WemmickexplainedtomewhiletheAgedgothisspectaclesout，thatthiswasaccordingtocustom，andthatitgavetheoldgentlemaninfinitesatisfactiontoreadthenewsaloud。`Iwon\'tofferanapology，\'saidWemmick，`forheisn\'tcapableofmanypleasures-areyou，AgedP。？\'
`Allright，John，allright，\'returnedtheoldman，seeinghimselfspokento。
`Onlytiphimanodeverynowandthenwhenhelooksoffhispaper，\'
saidWemmick，`andhe\'llbeashappyasaking。Weareallattention，AgedOne。\'
`Allright，John，allright！\'returnedthecheerfuloldman:sobusyandsopleased，thatitreallywasquitecharming。
TheAged\'sreadingremindedmeoftheclassesatMrWopsle\'sgreat-aunt\'s，withthepleasanterpeculiaritythatitseemedtocomethroughakeyhole。
Ashewantedthecandlesclosetohim，andashewasalwaysonthevergeofputtingeitherhisheadorthenewspaperintothem，herequiredasmuchwatchingasapowder-mill。ButWemmickwasequallyuntiringandgentleinhisvigilance，andtheAgedreadon，quiteunconsciousofhismanyrescues。
Wheneverhelookedatus，weallexpressedthegreatestinterestandamazement，andnoddeduntilheresumedagain。
AsWemmickandMissSkiffinssatsidebyside，andasIsatinashadowycorner，IobservedaslowandgradualelongationofMrWemmick\'smouth，powerfullysuggestiveofhisslowlyandgraduallystealinghisarmroundMissSkiffins\'swaist。IncourseoftimeIsawhishandappearontheothersideofMissSkiffins；butatthatmomentMissSkiffinsneatlystoppedhimwiththegreenglove，unwoundhisarmagainasifitwereanarticleofdress，andwiththegreatestdeliberationlaiditonthetablebeforeher。MissSkiffins\'scomposurewhileshedidthiswasoneofthemostremarkablesightsIhaveeverseen，andifIcouldhavethoughttheactconsistentwithabstractionofmind，IshouldhavedeemedthatMissSkiffinsperformeditmechanically。
By-and-by，InoticedWemmick\'sarmbeginningtodisappearagain，andgraduallyfadingoutofview。Shortlyafterwards，hismouthbegantowidenagain。Afteranintervalofsuspenseonmypartthatwasquiteenthrallingandalmostpainful，IsawhishandappearontheothersideofMissSkiffins。
Instantly，MissSkiffinsstoppeditwiththeneatnessofaplacidboxer，tookoffthatgirdleorcestusasbefore，andlaiditonthetable。Takingthetabletorepresentthepathofvirtue，IamjustifiedinstatingthatduringthewholetimeoftheAged\'sreading，Wemmick\'sarmwasstrayingfromthepathofvirtueandbeingrecalledtoitbyMissSkiffins。
Atlast，theAgedreadhimselfintoalightslumber。ThiswasthetimeforWemmicktoproducealittlekettle，atrayofglasses，andablackbottlewithaporcelain-toppedcork，representingsomeclericaldignitaryofarubicundandsocialaspect。Withtheaidoftheseappliancesweallhadsomethingwarmtodrink:includingtheAged，whowassoonawakeagain。
MissSkiffinsmixed，andIobservedthatsheandWemmickdrankoutofoneglass。OfcourseIknewbetterthantooffertoseeMissSkiffinshome，andunderthecircumstancesIthoughtIhadbestgofirst:whichIdid，takingacordialleaveoftheAged，andhavingpassedapleasantevening。
Beforeaweekwasout，IreceivedanotefromWemmick，datedWalworth，statingthathehopedhehadmadesomeadvanceinthatmatterappertainingtoourprivateandpersonalcapacities，andthathewouldbegladifI
couldcomeandseehimagainuponit。So，IwentouttoWalworthagain，andyetagain，andyetagain，andIsawhimbyappointmentintheCityseveraltimes，butneverheldanycommunicationwithhimonthesubjectinornearLittleBritain。Theupshotwas，thatwefoundaworthyyoungmerchantorshipping-broker，notlongestablishedinbusiness，whowantedintelligenthelp，andwhowantedcapital，andwhoinduecourseoftimeandreceiptwouldwantapartner。Betweenhimandme，secretarticlesweresignedofwhichHerbertwasthesubject，andIpaidhimhalfofmyfivehundredpoundsdown，andengagedforsundryotherpayments:some，tofalldueatcertaindatesoutofmyincome:some，contingentonmycomingintomyproperty。MissSkiffins\'sbrotherconductedthenegotiation。Wemmickpervadeditthroughout，butneverappearedinit。
Thewholebusinesswassocleverlymanaged，thatHerberthadnottheleastsuspicionofmyhandbeinginit。Inevershallforgettheradiantfacewithwhichhecamehomeoneafternoon，andtoldme，asamightypieceofnews，ofhishavingfalleninwithoneClarrikertheyoungmerchant\'sname，andofClarriker\'shavingshownanextraordinaryinclinationtowardshim，andofhisbeliefthattheopeninghadcomeatlast。Daybydayashishopesgrewstrongerandhisfacebrighter，hemusthavethoughtmeamoreandmoreaffectionatefriend，forIhadthegreatestdifficultyinrestrainingmytearsoftriumphwhenIsawhimsohappy。Atlength，thethingbeingdone，andhehavingthatdayenteredClarriker\'sHouse，andhehavingtalkedtomeforawholeeveninginaflushofpleasureandsuccess，IdidreallycryingoodearnestwhenIwenttobed，tothinkthatmyexpectationshaddonesomegoodtosomebody。
Agreateventinmylife，theturningpointofmylife，nowopensonmyview。But，beforeIproceedtonarrateit，andbeforeIpassontoallthechangesitinvolved，ImustgiveonechaptertoEstella。Itisnotmuchtogivetothethemethatsolongfilledmyheart。
Chapter38
IFthatstaidoldhouseneartheGreenatRichmondshouldevercometobehauntedwhenIamdead，itwillbehaunted，surely，bymyghost。
Othemany，manynightsanddaysthroughwhichtheunquietspiritwithinmehauntedthathousewhenEstellalivedthere！Letmybodybewhereitwould，myspiritwasalwayswandering，wandering，wandering，aboutthathouse。
TheladywithwhomEstellawasplaced，MrsBrandleybyname，wasawidow，withonedaughterseveralyearsolderthanEstella。Themotherlookedyoung，andthedaughterlookedold；themother\'scomplexionwaspink，andthedaughter\'swasyellow；themothersetupforfrivolity，andthedaughterfortheology。Theywereinwhatiscalledagoodposition，andvisited，andwerevisitedby，numbersofpeople。Little，ifany，communityoffeelingsubsistedbetweenthemandEstella，buttheunderstandingwasestablishedthattheywerenecessarytoher，andthatshewasnecessarytothem。MrsBrandleyhadbeenafriendofMissHavisham\'sbeforethetimeofherseclusion。
InMrsBrandley\'shouseandoutofMrsBrandley\'shouse，IsufferedeverykindanddegreeoftorturethatEstellacouldcauseme。Thenatureofmyrelationswithher，whichplacedmeontermsoffamiliaritywithoutplacingmeontermsoffavour，conducedtomydistraction。Shemadeuseofmetoteaseotheradmirers，andsheturnedtheveryfamiliaritybetweenherselfandme，totheaccountofputtingaconstantslightonmydevotiontoher。IfIhadbeenhersecretary，steward，half-brother，poorrelation-ifIhadbeenayoungerbrotherofherappointedhusband-Icouldnothaveseemedtomyself，furtherfrommyhopeswhenIwasnearesttoher。
Theprivilegeofcallingherbyhernameandhearinghercallmebymine，becameunderthecircumstancesanaggravationofmytrials；andwhileI
thinkitlikelythatitalmostmaddenedherotherlovers，Iknowtoocertainlythatitalmostmaddenedme。
