedone。Twodaysaftertheoutbreakofhostilitiesbroughtthingstoaclimax。Wefoughtourdecisivebattle——theSedanofKingMubamayo。Yousee,IhadatrustworthyWinchester。Ibelievethataboutseventyoftheenemybitthedust。”

  “Onlyseventy?Thatwasunworthyofyou,Mr。Courtland,“criedElla。

  “Nothingshortofthousandscountsasacivilizedbattle。Seventy!Oh,I\'mafraidyoudon\'tdoyourselfjustice。”

  “Ofcourseabattleisabattle,“saidPhyllisstoutly。“Ifyouhadn\'tkilledthemtheywouldhavekilledyou。Youwereintheright,I\'msure。”

  “I\'mnotsosureofthat,“saidhe,shakinghishead。“Totellyouthetruth,theelementsofthecrisisofHeadmanGlowabyolaweresomewhatinvolved。Theoriginaldisputewasdifficultforaforeignertounderstand——itwas,infact,theSchleswig-HolsteinquestionofKafalonga。”

  “Yousettledit,anyway,“suggestedElla。“YouweretheBismarckofwhat\'s-its-name?“

  “IdoubledthepartsofBismarckandVonMoltke,“saidhe。

  “Andthat\'swhytheyworshipedyouastheirgod?Idon\'twonderattheheatheninhisblindnessdoingthat。AnymanwhowasthesameasBismarckandVonMoltkewouldcertainlyshoulderadeityoutofhisway,“laughedElla。

  “Itsohappened,however,thatmydeificationwasdueneithertomyrecognitionasadiplomatistnorasamilitarystrategist,“saidtheexplorer。“No,theywantedsomethingbeyondthemerefightingmantoworship,andmyknowledgeofthatfactcombinedwiththeirpaeansofvictory——tothe/obbligato/ofasolidiron-wooddrumbeatenwiththethighbonesoftheconquered——tokeepmeawakeatnight。ButonemorningtheheadmancameuponmewhenIwasabouttoboilmykettletomakemyselfacupoftea。Ihadasmalllampthatburnedspirits,andhestoodbywhileIfilleditupfromthebottlethatIcarriedwithme。Hetookitforgrantedthatthespiritwaswater,andhewasgreatlyimpressedwhenhesawitflareupasIappliedalightedmatchtoit。HeaskedmeifIpossessedthepowertosetwaterinablaze,andIassuredhimthatthatwassomethingforwhichIhadlongbeencelebrated;addingthatwhenIhadhadmybreakfastImeanttowhileawayanhourortwobysettingfiretotheoceanitself。Heimploredofmetoreconsidermydecision,andwhenIhadpouredalittlespiritintothehollowofmyhandandlighteditinthepresenceofhismosteminentscientists,theysaidthattheyalsodesiredtoassociatethemselveswiththeheadman\'spetition。Iwas,however,inexorable;I

  walkeddowntothebeachandhadjuststruckamatchonthebrinkoftheoceanwhenthewholetribeprostratedthemselvesaroundme,promisingtocontinueworshipingmeifIwouldonlystaymyhand。

  Well,whatcouldIdo?Iweaklyyieldedandsparedthemultitudinousseafrombeingthemediumofwhatwouldinalllikelihoodhavebeenthegreatestconflagrationonrecord。Fromthatmoment,I\'mhappytosay,theyworshipedmeastheirsupremedeity,andI\'mboundtosaythatIbehavedassuch;Iwascertainlythemostsuperiorclassofgodtheyhadeverhad,andtheygavemeatestimonialtothiseffectincaseImighteverbelookingoutforanewsituation。”

  “Thatwashowyoumanagedtogetsuchacollectionofbirds,includingmymeteor-bird,“saidElla。“ButPhyllisofPhilistiaisshockedatthebarerecitalofsuchataleofidolatry。Areyounot,Phyllis?“

  “IthinkIamalittleshocked,“saidPhyllis。Shedidnotsaythatherfirstthoughtjustthenwasthatthefeatherfanwasnot,afterall,thepriceofblood:itwassomethingmuchworse。“Itwasanencouragementofidolatry,wasitnot,Mr。Courtland?“

