第7章
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  ShewrotethustoEmily:-

  \"Dec。1st,1843。

  \"ThisisSundaymorning。Theyareattheiridolatrous’messe,’

  andIamhere,thatisintheRefectoire。Ishouldlikeuncommonlytobeinthedining-roomathome,orinthekitchen,orinthebackkitchen。Ishouldlikeeventobecuttingupthehash,withtheclerkandsomeregisterpeopleattheothertable,andyoustandingby,watchingthatIputenoughflour,nottoomuchpepper,and,aboveall,thatIsavethebestpiecesofthelegofmuttonforTigerandKeeper,thefirstofwhichpersonageswouldbejumpingaboutthedishandcarving-knife,andthelatterstandinglikeadevouringflameonthekitchen-floor。Tocompletethepicture,Tabbyblowingthefire,inordertoboilthepotatoestoasortofvegetableglue!Howdivinearetheserecollectionstomeatthismoment!YetIhavenothoughtofcominghomejustnow。Ilackarealpretextfordoingso;itistruethisplaceisdismaltome,butIcannotgohomewithoutafixedprospectwhenI

  getthere;andthisprospectmustnotbeasituation;thatwouldbejumpingoutofthefrying-panintothefire。YOUcallyourselfidle!absurd,absurd!……Ispapawell?Areyouwell?andTabby?YouaskaboutQueenVictoria’svisittoBrussels。IsawherforaninstantflashingthroughtheRueRoyaleinacarriageandsix,surroundedbysoldiers。Shewaslaughingandtalkingverygaily。Shelookedalittlestout,vivaciouslady,veryplainlydressed,notmuchdignityorpretensionabouther。TheBelgianslikedherverywellonthewhole。TheysaidsheenlivenedthesombrecourtofKingLeopold,whichisusuallyasgloomyasaconventicle。Writetomeagainsoon。Tellmewhetherpapareallywantsmeverymuchtocomehome,andwhetheryoudolikewise。IhaveanideathatIshouldbeofnousethere——asortofagedpersonupontheparish。Ipray,withheartandsoul,thatallmaycontinuewellatHaworth;aboveallinourgreyhalf-

  inhabitedhouse。Godblessthewallsthereof!Safety,health,happiness,andprosperitytoyou,papa,andTabby。Amen。

  \"C。B。\"

  Towardstheendofthisyear1843variousreasonsconspiredwiththecausesofanxietywhichhavebeenmentioned,tomakeherfeelthatherpresencewasabsolutelyandimperativelyrequiredathome,whileshehadacquiredallthatsheproposedtoherselfincomingtoBrusselsthesecondtime;andwas,moreover,nolongerregardedwiththeformerkindlinessoffeelingbyMadameHeger。

  Inconsequenceofthisstateofthings,workingdownwithsharpedgeintoasensitivemind,shesuddenlyannouncedtothatladyherimmediateintentionofreturningtoEngland。BothM。andMadameHegeragreedthatitwouldbeforthebest,whentheylearntonlythatpartofthecasewhichshecouldrevealtothem——

  namely,Mr。Bronte’sincreasingblindness。Butastheinevitablemomentofseparationfrompeopleandplaces,amongwhichshehadspentsomanyhappyhours,drewnear,herspiritsgaveway;shehadthenaturalpresentimentthatshesawthemallforthelasttime,andshereceivedbutadeadkindofcomfortfrombeingremindedbyherfriendsthatBrusselsandHaworthwerenotsoveryfarapart;thataccessfromoneplacetotheotherwasnotsodifficultorimpracticableashertearswouldseemtopredicate;

  nay,therewassometalkofoneofMadameHeger’sdaughtersbeingsenttoherasapupil,ifshefulfilledherintentionoftryingtobeginaschool。Tofacilitatehersuccessinthisplan,shouldsheeverengageinit,M。Hegergaveherakindofdiploma,datedfrom,andsealedwiththesealoftheAtheneeRoyaldeBruxelles,certifyingthatshewasperfectlycapableofteachingtheFrenchlanguage,havingwellstudiedthegrammarandcompositionthereof,and,moreover,havingpreparedherselfforteachingbystudyingandpractisingthebestmethodsofinstruction。ThiscertificateisdatedDecember29th1843,andonthe2ndofJanuary,1844,shearrivedatHaworth。

  Onthe23rdofthemonthshewritesasfollows:-

  \"EveryoneasksmewhatIamgoingtodo,nowthatIamreturnedhome;andeveryoneseemstoexpectthatIshouldimmediatelycommenceaschool。Intruth,itiswhatIshouldwishtodo。I

  desireitaboveallthings。Ihavesufficientmoneyfortheundertaking,andIhopenowsufficientqualificationstogivemeafairchanceofsuccess;yetIcannotyetpermitmyselftoenteruponlife——totouchtheobjectwhichseemsnowwithinmyreach,andwhichIhavebeensolongstrainingtoattain。Youwillaskmewhy?Itisonpapa’saccount;heisnow,asyouknow,gettingold,anditgrievesmetotellyouthatheislosinghissight。I

  havefeltforsomemonthsthatIoughtnottobeawayfromhim;

  andIfeelnowthatitwouldbetooselfishtoleavehimatleast,aslongasBranwellandAnneareabsent,inordertopursueselfishinterestsofmyown。WiththehelpofGod,Iwilltrytodenymyselfinthismatter,andtowait。

  \"IsufferedmuchbeforeIleftBrussels。Ithink,howeverlongI

  live,IshallnotforgetwhatthepartingwithM。Hegercostme。

  Itgrievedmesomuchtogrievehimwhohasbeensotrue,kind,anddisinterestedafriend。Atpartinghegavemeakindofdiplomacertifyingmyabilitiesasateacher,sealedwiththesealoftheAtheneeRoyal,ofwhichheisprofessor。IwassurprisedalsoatthedegreeofregretexpressedbymyBelgianpupils,whentheyknewIwasgoingtoleave。Ididnotthinkithadbeenintheirphlegmaticnature……IdonotknowwhetheryoufeelasI

  do,buttherearetimesnowwhenitappearstomeasifallmyideasandfeelings,exceptafewfriendshipsandaffections,arechangedfromwhattheyusedtobe;somethinginme,whichusedtobeenthusiasm,istameddownandbroken。Ihavefewerillusions;

  whatIwishfornowisactiveexertion——astakeinlife。Haworthseemssuchalonely,quietspot,buriedawayfromtheworld。Inolongerregardmyselfasyoung——indeed,Ishallsoonbetwenty-

  eight;anditseemsasifIoughttobeworkingandbravingtheroughrealitiesoftheworld,asotherpeopledo。Itis,however,mydutytorestrainthisfeelingatpresent,andIwillendeavourtodoso。\"

  Ofcourseherabsentsisterandbrotherobtainedaholidaytowelcomeherreturnhome,andinafewweeksshewassparedtopayavisittoherfriendatB。Butshewasfarfromwellorstrong,andtheshortjourneyoffourteenmilesseemstohavefatiguedhergreatly。

  SoonaftershecamebacktoHaworth,inalettertooneofthehouseholdinwhichshehadbeenstaying,thereoccursthispassage:-\"Ourpoorlittlecathasbeenilltwodays,andisjustdead。Itispiteoustoseeevenananimallyinglifeless。Emilyissorry。\"Thesefewwordsrelatetopointsinthecharactersofthetwosisters,whichImustdwelluponalittle。Charlottewasmorethancommonlytenderinhertreatmentofalldumbcreatures,andthey,withthatfineinstinctsooftennoticed,wereinvariablyattractedtowardsher。Thedeepandexaggeratedconsciousnessofherpersonaldefects——theconstitutionalabsenceofhope,whichmadeherslowtotrustinhumanaffection,and,consequently,slowtorespondtoanymanifestationofit——madehermannershyandconstrainedtomenandwomen,andeventochildren。

  Wehaveseensomethingofthistremblingdistrustofherowncapabilityofinspiringaffection,inthegratefulsurprisesheexpressesattheregretfeltbyherBelgianpupilsatherdeparture。Butnotmerelywereheractionskind,herwordsandtoneswereevergentleandcaressing,towardsanimals:andshequicklynoticedtheleastwantofcareortendernessonthepartofotherstowardsanypoorbrutecreature。Thereadersof\"Shirley\"mayrememberthatitisoneofthetestswhichtheheroineappliestoherlover。

  \"DoyouknowwhatsoothsayersIwouldconsult?\"……\"ThelittleIrishbeggarthatcomesbarefoottomydoor;themousethatstealsoutofthecrannyinmywainscot;thebirdinfrostandsnowthatpecksatmywindowforacrumb;thedogthatlicksmyhandandsitsbesidemyknee。Iknowsomebodytowhosekneetheblackcatlovestoclimb,againstwhoseshoulderandcheekitlikestopurr。

  Theolddogalwayscomesoutofhiskennelandwagshistail,andwhinesaffectionatelywhensomebodypasses。\"[For\"somebody\"and\"he,\"read\"CharlotteBronte\"and\"she。\"]\"Hequietlystrokesthecat,andletshersitwhileheconvenientlycan;andwhenhemustdisturbherbyrising,heputshersoftlydown,andneverflingsherfromhimroughly:healwayswhistlestothedog,andgiveshimacaress。\"

