第6章
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  Whenshesighedsheexhaledaheavyperfumeofsachetpowder。

  Todance`Home,SweetHome,\'withLenawaslikecominginwiththetide。

  Shedancedeverydancelikeawaltz,anditwasalwaysthesamewaltz——

  thewaltzofcominghometosomething,ofinevitable,fatedreturn。

  Afterawhileonegotrestlessunderit,asonedoesundertheheatofasoft,sultrysummerday。

  WhenyouspunoutintothefloorwithTony,youdidn\'treturntoanything。Yousetouteverytimeuponanewadventure。

  Ilikedtoschottischewithher;shehadsomuchspringandvariety,andwasalwaysputtinginnewstepsandslides。

  Shetaughtmetodanceagainstandaroundthehard-and-fastbeatofthemusic。If,insteadofgoingtotheendoftherailroad,oldMr。ShimerdahadstayedinNewYorkandpickedupalivingwithhisfiddle,howdifferentAntonia\'slifemighthavebeen!

  AntoniaoftenwenttothedanceswithLarryDonovan,apassengerconductorwhowasakindofprofessionalladies\'man,aswesaid。

  Irememberhowadmiringlyalltheboyslookedatherthenightshefirstworehervelveteendress,madelikeMrs。Gardener\'sblackvelvet。Shewaslovelytosee,withhereyesshining,andherlipsalwaysalittlepartedwhenshedanced。

  Thatconstant,darkcolourinhercheeksneverchanged。

  OneeveningwhenDonovanwasoutonhisrun,AntoniacametothehallwithNorwegianAnnaandheryoungman,andthatnightItookherhome。

  WhenwewereintheCutters\'yard,shelteredbytheevergreens,Itoldhershemustkissmegoodnight。

  `Why,sure,Jim。\'Amomentlatershedrewherfaceawayandwhisperedindignantly,`Why,Jim!Youknowyouain\'trighttokissmelikethat。

  I\'lltellyourgrandmotheronyou!\'

  `LenaLingardletsmekissher,\'Iretorted,`andI\'mnothalfasfondofherasIamofyou。\'

  `Lenadoes?\'Tonygasped。`Ifshe\'suptoanyofhernonsensewithyou,I\'llscratchhereyesout!\'Shetookmyarmagainandwewalkedoutofthegateandupanddownthesidewalk。

  `Now,don\'tyougoandbeafoollikesomeofthesetownboys。

  You\'renotgoingtositaroundhereandwhittlestore-boxesandtellstoriesallyourlife。Youaregoingawaytoschoolandmakesomethingofyourself。I\'mjustawfulproudofyou。

  Youwon\'tgoandgetmixedupwiththeSwedes,willyou?\'

  `Idon\'tcareanythingaboutanyofthembutyou,\'Isaid。

  `Andyou\'llalwaystreatmelikeakid,suppose。\'

  Shelaughedandthrewherarmsaroundme。`IexpectIwill,butyou\'reakidI\'mawfulfondof,anyhow!Youcanlikemeallyouwantto,butifIseeyouhangingroundwithLenamuch,I\'llgotoyourgrandmother,assureasyourname\'sJimBurden!

  Lena\'sallright,only——well,youknowyourselfshe\'ssoftthatway。

  Shecan\'thelpit。It\'snaturaltoher。\'

  Ifshewasproudofme,IwassoproudofherthatIcarriedmyheadhighasIemergedfromthedarkcedarsandshuttheCutters\'gatesoftlybehindme。Herwarm,sweetface,herkindarms,andthetrueheartinher;shewas,oh,shewasstillmyAntonia!Ilookedwithcontemptatthedark,silentlittlehousesaboutmeasIwalkedhome,andthoughtofthestupidyoungmenwhowereasleepinsomeofthem。

  Iknewwheretherealwomenwere,thoughIwasonlyaboy;

  andIwouldnotbeafraidofthem,either!

  IhatedtoenterthestillhousewhenIwenthomefromthedances,anditwaslongbeforeIcouldgettosleep。

  TowardmorningIusedtohavepleasantdreams:sometimesTonyandIwereoutinthecountry,slidingdownstraw-stacksasweusedtodo;climbinguptheyellowmountainsoverandover,andslippingdownthesmoothsidesintosoftpilesofchaff。

  OnedreamIdreamedagreatmanytimes,anditwasalwaysthesame。

  Iwasinaharvest-fieldfullofshocks,andIwaslyingagainstoneofthem。

  LenaLingardcameacrossthestubblebarefoot,inashortskirt,withacurvedreaping-hookinherhand,andshewasflushedlikethedawn,withakindofluminousrosinessallabouther。Shesatdownbesideme,turnedtomewithasoftsighandsaid,`Nowtheyareallgone,andI

  cankissyouasmuchasIlike。\'

  IusedtowishIcouldhavethisflatteringdreamaboutAntonia,butIneverdid。

  XIII

  INOTICEDONEAFTERNOONthatgrandmotherhadbeencrying。

  Herfeetseemedtodragasshemovedaboutthehouse,andI

  gotupfromthetablewhereIwasstudyingandwenttoher,askingifshedidn\'tfeelwell,andifIcouldn\'thelpherwithherwork。

  `No,thankyou,Jim。I\'mtroubled,butIguessI\'mwellenough。

  Gettingalittlerustyinthebones,maybe,\'sheaddedbitterly。

  Istoodhesitating。`Whatareyoufrettingabout,grandmother?

  Hasgrandfatherlostanymoney?\'

  `No,itain\'tmoney。Iwishitwas。ButI\'veheardthings。

  Youmust\'a\'knownitwouldcomebacktomesometime。\'

  Shedroppedintoachair,and,coveringherfacewithherapron,begantocry。`Jim,\'shesaid,`Iwasneveronethatclaimedoldfolkscouldbringuptheirgrandchildren。

  Butitcameaboutso;therewasn\'tanyotherwayforyou,itseemedlike。\'

  Iputmyarmsaroundher。Icouldn\'tbeartoseehercry。

  `Whatisit,grandmother?IsittheFiremen\'sdances?\'

  Shenodded。

  `I\'msorryIsneakedofflikethat。Butthere\'snothingwrongaboutthedances,andIhaven\'tdoneanythingwrong。

  Ilikeallthosecountrygirls,andIliketodancewiththem。

  That\'sallthereistoit。\'

  `Butitain\'trighttodeceiveus,son,anditbringsblameonus。

  Peoplesayyouaregrowinguptobeabadboy,andthatain\'tjusttous。\'

  `Idon\'tcarewhattheysayaboutme,butifithurtsyou,thatsettlesit。

  Iwon\'tgototheFiremen\'sHallagain。\'

  Ikeptmypromise,ofcourse,butIfoundthespringmonthsdullenough。

  Isatathomewiththeoldpeopleintheeveningsnow,readingLatinthatwasnotinourhigh-schoolcourse。Ihadmadeupmymindtodoalotofcollegerequirementworkinthesummer,andtoenterthefreshmanclassattheuniversitywithoutconditionsinthefall。

  Iwantedtogetawayassoonaspossible。

  Disapprobationhurtme,Ifound——eventhatofpeoplewhomIdidnotadmire。

  Asthespringcameon,Igrewmoreandmorelonely,andfellbackonthetelegrapherandthecigar-makerandhiscanariesforcompanionship。

  IrememberItookamelancholypleasureinhangingaMay-basketforNinaHarlingthatspring。IboughttheflowersfromanoldGermanwomanwhoalwayshadmorewindowplantsthananyoneelse,andspentanafternoontrimmingalittleworkbasket。Whenduskcameon,andthenewmoonhunginthesky,IwentquietlytotheHarlings\'frontdoorwithmyoffering,rangthebell,andthenranawayaswasthecustom。