  “Scarcely,“saidhe。“Onthecontrary,itwasanhonestattempttoleadthemfromtheiridolstosomethinghigherandbetter。”

  “Youaresomethinghigherandbetter,“suggestedElla。

  “Quiteso;Iamalittlelowerthantheangels,butagooddealhigherthantheawfulimagewhichtheyworshipedbeforeIturnedup,“saidhe。“ThewholetribeadmittedinthemosthonorablemannerthatIwasbyfarthebestgodtheyhadeverhad;theyhadnotanunluckydaysolongastheyworshipedme,andIretainedmyWinchesterandafullsupplyofcartridges。”

  “Thetestimonywasflattering,“saidElla。“ButstillPhyllisisshocked。”

  “Iam,“saidPhyllis。“IbelieveinGod。Mr。CourtlandbelievesinaPrinciple。”

  “Anyhow,Iledsomethousandsofsavagesfromidolatryandcannibalismtosomethinghigher,andthat\'sabetterrecordthanmostgodsofmyacquaintancecanshow。Everythingmustbedonegraduallytobedonepermanently。Nothingcouldbemoreabsurdthanthe/modusoperandi/ofyourmissionary。MostofthemhavegotridoftheirChristianitytomakewayfortheirtheology。Theyendeavortoinculcateuponthenativesthemostsubtlepointsoftheirtheologicalsystem,immediatelyaftertheyhavepreachedagainstthewickednessofeconomyinthematterofclothing。”

  “Alargemissionaryworkmightbedoneamonghusbandsathome,“

  saidElla。“Butwhataboutthedynamite,thatisthechargewhichstillhandsoveryou——achargeofdynamite?“

  “Thatwasmyworsthour,“saidCourtland。“IhadgoneuptheFlyRiverinmysteamlaunchtoapointneverpreviouslyreachedbyaEuropean。

  Iwasfortunateenoughtogetsomespecimensthathadneverbeenseenbefore,andIwasreturningtothecoast。MyengineerandIwerecapturedwhenashoreonenightgettingfuelforourfurnace。Theytookusintotheforestalongway,bindingourhandswiththefiberofoneofthecreepers,andIhadnotroublewhatevergatheringthatitwastheirintentiontomakeafeastofus——asortofhightea,itwastobe,fortheybeganbrewingtheherbswhichIknewtheyusedonlywhentheywerecannibalizing。Wewerecourteouslypermittedtowatchthesepreparations,foritwasrightlyassumedthattheywouldbeinsomedegreeinterestingtous。Wewere,indeed,greatlyinterestedinallwesaw,butmuchmoresowhen,towardevening,anumberofthenativesarrivedonthescenecarryingwiththemsomeofthestoreswhichtheyhadfoundaboardthesteamlaunch。Theybrokeopenwithastonehatchetsometinsofpreservedmeat,andseemedtoenjoythecontentsgreatly。Thebiscuitstheydidn\'tcareformuch,andthecakesofsoapwhichtheybegantoeatcouldnothonestlybesaidtobeanentiresuccessascomestibles。Butwhilewewatchedthematthese/horsd\'oeuvres/tothebanquetatwhichwewereexpectedtotakeaprominentpart,astragglercameupwithsomereservesupplies;Isawthem;tinsofdynamite——wecarrieddynamiteforblowingupthesnagsthatobstructedthenarrowerreachesoftheriver。Wewatchedthethievescrowdaroundthebearerofthetins,andwesawthatthegeneralimpressionthatprevailedinregardtothemwasthattheyhadcomeuponsomeofthemosthighlyconcentratedbeeftheyhadeverhadintheirhands。Whentheylaidthetinsamongthehotashesoftheirfiresandbegantobreakthemopenwiththeirstonehatchets,myengineerthoughtwithmethatalltheinteresttherewouldbeinthesubsequentproceedingscouldnotpossiblycompensateusforthewasteofprecioustimewhichwouldbeentailedbyourremaining。Weboltedinspiteofourfetteredhands,butbeforewehadgotmorethanacoupleofhundredyardsfromthecamp,theretookplacetheseverestearthquake,coincidentalwithathunderstormandthesaluteofabatteryofathousandheavyguns。Wewerewhirledintotheairlikefeathersinabreeze,butmanagedtocling——ourbondsbeingbroken——tosomeoftheboughsamongwhichwefoundourselves。Shortlyafterward,aquarterofanhourorso,therecameontheheaviestshowerIhadeverexperienced。Suchadownpourofbranchesoftrees,gnarledroots,brokenfruits,birds\'feathers,mutilatedapesofmanyspecies,and——