  Thefeeling,whichinCharlottepartookofsomethingofthenatureofanaffection,was,withEmily,moreofapassion。Someonespeakingofhertome,inacarelesskindofstrengthofexpression,said,\"shenevershowedregardtoanyhumancreature;

  allherlovewasreservedforanimals。\"ThehelplessnessofananimalwasitspassporttoCharlotte’sheart;thefierce,wild,intractabilityofitsnaturewaswhatoftenrecommendedittoEmily。Speakingofherdeadsister,theformertoldmethatfromhermanytraitsinShirley’scharacterweretaken;herwayofsittingontherugreading,withherarmroundherroughbull-

  dog’sneck;hercallingtoastrangedog,runningpast,withhangingheadandlollingtongue,togiveitamercifuldraughtofwater,itsmaddenedsnapather,hernoblysternpresenceofmind,goingrightintothekitchen,andtakinguponeofTabby’sred-hotItalianironstosearthebittenplace,andtellingnoone,tillthedangerwaswell-nighover,forfearoftheterrorsthatmightbesettheirweakerminds。Allthis,lookeduponasawell-

  inventedfictionin\"Shirley,\"waswrittendownbyCharlottewithstreamingeyes;itwastheliteraltrueaccountofwhatEmilyhaddone。Thesametawnybull-dogwithhis\"strangledwhistle\",called\"Tartar\"in\"Shirley,\"was\"Keeper\"inHaworthparsonage;agifttoEmily。Withthegiftcameawarning。Keeperwasfaithfultothedepthsofhisnatureaslongashewaswithfriends;buthewhostruckhimwithastickorwhip,rousedtherelentlessnatureofthebrute,whoflewathisthroatforthwith,andheldhimtheretilloneortheotherwasatthepointofdeath。NowKeeper’shouseholdfaultwasthis。Helovedtostealupstairs,andstretchhissquare,tawnylimbs,onthecomfortablebeds,coveredoverwithdelicatewhitecounterpanes。Butthecleanlinessoftheparsonagearrangementswasperfect;andthishabitofKeeper’swassoobjectionable,thatEmily,inreplytoTabby’sremonstrances,declaredthat,ifhewasfoundagaintransgressing,sheherself,indefianceofwarningandhiswell-knownferocityofnature,wouldbeathimsoseverelythathewouldneveroffendagain。Inthegatheringduskofanautumnevening,Tabbycame,half-

  triumphantly,half-tremblingly,butingreatwrath,totellEmilythatKeeperwaslyingonthebestbed,indrowsyvoluptuousness。

  CharlottesawEmily’swhiteningface,andsetmouth,butdarednotspeaktointerfere;noonedaredwhenEmily’seyesglowedinthatmanneroutofthepalenessofherface,andwhenherlipsweresocompressedintostone。Shewentupstairs,andTabbyandCharlottestoodinthegloomypassagebelow,fullofthedarkshadowsofcomingnight。Down-stairscameEmily,draggingafterhertheunwillingKeeper,hishindlegssetinaheavyattitudeofresistance,heldbythe\"scuftofhisneck,\"butgrowlinglowandsavagelyallthetime。Thewatcherswouldfainhavespoken,butdurstnot,forfearoftakingoffEmily’sattention,andcausinghertoavertherheadforamomentfromtheenragedbrute。Shelethimgo,plantedinadarkcorneratthebottomofthestairs;

  notimewastheretofetchstickorrod,forfearofthestranglingclutchatherthroat——herbareclenchedfiststruckagainsthisredfierceeyes,beforehehadtimetomakehisspring,and,inthelanguageoftheturf,she\"punishedhim\"tillhiseyeswereswelledup,andthehalf-blind,stupifiedbeastwasledtohisaccustomedlair,tohavehisswollenheadfomentedandcaredforbytheveryEmilyherself。Thegenerousdogowedhernogrudge;helovedherdearlyeverafter;hewalkedfirstamongthemournerstoherfuneral;hesleptmoaningfornightsatthedoorofheremptyroom,andnever,sotospeak,rejoiced,dogfashion,afterherdeath。He,inhisturn,wasmournedoverbythesurvivingsister。Letussomehowhope,inhalfRedIndiancreed,thathefollowsEmilynow;and,whenherests,sleepsonsomesoftwhitebedofdreams,unpunishedwhenheawakenstothelifeofthelandofshadows。

  Nowwecanunderstandtheforceofthewords,\"Ourpoorlittlecatisdead。Emilyissorry。\"

  CHAPTERXIII

  Themoorswereagreatresourcethisspring;EmilyandCharlottewalkedoutonthemperpetually,\"tothegreatdamageofourshoes,butIhope,tothebenefitofourhealth。\"Theoldplanofschool-keepingwasoftendiscussedintheserambles;butin-doorstheysetwithvigourtoshirt-makingfortheabsentBranwell,andponderedinsilenceovertheirpastandfuturelife。Atlasttheycametoadetermination。

  \"Ihaveseriouslyenteredintotheenterpriseofkeepingaschool——

  orrather,takingalimitednumberofpupilsathome。Thatis,I

  havebeguningoodearnesttoseekforpupils。IwrotetoMrs——\"

  theladywithwhomshehadlivedasgoverness,justbeforegoingtoBrussels,\"notaskingherforherdaughter——Icannotdothat——

  butinformingherofmyintention。IreceivedananswerfromMr——

  expressiveof,Ibelieve,sincereregretthatIhadnotinformedthemamonthsooner,inwhichcase,hesaid,theywouldgladlyhavesentmetheirowndaughter,andalsoColonelS。’s,butthatnowbothwerepromisedtoMissC。Iwaspartlydisappointedbythisanswer,andpartlygratified;indeed,IderivedquiteanimpulseofencouragementfromthewarmassurancethatifIhadbutappliedalittlesoonertheywouldcertainlyhavesentmetheirdaughter。IownIhadmisgivingsthatnobodywouldbewillingtosendachildforeducationtoHaworth。Thesemisgivingsarepartlydoneawaywith。IhavewrittenalsotoMrs。B。,andhaveenclosedthediplomawhichM。HegergavemebeforeIleftBrussels。Ihavenotyetreceivedheranswer,butIwaitforitwithsomeanxiety。Idonotexpectthatshewillsendmeanyofherchildren,butifshewould,Idaresayshecouldrecommendmeotherpupils。Unfortunately,sheknowsusonlyveryslightly。AssoonasIcangetanassuranceofonlyONEpupil,Iwillhavecardsoftermsprinted,andwillcommencetherepairsnecessaryinthehouse。Iwishallthattobedonebeforewinter。IthinkoffixingtheboardandEnglisheducationat25L。perannum。\"

  Again,atalaterdate,July24th,inthesameyear,shewrites:-

  \"IamdrivingonwithmysmallmatteraswellasIcan。IhavewrittentoallthefriendsonwhomIhavetheslightestclaim,andtosomeonwhomIhavenoclaim;Mrs。B。,forexample。Onher,also,Ihaveactuallymadeboldtocall。Shewasexceedinglypolite;regrettedthatherchildrenwerealreadyatschoolatLiverpool;thoughttheundertakingamostpraiseworthyone,butfearedIshouldhavesomedifficultyinmakingitsucceedonaccountoftheSITUATION。SuchistheanswerIreceivefromalmosteveryone。ItellthemtheRETIREDSITUATIONis,insomepointsofview,anadvantage;thatwereitinthemidstofalargetownIcouldnotpretendtotakepupilsontermssomoderateMrs。

  B。remarkedthatshethoughtthetermsverymoderate,butthat,asitis,nothavinghouse-renttopay,wecanofferthesameprivilegesofeducationthataretobehadinexpensiveseminaries,atlittlemorethanhalftheirprice;andasournumbermustbelimited,wecandevotealargeshareoftimeandpainstoeachpupil。Thankyoufortheveryprettylittlepurseyouhavesentme。Imaketoyouacuriousreturnintheshapeofhalfadozencardsofterms。Makesuchuseofthemasyourjudgmentshalldictate。YouwillseethatIhavefixedthesumat35L。,whichIthinkisthejustmedium,consideringadvantagesanddisadvantages。\"

  ThiswaswritteninJuly;August,September,andOctoberpassedaway,andnopupilsweretobeheardof。Dayafterday,therewasalittlehopefeltbythesistersuntilthepostcamein。ButHaworthvillagewaswildandlonely,andtheBrontesbutlittleknown,owingtotheirwantofconnections。Charlottewritesonthesubject,intheearlywintermonths,tothiseffect-

  \"I,Emily,andAnne,aretrulyobligedtoyoufortheeffortsyouhavemadeinourbehalf;andifyouhavenotbeensuccessful,youareonlylikeourselves。Everyonewishesuswell;buttherearenopupilstobehad。Wehavenopresentintention,however,ofbreakingourheartsonthesubject,stilllessoffeelingmortifiedatdefeat。Theeffortmustbebeneficial,whatevertheresultmaybe,becauseitteachesusexperience,andanadditionalknowledgeofthisworld。Isendyoutwomorecirculars。\"

