Chapter4。VI。
How，thefraybeingover，PanurgecheapenedoneofDingdong\'ssheep。
Thisquarrelbeinghushed，PanurgetippedthewinkuponEpistemonandFriarJohn，andtakingthemaside，Standatsomedistanceoutoftheway，saidhe，andtakeyourshareofthefollowingsceneofmirth。Youshallhaveraresportanon，ifmycakebenotdough，andmyplotdobuttake。Thenaddressinghimselftothedrover，hetookofftohimabumperofgoodlanternwine。Theotherpledgedhimbrisklyandcourteously。Thisdone，Panurgeearnestlyentreatedhimtosellhimoneofhissheep。
Buttheotheransweredhim，Isitcometothat，friendandneighbour？
Wouldyouputtricksupontravellers？Alas，howfinelyyoulovetoplayuponpoorfolk！Nay，youseemararechapman，that\'sthetruthon\'t。Oh，whatamightysheep-merchantyouare！Ingoodfaith，youlooklikeroneofthedivingtradethanabuyerofsheep。Adzookers，whatablessingitwouldbetohaveone\'spursewelllinedwithchinknearyourworshipatatripe-housewhenitbeginstothaw！Humph，humph，didnotweknowyouwell，youmightserveoneaslipperytrick！Praydobutsee，goodpeople，whatamightyconjurorthefellowwouldbereckoned。Patience，saidPanurge；butwaivingthat，besokindastosellmeoneofyoursheep。
Come，howmuch？Whatdoyoumean，masterofmine？answeredtheother。
Theyarelong-woolsheep；fromthesedidJasontakehisgoldenfleece。ThegoldofthehouseofBurgundywasdrawnfromthem。Zwoons，man，theyareorientalsheep，toppingsheep，fattedsheep，sheepofquality。Beitso，saidPanurge；butsellmeoneofthem，Ibeseechyou；andthatforacause，payingyoureadymoneyuponthenail，ingoodandlawfuloccidentalcurrentcash。Wiltsayhowmuch？Friend，neighbour，answeredthesellerofmutton，harkyemealittle，ontheear。
Panurge。Onwhichsideyouplease；Ihearyou。
Dingdong。YouaregoingtoLanternland，theysay。
Panurge。Yea，verily。
Dingdong。Toseefashions？
Panurge。Evenso。
Dingdong。Andbemerry？
Panurge。Andbemerry。
Dingdong。Yournameis，asItakeit，RobinMutton？
Panurge。Asyoupleaseforthat，sweetsir。
Dingdong。Nay，withoutoffence。
Panurge。SoIwouldhaveit。
Dingdong。Youare，asItakeit，theking\'sjester；aren\'tyou？
Panurge。Ay，ay，anything。
Dingdong。Givemeyourhand——humph，humph，yougotoseefashions，youaretheking\'sjester，yournameisRobinMutton！Doyouseethissameram？Hisname，too，isRobin。Here，Robin，Robin，Robin！Baea，baea，baea。Hathhenotararevoice？
Panurge。Ay，marryhashe，averyfineandharmoniousvoice。
Dingdong。Well，thisbargainshallbemadebetweenyouandme，friendandneighbour；wewillgetapairofscales，thenyouRobinMuttonshallbeputintooneofthem，andTupRobinintotheother。NowIwillholdyouapeckofBuschoystersthatinweight，value，andpriceheshalloutdoyou，andyoushallbefoundlightintheverynumericalmanneraswhenyoushallbehangedandsuspended。
Patience，saidPanurge；butyouwoulddomuchformeandyourwholeposterityifyouwouldchafferwithmeforhim，orsomeotherofhisinferiors。Ibegitofyou；goodyourworship，besokind。Harkye，friendofmine，answeredtheother；withthefleeceoftheseyourfineRouenclothistobemade；yourLeominstersuperfinewoolisminearsetoit；mereflockincomparison。Oftheirskinsthebestcordovanwillbemade，whichshallbesoldforTurkeyandMontelimart，orforSpanishleatheratleast。OfthegutsshallbemadefiddleandharpstringsthatwillsellasdearasiftheycamefromMunicanorAquileia。Whatdoyouthinkon\'t，hah？Ifyouplease，sellmeoneofthem，saidPanurge，andI
willbeyoursforever。Look，here\'sreadycash。What\'stheprice？ThishesaidexhibitinghispursestuffedwithnewHenricuses。
Chapter4。VII。
Whichifyoureadyou\'llfindhowPanurgebargainedwithDingdong。
Neighbour，myfriend，answeredDingdong，theyaremeatfornonebutkingsandprinces；theirfleshissodelicate，sosavoury，andsodaintythatonewouldswearitmeltedinthemouth。Ibringthemoutofacountrywheretheveryhogs，Godbewithus，liveonnothingbutmyrobolans。Thesowsinthestyeswhentheylie-insavingthehonourofthisgoodcompanyarefedonlywithorange-flowers。But，saidPanurge，driveabargainwithmeforoneofthem，andIwillpayyoufor\'tlikeaking，uponthehonestwordofatrueTrojan；come，come，whatdoyouask？Notsofast，Robin，answeredthetrader；thesesheeparelineallydescendedfromtheveryfamilyoftheramthatwaftedPhryxusandHelleovertheseasincecalledtheHellespont。
Apoxon\'t，saidPanurge，youareclericusveladdiscens！Itaisacabbage，andverealeek，answeredthemerchant。But，rr，rrr，rrrr，rrrrr，hohRobin，rr，rrrrrrr，youdon\'tunderstandthatgibberish，doyou？
NowIthinkon\'t，overallthefieldswheretheypiss，corngrowsasfastasiftheLordhadpissedthere；theyneedneitherbetillednordunged。
Besides，man，yourchemistsextractthebestsaltpetreintheworldoutoftheirurine。Nay，withtheirverydungwithreverencebeitspokenthedoctorsinourcountrymakepillsthatcureseventy-eightkindsofdiseases，theleastofwhichistheevilofSt。EutropiusofXaintes，fromwhich，goodLord，deliverus！Nowwhatdoyouthinkon\'t，neighbour，myfriend？Thetruthis，theycostmemoney，thattheydo。Costwhattheywill，criedPanurge，tradewithmeforoneofthem，payingyouwell。Ourfriend，quoththequacklikesheepman，dobutmindthewondersofnaturethatarefoundinthoseanimals，eveninamemberwhichonewouldthinkwereofnouse。Takemebutthesehorns，andbraythemalittlewithanironpestle，orwithanandiron，whichyouplease，itisallonetome；
thenburythemwhereveryouwill，provideditbewherethesunmayshine，andwaterthemfrequently；inafewmonthsI\'llengageyouwillhavethebestasparagusintheworld，notevenexceptingthoseofRavenna。Now，comeandtellmewhetherthehornsofyourotherknightsofthebull\'sfeatherhavesuchavirtueandwonderfulpropriety？
Patience，saidPanurge。Idon\'tknowwhetheryoubeascholarorno，pursuedDingdong；Ihaveseenaworldofscholars，Isaygreatscholars，thatwerecuckolds，I\'llassureyou。Butharkyoume，ifyouwereascholar，youshouldknowthatinthemostinferiormembersofthoseanimals，whicharethefeet，thereisabone，whichistheheel，theastragalus，ifyouwillhaveitso，wherewith，andwiththatofnoothercreaturebreathing，excepttheIndianassandthedorcadesofLibya，theyusedinoldtimestoplayattheroyalgameofdice，whereatAugustustheemperorwonabovefiftythousandcrownsoneevening。Nowsuchcuckoldsasyouwillbehangedereyougethalfsomuchatit。Patience，saidPanurge；
butletusdespatch。Andwhen，myfriendandneighbour，continuedthecantingsheepseller，shallIhavedulypraisedtheinwardmembers，theshoulders，thelegs，theknuckles，theneck，thebreast，theliver，thespleen，thetripes，thekidneys，thebladder，wherewiththeymakefootballs；theribs，whichserveinPigmylandtomakelittlecrossbowstopeltthecraneswithcherry-stones；thehead，whichwithalittlebrimstoneservestomakeamiraculousdecoctiontoloosenandeasethebellyofcostivedogs？Aturdon\'t，saidtheskippertohispreachingpassenger，whatafiddle-faddlehavewehere？Thereistoolongalecturebyhalf:
sellhimifthouwilt；ifthouwon\'t，don\'tletthemanlosemoretime。I
hateagibble-gabbleandarimble-rambletalk。Iamforamanofbrevity。
Iwill，foryoursake，repliedtheholder-forth；butthenheshallgivemethreelivres，Frenchmoney，foreachpickandchoose。Itisawoundyprice，criedPanurge；inourcountryIcouldhavefive，naysix，forthemoney；seethatyoudonotoverreachme，master。YouarenotthefirstmanwhomIhaveknowntohavefallen，evensometimestotheendangering，ifnotbreaking，ofhisownneck，forendeavouringtoriseallatonce。Amurrainseizetheeforablockheadedbooby，criedtheangrysellerofsheep；bytheworthyvowofOurLadyofCharroux，theworstinthisflockisfourtimesbetterthanthosewhichtheCoraxiansinTuditania，acountryofSpain，usedtosellforagoldtalenteach；andhowmuchdostthouthink，thouHibernianfool，thatatalentofgoldwasworth？Sweetsir，youfallintoapassion，Isee，returnedPanurge；well，hold，hereisyourmoney。
Panurge，havingpaidhismoney，chosehimoutofalltheflockafinetoppingram；andashewashaulingitalong，cryingoutandbleating，alltherest，hearingandbleatinginconcert，staredtoseewhithertheirbrother-ramshouldbecarried。Inthemeanwhilethedroverwassayingtohisshepherds:Ah！howwelltheknavecouldchoosehimoutaram；thewhoresonhasskillincattle。Onmyhonestword，IreservedthatverypieceoffleshfortheLordofCancale，wellknowinghisdisposition；forthegoodmanisnaturallyoverjoyedwhenheholdsagood-sizedhandsomeshoulderofmutton，insteadofaleft-handedracket，inonehand，withagoodsharpcarverintheother。Godwot，howhebelabourshimselfthen。