Shehadadmirerswithoutend。Nodoubtmyjealousymadeanadmirerofeveryonewhowentnearher；butthereweremorethanenoughofthemwithoutthat。
IsawheroftenatRichmond，Iheardofheroftenintown，andIusedoftentotakeherandtheBrandleysonthewater；therewerepic-nics，fê；tedays，plays，operas，concerts，parties，allsortsofpleasures，throughwhichIpursuedher-andtheywereallmiseriestome。Ineverhadonehour\'shappinessinhersociety，andyetmymindallroundthefour-and-twentyhourswasharpingonthehappinessofhavingherwithmeuntodeath。
Throughoutthispartofourintercourse-anditlasted，aswillpresentlybeseen，forwhatIthenthoughtalongtime-shehabituallyrevertedtothattonewhichexpressedthatourassociationwasforceduponus。Therewereothertimeswhenshewouldcometoasuddencheckinthistoneandinallhermanytones，andwouldseemtopityme。
`Pip，Pip，\'shesaidoneevening，comingtosuchacheck，whenwesatapartatadarkeningwindowofthehouseinRichmond；`willyounevertakewarning？\'
`Ofwhat？\'
`Ofme。\'
`Warningnottobeattractedbyyou，doyoumean，Estella？\'
`DoImean！Ifyoudon\'tknowwhatImean，youareblind。\'
IshouldhaverepliedthatLovewascommonlyreputedblind，butforthereasonthatIalwayswasrestrained-andthiswasnottheleastofmymiseries-byafeelingthatitwasungeneroustopressmyselfuponher，whensheknewthatshecouldnotchoosebutobeyMissHavisham。Mydreadalwayswas，thatthisknowledgeonherpartlaidmeunderaheavydisadvantagewithherpride，andmademethesubjectofarebelliousstruggleinherbosom。
`Atanyrate，\'saidI，`Ihavenowarninggivenmejustnow，foryouwrotetometocometoyou，thistime。\'
`That\'strue，\'saidEstella，withacoldcarelesssmilethatalwayschilledme。
Afterlookingatthetwilightwithout，foralittlewhile，shewentontosay:
`ThetimehascomeroundwhenMissHavishamwishestohavemeforadayatSatis。Youaretotakemethere，andbringmeback，ifyouwill。
ShewouldratherIdidnottravelalone，andobjectstoreceivingmymaid，forshehasasensitivehorrorofbeingtalkedofbysuchpeople。Canyoutakeme？\'
`CanItakeyou，Estella！\'
`Youcanthen？Thedayafterto-morrow，ifyouplease。Youaretopayallchargesoutofmypurse，Youheartheconditionofyourgoing？\'
`Andmustobey，\'saidI。
ThiswasallthepreparationIreceivedforthatvisit，orforotherslikeit:MissHavishamneverwrotetome，norhadIeversomuchasseenherhandwriting。Wewentdownonthenextdaybutone，andwefoundherintheroomwhereIhadfirstbeheldher，anditisneedlesstoaddthattherewasnochangeinSatisHouse。
ShewasevenmoredreadfullyfondofEstellathanshehadbeenwhenIlastsawthemtogether；Irepeatthewordadvisedly，fortherewassomethingpositivelydreadfulintheenergyofherlooksandembraces。ShehunguponEstella\'sbeauty，hunguponherwords，hunguponhergestures，andsatmumblingherowntremblingfingerswhileshelookedather，asthoughsheweredevouringthebeautifulcreatureshehadreared。
FromEstellashelookedatme，withasearchingglancethatseemedtopryintomyheartandprobeitswounds。`Howdoessheuseyou，Pip；howdoessheuseyou？\'sheaskedmeagain，withherwitch-likeeagerness，eveninEstella\'shearing。But，whenwesatbyherflickeringfireatnight，shewasmostweird；forthen，keepingEstella\'shanddrawnthroughherarmandclutchedinherownhand，sheextortedfromher，bydintofreferringbacktowhatEstellahadtoldherinherregularletters，thenamesandconditionsofthemenwhomshehadfascinated；andasMissHavishamdweltuponhisroll，withtheintensityofamindmortallyhurtanddiseased，shesatwithherotherhandonhercrutchstick，andherchinonthat，andherwanbrighteyesglaringatme，averyspectre。
Isawinthis，wretchedthoughitmademe，andbitterthesenseofdependenceandevenofdegradationthatitawakened-Isawinthis，thatEstellawassettowreakMissHavisham\'srevengeonmen，andthatshewasnottobegiventomeuntilshehadgratifieditforaterm。Isawinthis，areasonforherbeingbeforehandassignedtome。Sendingherouttoattractandtormentanddomischief，MissHavishamsentherwiththemaliciousassurancethatshewasbeyondthereachofalladmirers，andthatallwhostakeduponthatcastweresecuredtolose。Isawinthis，thatI，too，wastormentedbyaperversionofingenuity，evenwhiletheprizewasreservedforme。Isawinthis，thereasonformybeingstavedoffsolong，andthereasonformylateguardian\'sdecliningtocommithimselftotheformalknowledgeofsuchascheme。Inaword，Isawinthis，MissHavishamasIhadherthenandtherebeforemyeyes，andalwayshadhadherbeforemyeyes；andIsawinthis，thedistinctshadowofthedarkenedandunhealthyhouseinwhichherlifewashiddenfromthesun。
Thecandlesthatlightedthatroomofherswereplacedinsconcesonthewall。Theywerehighfromtheground，andtheyburntwiththesteadydulnessofartificiallightinairthatisseldomrenewed。AsIlookedroundatthem，andatthepalegloomtheymade，andatthestoppedclock，andatthewitheredarticlesofbridaldressuponthetableandtheground，andatherownawfulfigurewithitsghostlyreflectionthrownlargebythefireupontheceilingandthewall，Isawineverythingtheconstructionthatmymindhadcometo，repeatedandthrownbacktome。Mythoughtspassedintothegreatroomacrossthelandingwherethetablewasspread，andIsawitwritten，asitwere，inthefallsofthecobwebsfromthecentre-piece，inthecrawlingsofthespidersonthecloth，inthetracksofthemiceastheybetooktheirlittlequickenedheartsbehindthepanels，andinthegropingsandpausingsofthebeetlesonthefloor。
IthappenedontheoccasionofthisvisitthatsomesharpwordsarosebetweenEstellaandMissHavisham。ItwasthefirsttimeIhadeverseenthemopposed。
Wewereseatedbythefire，asjustnowdescribed，andMissHavishamstillhadEstella\'sarmdrawnthroughherown，andstillclutchedEstella\'shandinhers，whenEstellagraduallybegantodetachherself。Shehadshownaproudimpatiencemorethanoncebefore，andhadratherenduredthatfierceaffectionthanacceptedorreturnedit。
`What！\'saidMissHavisham，flashinghereyesuponher，`areyoutiredofme？\'
`Onlyalittletiredofmyself，\'repliedEstella，disengagingherarm，andmovingtothegreatchimney-piece，whereshestoodlookingdownatthefire。
`Speakthetruth，youingrate！\'criedMissHavisham，passionatelystrikingherstickuponthefloor；`youaretiredofme。\'
Estellalookedatherwithperfectcomposure，andagainlookeddownatthefire。Hergracefulfigureandherbeautifulfaceexpressedaself-possessedindifferencetothewildheatoftheother，thatwasalmostcruel。
`Youstockandstone！\'exclaimedMissHavisham。`Youcold，coldheart！\'
`What？\'saidEstella，preservingherattitudeofindifferenceassheleanedagainstthegreatchimney-pieceandonlymovinghereyes；`doyoureproachmeforbeingcold？You？\'
`Areyounot？\'wasthefierceretort。
`Youshouldknow，\'saidEstella。`Iamwhatyouhavemademe。Takeallthepraise，takealltheblame；takeallthesuccess，takeallthefailure；
inshort，takeme。\'