  Amonthlater,shesays:-

  \"Wehavemadenoalterationsyetinourhouse。Itwouldbefollytodoso,whilethereissolittlelikelihoodofourevergettingpupils。Ifearyouaregivingyourselftoomuchtroubleonouraccount。Dependuponit,ifyouweretopersuadeamammatobringherchildtoHaworth,theaspectoftheplacewouldfrightenher,andshewouldprobablytakethedeargirlbackwithher,instanter。Wearegladthatwehavemadetheattempt,andwewillnotbecastdownbecauseithasnotsucceeded。\"

  Therewere,probably,growingupineachsister’sheart,secretunacknowledgedfeelingsofrelief,thattheirplanhadnotsucceeded。Yes!adullsenseofreliefthattheircherishedprojecthadbeentriedandhadfailed。Forthathouse,whichwastoberegardedasanoccasionalhomefortheirbrother,couldhardlybeafittingresidenceforthechildrenofstrangers。Theyhad,inalllikelihood,becomesilentlyawarethathishabitsweresuchastorenderhissocietyattimesmostundesirable。

  Possibly,too,theyhad,bythistime,hearddistressingrumoursconcerningthecauseofthatremorseandagonyofmind,whichattimesmadehimrestlessandunnaturallymerry,attimesrenderedhimmoodyandirritable。

  InJanuary,1845,Charlottesays:-\"Branwellhasbeenquieterandlessirritable,onthewhole,thistimethanhewasinsummer。

  Anneis,asusual,alwaysgood,mild,andpatient。\"Thedeep-

  seatedpainwhichhewastooccasiontohisrelationshadnowtakenadecidedform,andpressedheavilyonCharlotte’shealthandspirits。Earlyinthisyear,shewenttoH。tobidgood-byetoherdearfriend\"Mary,\"whowasleavingEnglandforAustralia。

  Branwell,Ihavementioned,hadobtainedthesituationofaprivatetutor。Annewasalsoengagedasgovernessinthesamefamily,andwasthusamiserablewitnesstoherbrother’sdeteriorationofcharacteratthisperiod。OfthecausesofthisdeteriorationIcannotspeak;buttheconsequenceswerethese。Hewenthomeforhisholidaysreluctantly,stayedthereasshortatimeaspossible,perplexinganddistressingthemallbyhisextraordinaryconduct——atonetimeinthehighestspirits,atanother,inthedeepestdepression——accusinghimselfofblackestguiltandtreachery,withoutspecifyingwhattheywere;andaltogetherevincinganirritabilityofdispositionborderingoninsanity。

  CharlotteandEmilysufferedacutelyfromhismysteriousbehaviour。Heexpressedhimselfmorethansatisfiedwithhissituation;hewasremaininginitforalongertimethanhehadeverdoneinanykindofemploymentbefore;sothatforsometimetheycouldnotconjecturethatanythingtheremadehimsowilful,andrestless,andfullofbothlevityandmisery。Butasenseofsomethingwrongconnectedwithhim,sickenedandoppressedthem。

  Theybegantoloseallhopeinhisfuturecareer。Hewasnolongerthefamilypride;anindistinctdread,causedpartlybyhisownconduct,partlybyexpressionsofagonisingsuspicioninAnne’slettershome,wascreepingovertheirmindsthathemightturnouttheirdeepdisgrace。But,Ibelieve,theyshrankfromanyattempttodefinetheirfears,andspokeofhimtoeachotheraslittleaspossible。Theycouldnothelpbutthink,andmourn,andwonder。

  \"Feb。20th,1845。

  \"IspentaweekatH。,notverypleasantly;headache,sickliness,andflatnessofspirits,mademeapoorcompanion,asaddragonthevivaciousandloquaciousgaietyofalltheotherinmatesofthehouse。Ineverwasfortunateenoughtobeabletorally,forasmuchasasinglehour,whileIwasthere。Iamsureall,withtheexceptionperhapsofMary,wereverygladwhenItookmydeparture。IbegintoperceivethatIhavetoolittlelifeinme,now-a-days,tobefitcompanyforanyexceptveryquietpeople。

  Isitage,orwhatelse,thatchangesmeso?\"

  Alas!shehardlyneededtohaveaskedthisquestion。Howcouldshebeotherwisethan\"flat-spirited,\"\"apoorcompanion,\"anda\"saddrag\"onthegaietyofthosewhowerelight-heartedandhappy!Herhonestplanforearningherownlivelihoodhadfallenaway,crumbledtoashes;afterallherpreparations,notapupilhadofferedherself;and,insteadofbeingsorrythatthiswishofmanyyearscouldnotberealised,shehadreasontobeglad。Herpoorfather,nearlysightless,dependeduponhercaresinhisblindhelplessness;butthiswasasacredpiouscharge,thedutiesofwhichshewasblessedinfulfilling。Theblackgloomhungoverwhathadoncebeenthebrightesthopeofthefamily——overBranwell,andthemysteryinwhichhiswaywardconductwasenveloped。Somehowandsometime,hewouldhavetoturntohishomeasahidingplaceforshame;suchwasthesadforebodingofhissisters。Thenhowcouldshebecheerful,whenshewaslosingherdearandnoble\"Mary,\"forsuchalengthoftimeanddistanceofspacethatherheartmightwellprophesythatitwas\"forever\"?Longbefore,shehadwrittenofMaryT。,thatshe\"wasfulloffeelingsnoble,warm,generous,devoted,andprofound。

  Godblessher!Ineverhopetoseeinthisworldacharactermoretrulynoble。Shewoulddiewillinglyforonesheloved。Herintellectandattainmentsareoftheveryhigheststandard。\"Andthiswasthefriendwhomshewastolose!Hearthatfriend’saccountoftheirfinalinterview:-

  \"WhenIlastsawCharlotteJan。1845,shetoldmeshehadquitedecidedtostayathome。Sheownedshedidnotlikeit。Herhealthwasweak。Shesaidsheshouldlikeanychangeatfirst,asshehadlikedBrusselsatfirst,andshethoughtthattheremustbesomepossibilityforsomepeopleofhavingalifeofmorevarietyandmorecommunionwithhumankind,butshesawnoneforher。Itoldherverywarmly,thatsheoughtnottostayathome;

  thattospendthenextfiveyearsathome,insolitudeandweakhealth,wouldruinher;thatshewouldneverrecoverit。SuchadarkshadowcameoverherfacewhenIsaid,’Thinkofwhatyou’llbefiveyearshence!’thatIstopped,andsaid,’Don’tcry,Charlotte!’Shedidnotcry,butwentonwalkingupanddowntheroom,andsaidinalittlewhile,’ButIintendtostay,Polly。’\"

  AfewweeksaftershepartedfromMary,shegivesthisaccountofherdaysatHaworth。

  \"March24th,1845。

  \"IcanhardlytellyouhowtimegetsonatHaworth。Thereisnoeventwhatevertomarkitsprogress。Onedayresemblesanother;

  andallhaveheavy,lifelessphysiognomies。Sunday,baking-day,andSaturday,aretheonlyonesthathaveanydistinctivemark。

  Meantime,lifewearsaway。Ishallsoonbethirty;andIhavedonenothingyet。SometimesIgetmelancholyattheprospectbeforeandbehindme。Yetitiswrongandfoolishtorepine。

  Undoubtedly,mydutydirectsmetostayathomeforthepresent。

  TherewasatimewhenHaworthwasaverypleasantplacetome;itisnotsonow。Ifeelasifwewereallburiedhere。Ilongtotravel;towork;tolivealifeofaction。Excuseme,dear,fortroublingyouwithmyfruitlesswishes。Iwillputbytherest,andnottroubleyouwiththem。Youmustwritetome。Ifyouknewhowwelcomeyourlettersare,youwouldwriteveryoften。Yourletters,andtheFrenchnewspapers,aretheonlymessengersthatcometomefromtheouterworldbeyondourmoors;andverywelcomemessengerstheyare。\"

  Oneofherdailyemploymentswastoreadtoherfather,anditrequiredalittlegentlediplomacyonherparttoeffectthisduty;forthereweretimeswhentheofferofanothertodowhathehadbeensolongaccustomedtodoforhimself,onlyremindedhimtoopainfullyofthedeprivationunderwhichhewassuffering。

  And,insecret,she,too,dreadedasimilarlossforherself。

  Long-continuedillhealth,aderangedconditionoftheliver,hercloseapplicationtominutedrawingandwritinginheryoungerdays,hernowhabitualsleeplessnessatnights,themanybitternoiselesstearsshehadshedoverBranwell’smysteriousanddistressingconduct——allthesecausesweretellingonherpooreyes;andaboutthistimeshethuswritestoM。Heger:-

