V。
ITwaslatenow,nearlyhalf-pasttwo,andtheprincedidnotfindGeneralEpanchinathome。Heleftacard,anddeterminedtolookupColia,whohadaroomatasmallhotelnear。Coliawasnotin,buthewasinformedthathemightbebackshortly,andhadleftwordthatifhewerenotinbyhalf-pastthreeitwastobeunderstoodthathehadgonetoPavlofsktoGeneralEpanchin’s,andwoulddinethere。Theprincedecidedtowaittillhalf-pastthree,andorderedsomedinner。Athalf-pastthreetherewasnosignofColia。Theprincewaiteduntilfouro’clock,andthenstrolledoffmechanicallywhereverhisfeetshouldcarryhim。
InearlysummerthereareoftenmagnificentdaysinSt。
Petersburg——bright,hotandstill。Thishappenedtobesuchaday。
Forsometimetheprincewanderedaboutwithoutaimorobject。Hedidnotknowthetownwell。Hestoppedtolookabouthimonbridges,atstreetcorners。Heenteredaconfectioner’sshoptorest,once。Hewasinastateofnervousexcitementandperturbation;henoticednothingandnoone;andhefeltacravingforsolitude,tobealonewithhisthoughtsandhisemotions,andtogivehimselfuptothempassively。Heloathedtheideaoftryingtoanswerthequestionsthatwouldriseupinhisheartandmind。\"Iamnottoblameforallthis,\"hethoughttohimself,halfunconsciously。
Towardssixo’clockhefoundhimselfatthestationoftheTsarsko-Selskirailway。
Hewastiredofsolitudenow;anewrushoffeelingtookholdofhim,andafloodoflightchasedawaythegloom,foramoment,fromhissoul。HetookatickettoPavlofsk,anddeterminedtogetthereasfastashecould,butsomethingstoppedhim;areality,andnotafantasy,ashewasinclinedtothinkit。Hewasabouttotakehisplaceinacarriage,whenhesuddenlythrewawayhisticketandcameoutagain,disturbedandthoughtful。A
fewmomentslater,inthestreet,herecalledsomethingthathadbotheredhimalltheafternoon。Hecaughthimselfengagedinastrangeoccupationwhichhenowrecollectedhehadtakenupatoddmomentsforthelastfewhours——itwaslookingaboutallaroundhimforsomething,hedidnotknowwhat。Hehadforgottenitforawhile,halfanhourorso,andnow,suddenly,theuneasysearchhadrecommenced。
Buthehadhardlybecomeconsciousofthiscuriousphenomenon,whenanotherrecollectionsuddenlyswamthroughhisbrain,interestinghimforthemoment,exceedingly。Herememberedthatthelasttimehehadbeenengagedinlookingaroundhimfortheunknownsomething,hewasstandingbeforeacutler’sshop,inthewindowofwhichwereexposedcertaingoodsforsale。Hewasextremelyanxiousnowtodiscoverwhetherthisshopandthesegoodsreallyexisted,orwhetherthewholethinghadbeenahallucination。
Hefeltinaverycuriousconditiontoday,aconditionsimilartothatwhichhadprecededhisfitsinbygoneyears。
Herememberedthatatsuchtimeshehadbeenparticularlyabsentminded,andcouldnotdiscriminatebetweenobjectsandpersonsunlessheconcentratedspecialattentionuponthem。
Herememberedseeingsomethinginthewindowmarkedatsixtycopecks。Therefore,iftheshopexistedandifthisobjectwerereallyinthewindow,itwouldprovethathehadbeenabletoconcentratehisattentiononthisarticleatamomentwhen,asageneralrule,hisabsenceofmindwouldhavebeentoogreattoadmitofanysuchconcentration;infact,veryshortlyafterhehadlefttherailwaystationinsuchastateofagitation。
Sohewalkedbacklookingabouthimfortheshop,andhisheartbeatwithintolerableimpatience。Ah!herewastheveryshop,andtherewasthearticlemarked60cop。\"\"Ofcourse,it’ssixtycopecks,\"hethought,andcertainlyworthnomore。\"Thisideaamusedhimandhelaughed。
Butitwasahystericallaugh;hewasfeelingterriblyoppressed。
Herememberedclearlythatjusthere,standingbeforethiswindow,hehadsuddenlyturnedround,justasearlierinthedayhehadturnedandfoundthedreadfuleyesofRogojinfixeduponhim。Convinced,therefore,thatinthisrespectatalleventshehadbeenundernodelusion,helefttheshopandwenton。
Thismustbethoughtout;itwasclearthattherehadbeennohallucinationatthestationthen,either;somethinghadactuallyhappenedtohim,onbothoccasions;therewasnodoubtofit。Butagainaloathingforallmentalexertionovermasteredhim;hewouldnotthinkitoutnow,hewouldputitoffandthinkofsomethingelse。Herememberedthatduringhisepilepticfits,orratherimmediatelyprecedingthem,hehadalwaysexperiencedamomentortwowhenhiswholeheart,andmind,andbodyseemedtowakeuptovigourandlight;whenhebecamefilledwithjoyandhope,andallhisanxietiesseemedtobesweptawayforever;
thesemomentswerebutpresentiments,asitwere,oftheonefinalseconditwasnevermorethanasecondinwhichthefitcameuponhim。Thatsecond,ofcourse,wasinexpressible。Whenhisattackwasover,andtheprincereflectedonhissymptoms,heusedtosaytohimself:\"Thesemoments,shortastheyare,whenI
feelsuchextremeconsciousnessofmyself,andconsequentlymoreoflifethanatothertimes,aredueonlytothedisease——tothesuddenruptureofnormalconditions。Thereforetheyarenotreallyahigherkindoflife,butalower。\"Thisreasoning,however,seemedtoendinaparadox,andleadtothefurtherconsideration:——\"Whatmatterthoughitbeonlydisease,anabnormaltensionofthebrain,ifwhenIrecallandanalyzethemoment,itseemstohavebeenoneofharmonyandbeautyinthehighestdegree——aninstantofdeepestsensation,overflowingwithunboundedjoyandrapture,ecstaticdevotion,andcompletestlife?\"Vaguethoughthissounds,itwasperfectlycomprehensibletoMuishkin,thoughheknewthatitwasbutafeebleexpressionofhissensations。