`O，lookather，lookather！\'criedMissHavisham，bitterly；`Lookather，sohardandthankless，onthehearthwhereshewasreared！WhereItookherintothiswretchedbreastwhenitwasfirstbleedingfromitsstabs，andwhereIhavelavishedyearsoftendernessuponher！\'
`AtleastIwasnopartytothecompact，\'saidEstella，`forifIcouldwalkandspeak，whenitwasmade，itwasasmuchasIcoulddo。Butwhatwouldyouhave？Youhavebeenverygoodtome，andIoweeverythingtoyou。Whatwouldyouhave？\'
`Love，\'repliedtheother。
`Youhaveit。\'
`Ihavenot，\'saidMissHavisham。
`Motherbyadoption，\'retortedEstella，neverdepartingfromtheeasygraceofherattitude，neverraisinghervoiceastheotherdid，neveryieldingeithertoangerortenderness，`Motherbyadoption，IhavesaidthatIoweeverythingtoyou。AllIpossessisfreelyyours。Allthatyouhavegivenme，isatyourcommandtohaveagain。Beyondthat，Ihavenothing。
Andifyouaskmetogiveyouwhatyounevergaveme，mygratitudeanddutycannotdoimpossibilities。\'
`DidInevergiveherlove！\'criedMissHavisham，turningwildlytome。`DidInevergiveheraburninglove，inseparablefromjealousyatalltimes，andfromsharppain，whileshespeaksthustome！Lethercallmemad，lethercallmemad！\'
`WhyshouldIcallyoumad，\'returnedEstella，`I，ofallpeople？Doesanyonelive，whoknowswhatsetpurposesyouhave，halfaswellasIdo？
Doesanyonelive，whoknowswhatasteadymemoryyouhave，halfaswellasIdo？Iwhohavesatonthissamehearthonthelittlestoolthatisevennowbesideyouthere，learningyourlessonsandlookingupintoyourface，whenyourfacewasstrangeandfrightenedme！\'
`Soonforgotten！\'moanedMissHavisham。`Timessoonforgotten！\'
`No，notforgotten，\'retortedEstella。`Notforgotten，buttreasuredupinmymemory。Whenhaveyoufoundmefalsetoyourteaching？Whenhaveyoufoundmeunmindfulofyourlessons？Whenhaveyoufoundmegivingadmissionhere，\'shetouchedherbosomwithherhand，`toanythingthatyouexcluded？
Bejusttome。\'
`Soproud，soproud！\'moanedMissHavisham，pushingawayhergreyhairwithbothherhands。
`Whotaughtmetobeproud？\'returnedEstella。`WhopraisedmewhenIlearntmylesson？\'
`Sohard，sohard！\'moanedMissHavisham，withherformeraction。
`Whotaughtmetobehard？\'returnedEstella。`WhopraisedmewhenI
learntmylesson？\'
`Buttobeproudandhardtome！\'MissHavishamquiteshrieked，asshestretchedoutherarms。`Estella，Estella，Estella，tobeproudandhardtome！\'
Estellalookedatherforamomentwithakindofcalmwonder，butwasnototherwisedisturbed；whenthemomentwaspast，shelookeddownatthefireagain。
`Icannotthink，\'saidEstella，raisinghereyesafterasilence`whyyoushouldbesounreasonablewhenIcometoseeyouafteraseparation。
Ihaveneverforgottenyourwrongsandtheircauses。Ihaveneverbeenunfaithfultoyouoryourschooling。IhavenevershownanyweaknessthatIcanchargemyselfwith。\'
`Woulditbeweaknesstoreturnmylove？\'exclaimedMissHavisham。`Butyes，yes，shewouldcallitso！\'
`Ibegintothink，\'saidEstella，inamusingway，afteranothermomentofcalmwonder，`thatIalmostunderstandhowthiscomesabout。Ifyouhadbroughtupyouradopteddaughterwhollyinthedarkconfinementoftheserooms，andhadneverletherknowthattherewassuchathingasthedaylightbywhichshehasneveronceseenyourface-ifyouhaddonethat，andthen，forapurposehadwantedhertounderstandthedaylightandknowallaboutit，youwouldhavebeendisappointedandangry？\'
MissHavisham，withherheadinherhands，satmakingalowmoaning，andswayingherselfonherchair，butgavenoanswer。
`Or，\'saidEstella，`-whichisanearercase-ifyouhadtaughther，fromthedawnofherintelligence，withyourutmostenergyandmight，thattherewassuchathingasdaylight，butthatitwasmadetobeherenemyanddestroyer，andshemustalwaysturnagainstit，forithadblightedyouandwouldelseblighther；-ifyouhaddonethis，andthen，forapurpose，hadwantedhertotakenaturallytothedaylightandshecouldnotdoit，youwouldhavebeendisappointedandangry？\'
MissHavishamsatlisteningoritseemedso，forIcouldnotseeherface，butstillmadenoanswer。
`So，\'saidEstella，`ImustbetakenasIhavebeenmade。Thesuccessisnotmine，thefailureisnotmine，butthetwotogethermakeme。\'
MissHavishamhadsettleddown，Ihardlyknewhow，uponthefloor，amongthefadedbridalrelicswithwhichitwasstrewn。Itookadvantageofthemoment-Ihadsoughtonefromthefirst-toleavetheroom，afterbeseechingEstella\'sattentiontoher，withamovementofmyhand。WhenIleft，Estellawasyetstandingbythegreatchimney-piece，justasshehadstoodthroughout。
MissHavisham\'sgreyhairwasalladriftupontheground，amongtheotherbridalwrecks，andwasamiserablesighttosee。
ItwaswithadepressedheartthatIwalkedinthestarlightforanhourandmore，aboutthecourt-yard，andaboutthebrewery，andabouttheruinedgarden。WhenIatlasttookcouragetoreturntotheroom，IfoundEstellasittingatMissHavisham\'sknee，takingupsomestitchesinoneofthoseoldarticlesofdressthatweredroppingtopieces，andofwhichIhaveoftenbeenremindedsincebythefadedtattersofoldbannersthatIhaveseenhangingupincathedrals。Afterwards，EstellaandIplayedatcards，asofyore-onlywewereskilfulnow，andplayedFrenchgames-andsotheeveningworeaway，andIwenttobed。
Ilayinthatseparatebuildingacrossthecourt-yard。ItwasthefirsttimeIhadeverlaindowntorestinSatisHouse，andsleeprefusedtocomenearme。AthousandMissHavishamshauntedme。Shewasonthissideofmypillow，onthat，attheheadofthebed，atthefoot，behindthehalf-openeddoorofthedressing-room，inthedressing-room，intheroomoverhead，intheroombeneath-everywhere。Atlast，whenthenightwasslowtocreepontowardstwoo\'clock，IfeltthatIabsolutelycouldnolongerbeartheplaceasaplacetoliedownin，andthatImustgetup。
Ithereforegotupandputonmyclothes，andwentoutacrosstheyardintothelongstonepassage，designingtogaintheoutercourt-yardandwalkthereforthereliefofmymind。But，IwasnosoonerinthepassagethanIextinguishedmycandle；for，IsawMissHavishamgoingalongitinaghostlymanner，makingalowcry。Ifollowedheratadistance，andsawhergoupthestaircase。Shecarriedabarecandleinherhand，whichshehadprobablytakenfromoneofthesconcesinherownroom，andwasamostunearthlyobjectbyitslight。Standingatthebottomofthestaircase，Ifeltthemildewedairofthefeast-chamber，withoutseeingheropenthedoor，andIheardherwalkingthere，andsoacrossintoherownroom，andsoacrossagainintothat，neverceasingthelowcry。Afteratime，Itriedinthedarkbothtogetout，andtogoback，butIcoulddoneitheruntilsomestreaksofdaystrayedinandshowedmewheretolaymyhands。Duringthewholeinterval，wheneverIwenttothebottomofthestaircase，Iheardherfootstep，sawherlightpassabove，andheardherceaselesslowcry。
Beforeweleftnextday，therewasnorevivalofthedifferencebetweenherandEstella，norwasiteverrevivedonanysimilaroccasion；andtherewerefoursimilaroccasions，tothebestofmyremembrance。Nor，didMissHavisham\'smannertowardsEstellainanywisechange，exceptthatIbelievedittohavesomethinglikefearinfusedamongitsformercharacteristics。