  well,anatomicalspecimens!Itwentonandonuntiltheboughsaroundusweremadeintosplintersandwewerebeatentothegroundwiththeforceofthosemissiles,allthedenseforestaroundusechoingtotheshrieksoftheloriesandparrots,themonkeysandthewildcats。”

  “Andnowthemissionaries,“saidElla,afterapause。

  “Andwhathappenedafterthat?“whisperedPhyllis。

  Heshookhishead。

  “Afterthatwecameaway,“hesaid。“Wecouldn\'tseethattherewasanyneedforustostayloafingabouttheforestwhenwehadourbusinesstomindinanotherdirection。Ittookustwodays,however,findingourlaunch。”

  “Andthatiswhatthemissionariescallyourdynamiteoutrageagainstthenatives?“saidElla。

  “Soitwouldseem,“saidhe。“Isupposetheymanagedtogetsomeaccountofthebusiness;onecan\'thushupadynamiteoutrageevenintheinteriorofNewGuinea。”

  “Butwhatagrossmisrepresentationoffactsitwastosaythatyouhadmassacredthenatives,“criedPhyllisindignantly。

  Helaughedwithashrug。

  “Oh,wemustalllive,“hesaid。

  “Unlessthosewhotreattinsofdynamiteasthoughtheyweretinsofbrawn,“saidElla。ThenturningtoPhyllisshesmiled。

  Phyllishadnodifficultyinterpretingthesmile。

  “Yes,“shesaid,“youropinionwasquitecorrect:Mr。Courtlanddoesn\'tcarewhatpeoplesay,anditdoesn\'tmatterintheleastwhattheydosay,orwhatfalsehoodsarespreadabroad。”

  “Notinthesmallestdegree,“saidElla。“HerbertCourtlandisstillHerbertCourtland。”

  “ButsofarasIcangather,“saidMr。Courtland,“allthatthemissionariessaidofmewassubstantiallycorrect。”

  “Readthepaperandyouwillseehowdetestablyfalseallthechargesare,“criedPhyllis,rising,——theservantshadnowlefttheroom,——andpickingupthe/SpiritualAneroid/fromwhereEllahadlaiditonachair。

  HerbertCourtlandhadnotyetopenedit。Hetookitfromher,saying:

  “Thankyou,MissAyrton。ButIreallydon\'tseethatitconcernsmeverymuchwhetherornotthechargesbroughtagainstmearetrueorfalse。Thematteriscertainlyoneforthe——the——ah——/SpiritualAneroid/anditsspecial/clientele/。”

  “ButaquestionistobeaskedaboutitintheHouseofCommons。I

  saidsojustnow,“criedPhyllis。

  “AndeventheHouseofCommonsdoesn\'tmattermuch,“saidElla。

  “Thatiswhatpapathought,“saidPhyllismeekly。“OnlyIknowthatifMr。Courtlandthoughtitworthnoticing,papawouldbequitepleasedtoputacounterquestion。ThatiswhyIcamehereto-day。”

  “Itwassogoodofyou,“saidtheman。

  “MyPhyllisisallthatisgood。Letusreturntothedrawingroom,“

  saidElla,rising。

  Theyreturnedtothedrawingroom;butwhentheyhadbeenintheapartmentforperhapsfourminutes,certainlynotfive,PhyllissaiditwasnecessaryforhertohurryhomeinorderthattheafternoonlettersshouldbesenttoherfatherattheHouse。