  \"Iln’yarienquejecrainscommeledesoeuvrement,l’inertie,lalethargiedesfacultes。Quandlecorpsestparesseuxl’espritsouffrecruellement;jeneconnaitraispascettelethargie,sijepouvaisecrire。Autrefoisjepassaisdesjournees,dessemaines,desmoisentierseecrire,etpastout-e-faitsansfruit,puisqueSoutheyetColeridge,deuxdenosmeilleursauteurs,equij’aienvoyecertainsmanuscrits,enontbienvoulutemoignerleurapprobation;maisepresent,j’ailavuetropfaible;sij’ecrivaisbeaueoupjedeviendraisaveugle。Cettefaiblessedevueestpourmoiuneterribleprivation;sanscela,savez-vouscequejeferais,Monsieur?J’ecriraisunlivreetjelededieraisemonmaitredelitterature,auseulmaitrequej’aiejamaiseu——evous,Monsieur!Jevousaiditsouventenfrancaiscombienjevousrespecte,combienjesuisredevableevotrebonte,evosconseils。Jevoudraisledireunefoisenanglais。Celanesepeutpas;ilnefautpasypenser。Lacarrieredeslettresm’estfermee……N’oubliezpasdemedirecommentvousvousportez,commentMadameetlesenfantsseportent。Jecomptebientotavoirdevosnouvelles;cetteideemesouris,carlesouvenirdevosbontesnes’effacerajamaisdemamemoire,ettantquecesouvenirdurera,lerespectquevousm’avezinspiredureraaussi。Agreez,Monsieur,\"&c。

  Itisprobable,thatevenhersistersandmostintimatefriendsdidnotknowofthisdreadofultimateblindnesswhichbesetheratthisperiod。Whateyesightshehadtospareshereservedfortheuseofherfather。Shedidbutlittleplain-sewing;notmorewritingthancouldbeavoided,andemployedherselfprincipallyinknitting。

  \"April2nd,1845。

  \"Iseeplainlyitisprovedtousthatthereisscarcelyadraughtofunmingledhappinesstobehadinthisworld-’sillnesscomeswith-’smarriage。MaryT。findsherselffree,andonthatpathtoadventureandexertiontowhichshehassolongbeenseekingadmission。Sickness,hardship,dangerareherfellowtravellers——

  herinseparablecompanions。ShemayhavebeenoutofthereachoftheseS。W。N。W。gales,beforetheybegantoblow,ortheymayhavespenttheirfuryonland,andnotruffledtheseamuch。Ifithasbeenotherwise,shehasbeensorelytossed,whilewehavebeensleepinginourbeds,orlyingawakethinkingabouther。Yetthesereal,materialdangers,whenoncepast,leaveinthemindthesatisfactionofhavingstruggledwithdifficulty,andovercomeit。Strength,courage,andexperiencearetheirinvariableresults;whereas,Idoubtwhethersufferingpurelymentalhasanygoodresult,unlessitbetomakeusbycomparisonlesssensitivetophysicalsuffering……Tenyearsago,Ishouldhavelaughedatyouraccountoftheblunderyoumadeinmistakingthebachelordoctorforamarriedman。Ishouldhavecertainlythoughtyouscrupulousover-much,andwonderedhowyoucouldpossiblyregretbeingciviltoadecentindividual,merelybecausehehappenedtobesingle,insteadofdouble。Now,however,Icanperceivethatyourscruplesarefoundedoncommonsense。Iknowthatifwomenwishtoescapethestigmaofhusband-seeking,theymustactandlooklikemarbleorclay——cold,expressionless,bloodless;foreveryappearanceoffeeling,ofjoy,sorrow,friendliness,antipathy,admiration,disgust,arealikeconstruedbytheworldintotheattempttohookahusband。Nevermind!well-meaningwomenhavetheirownconsciencestocomfortthemafterall。Donot,therefore,betoomuchafraidofshowingyourselfasyouare,affectionateandgood-hearted;donottooharshlyrepresssentimentsandfeelingsexcellentinthemselves,becauseyoufearthatsomepuppymayfancythatyouarelettingthemcomeouttofascinatehim;donotcondemnyourselftoliveonlybyhalves,becauseifyoushowedtoomuchanimationsomepragmaticalthinginbreechesmighttakeitintohispatetoimaginethatyoudesignedtodedicateyourlifetohisinanity。Still,acomposed,decent,equabledeportmentisacapitaltreasuretoawoman,andthatyoupossess。Writeagainsoon,forIfeelratherfierce,andwantstrokingdown。\"

  \"June13th,1845。

  \"AstotheMrs-,who,yousay,islikeme,Isomehowfeelnoleaningtoheratall。Ineverdotopeoplewhoaresaidtobelikeme,becauseIhavealwaysanotionthattheyareonlylikemeinthedisagreeable,outside,first-acquaintancepartofmycharacter;inthosepointswhichareobvioustotheordinaryrunofpeople,andwhichIknowarenotpleasing。Yousaysheis’clever’——’acleverperson。’HowIdisliketheterm!Itmeansratherashrewd,veryugly,meddling,talkingwoman……Ifeelreluctanttoleavepapaforasingleday。Hissightdiminishesweekly;andcanitbewonderedatthat,asheseesthemostpreciousofhisfacultiesleavinghim,hisspiritssometimessink?

  Itissohardtofeelthathisfewandscantypleasuresmustallsoongo。Hehasnowthegreatestdifficultyineitherreadingorwriting;andthenhedreadsthestateofdependencetowhichblindnesswillinevitablyreducehim。Hefearsthathewillbenothinginhisparish。Itrytocheerhim;sometimesIsucceedtemporarily,butnoconsolationcanrestorehissight,oratoneforthewantofit。Stillheisneverpeevish;neverimpatient;

  onlyanxiousanddejected。\"

  Forthereasonjustgiven,Charlottedeclinedaninvitationtotheonlyhousetowhichshewasnoweveraskedtocome。Inanswertohercorrespondent’sreplytothisletter,shesays:-

  \"YouthoughtIrefusedyoucoldly,didyou?Itwasaqueersortofcoldness,whenIwouldhavegivenmyearstosayYes,andwasobligedtosayNo。Matters,however,arenowalittlechanged。

  Anneiscomehome,andherpresencecertainlymakesmefeelmoreatliberty。Then,ifallbewell,Iwillcomeandseeyou。TellmeonlywhenImustcome。Mentiontheweekandtheday。Havethekindnessalsotoanswerthefollowingqueries,ifyoucan。HowfarisitfromLeedstoSheffield?Canyougivemeanotionofthecost?Ofcourse,whenIcome,youwillletmeenjoyyourowncompanyinpeace,andnotdragmeoutavisiting。Ihavenodesireatalltoseeyourcurate。IthinkhemustbelikealltheothercuratesIhaveseen;andtheyseemtomeaself-seeking,vain,emptyrace。Atthisblessedmoment,wehavenolessthanthreeoftheminHaworthparish——andthereisnotonetomendanother。Theotherday,theyallthree,accompaniedbyMr。S。,dropped,orratherrushed,inunexpectedlytotea。ItwasMondaybakingday,andIwashotandtired;still,iftheyhadbehavedquietlyanddecently,Iwouldhaveservedthemouttheirteainpeace;buttheybeganglorifyingthemselves,andabusingDissentersinsuchamanner,thatmytemperlostitsbalance,andIpronouncedafewsentencessharplyandrapidly,whichstruckthemalldumb。Papawasgreatlyhorrifiedalso,butIdon’tregretit。\"

  Onherreturnfromthisshortvisittoherfriend,shetravelledwithagentlemanintherailwaycarriage,whosefeaturesandbearingbetrayedhim,inamoment,tobeaFrenchman。Sheventuredtoaskhimifsuchwasnotthecase;and,onhisadmittingit,shefurtherinquiredifhehadnotpassedaconsiderabletimeinGermany,andwasansweredthathehad;herquickeardetectedsomethingofthethickgutturalpronunciation,which,Frenchmensay,theyareabletodiscovereveninthegrandchildrenoftheircountrymenwhohavelivedanytimebeyondtheRhine。CharlottehadretainedherskillinthelanguagebythehabitofwhichshethusspeakstoM。Heger:-

  \"Jecrainsbeaucoupd’oublierlefrancais——j’apprendstouslesjoursunedemiepagedefrancaisparcoeur,etj’aigrandplaisireapprendrecettelecon,VeuillezpresentereMadamel’assurancedemonestime;jecrainsqueMaria-LouiseetClairenem’aientdejeoubliees;maisjevousreverraiunjour;aussitotquej’auraisgagneassezd’argentpouraltereBruxelles,j’yirai。\"

  AndsoherjourneybacktoHaworth,aftertherarepleasureofthisvisittoherfriend,waspleasantlybeguiledbyconversationwiththeFrenchgentleman;andshearrivedathomerefreshedandhappy。Whattofindthere?