  ThroughthewillowhedgeIcouldhearNina\'scriesofdelight,andIfeltcomforted。

  Onthosewarm,softspringeveningsIoftenlingereddowntowntowalkhomewithFrances,andtalkedtoheraboutmyplansandaboutthereadingIwasdoing。OneeveningshesaidshethoughtMrs。Harlingwasnotseriouslyoffendedwithme。

  `Mamaisasbroad-mindedasmotherseverare,Iguess。

  ButyouknowshewashurtaboutAntonia,andshecan\'tunderstandwhyyouliketobewithTinyandLenabetterthanwiththegirlsofyourownset。\'

  `Canyou?\'Iaskedbluntly。

  Franceslaughed。`Yes,IthinkIcan。Youknewtheminthecountry,andyouliketotakesides。Insomewaysyou\'reolderthanboysofyourage。

  Itwillbeallrightwithmamaafteryoupassyourcollegeexaminationsandsheseesyou\'reinearnest。\'

  `Ifyouwereaboy,\'Ipersisted,`youwouldn\'tbelongtotheOwlClub,either。You\'dbejustlikeme。\'

  Sheshookherhead。`IwouldandIwouldn\'t。IexpectIknowthecountrygirlsbetterthanyoudo。Youalwaysputakindofglamouroverthem。Thetroublewithyou,Jim,isthatyou\'reromantic。Mama\'sgoingtoyourCommencement。SheaskedmetheotherdayifIknewwhatyourorationistobeabout。

  Shewantsyoutodowell。\'

  Ithoughtmyorationverygood。ItstatedwithfervouragreatmanythingsIhadlatelydiscovered。Mrs。HarlingcametotheOperaHousetoheartheCommencementexercises,andIlookedathermostofthetimewhileImademyspeech。

  Herkeen,intelligenteyesneverleftmyface。

  Afterwardshecamebacktothedressing-roomwherewestood,withourdiplomasinourhands,walkeduptome,andsaidheartily:

  `Yousurprisedme,Jim。Ididn\'tbelieveyoucoulddoaswellasthat。Youdidn\'tgetthatspeechoutofbooks。\'

  AmongmygraduationpresentstherewasasilkumbrellafromMrs。Harling,withmynameonthehandle。

  IwalkedhomefromtheOperaHousealone。AsIpassedtheMethodistChurch,Isawthreewhitefiguresaheadofme,pacingupanddownunderthearchingmapletrees,wherethemoonlightfilteredthroughthelushJunefoliage。

  Theyhurriedtowardme;theywerewaitingforme——LenaandTonyandAnnaHansen。

  `Oh,Jim,itwassplendid!\'Tonywasbreathinghard,asshealwaysdidwhenherfeelingsoutranherlanguage。

  `Thereain\'talawyerinBlackHawkcouldmakeaspeechlikethat。Ijuststoppedyourgrandpaandsaidsotohim。

  Hewon\'ttellyou,buthetoldushewasawfulsurprisedhimself,didn\'the,girls?\'

  Lenasidleduptomeandsaidteasingly,`Whatmadeyousosolemn?

  Ithoughtyouwerescared。Iwassureyou\'dforget。\'

  Annaspokewistfully。

  `Itmustmakeyouveryhappy,Jim,tohavefinethoughtslikethatinyourmindallthetime,andtohavewordstoputthemin。

  Ialwayswantedtogotoschool,youknow。\'

  `Oh,Ijustsatthereandwishedmypapacouldhearyou!Jim\'——Antoniatookholdofmycoatlapels——\'therewassomethinginyourspeechthatmademethinksoaboutmypapa!\'

  `IthoughtaboutyourpapawhenIwrotemyspeech,Tony,\'Isaid。

  `Idedicatedittohim。\'

  Shethrewherarmsaroundme,andherdearfacewasallwetwithtears。

  Istoodwatchingtheirwhitedressesglimmersmallerandsmallerdownthesidewalkastheywentaway。Ihavehadnoothersuccessthatpulledatmyheartstringslikethatone。

  XIV

  THEDAYAFTERCOMMENCEMENTImovedmybooksanddeskupstairs,toanemptyroomwhereIshouldbeundisturbed,andIfelltostudyinginearnest。

  Iworkedoffayear\'strigonometrythatsummer,andbeganVirgilalone。

  MorningaftermorningIusedtopaceupanddownmysunnylittleroom,lookingoffatthedistantriverbluffsandtherolloftheblondpasturesbetween,scanningthe`Aeneid\'aloudandcommittinglongpassagestomemory。SometimesintheeveningMrs。HarlingcalledtomeasIpassedhergate,andaskedmetocomeinandletherplayforme。

  ShewaslonelyforCharley,shesaid,andlikedtohaveaboyabout。

  Whenevermygrandparentshadmisgivings,andbegantowonderwhetherIwasnottooyoungtogoofftocollegealone,Mrs。Harlingtookupmycausevigorously。GrandfatherhadsuchrespectforherjudgmentthatIknewhewouldnotgoagainsther。

  Ihadonlyoneholidaythatsummer。ItwasinJuly。

  ImetAntoniadowntownonSaturdayafternoon,andlearnedthatsheandTinyandLenaweregoingtotherivernextdaywithAnnaHansen——theelderwasallinbloomnow,andAnnawantedtomakeelderblowwine。

  `Anna\'stodriveusdownintheMarshalls\'deliverywagon,andwe\'lltakeanicelunchandhaveapicnic。Justus;nobodyelse。

  Couldn\'tyouhappenalong,Jim?Itwouldbelikeoldtimes。\'

  Iconsideredamoment。`MaybeIcan,ifIwon\'tbeintheway。\'

  OnSundaymorningIroseearlyandgotoutofBlackHawkwhilethedewwasstillheavyonthelongmeadowgrasses。

  Itwasthehighseasonforsummerflowers。

  Thepinkbee-bushstoodtallalongthesandyroadsides,andthecone-flowersandrosemallowgreweverywhere。

  Acrossthewirefence,inthelonggrass,Isawaclumpofflamingorange-colouredmilkweed,rareinthatpartofthestate。

  Ilefttheroadandwentaroundthroughastretchofpasturethatwasalwayscroppedshortinsummer,wherethegaillardiacameupyearafteryearandmattedoverthegroundwiththedeep,velvetyredthatisinBokharacarpets。ThecountrywasemptyandsolitaryexceptforthelarksthatSundaymorning,anditseemedtoliftitselfuptomeandtocomeveryclose。

  Theriverwasrunningstrongformidsummer;heavyrainstothewestofushadkeptitfull。Icrossedthebridgeandwentupstreamalongthewoodedshoretoapleasantdressing-roomIknewamongthedogwoodbushes,allovergrownwithwildgrapevines。Ibegantoundressforaswim。

  Thegirlswouldnotbealongyet。ForthefirsttimeitoccurredtomethatIshouldbehomesickforthatriverafterIleftit。

  Thesandbars,withtheircleanwhitebeachesandtheirlittlegrovesofwillowsandcottonwoodseedlings,wereasortofNoMan\'sLand,littlenewlycreatedworldsthatbelongedtotheBlackHawkboys。

  CharleyHarlingandIhadhuntedthroughthesewoods,fishedfromthefallenlogs,untilIkneweveryinchoftherivershoresandhadafriendlyfeelingforeverybarandshallow。

  Aftermyswim,whileIwasplayingaboutindolentlyinthewater,Iheardthesoundofhoofsandwheelsonthebridge。

  Istruckdownstreamandshouted,astheopenspringwagoncameintoviewonthemiddlespan。Theystoppedthehorse,andthetwogirlsinthebottomofthecartstoodup,steadyingthemselvesbytheshouldersofthetwoinfront,sothattheycouldseemebetter。Theywerecharmingupthere,huddledtogetherinthecartandpeeringdownatmelikecuriousdeerwhentheycomeoutofthethickettodrink。

