Headvancedastep，andfixedhisangryeyesonhersearchingly。
\"DoyouknowwhyLadyJanetsentforme？\"heasked。
\"No。\"
\"ThenIwilltellyou。LadyJanetisastanchfriendofyours，thereisnodenyingthat。Shewishedtoinformmethatshehadalteredhermindaboutyourpromisedexplanationofyourconduct。Shesaid，\'Reflectionhasconvincedmethatnoexplanationisrequired；Ihavelaidmypositivecommandsonmyadopteddaughterthatnoexplanationshalltakeplace。\'Hasshedonethat？\"
\"Yes。\"
\"Nowobserve！Iwaitedtillshehadfinished，andthenIsaid，\'WhathaveItodowiththis？\'LadyJanethasonemerit——shespeaksout。\'YouaretodoasIdo，\'sheanswered。\'Youaretoconsiderthatnoexplanationisrequired，andyouaretoconsignthewholemattertooblivionfromthistimeforth。\'\'Areyouserious？\'Iasked。\'Quiteserious。\'\'InthatcaseIhavetoinformyourladyshipthatyouinsistonmorethanyoumaysuppose：youinsistonmybreakingmyengagementtoMissRoseberry。EitherIamtohavetheexplanationthatshehaspromisedme，orIrefusetomarryher。\'HowdoyouthinkLadyJanettookthat？Sheshutupherlips，andshespreadoutherhands，andshelookedatmeasmuchastosay，\'Justasyouplease！Refuseifyoulike；it\'snothingtome！\'\"
Hepausedforamoment。Mercyremainedsilent，onherside：sheforesawwhatwascoming。MistakeninsupposingthatHoracehadleftthehouse，Julianhad，beyondalldoubt，beenequallyinerrorinconcludingthathehadbeenentrappedintobreakingofftheengagementupstairs。
\"Doyouunderstandmesofar？\"Horaceasked。
\"Iunderstandyouperfectly。\"
\"Iwillnottroubleyoumuchlonger，\"heresumed。\"IsaidtoLadyJanet，\'Besogoodastoanswermeinplainwords。DoyoustillinsistonclosingMissRoseberry\'slips？\'\'Istillinsist，\'sheanswered。\'Noexplanationisrequired。Ifyouarebaseenoughtosuspectyourbetrothedwife，Iamjustenoughtobelieveinmyadopteddaughter。\'Ireplied——andIbegyouwillgiveyourbestattentiontowhatIamnowgoingtosay——Irepliedtothat，\'Itisnotfairtochargemewithsuspectingher。Idon\'tunderstandherconfidentialrelationswithJulianGray，andIdon\'tunderstandherlanguageandconductinthepresenceofthepoliceofficer。Iclaimitasmyrighttobesatisfiedonboththosepoints——inthecharacterofthemanwhoistomarryher。\'Therewasmyanswer。Ispareyouallthatfollowed。IonlyrepeatwhatIsaidtoLadyJanet。Shehascommandedyoutobesilent。Ifyouobeyhercommands，IoweittomyselfandIoweittomyfamilytoreleaseyoufromyourengagement。ChoosebetweenyourdutytoLadyJanetandyourdutytoMe。\"
Hehadmasteredhistemperatlast：hespokewithdignity，andhespoketothepoint。Hispositionwasunassailable；heclaimednothingbuthisright。
\"Mychoicewasmade，\"Mercyanswered，\"whenIgaveyoumypromiseupstairs。\"
Shewaitedalittle，strugglingtocontrolherselfonthebrinkoftheterriblerevelationthatwascoming。Hereyesdroppedbeforehis；herheartbeatfasterandfaster；butshestruggledbravely。Withadesperatecourageshefacedtheposition。\"Ifyouarereadytolisten，\"shewenton，\"IamreadytotellyouwhyIinsistedonhavingthepoliceofficersentoutofthehouse。\"
Horacehelduphishandwarningly。
\"Stop！\"hesaid；\"thatisnotall。\"
HisinfatuatedjealousyofJulianfatallymisinterpretingheragitationdistrustedherattheveryoutset。Shehadlimitedherselftoclearinguptheonequestionofherinterferencewiththeofficerofjustice。TheotherquestionofherrelationswithJulianshehaddeliberatelypassedover。Horaceinstantlydrewhisownungenerousconclusion。
\"Letusnotmisunderstandoneanother，\"hesaid。\"Theexplanationofyourconductintheotherroomisonlyoneoftheexplanationswhichyouoweme。Youhavesomethingelsetoaccountfor。Letusbeginwiththat，ifyouplease。\"
Shelookedathiminunaffectedsurprise。
\"WhatelsehaveItoaccountfor？\"sheasked。
HeagainrepeatedhisreplytoLadyJanet。
\"Ihavetoldyoualready，\"hesaid。\"Idon\'tunderstandyourconfidentialrelationswithJulianGray。\"
Mercy\'scolorrose；Mercy\'seyesbegantobrighten。
\"Don\'treturntothat！\"shecried，withanirrepressibleoutbreakofdisgust。\"Don\'t，forGod\'ssake，makemedespiseyouatsuchamomentasthis！\"
Hisobstinacyonlygatheredfreshencouragementfromthatappealtohisbettersense。
\"Iinsistonreturningtoit。\"
Shehadresolvedtobearanythingfromhim——asherfitpunishmentforthedeceptionofwhichshehadbeenguilty。ButitwasnotinwomanhoodatthemomentwhenthefirstwordsofherconfessionweretremblingonherlipstoendureHorace\'sunworthysuspicionofher。Sherosefromherseatandmethiseyefirmly。
\"Irefusetodegrademyself，andtodegradeMr。JulianGray，byansweringyou，\"shesaidConsiderwhatyouaredoing，\"herejoined。Changeyourmind，beforeitistoolate！\"
\"Youhavehadmyreply。\"
Thoseresolutewords，thatsteadyresistance，seemedtoinfuriatehim。Hecaughtherroughlybythearm。
\"Youareasfalseashell！\"hecried。\"It\'salloverbetweenyouandme！\"
Theloudthreateningtoneinwhichhehadspokenpenetratedthroughthecloseddoorofthedining-room。Thedoorinstantlyopened。Julianreturnedtothelibrary。
Hehadjustsetfootintheroom，whentherewasaknockattheotherdoor——thedoorthatopenedonthehall。Oneofthemen-servantsappeared，withatelegraphicmessageinhishand。Mercywasthefirsttoseeit。ItwastheMatron\'sanswertotheletterwhichshehadsenttotheRefuge。
\"ForMr。JulianGray？\"sheasked。
\"Yes，miss。\"
\"Giveittome。\"
Shesignedtothemantowithdraw，andherselfgavethetelegramtoJulian。\"Itisaddressedtoyou，atmyrequest，\"shesaid。\"Youwillrecognizethenameofthepersonwhosendsit，andyouwillfindamessageinitforme。\"
HoraceinterferedbeforeJuliancouldopenthetelegram。
\"Anotherprivateunderstandingbetweenyou！\"hesaid。\"Givemethattelegram。\"
Julianlookedathimwithquietcontempt。
\"ItisdirectedtoMe，\"heanswered——andopenedtheenvelope。
Themessageinsidewasexpressedintheseterms：\"Iamasdeeplyinterestedinherasyouare。SaythatIhavereceivedherletter，andthatIwelcomeherbacktotheRefugewithallmyheart。Ihavebusinessthiseveningintheneighborhood。IwillcallforhermyselfatMablethorpeHouse。\"
Themessageexplaineditself。Ofherownfree-willshehadmadetheexpiationcomplete！Ofherownfree-willshewasgoingbacktothemartyrdomofheroldlife！BoundasheknewhimselftobetoletnocompromisingwordoractionescapehiminthepresenceofHorace，theirrepressibleexpressionofJulian\'sadmirationglowedinhiseyesastheyrestedonMercy。Horacedetectedthelook。HesprangforwardandtriedtosnatchthetelegramoutofJulian\'shand。
\"Giveittome！\"hesaid。\"Iwillhaveit！\"
Juliansilentlyputhimbackatarms-length。
Maddenedwithrage，heliftedhishandthreateningly。\"Giveittome！\"herepeatedbetweenhissetteeth，\"oritwillbetheworseforyou！\"
\"Giveittome！\"saidMercy，suddenlyplacingherselfbetweenthem。
Juliangaveit。Sheturned，andofferedittoHorace，lookingathimwithasteadyeye，holdingitouttohimwithasteadyhand。
\"Readit，\"shesaid。
Julian\'sgenerousnaturepitiedthemanwhohadinsultedhim。Julian\'sgreatheartonlyrememberedthefriendofformertimes。
\"Sparehim！\"hesaidtoMercy。\"Rememberheisunprepared。\"
Sheneitheranswerednormoved。Nothingstirredthehorribletorporofherresignationtoherfate。Sheknewthatthetimehadcome。
JulianappealedtoHorace。
\"Don\'treadit！\"hecried。\"Hearwhatshehastosaytoyoufirst！\"
Horace\'shandansweredhimwithacontemptuousgesture。Horace\'seyesdevoured，wordbyword，theMatron\'smessage。