Itisimpossibletoturnthisleafofmylife，withoutputtingBentleyDrummle\'snameuponit；orIwould，verygladly。
OnacertainoccasionwhentheFincheswereassembledinforce，andwhengoodfeelingwasbeingpromotedintheusualmannerbynobody\'sagreeingwithanybodyelse，thepresidingFinchcalledtheGrovetoorder，forasmuchasMrDrummlehadnotyettoastedalady；which，accordingtothesolemnconstitutionofthesociety，itwasthebrute\'sturntodothatday。I
thoughtIsawhimleerinanuglywayatmewhilethedecantersweregoinground，butastherewasnolovelostbetweenus，thatmighteasilybe。
Whatwasmyindignantsurprisewhenhecalleduponthecompanytopledgehimto`Estella！\'
`Estellawho？\'saidI。
`Neveryoumind，\'retortedDrummle。
`Estellaofwhere？\'saidI。`Youareboundtosayofwhere。\'Whichhewas，asaFinch。
`OfRichmond，gentlemen，\'saidDrummle，puttingmeoutofthequestion，`andapeerlessbeauty。\'
Muchheknewaboutpeerlessbeauties，ameanmiserableidiot！IwhisperedHerbert。
`Iknowthatlady，\'saidHerbert，acrossthetable，whenthetoasthadbeenhonoured。
`Doyou？\'saidDrummle。
`AndsodoI，\'Iadded，withascarletface。
`Doyou？\'saidDrummle。`Oh，Lord！\'
Thiswastheonlyretort-exceptglassorcrockery-thattheheavycreaturewascapableofmaking；but，Ibecameashighlyincensedbyitasifithadbeenbarbedwithwit，andIimmediatelyroseinmyplaceandsaidthatIcouldnotbutregarditasbeinglikethehonourableFinch\'simpudencetocomedowntothatGrove-wealwaystalkedaboutcomingdowntothatGrove，asaneatParliamentaryturnofexpression-downtothatGrove，proposingaladyofwhomheknewnothing。MrDrummleuponthis，startingup，demandedwhatImeantbythat？Whereupon，ImadehimtheextremereplythatIbelievedheknewwhereIwastobefound。
WhetheritwaspossibleinaChristiancountrytogetonwithoutblood，afterthis，wasaquestiononwhichtheFinchesweredivided。Thedebateuponitgrewsolively，indeed，thatatleastsixmorehonourablememberstoldsixmore，duringthediscussion，thattheybelievedtheyknewwheretheyweretobefound。However，itwasdecidedatlasttheGrovebeingaCourtofHonourthatifMrDrummlewouldbringneversoslightacertificatefromthelady，importingthathehadthehonourofheracquaintance，MrPipmustexpresshisregret，asagentlemanandaFinch，for`havingbeenbetrayedintoawarmthwhich。\'Nextdaywasappointedfortheproductionlestourhonourshouldtakecoldfromdelay，andnextdayDrummleappearedwithapolitelittleavowalinEstella\'shand，thatshehadhadthehonourofdancingwithhimseveraltimes。ThisleftmenocoursebuttoregretthatIhadbeen`betrayedintoawarmthwhich，\'
andonthewholetorepudiate，asuntenable，theideathatIwastobefoundanywhere。DrummleandIthensatsnortingatoneanotherforanhour，whiletheGroveengagedinindiscriminatecontradiction，andfinallythepromotionofgoodfeelingwasdeclaredtohavegoneaheadatanamazingrate。
Itellthislightly，butitwasnolightthingtome。For，IcannotadequatelyexpresswhatpainitgavemetothinkthatEstellashouldshowanyfavourtoacontemptible，clumsy，sulkybooby，soveryfarbelowtheaverage。Tothepresentmoment，Ibelieveittohavebeenreferabletosomepurefireofgenerosityanddisinterestednessinmyloveforher，thatIcouldnotendurethethoughtofherstoopingtothathound。NodoubtIshouldhavebeenmiserablewhomsoevershehadfavoured；butaworthierobjectwouldhavecausedmeadifferentkindanddegreesofdistress。
Itwaseasyformetofindout，andIdidsoonfindout，thatDrummlehadbeguntofollowherclosely，andthatsheallowedhimtodoit。Alittlewhile，andhewasalwaysinpursuitofher，andheandIcrossedoneanothereveryday。Heheldon，inadullpersistentway，andEstellaheldhimon；
nowwithencouragement，nowwithdiscouragement，nowalmostflatteringhim，nowopenlydespisinghim，nowknowinghimverywell，nowscarcelyrememberingwhohewas。
TheSpider，asMrJaggershadcalledhim，wasusedtolyinginwait，however，andhadthepatienceofhistribe。Addedtothat，hehadablockheadconfidenceinhismoneyandinhisfamilygreatness，whichsometimesdidhimgoodservice-almosttakingtheplaceofconcentrationanddeterminedpurpose。So，theSpider，doggedlywatchingEstella，outwatchedmanybrighterinsects，andwouldoftenuncoilhimselfanddropattherightnickoftime。
AtacertainAssemblyBallatRichmondthereusedtobeAssemblyBallsatmostplacesthen，whereEstellahadoutshoneallotherbeauties，thisblunderingDrummlesohungabouther，andwithsomuchtolerationonherpart，thatIresolvedtospeaktoherconcerninghim。Itookthenextopportunity:
whichwaswhenshewaswaitingforMrsBrandleytotakeherhome，andwassittingapartamongsomeflowers，readytogo。Iwaswithher，forIalmostalwaysaccompaniedthemtoandfromsuchplaces。
`Areyoutired，Estella？\'
`Rather，Pip。\'
`Youshouldbe。\'
`Sayrather，Ishouldnotbe；forIhavemylettertoSatisHousetowrite，beforeIgotosleep。\'
`Recountingto-night\'striumph？\'saidI。`Surelyaverypoorone，Estella。\'
`Whatdoyoumean？Ididn\'tknowtherehadbeenany。\'
`Estella，\'saidI，`dolookatthatfellowinthecorneryonder，whoislookingoverhereatus。\'
`WhyshouldIlookathim？\'returnedEstella，withhereyesonmeinstead。
`Whatisthereinthatfellowinthecorneryonder-touseyourwords-thatIneedlookat？\'
`Indeed，thatistheveryquestionIwanttoaskyou，\'saidI。`Forhehasbeenhoveringaboutyouallnight。\'
`Moths，andallsortsofuglycreatures，\'repliedEstella，withaglancetowardshim，`hoveraboutalightedcandle。Canthecandlehelpit？\'
`No，\'Ireturned；`butcannottheEstellahelpit？\'
`Well！\'saidshe，laughing，afteramoment，`perhaps。Yes。Anythingyoulike。\'
`But，Estella，dohearmespeak。ItmakesmewretchedthatyoushouldencourageamansogenerallydespisedasDrummle。Youknowheisdespised。\'
`Well？\'saidshe。
`Youknowheisasungainlywithin，aswithout。Adeficient，illtempered，lowering，stupidfellow。\'
`Well？\'saidshe。
`Youknowhehasnothingtorecommendhimbutmoney，andaridiculousrollofaddle-headedpredecessors；now，don\'tyou？\'
`Well？\'saidsheagain；andeachtimeshesaidit，sheopenedherlovelyeyesthewider。
Toovercomethedifficultyofgettingpastthatmonosyllable，Itookitfromher，andsaid，repeatingitwithemphasis，`Well！Then，thatiswhyitmakesmewretched。\'
Now，ifIcouldhavebelievedthatshefavouredDrummlewithanyideaofmakingme-me-wretched，Ishouldhavebeeninbetterheartaboutit；butinthathabitualwayofhers，sheputmesoentirelyoutofthequestion，thatIcouldbelievenothingofthekind。
`Pip，\'saidEstella，castingherglanceovertheroom，`don\'tbefoolishaboutitseffectonyou。Itmayhaveitseffectonothers，andmaybemeanttohave。It\'snotworthdiscussing。\'
`Yesitis，\'saidI，`becauseIcannotbearthatpeopleshouldsay，\"shethrowsawayhergracesandattractionsonamereboor，thelowestinthecrowd。\"\'
`Icanbearit，\'saidEstella。
`Oh！don\'tbesoproud，Estella，andsoinflexible。\'
`Callsmeproudandinflexibleinthisbreath！\'saidEstella，openingherhands。`Andinhislastbreathreproachedmeforstoopingtoaboor！\'
