Chapter3。XXXVIII。
HowTribouletissetforthandblazedbyPantagruelandPanurge。
Bymysoul，quothPanurge，thatoverturepleasethmeexceedinglywell。I
willthereforelayholdthereon，andembraceit。Attheverymotioningthereofmyveryrightentrailseemethtobewidenedandenlarged，whichwasbutjustnowhard-bound，contracted，andcostive。Butaswehavehithertomadechoiceofthepurestandmostrefinedcreamofwisdomandsapienceforourcounsel，sowouldInowhavetopresideandbeartheprimeswayinourconsultationasveryafoolinthesupremedegree。Triboulet，quothPantagruel，iscompletelyfoolish，asIconceive。Yes，truly，answeredPanurge，heisproperlyandtotallyafool，aPantagruel。Panurge。
Fatalf。Jovialf。
Naturalf。Mercurialf。
Celestialf。Lunaticf。
Erraticf。Ducalf。
Eccentricf。Commonf。
AetherealandJunonianf。Lordlyf。
Arcticf。Palatinef。
Heroicf。Principalf。
Genialf。Pretorianf。
Inconstantf。Electedf。
Earthlyf。Courtlyf。
Salaciousandsportingf。Primipilaryf。
Jocundandwantonf。Triumphantf。
Pimpledf。Vulgarf。
Freckledf。Domesticf。
Bell-tingingf。Exemplaryf。
Laughingandlecherousf。Rareoutlandishf。
Nimmingandfilchingf。Satrapalf。
Unpressedf。Civilf。
Firstbroachedf。Popularf。
Augustalf。Familiarf。
Caesarinef。Notablef。
Imperialf。Favourizedf。
Royalf。Latinizedf。
Patriarchalf。Ordinaryf。
Originalf。Transcendentf。
Loyalf。Risingf。
Episcopalf。Papalf。
Doctoralf。Consistorianf。
Monachalf。Conclavistf。
Fiscalf。Bullistf。
Extravagantf。Synodalf。
Writhedf。Dotingandravingf。
Canonicalf。Singularandsurpassingf。
Suchanotherf。Specialandexcellingf。
Graduatedf。Metaphysicalf。
Commensalf。Scaticalf。
Primolicentiatedf。Predicamentalandcategoricf。
Train-bearingf。Predicableandenunciatoryf。
Supererogatingf。Decumaneandsuperlativef。
Collateralf。Dutifulandofficiousf。
Haunchandsidef。Opticalandperspectivef。
Nestling，ninny，andyounglingf。Algoristicf。
Flitting，giddy，andunsteadyf。Algebraicalf。
Brancher，novice，andcockneyf。CabalisticalandMassoreticalf。
Haggard，cross，andfrowardf。Talmudicalf。
Gentle，mild，andtractablef。Algamalizedf。
Mail-coatedf。Compendiousf。
Pilferingandpurloiningf。Abbreviatedf。
Tail-grownf。Hyperbolicalf。
Greypeckledf。Anatomasticalf。
Pleonasmicalf。Allegoricalf。
Capitalf。Tropologicalf。
Hair-brainedf。Micherpincrustf。
Cordialf。Heteroclitf。
Intimatef。Summistf。
Hepaticf。Abridgingf。
Cupshottenandswillingf。Morrishf。
Spleneticf。Leaden-sealedf。
Windyf。Mandatoryf。
Legitimatef。Compassionatef。
Azymathalf。Titularyf。
Almicantarizedf。Crouching，showking，duckingf。
Proportionedf。Grim，stern，harsh，andwaywardf。
Chinnifiedf。Well-hungandtimberedf。
Swollenandpuffedupf。Ill-clawed，pounced，andpawedf。
Overcockrifedlidandlifiedf。Well-stonedf。
Coralloryf。Crabbedandunpleasingf。
Easternf。Windedanduntaintedf。
Sublimef。Kitchenhauntingf。
Crimsonf。Loftyandstatelyf。
Ingrainedf。Spitrackf。
Cityf。Architravef。
Baselyaccoutredf。Pedestalf。
Mast-headedf。Tetragonalf。
Modalf。Renownedf。
Secondnotialf。Rheumaticf。
Cheerfulandbuxomf。Flauntingandbraggadociof。
Solemnf。Egregiousf。
Annualf。Humourousandcapriciousf。
Festivalf。Rude，gross，andabsurdf。
Recreativef。Large-measuredf。
Boorishandcounterfeitf。Babblef。
Pleasantf。Down-rightf。
Privilegedf。Broad-listedf。
Rusticalf。Duncical-bearingf。
Properandpeculiarf。Staleandover-wornf。
Everreadyf。Saucyandswaggeringf。
Diapasonalf。Full-bulkedf。
Resolutef。Gallantandvaingloriousf。
Hieroglyphicalf。Gorgeousandgaudyf。
Authenticf。Continualandintermittingf。
Worthyf。Rebasingandroundlingf。
Preciousf。Prototypalandprecedentingf。
Fanaticf。Pratingf。
Fantasticalf。Catecheticf。
Symphaticf。Cacodoxicalf。
Panicf。Meridionalf。
Limbeckedanddistilledf。Nocturnalf。
Comportablef。Occidentalf。
Wretchedandheartlessf。Triflingf。
Foodedf。Astrologicalandfigure-flingingf。
Thickandthreefoldf。Genethliacandhoroscopalf。
Damaskedf。Knavishf。
Fearneyf。Idiotf。
Unleavenedf。Blockishf。
Baritonantf。Beetle-headedf。
Pinkandspot-powderedf。Grotesquef。
Musket-prooff。Impertinentf。
Pedanticf。Quarrelsomef。
Stroutingf。Unmannerlyf。
Woodf。Captiousandsophisticalf。
Greedyf。Soriticf。
Senselessf。Catholoprotonf。
Godderlichf。HotiandDiotif。
Obstinatef。AlphosandCatatif。
Contradictoryf。
Pedagogicalf。
Daftf。
Drunkenf。
Peevishf。
Prodigalf。
Rashf。
Ploddingf。
Pantagruel。IftherewasanyreasonwhyatRometheQuirinalholidayofoldwascalledtheFeastofFools，IknownotwhywemaynotforthelikecauseinstituteinFrancetheTribouleticFestivals，tobecelebratedandsolemnizedoveralltheland。
Pantagruel。Ifallfoolscarriedcruppers。
Pantagruel。IfhewerethegodFatuusofwhomwehavealreadymademention，thehusbandofthegoddessFatua，hisfatherwouldbeGoodDay，andhisgrandmotherGoodEven。
Panurge。Ifallfoolspaced，albeithebesomewhatwry-legged，hewouldoverlayatleastafathomateveryrake。Letusgotowardhimwithoutanyfurtherlingeringordelay；weshallhave，nodoubt，somefineresolutionofhim。Iamreadytogo，andlongfortheissueofourprogressimpatiently。Imustneeds，quothPantagruel，accordingtomyformerresolutiontherein，bepresentatBridlegoose\'strial。Nevertheless，whilstIshallbeuponmyjourneytowardsMirelingues，whichisontheothersideoftheriverofLoire，IwilldespatchCarpalintobringalongwithhimfromBloisthefoolTriboulet。ThenwasCarpalininstantlysentaway，andPantagruel，atthesametimeattendedbyhisdomestics，Panurge，Epistemon，Ponocrates，FriarJohn，Gymnast，Ryzotomus，andothers，marchedforwardonthehighroadtoMirelingues。
Chapter3。XXXIX。
HowPantagruelwaspresentatthetrialofJudgeBridlegoose，whodecidedcausesandcontroversiesinlawbythechanceandfortuneofthedice。
Onthedayfollowing，preciselyatthehourappointed，PantagruelcametoMirelingues。Athisarrivalthepresidents，senators，andcounsellorsprayedhimtodothemthehonourtoenterinwiththem，tohearthedecisionofallthecauses，arguments，andreasonswhichBridlegooseinhisowndefencewouldproduce，whyhehadpronouncedacertainsentenceagainstthesubsidy-assessor，Toucheronde，whichdidnotseemveryequitabletothatcentumviralcourt。Pantagruelverywillinglycondescendedtotheirdesire，andaccordinglyenteringin，foundBridlegoosesittingwithinthemiddleoftheenclosureofthesaidcourtofjustice；whoimmediatelyuponthecomingofPantagruel，accompaniedwiththesenatorianmembersofthatworshipfuljudicatory，arose，wenttothebar，hadhisindictmentread，andforallhisreasons，defences，andexcuses，answerednothingelsebutthathewasbecomeold，andthathissightoflatewasverymuchfailed，andbecomedimmerthanitwaswonttobe；instancingtherewithalmanymiseriesandcalamitieswhicholdagebringethalongwithit，andareconcomitanttowrinkledelders；whichnot。perArchid。d。lxxxvi。c。tanta。Byreasonofwhichinfirmityhewasnotablesodistinctlyandclearlytodiscernthepointsandblotsofthediceasformerlyhehadbeenaccustomedtodo；