  Ifoundbottomnearthebridgeandstoodup,wavingtothem。

  `Howprettyyoulook!\'Icalled。

  `Sodoyou!\'theyshoutedaltogether,andbrokeintopealsoflaughter。

  AnnaHansenshookthereinsandtheydroveon,whileIzigzaggedbacktomyinletandclamberedupbehindanoverhangingelm。

  Idriedmyselfinthesun,anddressedslowly,reluctanttoleavethatgreenenclosurewherethesunlightflickeredsobrightthroughthegrapevineleavesandthewoodpeckerhammeredawayinthecrookedelmthattrailedoutoverthewater。

  AsIwentalongtheroadbacktothebridge,Ikeptpickingofflittlepiecesofscalychalkfromthedriedwatergullies,andbreakingthemupinmyhands。

  WhenIcameupontheMarshalls\'deliveryhorse,tiedintheshade,thegirlshadalreadytakentheirbasketsandgonedowntheeastroadwhichwoundthroughthesandandscrub。

  Icouldhearthemcallingtoeachother。Theelderbushesdidnotgrowbackintheshadyravinesbetweenthebluffs,butinthehot,sandybottomsalongthestream,wheretheirrootswerealwaysinmoistureandtheirtopsinthesun。

  Theblossomswereunusuallyluxuriantandbeautifulthatsummer。

  Ifollowedacattlepaththroughthethickunder-brushuntilI

  cametoaslopethatfellawayabruptlytothewater\'sedge。

  Agreatchunkoftheshorehadbeenbittenoutbysomespringfreshet,andthescarwasmaskedbyelderbushes,growingdowntothewaterinfloweryterraces。Ididnottouchthem。Iwasovercomebycontentanddrowsinessandbythewarmsilenceaboutme。

  Therewasnosoundbutthehigh,singsongbuzzofwildbeesandthesunnygurgleofthewaterunderneath。Ipeepedovertheedgeofthebanktoseethelittlestreamthatmadethenoise;

  itflowedalongperfectlyclearoverthesandandgravel,cutofffromthemuddymaincurrentbyalongsandbar。

  Downthere,onthelowershelfofthebank,IsawAntonia,seatedaloneunderthepagoda-likeelders。Shelookedupwhensheheardme,andsmiled,butIsawthatshehadbeencrying。

  Isliddownintothesoftsandbesideherandaskedherwhatwasthematter。

  `Itmakesmehomesick,Jimmy,thisflower,thissmell,\'shesaidsoftly。

  `Wehavethisflowerverymuchathome,intheoldcountry。

  Italwaysgrewinouryardandmypapahadagreenbenchandatableunderthebushes。Insummer,whentheywereinbloom,heusedtosittherewithhisfriendthatplayedthetrombone。

  WhenIwaslittleIusedtogodowntheretohearthemtalk——

  beautifultalk,likewhatIneverhearinthiscountry。\'

  `Whatdidtheytalkabout?\'Iaskedher。

  Shesighedandshookherhead。`Oh,Idon\'tknow!Aboutmusic,andthewoods,andaboutGod,andwhentheywereyoung。\'

  Sheturnedtomesuddenlyandlookedintomyeyes。

  `Youthink,Jimmy,thatmaybemyfather\'sspiritcangobacktothoseoldplaces?\'

  Itoldheraboutthefeelingofherfather\'spresenceI

  hadonthatwinterdaywhenmygrandparentshadgoneovertoseehisdeadbodyandIwasleftaloneinthehouse。

  IsaidIfeltsurethenthathewasonhiswaybacktohisowncountry,andthatevennow,whenIpassedhisgrave,Ialwaysthoughtofhimasbeingamongthewoodsandfieldsthatweresodeartohim。

  Antoniahadthemosttrusting,responsiveeyesintheworld;

  loveandcredulousnessseemedtolookoutofthemwithopenfaces。

  `Whydidn\'tyouevertellmethatbefore?Itmakesmefeelmoresureforhim。\'Afterawhileshesaid:`Youknow,Jim,myfatherwasdifferentfrommymother。Hedidnothavetomarrymymother,andallhisbrothersquarrelledwithhimbecausehedid。

  Iusedtoheartheoldpeopleathomewhisperaboutit。

  Theysaidhecouldhavepaidmymothermoney,andnotmarriedher。

  Buthewasolderthanshewas,andhewastookindtotreatherlikethat。

  Helivedinhismother\'shouse,andshewasapoorgirlcomeintodothework。Aftermyfathermarriedher,mygrandmotherneverletmymothercomeintoherhouseagain。WhenIwenttomygrandmother\'sfuneralwastheonlytimeIwaseverinmygrandmother\'shouse。

  Don\'tthatseemstrange?\'

  Whileshetalked,Ilaybackinthehotsandandlookedupattheblueskybetweentheflatbouquetsofelder。Icouldhearthebeeshummingandsinging,buttheystayedupinthesunabovetheflowersanddidnotcomedownintotheshadowoftheleaves。

  AntoniaseemedtomethatdayexactlylikethelittlegirlwhousedtocometoourhousewithMr。Shimerda。

  `Someday,Tony,Iamgoingovertoyourcountry,andIamgoingtothelittletownwhereyoulived。

  Doyourememberallaboutit?\'

  `Jim,\'shesaidearnestly,`ifIwasputdownthereinthemiddleofthenight,Icouldfindmywayalloverthatlittletown;

  andalongtherivertothenexttown,wheremygrandmotherlived。

  Myfeetrememberallthelittlepathsthroughthewoods,andwherethebigrootsstickouttotripyou。Iain\'tneverforgotmyowncountry。\'

  Therewasacracklinginthebranchesaboveus,andLenaLingardpeereddownovertheedgeofthebank。

  `Youlazythings!\'shecried。`Allthiselder,andyoutwolyingthere!Didn\'tyouhearuscallingyou?\'

  Almostasflushedasshehadbeeninmydream,sheleanedovertheedgeofthebankandbegantodemolishourflowerypagoda。

  Ihadneverseenhersoenergetic;shewaspantingwithzeal,andtheperspirationstoodindropsonhershort,yieldingupperlip。

  Isprangtomyfeetandranupthebank。

  Itwasnoonnow,andsohotthatthedogwoodsandscrub-oaksbegantoturnupthesilveryundersideoftheirleaves,andallthefoliagelookedsoftandwilted。Icarriedthelunch-baskettothetopofoneofthechalkbluffs,whereevenonthecalmestdaystherewasalwaysabreeze。

  Theflat-topped,twistedlittleoaksthrewlightshadowsonthegrass。Belowuswecouldseethewindingsoftheriver,andBlackHawk,groupedamongitstrees,and,beyond,therollingcountry,swellinggentlyuntilitmetthesky。

  Wecouldrecognizefamiliarfarm-housesandwindmills。

  Eachofthegirlspointedouttomethedirectioninwhichherfather\'sfarmlay,andtoldmehowmanyacreswereinwheatthatyearandhowmanyincorn。

  `Myoldfolks,\'saidTinySoderball,`haveputintwentyacresofrye。

  Theygetitgroundatthemill,anditmakesnicebread。

  Itseemslikemymotherain\'tbeensohomesick,eversincefather\'sraisedryeflourforher。\'

  `Itmusthavebeenatrialforourmothers,\'saidLena,`comingouthereandhavingtodoeverythingdifferent。

  Mymotherhadalwayslivedintown。Shesaysshestartedbehindinfarm-work,andneverhascaughtup。\'

  `Yes,anewcountry\'shardontheoldones,sometimes,\'

  saidAnnathoughtfully。`Mygrandmother\'sgettingfeeblenow,andhermindwanders。She\'sforgotaboutthiscountry,andthinksshe\'sathomeinNorway。Shekeepsaskingmothertotakeherdowntothewatersideandthefishmarket。

  Shecravesfishallthetime。WheneverIgohomeItakehercannedsalmonandmackerel。\'

  `Mercy,it\'shot!\'Lenayawned。Shewassupineunderalittleoak,restingafterthefuryofherelder-hunting,andhadtakenoffthehigh-heeledslippersshehadbeensillyenoughtowear。

  `Comehere,Jim。Younevergotthesandoutofyourhair。\'

  Shebegantodrawherfingersslowlythroughmyhair。

  Antoniapushedheraway。`You\'llnevergetitoutlikethat,\'

  shesaidsharply。Shegavemyheadaroughtouzlingandfinishedmeoffwithsomethinglikeaboxontheear。

  `Lena,yououghtn\'ttotrytowearthoseslippersanymore。

  They\'retoosmallforyourfeet。You\'dbettergivethemtomeforYulka。\'

  `Allright,\'saidLenagood-naturedly,tuckingherwhitestockingsunderherskirt。`YougetallYulka\'sthings,don\'tyou?