Helookedupwhenhehadreaditthrough。TherewasaghastlychangeinhisfaceasheturneditonMercy。
Shestoodbetweenthetwomenlikeastatue。Thelifeinherseemedtohavediedout，exceptinhereyes。HereyesrestedonHoracewithasteady，glitteringcalmness。
ThesilencewasonlybrokenbythelowmurmuringofJulian\'svoice。Hisfacewashiddeninhishands——hewasprayingforthem。
Horacespoke，layinghisfingeronthetelegram。Hisvoicehadchangedwiththechangeinhisface。Thetonewaslowandtrembling：noonewouldhaverecognizeditasthetoneofHorace\'svoice。
\"Whatdoesthismean？\"hesaidtoMercy。\"Itcan\'tbeforyou？\"
\"Itisforme。\"
\"WhathaveYoutodowithaRefuge？\"
Withoutachangeinherface，withoutamovementinherlimbs，shespokethefatalwords：
\"IhavecomefromaRefuge，andIamgoingbacktoaRefuge。Mr。HoraceHolmcroft，IamMercyMerrick。\"
[NextChapter]
[TableofContents]TheNewMagdalen，Chapter26CHAPTERXXVI。
GREATHEARTANDLITTLEHEART。
THEREwasapause。
Themomentspassed——andnotoneofthethreemoved。Themomentspassed——andnotoneofthethreespoke。InsensiblythewordsofsupplicationdiedawayonJulian\'slips。Evenhisenergyfailedtosustainhim，triedasitnowwasbythecrushingoppressionofsuspense。Thefirsttriflingmovementwhichsuggestedtheideaofchange，andwhichsobroughtwithitthefirstvaguesenseofrelief，camefromMercy。Incapableofsustainingtheprolongedeffortofstanding，shedrewbackalittleandtookachair。Nooutwardmanifestationofemotionescapedher。Thereshesat——withthedeath-liketorporofresignationinherface——waitinghersentenceinsilencefromthemanatwhomshehadhurledthewholeterribleconfessionofthetruthinonesentence！
Julianliftedhisheadasshemoved。HelookedatHorace，andadvancingafewsteps，lookedagain。Therewasfearinhisface，ashesuddenlyturnedittowardMercy。
\"Speaktohim！\"hesaid，inawhisper。\"Rousehim，beforeit\'stoolate！\"
Shemovedmechanicallyinherchair；shelookedmechanicallyatJulian。
\"WhatmorehaveItosaytohim？\"sheasked，infaint，wearytones。\"DidInottellhimeverythingwhenItoldhimmyname？\"
ThenaturalsoundofhervoicemighthavefailedtoaffectHorace。Thealteredsoundofitrousedhim。HeapproachedMercy\'schair，withadullsurpriseinhisface，andputhishand，inaweak，waveringway，onhershoulder。Inthatpositionhestoodforawhile，lookingdownatherinsilence。
TheoneideainhimthatfounditswayoutwardtoexpressionwastheideaofJulian。Withoutmovinghishand，withoutlookingupfromMercy，hespokeforthefirsttimesincetheshockhadfallenonhim。
\"WhereisJulian？\"heasked，veryquietly。
\"Iamhere，Horace——closebyyou。\"
\"Willyoudomeaservice？\"
\"Certainly。HowcanIhelpyou？\"
Heconsideredalittlebeforehereplied。HishandleftMercy\'sshoulder，andwentuptohishead——thendroppedathisside。Hisnextwordswerespokeninasadlyhelpless，bewilderedway。
\"Ihaveanidea，Julian，thatIhavebeensomehowtoblame。Isaidsomehardwordstoyou。Itwasalittlewhilesince。Idon\'tclearlyrememberwhatitwasallabout。Mytemperhasbeenagooddealtriedinthishouse；Ihaveneverbeenusedtothesortofthingthatgoesonhere——secretsandmysteries，andhatefullow-livedquarrels。Wehavenosecretsandmysteriesathome。Andasforquarrels——ridiculous！Mymotherandmysistersarehighlybredwomenyouknowthem；gentlewomen，inthebestsenseoftheword。WhenIamwiththemIhavenoanxieties。Iamnotharassedathomebydoubtsofwhopeopleare，andconfusionaboutnames，andsoon。Isuspectthecontrastweighsalittleonmymindandupsetsit。Theymakemeover-suspiciousamongthemhere，anditendsinmyfeelingdoubtsandfearsthatIcan\'tgetover：doubtsaboutyouandfearsaboutmyself。Ihavegotafearaboutmyselfnow。Iwantyoutohelpme。ShallImakeanapologyfirst？\"
\"Don\'tsayaword。TellmewhatIcando。\"
HeturnedhisfacetowardJulianforthefirsttime。
\"Justlookatme，\"hesaid。\"DoesitstrikeyouthatIamatallwronginmymind？Tellmethetruth，oldfellow。\"
\"Yournervesarealittleshaken，Horace。Nothingmore。\"
Heconsideredagainafterthatreply，hiseyesremaininganxiouslyfixedonJulian\'sface。
\"Mynervesarealittleshaken，\"herepeated。\"Thatistrue；Ifeeltheyareshaken。Ishouldlike，ifyoudon\'tmind，tomakesurethatit\'snoworse。Willyouhelpmetotryifmymemoryisallright？\"
\"Iwilldoanythingyoulike。\"
\"Ah！youareagoodfellow，Julian——andaclear-headedfellowtoo，whichisveryimportantjustnow。Lookhere！Isayit\'saboutaweeksincethetroublesbeganinthishouse。Doyousaysotoo？\"
\"Yes。\"
\"ThetroublescameinwiththecomingofawomanfromGermany，astrangertous，whobehavedveryviolentlyinthedining-roomthere。AmIright，sofar？\"
\"Quiteright。\"
\"Thewomancarriedmatterswithahighhand。SheclaimedColonelRoseberry——Iwishtobestrictlyaccurate——sheclaimedthelateColonelRoseberryasherfather。Shetoldatiresomestoryaboutherhavingbeenrobbedofherpapersandhernamebyanimpostorwhohadpersonatedher。ShesaidthenameoftheimpostorwasMercyMerrick。Andsheafterwardputtheclimaxtoitall：shepointedtotheladywhoisengagedtobemywife，anddeclaredthatshewasMercyMerrick。Tellmeagain，isthatrightorwrong？\"
Julianansweredhimasbefore。Hewenton，speakingmoreconfidentlyandmoreexcitedlythanhehadspokenyet。
\"Nowattendtothis，Julian。Iamgoingtopassfrommymemoryofwhathappenedaweekagotomymemoryofwhathappenedfiveminutessince。Youwerepresent；Iwanttoknowifyouheardittoo。\"Hepaused，and，withouttakinghiseyesoffJulian，pointedbackwardtoMercy。\"Thereistheladywhoisengagedtomarryme，\"heresumed。\"DidI，ordidInot，hearhersaythatshehadcomeoutofaRefuge，andthatshewasgoingbacktoaRefuge？DidI，ordidInot，hearherowntomyfacethathernamewasMercyMerrick？Answerme，Julian。Mygoodfriend，answerme，forthesakeofoldtimes。\"
Hisvoicefalteredashespokethoseimploringwords。Underthedullblankofhisfacethereappearedthefirstsignsofemotionslowlyforcingitswayoutward。Thestunnedmindwasrevivingfaintly。Juliansawhisopportunityofaidingtherecovery，andseizedit。HetookHoracegentlybythearm，andpointedtoMercy。
\"Thereisyouranswer！\"hesaid。\"Look！——andpityher。\"
Shehadnotonceinterruptedthemwhiletheyhadbeenspeaking：shehadchangedherpositionagain，andthatwasall。Therewasawriting-tableatthesideofherchair；heroutstretchedarmsrestedonit。Herheadhaddroppedonherarms，andherfacewashidden。Julian\'sjudgmenthadnotmisledhim；theutterself-abandonmentofherattitudeansweredHoraceasnohumanlanguagecouldhaveansweredhim。Helookedather。Aquickspasmofpainpassedacrosshisface。Heturnedoncemoretothefaithfulfriendwhohadforgivenhim。HisheadfellonJulian\'sshoulder，andheburstintotears。
Mercystartedwildlytoherfeet，andlookedatthetwomen。
\"OGod\"shecried，\"whathaveIdone！\"
Julianquietedherbyamotionofhishand。
\"Youhavehelpedmetosavehim，\"hesaid。\"Lethistearshavetheirway。Wait。\"
HeputonearmroundHoracetosupporthim。Themanlytendernessoftheaction，thecompleteandnoblepardonofpastinjurieswhichitimplied，touchedMercytotheheart。Shewentbacktoherchair。Againshameandsorrowoverpoweredher，andagainshehidherfacefromview。
JulianledHoracetoaseat，andsilentlywaitedbyhimuntilhehadrecoveredhisself-control。Hegratefullytookthekindhandthathadsustainedhim：hesaid，simply，almostboyishly，\"Thankyou，Julian。Iambetternow。\"
\"Areyoucomposedenoughtolistentowhatissaidtoyou？\"Julianasked。
\"Yes。Doyouwishtospeaktome？\"
Julianlefthimwithoutimmediatelyreplying，andreturnedtoMercy。