  Withanotherwordofappreciationofherkindness,Mr。Courtlandheldherhandasecondlongerthanwasabsolutelynecessarytomaintainacharacterforcivility。

  “Sheisthemostcharminggirlintheworld,“remarkedEllatothevisitor,whoremainedwhenPhyllishadleft。

  “Isshe?“saidhe。

  “Iknowit。Don\'tyou?“askedshe。

  “HowdoIknow?“hesaid。“Ihavethoughtnothingaboutit。Ifyousaysheischarming,Iampleasedtohearit。Itmattersnomoretomethattheworldisfullofcharminggirlsthanthatthekrakenisstillatthebottomofthesea。Onewomanfillsallmythoughts。Myheartisfullofher。”

  “Andyouwanthertoriskthesalvationofhersoulforyou?“

  “Yes;thatisjustwhatIwant。”

  Heremainedwithherforanotherhour。

  CHAPTERXIV。

  THEHONORABLEMEMBERISCLEARLYOUTOFORDER。

  Mr。Ayrtonmethisdaughterthenextmorningwiththegoodnewsthathehadfoundamonghisspecimencasesofphrases,onethatwouldeffectuallysilencethememberfromWaleswhohadbeennominatedbytheNonconformistEasternMissionarySocietytoputthatquestiontotheministeroftheAnnexationDepartmentonthesubjectofMr。

  Courtland,theexplorer。Mr。Ayrtonwasthebetterpleasedathisdiscovery,becauseoftheinoffensivenatureofthephrasewhichhehadtakenoutofitscase,sotospeak。Asarule,hedidnotmindbeingoffensiveifonlyhisphrasewasapt。Onlypeoplewhohadnoartisticappreciationfoundfaultwiththetoneofsomeofhismostnotablephrases。Hedidnotmindwhethertheywerejustorunjust,theysaid。Asifamancanbebothhonestandwittyatthesametime!

  Itsohappened,however,thatthepartytowhichMr。Ayrtonbelongedhadbecomegreatlyconcernedinrespectofanelementthathadjustcometothesurfacetostillfurthercomplicatethecourseofpolitics。ThiswastheNonconformistConscience——hithertoa/quantitenegligeable/inthecalculationsoftheleaders,butnowonethatitappearedabsolutelynecessarytotakeintoaccountasafactor。Tobesure,therewereagoodmanypeoplewhoputtheirtonguesintheircheekswhenanymentionwasmadeoftheNonconformistConscience:theysaiditwasnomoretobetakenseriouslythantheSpectorontheBrockenortheAthanasianCreed。Itwasonlythetrickofanelectioneeringagentdesirousofescapingfromanuntenableposition。

  Therewereotherpersons,howevermostlyNonconformists,whowerefoundreadytodeclarethattheNonconformistConsciencewasaGreatandLivingTruth。Theonlypointuponwhichstatesmenofallpartieswereagreedwasthatitwasworthpurchasing。TheNonconformiststhemselves,uponwhomtheGreatandLivingTruthwassprung,hadnonotionatfirstthatitcouldbeturnedintoanegotiablesecurityoccupyingashighaplaceinthemarketas,say,Argentinebonds。Butitdidnottakethemverylongtofindoutthatevenanabstractionsuchasthiscouldbeturnedtogoodaccountbydiscreetmaneuvering。

  Truthsometimesisheardonanelectionplatform,andyettruthisbutanabstractquality。Why,thenshouldnotaGreatandLivingTruthbecomearegulargoldminetoitsinventor?Itwasasgreataninventionastheartofelectroplating,whichitcloselyresembled,andaquiteasnicethingcouldbemadeoutofitbyalittledexterousmanipulation。Iftheconscienceissilver,theNonconformistConscienceisatleastelectroplateofafirst-classquality,itwasargued;andapoliticalmanifesto,whichwaspracticallyafinancialprospectus,wasissuedwithaviewoffloatingtheNonconformistConscienceCompany,Limited。