  Iwishfatherdidn\'thavesuchbadluckwithhisfarmmachinery;

  thenIcouldbuymorethingsformysisters。I\'mgoingtogetMaryanewcoatthisfall,ifthesulkyplough\'sneverpaidfor!\'

  Tinyaskedherwhyshedidn\'twaituntilafterChristmas,whencoatswouldbecheaper。`Whatdoyouthinkofpoorme?\'sheadded;

  `withsixathome,youngerthanIam?AndtheyallthinkI\'mrich,becausewhenIgobacktothecountryI\'mdressedsofine!\'

  Sheshruggedhershoulders。`But,youknow,myweaknessisplaythings。

  Iliketobuythemplaythingsbetterthanwhattheyneed。\'

  `Iknowhowthatis,\'saidAnna。`Whenwefirstcamehere,andIwaslittle,weweretoopoortobuytoys。InevergotoverthelossofadollsomebodygavemebeforeweleftNorway。

  AboyontheboatbrokeherandIstillhatehimforit。\'

  `Iguessafteryougothereyouhadplentyoflivedollstonurse,likeme!\'

  Lenaremarkedcynically。

  `Yes,thebabiescamealongprettyfast,tobesure。ButIneverminded。

  Iwasfondofthemall。Theyoungestone,thatwedidn\'tanyofuswant,istheonewelovebestnow。\'

  Lenasighed。`Oh,thebabiesareallright;ifonlytheydon\'tcomeinwinter。Oursnearlyalwaysdid。Idon\'tseehowmotherstoodit。

  Itellyouwhat,girls\'——shesatupwithsuddenenergy——\'I\'mgoingtogetmymotheroutofthatoldsodhousewhereshe\'slivedsomanyyears。

  Themenwillneverdoit。Johnnie,that\'smyoldestbrother,he\'swantingtogetmarriednow,andbuildahouseforhisgirlinsteadofhismother。

  Mrs。ThomassaysshethinksIcanmovetosomeothertownprettysoon,andgointobusinessformyself。IfIdon\'tgetintobusiness,I\'llmaybemarryarichgambler。\'

  `Thatwouldbeapoorwaytogeton,\'saidAnnasarcastically。

  `IwishIcouldteachschool,likeSelmaKronn。Justthink!

  She\'llbethefirstScandinaviangirltogetapositioninthehighschool。

  Weoughttobeproudofher。\'

  Selmawasastudiousgirl,whohadnotmuchtoleranceforgiddythingslikeTinyandLena;buttheyalwaysspokeofherwithadmiration。

  Tinymovedaboutrestlessly,fanningherselfwithherstrawhat。

  `IfIwassmartlikeher,I\'dbeatmybooksdayandnight。

  Butshewasbornsmart——andlookhowherfather\'strainedher!

  Hewassomethinghighupintheoldcountry。\'

  `Sowasmymother\'sfather,\'murmuredLena,`butthat\'sallthegooditdoesus!Myfather\'sfatherwassmart,too,buthewaswild。

  HemarriedaLapp。Iguessthat\'swhat\'sthematterwithme;

  theysayLappbloodwillout。\'

  `ArealLapp,Lena?\'Iexclaimed。`Thekindthatwearskins?\'

  `Idon\'tknowifsheworeskins,butshewasaLappsallright,andhisfolksfeltdreadfulaboutit。HewassentupNorthonsomegovernmentjobhehad,andfellinwithher。

  Hewouldmarryher。\'

  `ButIthoughtLaplandwomenwerefatandugly,andhadsquinteyes,likeChinese?\'Iobjected。

  `Idon\'tknow,maybe。TheremustbesomethingmightytakingabouttheLappgirls,though;mothersaystheNorwegiansupNortharealwaysafraidtheirboyswillrunafterthem。\'

  Intheafternoon,whentheheatwaslessoppressive,wehadalivelygameof`PussyWantsaCorner,\'ontheflatbluff-top,withthelittletreesforbases。LenawasPussysooftenthatshefinallysaidshewouldn\'tplayanymore。

  Wethrewourselvesdownonthegrass,outofbreath。

  `Jim,\'Antoniasaiddreamily,`IwantyoutotellthegirlsabouthowtheSpanishfirstcamehere,likeyouandCharleyHarlingusedtotalkabout。

  I\'vetriedtotellthem,butIleaveoutsomuch。\'

  Theysatunderalittleoak,Tonyrestingagainstthetrunkandtheothergirlsleaningagainstherandeachother,andlistenedtothelittleIwasabletotellthemaboutCoronadoandhissearchfortheSevenGoldenCities。

  AtschoolweweretaughtthathehadnotgotsofarnorthasNebraska,buthadgivenuphisquestandturnedbacksomewhereinKansas。

  ButCharleyHarlingandIhadastrongbeliefthathehadbeenalongthisveryriver。Afarmerinthecountynorthofours,whenhewasbreakingsod,hadturnedupametalstirrupoffineworkmanship,andaswordwithaSpanishinscriptionontheblade。

  HelenttheserelicstoMr。Harling,whobroughtthemhomewithhim。

  CharleyandIscouredthem,andtheywereonexhibitionintheHarlingofficeallsummer。FatherKelly,thepriest,hadfoundthenameoftheSpanishmakerontheswordandanabbreviationthatstoodforthecityofCordova。

  `AndthatIsawwithmyowneyes,\'Antoniaputintriumphantly。

  `SoJimandCharleywereright,andtheteacherswerewrong!\'

  Thegirlsbegantowonderamongthemselves。WhyhadtheSpaniardscomesofar?Whatmustthiscountryhavebeenlike,then?

  WhyhadCoronadonevergonebacktoSpain,tohisrichesandhiscastlesandhisking?Icouldn\'ttellthem。

  Ionlyknewtheschoolbookssaidhe`diedinthewilderness,ofabrokenheart。\'

  `Morethanhimhasdonethat,\'saidAntoniasadly,andthegirlsmurmuredassent。

  Wesatlookingoffacrossthecountry,watchingthesungodown。

  Thecurlygrassaboutuswasonfirenow。Thebarkoftheoaksturnedredascopper。Therewasashimmerofgoldonthebrownriver。

  Outinthestreamthesandbarsglitteredlikeglass,andthelighttrembledinthewillowthicketsasiflittleflameswereleapingamongthem。Thebreezesanktostillness。Intheravinearingdovemournedplaintively,andsomewhereoffinthebushesanowlhooted。

  Thegirlssatlistless,leaningagainsteachother。Thelongfingersofthesuntouchedtheirforeheads。

  Presentlywesawacuriousthing:Therewerenoclouds,thesunwasgoingdowninalimpid,gold-washedsky。Justastheloweredgeofthereddiskrestedonthehighfieldsagainstthehorizon,agreatblackfiguresuddenlyappearedonthefaceofthesun。

  Wesprangtoourfeet,strainingoureyestowardit。Inamomentwerealizedwhatitwas。Onsomeuplandfarm,aploughhadbeenleftstandinginthefield。Thesunwassinkingjustbehindit。