Chapter4。VIII。
HowPanurgecausedDingdongandhissheeptobedrownedinthesea。
Onasudden，youwouldwonderhowthethingwassosoondone——formypartI
cannottellyou，forIhadnotleisuretomindit——ourfriendPanurge，withoutanyfurthertittle-tattle，throwsyouhisramoverboardintothemiddleofthesea，bleatingandmakingasadnoise。Uponthisalltheothersheepintheship，cryingandbleatinginthesametone，madeallthehastetheycouldtoleapnimblyintothesea，oneafteranother；andgreatwasthethrongwhoshouldleapinfirstaftertheirleader。Itwasimpossibletohinderthem；foryouknowthatitisthenatureofsheepalwaystofollowthefirstwheresoeveritgoes；whichmakesAristotle，lib。
9。De。Hist。Animal。，markthemforthemostsillyandfoolishanimalsintheworld。Dingdong，athiswits\'end，andstarkstaringmad，asamanwhosawhissheepdestroyanddrownthemselvesbeforehisface，strovetohinderandkeepthembackwithmightandmain；butallinvain:theyalloneaftert\'otherfriskedandjumpedintothesea，andwerelost。Atlasthelaidholdonahugesturdyonebythefleece，uponthedeckoftheship，hopingtokeepitback，andsosavethatandtherest；buttheramwassostrongthatitprovedtoohardforhim，andcarrieditsmasterintotheherringpondinspiteofhisteeth——whereitissupposedhedranksomewhatmorethanhisfill，sothathewasdrowned——inthesamemannerasone-eyedPolyphemus\'sheepcarriedoutofthedenUlyssesandhiscompanions。Thelikehappenedtotheshepherdsandalltheirgang，somelayingholdontheirbelovedtup，thisbythehorns，t\'otherbythelegs，athirdbytherump，andothersbythefleece；tillinfinetheywereallofthemforcedtosea，anddrownedlikesomanyrats。Panurge，onthegunneloftheship，withanoarinhishand，nottohelpthemyoumayswear，buttokeepthemfromswimmingtotheshipandsavingthemselvesfromdrowning，preachedandcantedtothemallthewhilelikeanylittleFriarOliverMaillard，oranotherFriarJohnBurgess；layingbeforethemrhetoricalcommonplacesconcerningthemiseriesofthislifeandtheblessingsandfelicityofthenext；assuringthemthatthedeadweremuchhappierthanthelivinginthisvaleofmisery，andpromisedtoerectastatelycenotaphandhonorarytombtoeveryoneofthemonthehighestsummitofMountCenisathisreturnfromLanternland；wishingthem，nevertheless，incasetheywerenotyetdisposedtoshakehandswiththislife，anddidnotliketheirsaltliquor，theymighthavethegoodlucktomeetwithsomekindwhalewhichmightsetthemashoresafeandsoundonsomeblessedlandofGotham，afterafamousexample。
TheshipbeingclearedofDingdongandhistups:Isthereeveranothersheepishsoulleftlurkingonboard？criedPanurge。WherearethoseofTobyLambandRobinRamthatsleepwhiletherestarea-feeding？Faith，I
can\'ttellmyself。Thiswasanoldcoaster\'strick。Whatthink\'stofit，FriarJohn，hah？Rarelyperformed，answeredFriarJohn；onlymethinksthatasformerlyinwar，onthedayofbattle，adoublepaywascommonlypromisedthesoldiersforthatday；foriftheyovercame，therewasenoughtopaythem；andiftheylost，itwouldhavebeenshamefulforthemtodemandit，asthecowardlyforestersdidafterthebattleofCerizoles；
likewise，myfriend，yououghtnottohavepaidyourman，andthemoneyhadbeensaved。Afartforthemoney，saidPanurge；haveInothadabovefiftythousandpounds\'worthofsport？Comenow，let\'sbegone；thewindisfair。Harkyoume，myfriendJohn；neverdidmandomeagoodturn，butI
returned，oratleastacknowledgedit；no，Iscorntobeungrateful；I
neverwas，noreverwillbe。Neverdidmandomeanillonewithoutrueingthedaythathedidit，eitherinthisworldorthenext。Iamnotyetsomuchafoolneither。Thoudamn\'stthyselflikeanyolddevil，quothFriarJohn；itiswritten，Mihivindictam，&c。Matterofbreviary，markyemeMotteuxaddsunnecessarilybywayofexplanation，\'that\'sholystuff。\'。
Chapter4。IX。
HowPantagruelarrivedattheislandofEnnasin，andofthestrangewaysofbeingakininthatcountry。
Wehadstillthewindatsouth-south-west，andhadbeenawholedaywithoutmakingland。Onthethirdday，attheflies\'uprisingwhich，youknow，issometwoorthreehoursafterthesun\'s，wegotsightofatriangularisland，verymuchlikeSicilyforitsformandsituation。ItwascalledtheIslandofAlliances。
Thepeopletherearemuchlikeyourcarrot-patedPoitevins，saveonlythatallofthem，men，women，andchildren，havetheirnosesshapedlikeanaceofclubs。ForthatreasontheancientnameofthecountrywasEnnasin。
Theywereallakin，asthemayoroftheplacetoldus；atleasttheyboastedso。
Youpeopleoftheotherworldesteemitawonderfulthingthat，outofthefamilyoftheFabiiatRome，onacertainday，whichwasthe13thofFebruary，atacertaingate，whichwasthePortaCarmentalis，sincenamedScelerata，formerlysituatedatthefootoftheCapitol，betweentheTarpeianrockandtheTiber，marchedoutagainsttheVeientesofEtruriathreehundredandsixmenbearingarms，allrelatedtoeachother，withfivethousandothersoldiers，everyoneofthemtheirvassals，whowereallslainneartheriverCremera，thatcomesoutofthelakeofBeccano。NowfromthissamecountryofEnnasin，incaseofneed，abovethreehundredthousand，allrelationsandofonefamily，mightmarchout。Theirdegreesofconsanguinityandallianceareverystrange；forbeingthusakinandalliedtooneanother，wefoundthatnonewaseitherfatherormother，brotherorsister，uncleoraunt，nepheworniece，son-in-lawordaughter-
in-law，godfatherorgodmother，totheother；unless，truly，atallflat-
nosedfellow，who，asIperceived，calledalittleshitten-arsedgirlofthreeorfouryearsold，father，andthechildcalledhimdaughter。
Theirdistinctionofdegreesofkindredwasthus:amanusedtocallawoman，myleanbit；thewomancalledhim，myporpoise。Those，saidFriarJohn，mustneedsstinkdamnablyoffishwhentheyhaverubbedtheirbacononewiththeother。One，smilingonayoungbuxombaggage，said，Goodmorrow，dearcurrycomb。She，toreturnhimhiscivility，said，Theliketoyou，mysteed。Ha！ha！ha！saidPanurge，thatisprettywell，infaith；
forindeeditstandsheringoodsteadtocurrycombthissteed。AnothergreetedhisbuttockwithaFarewell，mycase。Shereplied，Adieu，trial。
BySt。Winifred\'splacket，criedGymnast，thiscasehasbeenoftentried。
Anotheraskedashe-friendofhis，Howisit，hatchet？Sheansweredhim，Atyourservice，dearhelve。Oddsbelly，saithCarpalin，thishelveandthishatchetarewellmatched。Aswewenton，Isawonewho，callinghisshe-relation，styledhermycrumb，andshecalledhim，mycrust。
Quothonetoabrisk，plump，juicyfemale，Iamgladtoseeyou，deartap。
SoamItofindyousomerry，sweetspiggot，repliedshe。Onecalledawench，hisshovel；shecalledhim，herpeal:onenamedhis，myslipper；
andshe，myfoot:another，myboot；she，myshasoon。
Inthesamedegreeofkindred，onecalledhis，mybutter；shecalledhim，myeggs；andtheywereakinjustlikeadishofbutteredeggs。Iheardonecallhis，mytripe，andshehim，myfaggot。NowIcouldnot，fortheheart\'sbloodofme，pickoutordiscoverwhatparentage，alliance，affinity，orconsanguinitywasbetweenthem，withreferencetoourcustom；
onlytheytoldusthatshewasfaggot\'stripe。Tripedefagotmeansthesmalleststicksinafaggot。Another，complimentinghisconvenient，said，Yours，myshell；shereplied，Iwasyoursbefore，sweetoyster。Ireckon，saidCarpalin，shehathguttedhisoyster。Anotherlong-shankeduglyrogue，mountedonapairofhigh-heeledwoodenslippers，meetingastrapping，fusty，squabbeddowdy，sayshetoher，Howis\'tmytop？Shewasshortuponhim，andarrogantlyreplied，Neverthebetterforyou，mywhip。
BySt。Antony\'shog，saidXenomanes，Ibelieveso；forhowcanthiswhipbesufficienttolashthistop？
Acollegeprofessor，wellprovidedwithcod，andpowderedandprinkedup，havingawhilediscoursedwithagreatlady，takinghisleavewiththesewords，Thankyou，sweetmeat；shecried，Thereneedsnothanks，sour-sauce。