whenceitmightverywellhavehappened，saidhe，asolddim-sightedIsaactookJacobforEsau，thatIafterthesamemanner，atthedecisionofcausesandcontroversiesinlaw，shouldhavebeenmistakenintakingaquatreforacinque，oratreyforadeuce。ThisIbeseechyourworships，quothhe，totakeintoyourseriousconsideration，andtohavethemorefavourableopinionofmyuprightness，notwithstandingtheprevaricationwhereofIamaccusedinthematterofToucheronde\'ssentence，thatatthetimeofthatdecree\'spronouncingIonlyhadmadeuseofmysmalldice；andyourworships，saidhe，knowverywellhowbythemostauthenticrulesofthelawitisprovidedthattheimperfectionsofnatureshouldneverbeimputeduntoanyforcrimesandtransgressions；asappeareth，ff。deremilit。l。quicumuno。ff。dereg。Jur。l。fere。ff。deaedil。edict。pertotum。ff。determ。mod。l。DivusAdrianus，resolvedbyLud。Rom。inl。sivero。ff。Sol。Matr。Andwhowouldoffertodootherwise，shouldnottherebyaccusetheman，butnature，andtheall-seeingprovidenceofGod，asisevidentinl。MaximumVitium，c。delib。praeter。
Whatkindofdice，quothTrinquamelle，grand-presidentofthesaidcourt，doyoumean，myfriendBridlegoose？Thedice，quothBridlegoose，ofsentencesatlaw，decrees，andperemptoryjudgments，AleaJudiciorum，whereofiswritten，PerDoct。26。qu。2。cap。sort。l。necemptioff。decontrahend。empt。l。quoddebetur。ff。depecul。etibiBartol。，andwhichyourworshipsdo，aswellasI，use，inthisglorioussovereigncourtofyours。Sodoallotherrighteousjudgesintheirdecisionofprocessesandfinaldeterminationoflegaldifferences，observingthatwhichhathbeensaidthereofbyD。Henri。Ferrandat，etnot。gl。inc。fin。desortil。etl。sedcumambo。ff。dejud。UbiDocto。Mark，thatchanceandfortunearegood，honest，profitable，andnecessaryforendingofandputtingafinalclosuretodissensionsanddebatesinsuitsatlaw。ThesamehathmoreclearlybeendeclaredbyBald。Bartol。etAlex。c。communiadeleg。l。Siduo。Buthowisitthatyoudothesethings？askedTrinquamelle。Iverybriefly，quothBridlegoose，shallansweryou，accordingtothedoctrineandinstructionsofLeg。ampliorempara。inrefutatoriis。c。deappel。；whichisconformtowhatissaidinGlossl。I。ff。quodmet。causa。Gaudentbrevitatemoderni。Mypracticeisthereinthesamewiththatofyourotherworships，andasthecustomofthejudicatoryrequires，untowhichourlawcommandethustohaveregard，andbytherulethereofstilltodirectandregulateouractionsandprocedures；utnot。extra。deconsuet。inc。exliterisetibiinnoc。Forhavingwellandexactlyseen，surveyed，overlooked，reviewed，recognized，read，andreadoveragain，turnedandtossedover，seriouslyperusedandexaminedthebillsofcomplaint，accusations，impeachments，indictments，warnings，citations，summonings，comparitions，appearances，mandates，commissions，delegations，instructions，informations，inquests，preparatories，productions，evidences，proofs，allegations，depositions，crossspeeches，contradictions，supplications，requests，petitions，inquiries，instrumentsofthedepositionofwitnesses，rejoinders，replies，confirmationsofformerassertions，duplies，triplies，answerstorejoinders，writings，deeds，reproaches，disablingofexceptionstaken，grievances，salvationbills，re-examinationofwitnesses，confrontingofthemtogether，declarations，denunciations，libels，certificates，royalmissives，lettersofappeal，lettersofattorney，instrumentsofcompulsion，delineatories，anticipatories，evocations，messages，dimissions，issues，exceptions，dilatorypleas，demurs，compositions，injunctions，reliefs，reports，returns，confessions，acknowledgments，exploits，executions，andothersuch-likeconfectsandspiceries，bothattheoneandtheotherside，asagoodjudgeoughttodo，conformtowhathathbeennotedthereupon。Spec。
deordination。Paragr。3。etTit。deOffi。omn。jud。paragr。fin。etderescriptispraesentat。parag。I——Ipositontheendofatableinmyclosetallthepokesandbagsofthedefendant，andthenallowuntohimthefirsthazardofthedice，accordingtotheusualmannerofyourotherworships。Anditismentioned，l。favorabiliores。ff。dereg。jur。etincap。cumsunteod。tit。lib。6，whichsaith，Quumsuntpartiumjuraobscura，reopotiusfavendumestquamactori。Thatbeingdone，I
thereafterlaydownupontheotherendofthesametablethebagsandsatchelsoftheplaintiff，asyourotherworshipsareaccustomedtodo，visumvisu，justoveragainstoneanother；forOppositajuxtasepositaclariuselucescunt:utnot。inlib。I。parag。Videamus。ff。dehisquisuntsuivelalienijuris，etinl。munerum。para。mixtaff。demun。ethon。ThendoIlikewiseandsemblablythrowthediceforhim，andforthwithlivrehimhischance。But，quothTrinquamelle，myfriend，howcomeyoutoknow，understand，andresolvetheobscurityofthesevariousandseemingcontrarypassagesinlaw，whicharelaidclaimtobythesuitorsandpleadingparties？Evenjust，quothBridlegoose，afterthefashionofyourotherworships；towit，whentherearemanybagsontheonesideandontheother，Ithenusemylittlesmalldice，afterthecustomarymannerofyourotherworships，inobediencetothelaw，Semperinstipulationibusff。dereg。jur。Andthelawversifiedversifieththat，Eod。tit。Semperinobscurisquodminimumestsequimur；canonizedinc。inobscuris。eod。tit。lib。6。Ihaveotherlargegreatdice，fairandgoodlyones，whichIemployinthefashionthatyourotherworshipsusetodo，whenthematterismoreplain，clear，andliquid，thatistosay，whentherearefewerbags。Butwhenyouhavedoneallthesefinethings，quothTrinquamelle，howdoyou，myfriend，awardyourdecrees，andpronouncejudgment？Evenasyourotherworships，answeredBridlegoose；forIgiveoutsentenceinhisfavouruntowhomhathbefallenthebestchancebydice，judiciary，tribunian，pretorial，whatcomesfirst。Soourlawscommand，ff。quipot。inpign。l。creditor，c。deconsul。I。Etderegul。jur。in6。Quiprioresttemporepotiorestjure。
Chapter3。XL。
HowBridlegoosegivethreasonswhyhelookeduponthoselaw-actionswhichhedecidedbythechanceofthedice。