\"Thetimehascome，\"hesaid。\"Tellhimall——truly，unreservedly，asyouwouldtellittome。\"
Sheshudderedashespoke。\"HaveInottoldhimenough？\"sheasked。\"Doyouwantmetobreakhisheart？Lookathim！LookwhatIhavedonealready！\"
HoraceshrankfromtheordealasMercyshrankfromit。
\"No，no！Ican\'tlistentoit！Idaren\'tlistentoit！\"hecried，androsetoleavetheroom。
Julianhadtakenthegoodworkinhand：heneverfalteredoveritforaninstant。Horacehadlovedher——howdearlyJuliannowknewforthefirsttime。Thebarepossibilitythatshemightearnherpardonifshewasallowedtopleadherowncausewasapossibilitystillleft。ToletherwinonHoracetoforgiveher，wasdeathtothelovethatstillfilledhisheartinsecret。Butheneverhesitated。Witharesolutionwhichtheweakermanwaspowerlesstoresist，hetookhimbythearmandledhimbacktohisplace。
\"Forhersake，andforyoursake，youshallnotcondemnherunheard，\"hesaidtoHorace，firmly。\"Onetemptationtodeceiveyouafteranotherhastriedher，andshehasresistedthemall。Withnodiscoverytofear，withaletterfromthebenefactresswholoveshercommandinghertobesilent，witheverythingthatawomanvaluesinthisworldtolose，ifsheownswhatshehasdone——thiswoman，forthetruth\'ssake，hasspokenthetruth。Doesshedeservenothingatyourhandsinreturnforthat？Respecther，Horace——andhearher。\"
Horaceyielded。JulianturnedtoMercy。
\"Youhaveallowedmetoguideyousofar，\"hesaid。\"Willyouallowmetoguideyoustill？\"
Hereyessankbeforehis；herbosomroseandfellrapidly。Hisinfluenceoverhermaintaineditssway。Shebowedherheadinspeechlesssubmission。
\"Tellhim，\"Julianproceeded，inaccentsofentreaty，notofcommand——\"tellhimwhatyourlifehasbeen。Tellhimhowyouweretriedandtempted，withnofriendneartospeakthewordswhichmighthavesavedyou。Andthen，\"headded，raisingherfromthechair，\"lethimjudgeyou——ifhecan！\"
HeattemptedtoleadheracrosstheroomtotheplacewhichHoraceoccupied。Buthersubmissionhaditslimits。Half-waytotheplaceshestopped，andrefusedtogofurther。Julianofferedherachair。Shedeclinedtotakeit。Standingwithonehandonthebackofthechair，shewaitedforthewordfromHoracewhichwouldpermithertospeak。Shewasresignedtotheordeal。Herfacewascalm；hermindwasclear。Thehardestofallhumiliationstoendure——thehumiliationofacknowledginghername——shehadpassedthrough。NothingremainedbuttoshowhergratitudetoJulianbyaccedingtohiswishes，andtoaskpardonofHoracebeforetheypartedforever。InalittlewhiletheMatronwouldarriveatthehouse——andthenitwouldbeover。
UnwillinglyHoracelookedather。Theireyesmet。Hebrokeoutsuddenlywithsomethingofhisformerviolence。
\"Ican\'trealizeitevennow！\"hecried。\"IsittruethatyouarenotGraceRoseberry？Don\'tlookatme！Sayinoneword——YesorNo！\"
Sheansweredhim，humblyandsadly，\"Yes。\"
\"Youhavedonewhatthatwomanaccusedyouofdoing？AmItobelievethat？\"
\"Youaretobelieveit，sir。\"
AlltheweaknessofHorace\'scharacterdiscloseditselfwhenshemadethatreply。
\"Infamous！\"heexclaimed。\"Whatexcusecanyoumakeforthecrueldeceptionyouhavepracticedonme？Toobad！toobad！Therecanbenoexcuseforyou！\"
Sheacceptedhisreproacheswithunshakenresignation。\"Ihavedeservedit！\"wasallshesaidtoherself，\"Ihavedeservedit！\"
JulianinterposedoncemoreinMercy\'sdefense。
\"Waittillyouaresurethereisnoexcuseforher，Horace，\"hesaid，quietly。\"Grantherjustice，ifyoucangrantnomore。Ileaveyoutogether。\"
Headvancedtowardthedoorofthedining-room。Horace\'sweaknessdiscloseditselfoncemore。
\"Don\'tleavemealonewithher！\"heburstout。\"ThemiseryofitismorethanIcanbear！\"
JulianlookedatMercy。Herfacebrightenedfaintly。Thatmomentaryexpressionofrelieftoldhimhowtrulyhewouldbebefriendingherifheconsentedtoremainintheroom。Apositionofretirementwasofferedtohimbyarecessformedbythecentralbay-windowofthelibrary。Ifheoccupiedthisplace，theycouldseeornotseethathewaspresent，astheirowninclinationsmightdecidethem。
\"Iwillstaywithyou，Horace，aslongasyouwishmetobehere。\"Havingansweredinthoseterms，hestoppedashepassedMercy，onhiswaytothewindow。Hisquickandkindlyinsighttoldhimthathemightstillbeofsomeservicetoher。Ahintfromhimmightshowhertheshortestandtheeasiestwayofmakingherconfession。Delicatelyandbrieflyhegaveherthehint。\"ThefirsttimeImetyou，\"hesaid，\"Isawthatyourlifehadhaditstroubles。Letushearhowthosetroublesbegan。\"
Hewithdrewtohisplaceintherecess。Forthefirsttime，sincethefataleveningwhensheandGraceRoseberryhadmetintheFrenchcottage，MercyMerricklookedbackintothepurgatoryonearthofherpastlife，andtoldhersadstorysimplyandtrulyinthesewords。
[NextChapter]
[TableofContents]TheNewMagdalen，Chapter27CHAPTERXXVII。
MAGDALEN\'SAPPRENTICESHIP。
\"MR。JULIANGRAYhasaskedmetotellhim，andtotellyou，Mr。Holmcroft，howmytroublesbegan。Theybeganbeforemyrecollection。Theybeganwithmybirth。
\"MymotherasIhaveheardhersayruinedherprospects，whenshewasquiteayounggirl，byamarriagewithoneofherfather\'sservants——thegroomwhorodeoutwithher。Shesuffered，poorcreature，theusualpenaltyofsuchconductashers。Afterashorttimesheandherhusbandwereseparated——ontheconditionofhersacrificingtothemanwhomshehadmarriedthewholeofthelittlefortunethatshepossessedinherright。
\"Gainingherfreedom，mymotherhadtogainherdailybreadnext。Herfamilyrefusedtotakeherback。Sheattachedherselftoacompanyofstrollingplayers。
\"Shewasearningabarelivinginthisway，whenmyfatheraccidentallymetwithher。Hewasamanofhighrank，proudofhisposition，andwellknowninthesocietyofthattimeforhismanyaccomplishmentsandhisrefinedtastes。Mymother\'sbeautyfascinatedhim。Hetookherfromthestrollingplayers，andsurroundedherwitheveryluxurythatawomancoulddesireinahouseofherown。
\"Idon\'tknowhowlongtheylivedtogether。Ionlyknowthatmyfather，atthetimeofmyfirstrecollections，hadabandonedher。Shehadexcitedhissuspicionsofherfidelity——suspicionswhichcruellywrongedher，asshedeclaredtoherdyingday。Ibelievedher，becauseshewasmymother。ButIcannotexpectotherstodoasIdid——Icanonlyrepeatwhatshesaid。Myfatherleftherabsolutelypenniless。Heneversawheragain；andherefusedtogotoherwhenshesenttohiminherlastmomentsonearth。
\"ShewasbackagainamongthestrollingplayerswhenIfirstrememberher。Itwasnotanunhappytimeforme。Iwasthefavoritepetandplaythingofthepooractors。Theytaughtmetosingandtodanceatanagewhenotherchildrenarejustbeginningtolearntoread。AtfiveyearsoldIwasinwhatiscalled\'theprofession，\'andhadmademypoorlittlereputationinboothsatcountryfairs。Asearlyasthat，Mr。Holmcroft，Ihadbeguntoliveunderanassumedname——theprettiestnametheycouldinventforme\'tolookwellinthebills。\'Itwassometimesahardstruggleforus，inbadseasons，tokeepbodyandsoultogether。Learningtosinganddanceinpublicoftenmeantlearningtobearhungerandcoldinprivate，whenIwasapprenticedtothestage。AndyetIhavelivedtolookbackonmydayswiththestrollingplayersasthehappiestdaysofmylife！
\"IwastenyearsoldwhenthefirstseriousmisfortunethatIcanrememberfelluponme。Mymotherdied，wornoutintheprimeofherlife。Andnotlongafterwardthestrollingcompany，broughttotheendofitsresourcesbyasuccessionofbadseasons，wasbrokenup。
\"Iwasleftontheworld，anameless，pennilessoutcast，withonefatalinheritance——Godknows，Icanspeakofitwithoutvanity，afterwhatIhavegonethrough！——theinheritanceofmymother\'sbeauty。