SaithPantagruel，Thisisnotaltogetherincongruous，forsweetmeatmusthavesoursauce。Awoodenloggerheadsaidtoayoungwench，ItislongsinceIsawyou，bag；Allthebetter，criedshe，pipe。Setthemtogether，saidPanurge，thenblowintheirarses，itwillbeabagpipe。Wesaw，afterthat，adiminutivehumpbackedgallant，prettynearus，takingleaveofashe-relationofhis，thus:Faretheewell，friendhole；shereparteed，Savethee，friendpeg。QuothFriarJohn，Whatcouldtheysaymore，wereheallpegandsheallhole？ButnowwouldIgivesomethingtoknowifeverycrannyoftheholecanbestoppedupwiththatsamepeg。
Abawdybachelor，talkingwithanoldtrout，wassaying，Remember，rustygun。Iwillnotfail，saidshe，scourer。Doyoureckonthesetwotobeakin？saidPantagrueltothemayor。Irathertakethemtobefoes。Inourcountryawomanwouldtakethisasamortalaffront。Goodpeopleoft\'otherworld，repliedthemayor，youhavefewsuchandsonearrelationsasthisgunandscoureraretooneanother；fortheybothcomeoutofoneshop。What，wastheshoptheirmother？quothPanurge。Whatmother，saidthemayor，doesthemanmean？Thatmustbesomeofyourworld\'saffinity；
wehavehereneitherfathernormother。Yourlittlepaltryfellowsthatliveont\'othersidethewater，poorrogues，bootedwithwispsofhay，mayindeedhavesuch；butwescornit。ThegoodPantagruelstoodgazingandlistening；butatthosewordshehadliketohavelostallpatienceHereMotteuxaddsanaside——\'Greek。M。\'。
HavingveryexactlyviewedthesituationoftheislandandthewayoflivingoftheEnassednation，wewenttotakeacupofthecreatureatatavern，wheretherehappenedtobeaweddingafterthemannerofthecountry。Batingthatshockingcustom，therewasspecialgoodcheer。
Whilewewerethere，apleasantmatchwasstruckupbetwixtafemalecalledPearatightthing，aswethought，butbysome，whoknewbetterthings，saidtobequaggyandflabby，andayoungsoftmale，calledCheese，somewhatsandy。Manysuchmatcheshavebeen，andtheywereformerlymuchcommended。Inourcountrywesay，Ilnefutonquestelmariage，qu\'estdelapoireetdufromage；thereisnomatchlikethatmadebetweenthepearandthecheese；andinmanyotherplacesgoodstoreofsuchbargainshavebeendriven。Besides，whenthewomenareattheirlastprayers，itistothisdayanotedsaying，thataftercheesecomesnothing。
InanotherroomIsawthemmarryinganoldgreasyboottoayoungpliablebuskin。Pantagruelwastoldthatyoungbuskintookoldboottohaveandtoholdbecauseshewasofspecialleather，ingoodcase，andwaxed，seared，liquored，andgreasedtothepurpose，eventhoughithadbeenforthefishermanthatwenttobedwithhisbootson。Inanotherroombelow，Isawayoungbroguetakingayoungslipperforbetterforworse；which，theytoldus，wasneitherforthesakeofherpiety，parts，orperson，butforthefourthcomprehensivep，portion；thespankers，spur-royals，rose-
nobles，andothercorianderseedwithwhichshewasquiltedallover。
Chapter4。X。
HowPantagruelwentashoreattheislandofChely，wherehesawKingSt。
Panigon。
Wesailedrightbeforethewind，whichwehadatwest，leavingthoseoddalliancerswiththeirace-of-clubssnouts，andhavingtakenheightbythesun，stoodinforChely，alarge，fruitful，wealthy，andwell-peopledisland。KingSt。Panigon，firstofthename，reignedthere，and，attendedbytheprinceshissonsandthenoblesofhiscourt，cameasfarastheporttoreceivePantagruel，andconductedhimtohispalace；nearthegateofwhichthequeen，attendedbytheprincessesherdaughtersandthecourtladies，receivedus。PanigondirectedherandallherretinuetosalutePantagruelandhismenwithakiss；forsuchwasthecivilcustomofthecountry；andtheywereallfairlybussedaccordingly，exceptFriarJohn，whosteppedasideandsneakedoffamongtheking\'sofficers。PanigonusedalltheentreatiesimaginabletopersuadePantagrueltotarrytherethatdayandthenext；buthewouldneedsbegone，andexcusedhimselfupontheopportunityofwindandweather，which，beingoftenerdesiredthanenjoyed，oughtnottobeneglectedwhenitcomes。Panigon，havingheardthesereasons，letusgo，butfirstmadeustakeoffsomefive-and-twentyorthirtybumperseach。
Pantagruel，returningtotheport，missedFriarJohn，andaskedwhyhewasnotwiththerestofcompany。Panurgecouldnottellhowtoexcusehim，andwouldhavegonebacktothepalacetocallhim，whenFriarJohnovertookthem，andmerrilycried，LonglivethenoblePanigon！AsIlovemybelly，hemindsgoodeating，andkeepsanoblehouseandadaintykitchen。Ihavebeenthere，boys。Everythinggoesaboutbydozens。Iwasingoodhopestohavestuffedmypuddingstherelikeamonk。What！alwaysinakitchen，friend？saidPantagruel。BythebellyofSt。Cramcapon，quoththefriar，Iunderstandthecustomsandceremonieswhichareusedtheremuchbetterthanalltheformalstuff，antiquepostures，andnonsensicalfiddle-faddlethatmustbeusedwiththosewomen，magnimagna，shittencumshita，cringes，grimaces，scrapes，bows，andcongees；doublehonoursthisway，triplesalutesthatway，theembrace，thegrasp，thesqueeze，thehug，theleer，thesmack，basolasmanosdevostramerce，devostramaesta。Youaremosttarabin，tarabas，Stront；that\'sdownrightDutch。Whyallthisado？Idon\'tsaybutamanmightbeforabitbythebyeandaway，tobedoingaswellashisneighbours；butthislittlenastycringingandcourtesyingmademeasmadasanyMarchdevil。Youtalkofkissingladies；bytheworthyandsacredfrockIwear，Iseldomventureuponit，lestIbeservedaswastheLordofGuyercharois。Whatwasit？
saidPantagruel；Iknowhim。HeisoneofthebestfriendsIhave。
Hewasinvitedtoasumptuousfeast，saidFriarJohn，byarelationandneighbourofhis，togetherwithallthegentlemenandladiesintheneighbourhood。Nowsomeofthelatterexpectinghiscoming，dressedthepagesinwomen\'sclothes，andfinifiedthemlikeanybabies；thenorderedthemtomeetmylordathiscomingnearthedrawbridge。Sothecomplimentingmonsieurcame，andtherekissedthepetticoatedladswithgreatformality。Atlasttheladies，whomindedpassagesinthegallery，burstoutwithlaughing，andmadesignstothepagestotakeofftheirdress；whichthegoodlordhavingobserved，thedevilabithedurstmakeuptothetrueladiestokissthem，butsaid，thatsincetheyhaddisguisedthepages，byhisgreatgrandfather\'shelmet，thesewerecertainlytheveryfootmenandgroomsstillmorecunninglydisguised。Oddsfish，dajurandi，whydonotweratherremoveourhumanitiesintosomegoodwarmkitchenofGod，thatnoblelaboratory，andthereadmiretheturningofthespits，theharmoniousrattlingofthejacksandfenders，criticiseonthepositionofthelard，thetemperatureofthepottages，thepreparationforthedessert，andtheorderofthewineservice？Beatiimmaculatiinvia。Matterofbreviary，mymasters。
Chapter4。XI。
Whymonkslovetobeinkitchens。
This，saidEpistemon，isspokelikeatruemonk；Imeanlikearightmonkingmonk，notabemonkedmonasticalmonkling。TrulyyouputmeinmindofsomepassagesthathappenedatFlorence，sometwentyyearsago，inacompanyofstudioustravellers，fondofvisitingthelearned，andseeingtheantiquitiesofItaly，amongwhomIwas。AsweviewedthesituationandbeautyofFlorence，thestructureofthedome，themagnificenceofthechurchesandpalaces，westrovetooutdooneanotheringivingthemtheirdue；whenacertainmonkofAmiens，BernardLardonbyname，quiteangry，scandalized，andoutofallpatience，toldus，Idon\'tknowwhatthedevilyoucanfindinthissametown，thatissomuchcriedup；formypartI
havelookedandporedandstaredaswellasthebestofyou；Ithinkmyeyesightisasclearasanotherbody\'s，andwhatcanoneseeafterall？
Therearefinehouses，indeedandthat\'sall。Butthecagedoesnotfeedthebirds。GodandMonsieurSt。Bernard，ourgoodpatron，bewithus！inallthissametownIhavenotseenonepoorlaneofroastingcooks；andyetIhavenotalittlelookedaboutandsoughtforsonecessaryapartofacommonwealth:ay，andIdareassureyouthatIhavepriedupanddownwiththeexactnessofaninformer；asreadytonumber，bothtotherightandleft，howmany，andonwhatside，wemightfindmostroastingcooks，asaspywouldbetoreckonthebastionsofatown。NowatAmiens，infour，nay，fivetimeslessgroundthanwehavetrodinourcontemplations，I
couldhaveshownyouabovefourteenstreetsofroastingcooks，mostancient，savoury，andaromatic。IcannotimaginewhatkindofpleasureyoucanhavetakeningazingonthelionsandAfricanssomethinksyoucalltheirtigersnearthebelfry，orinoglingtheporcupinesandestridgesintheLordPhilipStrozzi\'spalace。FaithandtruthIhadratherseeagoodfatgooseatthespit。Thisporphyry，thosemarblesarefine；Isaynothingtothecontrary；butourcheesecakesatAmiensarefarbetterinmymind。Theseancientstatuesarewellmade；Iamwillingtobelieveit；