Yeabut，quothTrinquamelle，myfriend，seeingitisbythelot，chance，andthrowofthedicethatyouawardyourjudgmentsandsentences，whydonotyoulivreupthesefairthrowsandchancestheverysamedayandhour，withoutanyfurtherprocrastinationordelay，thatthecontrovertingparty-
pleadersappearbeforeyou？Towhatusecanthosewritingsserveyou，thosepapersandotherprocedurescontainedinthebagsandpokesofthelaw-suitors？Totheverysameuse，quothBridlegoose，thattheyserveyourotherworships。Theyarebehoovefuluntome，andservemyturninthreethingsveryexquisite，requisite，andauthentical。First，forformalitysake，theomissionwhereof，thatitmakethall，whateverisdone，tobeofnoforcenorvalue，isexcellentlywellproved，bySpec。I。tit。deinstr。
edit。ettit。derescript。praesent。Besidesthat，itisnotunknowntoyou，whohavehadmanymoreexperimentsthereofthanI，howoftentimes，injudicialproceedings，theformalitiesutterlydestroythematerialitiesandsubstancesofthecausesandmattersagitated；forFormamutata，mutatursubstantia。ff。adexhib。l。Julianus。ff。adleg。Fal。l。siisquiquadraginta。Etextradedecim。c。adaudientiam，etdecelebrat。miss。c。
inquadam。
Secondly，theyareusefulandsteadabletome，evenasuntoyourotherworships，inlieuofsomeotherhonestandhealthfulexercise。ThelateMasterOthomanVadetVadere，aprimephysician，asyouwouldsay，Cod。deComit。etArchi。lib。12，hathfrequentlytoldmethatthelackanddefaultofbodilyexerciseisthechief，ifnotthesoleandonlycauseofthelittlehealthandshortlivesofallofficersofjustice，suchasyourworshipsandIam。WhichobservationwassingularlywellbeforehimnotedandremarkedbyBartholusinlib。I。c。desent。quaeproeoquod。
Thereforeitisthatthepracticeofsuch-likeexercitationsisappointedtobelaidholdonbyyourotherworships，andconsequentlynottobedenieduntome，whoamofthesameprofession；Quiaaccessoriumnaturamsequiturprincipalis。dereg。jur。l。6。etl。cumprincipalis。etl。nihildolo。ff。eod。tit。ff。defide-juss。l。fide-juss。etextradeofficiodeleg。cap。I。Letcertainhonestandrecreativesportsandplaysofcorporealexercisesbeallowedandapprovedof；andsofar，ff。deallus。
etaleat。l。solent。etauthent。utomnesobed。inprinc。coll。7。etff。
depraescript。verb。l。sigratuitametl。I。cod。despect。l。II。SuchalsoistheopinionofD。Thom，insecunda，secundaeQ。I。168。QuotedinverygoodpurposebyD。AlbertdeRosa，whofuitmagnuspracticus，andasolemndoctor，asBarbatiasattestethinprincipiisconsil。Whereforethereasonisevidentlyandclearlydeducedandsetdownbeforeusingloss。inprooemio。ff。par。neautemtertii。
Interponetuisinterdumgaudiacuris。
Inverydeed，once，intheyearathousandfourhundredfourscoreandninth，havingabusinessconcerningtheportionandinheritanceofayoungerbrotherdependinginthecourtandchamberofthefourhightreasurersofFrance，whereintoassoonaseverIgotleavetoenterbyapecuniarypermissionoftheusherthereof，——asyourotherworshipsknowverywell，thatPecuniaeobediuntomnia，andtheresaysBaldus，inl。
singularia。ff。sicert。pet。etSalic。inl。receptitia。Cod。deconstit。
pecuni。etCard。inClem。I。debaptism——Ifoundthemallrecreatinganddivertingthemselvesattheplaycalledmuss，eitherbeforeorafterdinner；tome，truly，itisathingaltogetherindifferentwhetherofthetwoitwas，providedthathicnot。，thatthegameofthemussishonest，healthful，ancient，andlawful，aMuschoinventore，dequocod。depetit。
haered。l。sipostmortem。etMuscarii。Suchasplayandsportitatthemussareexcusableinandbylaw，lib。I。c。deexcus。artific。lib。10。
AndattheverysametimewasMasterTielmanPicquetoneoftheplayersofthatgameofmuss。ThereisnothingthatIdobetterremember，forhelaughedheartilywhenhisfellow-membersoftheaforesaidjudicialchamberspoiledtheircapsinswingeingofhisshoulders。He，nevertheless，dideventhensayuntothem，thatthebangingandflappingofhim，tothewasteandhavocoftheircaps，shouldnot，attheirreturnfromthepalacetotheirownhouses，excusethemfromtheirwives，Per。c。extra。depraesumpt。etibigloss。Now，resolutorieloquendo，Ishouldsay，accordingtothestyleandphraseofyourotherworships，thatthereisnoexercise，sport，game，play，norrecreationinallthispalatine，palatial，orparliamentaryworld，morearomatizingandfragrantthantoemptyandvoidbagsandpurses，turnoverpapersandwritings，quotemarginsandbacksofscrollsandrolls，fillpanniers，andtakeinspectionofcauses，Ex。Bart。etJoan。dePra。inl。falsa。decondit。etdemonst。ff。
Thirdly，Iconsider，asyourownworshipsusetodo，thattimeripenethandbringethallthingstomaturity，thatbytimeeverythingcomethtobemademanifestandpatent，andthattimeisthefatheroftruthandvirtue。
Gloss。inl。I。cod。deservit。authent。derestit。eteaquaepa。etspec。
tit。derequisit。cons。Thereforeisitthat，afterthemannerandfashionofyourotherworships，Idefer，protract，delay，prolong，intermit，surcease，pause，linger，suspend，prorogate，driveout，wire-draw，andshiftoffthetimeofgivingadefinitivesentence，totheendthatthesuitorprocess，beingwellfannedandwinnowed，tossedandcanvassedtoandfro，narrowly，precisely，andnearlygarbled，sifted，searched，andexamined，andonallhandsexactlyargued，disputed，anddebated，may，bysuccessionoftime，comeatlasttoitsfullripenessandmaturity。Bymeanswhereof，whenthefatalhazardofthediceensueththereupon，thepartiescastorcondemnedbythesaidaleatorychancewillwithmuchgreaterpatience，andmoremildlyandgently，endureandbearupthedisastrousloadoftheirmisfortune，thaniftheyhadbeensentencedattheirfirstarrivaluntothecourt，asnot。gl。ff。deexcus。tut。l。tria。
onera。
Portaturleviterquodportatquisquelibenter。
Ontheotherpart，topassadecreeorsentencewhentheactionisraw，crude，green，unripe，unprepared，asatthebeginning，adangerwouldensueofanolessinconveniencythanthatwhichthephysicianshavebeenwonttosaybefallethtohiminwhomanimposthumeispiercedbeforeitberipe，oruntoanyotherwhosebodyispurgedofastrongpredominatinghumourbeforeitsdigestion。Forasitiswritten，inauthent。haecconstit。inInnoc。
deconstit。princip。，soisthesamerepeatedingloss。inc。caeterum。
extra。dejuram。calumn。Quodmedicamentamorbisexhibent，hocjuranegotiis。Naturefurthermoreadmonishethandteachethustogatherandreap，eatandfeedonfruitswhentheyareripe，andnotbefore。Instit。
derer。div。paragr。isadquemetff。deaction。empt。l。Julianus。Tomarrylikewiseourdaughterswhentheyareripe，andnosooner，ff。dedonation。intervir。etuxor。l。cumhicstatus。paragr。siquissponsam。
et27qu。I。c。sicutdicit。gl。
JammaturathoroplenisadoleveratannisVirginitas。