  Englishpoliticscannotbyanypossibilityberegardedasanexactscience;andthusitwasthatallpoliticalpartieswereatthistimemakingbidsforsharesintheenterprise。Theleadersofoneparty,infact,expressedthemselvesreadytobuyupthewholeconcern,andtheyactuallytenderedbillspayableattwelvemonthsforallthevendors\'

  interest,anditwasonlywhenthesebillsbecamedueandwerereturneddishonoredthattheshadowycharacterofthetransactionwasmadeplain,andthecountrywasconvulsedatthedisclosureofthefactthatthevendorshaddisposedofaperfectlyworthlessinvention,andthatthepurchasershadpaidforitbypromisesthatwereequallyworthless。

  Allthishappenedlater,however;whenthefusswasmadeabouttheatrocitiesbyanexplorerinNewGuinea,andMr。Ayrtonwascontemplatingacounterquestionthatshouldcastridiculeuponthemissionariesandtheirchampion,hewasgiventounderstandbytheleadersofhisparty,who,itwasbelieved,hadasmallparcelofbaronetciesdoneupinofficialtwine,withblankspacesforthenameandaddressineach,awaitingdistributionatthefirstchangeofGovernment,thathemusttakenostepthatmightjeopardizetherelationsofthepartywiththevendorsoftheNonconformistsConscience。The/SpiritualAneroid/wastheleadingNonconformistorgan,anditwouldnotdotosneeratthemissionarieswhomitsupported。Itwouldbebetterthatalltheexplorerswhohadeverriskedtheirlivesonbehalfofcivilizationshouldgobytheboardthanthatasinglevoteshouldbelosttotheparty,hewasassuredbytheSeniorWhip。

  Thiswasratherirritatingtotheartistinphrases;becauseitstoodtoreasonthatthemajorityofhisphraseswerecalculatedtobehurtfultohisopponents。Hewasthusquiteelatedwhenhecameuponsomethingwhichwould,hefeltsure,callcommentinthepressattheexpenseofthememberfromWaleswithoutcastinganyslightuponNonconformistMissionaryenterprise。

  Hereadoutthethingtohisdaughter,andhewassurprisedtofindthatshewasnotappreciativeofitsuniquecharm。Thiswasrathertoobad,hefelt,consideringthatitwasshewhohadenlistedhisservicesinthisparticularmatter。

  “Idon\'tthinkMr。CourtlandwantsanybodytotakehispartinParliamentoroutofit,“saidshe。“Andthat\'swhyIthinkitwouldbebettertoletthatMr。Apthomasaskhisquestionwithoutinterruption。WhatcantheMinisterofAnnexationsayexceptthathehasnoinformationonthesubject,andthatifhehadhecouldnotinterfere,ashehadnojurisdictionontheFlyRiver?“

  “Thatiswhathewillreplyasamatterofcourse,“saidherfather。

  “ButthatwillnotpreventthenewspapersthatareonthesideofWalesandthemissionariesfromsayingwhattheypleaseinthewayofcommentontheatrocitiesinNewGuinea。”

  “Mr。Courtlandwillnotmindwhatevertheymaysay,“criedPhyllis。

  “ThatwastheviewItookofthematterinregardtoMr。Courtland\'sattitudewhenyoumentionedittomeatfirst,“saidhe。“Ididn\'tsupposethathewasthemantobebrokendownbecausesomefoolishpaperattackshim;butyouwereemphaticinyourdenunciationoftheinjusticethatwouldbeliabletobedoneif——“

  “Oh,IhadonlyspokenforabouthalfanhourtoMr。Courtlandthen,“

  saidPhyllis。“IthinkIknowhimbetternow。”

  “Yes,youhavespokenwithhimforanotherhalfhour;youthereforeknowhimtwiceaswellasyoudid,“remarkedherfather。“Iwonderifheadmittedtoyouhavingdoneallthathewasaccusedofdoing。”

  HesawinamomentfromthelittleuneasymovementofhereyesthathehadmadeanexcellentguessatthegeneralresultoftheconversationatMrs。Linton\'slittlelunch。HehadnotyetsucceededinobtaininganydetailsfromhisdaughterregardinghervisittoElla。ShehadmerelytoldhimthatEllahadkepthertolunch,andthatMr。