`Thereisnodoubtyoudo，\'saidI，somethinghurriedly，`forIhaveseenyougivehimlooksandsmilesthisverynight，suchasyounevergiveto-me。\'
`Doyouwantmethen，\'saidEstella，turningsuddenlywithafixedandserious，ifnotangry，look，`todeceiveandentrapyou？\'
`Doyoudeceiveandentraphim，Estella？\'
`Yes，andmanyothers-allofthembutyou。HereisMrsBrandley。I\'llsaynomore。\'
AndnowthatIhavegiventheonechaptertothethemethatsofilledmyheart，andsooftenmadeitacheandacheagain，Ipasson，unhindered，totheeventthathadimpendedovermelongeryet；theeventthathadbeguntobepreparedfor，beforeIknewthattheworldheldEstella，andinthedayswhenherbabyintelligencewasreceivingitsfirstdistortionsfromMissHavisham\'swastinghands。
IntheEasternstory，theheavyslabthatwastofallonthebedofstateintheflushofconquestwasslowlywroughtoutofthequarry，thetunnelfortheropetoholditinitsplacewasslowlycarriedthroughtheleaguesofrock，theslabwasslowlyraisedandfittedintheroof，theropewasrovetoitandslowlytakenthroughthemilesofhollowtothegreatironring。Allbeingmadereadywithmuchlabour，andthehourcome，thesultanwasarousedinthedeadofthenight，andthesharpenedaxethatwastosevertheropefromthegreatironringwasputintohishand，andhestruckwithit，andtheropepartedandrushedaway，andtheceilingfell。So，inmycase；allthework，nearandafar，thattendedtotheend，hadbeenaccomplished；andinaninstanttheblowwasstruck，andtheroofofmystrongholddroppeduponme。
Chapter39
IWASthree-and-twentyyearsofage。NotanotherwordhadIheardtoenlightenmeonthesubjectofmyexpectations，andmytwenty-thirdbirthdaywasaweekgone。WehadleftBarnard\'sInnmorethanayear，andlivedintheTemple。OurchamberswereinGarden-court，downbytheriver。
MrPocketandIhadforsometimepartedcompanyastoouroriginalrelations，thoughwecontinuedonthebesttermsNotwithstandingmyinabilitytosettletoanything-whichIhopearoseoutoftherestlessandincompletetenureonwhichIheldmymeans-Ihadatasteforreading，andreadregularlysomanyhoursaday。ThatmatterofHerbert\'swasstillprogressing，andeverythingwithmewasasIhavebroughtitdowntothecloseofthelastprecedingchapter。
BusinesshadtakenHerbertonajourneytoMarseilles。Iwasalone，andhadadullsenseofbeingalone。Dispiritedandanxious，longhopingthatto-morrowornextweekwouldclearmyway，andlongdisappointed，Isadlymissedthecheerfulfaceandreadyresponseofmyfriend。
Itwaswretchedweather；stormyandwet，stormyandwet；andmud，mud，mud，deepinallthestreets。Dayafterday，avastheavyveilhadbeendrivingoverLondonfromtheEast，anditdrovestill，asifintheEasttherewereanEternityofcloudandwind。Sofurioushadbeenthegusts，thathighbuildingsintownhadhadtheleadstrippedofftheirroofs；
andinthecountry，treeshadbeentornup，andsailsofwindmillscarriedaway；andgloomyaccountshadcomeinfromthecoast，ofshipwreckanddeath。Violentblastsofrainhadaccompaniedtheseragesofwind，andthedayjustclosedasIsatdowntoreadhadbeentheworstofall。
AlterationshavebeenmadeinthatpartoftheTemplesincethattime，andithasnotnowsolonelyacharacterasithadthen，norisitsoexposedtotheriver。Welivedatthetopofthelasthouse，andthewindrushinguptherivershookthehousethatnight，likedischargesofcannon，orbreakingsofasea。Whentheraincamewithitanddashedagainstthewindows，Ithought，raisingmyeyestothemastheyrocked，thatImighthavefanciedmyselfinastorm-beatenlight-house。Occasionally，thesmokecamerollingdownthechimneyasthoughitcouldnotbeartogooutintosuchanight；
andwhenIsetthedoorsopenandlookeddownthestaircase，thestaircaselampswereblownout；andwhenIshadedmyfacewithmyhandsandlookedthroughtheblackwindowsopeningthemeversolittle，wasoutofthequestionintheteethofsuchwindandrainIsawthatthelampsinthecourtwereblownout，andthatthelampsonthebridgesandtheshorewereshuddering，andthatthecoalfiresinbargesontheriverwerebeingcarriedawaybeforethewindlikered-hotsplashesintherain。
Ireadwithmywatchuponthetable，purposingtoclosemybookateleveno\'clock。AsIshutit，SaintPaul\'s，andallthemanychurch-clocksintheCity-someleading，someaccompanying，somefollowing-struckthathour。Thesoundwascuriouslyflawedbythewind；andIwaslistening，andthinkinghowthewindassailedandtoreit，whenIheardafootsteponthestair。
Whatnervousfollymademestart，andawfullyconnectitwiththefootstepofmydeadsister，mattersnot。Itwaspastinamoment，andIlistenedagain，andheardthefootstepstumbleincomingon。Rememberingthen，thatthestaircase-lightswereblownout，Itookupmyreading-lampandwentouttothestair-head。Whoeverwasbelowhadstoppedonseeingmylamp，forallwasquiet。
`Thereissomeonedownthere，istherenot？\'Icalledout，lookingdown。
`Yes，\'saidavoicefromthedarknessbeneath。
`Whatfloordoyouwant？\'
`Thetop。MrPip。\'
`Thatismyname-Thereisnothingthematter？\'
`Nothingthematter，\'returnedthevoice。Andthemancameon。
Istoodwithmylampheldoutoverthestair-rail，andhecameslowlywithinitslight。Itwasashadedlamp，toshineuponabook，anditscircleoflightwasverycontracted；sothathewasinitforamereinstant，andthenoutofit。Intheinstant，Ihadseenafacethatwasstrangetome，lookingupwithanincomprehensibleairofbeingtouchedandpleasedbythesightofme。
Movingthelampasthemanmoved，Imadeoutthathewassubstantiallydressed，butroughly；likeavoyagerbysea。Thathehadlongiron-greyhair。Thathisagewasaboutsixty。Thathewasamuscularman，strongonhislegs，andthathewasbrownedandhardenedbyexposuretoweather。
Asheascendedthelaststairortwo，andthelightofmylampincludedusboth，Isaw，withastupidkindofamazement，thathewasholdingoutbothhishandstome。
`Praywhatisyourbusiness？\'Iaskedhim。
`Mybusiness？\'herepeated，pausing。`Ah！Yes。Iwillexplainmybusiness，byyourleave。\'
`Doyouwishtocomein？\'
`Yes，\'hereplied；`Iwishtocomein，Master。\'
Ihadaskedhimthequestioninhospitablyenough，forIresentedthesortofbrightandgratifiedrecognitionthatstillshoneinhisface。
Iresentedit，becauseitseemedtoimplythatheexpectedmetorespondtoit。But，ItookhimintotheroomIhadjustleft，and，havingsetthelamponthetable，askedhimascivillyasIcould，toexplainhimself。
Helookedabouthimwiththestrangestair-anairofwonderingpleasure，asifhehadsomepartinthethingsheadmired-andhepulledoffaroughoutercoat，andhishat。Then，Isawthathisheadwasfurrowedandbald，andthatthelongiron-greyhairgrewonlyonitssides。But，Isawnothingthatintheleastexplainedhim。Onthecontrary，Isawhimnextmoment，oncemoreholdingoutbothhishandstome。
`Whatdoyoumean？\'saidI，halfsuspectinghimtobemad。
Hestoppedinhislookingatme，andslowlyrubbedhisrighthandoverhishead。`It\'sdisapintingtoaman，\'hesaid，inacoarsebrokenvoice，`arterhavinglookedfor\'ardsodistant，andcomesofur；butyou\'renottoblameforthat-neitheronusistoblameforthat。I\'llspeakinhalfaminute。Givemehalfaminute，please。\'