And，inaword，sheinstructethustodonothingofanyconsiderableimportance，butinafullmaturityandripeness，23。q。parault。et23。dec。ultimo。
Chapter3。XLI。
HowBridlegooserelateththehistoryofthereconcilersofpartiesatvarianceinmattersoflaw。
Iremembertothesamepurpose，quothBridlegoose，incontinuinghisdiscourse，thatinthetimewhenatPoictiersIwasastudentoflawunderBrocadiumJuris，therewasatSemerveonePeterDandin，averyhonestman，carefullaboureroftheground，finesingerinachurch-desk，ofgoodreputeandcredit，andolderthanthemostagedofallyourworships；whowaswonttosaythathehadseenthegreatandgoodlygoodman，theCouncilofLateran，withhiswideandbroad-brimmedredhat。Asalso，thathehadbeheldandlookeduponthefairandbeautifulPragmaticalSanctionhiswife，withherhugerosaryorpatenotrianchapletofjet-beadshangingatalargesky-colouredribbon。Thishonestmancompounded，atoned，andagreedmoredifferences，controversies，andvariancesatlawthanhadbeendetermined，voided，andfinishedduringhistimeinthewholepalaceofPoictiers，intheauditoryofMontmorillon，andinthetown-houseoftheoldPartenay。Thisamicabledispositionofhisrenderedhimvenerableandofgreatestimation，sway，power，andauthoritythroughoutalltheneighbouringplacesofChauvigny，Nouaille，Leguge，Vivonne，Mezeaux，Estables，andotherborderingandcircumjacenttowns，villages，andhamlets。Alltheirdebateswerepacifiedbyhim；heputanendtotheirbrabblingsuitsatlawandwranglingdifferences。Byhisadviceandcounselswereaccordsandreconcilementsnolessfirmlymadethaniftheverdictofasovereignjudgehadbeeninterposedtherein，although，inverydeed，hewasnojudgeatall，butarighthonestman，asyoumaywellconceive，——arg。inl。sedsiunius。ff。dejure-jur。etdeverbisobligatoriisl。continuus。Therewasnotahogkilledwithinthreeparishesofhimwhereofhehadnotsomepartofthehasletandpuddings。Hewasalmosteverydayinvitedeithertoamarriagebanquet，christeningfeast，anuprisingorwomen-churchingtreatment，abirthday\'sanniversarysolemnity，amerryfrolicgossiping，orotherwisetosomedeliciousentertainmentinatavern，tomakesomeaccordandagreementbetweenpersonsatoddsandindebatewithoneanother。RemarkwhatIsay；forheneveryetsettledandcompoundedadifferencebetwixtanytwoatvariance，buthestraightmadethepartiesagreedandpacifiedtodrinktogetherasasureandinfallibletokenandsymbolofaperfectandcompletelywell-
cementedreconciliation，signofasoundandsincereamityandpropermarkofanewjoyandgladnesstofollowthereupon，——Utnot。perDoct。ff。deperic。etcom。reivend。l。I。Hehadason，whosenamewasTenotDandin，alusty，young，sturdy，friskingroister，sohelpmeGod！wholikewise，inimitationofhispeace-makingfather，wouldhaveundertakenandmeddledwiththemakingupofvariancesanddecidingofcontroversiesbetwixtdisagreeingandcontentiousparty-pleaders；asyouknow，Saepesoletsimilisessepatri。
Etsequiturleviterfiliamatrisiter。
Utaitgloss。6，quaest。I。c。Siquis。gloss。decons。dist。5。c。2。fin。
etest。not。perDoct。cod。deimpub。etaliissubstit。l。ult。etl。
legitime。ff。destat。hom。gloss。inl。quodsinolit。ff。deaedil。
edict。l。quisquisc。adleg。Jul。Majest。ExcipiofiliosaMonialisusceptosexMonacho。perglos。inc。impudicas。27。quaestione。I。Andsuchwashisconfidencetohavenoworsesuccessthanhisfather，heassumeduntohimselfthetitleofLaw-strife-settler。Hewaslikewiseinthesepacificatorynegotiationssoactiveandvigilant——for，Vigilantibusjurasubveniunt。exl。pupillus。ff。quaeinfraud。cred。etibid。l。nonenim。etinstit。inprooem——thatwhenhehadsmelt，heard，andfullyunderstood——utff。siquandopaup。fec。l。Agaso。gloss。inverb。olfecit，idest，nasumadculumposuit——andfoundthattherewasanywhereinthecountryadebatablematteratlaw，hewouldincontinentlythrustinhisadvice，andsoforwardlyintrudehisopinioninthebusiness，thathemadenobonesofmakingoffer，andtakinguponhimtodecideit，howdifficultsoeveritmighthappentobe，tothefullcontentmentandsatisfactionofbothparties。Itiswritten，Quinonlaboratnonmanducat；andthesaidgl。ff。dedamn。infect。l。quamvis，andCurrereplusquelepasvetulamcompellitegestas。gloss。ff。delib。agnosc。l。siquis。proquafacit。l。
siplures。c。decond。incert。Butsohugelygreatwashismisfortuneinthishisundertaking，thathenevercomposedanydifference，howlittlesoeveryoumayimagineitmighthavebeen，butthat，insteadofreconcilingthepartiesatodds，hedidincense，irritate，andexasperatethemtoahigherpointofdissensionandenmitythanevertheywereatbefore。Yourworshipsknow，Idoubtnot，that，Sermodaturcunctis，animisapientiapaucis。
Gl。ff。dealien。jud。mut。caus。fa。lib。2。Thisadministereduntothetavern-keepers，wine-drawers，andvintnersofSemerveanoccasiontosay，thatunderhimtheyhadnotinthespaceofawholeyearsomuchreconciliation-wine，forsoweretheypleasedtocallthegoodwineofLeguge，asunderhisfathertheyhaddoneinonehalf-hour\'stime。Ithappenedalittlewhilethereafterthathemadeamostheavyregretthereoftohisfather，attributingthecausesofhisbadsuccessinpacificatoryenterprisestotheperversity，stubbornness，froward，cross，andbackwardinclinationsofthepeopleofhistime；roundly，boldly，andirreverentlyupbraiding，thatifbutascoreofyearsbeforetheworldhadbeensowayward，obstinate，pervicacious，implacable，andoutofallsquare，frame，andorderasitwasthen，hisfatherhadneverattainedtoandacquiredthehonourandtitleofStrife-appeasersoirrefragably，inviolably，andirrevocablyashehaddone。IndoingwhereofTenotdidheinouslytransgressagainstthelawwhichprohibitethchildrentoreproachtheactionsoftheirparents；pergl。etBart。l。3。paragr。siquis。ff。decond。obcaus。etauthent。denupt。par。sedquodsancitum。col。4。Tothisthehonestoldfatheransweredthus:MysonDandin，whenDonOportettakethplace，thisisthecoursewhichwemusttrace，gl。c。deappell。l。
eosetiam。Fortheroadthatyouwentuponwasnotthewaytothefuller\'smill，norinanypartthereofwastheformtobefoundwhereintheharedidsit。Thouhastnottheskillanddexterityofsettlingandcomposingdifferences。Why？Becausethoutakestthematthebeginning，intheveryinfancyandbudasitwere，whentheyaregreen，raw，andindigestible。
YetIknowhandsomelyandfeatlyhowtocomposeandsettlethemall。Why？
BecauseItakethemattheirdecadence，intheirweaning，andwhentheyareprettywelldigested。SosaithGloss:
Dulciorestfructuspostmultapericulaductus。