  Magnifiedacrossthedistancebythehorizontallight,itstoodoutagainstthesun,wasexactlycontainedwithinthecircleofthedisk;

  thehandles,thetongue,theshare——blackagainstthemoltenred。

  Thereitwas,heroicinsize,apicturewritingonthesun。

  Evenwhilewewhisperedaboutit,ourvisiondisappeared;theballdroppedanddroppeduntiltheredtipwentbeneaththeearth。

  Thefieldsbelowusweredark,theskywasgrowingpale,andthatforgottenploughhadsunkbacktoitsownlittlenesssomewhereontheprairie。

  XV

  LATEINAUGUSTtheCutterswenttoOmahaforafewdays,leavingAntoniainchargeofthehouse。SincethescandalabouttheSwedishgirl,WickCuttercouldnevergethiswifetostiroutofBlackHawkwithouthim。

  ThedayaftertheCuttersleft,Antoniacameovertoseeus。

  Grandmothernoticedthatsheseemedtroubledanddistracted。

  `You\'vegotsomethingonyourmind,Antonia,\'shesaidanxiously。

  `Yes,Mrs。Burden。Icouldn\'tsleepmuchlastnight。\'Shehesitated,andthentoldushowstrangelyMr。Cutterhadbehavedbeforehewentaway。

  Heputallthesilverinabasketandplaceditunderherbed,andwithitaboxofpaperswhichhetoldherwerevaluable。

  Hemadeherpromisethatshewouldnotsleepawayfromthehouse,orbeoutlateintheevening,whilehewasgone。Hestrictlyforbadehertoaskanyofthegirlssheknewtostaywithheratnight。

  Shewouldbeperfectlysafe,hesaid,ashehadjustputanewYalelockonthefrontdoor。

  Cutterhadbeensoinsistentinregardtothesedetailsthatnowshefeltuncomfortableaboutstayingtherealone。Shehadn\'tlikedthewayhekeptcomingintothekitchentoinstructher,orthewayhelookedather。

  `Ifeelasifheisuptosomeofhistricksagain,andisgoingtotrytoscareme,somehow。\'

  Grandmotherwasapprehensiveatonce。`Idon\'tthinkit\'srightforyoutostaythere,feelingthatway。Isupposeitwouldn\'tberightforyoutoleavetheplacealone,either,aftergivingyourword。

  MaybeJimwouldbewillingtogooverthereandsleep,andyoucouldcomeherenights。I\'dfeelsafer,knowingyouwereundermyownroof。

  IguessJimcouldtakecareoftheirsilverandoldusurynotesaswellasyoucould。\'

  Antoniaturnedtomeeagerly。`Oh,wouldyou,Jim?I\'dmakeupmybedniceandfreshforyou。It\'sarealcoolroom,andthebed\'srightnextthewindow。Iwasafraidtoleavethewindowopenlastnight。\'

  Ilikedmyownroom,andIdidn\'tliketheCutters\'houseunderanycircumstances;butTonylookedsotroubledthatIconsentedtotrythisarrangement。IfoundthatIsleptthereaswellasanywhere,andwhenIgothomeinthemorning,Tonyhadagoodbreakfastwaitingforme。

  Afterprayersshesatdownatthetablewithus,anditwaslikeoldtimesinthecountry。

  ThethirdnightIspentattheCutters\',IawokesuddenlywiththeimpressionthatIhadheardadooropenandshut。

  Everythingwasstill,however,andImusthavegonetosleepagainimmediately。

  ThenextthingIknew,Ifeltsomeonesitdownontheedgeofthebed。Iwasonlyhalfawake,butIdecidedthathemighttaketheCutters\'silver,whoeverhewas。

  PerhapsifIdidnotmove,hewouldfinditandgetoutwithouttroublingme。Iheldmybreathandlayabsolutelystill。

  Ahandclosedsoftlyonmyshoulder,andatthesamemomentI

  feltsomethinghairyandcologne-scentedbrushingmyface。

  Iftheroomhadsuddenlybeenfloodedwithelectriclight,Icouldn\'thaveseenmoreclearlythedetestablebeardedcountenancethatIknewwasbendingoverme。

  Icaughtahandfulofwhiskersandpulled,shoutingsomething。

  Thehandthatheldmyshoulderwasinstantlyatmythroat。

  Themanbecameinsane;hestoodoverme,chokingmewithonefistandbeatingmeinthefacewiththeother,hissingandchucklingandlettingoutafloodofabuse。

  `Sothisiswhatshe\'suptowhenI\'maway,isit?

  Whereisshe,younastywhelp,whereisshe?Underthebed,areyou,hussy?Iknowyourtricks!WaittillIgetatyou!

  I\'llfixthisratyou\'vegotinhere。He\'scaught,allright!\'

  SolongasCutterhadmebythethroat,therewasnochanceformeatall。

  Igotholdofhisthumbandbentitback,untilheletgowithayell。

  Inabound,Iwasonmyfeet,andeasilysenthimsprawlingtothefloor。

  ThenImadeadivefortheopenwindow,struckthewirescreen,knockeditout,andtumbledafteritintotheyard。

  SuddenlyIfoundmyselfrunningacrossthenorthendofBlackHawkinmynight-shirt,justasonesometimesfindsone\'sselfbehavinginbaddreams。

  WhenIgothome,Iclimbedinatthekitchenwindow。Iwascoveredwithbloodfrommynoseandlip,butIwastoosicktodoanythingaboutit。

  Ifoundashawlandanovercoatonthehat-rack,laydownontheparloursofa,andinspiteofmyhurts,wenttosleep。

  Grandmotherfoundmethereinthemorning。Hercryoffrightawakenedme。Truly,Iwasabatteredobject。Asshehelpedmetomyroom,Icaughtaglimpseofmyselfinthemirror。

  Mylipwascutandstoodoutlikeasnout。Mynoselookedlikeabigblueplum,andoneeyewasswollenshutandhideouslydiscoloured。

  Grandmothersaidwemusthavethedoctoratonce,butIimploredher,asIhadneverbeggedforanythingbefore,nottosendforhim。

  Icouldstandanything,Itoldher,solongasnobodysawmeorknewwhathadhappenedtome。Ientreatedhernottoletgrandfather,even,comeintomyroom。Sheseemedtounderstand,thoughIwastoofaintandmiserabletogointoexplanations。

  Whenshetookoffmynight-shirt,shefoundsuchbruisesonmychestandshouldersthatshebegantocry。Shespentthewholemorningbathingandpoulticingme,andrubbingmewitharnica。

  IheardAntoniasobbingoutsidemydoor,butIaskedgrandmothertosendheraway。IfeltthatIneverwantedtoseeheragain。

  IhatedheralmostasmuchasIhatedCutter。Shehadletmeinforallthisdisgustingness。GrandmotherkeptsayinghowthankfulweoughttobethatIhadbeenthereinsteadofAntonia。ButIlaywithmydisfiguredfacetothewallandfeltnoparticulargratitude。

  Myoneconcernwasthatgrandmothershouldkeepeveryoneawayfromme。

  Ifthestoryoncegotabroad,Iwouldneverhearthelastofit。

  Icouldwellimaginewhattheoldmendownatthedrugstorewoulddowithsuchatheme。

  Whilegrandmotherwastryingtomakemecomfortable,grandfatherwenttothedepotandlearnedthatWickCutterhadcomehomeonthenightexpressfromtheeast,andhadleftagainonthesixo\'clocktrainforDenverthatmorning。

  Theagentsaidhisfacewasstripedwithcourt-plaster,andhecarriedhislefthandinasling。Helookedsousedup,thattheagentaskedhimwhathadhappenedtohimsinceteno\'clockthenightbefore;whereatCutterbegantoswearathimandsaidhewouldhavehimdischargedforincivility。