but，bySt。FerreolofAbbeville，wehaveyoungwenchesinourcountrywhichpleasemebetterathousandtimes。
Whatisthereason，askedFriarJohn，thatmonksarealwaystobefoundinkitchens，andkings，emperors，andpopesareneverthere？Istherenot，saidRhizotome，somelatentvirtueandspecificproprietyhidinthekettlesandpans，which，astheloadstoneattractsiron，drawsthemonksthere，andcannotattractemperors，popes，orkings？Orisitanaturalinductionandinclination，fixedinthefrocksandcowls，whichofitselfleadsandforceththosegoodreligiousmenintokitchens，whethertheywillorno？Hewouldspeakofformsfollowingmatter，asAverroescallsthem，answeredEpistemon。Right，saidFriarJohn。
Iwillnotoffertosolvethisproblem，saidPantagruel；foritissomewhatticklish，andyoucanhardlyhandleitwithoutcomingoffscurvily；butI
willtellyouwhatIhaveheard。
Antigonus，KingofMacedon，onedaycomingintooneofthetents，wherehiscooksusedtodresshismeat，andfindingtherepoetAntagorasfryingaconger，andholdingthepanhimself，merrilyaskedhim，Pray，Mr。Poet，wasHomerfryingcongerswhenhewrotethedeedsofAgamemnon？Antagorasreadilyanswered:Butdoyouthink，sir，thatwhenAgamemnondidthemhemadeithisbusinesstoknowifanyinhiscampwerefryingcongers？Thekingthoughtitanindecencythatapoetshouldbethusa-fryinginakitchen；andthepoetletthekingknowthatitwasamoreindecentthingforakingtobefoundinsuchaplace。I\'llclapanotherstoryupontheneckofthis，quothPanurge，andwilltellyouwhatBretonVillandryansweredonedaytotheDukeofGuise。
TheyweresayingthatatacertainbattleofKingFrancisagainstCharlestheFifth，Breton，armedcap-a-pietotheteeth，andmountedlikeSt。
George，yetsneakedoff，andplayedleastinsightduringtheengagement。
Bloodandoons，answeredBreton，Iwasthere，andcanproveiteasily；nay，evenwhereyou，mylord，darednothavebeen。Thedukebegantoresentthisastoorashandsaucy；butBretoneasilyappeasedhim，andsetthemalla-laughing。Egad，mylord，quothhe，Ikeptoutofharm\'sway；IwasallthewhilewithyourpageJack，skulkinginacertainplacewhereyouhadnotdaredhideyourheadasIdid。Thusdiscoursing，theygottotheirships，andlefttheislandofChely。
Chapter4。XII。
HowPantagruelpassedbythelandofPettifogging，andofthestrangewayoflivingamongtheCatchpoles。
Steeringourcourseforwardsthenextday，wepassedthroughPettifogging，acountryallblurredandblotted，sothatIcouldhardlytellwhattomakeon\'t。Therewesawsomepettifoggersandcatchpoles，roguesthatwillhangtheirfatherforagroat。Theyneitherinvitedustoeatordrink；but，withamultipliedtrainofscrapesandcringes，saidtheywereallatourservicefortheLegempone。
OneofourdroggermenrelatedtoPantagrueltheirstrangewayofliving，diametricallyopposedtothatofourmodernRomans；foratRomeaworldoffolksgetanhonestlivelihoodbypoisoning，drubbing，lambasting，stabbing，andmurthering；butthecatchpolesearntheirsbybeingthrashed；
sothatiftheywerelongwithoutatightlambasting，thepoordogswiththeirwivesandchildrenwouldbestarved。Thisisjust，quothPanurge，likethosewho，asGalentellsus，cannoterectthecavernousnervetowardstheequinoctialcircleunlesstheyaresoundlyflogged。BySt。Patrick\'sslipper，whoevershouldjerkmeso，wouldsoon，insteadofsettingmeright，throwmeoffthesaddle，inthedevil\'sname。
Thewayisthis，saidtheinterpreter。Whenamonk，levite，close-fistedusurer，orlawyerowesagrudgetosomeneighbouringgentleman，hesendstohimoneofthosecatchpolesorapparitors，whonabs，oratleastciteshim，servesawritorwarrantuponhim，thumps，abuses，andaffrontshimimpudentlybynaturalinstinct，andaccordingtohispiousinstructions；
insomuch，thatifthegentlemanhathbutanygutsinhisbrains，andisnotmorestupidthanagyrinfrog，hewillfindhimselfobligedeithertoapplyafaggot-stickorhisswordtotherascal\'sjobbernowl，givehimthegentlelash，ormakehimcutacaperoutatthewindow，bywayofcorrection。
Thisdone，Catchpoleisrichforfourmonthsatleast，asifbastinadoeswerehisrealharvest；forthemonk，levite，usurer，orlawyerwillrewardhimroundly；andmygentlemanmustpayhimsuchswingeingdamagesthathisacresmustbleedforit，andhebeindangerofmiserablyrottingwithinastonedoublet，asifhehadstrucktheking。
QuothPanurge，IknowanexcellentremedyagainstthisusedbytheLordofBasche。Whatisit？saidPantagruel。TheLordofBasche，saidPanurge，wasabrave，honest，noble-spiritedgentleman，who，athisreturnfromthelongwarinwhichtheDukeofFerrara，withthehelpoftheFrench，bravelydefendedhimselfagainstthefuryofPopeJuliustheSecond，waseverydaycited，warned，andprosecutedatthesuitandforthesportandfancyofthefatpriorofSt。Louant。
Onemorning，ashewasatbreakfastwithsomeofhisdomesticsforhelovedtobesometimesamongthemhesentforoneLoire，hisbaker，andhisspouse，andforoneOudart，thevicarofhisparish，whowasalsohisbutler，asthecustomwastheninFrance；thensaidtothembeforehisgentlemenandotherservants:YouallseehowIamdailyplaguedwiththeserascallycatchpoles。Truly，ifyoudonotlendmeyourhelpinghand，Iamfinallyresolvedtoleavethecountry，andgofightforthesultan，orthedevil，ratherthanbethuseternallyteased。Therefore，toberidoftheirdamnedvisits，hereafter，whenanyofthemcomehere，beready，youbakerandyourwife，tomakeyourpersonalappearanceinmygreathall，inyourweddingclothes，asifyouweregoingtobeaffianced。Here，taketheseducats，whichIgiveyoutokeepyouinafittinggarb。Asforyou，SirOudart，besureyoumakeyourpersonalappearancethereinyourfinesurpliceandstole，notforgettingyourholywater，asifyouweretowedthem。Beyoutherealso，Trudon，saidhetohisdrummer，withyourpipeandtabor。Theformofmatrimonymustberead，andthebridekissed；thenallofyou，asthewitnessesusedtodointhiscountry，shallgiveoneanothertheremembranceofthewedding，whichyouknowistobeablowwithyourfist，biddingthepartystruckrememberthenuptialsbythattoken。
Thiswillbutmakeyouhavethebetterstomachtoyoursupper；butwhenyoucometothecatchpole\'sturn，thrashhimthricethethreefold，asyouwouldasheafofgreencorn；donotsparehim；maulhim，drubhim，lambasthim，swingehimoff，Iprayyou。Here，takethesesteelgauntlets，coveredwithkid。Head，back，belly，andsides，givehimblowsinnumerable；hethatgiveshimmostshallbemybestfriend。Fearnottobecalledtoanaccountaboutit；Iwillstandbyyou；fortheblowsmustseemtobegiveninjest，asitiscustomaryamongusatallweddings。
Ay，buthowshallweknowthecatchpole？saidthemanofGod。Allsortsofpeopledailyresorttothiscastle。Ihavetakencareofthat，repliedthelord。Whensomefellow，eitheronfoot，oronascurvyjade，withalargebroadsilverringonhisthumb，comestothedoor，heiscertainlyacatchpole；theporterhavingcivillylethimin，shallringthebell；thenbeallready，andcomeintothehall，toactthetragi-comedywhoseplotI
havenowlaidforyou。
Thatnumericalday，aschancewouldhaveit，cameanoldfatruddycatchpole。Havingknockedatthegate，andthenpissed，asmostmenwilldo，theportersoonfoundhimout，byhislargegreasyspatterdashes，hisjadedhollow-flankedmare，hisbagfulofwritsandinformationsdanglingathisgirdle，but，aboveall，bythelargesilverhooponhisleftthumb。
Theporterwasciviltohim，admittedhiminkindly，andrungthebellbriskly。Assoonasthebakerandhiswifeheardit，theyclappedontheirbestclothes，andmadetheirpersonalappearanceinthehall，keepingtheirgravitieslikeanew-madejudge。Thedominieputonhissurpliceandstole，andashecameoutofhisoffice，metthecatchpole，hadhiminthere，andmadehimsuckhisfaceagoodwhile，whilethegauntletsweredrawingonallhands；andthentoldhim，Youarecomejustinpudding-time；
mylordisinhisrightcue。Weshallfeastlikekingsanon；hereistobeswingeingdoings；wehaveaweddinginthehouse；here，drinkandcheerup；
pullaway。