  Courtlandhadbeentherealso。

  “Yes。Idobelievethatheadmittedeverything,“hecontinued,withalaughashethoughthowcleverhewas。Hehadfrequentreasonsforlaughingthatlaugh。

  “No,“saidPhyllisdoubtfully;“hedidnotadmiteverything。”

  “Therewassomereservation?PerhapsitwasmelinitethatheemployedforthemassacreoftheinnocentsofNewGuinea,notdynamite。”

  “No;itwasdynamite。Butthenativeshadstolenitfromhissteamlaunchandtheyexplodeditthemselves。”

  Mr。Ayrtonlaybackinhischairconvulsedwithlaughter。

  “Andthatisthetruestoryofthedynamitemassacre?“hecried。“Thatishowitcomesthat,inthewordsofthe/Aneroid/,theworksofevangelizationonNonconformistprinciplesislikelytoberetardedforsometime?Themissionariesarequiterighttoo。Andwhatabouthismiracles——theysuggestedamiracle,didn\'tthey?“

  “Oh,thatwassomefoolishnessaboutsettingspiritsofwineonfire,“

  saidPhyllis。“Thenativesthoughtthatitwaswater,youknow。”

  Mr。Ayrtonlaughedmoreheartilythanbefore。

  “Thatisthecrowninginfamy,“hecried。“MydearPhyllis,itwouldbequiteimpossibletoallowsodeliciousaseriesofmissionarymuddlestopassunnoticed。IthinkIseemywayclearlyinthematter。”

  Sheknewthathedid。Sheknewthatheregardedmostincidentsinthepoliticalworldmerelyasfeederstohisphrase-makingcapacity。SheknewthatitwouldbeimpossibletorepresshimnowinthematterofCourtlandandthemissionaries;shefullyrealizedthefeelingsofFrankenstein。

  Onlytheweakestprotestdidshemakeagainstherfather\'sintendedaction;andthuswhenthedaycameforMr。Apthomas\'question,thatgentlemanfromWalesinquired,“IfHerMajesty\'sMinisterforAnnexationscouldgivetheHouseanyinformationregardingtheso-

  calledexplorationsofMr。HerbertCourtlandintheislandofNewGuinea,particularlyinrespectofamassacreofnativesbydynamiteintheregionoftheFlyRiver;andifitwastruethatthegentlemanjustnamedhadpermittedhimselftobeworshipedasagodbytheaboriginesofanotherregion;andifHerMajesty\'sMinisterforDomesticAffairswaspreparedtosaythatitwaslegalforoneofHerMajesty\'ssubjectstoassumetheprivilegesandfunctionsofagod,andiftheFirstLordoftheTreasurywaspreparedtocommunicatetotheHousewhatcourse,ifany,HerMajesty\'sgovernmentmeanttoadoptwithaviewtothepreventionofsimilaroutragesinthesameregioninthefuture?“

  Mr。AyrtonrosebeforetheMinisteroftheAnnexationDepartmenthadquiteconcludedhisyawn,andsaidhetrustedthathewasinordercriesof“Yes,yes,“fromthosememberswhoknewthatthehonorablememberhadanenliveningphrasewhichhewantedtogetridofininquiring,inconnectionwiththesamesubject,iftherighthonorablegentlemancouldinformtheHouseiftherewasanytruthinthereportcurrentinfinancialandothercirclesthattheobjectoftheexplorationsofMr。HerbertCourtlandwasthediscoveryofasmallmammaloftheporcinetribe,andifoneoftheLawOfficersoftheCrownwaspreparedtoassuretheHousethatitwouldbecontrarytotheprovisionsoftheCompaniesAct,andtheCompaniesActAmendmentAct,topermitthisNewGuineapigtoassumethefunctionsofthedirectorofLimitedLiabilityCompanies,whosedirectoratewaslargelycomposedofmembersofbothHousesofParliamentgreatlaughterfromhonorablegentlemenwhowereawarethattheMr。Apthomashadnoincomebeyondtheremunerationhereceivedasadirectorofcompanies;andifHerMajesty\'sMinisterforAgriculturewaspreparedtostatethatitwastheintentionofHerMajesty\'sGovernmenttoprohibittheintroductionof,atanyratethemalesofthemammalsjustreferredto,consideringtherapidincreaseinrepresentativeassembliesoftheEnglishorWelshbore——Greatlaughter,whichpreventedtheconcludingwordsofthesentencebeingaudibleinthegallery。