  Thatafternoon,whileIwasasleep,Antoniatookgrandmotherwithher,andwentovertotheCutters\'topackhertrunk。Theyfoundtheplacelockedup,andtheyhadtobreakthewindowtogetintoAntonia\'sbedroom。

  Thereeverythingwasinshockingdisorder。Herclotheshadbeentakenoutofhercloset,thrownintothemiddleoftheroom,andtrampledandtorn。

  MyowngarmentshadbeentreatedsobadlythatIneversawthemagain;

  grandmotherburnedthemintheCutters\'kitchenrange。

  WhileAntoniawaspackinghertrunkandputtingherroominorder,toleaveit,thefrontdoorbellrangviolently。TherestoodMrs。Cutter——

  lockedout,forshehadnokeytothenewlock——herheadtremblingwithrage。

  `Iadvisedhertocontrolherself,orshewouldhaveastroke,\'

  grandmothersaidafterward。

  GrandmotherwouldnotletherseeAntoniaatall,butmadehersitdownintheparlourwhilesherelatedtoherjustwhathadoccurredthenightbefore。

  Antoniawasfrightened,andwasgoinghometostayforawhile,shetoldMrs。Cutter;itwouldbeuselesstointerrogatethegirl,forsheknewnothingofwhathadhappened。

  ThenMrs。Cuttertoldherstory。SheandherhusbandhadstartedhomefromOmahatogetherthemorningbefore。TheyhadtostopoverseveralhoursatWaymoreJunctiontocatchtheBlackHawktrain。Duringthewait,CutterleftheratthedepotandwenttotheWaymorebanktoattendtosomebusiness。

  Whenhereturned,hetoldherthathewouldhavetostayovernightthere,butshecouldgoonhome。Heboughtherticketandputheronthetrain。

  Shesawhimslipatwenty-dollarbillintoherhandbagwithherticket。

  Thatbill,shesaid,shouldhavearousedhersuspicionsatonce——butdidnot。

  Thetrainsarenevercalledatlittlejunctiontowns;

  everybodyknowswhentheycomein。Mr。Cuttershowedhiswife\'stickettotheconductor,andsettledherinherseatbeforethetrainmovedoff。ItwasnotuntilnearlynightfallthatshediscoveredshewasontheexpressboundforKansasCity,thatherticketwasmadeouttothatpoint,andthatCuttermusthaveplanneditso。TheconductortoldhertheBlackHawktrainwasdueatWaymoretwelveminutesaftertheKansasCitytrainleft。ShesawatoncethatherhusbandhadplayedthistrickinordertogetbacktoBlackHawkwithouther。

  ShehadnochoicebuttogoontoKansasCityandtakethefirstfasttrainforhome。

  Cuttercouldhavegothomeadayearlierthanhiswifebyanyoneofadozensimplerdevices;hecouldhaveleftherintheOmahahotel,andsaidhewasgoingontoChicagoforafewdays。

  Butapparentlyitwaspartofhisfuntooutrageherfeelingsasmuchaspossible。

  `Mr。Cutterwillpayforthis,Mrs。Burden。Hewillpay!\'

  Mrs。Cutteravouched,noddingherhorse-likeheadandrollinghereyes。

  Grandmothersaidshehadn\'tadoubtofit。

  CertainlyCutterlikedtohavehiswifethinkhimadevil。

  InsomewayhedependedupontheexcitementHecouldarouseinherhystericalnature。Perhapshegotthefeelingofbeingarakemorefromhiswife\'srageandamazementthanfromanyexperiencesofhisown。

  Hiszestindebaucherymightwane,butneverMrs。Cutter\'sbeliefinit。

  Thereckoningwithhiswifeattheendofanescapadewassomethinghecountedon——likethelastpowerfulliqueurafteralongdinner。

  Theoneexcitementhereallycouldn\'tdowithoutwasquarrellingwithMrs。Cutter!

  EndofBookII

  BOOKIIILenaLingardI

  ATTHEUNIVERSITYIhadthegoodfortunetocomeimmediatelyundertheinfluenceofabrilliantandinspiringyoungscholar。

  GastonClerichadarrivedinLincolnonlyafewweeksearlierthanI,tobeginhisworkasheadoftheLatinDepartment。

  HecameWestatthesuggestionofhisphysicians,hishealthhavingbeenenfeebledbyalongillnessinItaly。

  WhenItookmyentranceexaminations,hewasmyexaminer,andmycoursewasarrangedunderhissupervision。

  Ididnotgohomeformyfirstsummervacation,butstayedinLincoln,workingoffayear\'sGreek,whichhadbeenmyonlyconditiononenteringthefreshmanclass。Cleric\'sdoctoradvisedagainsthisgoingbacktoNewEngland,and,exceptforafewweeksinColorado,he,too,wasinLincolnallthatsummer。

  Weplayedtennis,read,andtooklongwalkstogether。

  Ishallalwayslookbackonthattimeofmentalawakeningasoneofthehappiestinmylife。GastonClericintroducedmetotheworldofideas;whenonefirstentersthatworldeverythingelsefadesforatime,andallthatwentbeforeisasifithadnotbeen。YetIfoundcurioussurvivals;

  someofthefiguresofmyoldlifeseemedtobewaitingformeinthenew。

  Inthosedaysthereweremanyseriousyoungmenamongthestudentswhohadcomeuptotheuniversityfromthefarmsandthelittletownsscatteredoverthethinlysettledstate。

  Someofthoseboyscamestraightfromthecornfieldswithonlyasummer\'swagesintheirpockets,hungonthroughthefouryears,shabbyandunderfed,andcompletedthecoursebyreallyheroicself-sacrifice。Ourinstructorswereoddlyassorted;

  wanderingpioneerschool-teachers,strandedministersoftheGospel,afewenthusiasticyoungmenjustoutofgraduateschools。

  Therewasanatmosphereofendeavour,ofexpectancyandbrighthopefulnessabouttheyoungcollegethathadlifteditsheadfromtheprairieonlyafewyearsbefore。

  Ourpersonallifewasasfreeasthatofourinstructors。

  Therewerenocollegedormitories;welivedwherewecouldandaswecould。

  Itookroomswithanoldcouple,earlysettlersinLincoln,whohadmarriedofftheirchildrenandnowlivedquietlyintheirhouseattheedgeoftown,neartheopencountry。Thehousewasinconvenientlysituatedforstudents,andonthataccountIgottworoomsforthepriceofone。Mybedroom,originallyalinen-closet,wasunheatedandwasbarelylargeenoughtocontainmycot-bed,butitenabledmetocalltheotherroommystudy。

  Thedresser,andthegreatwalnutwardrobewhichheldallmyclothes,evenmyhatsandshoes,Ihadpushedoutoftheway,andIconsideredthemnon-existent,aschildreneliminateincongruousobjectswhentheyareplayinghouse。Iworkedatacommodiousgreen-toppedtableplaceddirectlyinfrontofthewestwindowwhichlookedoutovertheprairie。Inthecorneratmyrightwereallmybooks,inshelvesIhadmadeandpaintedmyself。

  Ontheblankwallatmyleftthedark,old-fashionedwall-paperwascoveredbyalargemapofancientRome,theworkofsomeGermanscholar。

  Clerichadordereditformewhenhewassendingforbooksfromabroad。

  OverthebookcasehungaphotographoftheTragicTheatreatPompeii,whichhehadgivenmefromhiscollection。

  WhenIsatatworkIhalf-facedadeep,upholsteredchairwhichstoodattheendofmytable,itshighbackagainstthewall。

  Ihadboughtitwithgreatcare。Myinstructorsometimeslookedinuponmewhenhewasoutforaneveningtramp,andInoticedthathewasmorelikelytolingerandbecometalkativeifIhadacomfortablechairforhimtositin,andifhefoundabottleofBenedictineandplentyofthekindofcigarettesheliked,athiselbow。