\"Myonlyfriendswerethepoorstarved-outplayers。Twoofthemhusbandandwifeobtainedengagementsinanothercompany，andIwasincludedinthebargainThenewmanagerbywhomIwasemployedwasadrunkardandabrute。OnenightImadeatriflingmistakeinthecourseoftheperformances——andIwassavagelybeatenforit。PerhapsIhadinheritedsomeofmyfather\'sspirit——without，Ihope，alsoinheritingmyfather\'spitilessnature。Howeverthatmaybe，Iresolvednomatterwhatbecameofmeneveragaintoservethemanwhohadbeatenme。Iunlockedthedoorofourmiserablelodgingatdaybreakthenextmorning；and，attenyearsold，withmylittlebundleinmyhand，Ifacedtheworldalone。
\"Mymotherhadconfidedtome，inherlastmoments，myfather\'snameandtheaddressofhishouseinLondon。\'Hemayfeelsomecompassionforyou\'shesaid，\'thoughhefeelsnoneforme：tryhim。\'Ihadafewshillings，thelastpitifulremainsofmywages，inmypocket；andIwasnotfarfromLondon。ButIneverwentnearmyfather：childasIwas，Iwouldhavestarvedanddiedratherthangotohim。Ihadlovedmymotherdearly；andIhatedthemanwhohadturnedhisbackonherwhenshelayonherdeathbed。ItmadenodifferencetoMethathehappenedtobemyfather。
\"Doesthisconfessionrevoltyou？Youlookatme，Mr。Holmcroft，asifitdid。
\"Thinkalittle，sir。DoeswhatIhavejustsaidcondemnmeasaheartlesscreature，eveninmyearliestyears？Whatisafathertoachild——whenthechildhasneversatonhisknee，andneverhadakissorapresentfromhim？Ifwehadmetinthestreet，weshouldnothaveknowneachother。Perhapsinafter-days，whenIwasstarvinginLondon，Imayhavebeggedofmyfatherwithoutknowingit；andhemayhavethrownhisdaughterapennytogetridofher，withoutknowingiteither！Whatistheresacredintherelationsbetweenfatherandchild，whentheyaresuchrelationsasthese？Eventheflowersofthefieldcannotgrowwithoutlightandairtohelpthem！Howisachild\'slovetogrow，withnothingtohelpit？
\"Mysmallsavingswouldhavebeensoonexhausted，evenifIhadbeenoldenoughandstrongenoughtoprotectthemmyself。Asthingswere，myfewshillingsweretakenfrommebygypsies。Ihadnoreasontocomplain。Theygavemefoodandtheshelteroftheirtents，andtheymademeofusetotheminvariousways。Afterawhilehardtimescametothegypsies，astheyhadcometothestrollingplayers。Someofthemwereimprisoned；therestweredispersed。Itwastheseasonforhop-gatheringatthetime。Igotemploymentamongthehop-pickersnext；andthatdone，IwenttoLondonwithmynewfriends。
\"Ihavenowishtowearyandpainyoubydwellingonthispartofmychildhoodindetail。ItwillbeenoughifItellyouthatIsanklowerandloweruntilIendedinsellingmatchesinthestreet。Mymother\'slegacygotmemanyasixpencewhichmymatcheswouldneverhavecharmedoutofthepocketsofstrangersifIhadbeenanuglychild。Myface。whichwasdestinedtobemygreatestmisfortuneinafter-years，wasmybestfriendinthosedays。
\"Isthereanything，Mr。Holmcroft，inthelifeIamnowtryingtodescribewhichremindsyouofadaywhenwewereoutwalkingtogethernotlongsince？
\"Isurprisedandoffendedyou，Iremember；anditwasnotpossibleformetoexplainmyconductatthetime。Doyourecollectthelittlewanderinggirl，withthemiserablefadednosegayinherhand，whoranafterus，andbeggedforahalf-penny？Ishockedyoubyburstingoutcryingwhenthechildaskedustobuyherabitofbread。NowyouknowwhyIwassosorryforher。NowyouknowwhyIoffendedyouthenextdaybybreakinganengagementwithyourmotherandsisters，andgoingtoseethatchildinherwretchedhome。AfterwhatIhaveconfessed，youwilladmitthatmypoorlittlesisterinadversityhadthefirstclaimonme。
\"Letmegoon。IamsorryifIhavedistressedyou。Letmegoon。
\"TheforlornwanderersofthestreetshaveasIfounditonewayalwaysopentothemofpresentingtheirsufferingstothenoticeoftheirrichandcharitablefellow-creatures。Theyhaveonlytobreakthelaw——andtheymakeapublicappearanceinacourtofjustice。Ifthecircumstancesconnectedwiththeiroffenseareofaninterestingkind，theygainasecondadvantage：theyareadvertisedalloverEnglandbyareportinthenewspapers。
\"Yes！evenIhavemyknowledgeofthelaw。IknowthatitcompletelyoverlookedmeaslongasIrespectedit。ButontwodifferentoccasionsitbecamemybestfriendwhenIsetitatdefiance！MyfirstfortunateoffensewascommittedwhenIwasjusttwelveyearsold。
\"Itwaseveningtime。Iwashalfdeadwithstarvation；therainwasfalling；thenightwascomingon。Ibegged——openly，loudly，asonlyahungrychildcanbeg。Anoldladyinacarriageatashopdoorcomplainedofmyimportunity。Thepolicemandidhisduty。Thelawgavemeasupperandshelteratthestation-housethatnight。Iappearedatthepolicecourt，and，questionedbythemagistrate，Itoldmystorytruly。Itwastheevery-daystoryofthousandsofchildrenlikeme；butithadoneelementofinterestinit。Iconfessedtohavinghadafatherhewasthendeadwhohadbeenamanofrank；andIownedjustasopenlyasIownedeverythingelsethatIhadneverappliedtohimforhelp，inresentmentofhistreatmentofmymother。Thisincidentwasnew，Isuppose；itledtotheappearanceofmy\'case\'inthenewspapers。Thereportersfurtherservedmyinterestsbydescribingmeas\'prettyandinteresting。\'Subscriptionsweresenttothecourt。Abenevolentmarriedcouple，inarespectablesphereoflife，visitedtheworkhousetoseeme。Iproducedafavorableimpressiononthem——especiallyonthewife。Iwasliterallyfriendless；Ihadnounwelcomerelativestofollowmeandclaimme。Thewifewaschildless；thehusbandwasagood-naturedman。Itendedintheirtakingmeawaywiththemtotrymeinservice。
\"Ihavealwaysfelttheaspiration，nomatterhowlowImayhavefallen，tostruggleupwardtoapositionaboveme；torise，inspiteoffortune，superiortomylotinlife。Perhapssomeofmyfather\'spridemaybeattherootofthisrestlessfeelinginme。Itseemstobeapartofmynature。Itbroughtmeintothishouse——anditwillgowithmeoutofthishouse。Isitmycurseormyblessing？Iamnotabletodecide。
\"OnthefirstnightwhenIsleptinmynewhomeIsaidtomyself，\'Theyhavetakenmetobetheirservant：Iwillbesomethingmorethanthat——theyshallendintakingmefortheirchild。\'BeforeIhadbeenaweekinthehouseIwasthewife\'sfavoritecompanionintheabsenceofherhusbandathisplaceofbusiness。Shewasahighlyaccomplishedwoman，greatlyherhusband\'ssuperiorincultivation，and，unfortunatelyforherself，alsohissuperiorinyears。Thelovewasallonherside。Exceptingcertainoccasionsonwhichherousedherjealousy，theylivedtogetheronsufficientlyfriendlyterms。Shewasoneofthemanywiveswhoresignthemselvestobedisappointedintheirhusbands——andhewasoneofthemanyhusbandswhoneverknowwhattheirwivesreallythinkofthem。Heronegreathappinesswasinteachingme。Iwaseagertolearn；Imaderapidprogress。AtmypliantageIsoonacquiredtherefinementsoflanguageandmannerwhichcharacterizedmymistress。Itisonlythetruthtosaythatthecultivationwhichhasmademecapableofpersonatingaladywasherwork。
\"ForthreehappyyearsIlivedunderthatfriendlyroof。Iwasbetweenfifteenandsixteenyearsofage，whenthefatalinheritancefrommymothercastitsfirstshadowonmylife。Onemiserabledaythewife\'smotherlyloveformechangedinaninstanttothejealoushatredthatneverforgives。Canyouguessthereason？Thehusbandfellinlovewithme。
\"Iwasinnocent；Iwasblameless。Heownedithimselftotheclergymanwhowaswithhimathisdeath。Bythattimeyearshadpassed。Itwastoolatetojustifyme。