Thattherewas,indeed,beautyandharmonyinthoseabnormalmoments,thattheyreallycontainedthehighestsynthesisoflife,hecouldnotdoubt,norevenadmitthepossibilityofdoubt。Hefeltthattheywerenotanalogoustothefantasticandunrealdreamsduetointoxicationbyhashish,opiumorwine。Ofthathecouldjudge,whentheattackwasover。Theseinstantswerecharacterized——todefineitinaword——byanintensequickeningofthesenseofpersonality。Since,inthelastconsciousmomentprecedingtheattack,hecouldsaytohimself,withfullunderstandingofhiswords:\"Iwouldgivemywholelifeforthisoneinstant,\"thendoubtlesstohimitreallywasworthalifetime。Fortherest,hethoughtthedialecticalpartofhisargumentoflittleworth;hesawonlytooclearlythattheresultoftheseecstaticmomentswasstupefaction,mentaldarkness,idiocy。Noargumentwaspossibleonthatpoint。Hisconclusion,hisestimateofthe\"moment,\"doubtlesscontainedsomeerror,yettherealityofthesensationtroubledhim。What’smoreunanswerablethanafact?Andthisfacthadoccurred。Theprincehadconfessedunreservedlytohimselfthatthefeelingofintensebeatitudeinthatcrowdedmomentmadethemomentworthalifetime。\"Ifeelthen,\"hesaidonedaytoRogojininMoscow,\"IfeelthenasifI
understoodthoseamazingwords——’Thereshallbenomoretime。’\"
Andheaddedwithasmile:\"NodoubttheepilepticMahometreferstothatsamemomentwhenhesaysthathevisitedallthedwellingsofAllah,inlesstimethanwasneededtoemptyhispitcherofwater。\"Yes,hehadoftenmetRogojininMoscow,andmanywerethesubjectstheydiscussed。\"HetoldmeIhadbeenabrothertohim,\"thoughttheprince。\"Hesaidsotoday,forthefirsttime。\"
HewassittingintheSummerGardenonaseatunderatree,andhisminddweltonthematter。Itwasaboutseveno’clock,andtheplacewasempty。Thestiflingatmosphereforetoldastorm,andtheprincefeltacertaincharminthecontemplativemoodwhichpossessedhim。Hefoundpleasure,too,ingazingattheexteriorobjectsaroundhim。Allthetimehewastryingtoforgetsomething,toescapefromsomeideathathauntedhim;butmelancholythoughtscameback,thoughhewouldsowillinglyhaveescapedfromthem。Herememberedsuddenlyhowhehadbeentalkingtothewaiter,whilehedined,aboutarecentlycommittedmurderwhichthewholetownwasdiscussing,andashethoughtofitsomethingstrangecameoverhim。Hewasseizedallatoncebyaviolentdesire,almostatemptation,againstwhichhestroveinvain。
Hejumpedupandwalkedoffasfastashecouldtowardsthe\"PetersburgSide。\"[OneofthequartersofSt。Petersburg。]Hehadaskedsomeone,alittlewhilebefore,toshowhimwhichwasthePetersburgSide,onthebanksoftheNeva。Hehadnotgonethere,however;andheknewverywellthatitwasofnousetogonow,forhewouldcertainlynotfindLebedeff’srelationathome。
Hehadtheaddress,butshemustcertainlyhavegonetoPavlofsk,orColiawouldhavelethimknow。Ifheweretogonow,itwouldmerelybeoutofcuriosity,butasudden,newideahadcomeintohishead。
However,itwassomethingtomoveonandknowwherehewasgoing。
Aminutelaterhewasstillmovingon,butwithoutknowinganything。Hecouldnolongerthinkouthisnewidea。Hetriedtotakeaninterestinallhesaw;inthesky,intheNeva。Hespoketosomechildrenhemet。Hefelthisepilepticconditionbecomingmoreandmoredeveloped。Theeveningwasveryclose;thunderwasheardsomewayoff。
TheprincewashauntedallthatdaybythefaceofLebedeff’snephewwhomhehadseenforthefirsttimethatmorning,justasoneishauntedattimesbysomepersistentmusicalrefrain。Byacuriousassociationofideas,theyoungmanalwaysappearedasthemurdererofwhomLebedeffhadspokenwhenintroducinghimtoMuishkin。Yes,hehadreadsomethingaboutthemurder,andthatquiterecently。SincehecametoRussia,hehadheardmanystoriesofthiskind,andwasinterestedinthem。Hisconversationwiththewaiter,anhourago,chancedtobeonthesubjectofthismurderoftheZemarins,andthelatterhadagreedwithhimaboutit。Hethoughtofthewaiteragain,anddecidedthathewasnofool,butasteady,intelligentman:though,saidhetohimself,\"Godknowswhathemayreallybe;inacountrywithwhichoneisunfamiliaritisdifficulttounderstandthepeopleonemeets。\"HewasbeginningtohaveapassionatefaithintheRussiansoul,however,andwhatdiscoverieshehadmadeinthelastsixmonths,whatunexpecteddiscoveries!Buteverysoulisamystery,anddepthsofmysterylieinthesoulofaRussian。
HehadbeenintimatewithRogojin,forexample,andabrotherlyfriendshiphadsprungupbetweenthem——yetdidhereallyknowhim?Whatchaosanduglinessfillstheworldattimes!Whataself-satisfiedrascalisthatnephewofLebedeff’s!\"ButwhatamIthinking,\"continuedtheprincetohimself。\"Canhereallyhavecommittedthatcrime?Didhekillthosesixpersons?Iseemtobeconfusingthings……howstrangeitallis……Myheadgoesround……AndLebedeff’sdaughter——howsympatheticandcharmingherfacewasassheheldthechildinherarms!Whataninnocentlookandchild-likelaughshehad!ItiscuriousthatI
hadforgottenheruntilnow。IexpectLebedeffadoresher——andI
reallybelieve,whenIthinkofit,thatassureastwoandtwomakefour,heisfondofthatnephew,too!\"
Well,whyshouldhejudgethemsohastily!Couldhereallysaywhattheywere,afteroneshortvisit?EvenLebedeffseemedanenigmatoday。Didheexpecttofindhimso?Hehadneverseenhimlikethatbefore。LebedeffandtheComtesseduBarry!GoodHeavens!IfRogojinshouldreallykillsomeone,itwouldnot,atanyrate,besuchasenseless,chaoticaffair。Aknifemadetoaspecialpattern,andsixpeoplekilledinakindofdelirium。ButRogojinalsohadaknifemadetoaspecialpattern。CanitbethatRogojinwishestomurderanyone?Theprincebegantotrembleviolently。\"Itisacrimeonmyparttoimagineanythingsobase,withsuchcynicalfrankness。\"Hisfacereddenedwithshameatthethought;andthentherecameacrosshimasinaflashthememoryoftheincidentsatthePavlofskstation,andattheotherstationinthemorning;andthequestionaskedhimbyRogojinaboutTHEEYESandRogojin’scross,thathewasevennowwearing;
andthebenedictionofRogojin’smother;andhisembraceonthedarkenedstaircase——thatlastsupremerenunciation——andnow,tofindhimselffullofthisnew\"idea,\"staringintoshop-windows,andlookingroundforthings——howbasehewas!