Hesatdownonachairthatstoodbeforethefire，andcoveredhisforeheadwithhislargebrownveinoushands。Ilookedathimattentivelythen，andrecoiledalittlefromhim；butIdidnotknowhim。
`There\'snoonenigh，\'saidhe，lookingoverhisshoulder；`isthere？\'
`Whydoyou，astrangercomingintomyroomsatthistimeofthenight，askthatquestion？\'saidI。
`You\'reagameone，\'hereturned，shakinghisheadatmewithadeliberateaffection，atoncemostunintelligibleandmostexasperating；`I\'mgladyou\'vegrow\'dup，agameone！Butdon\'tcatchholdofme。You\'dbesorryarterwardstohavedoneit。\'
Irelinquishedtheintentionhehaddetected，forIknewhim！Evenyet，Icouldnotrecallasinglefeature，butIknewhim！Ifthewindandtherainhaddrivenawaytheinterveningyears，hadscatteredalltheinterveningobjects，hadsweptustothechurchyardwherewefirststoodfacetofaceonsuchdifferentlevels，IcouldnothaveknownmyconvictmoredistinctlythanIknewhimnowashesatinthechairbeforethefire。Noneedtotakeafilefromhispocketandshowittome；noneedtotakethehandkerchieffromhisneckandtwistitroundhishead；noneedtohughimselfwithbothhisarms，andtakeashiveringturnacrosstheroom，lookingbackatmeforrecognition。Iknewhimbeforehegavemeoneofthoseaids，though，amomentbefore，Ihadnotbeenconsciousofremotelysuspectinghisidentity。
HecamebacktowhereIstood，andagainheldoutbothhishands。Notknowingwhattodo-for，inmyastonishmentIhadlostmyself-possession-Ireluctantlygavehimmyhands。Hegraspedthemheartily，raisedthemtohislips，kissedthem，andstillheldthem。
`Youactednoble，myboy，\'saidhe。`Noble，Pip！AndIhaveneverforgotit！\'
Atachangeinhismannerasifhewereevengoingtoembraceme，I
laidahanduponhisbreastandputhimaway。
`Stay！\'saidI。`Keepoff！IfyouaregratefultomeforwhatIdidwhenIwasalittlechild，Ihopeyouhaveshownyourgratitudebymendingyourwayoflife。Ifyouhavecomeheretothankme，itwasnotnecessary。
Still，howeveryouhavefoundmeout，theremustbesomethinggoodinthefeelingthathasbroughtyouhere，andIwillnotrepulseyou；butsurelyyoumustunderstandthat-I——\'
Myattentionwassoattractedbythesingularityofhisfixedlookatme，thatthewordsdiedawayonmytongue。
`Youwasasaying，\'heobserved，whenwehadconfrontedoneanotherinsilence，`thatsurelyImustunderstand。What，surelymustIunderstand？\'
`ThatIcannotwishtorenewthatchanceintercoursewithyouoflongago，underthesedifferentcircumstances。Iamgladtobelieveyouhaverepentedandrecoveredyourself。Iamgladtotellyouso。Iamgladthat，thinkingIdeservetobethanked，youhavecometothankme。Butourwaysaredifferentways，nonetheless。Youarewet，andyoulookweary。Willyoudrinksomethingbeforeyougo？\'
Hehadreplacedhisneckerchiefloosely，andhadstood，keenlyobservantofme，bitingalongendofit。`Ithink，\'heanswered，stillwiththeendathismouthandstillobservantofme，`thatIwilldrinkI
thankyouaforeIgo。\'
Therewasatrayreadyonaside-table。Ibroughtittothetablenearthefire，andaskedhimwhathewouldhave？Hetouchedoneofthebottleswithoutlookingatitorspeaking，andImadehimsomehotrum-and-water。
ItriedtokeepmyhandsteadywhileIdidso，buthislookatmeasheleanedbackinhischairwiththelongdraggledendofhisneckerchiefbetweenhisteeth-evidentlyforgotten-mademyhandverydifficulttomaster。WhenatlastIputtheglasstohim，Isawwithamazementthathiseyeswerefulloftears。
UptothistimeIhadremainedstanding，nottodisguisethatIwishedhimgone。ButIwassoftenedbythesoftenedaspectoftheman，andfeltatouchofreproach。`Ihope，\'saidI，hurriedlyputtingsomethingintoaglassformyself，anddrawingachairtothetable，`thatyouwillnotthinkIspokeharshlytoyoujustnow。Ihadnointentionofdoingit，andIamsorryforitifIdid。Iwishyouwell，andhappy！\'
AsIputmyglasstomylips，heglancedwithsurpriseattheendofhisneckerchief，droppingfromhismouthwhenheopenedit，andstretchedouthishand。Igavehimmine，andthenhedrank，anddrewhissleeveacrosshiseyesandforehead。
`Howareyouliving？\'Iaskedhim。
`I\'vebeenasheep-farmer，stock-breeder，othertradesbesides，awayinthenewworld，\'saidhe:`manyathousandmileofstormywaterofffromthis。\'
`Ihopeyouhavedonewell？\'
`I\'vedonewonderfullywell。There\'sotherswentoutalongermeashasdonewelltoo，butnomanhasdonenighaswellasme。I\'mfamousforit。\'
`Iamgladtohearit。\'
`Ihopetohearyousayso，mydearboy。\'
Withoutstoppingtotrytounderstandthosewordsorthetoneinwhichtheywerespoken，Iturnedofftoapointthathadjustcomeintomymind。
`Haveyoueverseenamessengeryouoncesenttome，\'Iinquired，`sinceheundertookthattrust？\'
`Neverseteyesuponhim。Iwarn\'tlikelytoit。\'
`Hecamefaithfully，andhebroughtmethetwoone-poundnotes。Iwasapoorboythen，asyouknow，andtoapoorboytheywerealittlefortune。
But，likeyou，Ihavedonewellsince，andyoumustletmepaythemback。
Youcanputthemtosomeotherpoorboy\'suse。\'Itookoutmypurse。
HewatchedmeasIlaidmypurseuponthetableandopenedit，andhewatchedmeasIseparatedtwoone-poundnotesfromitscontents。Theywerecleanandnew，andIspreadthemoutandhandedthemovertohim。Stillwatchingme，helaidthemoneupontheother，foldedthemlong-wise，gavethematwist，setfiretothematthelamp，anddroppedtheashesintothetray。
`MayImakesobold，\'hesaidthen，withasmilethatwaslikeafrown，andwithafrownthatwaslikeasmile，`asaskyouhowyouhavedonewell，sinceyouandmewasoutonthemloneshiveringmarshes？\'
`How？\'
`Ah！\'
Heemptiedhisglass，gotup，andstoodatthesideofthefire，withhisheavybrownhandonthemantelshelf。Heputafootuptothebars，todryandwarmit，andthewetbootbegantosteam；but，heneitherlookedatit，noratthefire，butsteadilylookedatme。ItwasonlynowthatIbegantotremble。
Whenmylipshadparted，andhadshapedsomewordsthatwerewithoutsound，IforcedmyselftotellhimthoughIcouldnotdoitdistinctly，thatIhadbeenchosentosucceedtosomeproperty。
`Mightamerewarmintaskwhatproperty？\'saidhe。
Ifaltered，`Idon\'tknow。\'
`Mightamerewarmintaskwhoseproperty？\'saidhe。
Ifalteredagain，`Idon\'tknow。\'
`CouldImakeaguess，Iwonder，\'saidtheConvict，`atyourincomesinceyoucomeofage！Astothefirstfigurenow。Five？\'
Withmyheartbeatinglikeaheavyhammerofdisorderedaction，Iroseoutofmychair，andstoodwithmyhanduponthebackofit，lookingwildlyathim。
`Concerningaguardian，\'hewenton。`Thereoughttohavebeensomeguardian，orsuch-like，whilesyouwasaminor。Somelawyer，maybe。Astothefirstletterofthatlawyer\'snamenow。WoulditbeJ？\'
Allthetruthofmypositioncameflashingonme；anditsdisappointments，dangers，disgraces，consequencesofallkinds，rushedininsuchamultitudethatIwasbornedownbythemandhadtostruggleforeverybreathIdrew。