\"HewasatanagewhenIwasunderhiscarewhenmenareusuallysupposedtoregardwomenwithtranquillity，ifnotwithindifference。Ithadbeenthehabitofyearswithmetolookonhimasmysecondfather。Inmyinnocentignoranceofthefeelingwhichreallyinspiredhim，Ipermittedhimtoindulgeinlittlepaternalfamiliaritieswithme，whichinflamedhisguiltypassion。Hiswifediscoveredhim——notI。Nowordscandescribemyastonishmentandmyhorrorwhenthefirstoutbreakofherindignationforcedonmetheknowledgeofthetruth。OnmykneesIdeclaredmyselfguiltless。OnmykneesIimploredhertodojusticetomypurityandmyyouth。Atothertimesthesweetestandthemostconsiderateofwomen，jealousyhadnowtransformedhertoaperfectfury。Sheaccusedmeofdeliberatelyencouraginghim；shedeclaredshewouldturnmeoutofthehousewithherownhands。Likeothereasy-temperedmen，herhusbandhadreservesofangerinhimwhichitwasdangeroustoprovoke。Whenhiswifeliftedherhandagainstme，helostallself-control，onhisside。Heopenlytoldherthatlifewasworthnothingtohimwithoutme。HeopenlyavowedhisresolutiontogowithmewhenIleftthehouse。Themaddenedwomanseizedhimbythearm——Isawthat，andsawnomore。Iranoutintothestreet，panic-stricken。Acabwaspassing。Igotintoitbeforehecouldopenthehousedoor，anddrovetotheonlyplaceofrefugeIcouldthinkof——asmallshop，keptbythewidowedsisterofoneofourservants。HereIobtainedshelterforthenight。Thenextdayhediscoveredme。Hemadehisvileproposals；heofferedmethewholeofhisfortune；hedeclaredhisresolution，saywhatImight，toreturnthenextday。Thatnight，byhelpofthegoodwomanwhohadtakencareofme——undercoverofthedarkness，asifIhadbeentoblame！——IwassecretlyremovedtotheEastEndofLondon，andplacedunderthechargeofatrustworthypersonwholived，inaveryhumbleway，bylettinglodgings。
\"Here，inalittlebackgarretatthetopofthehouse，Iwasthrownagainontheworld——anagewhenitwasdoublyperilousformetobelefttomyownresourcestoearnthebreadIateandtheroofthatcoveredme。
\"Iclaimnocredittomyself——youngasIwas，placedasIwasbetweentheeasylifeofViceandthehardlifeofVirtue——foractingasIdid。Themansimplyhorrifiedme：mynaturalimpulsewastoescapefromhim。Butletitberemembered，beforeIapproachthesaddestpartofmysadstory，thatIwasaninnocentgirl，andthatIwasatleastnottoblame。
\"ForgivemefordwellingasIhavedoneonmyearlyyears。Ishrinkfromspeakingoftheeventsthatarestilltocome。
\"Inlosingtheesteemofmyfirstbenefactress，Ihad，inmyfriendlessposition，lostallholdonanhonestlife——excepttheonefrailholdofneedle-work。TheonlyreferenceofwhichIcouldnowdisposewastherecommendationofmebymylandladytoaplaceofbusinesswhichlargelyemployedexpertneedle-women。Itisneedlessformetotellyouhowmiserablyworkofthatsortisremunerated：youhavereadaboutitinthenewspapers。AslongasmyhealthlastedIcontrivedtoliveandtokeepoutofdebt。FewgirlscouldhaveresistedaslongasIdidtheslowly-poisoninginfluencesofcrowdedwork-room，insufficientnourishment，andalmosttotalprivationofexercise。Mylifeasachildhadbeenalifeintheopenair：ithadhelpedtostrengthenaconstitutionnaturallyhardy，naturallyfreefromalltaintofhereditarydisease。Butmytimecameatlast。Underthecruelstresslaidonitmyhealthgaveway。Iwasstruckdownbylowfever，andsentencewaspronouncedonmebymyfellow-lodgers：\'Ah，poorthing，hertroubleswillsoonbeatanend！\'
\"Thepredictionmighthaveprovedtrue——Imightneverhavecommittedtheerrorsandenduredthesufferingsofafteryears——ifIhadfallenillinanotherhouse。
\"Butitwasmygood，ormyevil，fortune——Idarenotsaywhich——tohaveinterestedinmyselfandmysorrowsanactressatasuburbantheatre，whooccupiedtheroomundermine。Exceptwhenherstagedutiestookherawayfortwoorthreehoursintheevening，thisnoblecreatureneverleftmybedside。Illasshecouldaffordit，herpursepaidmyinevitableexpenseswhileIlayhelpless。Thelandlady，movedbyherexample，acceptedhalftheweeklyrentofmyroom。Thedoctor，withtheChristiankindnessofhisprofession，wouldtakenofees。Allthatthetenderestcarecouldaccomplishwaslavishedonme；myyouthandmyconstitutiondidtherest。Istruggledbacktolife——andthenItookupmyneedleagain。
\"ItmaysurpriseyouthatIshouldhavefailedhavinganactressformydearestfriendtousethemeansofintroductionthusofferedtometotrythestage——especiallyasmychildishtraininghadgivenme，insomesmalldegree，afamiliaritywiththeArt。
\"Ihadonlyonemotiveforshrinkingfromanappearanceatthetheatre——butitwasstrongenoughtoinducemetosubmittoanyalternativethatremained，nomatterhowhopelessitmightbe。IfIshowedmyselfonthepublicstage，mydiscoverybythemanfromwhomIhadescapedwouldbeonlyaquestionoftime。Iknewhimtobehabituallyaplay-goerandasubscribertoatheatricalnewspaper。Ihadevenheardhimspeakofthetheatretowhichmyfriendwasattached，andcompareitadvantageouslywithplacesofamusementoffarhigherpretensions。Soonerorlater，ifIjoinedthecompanyhewouldbecertaintogoandsee\'thenewactress。\'Thebarethoughtofitreconciledmetoreturningtomyneedle。BeforeIwasstrongenoughtoenduretheatmosphereofthecrowdedworkroomIobtainedpermission，asafavor，toresumemyoccupationathome。
\"Surelymychoicewasthechoiceofavirtuousgirl？AndyetthedaywhenIreturnedtomyneedlewasthefataldayofmylife。
\"Ihadnownotonlytoprovideforthewantsofthepassinghour——Ihadmydebtstopay。Itwasonlytobedonebytoilingharderthanever，andbylivingmorepoorlythanever。Isoonpaidthepenalty，inmyweakenedstate，ofleadingsuchalifeasthis。Oneeveningmyheadturnedsuddenlygiddy；myheartthrobbedfrightfully。Imanagedtoopenthewindow，andtoletthefreshairintotheroom，andIfeltbetter。ButIwasnotsufficientlyrecoveredtobeabletothreadmyneedle。Ithoughttomyself，\'IfIgooutforhalfanhour，alittleexercisemayputmerightagain。\'Ihadnot，asIsuppose，beenoutmorethantenminuteswhentheattackfromwhichIhadsufferedinmyroomwasrenewed。TherewasnoshopnearinwhichIcouldtakerefuge。Itriedtoringthebellofthenearesthousedoor。BeforeIcouldreachitIfaintedinthestreet。
\"Howlonghungerandweaknessleftmeatthemercyofthefirststrangerwhomightpassby，itisimpossibleformetosay。
\"WhenIpartiallyrecoveredmysensesIwasconsciousofbeingundersheltersomewhere，andofhavingawine-glasscontainingsomecordialdrinkheldtomylipsbyaman。Imanagedtoswallow——Idon\'tknowhowlittle，orhowmuch。Thestimulanthadaverystrangeeffectonme。Revivingmeatfirst，itendedinstupefyingme。Ilostmysensesoncemore。
\"WhenInextrecoveredmyself，thedaywasbreaking。Iwasinabedinastrangeroom。Anamelessterrorseizedme。Icalledout。Threeorfourwomencamein，whosefacesbetrayed，eventomyinexperiencedeyes，theshamelessinfamyoftheirlives。Istartedupinthebed。IimploredthemtotellmewhereIwas，andwhathadhappened——
\"Spareme！Icansaynomore。NotlongsinceyouheardMissRoseberrycallmeanoutcastfromthestreets。Nowyouknow——asGodismyjudgeIamspeakingthetruth！——nowyouknowwhatmademeanoutcast，andinwhatmeasureIdeservedmydisgrace。\"
Hervoicefaltered，herresolutionfailedher，forthefirsttime。
\"Givemeafewminutes，\"shesaid，inlow，pleadingtones。\"IfItrytogoonnow，IamafraidIshallcry。\"
ShetookthechairwhichJulianhadplacedforher，turningherfaceasidesothatneitherofthemencouldseeit。Oneofherhandswaspressedoverherbosom，theotherhunglistlesslyatherside。
Julianrosefromtheplacethathehadoccupied。Horaceneithermovednorspoke。Hisheadwasonhisbreast：thetracesoftearsonhischeeksownedmutelythatshehadtouchedhisheart。Wouldheforgiveher？Julianpassedon，andapproachedMercy\'schair。