Despairovermasteredhissoul;hewouldnotgoon,hewouldgobacktohishotel;heeventurnedandwenttheotherway;butamomentafterhechangedhismindagainandwentonintheolddirection。
Why,herehewasonthePetersburgSidealready,quiteclosetothehouse!Wherewashis\"idea\"?Hewasmarchingalongwithoutitnow。Yes,hismaladywascomingback,itwasclearenough;allthisgloomandheaviness,allthese\"ideas,\"werenothingmorenorlessthanafitcomingon;perhapshewouldhaveafitthisveryday。
Butjustnowallthegloomanddarknesshadfled,hisheartfeltfullofjoyandhope,therewasnosuchthingasdoubt。Andyes,hehadn’tseenherforsolong;hereallymustseeher。HewishedhecouldmeetRogojin;hewouldtakehishand,andtheywouldgotohertogether。Hisheartwaspure,hewasnorivalofParfen’s。
Tomorrow,hewouldgoandtellhimthathehadseenher。Why,hehadonlycomeforthesolepurposeofseeingher,allthewayfromMoscow!Perhapsshemightbeherestill,whoknows?ShemightnothavegoneawaytoPavlofskyet。
Yes,allthismustbeputstraightandabove-board,theremustbenomorepassionaterenouncements,suchasRogojin’s。Itmustallbeclearasday。CannotRogojin’ssoulbearthelight?Hesaidhedidnotloveherwithsympathyandpity;true,headdedthat\"yourpityisgreaterthanmylove,\"buthewasnotquitefaironhimselfthere。Kin!Rogojinreadingabook——wasn’tthatsympathybeginning?Diditnotshowthathecomprehendedhisrelationswithher?Andhisstoryofwaitingdayandnightforherforgiveness?Thatdidn’tlookquitelikepassionalone。
Andastoherface,coulditinspirenothingbutpassion?Couldherfaceinspirepassionatallnow?Oh,itinspiredsuffering,grief,overwhelminggriefofthesoul!Apoignant,agonizingmemorysweptovertheprince’sheart。
Yes,agonizing。Herememberedhowhehadsufferedthatfirstdaywhenhethoughtheobservedinherthesymptomsofmadness。Hehadalmostfallenintodespair。HowcouldhehavelosthisholduponherwhensheranawayfromhimtoRogojin?Heoughttohaverunafterherhimself,ratherthanwaitfornewsashehaddone。
CanRogojinhavefailedtoobserve,uptonow,thatsheismad?
Rogojinattributesherstrangenesstoothercauses,topassion!
Whatinsanejealousy!Whatwasithehadhintedatinthatsuggestionofhis?Theprincesuddenlyblushed,andshudderedtohisveryheart。
Butwhyrecallallthis?Therewasinsanityonbothsides。Forhim,theprince,tolovethiswomanwithpassion,wasunthinkable。Itwouldbecruelandinhuman。Yes。Rogojinisnotfairtohimself;hehasalargeheart;hehasaptitudeforsympathy。Whenhelearnsthetruth,andfindswhatapitiablebeingisthisinjured,broken,half-insanecreature,hewillforgiveherallthetormentshehascausedhim。Hewillbecomeherslave,herbrother,herfriend。CompassionwillteachevenRogojin,itwillshowhimhowtoreason。Compassionisthechieflawofhumanexistence。Oh,howguiltyhefelttowardsRogojin!