L。nonmoriturus。c。decontrahend。etcommitt。stip。Didstthoueverhearthevulgarproverb，Happyisthephysicianwhosecomingisdesiredatthedeclensionofadisease？Forthesicknessbeingcometoacrisisisthenuponthedecreasinghand，anddrawingtowardsanend，althoughthephysicianshouldnotrepairthitherforthecurethereof；whereby，thoughnaturewhollydothework，hebearsawaythepalmandpraisethereof。Mypleaders，afterthesamemanner，beforeIdidinterposemyjudgmentinthereconcilingofthem，werewaxingfaintintheircontestations。Theiraltercationheatwasmuchabated，and，indecliningfromtheirformerstrife，theyofthemselvesinclinedtoafirmaccommodationoftheirdifferences；becausetherewantedfueltothatfireofburningrancouranddespitefulwranglingwhereofthelowersortoflawyerswerethekindlers。
Thatistosay，theirpurseswereemptiedofcoin，theyhadnotawinintheirfob，norpennyintheirbag，wherewithtosolicitandpresenttheiractions。
Deficientepecu，deficitomne，nia。
Therewantedthennothingbutsomebrothertosupplytheplaceofaparanymph，brawl-broker，proxenete，ormediator，who，actinghispartdexterously，shouldbethefirstbroacherofthemotionofanagreement，forsavingboththeoneandtheotherpartyfromthathurtfulandperniciousshamewhereofhecouldnothaveavoidedtheimputationwhenitshouldhavebeensaidthathewasthefirstwhoyieldedandspokeofareconcilement，andthattherefore，hiscausenotbeinggood，andbeingsensiblewherehisshoedidpinchhim，hewaswillingtobreaktheice，andmakethegreaterhastetopreparethewayforacondescendmenttoanamicableandfriendlytreaty。ThenwasitthatIcameinpuddingtime，Dandin，myson，noristhefatofbaconmorerelishingtoboiledpeasthanwasmyverdictthenagreeabletothem。Thiswasmyluck，myprofit，andgoodfortune。Itellthee，myjollysonDandin，thatbythisruleandmethodIcouldsettleafirmpeace，oratleastclapupacessationofarmsandtruceformanyyearstocome，betwixttheGreatKingandtheVenetianState，theEmperorandtheCantonsofSwitzerland，theEnglishandtheScots，andbetwixtthePopeandtheFerrarians。ShallIgoyetfurther？
Yea，asIwouldhaveGodtohelpme，betwixttheTurkandtheSophy，theTartarsandtheMuscoviters。RemarkwellwhatIamtosayuntothee。I
wouldtakethematthatveryinstantnickoftimewhenboththoseoftheoneandtheothersideshouldbewearyandtiredofmakingwar，whentheyhadvoidedandemptiedtheirowncashesandcoffersofalltreasureandcoin，drainedandexhaustedthepursesandbagsoftheirsubjects，soldandmortgagedtheirdomainsandproperinheritances，andtotallywasted，spent，andconsumedthemunition，furniture，provision，andvictualsthatwerenecessaryforthecontinuanceofamilitaryexpedition。ThereIamsure，byGod，orbyhisMother，that，wouldthey，wouldtheynot，inspiteofalltheirteeths，theyshouldbeforcedtohavealittlerespiteandbreathingtimetomoderatethefuryandcruelrageoftheirambitiousaims。ThisisthedoctrineinGl。37。d。c。siquando。
Odero，sipotero；sinon，invitusamabo。
Chapter3。XLII。
Howsuitsatlawarebredatfirst，andhowtheycomeafterwardstotheirperfectgrowth。
Forthiscause，quothBridlegoose，goingoninhisdiscourse，Itemporizeandapplymyselftothetimes，asyourotherworshipsusetodo，waitingpatientlyforthematurityoftheprocess，fullgrowthandperfectionthereofinallitsmembers，towit，thewritingsandthebags。Arg。inl。
simajor。c。commun。divid。etdecons。di。I。c。solemnitates，etibigl。
Asuitinlawatitsproduction，birth，andfirstbeginning，seemethtome，asuntoyourotherworships，shapeless，withoutformorfashion，incomplete，uglyandimperfect，evenasabearathisfirstcomingintotheworldhathneitherhands，skin，hair，norhead，butismerelyaninform，rude，andill-favouredpieceandlumpofflesh，andwouldremainstillso，ifhisdam，outoftheabundanceofheraffectiontoherhopefulcub，didnotwithmuchlickingputhismembersintothatfigureandshapewhichnaturehadprovidedforthoseofanarcticandursinalkind；utnot。Doct。
ff。adl。Aquil。l。3。infin。JustsodoIsee，asyourotherworshipsdo，processesandsuitsinlaw，attheirfirstbringingforth，tobenumberless，withoutshape，deformed，anddisfigured，forthatthentheyconsistonlyofoneortwowritings，orcopiesofinstruments，throughwhichdefecttheyappearuntome，astoyourotherworships，foul，loathsome，filthy，andmisshapenbeasts。Butwhenthereareheapsoftheselegiformalpaperspacked，piled，laiduptogether，impoked，insatchelled，andputupinbags，thenisitthatwithagoodreasonwemaytermthatsuit，towhich，aspieces，parcels，parts，portions，andmembersthereof，theydopertainandbelong，well-formedandfashioned，big-limbed，strong-
set，andinallandeachofitsdimensionsmostcompletelymembered。
Becauseformadatesse。rei。l。siisqui。ff。adleg。Falcid。inc。cumdilecta。derescript。Barbat。consil。12。lib。2，andbeforehim，Baldus，inc。ult。extra。deconsuet。etl。Julianusadexhib。ff。etl。quaesitum。
ff。deleg。3。Themannerissuchasissetdowningl。p。quaest。I。c。
Paulus。
Debileprincipiummeliorfortunasequetur。
Likeyourotherworships，alsothesergeants，catchpoles，pursuivants，messengers，summoners，apparitors，ushers，door-keepers，pettifoggers，attorneys，proctors，commissioners，justicesofthepeace，judgedelegates，arbitrators，overseers，sequestrators，advocates，inquisitors，jurors，searchers，examiners，notaries，tabellions，scribes，scriveners，clerks，pregnotaries，secondaries，andexpedaneanjudges，dequibustit。est。l。3。
c。，bysuckingverymuch，andthatexceedingforcibly，andlickingatthepursesofthepleadingparties，they，tothesuitsalreadybegotandengendered，form，fashion，andframehead，feet，claws，talons，beaks，bills，teeth，hands，veins，sinews，arteries，muscles，humours，andsoforth，throughallthesimilaryanddissimilarypartsofthewhole；whichparts，particles，pendicles，andappurtenancesarethelawpokesandbags，gl。decons。d。4。c。accepisti。Qualisvestiserit，taliacordagerit。
Hicnotandumest，thatinthisrespectthepleaders，litigants，andlaw-
suitorsarehappierthantheofficers，ministers，andadministratorsofjustice。Forbeatiusestdarequamaccipere。ff。commun。l。3。extra。decelebr。Miss。c。cumMarthae。et24。quaest。I。cap。Od。gl。
Affectumdantispensatcensuratonantis。
Thusbecomeththeactionorprocessbytheircareandindustrytobeofacompleteandgoodlybulk，wellshaped，framed，formed，andfashionedaccordingtothecanonicalgloss。
Accipe，sume，cape，suntverbaplacentiaPapae。
WhichspeechhathbeenmoreclearlyexplainedbyAlbertdeRos，inverboRoma。
Romamanusrodit，quasroderenonvalet，odit。
Dantescustodit，nondantesspernit，etodit。
Thereasonwhereofisthoughttobethis:
Adpraesensovacraspullissuntmeliora。
utestgl。inl。quumhi。ff。detransact。Noristhisall；fortheinconvenienceofthecontraryissetdowningloss。c。deallu。l。fin。