  Hewas,Ihaddiscovered,parsimoniousaboutsmallexpenditures——

  atraitabsolutelyinconsistentwithhisgeneralcharacter。

  Sometimeswhenhecamehewassilentandmoody,andafterafewsarcasticremarkswentawayagain,totrampthestreetsofLincoln,whichwerealmostasquietandoppressivelydomesticasthoseofBlackHawk。Again,hewouldsituntilnearlymidnight,talkingaboutLatinandEnglishpoetry,ortellingmeabouthislongstayinItaly。

  Icangivenoideaofthepeculiarcharmandvividnessofhistalk。

  Inacrowdhewasnearlyalwayssilent。Evenforhisclassroomhehadnoplatitudes,nostockofprofessorialanecdotes。

  Whenhewastired,hislectureswereclouded,obscure,elliptical;

  butwhenhewasinterestedtheywerewonderful。IbelievethatGastonClericnarrowlymissedbeingagreatpoet,andIhavesometimesthoughtthathisburstsofimaginativetalkwerefataltohispoeticgift。

  Hesquanderedtoomuchintheheatofpersonalcommunication。

  HowoftenIhaveseenhimdrawhisdarkbrowstogether,fixhiseyesuponsomeobjectonthewallorafigureinthecarpet,andthenflashintothelamplighttheveryimagethatwasinhisbrain。

  Hecouldbringthedramaofantiquelifebeforeoneoutoftheshadows——whitefiguresagainstbluebackgrounds。

  IshallneverforgethisfaceasitlookedonenightwhenhetoldmeaboutthesolitarydayhespentamongtheseatemplesatPaestum:

  thesoftwindblowingthroughtherooflesscolumns,thebirdsflyinglowoverthefloweringmarshgrasses,thechanginglightsonthesilver,cloud-hungmountains。Hehadwilfullystayedtheshortsummernightthere,wrappedinhiscoatandrug,watchingtheconstellationsontheirpathdowntheskyuntil`thebrideofoldTithonus\'

  roseoutofthesea,andthemountainsstoodsharpinthedawn。

  ItwastherehecaughtthefeverwhichheldhimbackontheeveofhisdepartureforGreeceandofwhichhelayillsolonginNaples。

  Hewasstill,indeed,doingpenanceforit。

  Iremembervividlyanotherevening,whensomethingledustotalkofDante\'svenerationforVirgil。Clericwentthroughcantoaftercantoofthe`Commedia,\'repeatingthediscoursebetweenDanteandhis`sweetteacher,\'whilehiscigaretteburneditselfoutunheededbetweenhislongfingers。Icanhearhimnow,speakingthelinesofthepoetStatius,whospokeforDante:

  `Iwasfamousonearthwiththenamewhichendureslongestandhonoursmost。Theseedsofmyardourwerethesparksfromthatdivineflamewherebymorethanathousandhavekindled;

  Ispeakofthe“Aeneid,“mothertomeandnursetomeinpoetry。\'

  AlthoughIadmiredscholarshipsomuchinCleric,Iwasnotdeceivedaboutmyself;IknewthatIshouldneverbeascholar。

  Icouldneverlosemyselfforlongamongimpersonalthings。

  Mentalexcitementwasapttosendmewitharushbacktomyownnakedlandandthefiguresscattereduponit。

  WhileIwasintheveryactofyearningtowardthenewformsthatClericbroughtupbeforeme,mymindplungedawayfromme,andIsuddenlyfoundmyselfthinkingoftheplacesandpeopleofmyowninfinitesimalpast。Theystoodoutstrengthenedandsimplifiednow,liketheimageoftheploughagainstthesun。

  TheywereallIhadforananswertothenewappeal。

  IbegrudgedtheroomthatJakeandOttoandRussianPetertookupinmymemory,whichIwantedtocrowdwithotherthings。

  Butwhenevermyconsciousnesswasquickened,allthoseearlyfriendswerequickenedwithinit,andinsomestrangewaytheyaccompaniedmethroughallmynewexperiences。

  TheyweresomuchaliveinmethatIscarcelystoppedtowonderwhethertheywerealiveanywhereelse,orhow。

  II

  ONEMARCHEVENINGinmysophomoreyearIwassittingaloneinmyroomaftersupper。Therehadbeenawarmthawallday,withmushyyardsandlittlestreamsofdarkwatergurglingcheerfullyintothestreetsoutofoldsnow-banks。Mywindowwasopen,andtheearthywindblowingthroughmademeindolent。

  Ontheedgeoftheprairie,wherethesunhadgonedown,theskywasturquoiseblue,likealake,withgoldlightthrobbinginit。

  Higherup,intheutterclarityofthewesternslope,theeveningstarhunglikealampsuspendedbysilverchains——likethelampengraveduponthetitle-pageofoldLatintexts,whichisalwaysappearinginnewheavens,andwakingnewdesiresinmen。

  Itremindedme,atanyrate,toshutmywindowandlightmywickinanswer。Ididsoregretfully,andthedimobjectsintheroomemergedfromtheshadowsandtooktheirplaceaboutmewiththehelpfulnesswhichcustombreeds。

  Iproppedmybookopenandstaredlistlesslyatthepageofthe`Georgics\'wheretomorrow\'slessonbegan。

  Itopenedwiththemelancholyreflectionthat,inthelivesofmortalsthebestdaysarethefirsttoflee。

  \'Optimadies……primafugit。\'Iturnedbacktothebeginningofthethirdbook,whichwehadreadinclassthatmorning。

  \'Primusegoinpatriammecum……deducamMusas\';`forIshallbethefirst,ifIlive,tobringtheMuseintomycountry。\'

  Clerichadexplainedtousthat`patria\'heremeant,notanationorevenaprovince,butthelittleruralneighbourhoodontheMinciowherethepoetwasborn。Thiswasnotaboast,butahope,atonceboldanddevoutlyhumble,thathemightbringtheMusebutlatelycometoItalyfromhercloudyGrecianmountains,nottothecapital,thepalatiaRomana,buttohisownlittleIcountry\';tohisfather\'sfields,`slopingdowntotheriverandtotheoldbeechtreeswithbrokentops。\'

  ClericsaidhethoughtVirgil,whenhewasdyingatBrindisi,musthaverememberedthatpassage。Afterhehadfacedthebitterfactthathewastoleavethe`Aeneid\'unfinished,andhaddecreedthatthegreatcanvas,crowdedwithfiguresofgodsandmen,shouldbeburnedratherthansurvivehimunperfected,thenhismindmusthavegonebacktotheperfectutteranceofthe`Georgics,\'

  wherethepenwasfittedtothematterastheploughistothefurrow;

  andhemusthavesaidtohimself,withthethankfulnessofagoodman,`IwasthefirsttobringtheMuseintomycountry。\'

  Welefttheclassroomquietly,consciousthatwehadbeenbrushedbythewingofagreatfeeling,thoughperhapsIaloneknewClericintimatelyenoughtoguesswhatthatfeelingwas。

  Intheevening,asIsatstaringatmybook,thefervourofhisvoicestirredthroughthequantitiesonthepagebeforeme。

  IwaswonderingwhetherthatparticularrockystripofNewEnglandcoastaboutwhichhehadsooftentoldmewasCleric\'spatria。

  BeforeIhadgotfarwithmyreading,Iwasdisturbedbyaknock。

  IhurriedtothedoorandwhenIopeneditsawawomanstandinginthedarkhall。

  `Iexpectyouhardlyknowme,Jim。\'

  Thevoiceseemedfamiliar,butIdidnotrecognizeheruntilshesteppedintothelightofmydoorwayandIbeheld——LenaLingard!