  Itwasteno’clockwhenshereachedtheparsonage。Branwellwasthere,unexpectedly,veryill。Hehadcomehomeadayortwobefore,apparentlyforaholiday;inreality,Iimagine,becausesomediscoveryhadbeenmadewhichrenderedhisabsenceimperativelydesirable。ThedayofCharlotte’sreturn,hehadreceivedaletterfromMr-,sternlydismissinghim,intimatingthathisproceedingswerediscovered,characterisingthemasbadbeyondexpression,andcharginghim,onpainofexposure,tobreakoffimmediately,andforever,allcommunicationwitheverymemberofthefamily。

  WhatevermayhavebeenthenatureanddepthofBranwell’ssins,——

  whatevermayhavebeenhistemptation,whateverhisguilt,——thereisnodoubtofthesufferingwhichhisconductentaileduponhispoorfatherandhisinnocentsisters。Thehopesandplanstheyhadcherishedlong,andlabouredhardtofulfil,werecruellyfrustrated;henceforwardtheirdayswereembitteredandthenaturalrestoftheirnightsdestroyedbyhisparoxysmsofremorse。LetusreadofthemiserycausedtohispoorsistersinCharlotte’sownaffectingwords:-

  \"WehavehadsadworkwithBranwell。Hethoughtofnothingbutstunningordrowninghisagonyofmind。Nooneinthishousecouldhaverest;and,atlast,wehavebeenobligedtosendhimfromhomeforaweek,withsomeonetolookafterhim。Hehaswrittentomethismorning,expressingsomesenseofcontrition……butaslongasheremainsathome,Iscarcedarehopeforpeaceinthehouse。Wemustall,Ifear,prepareforaseasonofdistressanddisquietude。WhenIleftyou,IwasstronglyimpressedwiththefeelingthatIwasgoingbacktosorrow。\"

  \"August,1845。

  \"Thingshereathomearemuchasusual;notverybrightasitregardsBranwell,thoughhishealth,andconsequentlyhistemper,havebeensomewhatbetterthislastdayortwo,becauseheisnowFORCEDTOabstain。\"

  \"August18th,1845。

  \"Ihavedelayedwriting,becauseIhavenogoodnewstocommunicate。MyhopesebblowindeedaboutBranwell。Isometimesfearhewillneverbefitformuch。Thelateblowtohisprospectsandfeelingshasquitemadehimreckless。Itisonlyabsolutewantofmeansthatactsasanychecktohim。Oneought,indeed,tohopetotheverylast;andItrytodoso,butoccasionallyhopeinhiscaseseemssofallacious。\"

  \"Nov。4th,1845。

  \"IhopedtobeabletoaskyoutocometoHaworth。ItalmostseemedasifBranwellhadachanceofgettingemployment,andI

  waitedtoknowtheresultofhiseffortsinordertosay,dear-,comeandseeus。Buttheplaceasecretaryshiptoarailwaycommitteeisgiventoanotherperson。Branwellstillremainsathome;andwhileHEishere,YOUshallnotcome。IammoreconfirmedinthatresolutionthemoreIseeofhim。IwishI

  couldsayonewordtoyouinhisfavour,butIcannot。Iwillholdmytongue。WeareallobligedtoyouforyourkindsuggestionaboutLeeds;butIthinkourschoolschemesare,forthepresent,atrest。\"

  \"Dec。31st,1845。

  \"Yousaywell,inspeakingof-,thatnosufferingsaresoawfulasthosebroughtonbydissipation;alas!Iseethetruthofthisobservationdailyproved——and——musthaveaswearyandburdensomealifeofitinwaitingupontheirunhappybrother。Itseemsgrievous,indeed,thatthosewhohavenotsinnedshouldsuffersolargely。\"

  Infact,alltheirlatterdaysblightedwiththepresenceofcruel,shamefulsuffering,——theprematuredeathsoftwoatleastofthesisters,——allthegreatpossibilitiesoftheirearthlylivessnappedshort,——maybedatedfromMidsummer1845。

  ForthelastthreeyearsofBranwell’slife,hetookopiumhabitually,bywayofstunningconscience;hedrankmoreover,wheneverhecouldgettheopportunity。ThereadermaysaythatI

  havementionedhistendencytointemperancelongbefore。Itistrue;butitdidnotbecomehabitual,asfarasIcanlearn,untilafterhewasdismissedfromhistutorship。Hetookopium,becauseitmadehimforgetforatimemoreeffectuallythandrink;and,besides,itwasmoreportable。Inprocuringitheshowedallthecunningoftheopium-eater。Hewouldstealoutwhilethefamilywereatchurch——towhichhehadprofessedhimselftooilltogo——

  andmanagetocajolethevillagedruggistoutofalump;or,itmightbe,thecarrierhadunsuspiciouslybroughthimsomeinapacketfromadistance。Forsometimebeforehisdeathhehadattacksofdeliriumtremensofthemostfrightfulcharacter;hesleptinhisfather’sroom,andhewouldsometimesdeclarethateitherheorhisfathershouldbedeadbeforethemorning。Thetremblingsisters,sickwithfright,wouldimploretheirfathernottoexposehimselftothisdanger;butMr。Bronteisnotimidman,andperhapshefeltthathecouldpossiblyinfluencehissontosomeself-restraint,morebyshowingtrustinhimthanbyshowingfear。Thesistersoftenlistenedforthereportofapistolinthedeadofthenight,tillwatchfuleyeandhearkeningeargrewheavyanddullwiththeperpetualstrainupontheirnerves。InthemorningsyoungBrontewouldsaunterout,saying,withadrunkard’sincontinenceofspeech,\"ThepooroldmanandI

  havehadaterriblenightofit;hedoeshisbest——thepooroldman!butit’salloverwithme。\"

  CHAPTERXIV

  Inthecourseofthissadautumnof1845,anewinterestcameup;

  faint,indeed,andoftenlostsightofinthevividpainandconstantpressureofanxietyrespectingtheirbrother。Inthebiographicalnoticeofhersisters,whichCharlotteprefixedtotheeditionof\"WutheringHeights\"and\"AgnesGrey,\"publishedin1850——apieceofwritingunique,asfarasIknow,initspathosanditspower——shesays:-

  \"Onedayintheautumnof1845,IaccidentallylightedonaMS。

  volumeofverse,inmysisterEmily’shand-writing。Ofcourse,I

  wasnotsurprised,knowingthatshecouldanddidwriteverse:I

  lookeditover,andsomethingmorethansurpriseseizedme——adeepconvictionthatthesewerenotcommoneffusions,noratalllikethepoetrywomengenerallywrite。Ithoughtthemcondensedandterse,vigorousandgenuine。Tomyeartheyhadalsoapeculiarmusic,wild,melancholy,andelevating。MysisterEmilywasnotapersonofdemonstrativecharacter,noroneontherecessesofwhosemindandfeelingseventhosenearestanddearesttohercould,withimpunity,intrudeunlicensed:ittookhourstoreconcilehertothediscoveryIhadmade,anddaystopersuadeherthatsuchpoemsmeritedpublication……Meantime,myyoungersisterquietlyproducedsomeofherowncompositions,intimatingthatsinceEmily’shadgivenmepleasure,Imightliketolookathers。Icouldnotbutbeapartialjudge,yetIthoughtthattheseversestoohadasweetsincerepathosoftheirown。Wehadveryearlycherishedthedreamofonedaybeingauthors。Weagreedtoarrangeasmallselectionofourpoems,and,ifpossible,getthemprinted。Aversetopersonalpublicity,weveiledourownnamesunderthoseofCurrer,Ellis,andActonBell;

  theambiguouschoicebeingdictatedbyasortofconscientiousscrupleatassumingChristiannames,positivelymasculine,whilewedidnotliketodeclareourselveswomen,because——withoutatthetimesuspectingthatourmodeofwritingandthinkingwasnotwhatiscalled’feminine,’wehadavagueimpressionthatauthoressesareliabletobelookedonwithprejudice;wenoticedhowcriticssometimesusefortheirchastisementtheweaponofpersonality,andfortheirreward,aflattery,whichisnottruepraise。Thebringingoutofourlittlebookwashardwork。Aswastobeexpected,neitherwenorourpoemswereatallwanted;

  butforthiswehadbeenpreparedattheoutset;thoughinexperiencedourselves,wehadreadtheexperienceofothers。

  Thegreatpuzzlelayinthedifficultyofgettinganswersofanykindfromthepublisherstowhomweapplied。Beinggreatlyharassedbythisobstacle,IventuredtoapplytotheMessrs。

  Chambers,ofEdinburgh,forawordofadvice;THEYmayhaveforgottenthecircumstance,butIhavenot,forfromthemI

  receivedabriefandbusiness-like,butcivilandsensiblereply,onwhichweacted,andatlastmadeway。\"

  IinquiredfromMr。RobertChambers,andfound,asMissBronteconjectured,thathehadentirelyforgottentheapplicationwhichhadbeenmadetohimandhisbrotherforadvice;norhadtheyanycopyormemorandumofthecorrespondence。

  ThereisanintelligentmanlivinginHaworth,whohasgivenmesomeinterestingparticularsrelatingtothesistersaboutthisperiod。Hesays:-

  \"IhaveknownMissBronte,asMissBronte,alongtime;indeed,eversincetheycametoHaworthin1819。ButIhadnotmuchacquaintancewiththefamilytillabout1843,whenIbegantodoalittleinthestationeryline。NothingofthatkindcouldbehadnearerthanKeighleybeforeIbegan。Theyusedtobuyagreatdealofwritingpaper,andIusedtowonderwhatevertheydidwithsomuch。IsometimesthoughttheycontributedtotheMagazines。