Whilethesetwowereatithand-to-fist，Basche，seeingallhispeopleinthehallintheirproperequipage，sendsforthevicar。Oudartcomeswiththeholy-waterpot，followedbythecatchpole，who，ashecameintothehall，didnotforgettomakegoodstoreofawkwardcringes，andthenservedBaschewithawrit。Baschegavehimgrimaceforgrimace，slippedanangelintohismutton-fist，andprayedhimtoassistatthecontractandceremony；whichhedid。Whenitwasended，thumpsandfisticuffsbegantoflyaboutamongtheassistants；butwhenitcametothecatchpole\'sturn，theyalllaidonhimsounmercifullywiththeirgauntletsthattheyatlastsettledhim，allstunnedandbattered，bruisedandmortified，withoneofhiseyesblackandblue，eightribsbruised，hisbrisketsunkin，hisomoplatesinfourquarters，hisunderjawboneinthreepieces；andallthisinjest，andnoharmdone。Godwothowthelevitebelabouredhim，hidingwithinthelongsleeveofhiscanonicalshirthishugesteelgauntletlinedwithermine；forhewasastrong-builtball，andanolddogatfisticuffs。
Thecatchpole，allofabloodytiger-likestripe，withmuchadocrawledhometoL\'IsleBouchart，wellpleasedandedified，however，withBasche\'skindreception；and，withthehelpofthegoodsurgeonsoftheplace，livedaslongasyouwouldhavehim。Fromthattimetothis，notawordofthebusiness；thememoryofitwaslostwiththesoundofthebellsthatrungwithjoyathisfuneral。
Chapter4。XIII。
How，likeMasterFrancisVillon，theLordofBaschecommendedhisservants。
ThecatchpolebeingpackedoffonblindSorrel——sohecalledhisone-eyedmare——Baschesentforhislady，herwomen，andallhisservants，intothearbourofhisgarden；hadwinebrought，attendedwithgoodstoreofpasties，hams，fruit，andothertable-ammunition，foranunchion；drankwiththemjoyfully，andthentoldthemthisstory:
MasterFrancisVilloninhisoldageretiredtoSt。MaxentinPoitou，underthepatronageofagoodhonestabbotoftheplace。Theretomakesportforthemob，heundertooktogetthePassionacted，aftertheway，andinthedialectofthecountry。Thepartsbeingdistributed，theplayhavingbeenrehearsed，andthestageprepared，hetoldthemayorandaldermenthatthemysterymightbereadyafterNiortfair，andthatthereonlywantedpropertiesandnecessaries，butchieflyclothesfitfortheparts；sothemayorandhisbrethrentookcaretogetthem。
Villon，todressanoldclownishfathergreybeard，whowastorepresentGodthefather，beggedofFriarStephenTickletoby，sacristantotheFranciscanfriarsoftheplace，tolendhimacopeandastole。Tickletobyrefusedhim，allegingthatbytheirprovincialstatutesitwasrigorouslyforbiddentogiveorlendanythingtoplayers。Villonrepliedthatthestatutereachednofartherthanfarces，drolls，antics，looseanddissolutegames，andthatheaskednomorethanwhathehadseenallowedatBrusselsandotherplaces。Tickletobynotwithstandingperemptorilybidhimprovidehimselfelsewhereifhewould，andnottohopeforanythingoutofhismonasticalwardrobe。Villongaveanaccountofthistotheplayers，asofamostabominableaction；adding，thatGodwouldshortlyrevengehimself，andmakeanexampleofTickletoby。
TheSaturdayfollowinghehadnoticegivenhimthatTickletoby，uponthefillyoftheconvent——sotheycallayoungmarethatwasneverleapedyet——
wasgonea-mumpingtoSt。Ligarius，andwouldbebackabouttwointheafternoon。Knowingthis，hemadeacavalcadeofhisdevilsofthePassionthroughthetown。Theywereallriggedwithwolves\'，calves\'，andrams\'
skins，lacedandtrimmedwithsheep\'sheads，bull\'sfeathers，andlargekitchententerhooks，girtwithbroadleatherngirdles，whereathangeddanglinghugecow-bellsandhorse-bells，whichmadeahorriddin。Someheldintheirclawsblacksticksfullofsquibsandcrackers；othershadlonglightedpiecesofwood，uponwhich，atthecornerofeverystreet，theyflungwholehandfulsofrosin-dust，thatmadeaterriblefireandsmoke。Havingthusledthemabout，tothegreatdiversionofthemobandthedreadfulfearoflittlechildren，hefinallycarriedthemtoanentertainmentatasummer-housewithoutthegatethatleadstoSt。
Ligarius。
Astheycameneartotheplace，heespiedTickletobyafaroff，cominghomefrommumping，andtoldtheminmacaronicverse:
Hicestdepatria，natus，degentebelistra，Quisoletantiquabribasportarebisacco。Motteuxreads:
\'HicestmumpatornatusdegenteCucowli，QuisoletantiquoScrappasportarebisacco。\'
Aplagueonhisfriarship，saidthedevilsthen；thelousybeggarwouldnotlendapoorcopetothefatherlyfather；letusfrighthim。Wellsaid，criedVillon；butletushideourselvestillhecomesby，andthenchargehimhomebrisklywithyoursquibsandburningsticks。Tickletobybeingcometotheplace，theyallrushedonasuddenintotheroadtomeethim，andinafrightfulmannerthrewfirefromallsidesuponhimandhisfillyfoal，ringingandtinglingtheirbells，andhowlinglikesomanyrealdevils，Hho，hho，hho，hho，brrou，rrou，rrourrs，rrrourrs，hoo，hou，houhho，hho，hhoi。FriarStephen，don\'tweplaythedevilsrarely？Thefillywassoonscaredoutofhersevensenses，andbegantostart，tofunkit，tosquirtit，totrotit，tofartit，toboundit，togallopit，tokickit，tospurnit，tocalcitrateit，towinceit，tofriskit，toleapit，tocurvetit，withdoublejerks，andbum-motions；insomuchthatshethrewdownTickletoby，thoughheheldfastbythetreeofthepack-saddlewithmightandmain。Nowhisstrapsandstirrupswereofcord；andontherightsidehissandalsweresoentangledandtwistedthathecouldnotfortheheart\'sbloodofhimgetouthisfoot。Thushewasdraggedaboutbythefillythroughtheroad，scratchinghisbarebreechalltheway；shestillmultiplyingherkicksagainsthim，andstrayingforfearoverhedgeandditch，insomuchthatshetrepannedhisthickskullsothathiscocklebrainsweredashedoutneartheOsannaorhigh-cross。Thenhisarmsfelltopieces，onethiswayandtheotherthatway；andevensowerehislegsservedatthesametime。Thenshemadeabloodyhavocwithhispuddings；
andbeinggottotheconvent，broughtbackonlyhisrightfootandtwistedsandal，leavingthemtoguesswhatwasbecomeoftherest。
Villon，seeingthatthingshadsucceededasheintended，saidtohisdevils，Youwillactrarely，gentlemendevils，youwillactrarely；Idareengageyou\'lltopyourparts。IdefythedevilsofSaumur，Douay，Montmorillon，Langez，St。Espain，Angers；nay，bygad，eventhoseofPoictiers，foralltheirbraggingandvapouring，tomatchyou。
Thus，friends，saidBasche，Iforeseethathereafteryouwillactrarelythistragicalfarce，sincetheveryfirsttimeyouhavesoskilfullyhampered，bethwacked，belammed，andbebumpedthecatchpole。FromthisdayIdoubleyourwages。Asforyou，mydear，saidhetohislady，makeyourgratificationsasyouplease；youaremytreasurer，youknow。Formypart，firstandforemost，Idrinktoyouall。Comeon，boxitabout；itisgoodandcool。Inthesecondplace，you，Mr。Steward，takethissilverbasin；I
giveityoufreely。Thenyou，mygentlemenofthehorse，takethesetwosilver-giltcups，andletnotthepagesbehorsewhippedthesethreemonths。
Mydear，letthemhavemybestwhiteplumesoffeathers，withthegoldbucklestothem。SirOudart，thissilverflagonfallstoyourshare；thisotherIgivetothecooks。TothevaletsdechambreIgivethissilverbasket；tothegrooms，thissilver-giltboat；totheporter，thesetwoplates；tothehostlers，thesetenporringers。Trudon，takeyouthesesilverspoonsandthissugar-box。You，footman，takethislargesalt。
Servemewell，andIwillrememberyou。For，onthewordofagentleman，I
hadratherbearinwaronehundredblowsonmyhelmetintheserviceofmycountrythanbeoncecitedbytheseknavishcatchpolesmerelytohumourthissamegorbelliedprior。
Chapter4。XIV。
AfurtheraccountofcatchpoleswhoweredrubbedatBasche\'shouse。
Fourdaysafteranotheryoung，long-shanked，raw-bonedcatchpolecomingtoserveBaschewithawritatthefatprior\'srequest，wasnosooneratthegatebuttheportersmelthimoutandrungthebell；atwhosesecondpullallthefamilyunderstoodthemystery。Loirewaskneadinghisdough；hiswifewassiftingmeal；Oudartwastopinginhisoffice；thegentlemenwereplayingattennis；theLordBascheatin-and-outwithmylady；thewaiting-
menandgentle-womenatpush-pin；theofficersatlanterloo，andthepagesathot-cockles，givingoneanothersmartbangs。Theywereallimmediatelyinformedthatacatchpolewashoused。