Insilencehetookthehandwhichhungatherside。Insilenceheliftedittohislipsandkissedit，asherbrothermighthavekissedit。Shestarted，butsheneverlookedup。Somestrangefearofdiscoveryseemedtopossessher。\"Horace？\"shewhispered，timidly。Julianmadenoreply。Hewentbacktohisplace，andallowedhertothinkitwasHorace。
Thesacrificewasimmenseenough——feelingtowardherashefelt——tobeworthyofthemanwhomadeit。
Afewminuteshadbeenallsheaskedfor。Inafewminutessheturnedtowardthemagain。Hersweetvoicewassteadyoncemore；hereyesrestedsoftlyonHoraceasshewenton。
\"Whatwasitpossibleforafriendlessgirlinmypositiontodo，whenthefullknowledgeoftheoutragehadbeenrevealedtome？
\"IfIhadpossessednearanddearrelativestoprotectandadviseme，thewretchesintowhosehandsIhadfallenmighthavefeltthepenaltyofthelaw。Iknewnomoreoftheformalitieswhichsetthelawinmotionthanachild。ButIhadanotheralternativeyouwillsay。Charitablesocietieswouldhavereceivedmeandhelpedme，ifIhadstatedmycasetothem。IknewnomoreofthecharitablesocietiesthanIknewofthelaw。Atleast，then，ImighthavegonebacktothehonestpeopleamongwhomIhadlived？WhenIreceivedmyfreedom，aftertheintervalofsomedays，Iwasashamedtogobacktothehonestpeople。Helplesslyandhopelessly，withoutsinorchoiceofmine，Idrifted，asthousandsofotherwomenhavedrifted，intothelifewhichsetamarkonmefortherestofmydays。
\"Areyousurprisedattheignorancewhichthisconfessionreveals？
\"You，whohaveyoursolicitorstoinformyouoflegalremediesandyournewspapers，circulars，andactivefriendstosoundthepraisesofcharitableinstitutionscontinuallyinyourears——you，whopossesstheseadvantages，havenoideaoftheouterworldofignoranceinwhichyourlostfellow-creatureslive。Theyknownothingunlesstheyareroguesaccustomedtopreyonsocietyofyourbenevolentschemestohelpthem。Thepurposeofpubliccharities，andthewaytodiscoverandapplytothem，oughttobepostedatthecornerofeverystreet。Whatdoweknowofpublicdinnersandeloquentsermonsandneatlyprintedcirculars？Everynowandthentheeaseofsomeforlorncreaturegenerallyofawomanwhohascommittedsuicide，withinfiveminutes\'walk，perhaps，ofaninstitutionwhichwouldhaveopeneditsdoorstoher，appearsinthenewspapers，shocksyoudreadfully，andisthenforgottenagain。Takeasmuchpainstomakecharitiesandasylumsknownamongthepeoplewithoutmoneyasaretakentomakeanewplay，anewjournal，oranewmedicineknownamongthepeoplewithmoneyandyouwillsavemanyalostcreaturewhoisperishingnow。
\"YouwillforgiveandunderstandmeifIsaynomoreofthisperiodofmylife。Letmepasstothenewincidentinmycareerwhichbroughtmeforthesecondtimebeforethepublicnoticeinacourtoflaw。
\"Sadasmyexperiencehasbeen，ithasnottaughtmetothinkillofhumannature。Ihadfoundkindheartstofeelformeinmyformertroubles；andIhadfriends——faithful，self-denying，generousfriends——amongmysistersinadversitynow。Oneofthesepoorwomenshehasgone，Iamgladtothink，fromtheworldthatusedhersohardlyespeciallyattractedmysympathies。Shewasthegentlest，themostunselfishcreatureIhaveevermetwith。Welivedtogetherlikesisters。Morethanonceinthedarkhourswhenthethoughtofself-destructioncomestoadesperatewoman，theimageofmypoordevotedfriend，lefttosufferalone，roseinmymindandrestrainedme。Youwillhardlyunderstandit，butevenwehadourhappydays。WhensheorIhadafewshillingstospare，weusedtoofferoneanotherlittlepresents，andenjoyoursimplepleasureingivingandreceivingaskeenlyasifwehadbeenthemostreputablewomenliving。
\"OnedayItookmyfriendintoashoptobuyheraribbon——onlyabowforherdress。Shewastochooseit，andIwastopayforit，anditwastobetheprettiestribbonthatmoneycouldbuy。
\"Theshopwasfull；wehadtowaitalittlebeforewecouldbeserved。
\"Nexttome，asIstoodatthecounterwithmycompanion，wasagaudily-dressedwoman，lookingatsomehandkerchiefs。Thehandkerchiefswerefinelyembroidered，butthesmartladywashardtoplease。Shetumbledthemupdisdainfullyinaheap，andaskedforotherspecimensfromthestockintheshop。Theman，inclearingthehandkerchiefsoutoftheway，suddenlymissedone。Hewasquitesureofit，fromapeculiarityintheembroiderywhichmadethehandkerchiefespeciallynoticeable。Iwaspoorlydressed，andIwasclosetothehandkerchiefs。Afteronelookatmeheshoutedtothesuperintendent：\'Shutthedoor！Thereisathiefintheshop！\'
\"Thedoorwasclosed；thelosthandkerchiefwasvainlysoughtforonthecounterandonthefloor。Arobberyhadbeencommitted；andIwasaccusedofbeingthethief。
\"IwillsaynothingofwhatIfelt——Iwillonlytellyouwhathappened。
\"Iwassearched，andthehandkerchiefwasdiscoveredonme。Thewomanwhohadstoodnexttome，onfindingherselfthreatenedwithdiscovery，hadnodoubtcontrivedtoslipthestolenhandkerchiefintomypocket。Onlyanaccomplishedthiefcouldhaveescapeddetectioninthatwaywithoutmyknowledge。Itwasuseless，inthefaceofthefacts，todeclaremyinnocence。Ihadnocharactertoappealto。Myfriendtriedtospeakforme；butwhatwasshe？Onlyalostwomanlikemyself。Mylandlady\'sevidenceinfavorofmyhonestyproducednoeffect；itwasagainstherthatsheletlodgingstopeopleinmyposition。Iwasprosecuted，andfoundguilty。Thetaleofmydisgraceisnowcomplete，Mr。Holmcroft。NomatterwhetherIwasinnocentornot，theshameofitremains——Ihavebeenimprisonedfortheft。
\"Thematronoftheprisonwasthenextpersonwhotookaninterestinme。ShereportedfavorablyofmybehaviortotheauthoritiesandwhenIhadservedmytimeasthephrasewasamongusshegavemealettertothekindfriendandguardianofmylateryears——totheladywhoiscomingheretotakemebackwithhertotheRefuge。
\"Fromthistimethestoryofmylifeislittlemorethanthestoryofawoman\'svaineffortstorecoverherlostplaceintheworld。
\"Thematron，onreceivingmeintotheRefuge，franklyacknowledgedthattherewereterribleobstaclesinmyway。ButshesawthatIwassincere，andshefeltagoodwoman\'ssympathyandcompassionforme。Onmyside，Ididnotshrinkfrombeginningtheslowandwearyjourneybackagaintoareputablelifefromthehumbleststarting-point——fromdomesticservice。AfterfirstearningmynewcharacterintheRefuge，Iobtainedatrialinarespectablehouse。Iworkedhard，andworkeduncomplainingly；butmymother\'sfatallegacywasagainstmefromthefirst。Mypersonalappearanceexcitedremark；mymannersandhabitswerenotthemannersandhabitsofthewomenamongwhommylotwascast。Itriedoneplaceafteranother——alwayswiththesameresults。SuspicionandjealousyIcouldendure；butIwasdefenselesswhencuriosityassailedmeinitsturn。Soonerorlaterinquiryledtodiscovery。Sometimestheservantsthreatenedtogivewarninginabody——andIwasobligedtogo。Sometimes，wheretherewasayoungmaninthefamily，scandalpointedatmeandathim——andagainIwasobligedtogo。Ifyoucaretoknowit，MissRoseberrycantellyouthestoryofthosesaddays。IconfidedittoheronthememorablenightwhenwemetintheFrenchcottage；Ihavenoheartrepeatitnow。AfterawhileIweariedofthehopelessstruggle。Despairlaiditsholdonme——IlostallhopeinthemercyofGod。MorethanonceIwalkedtooneorotherofthebridges，andlookedovertheparapetattheriver，andsaidtomyself\'Otherwomenhavedoneit：whyshouldn\'tI？\'
\"Yousavedmeatthattime，Mr。Gray——asyouhavesavedmesince。IwasoneofyourcongregationwhenyoupreachedinthechapeloftheRefugeYoureconciledothersbesidesmetoourhardpilgrimage。Intheirnameandinmine，sir，Ithankyou。