And,forafewwarm,hastywordsspokeninMoscow,Parfenhadcalledhim\"brother,\"whilehe——butno,thiswasdelirium!Itwouldallcomeright!ThatgloomyParfenhadimpliedthathisfaithwaswaning;hemustsufferdreadfully。Hesaidhelikedtolookatthatpicture;itwasnotthathelikedit,buthefelttheneedoflookingatit。Rogojinwasnotmerelyapassionatesoul;hewasafighter。Hewasfightingfortherestorationofhisdyingfaith。Hemusthavesomethingtoholdontoandbelieve,andsomeonetobelievein。WhatastrangepicturethatofHolbein’sis!Why,thisisthestreet,andhere’sthehouse,No。16。
Theprincerangthebell,andaskedforNastasiaPhilipovna。Theladyofthehousecameout,andstatedthatNastasiahadgonetostaywithDariaAlexeyevnaatPavlofsk,andmightbetheresomedays。
MadameFilisoffwasalittlewomanofforty,withacunningface,andcrafty,piercingeyes。When,withanairofmystery,sheaskedhervisitor’sname,herefusedatfirsttoanswer,butinamomenthechangedhismind,andleftstrictinstructionsthatitshouldbegiventoNastasiaPhilipovna。TheurgencyofhisrequestseemedtoimpressMadameFilisoff,andsheputonaknowingexpression,asiftosay,\"Youneednotbeafraid,I
quiteunderstand。\"Theprince’snameevidentlywasagreatsurprisetoher。Hestoodandlookedabsentlyatherforamoment,thenturned,andtooktheroadbacktohishotel。Buthewentawaynotashecame。Agreatchangehadsuddenlycomeoverhim。Hewentblindlyforward;hiskneesshookunderhim;hewastormentedby\"ideas\";hislipswereblue,andtrembledwithafeeble,meaninglesssmile。Hisdemonwasuponhimoncemore。
Whathadhappenedtohim?Whywashisbrowclammywithdropsofmoisture,hiskneesshakingbeneathhim,andhissouloppressedwithacoldgloom?Wasitbecausehehadjustseenthesedreadfuleyesagain?Why,hehadlefttheSummerGardenonpurposetoseethem;thathadbeenhis\"idea。\"Hehadwishedtoassurehimselfthathewouldseethemoncemoreatthathouse。Thenwhywashesooverwhelmednow,havingseenthemasheexpected?justasthoughhehadnotexpectedtoseethem!Yes,theyweretheverysameeyes;andnodoubtaboutit。Thesamethathehadseeninthecrowdthatmorningatthestation,thesamethathehadsurprisedinRogojin’sroomssomehourslater,whenthelatterhadrepliedtohisinquirywithasneeringlaugh,\"Well,whoseeyeswerethey?\"ThenforthethirdtimetheyhadappearedjustashewasgettingintothetrainonhiswaytoseeAglaya。HehadhadastrongimpulsetorushuptoRogojin,andrepeathiswordsofthemorning\"Whoseeyesarethey?\"Insteadhehadfledfromthestation,andknewnothingmore,untilhefoundhimselfgazingintothewindowofacutler’sshop,andwonderingifaknifewithastaghornhandlewouldcostmorethansixtycopecks。AndastheprincesatdreamingintheSummerGardenunderalime-tree,awickeddemonhadcomeandwhisperedinhiscar:\"Rogojinhasbeenspyinguponyouandwatchingyouallthemorninginafrenzyofdesperation。WhenhefindsyouhavenotgonetoPavlofsk——aterriblediscoveryforhim——hewillsurelygoatoncetothathouseinPetersburgSide,andwatchforyouthere,althoughonlythismorningyougaveyourwordofhonournottoseeHER,andsworethatyouhadnotcometoPetersburgforthatpurpose。\"Andthereupontheprincehadhastenedofftothathouse,andwhatwasthereinthefactthathehadmetRogojinthere?Hehadonlyseenawretched,sufferingcreature,whosestateofmindwasgloomyandmiserable,butmostcomprehensible。InthemorningRogojinhadseemedtobetryingtokeepoutoftheway;butatthestationthisafternoonhehadstoodout,hehadconcealedhimself,indeed,lessthantheprincehimself;atthehouse,now,hehadstoodfiftyyardsoffontheothersideoftheroad,withfoldedhands,watching,plainlyinviewandapparentlydesirousofbeingseen。Hehadstoodtherelikeanaccuser,likeajudge,notlikea——awhat?
Andwhyhadnottheprinceapproachedhimandspokentohim,insteadofturningawayandpretendinghehadseennothing,althoughtheireyesmet?Yes,theireyeshadmet,andtheyhadlookedateachother。Why,hehadhimselfwishedtotakeRogojinbythehandandgointogether,hehadhimselfdeterminedtogotohimonthemorrowandtellhimthathehadseenher,hehadrepudiatedthedemonashewalkedtothehouse,andhishearthadbeenfullofjoy。
Wastheresomethinginthewholeaspectoftheman,today,sufficienttojustifytheprince’sterror,andtheawfulsuspicionsofhisdemon?Somethingseen,butindescribable,whichfilledhimwithdreadfulpresentiments?Yes,hewasconvincedofit——convincedofwhat?Oh,howmeanandhideousofhimtofeelthisconviction,thispresentiment!Howheblamedhimselfforit!\"Speakifyoudare,andtellme,whatisthepresentiment?\"
herepeatedtohimself,overandoveragain。\"Putitintowords,speakoutclearlyanddistinctly。Oh,miserablecowardthatI
am!\"Theprinceflushedwithshameforhisownbaseness。\"HowshallIeverlookthismaninthefaceagain?MyGod,whataday!