UponthisOudartputonhissacerdotal，andLoireandhiswifetheirnuptialbadges；Trudonpipedit，andthentaboreditlikemad；allmadehastetogetready，notforgettingthegauntlets。Baschewentintotheoutwardyard；therethecatchpolemeetinghimfellonhismarrow-bones，beggedofhimnottotakeitillifheservedhimwithawritatthesuitofthefatprior；andinapatheticspeechlethimknowthathewasapublicperson，aservanttothemonkingtribe，apparitortotheabbatialmitre，readytodoasmuchforhim，nay，fortheleastofhisservants，whensoeverhewouldemployandusehim。
Nay，truly，saidthelord，youshallnotserveyourwrittillyouhavetastedsomeofmygoodQuinquenayswine，andbeenawitnesstoaweddingwhichwearetohavethisveryminute。Lethimdrinkandrefreshhimself，addedhe，turningtowardstheleviticalbutler，andthenbringhimintothehall。Afterwhich，Catchpole，wellstuffedandmoistened，camewithOudarttotheplacewherealltheactorsinthefarcestoodreadytobegin。Thesightoftheirgamesetthema-laughing，andthemessengerofmischiefgrinnedalsoforcompany\'ssake。Thenthemysteriouswordsweremutteredtoandbythecouple，theirhandsjoined，thebridebussed，andallbesprinkledwithholywater。Whiletheywerebringingwineandkickshaws，thumpsbegantotrotaboutbydozens。Thecatchpolegavetheleviteseveralblows。Oudart，whohadhisgauntlethidunderhiscanonicalshirt，drawsitonlikeamitten，andthen，withhisclenchedfist，sousehefellonthecatchpoleandmauledhimlikeadevil；thejuniorgauntletsdroppedonhimlikewiselikesomanybatteringrams。Remembertheweddingbythis，bythat，bytheseblows，saidthey。Inshort，theystrokedhimsotothepurposethathepissedbloodoutatmouth，nose，ears，andeyes，andwasbruised，thwacked，battered，bebumped，andcrippledattheback，neck，breast，arms，andsoforth。NeverdidthebachelorsatAvignonincarnivaltimeplaymoremelodiouslyatraphethanwasthenplayedonthecatchpole\'smicrocosm。Atlastdownhefell。
Theythrewagreatdealofwineonhissnout，tiedroundthesleeveofhisdoubletafineyellowandgreenfavour，andgothimuponhissnottybeast，andGodknowshowhegottoL\'IsleBouchart；whereIcannottrulytellyouwhetherhewasdressedandlookedafterorno，bothbyhisspouseandtheabledoctorsofthecountry；forthethingnevercametomyears。
Thenextdaytheyhadathirdparttothesametune，becauseitdidnotappearbytheleancatchpole\'sbagthathehadservedhiswrit。Sothefatpriorsentanewcatchpole，attheheadofabraceofbumsforhisgardeducorps，tosummonmylord。Theporterringingthebell，thewholefamilywasoverjoyed，knowingthatitwasanotherrogue。Baschewasatdinnerwithhisladyandthegentlemen；sohesentforthecatchpole，madehimsitbyhim，andthebumsbythewomen，andmadethemeattilltheirbelliescrackedwiththeirbreechesunbuttoned。Thefruitbeingserved，thecatchpolearosefromtable，andbeforethebumscitedBasche。Baschekindlyaskedhimforacopyofthewarrant，whichtheotherhadgotready；
hethentakeswitnessandacopyofthesummons。Tothecatchpoleandhisbumsheorderedfourducatsforcivilitymoney。Inthemeantimeallwerewithdrawnforthefarce。SoTrudongavethealarmwithhistabor。Baschedesiredthecatchpoletostayandseeoneofhisservantsmarried，andwitnessthecontractofmarriage，payinghimhisfee。Thecatchpoleslapdashwasready，tookouthisinkhorn，gotpaperimmediately，andhisbumsbyhim。
ThenLoirecameintothehallatonedoor，andhiswifewiththegentlewomenatanother，innuptialaccoutrements。Oudart，inpontificalibus，takesthembothbytheirhands，askeththemtheirwill，giveththemthematrimonialblessing，andwasveryliberalofholywater。
Thecontractwritten，signed，andregistered，ononesidewasbroughtwineandcomfits；ontheother，whiteandorange-tawny-colouredfavoursweredistributed；onanother，gauntletsprivatelyhandedabout。
Chapter4。XV。
Howtheancientcustomatnuptialsisrenewedbythecatchpole。
Thecatchpole，havingmadeshifttogetdownaswingeingsneakerofBretonwine，saidtoBasche，Pray，sir，whatdoyoumean？Youdonotgiveoneanotherthemementoofthewedding。BySt。Joseph\'swoodenshoe，allgoodcustomsareforgot。Wefindtheform，butthehareisscampered；andthenest，butthebirdsareflown。Therearenotruefriendsnowadays。Youseehow，inseveralchurches，theancientlaudablecustomoftipplingonaccountoftheblessedsaintsOO，atChristmas，iscometonothing。Theworldisinitsdotage，anddoomsdayiscertainlycomingallsofast。Nowcomeon；thewedding，thewedding，thewedding；rememberitbythis。Thishesaid，strikingBascheandhislady；thenherwomenandthelevite。Thenthetaborbeatapointofwar，andthegauntletsbegantodotheirduty；
insomuchthatthecatchpolehadhiscrowncrackedinnolessthannineplaces。Oneofthebumshadhisrightarmputoutofjoint，andtheotherhisupperjaw-boneormandibuledislocatedsothatithidhalfhischin，withadenudationoftheuvula，andsadlossofthemolar，masticatory，andcanineteeth。Thenthetaborbeataretreat；thegauntletswerecarefullyhidinatrice，andsweetmeatsafreshdistributedtorenewthemirthofthecompany。Sotheyalldranktooneanother，andespeciallytothecatchpoleandhisbums。ButOudartcursedanddamnedtheweddingtothepitofhell，complainingthatoneofthebumshadutterlydisincornifistibulatedhisnethershoulder-blade。Nevertheless，hescornedtobethoughtaflincher，andmadeshifttotopetohimonthesquare。
Thejawlessbumshruggeduphisshoulders，joinedhishands，andbysignsbeggedhispardon；forspeakhecouldnot。Theshambridegroommadehismoan，thatthecrippledbumhadstruckhimsuchahorridthumpwithhisshoulder-of-muttonfistonthenetherelbowthathewasgrownquiteesperruquanchuzelubelouzerireliceddowntohisveryheel，tothenosmalllossofmistressbride。
ButwhatharmhadpoorIdone？criedTrudon，hidinghislefteyewithhiskerchief，andshowinghistaborcrackedononeside；theywerenotsatisfiedwiththuspoaching，blackandbluing，andmorrambouzevezengouzequoquemorgasacbaquevezinemaffrelidingmypooreyes，buttheyhavealsobrokemyharmlessdrum。Drumsindeedarecommonlybeatenatweddings，anditisfittheyshould；butdrummersarewellentertainedandneverbeaten。NowletBeelzebube\'entakethedrum，tomakehisdevilshipanightcap。Brother，saidthelamecatchpole，neverfretthyself；Iwillmaketheeapresentofafine，large，oldpatent，whichIhavehereinmybag，topatchupthydrum，andforMadameSt。Ann\'ssakeIpraytheeforgiveus。ByOurLadyofRiviere，theblesseddame，I
meantnomoreharmthanthechildunborn。Oneoftheequerries，who，hoppingandhaltinglikeamumpingcripple，mimickedthegoodlimpingLorddelaRochePosay，directedhisdiscoursetothebumwiththepoutingjaw，andtoldhim:What，Mr。Manhound，wasitnotenoughthustohavemorcrocastebezasteverestegrigeligoscopapopondrillatedusallinouruppermemberswithyourbotchedmittens，butyoumustalsoapplysuchmorderegripippiatabirofreluchamburelurecaquelurintimpanimentsonourshinboneswiththehardtopsandextremitiesofyourcobbledshoes。Doyoucallthischildren\'splay？Bythemass，\'tisnojest。Thebum，wringinghishands，seemedtobeghispardon，mutteringwithhistongue，Mon，mon，mon，vrelon，von，von，likeadumbman。Thebridecryinglaughed，andlaughingcried，becausethecatchpolewasnotsatisfiedwithdrubbingherwithoutchoiceordistinctionofmembers，buthadalsorudelyrousedandtousedher，pulledoffhertopping，andnothavingthefearofherhusbandbeforehiseyes，treacherouslytrepignemanpenillorifrizonoufresterfumbledtumbledandsqueezedherlowerparts。Thedevilgowithit，saidBasche；therewasmuchneedindeedthatthissameMasterKingthiswasthecatchpole\'snameshouldthusbreakmywife\'sback；however，Iforgivehimnow；thesearelittlenuptialcaresses。
ButthisIplainlyperceive，thathecitedmelikeanangel，anddrubbedmelikeadevil。HehadsomethinginhimofFriarThumpwell。Come，forallthis，Imustdrinktohim，andtoyoulikewise，histrustyesquires。But，saidhislady，whyhathhebeensoveryliberalofhismanualkindnesstome，withouttheleastprovocation？Iassureyou，Ibynomeanslikeit；
butthisIdaresayforhim，thathehaththehardestknucklesthateverI
feltonmyshoulders。Thestewardheldhisleftarminascarf，asifithadbeenrentandtornintwain。Ithinkitwasthedevil，saidhe，thatmovedmetoassistatthesenuptials；shameonillluck；Imustneedsbemeddlingwithapox，andnowseewhatIhavegotbythebargain，bothmyarmsarewretchedlyengoulevezinemassedandbruised。Doyoucallthisawedding？BySt。Bridget\'stooth，IhadratherbeatthatofaTomT——d-