  WhenIwasoutofstock,Iwasalwaysafraidoftheircoming;theyseemedsodistressedaboutit,ifIhadnone。IhavewalkedtoHalifaxadistanceoftenmilesmanyatime,forhalfareamofpaper,forfearofbeingwithoutitwhentheycame。Icouldnotbuymoreatatimeforwantofcapital。Iwasalwaysshortofthat。IdidsolikethemtocomewhenIhadanythingforthem;

  theyweresomuchdifferenttoanybodyelse;sogentleandkind,andsoveryquiet。Theynevertalkedmuch。Charlottesometimeswouldsitandinquireaboutourcircumstancessokindlyandfeelingly!……ThoughIamapoorworkingmanwhichIhaveneverfelttobeanydegradation,Icouldtalkwithherwiththegreatestfreedom。Ialwaysfeltquiteathomewithher。ThoughI

  neverhadanyschooleducation,Ineverfeltthewantofitinhercompany。\"

  Thepublisherstowhomshefinallymadeasuccessfulapplicationfortheproductionof\"Currer,Ellis,andActonBell’spoems,\"

  wereMessrs。AylottandJones,PaternosterRow。Mr。Aylotthaskindlyplacedtheletterswhichshewrotetothemonthesubjectatmydisposal。ThefirstisdatedJanuary28th,1846,andinitsheinquiresiftheywillpublishonevolumeoctavoofpoems;ifnotattheirownrisk,ontheauthor’saccount。Itissigned\"C。

  Bronte。\"Theymusthaverepliedprettyspeedily,foronJanuary31stshewritesagain:-

  \"GENTLEMEN,\"SinceyouagreetoundertakethepublicationoftheworkrespectingwhichIappliedtoyou,Ishouldwishnowtoknow,assoonaspossible,thecostofpaperandprinting。Iwillthensendthenecessaryremittance,togetherwiththemanuscript。I

  shouldlikeittobeprintedinoneoctavovolume,ofthesamequalityofpaperandsizeoftypeasMoxon’slasteditionofWordsworth。Thepoemswilloccupy,Ishouldthink,from200to250pages。Theyarenottheproductionofaclergyman,noraretheyexclusivelyofareligiouscharacter;butIpresumethesecircumstanceswillbeimmaterial。Itwill,perhaps,benecessarythatyoushouldseethemanuscript,inordertocalculateaccuratelytheexpenseofpublication;inthatcaseIwillsenditimmediately。Ishouldlike,however,previously,tohavesomeideaoftheprobablecost;andif,fromwhatIhavesaid,youcanmakearoughcalculationonthesubject,Ishouldbegreatlyobligedtoyou。\"

  Inhernextletter,February6th,shesays:-

  \"Youwillperceivethatthepoemsaretheworkofthreepersons,relatives——theirseparatepiecesaredistinguishedbytheirrespectivesignatures。\"

  ShewritesagainonFebruary15th;andonthe16thshesays:-

  \"TheMS。willcertainlyformathinnervolumethanIhadanticipated。IcannotnameanothermodelwhichIshouldlikeitpreciselytoresemble,yet,Ithink,aduodecimoform,andasomewhatreduced,thoughstillCLEARtype,wouldbepreferable。I

  onlystipulateforCLEARtype,nottoosmall,andgoodpaper。\"

  OnFebruary21stsheselectsthe\"longprimertype\"forthepoems,andwillremit31L。10S。inafewdays。

  Minuteasthedetailsconveyedinthesenotesare,theyarenottrivial,becausetheyaffordsuchstrongindicationsofcharacter。

  Ifthevolumewastobepublishedattheirownrisk,itwasnecessarythatthesisterconductingthenegotiationshouldmakeherselfacquaintedwiththedifferentkindsoftype,andthevarioussizesofbooks。Accordinglysheboughtasmallvolume,fromwhichtolearnallshecouldonthesubjectofpreparationforthepress。Nohalf-knowledge——notrustingtootherpeoplefordecisionswhichshecouldmakeforherself;andyetagenerousandfullconfidence,notmisplaced,inthethoroughprobityofMessrs。

  AylottandJones。Thecautioninascertainingtheriskbeforeembarkingintheenterprise,andthepromptpaymentofthemoneyrequired,evenbeforeitcouldbesaidtohaveassumedtheshapeofadebt,werebothpartsofaself-reliantandindependentcharacter。Self-containedalsowasshe。Duringthewholetimethatthevolumeofpoemswasinthecourseofpreparationandpublication,nowordwaswrittentellinganyone,outofthehouseholdcircle,whatwasinprogress。

  Ihavehadsomeofthelettersplacedinmyhands,whichsheaddressedtoheroldschool-mistress,MissW。Theybeginalittlebeforethistime。Actingontheconviction,whichIhaveallalongentertained,thatwhereCharlotteBronte’sownwordscouldbeused,noothersoughttotaketheirplace,Ishallmakeextractsfromthisseries,accordingtotheirdates。

  \"Jan。30th,1846。

  \"MYDEARMISSW-,\"Ihavenotyetpaidmyvisitto-;itis,indeed,morethanayearsinceIwasthere,butIfrequentlyhearfromE。,andshedidnotfailtotellmethatyouweregoneintoWorcestershire;shewasunable,however,togivemeyourexactaddress。HadIknownit,Ishouldhavewrittentoyoulongsince。Ithoughtyouwouldwonderhowweweregettingon,whenyouheardoftherailwaypanic;andyoumaybesurethatIamverygladtobeabletoansweryourkindinquiriesbytheassurancethatoursmallcapitalisasyetundiminished。TheYorkandMidlandis,asyousay,averygoodline,yet,Iconfesstoyou,Ishouldwish,formyownpart,tobewiseintime。Icannotthinkthateventheverybestlineswillcontinueformanyyearsattheirpresentpremiums;andIhavebeenmostanxiousforustoselloursharesereitbetoolate,andtosecuretheproceedsinsomesafer,if,forthepresent,lessprofitableinvestment。Icannot,however,persuademysisterstoregardtheaffairpreciselyfrommypointofview;

  andIfeelasifIwouldratherruntheriskoflossthanhurtEmily’sfeelingsbyactingindirectoppositiontoheropinion。

  Shemanagedinamosthandsomeandablemannerforme,whenIwasinBrussels,andpreventedbydistancefromlookingaftermyowninterests;therefore,Iwilllethermanagestill,andtaketheconsequences。Disinterestedandenergeticshecertainlyis;andifshebenotquitesotractableoropentoconvictionasIcouldwish,Imustrememberperfectionisnotthelotofhumanity;andaslongaswecanregardthosewelove,andtowhomwearecloselyallied,withprofoundandnever-shakenesteem,itisasmallthingthattheyshouldvexusoccasionallybywhatappeartousunreasonableandheadstrongnotions。

  \"You,mydearMissW-,know,fullaswellasIdo,thevalueofsisters’affectiontoeachother;thereisnothinglikeitinthisworld,Ibelieve,whentheyarenearlyequalinage,andsimilarineducation,tastes,andsentiments。YouaskaboutBranwell;heneverthinksofseekingemployment,andIbegintofearthathehasrenderedhimselfincapableoffillinganyrespectablestationinlife;besides,ifmoneywereathisdisposal,hewoulduseitonlytohisowninjury;thefacultyofself-governmentis,Ifear,almostdestroyedinhim。YouaskmeifIdonotthinkthatmenarestrangebeings?Ido,indeed。Ihaveoftenthoughtso;andI

  think,too,thatthemodeofbringingthemupisstrange:theyarenotsufficientlyguardedfromtemptation。Girlsareprotectedasiftheyweresomethingveryfrailorsillyindeed,whileboysareturnedlooseontheworld,asifthey,ofallbeingsinexistence,werethewisestandleastliabletobeledastray。I

  amgladyoulikeBroomsgrove,though,Idaresay,therearefewplacesyouwouldNOTlike,withMrs。M。foracompanion。IalwaysfeelapeculiarsatisfactionwhenIhearofyourenjoyingyourself,becauseitprovesthattherereallyissuchathingasretributivejusticeeveninthisworld。Youworkedhard;youdeniedyourselfallpleasure,almostallrelaxation,inyouryouth,andintheprimeoflife;nowyouarefree,andthatwhileyouhavestill,Ihope,manyyearsofvigourandhealthinwhichyoucanenjoyfreedom。Besides,Ihaveanotherandveryegotisticalmotiveforbeingpleased;itseemsthateven’alonewoman’canbehappy,aswellascherishedwivesandproudmothers。

  Iamgladofthat。Ispeculatemuchontheexistenceofunmarriedandnever-to-be-marriedwomennow-a-days;andIhavealreadygottothepointofconsideringthatthereisnomorerespectablecharacteronthisearththananunmarriedwoman,whomakesherownwaythroughlifequietly,perseveringly,withoutsupportofhusbandorbrother;andwho,havingattainedtheageofforty-fiveorupwards,retainsinherpossessionawell-regulatedmind,adispositiontoenjoysimplepleasures,andfortitudetosupportinevitablypains,sympathywiththesufferingsofothers,andwillingnesstorelievewantasfarashermeansextend。\"