\"IforgethowlongitwasafterthebrightdaywhenyoucomfortedandsustainedusthatthewarbrokeoutbetweenFranceandGermany。ButIcanneverforgettheeveningwhenthematronsentformeintoherownroomandsaid，\'Mydear，yourlifehereisawastedlife。Ifyouhavecourageenoughlefttotryit，Icangiveyouanotherchance。\'
\"IpassedthroughamonthofprobationinaLondonhospital。AweekafterthatIworetheredcrossoftheGenevaConvention——IwasappointednurseinaFrenchambulance。Whenyoufirstsawme，Mr。Holmcroft，Istillhadmynurse\'sdresson，hiddenfromyouandfromeverybodyunderagraycloak。
\"Youknowwhatthenexteventwas；youknowhowIenteredthishouse。
\"Ihavenottriedtomaketheworstofmytrialsandtroublesintellingyouwhatmylifehasbeen。IhavehonestlydescribeditforwhatitwaswhenImetwithMissRoseberry——alifewithouthope。MayyouneverknowthetemptationthattriedmewhentheshellstruckitsvictimintheFrenchcottage！Thereshelay——dead！Hernamewasuntainted。Herfuturepromisedmetherewardwhichhadbeendeniedtothehonesteffortsofapenitentwoman。MylostplaceintheworldwasofferedbacktomeontheoneconditionthatIstoopedtowinitbyafraud。Ihadnoprospecttolookforwardto；Ihadnofriendneartoadvisemeandtosaveme；thefairestyearsofmywomanhoodhadbeenwastedinthevainstruggletorecovermygoodname。SuchwasmypositionwhenthepossibilityofpersonatingMissRoseberryfirstforceditselfonmymind。Impulsively，recklessly——wickedly，ifyoulike——Iseizedtheopportunity，andletyoupassmethroughtheGermanlinesunderMissRoseberry\'sname。ArrivedinEngland，havinghadtimetoreflect，Imademyfirstandlastefforttodrawbackbeforeitwastoolate。IwenttotheRefuge，andstoppedontheoppositesideofthestreet，lookingatit。TheoldhopelesslifeofirretrievabledisgraceconfrontedmeasIfixedmyeyesonthefamiliardoor；thehorrorofreturningtothatlifewasmorethanIcouldforcemyselftoendure。Anemptycabpassedmeatthemoment。Thedriverhelduphishand。InsheerdespairIstoppedhim，andwhenhesaid\'Whereto？\'insheerdespairagainIanswered，\'MablethorpeHouse。\'
\"OfwhatIhavesufferedinsecretsincemyownsuccessfuldeceptionestablishedmeunderLadyJanet\'scareIshallsaynothing。Manythingswhichmusthavesurprisedyouinmyconductaremadeplaintoyoubythistime。YoumusthavenoticedlongsincethatIwasnotahappywoman。Nowyouknowwhy。
\"Myconfessionismade；myconsciencehasspokenatlast。Youarereleasedfromyourpromisetome——youarefree。ThankMr。JulianGrayifIstandhereself-accusedoftheoffense，thatIhavecommitted，beforethemanwhomIhavewronged。\"
[NextChapter]
[TableofContents]TheNewMagdalen，Chapter28CHAPTERXXVIII。
SENTENCEISPRONOUNCEDONHER。
ITwasdone。Thelasttonesofhervoicediedawayinsilence。
HereyesstillrestedonHorace。Afterhearingwhathehadheardcouldheresistthatgentle，pleadinglook？Wouldheforgiveher？AwhilesinceJulianhadseentearsonhischeeks，andhadbelievedthathefeltforher。Whywashenowsilent？Wasitpossiblethatheonlyfeltforhimself？
Forthelasttime——atthecrisisofherlife——Julianspokeforher。Hehadneverlovedherashelovedheratthatmoment；ittriedevenhisgenerousnaturetopleadhercausewithHoraceagainsthimself。Buthehadpromisedher，withoutreserve，allthehelpthathertruestfriendcouldoffer。Faithfullyandmanfullyheredeemedhispromise。
\"Horace！\"hesaid。
Horaceslowlylookedup。Julianroseandapproachedhim。
\"Shehastoldyoutothankme，ifherconsciencehasspoken。ThankthenoblenaturewhichansweredwhenIcalleduponit！Ownthepricelessvalueofawomanwhocanspeakthetruth。Herheartfeltrepentanceisajoyinheaven。Shallitnotpleadforheronearth？Honorher，ifyouareaChristian！Feelforher，ifyouareaman！\"
Hewaited。Horaceneveransweredhim。
Mercy\'seyesturnedtearfullyonJulian。Hisheartwastheheartthatfeltforher！Hiswordswerethewordswhichcomfortedandpardonedher！WhenshelookedbackagainatHorace，itwaswithaneffort。Hislastholdonherwaslost。Inherinmostmindathoughtroseunbidden——athoughtwhichwasnottoberepressed。\"CanIeverhavelovedthisman？\"
Sheadvancedasteptowardhim；itwasnotpossible，evenyet，tocompletelyforgotthepast。Sheheldoutherhand。
Heroseonhisside——withoutlookingather。
\"Beforewepartforever，\"shesaidtohim，\"willyoutakemyhandasatokenthatyouforgiveme？\"
Hehesitated。Hehalfliftedhishand。Thenextmomentthegenerousimpulsediedawayinhim。Initsplacecamethemeanfearofwhatmighthappenifhetrustedhimselftothedangerousfascinationofhertouch。Hishanddroppedagainathisside；heturnedawayquickly。
\"Ican\'tforgiveher！\"hesaid。
Withthathorribleconfession——withoutevenalastlookather——helefttheroom。
AtthemomentwhenheopenedthedoorJulian\'scontemptforhimburstitswaythroughallrestraints。
\"Horace，\"hesaid，\"Ipityyou！\"
AsthewordsescapedhimhelookedbackatMercy。Shehadturnedasidefrombothofthem——shehadretiredtoadistantpartofthelibraryThefirstbitterforetasteofwhatwasinstoreforherwhenshefacedtheworldagainhadcometoherfromHorace！Theenergywhichhadsustainedherthusfarquailedbeforethedreadfulprospect——doublydreadfultoawoman——ofobloquyandcontempt。Shesankonherkneesbeforealittlecouchinthedarkestcorneroftheroom。\"OChrist，havemercyonme！\"Thatwasherprayer——nomore。
Julianfollowedher。Hewaitedalittle。Thenhiskindhandtouchedher；hisfriendlyvoicefellconsolinglyonherear。
\"Rise，poorwoundedheart！Beautiful，purifiedsoul，God\'sangelsrejoiceoveryou！TakeyourplaceamongthenoblestofGod\'screatures！\"
Heraisedherashespoke。Allherheartwentouttohim。Shecaughthishand——shepressedittoherbosom；shepressedittoherlips——thendroppeditsuddenly，andstoodbeforehimtremblinglikeafrightenedchild。
\"Forgiveme！\"wasallshecouldsay。\"Iwassolostandlonely——andyouaresogoodtome！\"
Shetriedtoleavehim。Itwasuseless——herstrengthwasgone；shecaughtattheheadofthecouchtosupportherself。Helookedather。Theconfessionofhislovewasjustrisingtohislips——helookedagain，andcheckedit。No，notatthatmoment；notwhenshewashelplessandashamed；notwhenherweaknessmightmakeheryield，onlytoregretitatalatertime。Thegreatheartwhichhadsparedherandfeltforherfromthefirstsparedherandfeltforhernow。
He，too，lefther——butnotwithoutawordatparting。
\"Don\'tthinkofyourfuturelifejustyet，\"hesaid，gently。\"Ihavesomethingtoproposewhenrestandquiethaverestoredyou。\"Heopenedthenearestdoor——thedoorofthedining-room——andwentout。
Theservantsengagedincompletingthedecorationofthedinner-tablenoticed，when\"Mr。Julian\"enteredtheroom，thathiseyeswere\"brighterthanever。\"Helookedtheyremarkedlikeamanwho\"expectedgoodnews。\"Theywereinclinedtosuspect——thoughhewascertainlyratheryoungforit——thatherladyship\'snephewwasinafairwayofprefermentintheChurch。
Mercyseatedherselfonthecouch。
Therearelimits，inthephysicalorganizationofman，totheactionofpain。Whensufferinghasreachedagivenpointofintensitythenervoussensibilitybecomesincapableoffeelingmore。TheruleofNature，inthisrespect，appliesnotonlytosufferersinthebody，buttosufferersinthemindaswell。Grief，rage，terror，havealsotheirappointedlimits。Themoralsensibility，likethenervoussensibility，reachesitsperiodofabsoluteexhaustion，andfeelsnomore。
ThecapacityforsufferinginMercyhadattaineditsterm。Aloneinthelibrary，shecouldfeelthephysicalreliefofrepose；shecouldvaguelyrecallJulian\'spartingwordstoher，andsadlywonderwhattheymeant——shecoulddonomore。