Quumlaborindamnoest，crescitmortalisegestas。
Inconfirmationwhereofwefindthatthetrueetymologyandexpositionofthewordprocessispurchase，viz。ofgoodstoreofmoneytothelawyers，andofmanypokes——idest，prou-sacks——tothepleaders，uponwhichsubjectwehavemostcelestialquips，gibes，andgirds。
Ligitandojuracrescunt；litigandojusacquiritur。
Itemgl。incap。illudextrem。depraesumpt。etc。deprob。l。instrum。l。
nonepistolis。l。nonnudis。
Etsinonprosuntsingula，multajuvant。
Yeabut，askedTrinquamelle，howdoyouproceed，myfriend，incriminalcauses，theculpableandguiltypartybeingtakenandseizeduponflagrantecrimine？Evenasyourotherworshipsusetodo，answeredBridlegoose。
First，Ipermittheplaintifftodepartfromthecourt，enjoininghimnottopresumetoreturnthithertillhepreallablyshouldhavetakenagoodsoundandprofoundsleep，whichistoservefortheprimeentryandintroductiontothelegalcarryingonofthebusiness。Inthenextplace，aformalreportistobemadetomeofhishavingslept。Thirdly，Iissueforthawarranttoconvenehimbeforeme。Fourthly，heistoproduceasufficientandauthenticattestationofhishavingthoroughlyandentirelyslept，conformtotheGloss。37。Quest。7。c。Siquiscum。
QuandoquebonusdormitatHomerus。
Beingthusfaradvancedintheformalityoftheprocess，Ifindthatthisconsopiatingactengenderethanotheract，whenceariseththearticulatingofamember。Thatagainproducethathirdact，fashionativeofanothermember；whichthirdbringingforthafourth，procreativeofanotheract。
Newmembersinanofewernumberareshapenandframed，onestillbreedingandbegettinganother——as，linkafterlink，thecoatofmailatlengthismade——tillthus，pieceafterpiece，bylittleandlittle，byinformationuponinformation，theprocessbecompletelywellformedandperfectinallhismembers。Finally，havingproceededthislength，Ihaverecoursetomydice，norisittobethoughtthatthisinterruption，respite，orinterpellationisbymeoccasionedwithoutverygoodreasoninducingmethereunto，andanotableexperienceofamostconvincingandirrefragableforce。
Iremember，onatime，thatinthecampatStockholmtherewasacertainGasconnamedGratianauld，nativeofthetownofSaintSever，whohavinglostallhismoneyatplay，andconsecutivelybeingveryangrythereat——asyouknow，Pecuniaestaltersanguis，utaitAnto。deBurtio，inc。
accedens。2。extrautlit。noncontest。etBald。inl。situis。c。deopt。
leg。pertot。inl。advocati。c。deadvoc。div。jud。Pecuniaestvitahominisetoptimusfide-jussorinnecessitatibus——did，athiscomingforthofthegaming-house，inthepresenceofthewholecompanythatwasthere，withaveryloudvoicespeakinhisownlanguagethesefollowingwords:
Paocapdebioushillots，quemauxdepipesboustresbire:aresquedepergudessontlesmiresbingt，etquouatrebagnelles，tapladonnerienpics，trucs，etpatacts，Seydegundebousaulx，quiboilletruquarambeiouabelsembis。Findingthatnonewouldmakehimanyanswer，hepassedfromthencetothatpartoftheleaguerwherethehuff-snuff，hondersponder，swashbucklingHighGermanswere，towhomherenewedtheseveryterms，provokingthemtofightwithhim；butallthereturnhehadfromthemtohisstoutchallengewasonly，DerGasconnerthutsichauszmiteiniedemzuschlagen，abereristgeneigterzustehlen，darum，liebefrawen，habtsorgzueuermhauszrath。FindingalsothatnoneofthatbandofTeutonicsoldiersofferedhimselftothecombat，hepassedtothatquarteroftheleaguerwheretheFrenchfreebootingadventurerswereencamped，andreiteratinguntothemwhathehadbeforerepeatedtotheDutchwarriors，challengedthemlikewisetofightwithhim，andtherewithalmadesomeprettylittleGasconadofriskinggambolstoobligethemthemorecheerfullyandgallantlytocopewithhiminthelistsofaduellizingengagement；butnoansweratallwasmadeuntohim。WhereupontheGascon，despairingofmeetingwithanyantagonists，departedfromthence，andlayinghimselfdownnotfarfromthepavilionsofthegrandChristiancavalierCrissie，fellfastasleep。Whenhehadthoroughlysleptanhourortwo，anotheradventurousandall-hazardingbladeoftheforlornhopeofthelavishinglywastinggamesters，havingalsolostallhismoneys，salliedforthwithswordinhishand，ofafirmresolutiontofightwiththeaforesaidGascon，seeinghehadlostaswellashe。
Ploraturlachrymisamissapecuniaveris，saiththeGl。depoenitent。distinct。3。c。suntplures。Tothiseffecthavingmadeinquiryandsearchforhimthroughoutthewholecamp，andinsequelthereoffoundhimasleep，hesaiduntohim，Up，ho，goodfellow，inthenameofallthedevilsofhell，riseup，riseup，getup！Ihavelostmymoneyaswellasthouhastdone；letusthereforegofightlustilytogether，grappleandscuffleittosomepurpose。Thoumayestlookandseethatmytuckisnolongerthanthyrapier。TheGascon，altogetherastonishedathisunexpectedprovocation，withoutalteringhisformerdialectspokethus:CapdeSaintArnault，quauseystoyou，quimerebeillez？Quemaudetabernetegire。HoSaintSiobe，capdeGascoigne，tapladormyjou，quandaquoesttaquainmebingutestee。Theventurousroisterinvitethhimagaintotheduel，buttheGascon，withoutcondescendingtohisdesire，saidonlythis:Hepaovretjoutesquinerieares，quesonplareposat。Vayneunpauquetepausarcomjou，peussetruqueren。Thus，inforgettinghisloss，heforgottheeagernesswhichhehadtofight。Inconclusion，afterthattheotherhadlikewisesleptalittle，they，insteadoffighting，andpossiblykillingoneanother，wentjointlytoasutler\'stent，wheretheydranktogetherveryamicably，eachuponthepawnofhissword。Thusbyalittlesleepwaspacifiedtheardentfuryoftwowarlikechampions。There，gossip，comesthegoldenwordofJohnAndr。incap。ult。desent。etre。judic。l。sexto。
Sedendo，etdormiendofitanimaprudens。
Chapter3。XLIII。
HowPantagruelexcusethBridlegooseinthematterofsentencingactionsatlawbythechanceofthedice。
WiththisBridlegooseheldhispeace。WhereuponTrinquamellebidhimwithdrawfromthecourt——whichaccordinglywasdone——andthendirectedhisdiscoursetoPantagruelafterthismanner:Itisfitting，mostillustriousprince，notonlybyreasonofthedeepobligationswhereinthispresentparliament，togetherwiththewholemarquisateofMirelingues，standboundtoyourroyalhighnessfortheinnumerablebenefitswhich，aseffectsofmeregrace，theyhavereceivedfromyourincomparablebounty，butforthatexcellentwitalso，primejudgment，andadmirablelearningwherewithAlmightyGod，thegiverofallgoodthings，hathmostrichlyqualifiedandendowedyou，wetenderandpresentuntoyouthedecisionofthisnew，strange，andparadoxicalcaseofBridlegoose；who，inyourpresence，toyourbothhearingandseeing，hathplainlyconfessedhisfinaljudginganddeterminatingofsuitsoflawbythemerechanceandfortuneofthedice。