`Putit，\'heresumed，`astheemployerofthatlawyerwhosenamebegunwithaJ，andmightbeJaggers-putitashehadcomeoverseatoPortsmouth，andhadlandedthere，andhadwantedtocomeontoyou。\"However，youhavefoundmeout，\"yousaysjustnow。Well！However，didIfindyouout？Why，IwrotefromPortsmouthtoapersoninLondon，forparticularsofyouraddress。Thatperson\'sname？Why，Wemmick。\'
Icouldnothavespokenoneword，thoughithadbeentosavemylife。
Istood，withahandonthechair-backandahandonmybreast，whereI
seemedtobesuffocating-Istoodso，lookingwildlyathim，untilIgraspedatthechair，whentheroombegantosurgeandturn。Hecaughtme，drewmetothesofa，putmeupagainstthecushions，andbentononekneebeforeme:bringingthefacethatInowwellremembered，andthatIshudderedat，veryneartomine。
`Yes，Pip，dearboy，I\'vemadeagentlemanonyou！It\'smewothasdoneit！Isworethattime，sureaseverIearnedaguinea，thatguineashouldgotoyou。Isworearterwards，sureaseverIspec\'latedandgotrich，youshouldgetrich。Ilivedrough，thatyoushouldlivesmooth；Iworkedhard，thatyoushouldbeabovework。Whatodds，dearboy？DoItellit，furyoutofeelaobligation？Notabit。Itellit，furyoutoknowasthattherehunteddunghilldogwotyoukeplifein，gothisheadsohighthathecouldmakeagentleman-and，Pip，you\'rehim！\'
TheabhorrenceinwhichIheldtheman，thedreadIhadofhim，therepugnancewithwhichIshrankfromhim，couldnothavebeenexceededifhehadbeensometerriblebeast。
`Look\'eehere，Pip。I\'myoursecondfather。You\'remyson-moretomenoranyson。I\'veputawaymoney，onlyforyoutospend。WhenIwasahired-outshepherdinasolitaryhut，notseeingnofacesbutfacesofsheeptillIhalfforgotwotmen\'sandwomen\'sfaceswoslike，Iseeyourn。
IdropsmyknifemanyatimeinthathutwhenIwasaeatingmydinnerormysupper，andIsays，\"Here\'stheboyagain，alookingatmewhilesIeatsanddrinks！\"Iseeyouthereamanytimes，asplainaseverIseeyouonthemmistymarshes。\"Lordstrikemedead！\"Isayseachtime-andIgoesoutintheairtosayitundertheopenheavens-\"butwot，ifI
getslibertyandmoney，I\'llmakethatboyagentleman！\"AndIdoneit。
Why，lookatyou，dearboy！Lookattheseherelodgingso\'yourn，fitforalord！Alord？Ah！Youshallshowmoneywithlordsforwagers，andbeat\'
em！\'
Inhisheatandtriumph，andinhisknowledgethatIhadbeennearlyfainting，hedidnotremarkonmyreceptionofallthis。ItwastheonegrainofreliefIhad。
`Look\'eehere！\'hewenton，takingmywatchoutofmypocket，andturningtowardshimaringonmyfinger，whileIrecoiledfromhistouchasifhehadbeenasnake，`agold\'unandabeauty:that\'sagentleman\'s，Ihope！Adiamondallsetroundwithrubies；that\'sagentleman\'s，Ihope！Lookatyourlinen；fineandbeautiful！Lookatyourclothes；betterain\'ttobegot！Andyourbookstoo，\'turninghiseyesroundtheroom，`mountingup，ontheirshelves，byhundreds！Andyouread\'em；don\'tyou？
Iseeyou\'dbeenareadingof\'emwhenIcomein。Ha，ha，ha！Youshallread\'emtome，dearboy！Andifthey\'reinforeignlanguageswotIdon\'tunderstand，IshallbejustasproudasifIdid。\'
Againhetookbothmyhandsandputthemtohislips，whilemybloodrancoldwithinme。
`Don\'tyoumindtalking，Pip，\'saidhe，afteragaindrawinghissleeveoverhiseyesandforehead，astheclickcameinhisthroatwhichIwellremembered-andhewasallthemorehorribletomethathewassomuchinearnest；`youcan\'tdobetternorkeepquiet，dearboy。Youain\'tlookedslowlyforwardtothisasIhave；youwosn\'tpreparedforthis，asIwos。
Butdidn\'tyouneverthinkitmightbeme？\'
`Ono，no，no，\'Ireturned，`Never，never！\'
`Well，youseeitwosme，andsingle-handed。NeverasoulinitbutmyownselfandMrJaggers。\'
`Wastherenooneelse？\'Iasked。
`No，\'saidhe，withaglanceofsurprise:`whoelseshouldtherebe？
And，dearboy，howgoodlookingyouhavegrowed！There\'sbrighteyessomewheres-eh？Isn\'ttherebrighteyessomewheres，wotyoulovethethoughtson？\'
OEstella，Estella！
`Theyshallbeyourn，dearboy，ifmoneycanbuy\'em。Notthatagentlemanlikeyou，sowellsetupasyou，can\'twin\'emoffofhisowngame；butmoneyshallbackyou！LetmefinishwotIwasatellingyou，dearboy。
Fromthattherehutandthattherehiringout，Igotmoneyleftmebymymasterwhichdied，andhadbeenthesameasme，andgotmylibertyandwentformyself。IneverysinglethingIwentfor，Iwentforyou。\"Lordstrikeablightuponit，\"Isays，woteveritwasIwentfor，\"ifitain\'tforhim！\"Itallprosperedwonderful。AsIgiv\'youtounderstandjustnow，I\'mfamousforit。Itwasthemoneyleftme，andthegainsofthefirstfewyearwotIsenthometoMrJaggers-allforyou-whenhefirstcomearteryou，agreeabletomyletter。\'
O，thathehadnevercome！Thathehadleftmeattheforge-farfromcontented，yet，bycomparisonhappy！
`Andthen，dearboy，itwasarecompensetome，look\'eehere，toknowinsecretthatIwasmakingagentleman。ThebloodhorsesofthemcolonistsmightflingupthedustovermeasIwaswalking；whatdoIsay？Isaystomyself，\"I\'mmakingabettergentlemannoreveryou\'llbe！\"Whenoneof\'emsaystoanother，\"Hewasaconvict，afewyearago，andisaignorantcommonfellownow，forallhe\'slucky，\"whatdoIsay？Isaystomyself，\"IfIain\'tagentleman，noryetain\'tgotnolearning，I\'mtheownerofsuch。Allonyouownsstockandland；whichonyouownsabrought-upLondongentleman？\"ThiswasIkepmyselfagoing。AndthiswayIheldsteadyaforemymindthatIwouldforcertaincomeonedayandseemyboy，andmakemyselfknowntohim，onhisownground。\'
Helaidhishandonmyshoulder。IshudderedatthethoughtthatforanythingIknew，hishandmightbestainedwithblood。
`Itwarn\'teasy，Pip，formetoleavethemparts，noryetitwarn\'tsafe。ButIheldtoit，andtheharderitwas，thestrongerIheld，forIwasdetermined，andmymindfirmmadeup。AtlastIdoneit。Dearboy，Idoneit！\'
Itriedtocollectmythoughts，butIwasstunned。Throughout，Ihadseemedtomyselftoattendmoretothewindandtherainthantohim；evennow，Icouldnotseparatehisvoicefromthosevoices，thoughthosewereloudandhiswassilent。
`Wherewillyouputme？\'heasked，presently。`Imustbeputsomewheres，dearboy。\'
`Tosleep？\'saidI。
`Yes。Andtosleeplongandsound，\'heanswered；`forI\'vebeensea-tossedandsea-washed，monthsandmonths。\'
`Myfriendandcompanion，\'saidI，risingfromthesofa，`isabsent；
youmusthavehisroom。\'
`Hewon\'tcomebackto-morrow；willhe？\'
`No，\'saidI，answeringalmostmechanically，inspiteofmyutmostefforts；
`notto-morrow。\'
`Because，look\'eehere，dearboy，\'hesaid，droppinghisvoice，andlayingalongfingeronmybreastinanimpressivemanner，`cautionisnecessary。\'
`Howdoyoumean？Caution？\'
`ByG-，it\'sDeath！\'
`What\'sdeath？\'
`Iwassentforlife。It\'sdeathtocomeback。There\'sbeenovermuchcomingbackoflateyears，andIshouldofacertaintybehangediftook。\'
Nothingwasneededbutthis；thewretchedman，afterloadingwretchedmewithhisgoldandsilverchainsforyears，hadriskedhislifetocometome，andIhelditthereinmykeeping！IfIhadlovedhiminsteadofabhorringhim；ifIhadbeenattractedtohimbythestrongestadmirationandaffection，insteadofshrinkingfromhimwiththestrongestrepugnance；