Andwhatanightmare,whatanightmare!\"
Therewasamoment,duringthislong,wretchedwalkbackfromthePetersburgSide,whentheprincefeltanirresistibledesiretogostraighttoRogojin’s,waitforhim,embracehimwithtearsofshameandcontrition,andtellhimofhisdistrust,andfinishwithit——onceforall。
Butherehewasbackathishotel。
Howoftenduringthedayhehadthoughtofthishotelwithloathing——itscorridor,itsrooms,itsstairs。Howhehaddreadedcomingbacktoit,forsomereason。
\"WhataregularoldwomanIamtoday,\"hehadsaidtohimselfeachtime,withannoyance。\"Ibelieveineveryfoolishpresentimentthatcomesintomyhead。\"
Hestoppedforamomentatthedoor;agreatflushofshamecameoverhim。\"Iamacoward,awretchedcoward,\"hesaid,andmovedforwardagain;butoncemorehepaused。
Amongalltheincidentsoftheday,onerecurredtohismindtotheexclusionoftherest;althoughnowthathisself-controlwasregained,andhewasnolongerundertheinfluenceofanightmare,hewasabletothinkofitcalmly。ItconcernedtheknifeonRogojin’stable。\"WhyshouldnotRogojinhaveasmanyknivesonhistableashechooses?\"thoughttheprince,wonderingathissuspicions,ashehaddonewhenhefoundhimselflookingintothecutler’swindow。\"Whatcouldithavetodowithme?\"hesaidtohimselfagain,andstoppedasifrootedtothegroundbyakindofparalysisoflimbsuchasattackspeopleunderthestressofsomehumiliatingrecollection。
Thedoorwaywasdarkandgloomyatanytime;butjustatthismomentitwasrendereddoublysobythefactthatthethunder-
stormhadjustbroken,andtherainwascomingdownintorrents。
Andinthesemi-darknesstheprincedistinguishedamanstandingclosetothestairs,apparentlywaiting。
Therewasnothingparticularlysignificantinthefactthatamanwasstandingbackinthedoorway,waitingtocomeoutorgoupstairs;buttheprincefeltanirresistibleconvictionthatheknewthisman,andthatitwasRogojin。Themanmovedonupthestairs;amomentlatertheprincepassedupthem,too。Hisheartfrozewithinhim。\"InaminuteortwoIshallknowall,\"hethought。
Thestaircaseledtothefirstandsecondcorridorsofthehotel,alongwhichlaytheguests’bedrooms。AsisoftenthecaseinPetersburghouses,itwasnarrowandverydark,andturnedaroundamassivestonecolumn。
Onthefirstlanding,whichwasassmallasthenecessaryturnofthestairsallowed,therewasanicheinthecolumn,abouthalfayardwide,andinthisnichetheprincefeltconvincedthatamanstoodconcealed。Hethoughthecoulddistinguishafigurestandingthere。Hewouldpassbyquicklyandnotlook。Hetookastepforward,butcouldbeartheuncertaintynolongerandturnedhishead。
Theeyes——thesametwoeyes——methis!Themanconcealedinthenichehadalsotakenastepforward。Foronesecondtheystoodfacetoface。
Suddenlytheprincecaughtthemanbytheshoulderandtwistedhimroundtowardsthelight,sothathemightseehisfacemoreclearly。
Rogojin’seyesflashed,andasmileofinsanitydistortedhiscountenance。Hisrighthandwasraised,andsomethingglitteredinit。Theprincedidnotthinkoftryingtostopit。Allhecouldrememberafterwardswasthatheseemedtohavecalledout:
\"Parfen!Iwon’tbelieveit。\"
Nextmomentsomethingappearedtoburstopenbeforehim:awonderfulinnerlightilluminatedhissoul。Thislastedperhapshalfasecond,yethedistinctlyrememberedhearingthebeginningofthewail,thestrange,dreadfulwail,whichburstfromhislipsofitsownaccord,andwhichnoeffortofwillonhispartcouldsuppress。
Nextmomenthewasabsolutelyunconscious;blackdarknessblottedouteverything。
Hehadfalleninanepilepticfit……
Asiswellknown,thesefitsoccurinstantaneously。Theface,especiallytheeyes,becometerriblydisfigured,convulsionsseizethelimbs,aterriblecrybreaksfromthesufferer,awailfromwhicheverythinghumanseemstobeblottedout,sothatitisimpossibletobelievethatthemanwhohasjustfallenisthesamewhoemittedthedreadfulcry。Itseemsmoreasthoughsomeotherbeing,insidethestrickenone,hadcried。Manypeoplehavebornewitnesstothisimpression;andmanycannotbeholdanepilepticfitwithoutafeelingofmysteriousterroranddread。
Suchafeeling,wemustsuppose,overtookRogojinatthismoment,andsavedtheprince’slife。Notknowingthatitwasafit,andseeinghisvictimdisappearheadforemostintothedarkness,hearinghisheadstrikethestonestepsbelowwithacrash,Rogojinrusheddownstairs,skirtingthebody,andflunghimselfheadlongoutofthehotel,likearavingmadman。
Theprince’sbodyslippedconvulsivelydownthestepstillitrestedatthebottom。Verysoon,infiveminutesorso,hewasdiscovered,andacrowdcollectedaroundhim。
Apoolofbloodonthestepsnearhisheadgaverisetogravefears。Wasitacaseofaccident,orhadtherebeenacrime?Itwas,however,soonrecognizedasacaseofepilepsy,andidentificationandpropermeasuresforrestorationfollowedoneanother,owingtoafortunatecircumstance。ColiaIvolginhadcomebacktohishotelaboutseveno’clock,owingtoasuddenimpulsewhichmadehimrefusetodineattheEpanchins’,and,findinganotefromtheprinceawaitinghim,hadspedawaytothelatter’saddress。Arrivedthere,heorderedacupofteaandsatsippingitinthecoffee-room。Whilethereheheardexcitedwhispersofsomeonejustfoundatthebottomofthestairsinafit;uponwhichhehadhurriedtothespot,withapresentimentofevil,andatoncerecognizedtheprince。