man。Thisis，o\'myword，evenjustsuchanotherfeastaswasthatoftheLapithae，describedbythephilosopherofSamosata。Oneofthebumshadlosthistongue。Theothertwo，tho\'theyhadmoreneedtocomplain，madetheirexcuseaswellastheycould，protestingthattheyhadnoilldesigninthisdumbfounding；beggingthat，forgoodnesssake，theywouldforgivethem；andso，tho\'theycouldhardlybudgeafoot，orwagalong，awaytheycrawled。AboutamilefromBasche\'sseat，thecatchpolefoundhimselfsomewhatoutofsorts。ThebumsgottoL\'IsleBouchart，publiclysayingthatsincetheywereborntheyhadneverseenanhonestergentlemanthantheLordofBasche，orcivillerpeoplethanhis，andthattheyhadneverbeenatthelikeweddingwhichIverilybelieve；butthatitwastheirownfaultsiftheyhadbeentickledoff，andtossedaboutfromposttopillar，sincethemselveshadbeganthebeating。SotheylivedIcannotexactlytellyouhowmanydaysafterthis。ButfromthattimetothisitwasheldforacertaintruththatBasche\'smoneywasmorepestilential，mortal，andpernicioustothecatchpolesandbumsthanwereformerlytheaurumTholosanumandtheSejanhorsetothosethatpossessedthem。Eversincethishelivedquietly，andBasche\'sweddinggrewintoacommonproverb。
Chapter4。XVI。
HowFriarJohnmadetrialofthenatureofthecatchpoles。
Thisstorywouldseempleasantenough，saidPantagruel，werewenottohavealwaysthefearofGodbeforeoureyes。Ithadbeenbetter，saidEpistemon，ifthosegauntletshadfallenuponthefatprior。SincehetookapleasureinspendinghismoneypartlytovexBasche，partlytoseethosecatchpolesbanged，goodlustythumpswouldhavedonewellonhisshavedcrown，consideringthehorridconcussionsnowadaysamongthosepunyjudges。
Whatharmhaddonethosepoordevilsthecatchpoles？Thisputsmeinmind，saidPantagruel，ofanancientRomannamedL。Neratius。Hewasofnobleblood，andforsometimewasrich；buthadthistyrannicalinclination，thatwheneverhewentoutofdoorshecausedhisservantstofilltheirpocketswithgoldandsilver，andmeetinginthestreetyoursprucegallantsandbettersortofbeaux，withouttheleastprovocation，forhisfancy，heusedtostrikethemhardonthefacewithhisfist；andimmediatelyafterthat，toappeasethemandhinderthemfromcomplainingtothemagistrates，hewouldgivethemasmuchmoneyassatisfiedthemaccordingtothelawofthetwelvetables。Thusheusedtospendhisrevenue，beatingpeopleforthepriceofhismoney。BySt。Bennet\'ssacredboot，quothFriarJohn，Iwillknowthetruthofitpresently。
Thissaid，hewentonshore，puthishandinhisfob，andtookouttwentyducats；thensaidwithaloudvoice，inthehearingofashoalofthenationofcatchpoles，Whowillearntwentyducatsforbeingbeatenlikethedevil？Io，Io，Io，saidtheyall；youwillcrippleusforever，sir，thatismostcertain；butthemoneyistempting。Withthistheywereallthrongingwhoshouldbefirsttobethuspreciouslybeaten。FriarJohnsingledhimoutofthewholeknotoftheseroguesingrain，ared-snoutedcatchpole，whouponhisrightthumbworeathickbroadsilverhoop，whereinwassetagoodlargetoadstone。Hehadnosoonerpickedhimoutfromtherest，butIperceivedthattheyallmutteredandgrumbled；andIheardayoungthin-jawedcatchpole，anotablescholar，aprettyfellowathispen，and，accordingtopublicreport，muchcriedupforhishonestyatDoctors\'
Commons，makinghiscomplaintandmutteringbecausethissamecrimsonphizcarriedawayallthepractice，andthatiftherewerebutascoreandahalfofbastinadoestobegot，hewouldcertainlyrunawaywitheightandtwentyofthem。Butallthiswaslookedupontobenothingbutmereenvy。
FriarJohnsounmercifullythrashed，thumped，andbelabouredRed-snout，backandbelly，sides，legs，andarms，head，feet，andsoforth，withthehomeandfarewellrepeatedapplicationofoneofthebestmembersofafaggot，thatItookhimtobeadeadman；thenhegavehimthetwentyducats，whichmadethedoggetonhislegs，pleasedlikealittlekingortwo。TherestweresayingtoFriarJohn，Sir，sir，brotherdevil，ifitpleaseyoutodousthefavourtobeatsomeofusforlessmoney，weareallatyourdevilship\'scommand，bags，papers，pens，andall。Red-snoutcriedoutagainstthem，saying，withaloudvoice，Bodyofme，youlittleprigs，willyouoffertotakethebreadoutofmymouth？willyoutakemybargainovermyhead？wouldyoudrawandinveiglefrommemyclientsandcustomers？Takenotice，Isummonyoubeforetheofficialthisdaysevennight；IwilllawandclawyoulikeanyolddevilofVauverd，thatI
will——ThenturninghimselftowardsFriarJohn，withasmilingandjoyfullook，hesaidtohim，Reverendfatherinthedevil，ifyouhavefoundmeagoodhide，andhaveamindtodivertyourselfoncemorebybeatingyourhumbleservant，Iwillbateyouhalfinhalfthistimeratherthanloseyourcustom；donotspareme，Ibeseechyou；Iamall，andmorethanall，yours，goodMr。Devil；head，lungs，tripes，guts，andgarbage；andthatatapennyworth，I\'llassureyou。FriarJohnneverheededhisproffers，butevenleftthem。TheothercatchpolesweremakingaddressestoPanurge，Epistemon，Gymnast，andothers，entreatingthemcharitablytobestowupontheircarcassesasmallbeating，forotherwisetheywereindangerofkeepingalongfast；butnoneofthemhadastomachtoit。Sometimeafter，seekingfreshwaterfortheship\'scompany，wemetacoupleofoldfemalecatchpolesoftheplace，miserablyhowlingandweepinginconcert。
Pantagruelhadkeptonboard，andalreadyhadcausedaretreattobesounded。Thinkingthattheymightberelatedtothecatchpolethatwasbastinadoed，weaskedthemtheoccasionoftheirgrief。Theyrepliedthattheyhadtoomuchcausetoweep；forthatveryhour，fromanexaltedtripletree，twoofthehonestestgentlemeninCatchpole-landhadbeenmadetocutacaperonnothing。Cutacaperonnothing，saidGymnast；mypagesusetocutcapersontheground；tocutacaperonnothingshouldbehangingandchoking，orIamout。Ay，ay，saidFriarJohn；youspeakofitlikeSt。
JohndelaPalisse。
Weaskedthemwhytheytreatedtheseworthypersonswithsuchachokinghempensalad。Theytoldustheyhadonlyborrowed，aliasstolen，thetoolsofthemassandhidthemunderthehandleoftheparish。Thisisaveryallegoricalwayofspeaking，saidEpistemon。
Chapter4。XVII。
HowPantagruelcametotheislandsofTohuandBohu；andofthestrangedeathofWide-nostrils，theswallowerofwindmills。
ThatdayPantagruelcametothetwoislandsofTohuandBohu，wherethedevilabitwecouldfindanythingtofrywith。ForoneWide-nostrils，ahugegiant，hadswallowedeveryindividualpan，skillet，kettle，frying-
pan，dripping-pan，andbrassandironpotintheland，forwantofwindmills，whichwerehisdailyfood。Whenceithappenedthatsomewhatbeforeday，aboutthehourofhisdigestion，thegreedychurlwastakenveryillwithakindofasurfeit，orcrudityofstomach，occasioned，asthephysicianssaid，bytheweaknessoftheconcoctingfacultyofhisstomach，naturallydisposedtodigestwholewindmillsatagust，yetunabletoconsumeperfectlythepansandskillets；thoughithadindeedprettywelldigestedthekettlesandpots，astheysaidtheyknewbythehypostasesandeneoremesoffourtubsofsecond-handdrinkwhichhehadevacuatedattwodifferenttimesthatmorning。Theymadeuseofdiversremedies，accordingtoart，togivehimease；butallwouldnotdo；thedistemperprevailedovertheremedies；insomuchthatthefamousWide-
nostrilsdiedthatmorningofsostrangeadeaththatIthinkyououghtnolongertowonderatthatofthepoetAeschylus。Ithadbeenforetoldhimbythesoothsayersthathewoulddieonacertaindaybytheruinofsomethingthatshouldfallonhim。Thefataldaybeingcomeinitsturn，heremovedhimselfoutoftown，farfromallhouses，trees，rocks，oranyotherthingsthatcanfallandendangerbytheirruin；andstrayedinalargefield，trustinghimselftotheopensky；thereverysecure，ashethought，unlessindeedtheskyshouldhappentofall，whichheheldtobeimpossible。Yettheysaythatthelarksaremuchafraidofit；forifitshouldfall，theymustallbetaken。
TheCeltsthatoncelivedneartheRhine——theyareournoblevaliantFrench——inancienttimeswerealsoafraidofthesky\'sfalling；forbeingaskedbyAlexandertheGreatwhattheyfearedmostinthisworld，hopingwelltheywouldsaythattheyfearednonebuthim，consideringhisgreatachievements，theymadeanswerthattheyfearednothingbutthesky\'sfalling；however，notrefusingtoenterintoaconfederacywithsobraveaking，ifyoubelieveStrabo，lib。7，andArrian，lib。I。