  DuringthetimethatthenegotiationwithMessrs。AylottandCo。

  wasgoingon,Charlottewenttovisitheroldschool-friend,withwhomshewasinsuchhabitsofconfidentialintimacy;butneitherthennorafterwards,didsheeverspeaktoherofthepublicationofthepoems;nevertheless,thisyoungladysuspectedthatthesisterswroteforMagazines;andinthisideashewasconfirmedwhen,ononeofhervisitstoHaworth,shesawAnnewithanumberof\"Chambers’sJournal,\"andagentlesmileofpleasurestealingoverherplacidfaceassheread。

  \"Whatisthematter?\"askedthefriend。\"Whydoyousmile?\"

  \"OnlybecauseIseetheyhaveinsertedoneofmypoems,\"wasthequietreply;andnotawordmorewassaidonthesubject。

  TothisfriendCharlotteaddressedthefollowingletters:-

  \"March3rd,1846。

  \"Ireachedhomealittleaftertwoo’clock,allsafeandrightyesterday;Ifoundpapaverywell;hissightmuchthesame。EmilyandAnneweregoingtoKeighleytomeetme;unfortunately,Ihadreturnedbytheoldroad,whiletheyweregonebythenew,andwemissedeachother。Theydidnotgethometillhalf-pastfour,andwerecaughtintheheavyshowerofrainwhichfellintheafternoon。IamsorrytosayAnnehastakenalittlecoldinconsequence,butIhopeshewillsoonbewell。PapawasmuchcheeredbymyreportofMr。C。’sopinion,andofoldMrs。E。’sexperience;butIcouldperceivehecaughtgladlyattheideaofdeferringtheoperationafewmonthslonger。IwentintotheroomwhereBranwellwas,tospeaktohim,aboutanhourafterIgothome:itwasveryforcedworktoaddresshim。Imighthavesparedmyselfthetrouble,ashetooknonotice,andmadenoreply;hewasstupified。Myfearswerenotinvain。IhearthathegotasovereignwhileIhavebeenaway,underpretenceofpayingapressingdebt;hewentimmediatelyandchangeditatapublic-house,andhasemployeditaswastobeexpected——

  concludedheraccountbysayinghewasa’hopelessbeing;’itistootrue。Inhispresentstateitisscarcelypossibletostayintheroomwhereheis。WhatthefuturehasinstoreIdonotknow。\"

  \"March31st,1846。

  \"OurpooroldservantTabbyhadasortoffit,afortnightsince,butisnearlyrecoverednow。Martha\"thegirltheyhadtoassistpooroldTabby,andwhoremainsstillthefaithfulservantattheparsonage,\"isillwithaswellinginherknee,andobligedtogohome。Ifearitwillbelongbeforesheisinworkingconditionagain。Ireceivedthenumberofthe’Record’yousent……I

  readD’Aubigne’sletter。Itisclever,andinwhathesaysaboutCatholicismverygood。TheEvangelicalAlliancepartisnotverypracticable,yetcertainlyitismoreinaccordancewiththespiritoftheGospeltopreachunityamongChristiansthantoinculcatemutualintoleranceandhatred。IamverygladIwentto——whenIdid,forthechangedweatherhassomewhatchangedmyhealthandstrengthsince。Howdoyougeton?Ilongformildsouthandwestwinds。Iamthankfulpapacontinuesprettywell,thoughoftenmadeverymiserablebyBranwell’swretchedconduct。

  THERE——thereisnochangebutfortheworse。\"

  Meanwhiletheprintingofthevolumeofpoemswasquietlyproceeding。Aftersomeconsultationanddeliberation,thesistershaddeterminedtocorrecttheproofsthemselves,UptoMarch28ththepublishershadaddressedtheircorrespondentasC。Bronte,Esq。;butatthistimesome\"littlemistakeoccurred,\"andshedesiredMessrs。AylottandCo。infuturetodirecttoherrealaddress,\"MISSBronte,\"&c。Shehad,however,evidentlyleftittobeimpliedthatshewasnotactingonherownbehalf,butasagentfortherealauthors,sinceinanotedatedApril6th,shemakesaproposalonbehalfof\"C。,E。,andA。Bell,\"whichistothefollowingeffect,thattheyarepreparingforthepressaworkoffiction,consistingofthreedistinctandunconnectedtales,whichmaybepublishedeithertogether,asaworkofthreevolumes,oftheordinarynovelsize,orseparately,assinglevolumes,asmaybedeemedmostadvisable。Shestates,inaddition,thatitisnottheirintentiontopublishthesetalesontheirownaccount;butthattheauthorsdirecthertoaskMessrs。

  AylottandCo。whethertheywouldbedisposedtoundertakethework,afterhaving,ofcourse,bydueinspectionoftheMS。,ascertainedthatitscontentsaresuchastowarrantanexpectationofsuccess。Tothisletterofinquirythepublishersrepliedspeedily,andthetenoroftheiranswermaybegatheredfromCharlotte’s,datedApril11th。

  \"Ibegtothankyou,inthenameofC。,E。,andA。Bell,foryourobligingofferofadvice。Iwillavailmyselfofit,torequestinformationontwoorthreepoints。Itisevidentthatunknownauthorshavegreatdifficultiestocontendwith,beforetheycansucceedinbringingtheirworksbeforethepublic。Canyougivemeanyhintastothewayinwhichthesedifficultiesarebestmet?Forinstance,inthepresentcase,whereaworkoffictionisinquestion,inwhatformwouldapublisherbemostlikelytoaccepttheMS。?Whetherofferedasaworkofthreevols。,orastaleswhichmightbepublishedinnumbers,orascontributionstoaperiodical?

  \"Whatpublisherswouldbemostlikelytoreceivefavourablyaproposalofthisnature?

  \"WoulditsufficetoWRITEtoapublisheronthesubject,orwoulditbenecessarytohaverecoursetoapersonalinterview?

  \"Youropinionandadviceonthesethreepoints,oronanyotherwhichyourexperiencemaysuggestasimportant,wouldbeesteemedbyusasafavour。\"

  Itisevidentfromthewholetenorofthiscorrespondence,thatthetruthfulnessandprobityofthefirmofpublisherswithwhomshehadtodealinthisherfirstliteraryventure,werestronglyimpresseduponhermind,andwasfollowedbytheinevitableconsequenceofrelianceontheirsuggestions。Andtheprogressofthepoemswasnotunreasonablylengthyorlongdrawnout。OnApril20thshewritestodesirethatthreecopiesmaybesenttoher,andthatMessrs。Aylottwilladviseherastothereviewerstowhomcopiesoughttobesent。

  Igivethenextletterasillustratingtheideasofthesegirlsastowhatperiodicalreviewsornoticesledpublicopinion。

  \"Thepoemstobeneatlydoneupincloth。Havethegoodnesstosendcopiesandadvertisements,ASEARLYASPOSSIBLE,toeachoftheundermentionedperiodicals。

  \"’Colburn’sNewMonthlyMagazine。’

  \"’Bentley’sMagazine。’

  \"’Hood’sMagazine。’

  \"’Jerrold’sShillingMagazine。’

  \"’Blackwood’sMagazine。’

  \"’TheEdinburghReview。’

  \"’Tait’sEdinburghMagazine。’

  \"’TheDublinUniversityMagazine。’

  \"Alsotothe’DailyNews’andtothe’Britannia’papers。

  \"Ifthereareanyotherperiodicalstowhichyouhavebeeninthehabitofsendingcopiesofworks,letthembesuppliedalsowithcopies。IthinkthoseIhavementionedwillsufficeforadvertising。\"

  Incompliancewiththislatterrequest,Messrs。Aylottsuggestthatcopiesandadvertisementsoftheworkshouldbesenttothe\"Athenaeum,\"\"LiteraryGazette,\"\"Critic,\"and\"Times;\"butinherreplyMissBrontesays,thatshethinkstheperiodicalsshefirstmentionedwillbesufficientforadvertisinginatpresent,astheauthorsdonotwishtolayoutalargersumthantwopoundsinadvertising,esteemingthesuccessofaworkdependentmoreonthenoticeitreceivesfromperiodicalsthanonthequantityofadvertisements。Incaseofanynoticeofthepoemsappearing,whetherfavourableorotherwise,Messrs。AylottandCo。arerequestedtosendherthenameandnumberofthoseperiodicalsinwhichsuchnoticesappear;asotherwise,sinceshehasnottheopportunityofseeingperiodicalsregularly,shemaymissreadingthecritique。\"Shouldthepoemsberemarkeduponfavourably,itismyintentiontoappropriateafurthersumforadvertisements。

  If,ontheotherhand,theyshouldpassunnoticedorbecondemned,Iconsideritwouldbequiteuselesstoadvertise,asthereisnothing,eitherinthetitleofthework,orthenamesoftheauthors,toattractattentionfromasingleindividual。\"

  IsupposethelittlevolumeofpoemswaspublishedsometimeabouttheendofMay,1846。Itstoleintolife;someweekspassedover,withoutthemightymurmuringpublicdiscoveringthatthreemorevoiceswereutteringtheirspeech。And,meanwhile,thecourseofexistencemoveddrearilyalongfromdaytodaywiththeanxioussisters,whomusthaveforgottentheirsenseofauthorshipinthevitalcaregnawingattheirhearts。OnJune17th,Charlottewrites:-