Thesuffererwasimmediatelytakentohisroom,andthoughhepartiallyregainedconsciousness,helaylonginasemi-dazedcondition。
Thedoctorstatedthattherewasnodangertobeapprehendedfromthewoundonthehead,andassoonastheprincecouldunderstandwhatwasgoingonaroundhim,ColiahiredacarriageandtookhimawaytoLebedeff’s。Therehewasreceivedwithmuchcordiality,andthedeparturetothecountrywashastenedonhisaccount。
ThreedayslatertheywereallatPavlofsk。
VI。
LEBEDEFF’Scountry-housewasnotlarge,butitwasprettyandconvenient,especiallythepartwhichwaslettotheprince。
Arowoforangeandlemontreesandjasmines,plantedingreentubs,stoodonthefairlywideterrace。AccordingtoLebedeff,thesetreesgavethehouseamostdelightfulaspect。Someweretherewhenheboughtit,andhewassocharmedwiththeeffectthathepromptlyaddedtotheirnumber。Whenthetubscontainingtheseplantsarrivedatthevillaandweresetintheirplaces,Lebedeffkeptrunningintothestreettoenjoytheviewofthehouse,andeverytimehedidsotherenttobedemandedfromthefuturetenantwentupwithabound。
Thiscountryvillapleasedtheprinceverymuchinhisstateofphysicalandmentalexhaustion。OnthedaythattheyleftforPavlofsk,thatisthedayafterhisattack,heappearedalmostwell,thoughinrealityhefeltveryfarfromit。Thefacesofthosearoundhimforthelastthreedayshadmadeapleasantimpression。Hewaspleasedtosee,notonlyColia,whohadbecomehisinseparablecompanion,butLebedeffhimselfandallthefamily,exceptthenephew,whohadleftthehouse。HewasalsogladtoreceiveavisitfromGeneralIvolgin,beforeleavingSt。
Petersburg。
ItwasgettinglatewhenthepartyarrivedatPavlofsk,butseveralpeoplecalledtoseetheprince,andassembledintheverandah。Ganiawasthefirsttoarrive。Hehadgrownsopaleandthinthattheprincecouldhardlyrecognizehim。ThencameVariaandPtitsin,whowererusticatingintheneighbourhood。AstoGeneralIvolgin,hescarcelybudgedfromLebedeff’shouse,andseemedtohavemovedtoPavlofskwithhim。LebedeffdidhisbesttokeepArdalionAlexandrovitchbyhim,andtopreventhimfrominvadingtheprince’squarters。Hechattedwithhimconfidentially,sothattheymighthavebeentakenforoldfriends。Duringthosethreedaystheprincehadnoticedthattheyfrequentlyheldlongconversations;heoftenheardtheirvoicesraisedinargumentondeepandlearnedsubjects,whichevidentlypleasedLebedeff。Heseemedasifhecouldnotdowithoutthegeneral。ButitwasnotonlyArdalionAlexandrovitchwhomLebedeffkeptoutoftheprince’sway。Sincetheyhadcometothevilla,hetreatedhisownfamilythesame。Uponthepretextthathistenantneededquiet,hekepthimalmostinisolation,andMuishkinprotestedinvainagainstthisexcessofzeal。Lebedeffstampedhisfeetathisdaughtersanddrovethemawayiftheyattemptedtojointheprinceontheterrace;notevenVerawasexcepted。
\"Theywillloseallrespectiftheyareallowedtobesofreeandeasy;besidesitisnotproperforthem,\"hedeclaredatlast,inanswertoadirectquestionfromtheprince。
\"Whyonearthnot?\"askedthelatter。\"Really,youknow,youaremakingyourselfanuisance,bykeepingguardovermelikethis。I
getboredallbymyself;Ihavetoldyousooverandoveragain,andyougetonmynervesmorethaneverbywavingyourhandsandcreepinginandoutinthemysteriouswayyoudo。\"
ItwasafactthatLebedeff,thoughhewassoanxioustokeepeveryoneelsefromdisturbingthepatient,wascontinuallyinandoutoftheprince’sroomhimself。Heinvariablybeganbyopeningthedooracrackandpeeringintoseeiftheprincewasthere,orifhehadescaped;thenhewouldcreepsoftlyuptothearm-
chair,sometimesmakingMuishkinjumpbyhissuddenappearance。
Healwaysaskedifthepatientwantedanything,andwhenthelatterrepliedthatheonlywantedtobeleftinpeace,hewouldturnawayobedientlyandmakeforthedoorontip-toe,withdeprecatorygesturestoimplythathehadonlyjustlookedin,thathewouldnotspeakaword,andwouldgoawayandnotintrudeagain;whichdidnotpreventhimfromreappearingintenminutesoraquarterofanhour。Coliahadfreeaccesstotheprince,atwhichLebedeffwasquitedisgustedandindignant。Hewouldlistenatthedoorforhalfanhouratatimewhilethetwoweretalking。Coliafoundthisout,andnaturallytoldtheprinceofhisdiscovery。
\"Doyouthinkyourselfmymaster,thatyoutrytokeepmeunderlockandkeylikethis?\"saidtheprincetoLebedeff。\"Inthecountry,atleast,Iintendtobefree,andyoumaymakeupyourmindthatImeantoseewhomIlike,andgowhereIplease。\"
\"Why,ofcourse,\"repliedtheclerk,gesticulatingwithhishands。
Theprincelookedhimsternlyupanddown。
\"Well,LukianTimofeyovitch,haveyoubroughtthelittlecupboardthatyouhadattheheadofyourbedwithyouhere?\"
\"No,Ileftitwhereitwas。\"
\"Impossible!\"
\"Itcannotbemoved;youwouldhavetopullthewalldown,itissofirmlyfixed。\"
\"Perhapsyouhaveonelikeithere?\"
\"Ihaveonethatisevenbetter,muchbetter;thatisreallywhyIboughtthishouse。\"
\"Ah!Whatvisitordidyouturnawayfrommydoor,aboutanhourago?\"
\"The-thegeneral。Iwouldnotlethimin;thereisnoneedforhimtovisityou,prince……Ihavethedeepestesteemforhim,heisa——agreatman。Youdon’tbelieveit?Well,youwillsee,andyet,mostexcellentprince,youhadmuchbetternotreceivehim。\"
\"MayIaskwhy?andalsowhyyouwalkaboutontiptoeandalwaysseemasifyouweregoingtowhisperasecretinmyearwheneveryoucomenearme?\"