Thereforedowebeseechyouthatyoumaybepleasedtogivesentencethereinasuntoyoushallseemmostjustandequitable。TothisPantagruelanswered:Gentlemen，itisnotunknowntoyouhowmyconditionissomewhatremotefromtheprofessionofdecidinglawcontroversies；yet，seeingyouarepleasedtodomethehonourtoputthattaskuponme，insteadofundergoingtheofficeofajudgeIwillbecomeyourhumblesupplicant。I
observe，gentlemen，inthisBridlegooseseveralthingswhichinducemetorepresentbeforeyouthatitismyopinionheshouldbepardoned。Inthefirstplace，hisoldage；secondly，hissimplicity；tobothwhichqualitiesourstatuteandcommonlaws，civilandmunicipaltogether，allowmanyexcusesforanyslipsorescapeswhich，throughtheinvincibleimperfectionofeither，havebeeninconsideratelystumbleduponbyapersonsoqualified。Thirdly，gentlemen，Imustneedsdisplaybeforeyouanothercase，whichinequityandjusticemakethmuchfortheadvantageofBridlegoose，towit，thatthisone，sole，andsinglefaultofhisoughttobequiteforgotten，abolished，andswallowedupbythatimmenseandvastoceanofjustdoomsandsentenceswhichheretoforehehathgivenandpronounced；hisdemeanours，forthesefortyyearsandupwardsthathehathbeenajudge，havingbeensoevenlybalancedinthescalesofuprightness，thatenvyitselftillnowcouldnothavebeensoimpudentastoaccuseandtwithimwithanyactworthyofacheckorreprehension；as，ifadropoftheseawerethrownintotheLoire，nonecouldperceiveorsaythatbythissingledropthewholerivershouldbesaltandbrackish。
Truly，itseemethuntome，thatinthewholeseriesofBridlegoose\'sjuridicaldecreestherehathbeenIknownotwhatofextraordinarysavouringoftheunspeakablebenignityofGod，thatallthosehisprecedingsentences，awards，andjudgments，havebeenconfirmedandapprovedofbyyourselvesinthisyourownvenerableandsovereigncourt。Foritisusual，asyouknowwell，withhimwhosewaysareinscrutable，tomanifesthisownineffablegloryinbluntingtheperspicacyoftheeyesofthewise，inweakeningthestrengthofpotentoppressors，indepressingtheprideofrichextortioners，andinerecting，comforting，protecting，supporting，upholding，andshoringupthepoor，feeble，humble，silly，andfoolishonesoftheearth。But，waivingallthesematters，Ishallonlybeseechyou，notbytheobligationswhichyoupretendtoowetomyfamily，forwhichI
thankyou，butforthatconstantandunfeignedloveandaffectionwhichyouhavealwaysfoundinme，bothonthisandontheothersideofLoire，forthemaintenanceandestablishmentofyourplaces，offices，anddignities，thatforthisonetimeyouwouldpardonandforgivehimuponthesetwoconditions。First，thathesatisfy，orputasufficientsuretyforthesatisfactionofthepartywrongedbytheinjusticeofthesentenceinquestion。ForthefulfilmentofthisarticleIwillprovidesufficiently。
And，secondly，thatforhissubsidiaryaidintheweightychargeofadministratingjusticeyouwouldbepleasedtoappointandassignuntohimsomeprettylittlevirtuouscounsellor，younger，learneder，andwiserthanhe，bythesquareandruleofwhoseadvicehemayregulate，guide，temper，andmoderateintimescomingallhisjudiciaryprocedures；orotherwise，ifyouintendtotallytodeposehimfromhisoffice，andtodeprivehimaltogetherofthestateanddignityofajudge，Ishallcordiallyentreatyoutomakeapresentandfreegiftofhimtome，whoshallfindinmykingdomschargesandemploymentsenoughwherewithtoembusyhim，forthebetteringofhisownfortunesandfurtheranceofmyservice。Inthemeantime，IimploretheCreator，Saviour，andSanctifierofallgoodthings，inhisgrace，mercy，andkindness，topreserveyouallnowandevermore，worldwithoutend。
Thesewordsthusspoken，Pantagruel，vailinghiscapandmakingalegwithsuchamajesticgarbasbecameapersonofhisparamountdegreeandeminency，farewelledTrinquamelle，thepresidentandmaster-speakerofthatMirelinguesianparliament，tookhisleaveofthewholecourt，andwentoutofthechamber；atthedoorwhereoffindingPanurge，Epistemon，FriarJohn，andothers，heforthwith，attendedbythem，walkedtotheoutergate，whereallofthemimmediatelytookhorsetoreturntowardsGargantua。PantagruelbythewayrelatedtothemfrompointtopointthemannerofBridlegoose\'ssententiatingdifferencesatlaw。FriarJohnsaidthathehadseenPeterDandin，andwasacquaintedwithhimatthattimewhenhesojournedinthemonasteryofFontaineleComte，underthenobleAbbotArdillon。GymnastlikewiseaffirmedthathewasinthetentofthegrandChristiancavalierDeCrissie，whentheGascon，afterhissleep，madeanswertotheadventurer。PanurgewassomewhatincredulousinthematterofbelievingthatitwasmorallypossibleBridlegooseshouldhavebeenforsuchalongspaceoftimesocontinuallyfortunateinthataleatorywayofdecidinglawdebates。EpistemonsaidtoPantagruel，Suchanotherstory，notmuchunliketothatinallthecircumstancesthereof，isvulgarlyreportedoftheprovostofMontlehery。Ingoodsooth，suchaperpetuityofgoodluckistobewonderedat。Tohavehitrighttwiceorthriceinajudgmentsogivenbyhaphazardmighthavefallenoutwellenough，especiallyincontroversiesthatwereambiguous，intricate，abstruse，perplexed，andobscure。
Chapter3。XLIV。
HowPantagruelrelatethastrangehistoryoftheperplexityofhumanjudgment。
Seeingyoutalk，quothPantagruel，ofdark，difficult，hard，andknottydebates，IwilltellyouofonecontrovertedbeforeCneiusDolabella，proconsulinAsia。Thecasewasthis。
AwifeinSmyrnahadofherfirsthusbandachildnamedAbece。Hedying，she，aftertheexpiringofayearandday，marriedagain，andtohersecondhusbandboreaboycalledEffege。Aprettylongtimethereafterithappened，asyouknowtheaffectionofstepfathersandstepdamsisveryraretowardsthechildrenofthefirstfathersandmothersdeceased，thatthishusband，withthehelpofhissonEffege，secretly，wittingly，willingly，andtreacherouslymurderedAbece。Thewomancamenosoonertogetinformationofthefact，but，thatitmightnotgounpunished，shecausedkillthemboth，torevengethedeathofherfirstson。ShewasapprehendedandcarriedbeforeCneiusDolabella，inwhosepresenceshe，withoutdissemblinganything，confessedallthatwaslaidtohercharge；