  ShewassoquietlyconventionalizedbycityclothesthatI

  mighthavepassedheronthestreetwithoutseeingher。

  Herblacksuitfittedherfiguresmoothly,andablacklacehat,withpale-blueforget-me-nots,satdemurelyonheryellowhair。

  IledhertowardCleric\'schair,theonlycomfortableoneIhad,questioningherconfusedly。

  Shewasnotdisconcertedbymyembarrassment。

  ShelookedaboutherwiththenaivecuriosityIrememberedsowell。`Youarequitecomfortablehere,aren\'tyou?

  IliveinLincolnnow,too,Jim。I\'minbusinessformyself。

  IhaveadressmakingshopintheRaleighBlock,outonOStreet。

  I\'vemadearealgoodstart。\'

  `But,Lena,whendidyoucome?\'

  `Oh,I\'vebeenhereallwinter。Didn\'tyourgrandmothereverwriteyou?I\'vethoughtaboutlookingyouuplotsoftimes。

  Butwe\'veallheardwhatastudiousyoungmanyou\'vegottobe,andIfeltbashful。Ididn\'tknowwhetheryou\'dbegladtoseeme。\'

  Shelaughedhermellow,easylaugh,thatwaseitherveryartlessorverycomprehending,oneneverquiteknewwhich。`Youseemthesame,though——exceptyou\'reayoungman,now,ofcourse。

  DoyouthinkI\'vechanged?\'

  `Maybeyou\'reprettier——thoughyouwerealwaysprettyenough。

  Perhapsit\'syourclothesthatmakeadifference。\'

  `Youlikemynewsuit?Ihavetodressprettywellinmybusiness。\'

  Shetookoffherjacketandsatmoreateaseinherblouse,ofsomesoft,flimsysilk。Shewasalreadyathomeinmyplace,hadslippedquietlyintoit,asshedidintoeverything。

  Shetoldmeherbusinesswasgoingwell,andshehadsavedalittlemoney。

  `ThissummerI\'mgoingtobuildthehouseformotherI\'vetalkedaboutsolong。Iwon\'tbeabletopayuponitatfirst,butIwanthertohaveitbeforesheistoooldtoenjoyit。

  NextsummerI\'lltakeherdownnewfurnitureandcarpets,soshe\'llhavesomethingtolookforwardtoallwinter。\'

  IwatchedLenasittingtheresosmoothandsunnyandwell-cared-for,andthoughtofhowsheusedtorunbarefootovertheprairieuntilafterthesnowbegantofly,andhowCrazyMarychasedherroundandroundthecornfields。

  Itseemedtomewonderfulthatsheshouldhavegotonsowellintheworld。

  Certainlyshehadnoonebutherselftothankforit。

  `Youmustfeelproudofyourself,Lena,\'Isaidheartily。

  `Lookatme;I\'veneverearnedadollar,andIdon\'tknowthatI\'lleverbeableto。\'

  `Tonysaysyou\'regoingtobericherthanMr。Harlingsomeday。

  She\'salwaysbraggingaboutyou,youknow。\'

  `Tellme,howISTony?\'

  `She\'sfine。SheworksforMrs。Gardeneratthehotelnow。

  She\'shousekeeper。Mrs。Gardener\'shealthisn\'twhatitwas,andshecan\'tseeaftereverythinglikesheusedto。

  ShehasgreatconfidenceinTony。Tony\'smadeitupwiththeHarlings,too。LittleNinaissofondofherthatMrs。Harlingkindofoverlookedthings。\'

  `IsshestillgoingwithLarryDonovan?\'

  `Oh,that\'son,worsethanever!Iguessthey\'reengaged。

  Tonytalksabouthimlikehewaspresidentoftherailroad。

  Everybodylaughsaboutit,becauseshewasneveragirltobesoft。

  Shewon\'thearawordagainsthim。She\'ssosortofinnocent。\'

  IsaidIdidn\'tlikeLarry,andneverwould。

  Lena\'sfacedimpled。`Someofuscouldtellherthings,butitwouldn\'tdoanygood。She\'dalwaysbelievehim。

  That\'sAntonia\'sfailing,youknow;ifsheoncelikespeople,shewon\'thearanythingagainstthem。\'

  `IthinkI\'dbettergohomeandlookafterAntonia,\'Isaid。

  `Ithinkyouhad。\'Lenalookedupatmeinfrankamusement。

  `It\'sagoodthingtheHarlingsarefriendlywithheragain。

  Larry\'safraidofthem。Theyshipsomuchgrain,theyhaveinfluencewiththerailroadpeople。Whatareyoustudying?\'

  Sheleanedherelbowsonthetableanddrewmybooktowardher。

  Icaughtafaintodourofvioletsachet。`Sothat\'sLatin,isit?

  Itlookshard。Youdogotothetheatresometimes,though,forI\'veseenyouthere。Don\'tyoujustloveagoodplay,Jim?

  Ican\'tstayathomeintheeveningifthere\'soneintown。

  I\'dbewillingtoworklikeaslave,itseemstome,toliveinaplacewheretherearetheatres。\'

  `Let\'sgotoashowtogethersometime。Youaregoingtoletmecometoseeyou,aren\'tyou?\'

  `Wouldyouliketo?I\'dbeeversopleased。I\'mneverbusyaftersixo\'clock,andIletmysewinggirlsgoathalf-pastfive。

  Iboard,tosavetime,butsometimesIcookachopformyself,andI\'dbegladtocookoneforyou。Well\'——shebegantoputonherwhitegloves——\'it\'sbeenawfulgoodtoseeyou,Jim。\'

  `Youneedn\'thurry,needyou?You\'vehardlytoldmeanythingyet。\'

  `Wecantalkwhenyoucometoseeme。Iexpectyoudon\'toftenhaveladyvisitors。Theoldwomandownstairsdidn\'twanttoletmecomeupverymuch。ItoldherIwasfromyourhometown,andhadpromisedyourgrandmothertocomeandseeyou。

  HowsurprisedMrs。Burdenwouldbe!\'Lenalaughedsoftlyassherose。

  WhenIcaughtupmyhat,sheshookherhead。

  `No,Idon\'twantyoutogowithme。I\'mtomeetsomeSwedesatthedrugstore。Youwouldn\'tcareforthem。

  IwantedtoseeyourroomsoIcouldwriteTonyallaboutit,butImusttellherhowIleftyourightherewithyourbooks。

  She\'salwayssoafraidsomeonewillrunoffwithyou!\'

  LenaslippedhersilksleevesintothejacketIheldforher,smootheditoverherperson,andbuttoneditslowly。

  Iwalkedwithhertothedoor。`Comeandseemesometimeswhenyou\'relonesome。Butmaybeyouhaveallthefriendsyouwant。

  Haveyou?\'Sheturnedhersoftcheektome。`Haveyou?\'

  shewhisperedteasinglyinmyear。InamomentIwatchedherfadedowntheduskystairway。

  WhenIturnedbacktomyroomtheplaceseemedmuchpleasanterthanbefore。

  Lenahadleftsomethingwarmandfriendlyinthelamplight。

  HowIlovedtohearherlaughagain!Itwassosoftandunexcitedandappreciativegaveafavourableinterpretationtoeverything。

  WhenIclosedmyeyesIcouldhearthemalllaughing——theDanishlaundrygirlsandthethreeBohemianMarys。Lenahadbroughtthemallbacktome。

  Itcameoverme,asithadneverdonebefore,therelationbetweengirlslikethoseandthepoetryofVirgil。Iftherewerenogirlslikethemintheworld,therewouldbenopoetry。Iunderstoodthatclearly,forthefirsttime。Thisrevelationseemedtomeinestimablyprecious。

  Iclungtoitasifitmightsuddenlyvanish。

  AsIsatdowntomybookatlast,myolddreamaboutLenacomingacrosstheharvest-fieldinhershortskirtseemedtomelikethememoryofanactualexperience。Itfloatedbeforemeonthepagelikeapicture,andunderneathitstoodthemournfulline:

  \'Optimadies……primafugit。\'

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