\"Iamvile,vile;Iknowit!\"criedLebedeff,beatinghisbreastwithacontriteair。\"Butwillnotthegeneralbetoohospitableforyou?\"
\"Toohospitable?\"
\"Yes。First,heproposestocomeandliveinmyhouse。Wellandgood;buthesticksatnothing;heimmediatelymakeshimselfoneofthefamily。Wehavetalkedoverourrespectiverelationsseveraltimes,anddiscoveredthatweareconnectedbymarriage。
Itseemsalsothatyouareasortofnephewonhismother’sside;
hewasexplainingittomeagainonlyyesterday。Ifyouarehisnephew,itfollowsthatImustalsobearelationofyours,mostexcellentprince。Nevermindaboutthat,itisonlyafoible;butjustnowheassuredmethatallhislife,fromthedayhewasmadeanensigntothe11thoflastJune,hehasentertainedatleasttwohundredguestsathistableeveryday。Finally,hewentsofarastosaythattheyneverrosefromthetable;theydined,supped,andhadtea,forfifteenhoursatastretch。Thiswentonforthirtyyearswithoutabreak;therewasbarelytimetochangethetable-cloth;directlyonepersonleft,anothertookhisplace。Onfeast-daysheentertainedasmanyasthreehundredguests,andtheynumberedsevenhundredonthethousandthanniversaryofthefoundationoftheRussianEmpire。Itamountstoapassionwithhim;itmakesoneuneasytohearofit。Itisterribletohavetoentertainpeoplewhodothingsonsuchascale。ThatiswhyIwonderwhethersuchamanisnottoohospitableforyouandme。\"
\"Butyouseemtobeonthebestoftermswithhim?\"
\"Quitefraternal——Ilookuponitasajoke。Letusbebrothers-
in-law,itisallthesametome,——ratheranhonourthannot。ButinspiteofthetwohundredguestsandthethousandthanniversaryoftheRussianEmpire,Icanseethatheisaveryremarkableman。Iamquitesincere。YousaidjustnowthatIalwayslookedasifIwasgoingtotellyouasecret;youareright。Ihaveasecrettotellyou:acertainpersonhasjustletmeknowthatsheisveryanxiousforasecretinterviewwithyou。\"
\"Whyshoulditbesecret?Notatall;Iwillcallonhermyselftomorrow。\"
\"No,ohno!\"criedLebedeff,wavinghisarms;\"ifsheisafraid,itisnotforthereasonyouthink。Bytheway,doyouknowthatthemonstercomeseverydaytoinquireafteryourhealth?\"
\"Youcallhimamonstersooftenthatitmakesmesuspicious。\"
\"Youmusthavenosuspicions,nonewhatever,\"saidLebedeffquickly。\"Ionlywantyoutoknowthatthepersoninquestionisnotafraidofhim,butofsomethingquite,quitedifferent。\"
\"Whatonearthissheafraidof,then?Tellmeplainly,withoutanymorebeatingaboutthebush,\"saidtheprince,exasperatedbytheother’smysteriousgrimaces。
\"Ahthatisthesecret,\"saidLebedeff,withasmile。
\"Whosesecret?\"
\"Yours。Youforbademeyourselftomentionitbeforeyou,mostexcellentprince,\"murmuredLebedeff。Then,satisfiedthathehadworkedupMuishkin’scuriositytothehighestpitch,headdedabruptly:\"SheisafraidofAglayaIvanovna。\"
Theprincefrownedforamomentinsilence,andthensaidsuddenly:
\"Really,Lebedeff,Imustleaveyourhouse。WhereareGavrilaArdalionovitchandthePtitsins?Aretheyhere?Haveyouchasedthemaway,too?\"
\"Theyarecoming,theyarecoming;andthegeneralaswell。I
willopenallthedoors;Iwillcallallmydaughters,allofthem,thisveryminute,\"saidLebedeffinalowvoice,thoroughlyfrightened,andwavinghishandsasheranfromdoortodoor。
AtthatmomentColiaappearedontheterrace;heannouncedthatLizabethaProkofievnaandherthreedaughterswereclosebehindhim。
Movedbythisnews,Lebedeffhurrieduptotheprince。
\"ShallIcallthePtitsins,andGavrilaArdalionovitch?ShallI
letthegeneralin?\"heasked。
\"Whynot?Letinanyonewhowantstoseeme。Iassureyou,Lebedeff,youhavemisunderstoodmypositionfromtheveryfirst;
youhavebeenwrongallalong。Ihavenottheslightestreasontohidemyselffromanyone,\"repliedtheprincegaily。
Seeinghimlaugh,Lebedeffthoughtfittolaughalso,andthoughmuchagitatedhissatisfactionwasquitevisible。
Coliawasright;theEpanchinladieswereonlyafewstepsbehindhim。AstheyapproachedtheterraceothervisitorsappearedfromLebedeff’ssideofthehouse-thePtitsins,Gania,andArdalionAlexandrovitch。
TheEpanchinshadonlyjustheardoftheprince’sillnessandofhispresenceinPavlofsk,fromColia;anduptothistimehadbeeninastateofconsiderablebewildermentabouthim。Thegeneralbroughttheprince’scarddownfromtown,andMrs。
Epanchinhadfeltconvincedthathehimselfwouldfollowhiscardatonce;shewasmuchexcited。
Invainthegirlsassuredherthatamanwhohadnotwrittenforsixmonthswouldnotbeinsuchadreadfulhurry,andthatprobablyhehadenoughtodointownwithoutneedingtobustledowntoPavlofsktoseethem。Theirmotherwasquiteangryattheveryideaofsuchathing,andannouncedherabsoluteconvictionthathewouldturnupthenextdayatlatest。
Sonextdaytheprincewasexpectedallthemorning,andatdinner,tea,andsupper;andwhenhedidnotappearintheevening,Mrs。Epanchinquarrelledwitheveryoneinthehouse,findingplentyofpretextswithoutsomuchasmentioningtheprince’sname。
Onthethirddaytherewasnotalkofhimatall,untilAglayaremarkedatdinner:\"Mammaiscrossbecausetheprincehasn’tturnedup,\"towhichthegeneralrepliedthatitwasnothisfault。
Mrs。Epanchinmisunderstoodtheobservation,andrisingfromherplaceshelefttheroominmajesticwrath。Intheevening,however,Coliacamewiththestoryoftheprince’sadventures,sofarasheknewthem。Mrs。Epanchinwastriumphant;althoughColiahadtolistentoalonglecture。\"Heidlesaboutherethewholedaylong,onecan’tgetridofhim;andthenwhenheiswantedhedoesnotcome。Hemighthavesentalineifhedidnotwishtoinconveniencehimself。\"