itcouldhavebeennoworse。Onthecontrary，itwouldhavebeenbetter，forhispreservationwouldthenhavenaturallyandtenderlyaddressedmyheart。
Myfirstcarewastoclosetheshutters，sothatnolightmightbeseenfromwithout，andthentocloseandmakefastthedoors。WhileIdidso，hestoodatthetabledrinkingrumandeatingbiscuit；andwhenIsawhimthusengaged，Isawmyconvictonthemarshesathismealagain。Italmostseemedtomeasifhemuststoopdownpresently，tofileathisleg。
WhenIhadgoneintoHerbert\'sroom，andhadshutoffanyothercommunicationbetweenitandthestaircasethanthroughtheroominwhichourconversationhadbeenheld，Iaskedhimifhewouldgotobed？Hesaidyes，butaskedmeforsomeofmy`gentleman\'slinen\'toputoninthemorning。Ibroughtitout，andlaiditreadyforhim，andmybloodagainrancoldwhenheagaintookmebybothhandstogivemegoodnight。
Igotawayfromhim，withoutknowinghowIdidit，andmendedthefireintheroomwherewehadbeentogether，andsatdownbyit，afraidtogotobed。Foranhourormore，Iremainedtoostunnedtothink；anditwasnotuntilIbegantothink，thatIbeganfullytoknowhowwreckedIwas，andhowtheshipinwhichIhadsailedwasgonetopieces。
MissHavisham\'sintentionstowardsme，allameredream；Estellanotdesignedforme；IonlysufferedinSatisHouseasaconvenience，astingforthegreedyrelations，amodelwithamechanicalhearttopractiseonwhennootherpracticewasathand；thosewerethefirstsmartsIhad。
But，sharpestanddeepestpainofall-itwasfortheconvict，guiltyofIknewnotwhatcrimes，andliabletobetakenoutofthoseroomswhereIsatthinking，andhangedattheOldBaileydoor，thatIhaddesertedJoe。
IwouldnothavegonebacktoJoenow，IwouldnothavegonebacktoBiddynow，foranyconsideration:simply，Isuppose，becausemysenseofmyownworthlessconducttothemwasgreaterthaneveryconsideration。
NowisdomonearthcouldhavegivenmethecomfortthatIshouldhavederivedfromtheirsimplicityandfidelity；butIcouldnever，never，undowhatIhaddone。
Ineveryrageofwindandrushofrain，Iheardpursuers。Twice，Icouldhavesworntherewasaknockingandwhisperingattheouterdoor。Withthesefearsuponme，IbeganeithertoimagineorrecallthatIhadhadmysteriouswarningsofthisman\'sapproach。That，forweeksgoneby，I
hadpassedfacesinthestreetswhichIhadthoughtlikehis。That，theselikenesseshadgrownmorenumerous，ashe，comingoverthesea，haddrawnnearer。That，hiswickedspirithadsomehowsentthesemessengerstomine，andthatnowonthisstormynighthewasasgoodashisword，andwithme。
CrowdingupwiththesereflectionscamethereflectionthatIhadseenhimwithmychildisheyestobeadesperatelyviolentman；thatIhadheardthatotherconvictreiteratethathehadtriedtomurderhim；thatIhadseenhimdownintheditchtearingandfightinglikeawildbeast。OutofsuchremembrancesIbroughtintothelightoffire，ahalf-formedterrorthatitmightnotbesafetobeshutuptherewithhiminthedeadofthewildsolitarynight。Thisdilateduntilitfilledtheroom，andimpelledmetotakeacandleandgoinandlookatmydreadfulburden。
Hehadrolledahandkerchiefroundhishead，andhisfacewassetandloweringinhissleep。Buthewasasleep，andquietlytoo，thoughhehadapistollyingonthepillow。Assuredofthis，Isoftlyremovedthekeytotheoutsideofhisdoor，andturneditonhimbeforeIagainsatdownbythefire。GraduallyIslippedfromthechairandlayonthefloor。WhenIawoke，withouthavingpartedinmysleepwiththeperceptionofmywretchedness，theclocksoftheEastwardchurcheswerestrikingfive，thecandleswerewastedout，thefirewasdead，andthewindandrainintensifiedthethickblackdarkness。
THISISTHEENDOFTHESECONDSTAGEOFPIP\'SEXPECTATIONS。
Chapter40
ITwasfortunateformethatIhadtotakeprecautionstoensuresofarasIcouldthesafetyofmydreadedvisitor；for，thisthoughtpressingonmewhenIawoke，heldotherthoughtsinaconfusedconcourseatadistance。
Theimpossibilityofkeepinghimconcealedinthechamberswasself-evident。
Itcouldnotbedone，andtheattempttodoitwouldinevitablyengendersuspicion。True，IhadnoAvengerinmyservicenow，butIwaslookedafterbyaninflammatoryoldfemale，assistedbyananimatedrag-bagwhomshecalledherniece，andtokeeparoomsecretfromthemwouldbetoinvitecuriosityandexaggeration。Theybothhadweakeyes，whichIhadlongattributedtotheirchronicallylookinginatkeyholes，andtheywerealwaysathandwhennotwanted；indeedthatwastheironlyreliablequalitybesideslarceny。
Nottogetupamysterywiththesepeople，Iresolvedtoannounceinthemorningthatmyunclehadunexpectedlycomefromthecountry。
ThiscourseIdecidedonwhileIwasyetgropingaboutinthedarknessforthemeansofgettingalight。Notstumblingonthemeansafterall，IwasfaintogoouttotheadjacentLodgeandgetthewatchmantheretocomewithhislantern。Now，ingropingmywaydowntheblackstaircaseIfelloversomething，andthatsomethingwasamancrouchinginacorner。
AsthemanmadenoanswerwhenIaskedhimwhathedidthere，buteludedmytouchinsilence，IrantotheLodgeandurgedthewatchmantocomequickly:tellinghimoftheincidentonthewayback。Thewindbeingasfierceasever，wedidnotcaretoendangerthelightinthelanternbyrekindlingtheextinguishedlampsonthestaircase，butweexaminedthestaircasefromthebottomtothetopandfoundnoonethere。Itthenoccurredtomeaspossiblethatthemanmighthaveslippedintomyrooms；so，lightingmycandleatthewatchman\'s，andleavinghimstandingatthedoor，Iexaminedthemcarefully，includingtheroominwhichmydreadedguestlayasleep。
Allwasquiet，andassuredlynoothermanwasinthosechambers。
Ittroubledmethatthereshouldhavebeenalurkeronthestairs，onthatnightofallnightsintheyear，andIaskedthewatchman，onthechanceofelicitingsomehopefulexplanationasIhandedhimadramatthedoor，whetherhehadadmittedathisgateanygentlemanwhohadperceptiblybeendiningout？Yes，hesaid；atdifferenttimesofthenight，three。
OnelivedinFountainCourt，andtheothertwolivedintheLane，andhehadseenthemallgohome。Again，theonlyothermanwhodweltinthehouseofwhichmychambersformedapart，hadbeeninthecountryforsomeweeks；
andhecertainlyhadnotreturnedinthenight，becausewehadseenhisdoorwithhissealonitaswecameup-stairs。
`Thenightbeingsobad，sir，\'saidthewatchman，ashegavemebackmyglass，`uncommonfewhavecomeinatmygate。BesidesthemthreegentlementhatIhavenamed，Idon\'tcalltomindanothersinceabouteleveno\'clock，whenastrangeraskedforyou。\'
`Myuncle，\'Imuttered。`Yes。\'
`Yousawhim，sir？\'
`Yes。Ohyes。\'
`Likewisethepersonwithhim？\'
`Personwithhim！\'Irepeated。
`Ijudgedthepersontobewithhim，\'returnedthewatchman。`Thepersonstopped，whenhestoppedtomakeinquiryofme，andthepersontookthiswaywhenhetookthisway。\'
`Whatsortofperson？\'
Thewatchmanhadnotparticularlynoticed；heshouldsayaworkingperson；
tothebestofhisbelief，hehadadust-colouredkindofclotheson，underadarkcoat。ThewatchmanmademorelightofthematterthanIdid，andnaturally；nothavingmyreasonforattachingweighttoit。