Anintervalpassed；abriefintervalofperfectrest。
SherecoveredherselfsufficientlytobeabletolookatherwatchandtoestimatethelapseoftimethatmightyetpassbeforeJulianreturnedtoherashehadpromised。Whilehermindwasstilllanguidlyfollowingthistrainofthoughtshewasdisturbedbytheringingofabellinthehall，usedtosummontheservantwhosedutieswereconnectedwiththatpartofthehouse。Inleavingthelibrary，Horacehadgoneoutbythedoorwhichledintothehall，andhadfailedtocloseit。Sheplainlyheardthebell——andamomentlatermoreplainlystillsheheardLadyJanet\'svoice！
Shestartedtoherfeet。LadyJanet\'sletterwasstillinthepocketofherapron——theletterwhichimperativelycommandedhertoabstainfrommakingtheveryconfessionthathadjustpassedherlips！Itwasnearthedinnerhour，andthelibrarywasthefavoriteplaceinwhichthemistressofthehouseandherguestsassembledatthattime。Itwasnomatterofdoubt；itwasanabsolutecertaintythatLadyJanethadonlystoppedinthehallonherwayintotheroom。
ThealternativeforMercylaybetweeninstantlyleavingthelibrarybythedining-roomdoor——orremainingwhereshewas，attheriskofbeingsoonerorlatercompelledtoownthatshehaddeliberatelydisobeyedherbenefactress。Exhaustedbywhatshehadalreadysuffered，shestoodtremblingandirresolute，incapableofdecidingwhichalternativesheshouldchoose。
LadyJanet\'svoice，clearandresolute，penetratedintotheroom。Shewasreprimandingtheservantwhohadansweredthebell。
\"Isityourdutyinmyhousetolookafterthelamps？\"
\"Yes，mylady。\"
\"Andisitmydutytopayyouyourwages？\"\"
\"Ifyouplease，mylady。\"
\"WhydoIfindthelightinthehalldim，andthewickofthatlampsmoking？IhavenotfailedinmydutytoYou。Don\'tletmefindyoufailingagaininyourdutytoMe。\"
NeverhadLadyJanet\'svoicesoundedsosternlyinMercy\'searasitsoundednow。Ifshespokewiththattoneofseveritytoaservantwhohadneglectedalamp，whathadheradopteddaughtertoexpectwhenshediscoveredthatherentreatiesandhercommandshadbeenalikesetatdefiance？
Havingadministeredherreprimand，LadyJanethadnotdonewiththeservantyet。Shehadaquestiontoputtohimnext。
\"WhereisMissRoseberry？\"
\"Inthelibrary，mylady。\"
Mercyreturnedtothecouch。Shecouldstandnolonger；shehadnotevenresolutionenoughlefttolifthereyestothedoor。
LadyJanetcameinmorerapidlythanusual。Sheadvancedtothecouch，andtappedMercyplayfullyonthecheekwithtwoofherfingers。
\"Youlazychild！Notdressedfordinner？Oh，fie，fie！\"
Hertonewasasplayfullyaffectionateastheactionwhichhadaccompaniedherwords。InspeechlessastonishmentMercylookedupather。
Alwaysremarkableforthetasteandsplendorofherdress，LadyJanethadonthisoccasionsurpassedherself。Thereshestoodrevealedinhergrandestvelvet，herrichestjewelry，herfinestlace——withnoonetoentertainatthedinner-tablebuttheordinarymembersofthecircleatMablethorpeHouse。Noticingthisasstrangetobeginwith，Mercyfurtherobserved，forthefirsttimeinherexperience，thatLadyJanet\'seyesavoidedmeetinghers。Theoldladytookherplacecompanionablyonthecouch；sheridiculedher\"lazychild\'s\"plaindress，withoutanornamentofanysortonit，withherbestgrace；sheaffectionatelyputherarmroundMercy\'swaist，andrearrangedwithherownhandthedisorderedlocksofMercy\'shair——buttheinstantMercyherselflookedather，LadyJanet\'seyesdiscoveredsomethingsupremelyinterestinginthefamiliarobjectsthatsurroundedheronthelibrarywalls。
Howwerethesechangestobeinterpreted？Towhatpossibleconclusiondidtheypoint？
Julian\'sprofounderknowledgeofhumannature，ifJulianhadbeenpresent，mighthavefoundaclewtothemystery。HemighthavesurmisedincredibleasitwasthatMercy\'stimiditybeforeLadyJanetwasfullyreciprocatedbyLadyJanet\'stimiditybeforeMercy。Itwasevenso。ThewomanwhoseimmovablecomposurehadconqueredGraceRoseberry\'sutmostinsolenceinthehourofhertriumph——thewomanwho，withoutonceflinching，hadfacedeveryotherconsequenceofherresolutiontoignoreMercy\'struepositioninthehouse——quailedforthefirsttimewhenshefoundherselffacetofacewiththeverypersonforwhomshehadsufferedandsacrificedsomuch。ShehadshrunkfromthemeetingwithMercy，asMercyhadshrunkfromthemeetingwithher。Thesplendorofherdressmeantsimplythat，whenotherexcusesfordelayingthemeetingdownstairshadallbeenexhausted，theexcuseofalong，andelaboratetoilethadbeentriednext。Eventhemomentsoccupiedinreprimandingtheservanthadbeenmomentsseizedonasthepretextforanotherdelay。Thehastyentranceintotheroom，thenervousassumptionofplayfulnessinlanguageandmanner，theevasiveandwanderingeyes，wereallreferabletothesamecause。Inthepresenceofothers，LadyJanethadsuccessfullysilencedtheprotestofherowninbreddelicacyandinbredsenseofhonor。InthepresenceofMercy，whomshelovedwithamother\'slove——inthepresenceofMercy，forwhomshehadstoopedtodeliberateconcealmentofthetruth——allthatwashighandnobleinthewoman\'snatureroseinherandrebukedher。Whatwillthedaughterofmyadoption，thechildofmyfirstandlastexperienceofmaternallove，thinkofme，nowthatIhavemademyselfanaccompliceinthefraudofwhichsheisashamed？HowcanIlookherintheface，whenIhavenothesitated，outofselfishconsiderationformyowntranquillity，toforbidthatfrankavowalofthetruthwhichherfinersenseofdutyhadspontaneouslyboundhertomake？ThosewerethetorturingquestionsinLadyJanet\'smind，whileherarmwaswoundaffectionatelyroundMercy\'swaist，whileherfingerswerebusyingthemselvesfamiliarlywiththearrangementofMercy\'shair。Thence，andthenceonly，sprangtheimpulsewhichsethertalking，withanuneasyaffectationoffrivolity，ofanytopicwithintherangeofconversation，solongasitrelatedtothefuture，andcompletelyignoredthepresentandthepast。
\"Thewinterhereisunendurable，\"LadyJanetbegan。\"Ihavebeenthinking，Grace，aboutwhatwehadbetterdonext。\"
Mercystarted。LadyJanethadcalledher\"Grace。\"LadyJanetwasstilldeliberatelyassumingtobeinnocentofthefaintestsuspicionofthetruth。
\"No，\"resumedherladyship，affectingtomisunderstandMercy\'smovement，\"youarenottogoupnowanddress。Thereisnotime，andIamquitereadytoexcuseyou。Youareafoiltome，mydear。Youhavereachedtheperfectionofshabbiness。Ah！IrememberwhenIhadmywhimsandfanciestoo，andwhenIlookedwellinanythingIwore，justasyoudo。Nomoreofthat。AsIwassaying，Ihavebeenthinkingandplanningwhatwearetodo。Wereallycan\'tstayhere。Coldoneday，andhotthenext——whataclimate！Asforsociety，whatdoweloseifwegoaway？Thereisnosuchthingassocietynow。Assembliesofwell-dressedmobsmeetateachother\'shouses，teareachother\'sclothes，treadoneachother\'stoes。Ifyouareparticularlylucky，yousitonthestaircase，yougetatepidice，andyouhearvapidtalkinslangphrasesallroundyou。Thereismodernsociety。Ifwehadagoodopera，itwouldbesomethingtostayinLondonfor。Lookattheprogrammefortheseasononthattable——promisingasmuchaspossibleonpaper，andperformingaslittleaspossibleonthestage。Thesameworks，sungbythesamesingersyearafteryear，tothesamestupidpeople——inshortthedullestmusicaleveningsinEurope。No！themoreIthinkofit，themoreplainlyIperceivethatthereisbutonesensiblechoicebeforeus：wemustgoabroad。Setthatprettyheadtowork；choosenorthorsouth，eastorwest；it\'sallthesametome。Whereshallwego？\"