Plutarchalso，inhisbookofthefacethatappearsonthebodyofthemoon，speaksofonePhenaces，whoverymuchfearedthemoonshouldfallontheearth，andpitiedthosethatliveunderthatplanet，astheAethiopiansandTaprobanians，ifsoheavyamasseverhappenedtofallonthem，andwouldhavefearedthelikeofheavenandearthhadtheynotbeendulyproppedupandbornebytheAtlanticpillars，astheancientsbelieved，accordingtoAristotle\'stestimony，lib。5，Metaphys。Notwithstandingallthis，poorAeschyluswaskilledbythefalloftheshellofatortoise，whichfallingfrombetwixttheclawsofaneaglehighintheair，justonhishead，dashedouthisbrains。
Neitheroughtyoutowonderatthedeathofanotherpoet，ImeanoldjollyAnacreon，whowaschokedwithagrape-stone。NoratthatofFabiustheRomanpraetor，whowaschokedwithasinglegoat\'shairashewassuppingupaporringerofmilk。Noratthedeathofthatbashfulfool，whobyholdinginhiswind，andforwantoflettingoutabum-gunshot，diedsuddenlyinthepresenceoftheEmperorClaudius。NoratthatoftheItalianburiedontheViaFlaminiaatRome，whoinhisepitaphcomplainsthatthebiteofashe-pussonhislittlefingerwasthecauseofhisdeath。NorofthatofQ。LecaniusBassus，whodiedsuddenlyofsosmallaprickwithaneedleonhisleftthumbthatitcouldhardlybediscerned。
NorofQuenelault，aNormanphysician，whodiedsuddenlyatMontpellier，merelyforhavingsidewaystookawormoutofhishandwithapenknife。
NorofPhilomenes，whoseservanthavinggothimsomenewfigsforthefirstcourseofhisdinner，whilsthewenttofetchwine，astragglingwell-hungassgotintothehouse，andseeingthefigsonthetable，withoutfurtherinvitationsoberlyfellto。Philomenescomingintotheroomandnicelyobservingwithwhatgravitytheassateitsdinner，saidtotheman，whowascomeback，Sincethouhastsetfigshereforthisreverendguestofourstoeat，methinksitisbutreasonthoualsogivehimsomeofthiswinetodrink。Hehadnosoonersaidthis，buthewassoexcessivelypleased，andfellintosoexorbitantafitoflaughter，thattheuseofhisspleentookthatofhisbreathutterlyaway，andheimmediatelydied。NorofSpuriusSaufeius，whodiedsuppingupasoft-boiledeggashecameoutofabath。Norofhimwho，asBoccacciotellsus，diedsuddenlybypickinghisgrinderswithasage-stalk。NorofPhillipotPlacut，whobeingbriskandhale，felldeadashewaspayinganolddebt；whichcauses，perhaps，manynottopaytheirs，forfearofthelikeaccident。NorofthepainterZeuxis，whokilledhimselfwithlaughingatthesightoftheantiquejobbernowlofanoldhagdrawnbyhim。Nor，inshort，ofathousandmoreofwhichauthorswrite，asVarrius，Pliny，Valerius，J。BaptistaFulgosus，andBacaberytheelder。Inshort，GafferWide-nostrilschokedhimselfwitheatingahugelumpoffreshbutteratthemouthofahotovenbytheadviceofphysicians。
TheylikewisetoldustherethattheKingofCullaninBohuhadroutedthegrandeesofKingMecloth，andmadesadworkwiththefortressesofBelima。
Afterthis，wesailedbytheislandsofNarguesandZargues；alsobytheislandsofTeleniabinandGeleniabin，veryfineandfruitfuliningredientsforclysters；andthenbytheislandsofEnigandEvig，onwhoseaccountformerlytheLandgraveofHessewasswingedoffwithavengeance。
Chapter4。XVIII。
HowPantagruelmetwithagreatstormatsea。
Thenextdayweespiedninesailthatcamespooningbeforethewind；theywerefullofDominicans，Jesuits，Capuchins，Hermits，Austins，Bernardins，Egnatins，Celestins，Theatins，Amadeans，Cordeliers，Carmelites，Minims，andthedevilandallofotherholymonksandfriars，whoweregoingtotheCouncilofChesil，tosiftandgarblesomenewarticlesoffaithagainstthenewheretics。Panurgewasoverjoyedtoseethem，beingmostcertainofgoodluckforthatdayandalongtrainofothers。Sohavingcourteouslysalutedtheblessedfathers，andrecommendedthesalvationofhisprecioussoultotheirdevoutprayersandprivateejaculations，hecausedseventy-
eightdozenofWestphaliahams，unitsofpotsofcaviare，tensofBoloniasausages，hundredsofbotargoes，andthousandsoffineangels，forthesoulsofthedead，tobethrownonboardtheirships。Pantagruelseemedmetagrabolized，dozing，outofsorts，andasmelancholicasacat。FriarJohn，whosoonperceivedit，wasinquiringofhimwhenceshouldcomethisunusualsadness；whenthemaster，whosewatchitwas，observingtheflutteringoftheancientabovethepoop，andseeingthatitbegantoovercast，judgedthatweshouldhavewind；thereforehebidtheboatswaincallallhandsupondeck，officers，sailors，foremast-men，swabbers，andcabin-boys，andeventhepassengers；madethemfirstsettletheirtopsails，takeintheirspritsail；thenhecried，Inwithyourtopsails，lowertheforesail，tallowunderparrels，braidupcloseallthemsails，strikeyourtopmaststothecap，makeallsurewithyoursheeps-feet，lashyourgunsfast。Allthiswasnimblydone。Immediatelyitblowedastorm；theseabegantoroarandswellmountain-high；therutoftheseawasgreat，thewavesbreakinguponourship\'squarter；thenorth-westwindblusteredandoverblowed；boisterousgusts，dreadfulclashing，anddeadlyscudsofwindwhistledthroughouryardsandmadeourshroudsrattleagain。Thethundergrumbledsohorridlythatyouwouldhavethoughtheavenhadbeentumblingaboutourears；atthesametimeitlightened，rained，hailed；theskylostitstransparenthue，grewdusky，thick，andgloomy，sothatwehadnootherlightthanthatoftheflashesoflightningandrendingoftheclouds。Thehurricanes，flaws，andsuddenwhirlwindsbegantomakeaflameaboutusbythelightnings，fieryvapours，andotheraerialejaculations。Oh，howourlookswerefullofamazementandtrouble，whilethesaucywindsdidrudelyliftupaboveusthemountainouswavesofthemain！Believeme，itseemedtousalivelyimageofthechaos，wherefire，air，sea，land，andalltheelementswereinarefractoryconfusion。PoorPanurgehavingwiththefullcontentsoftheinsideofhisdoubletplentifullyfedthefish，greedyenoughofsuchodiousfare，satonthedeckallinaheap，withhisnoseandarsetogether，mostsadlycastdown，mopingandhalfdead；invokedandcalledtohisassistancealltheblessedhe-andshe-saintshecouldmusterup；sworeandvowedtoconfessintimeandplaceconvenient，andthenbawledoutfrightfully，Steward，maitred\'hotel，seeho！myfriend，myfather，myuncle，pritheeletushaveapieceofpowderedbeeforpork；weshalldrinkbuttoomuchanon，foraughtIsee。Eatlittleanddrinkthemorewillhereafterbemymotto，Ifear。WouldtoourdearLord，andtoourblessed，worthy，andsacredLady，Iwerenow，Isay，thisveryminuteofanhour，wellonshore，onterrafirma，haleandeasy。Otwiceandthricehappythosethatplantcabbages！Odestinies，whydidyounotspinmeforacabbage-planter？OhowfewaretheretowhomJupiterhathbeensofavourableastopredestinatethemtoplantcabbages！Theyhavealwaysonefootontheground，andtheothernotfarfromit。Disputewhowilloffelicityandsummumbonum，formypartwhosoeverplantscabbagesisnow，bymydecree，proclaimedmosthappy；forasgoodareasonasthephilosopherPyrrho，beinginthesamedanger，andseeingahogneartheshoreeatingsomescatteredoats，declaredithappyintworespects；first，becauseithadplentyofoats，andbesidesthat，wasonshore。Ha，foradivineandprincelyhabitation，commendmetothecows\'floor。
Murder！Thiswavewillsweepusaway，blessedSaviour！Omyfriends！alittlevinegar。Isweatagainwithmereagony。Alas！themizen-sail\'ssplit，thegallery\'swashedaway，themastsaresprung，themaintop-
mastheaddivesintothesea；thekeelisuptothesun；ourshroudsarealmostallbroke，andblownaway。Alas！alas！whereisourmaincourse？
Alisverlooren，byGodt！ourtopmastisrunadrift。Alas！whoshallhavethiswreck？Friend，lendmeherebehindyouoneofthesewhales。Yourlanternisfallen，mylads。Alas！donotletgothemain-tacknorthebowline。Iheartheblockcrack；isitbroke？FortheLord\'ssake，letushavethehull，andletalltheriggingbedamned。Be，be，be，bous，bous，bous。Looktotheneedleofyourcompass，Ibeseechyou，goodSirAstrophil，andtellus，ifyoucan，whencecomesthisstorm。Myheart\'ssunkdownbelowmymidriff。Bymytroth，Iaminasadfright，bou，bou，bou，bous，bous，Iamlostforever。Iconskitemyselfformeremadnessandfear。Bou，bou，bou，bou，Ottotototototi。Bou，bou，bou，ou，ou，ou，bou，bou，bous。Isink，I\'mdrowned，I\'mgone，goodpeople，I\'mdrowned。