  \"Branwelldeclaresthatheneithercannorwilldoanythingforhimself;goodsituationshavebeenofferedhim,forwhich,byafortnight’swork,hemighthavequalifiedhimself,buthewilldonothingexceptdrinkandmakeusallwretched。\"

  Inthe\"Athenaeum\"ofJuly4th,undertheheadofpoetryforthemillion,cameashortreviewofthepoemsofC。,E。,andA。Bell。

  ThereviewerassignstoEllisthehighestrankofthethree\"brothers,\"ashesupposesthemtobe;hecallsEllis\"afine,quaintspirit;\"andspeaksof\"anevidentpowerofwingthatmayreachheightsnothereattempted。\"Again,withsomedegreeofpenetration,thereviewersays,thatthepoemsofEllis\"conveyanimpressionoforiginalitybeyondwhathiscontributionstothesevolumesembody。\"CurrerisplacedmidwaybetweenEllisandActon。

  Butthereislittleinthereviewtostrainout,atthisdistanceoftime,asworthpreserving。Still,wecanfancywithwhatinterestitwasreadatHaworthParsonage,andhowthesisterswouldendeavourtofindoutreasonsforopinions,orhintsforthefutureguidanceoftheirtalents。

  IcallparticularattentiontothefollowingletterofCharlotte’s,datedJuly10th,1846。Towhomitwaswritten,mattersnot;butthewholesomesenseofdutyinit——thesenseofthesupremacyofthatdutywhichGod,inplacingusinfamilies,haslaidoutforus,seemstodeserveespecialregardinthesedays。

  \"Iseeyouareinadilemma,andoneofapeculiaranddifficultnature。Twopathsliebeforeyou;youconscientiouslywishtochoosetherightone,eventhoughitbethemoststeep,strait,andrugged;butyoudonotknowwhichistherightone;youcannotdecidewhetherdutyandreligioncommandyoutogooutintothecoldandfriendlessworld,andtheretoearnyourlivingbygovernessdrudgery,orwhethertheyenjoinyourcontinuedstaywithyouragedmother,neglecting,FORTHEPRESENT,everyprospectofindependencyforyourself,andputtingupwithdailyinconvenience,sometimesevenwithprivations。Icanwellimagine,thatitisnexttoimpossibleforyoutodecideforyourselfinthismatter,soIwilldecideitforyou。Atleast,I

  willtellyouwhatismyearnestconvictiononthesubject;Iwillshowyoucandidlyhowthequestionstrikesme。Therightpathisthatwhichnecessitatesthegreatestsacrificeofself-interest——

  whichimpliesthegreatestgoodtoothers;andthispath,steadilyfollowed,willlead,Ibelieve,intime,toprosperityandtohappiness,thoughitmayseem,attheoutset,totendquiteinacontrarydirection。Yourmotherisbotholdandinfirm;oldandinfirmpeoplehavebutfewsourcesofhappiness——feweralmostthanthecomparativelyyoungandhealthycanconceive;todeprivethemofoneoftheseiscruel。Ifyourmotherismorecomposedwhenyouarewithher,staywithher。Ifshewouldbeunhappyincaseyoulefther,staywithher。Itwillnotapparently,asfarasshort-sightedhumanitycansee,beforyouradvantagetoremainat-,norwillyoubepraisedandadmiredforremainingathometocomfortyourmother;yet,probably,yourownconsciencewillapprove,andifitdoes,staywithher。IrecommendyoutodowhatIamtryingtodomyself。\"

  Theremainderofthisletterisonlyinterestingtothereaderasitconveysaperemptorydisclaimerofthereportthatthewriterwasengagedtobemarriedtoherfather’scurate——theverysamegentlemantowhom,eightyearsafterwards,shewasunited;andwho,probably,evennow,althoughshewasunconsciousofthefact,hadbegunhisservicetoher,inthesametenderandfaithfulspiritasthatinwhichJacobservedforRachel。Othersmayhavenoticedthis,thoughshedidnot。

  Afewmorenotesremainofhercorrespondence\"onbehalfoftheMessrs。Bell\"withMr。Aylott。OnJuly15thshesays,\"Isuppose,asyouhavenotwritten,noothernoticeshaveyetappeared,norhasthedemandfortheworkincreased。WillyoufavourmewithalinestatingwhetherANY,orhowmanycopieshaveyetbeensold?\"

  Butfew,Ifear;for,threedayslater,shewrotethefollowing:-

  \"TheMessrs。Belldesiremetothankyouforyoursuggestionrespectingtheadvertisements。Theyagreewithyouthat,sincetheseasonisunfavourable,advertisinghadbetterbedeferred。

  Theyareobligedtoyoufortheinformationrespectingthenumberofcopiessold。\"

  OnJuly23rdshewritestotheMessrs。Aylott:-

  \"TheMessrs。BellwouldbeobligedtoyoutoposttheenclosednoteinLondon。Itisananswertotheletteryouforwarded,whichcontainedanapplicationfortheirautographsfromapersonwhoprofessedtohavereadandadmiredtheirpoems。IthinkI

  beforeintimated,thattheMessrs。Bellaredesirousforthepresentofremainingunknown,forwhichreasontheypreferhavingthenotepostedinLondontosendingitdirect,inordertoavoidgivinganycluetoresidence,oridentitybypost-mark,&c。\"

  Oncemore,inSeptember,shewrites,\"Astheworkhasreceivednofurthernoticefromanyperiodical,Ipresumethedemandforithasnotgreatlyincreased。\"

  Inthebiographicalnoticeofhersisters,shethusspeaksofthefailureofthemodesthopesvestedinthispublication。\"Thebookwasprinted;itisscarcelyknown,andallofitthatmeritstobeknownarethepoemsofEllisBell。

  \"ThefixedconvictionIheld,andhold,oftheworthofthesepoems,hasnot,indeed,receivedtheconfirmationofmuchfavourablecriticism;butImustretainitnotwithstanding。\"

  Footnotes:

  {1}Areviewerpointedoutthediscrepancybetweentheagetwenty-sevenyearsassigned,onthemuraltablet,toAnneBronteatthetimeofherdeathin1849,andtheallegedfactthatshewasbornatThornton,fromwhichplaceMr。BronteremovedonFebruary25th,1820。Iwasawareofthediscrepancy,butIdidnotthinkitofsufficientconsequencetoberectifiedbyanexaminationoftheregisterofbirths。Mr。Bronte’sownwords,onwhichIgroundedmystatementastothetimeofAnneBronte’sbirth,areasfollows:-

  \"InThornton,Charlotte,PatrickBranwell,EmilyJane,andAnnewereborn。\"AndsuchoftheinhabitantsofHaworthashavespokenonthesubjectsaythatallthechildrenofMr。andMrs。BrontewerebornbeforetheyremovedtoHaworth。Thereisprobablysomemistakeintheinscriptiononthetablet。

  {2}InthemonthofApril1858,aneatmuraltabletwaserectedwithintheCommunionrailingoftheChurchatHaworth,tothememoryofthedeceasedmembersoftheBrontefamily。ThetabletisofwhiteCarraramarbleonagroundofdove-colouredmarble,withacornicesurmountedbyanornamentalpedimentofchastedesign。Betweenthebracketswhichsupportthetablet,isinscribedthesacredmonogramI。H。S。,inoldEnglishletters。

  {3}Withregardtomyownopinionofthepresentschool,Icanonlygiveitasformedafterwhatwasmerelyacursoryandsuperficialinspection,asIdonotbelievethatIwasinthehouseabovehalfanhour;butitwasandisthis,——thatthehouseatCastertonseemedthoroughlyhealthyandwellkept,andissituatedinalovelyspot;thatthepupilslookedbright,happy,andwell,andthattheladysuperintendentwasamostprepossessinglookingperson,who,onmymakingsomeinquiryastotheaccomplishmentstaughttothepupils,saidthattheschemeofeducationwasmateriallychangedsincetheschoolhadbeenopened。

  Iwouldhaveinsertedthistestimonyinthefirstedition,hadI

  believedthatanyweightcouldbeattachedtoanopinionformedonsuchslightandsuperficialgrounds。

  {4}\"JaneEyre,\"vol。I。,page20。

  {5}Scottdescribesthesport,\"ShootingatthePopinjay,\"\"asanancientgameformerlypractisedwitharchery,butatthisperiod1679withfirearms。Thiswasthefigureofabirddeckedwithparti-colouredfeathers,soastoresembleapopinjayorparrot。

  Itwassuspendedtoapole,andservedforamarkatwhichthecompetitorsdischargedtheirfuseesandcarbinesinrotation,atthedistanceofseventypaces。HewhoseballbroughtdownthemarkheldtheproudtitleofCaptainofthePopinjayfortheremainderoftheday,andwasusuallyescortedintriumphtothemostrespectablechange-houseintheneighbourhood,wheretheeveningwasclosedwithconviviality,conductedunderhisauspices,andifhewasabletomaintainit,athisexpense。\"——OldMortality。

  {6}InthisGutenbergeTextM。Heger’scommentsaregivenin{}

  atapproximatelytheplacewheretheyoccur——DP。

  EndTheLifeofCharlotteBronte-Volume2

  byElizabethClaghornGaskellCONTENTSOFVOLUMETWO

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