yetallegedthatshehadbothrightandreasononhersideforthekillingofthem。Thuswasthestateofthequestion。Hefoundthebusinesssodubiousandintricate，thatheknewnotwhattodeterminetherein，norwhichofthepartiestoinclineto。Ontheotherhand，itwasanexecrablecrimetocutoffatoncebothhersecondhusbandandherson。Ontheotherhand，thecauseofthemurderseemedtobesonatural，astobegroundeduponthelawofnationsandtherationalinstinctofallthepeopleoftheworld，seeingtheytwotogetherhadfeloniouslyandmurderouslydestroyedherfirstson；notthattheyhadbeeninanymannerofwaywronged，outraged，orinjuredbyhim，butoutofanavariciousintenttopossesshisinheritance。Inthisdoubtfulquandaryanduncertaintywhattopitchupon，hesenttotheAreopagitesthensittingatAthenstolearnandobtaintheiradviceandjudgment。Thatjudicioussenate，verysagelyperpendingthereasonsofhisperplexity，senthimwordtosummonherpersonallytocompearbeforehimaprecisehundredyearsthereafter，toanswertosomeinterrogatoriestouchingcertainpointswhichwerenotcontainedintheverbaldefence。Whichresolutionoftheirsdidimportthatitwasintheiropinionasodifficultandinextricablematterthattheyknewnotwhattosayorjudgetherein。Whohaddecidedthatpleabythechanceandfortuneofthedice，couldnothaveerrednorawardedamissonwhichsidesoeverhehadpassedhiscastingandcondemnatorysentence。Ifagainstthewoman，shedeservedpunishmentforusurpingsovereignauthoritybytakingthatvengeanceatherownhand，theinflictingwhereofwasonlycompetenttothesupremepowertoadministerjusticeincriminalcases。Ifforher，thejustresentmentofasoatrociousinjurydoneuntoher，inmurderingherinnocentson，didfullyexcuseandvindicateherofanytrespassoroffenceaboutthatparticularcommittedbyher。ButthiscontinuationofBridlegooseforsomanyyearsstillhittingthenailonthehead，nevermissingthemark，andalwaysjudgingaright，bythemerethrowingofthediceandchancethereof，isthatwhichmostastonishethandamazethme。
Toanswer，quothPantagruelEpistemon，saystheEnglisheditionof1694，followingthereadingofthemodernFrencheditions。LeDuchathaspointedoutthemistake——M。，categoricallytothatwhichyouwonderat，ImustingeniouslyconfessandavowthatIcannot；yet，conjecturallytoguessatthereasonofit，Iwouldreferthecauseofthatmarvellouslylong-
continuedhappysuccessinthejudiciaryresultsofhisdefinitivesentencestothefavourableaspectoftheheavensandbenignityoftheintelligences；who，outoftheirlovetogoodness，afterhavingcontemplatedthepuresimplicityandsincereunfeignednessofJudgeBridlegooseintheacknowledgmentofhisinabilities，didregulatethatforhimbychancewhichbytheprofoundestactofhismaturestdeliberationhewasnotabletoreachunto。That，likewise，whichpossiblymadehimtodiffideinhisownskillandcapacity，notwithstandinghisbeinganexpertandunderstandinglawyer，foranythingthatIknowtothecontrary，wastheknowledgeandexperiencewhichhehadoftheantinomies，contrarieties，antilogies，contradictions，traversings，andthwartingsoflaws，customs，edicts，statutes，orders，andordinances，inwhichdangerousopposition，equityandjusticebeingstructuredandfoundedoneitheroftheoppositeterms，andagapbeingtherebyopenedfortheusheringinofinjusticeandiniquitythroughthevariousinterpretationsofself-endedlawyers，beingassuredlypersuadedthattheinfernalcalumniator，whofrequentlytransformethhimselfintothelikenessofamessengerorangeloflight，makethuseofthesecrossglossesandexpositionsinthemouthsandpensofhisministersandservants，theperverseadvocates，bribingjudges，law-
mongingattorneys，prevaricatingcounsellors，andothersuch-likelaw-
wrestingmembersofacourtofjustice，toturnbythosemeansblacktowhite，greentogrey，andwhatisstraighttoacrookedply。Forthemoreexpedientdoingwhereof，thesediabolicalministersmakeboththepleadingpartiesbelievethattheircauseisjustandrighteous；foritiswellknownthatthereisnocause，howbadsoever，whichdothnotfindanadvocatetopatrocinateanddefendit，——elsewouldtherebenoprocessintheworld，nosuitsatlaw，norpleadingsatthebar。Hedidintheseextremities，asIconceive，mosthumblyrecommendthedirectionofhisjudicialproceedingstotheuprightjudgeofjudges，GodAlmighty；didsubmithimselftotheconductandguideshipoftheblessedSpiritinthehazardandperplexityofthedefinitivesentence，and，bythisaleatorylot，didasitwereimploreandexplorethedivinedecreeofhisgoodwillandpleasure，insteadofthatwhichwecallthefinaljudgmentofacourt。
Tothiseffect，tothebetterattainingtohispurpose，whichwastojudgerighteously，hedid，inmyopinion，throwandturnthedice，totheendthatbytheprovidenceaforesaidthebestchancemightfalltohimwhoseactionwasuprightest，andbackedwithgreatestreason。IndoingwhereofhedidnotstrayfromthesenseofTalmudists，whosaythatthereissolittleharminthatmannerofsearchingthetruth，thatintheanxietyandperplexednessofhumanwitsGodoftentimesmanifesteththesecretpleasureofhisdivinewill。
Furthermore，Iwillneitherthinknorsay，norcanIbelieve，thattheunstraightnessissoirregular，orthecorruptionsoevident，ofthoseoftheparliamentofMirelingoisinMirelingues，beforewhomBridlegoosewasarraignedforprevarication，thattheywillmaintainittobeaworsepracticetohavethedecisionofasuitatlawreferredtothechanceandhazardofathrowofthedice，habnab，orluckasitwill，thantohaveitremittedtoandpassedbythedeterminationofthosewhosehandsarefullofbloodandheartsofwryaffections。Besidesthat，theirprincipaldirectioninalllawmatterscomestotheirhandsfromoneTribonian，awicked，miscreant，barbarous，faithlessandperfidiousknave，sopernicious，unjust，avaricious，andperverseinhisways，thatitwashisordinarycustomtoselllaws，edicts，declarations，constitutions，andordinances，asatanoutrooporputsale，tohimwhoofferedmostforthem。
Thusdidheshapemeasuresforthepleaders，andcuttheirmorselstothembyandoutoftheselittleparcels，fragments，bits，scantlings，andshredsofthelawnowinuse，altogetherconcealing，suppressing，disannulling，andabolishingtheremainder，whichdidmakeforthetotallaw；fearingthat，ifthewholelawweremademanifestandlaidopentotheknowledgeofsuchasareinterestedinit，andthelearnedbooksoftheancientdoctorsofthelawupontheexpositionoftheTwelveTablesandPraetorianEdicts，hisvillainouspranks，naughtiness，andvileimpietyshouldcometothepublicnoticeoftheworld。Thereforewereitbetter，inmyconceit，thatistosay，lessinconvenient，thatpartiesatvarianceinanyjuridicalcaseshouldinthedarkmarchuponcaltropsthansubmitthedeterminationofwhatistheirrighttosuchunhallowedsentencesandhorribledecrees；
asCatoinhistimewishedandadvisedthateveryjudiciarycourtshouldbepavedwithcaltrops。