  THESPEAKER:Order!order!ThehonorablememberforHazelboroughmustconfinehimselfstrictlytotheissuedraisedbythehonorablegentlemanfromWales。ThehonorablememberforHazelboroughisonlypermittedtofollowthehonorablegentlemanfromWalesbytheindulgenceoftheHouse。

  MR。AYRTON:Sir,Ibowtotherulingofthechair,andwillcontinuebyinquiringifHerMajesty\'sMinisterforthePublicWorshipDepartmentcanstatetotheHouseifitistruethatanewspaperpublishedwithinthePrincipalityofWalesrecentlymadetheannouncementthatthehonorablememberwhohadjustmadeinquiriesregardingtheexplorationofMr。HerbertCourtland,wastheidolofhisconstituents[Laughter,andcriesof“Order!“],andiftherighthonorablegentlemanispreparedtostatethattheprovisionsoftheIdolatryActare——

  THESPEAKER:Thehonorablememberisclearlyoutoforder。ThequestionofidolatryinWalesisnotatpresentbeforetheHouse。

  MR。AYRTON:Sir,IgivenoticethatnextsessionIshallmovearesolutionregardingidolatryinthePrincipalityofWales[Laughterandcheers。]

  TheministerforAnnexationwasabouttorisewhenMR。MUDLARKYBallynamuckaskediftheintroductionoftheguineapigswouldbeprejudicialtotheinterestsofthehigherandnoblerIrishanimalwho,hewouldremindtheMinisterforPublicWorship,wasnottobeconfoundedwiththeherdwhoseexamplewasclearlyemulatedbythepresentgovernmentinseekingself-destructionbyrunningdownasteepplaceintothesea。Criesof“Order,order!“Iftherewasanydoubtbefore,thehonorablemembercontinued,astotheinfluencewhichwasatworkinthatGadareneherd,whichassumedthefunctionsofHerMajesty\'sgovernment,thesoundsthatnowcamefromtheTreasuryBencheswouldconvinceeventhemostskepticalthatsacredhistoryissometimesrepeatedbyprofane,buthecouldnotcomplimentthedevils,whohadthebadtasteto——SeveralhonorablemembershereroseamidthecheersoftheIrishMembers,andasceneofconfusiontookplace。

  THESPEAKER[sternly]:Order,Order!ThehonorablememberfromBallynamuckmustresumehisseat。Heisoutoforder。ThequestionbeforetheHouseisnotthegoodtasteofdemoniacvisitants。Icallupontherighthonorablegentleman,theMinisterfortheDepartmentofAnnexation。

  MR。McCULLUMBlairpukeyBurghs:Mr。Speaker,onemoment。Tosavetime,willtherighthonorablegentlemansayiftheHighlandCrofters,whoselandwasstolenfromtheminorderthatthemembersoftheUpperHouse——

  THESPEAKER:Order!TheMinisterfortheDepartmentofAnnexation。

  MR。BLISTERBattersea,Mid:Mr。Speaker,thoughIdon\'tdoanyworkmyself,I\'mtherepresentativeoflabor,onlythosecontemptibleskunks,theworkingmen,don\'tseethattheyhaveamanforaleader——aman,that\'sme——that\'sJoeBlister。AndastheUpperHousehasbeenintroduced,I\'llrun,eat,orswearwiththebestofthatlotoftap-

  roomloafers;I\'lldoanythingbutfightthem——except,ofcourse,onalaborplatform,andif——

  THESPEAKER:Thehonorablememberisoutoforder。TheMinisterfortheDepartmentofAnnexations。

  THEMINISTERFORANNEXATIONS:No,sir;Ihavenoinformation[Cheersandlaughter。]

  TheHousethenwentintoCommitteeofSupply。

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