Atthewords\"onecan’tgetridofhim,\"Coliawasveryangry,andnearlyflewintoarage;butheresolvedtobequietforthetimeandshowhisresentmentlater。Ifthewordshadbeenlessoffensivehemighthaveforgiventhem,sopleasedwashetoseeLizabethaProkofievnaworriedandanxiousabouttheprince’sillness。
ShewouldhaveinsistedonsendingtoPetersburgatonce,foracertaingreatmedicalcelebrity;butherdaughtersdissuadedher,thoughtheywerenotwillingtostaybehindwhensheatoncepreparedtogoandvisittheinvalid。Aglaya,however,suggestedthatitwasalittleunceremonioustogoenmassetoseehim。
\"Verywellthen,stayathome,\"saidMrs。Epanchin,andagoodthingtoo,forEvgeniePavlovitchiscomingdownandtherewillbenooneathometoreceivehim。\"
Ofcourse,afterthis,Aglayawentwiththerest。Infact,shehadneverhadtheslightestintentionofdoingotherwise。
PrinceS。,whowasinthehouse,wasrequestedtoescorttheladies。HehadbeenmuchinterestedwhenhefirstheardoftheprincefromtheEpanchins。Itappearedthattheyhadknownoneanotherbefore,andhadspentsometimetogetherinalittleprovincialtownthreemonthsago。PrinceS。hadgreatlytakentohim,andwasdelightedwiththeopportunityofmeetinghimagain,Thegeneralhadnotcomedownfromtownasyet,norhadEvgeniePavlovitcharrived。
ItwasnotmorethantwoorthreehundredyardsfromtheEpanchins’housetoLebedeff’s。ThefirstdisagreeableimpressionexperiencedbyMrs。Epanchinwastofindtheprincesurroundedbyawholeassemblyofotherguests——nottomentionthefactthatsomeofthosepresentwereparticularlydetestableinhereyes。
Thenextannoyingcircumstancewaswhenanapparentlystrongandhealthyyoungfellow,welldressed,andsmiling,cameforwardtomeetherontheterrace,insteadofthehalf-dyingunfortunatewhomshehadexpectedtosee。
Shewasastonishedandvexed,andherdisappointmentpleasedColiaimmensely。Ofcoursehecouldhaveundeceivedherbeforeshestarted,butthemischievousboyhadbeencarefulnottodothat,foreseeingtheprobablylaughabledisgustthatshewouldexperiencewhenshefoundherdearfriend,theprince,ingoodhealth。ColiawasindelicateenoughtovoicethedelighthefeltathissuccessinmanagingtoannoyLizabethaProkofievna,withwhom,inspiteoftheirreallyamicablerelations,hewasconstantlysparring。
\"Justwaitawhile,myboy!\"saidshe;\"don’tbetoocertainofyourtriumph。\"Andshesatdownheavily,inthearm-chairpushedforwardbytheprince。
Lebedeff,Ptitsin,andGeneralIvolginhastenedtofindchairsfortheyoungladies。Variagreetedthemjoyfully,andtheyexchangedconfidencesinecstaticwhispers。
\"Imustadmit,prince,Iwasalittleputouttoseeyouupandaboutlikethis——Iexpectedtofindyouinbed;butIgiveyoumyword,Iwasonlyannoyedforaninstant,beforeIcollectedmythoughtsproperly。Iamalwayswiseronsecondthoughts,andI
daresayyouarethesame。IassureyouIamasgladtoseeyouwellasthoughyouweremyownson,——yes,andmore;andifyoudon’tbelievemethemoreshametoyou,andit’snotmyfault。
Butthatspitefulboydelightsinplayingallsortsoftricks。
Youarehispatron,itseems。Well,IwarnyouthatonefinemorningIshalldeprivemyselfofthepleasureofhisfurtheracquaintance。\"
\"WhathaveIdonewrongnow?\"criedColia。\"Whatwasthegoodoftellingyouthattheprincewasnearlywellagain?Youwouldnothavebelievedme;itwassomuchmoreinterestingtopicturehimonhisdeath-bed。\"
\"Howlongdoyouremainhere,prince?\"askedMadameEpanchin。
\"Allthesummer,andperhapslonger。\"
\"Youarealone,aren’tyou,——notmarried?\"
\"No,I’mnotmarried!\"repliedtheprince,smilingattheingenuousnessofthislittlefeeler。
\"Oh,youneedn’tlaugh!Thesethingsdohappen,youknow!Nowthen——whydidn’tyoucometous?Wehaveawingquiteempty。Butjustasyoulike,ofcourse。DoyouleaseitfromHIM?——thisfellow,Imean,\"sheadded,noddingtowardsLebedeff。\"Andwhydoeshealwayswriggleso?\"
AtthatmomentVera,carryingthebabyinherarmsasusual,cameoutofthehouse,ontotheterrace。Lebedeffkeptfidgetingamongthechairs,anddidnotseemtoknowwhattodowithhimself,thoughhehadnointentionofgoingaway。Henosoonercaughtsightofhisdaughter,thanherushedinherdirection,wavinghisarmstokeepheraway;heevenforgothimselfsofarastostamphisfoot。
\"Ishemad?\"askedMadameEpanchinsuddenly。
\"No,he……\"
\"Perhapsheisdrunk?Yourcompanyisratherpeculiar,\"sheadded,withaglanceattheotherguests……
\"Butwhataprettygirl!Whoisshe?\"
\"ThatisLebedeff’sdaughter——VeraLukianovna。\"
\"Indeed?Shelooksverysweet。Ishouldliketomakeheracquaintance。\"
Thewordswerehardlyoutofhermouth,whenLebedeffdraggedVeraforward,inordertopresenther。
\"Orphans,poororphans!\"hebeganinapatheticvoice。
\"Thechildshecarriesisanorphan,too。SheisVera’ssister,mydaughterLuboff。Thedaythisbabewasborn,sixweeksago,mywifedied,bythewillofGodAlmighty……Yes……Veratakeshermother’splace,thoughsheisbuthersister……nothingmore……nothingmore……\"
\"Andyou!Youarenothingmorethanafool,ifyou’llexcuseme!
Well!well!youknowthatyourself,Iexpect,\"saidtheladyindignantly。
Lebedeffbowedlow。\"Itisthetruth,\"hereplied,withextremerespect。
\"Oh,Mr。Lebedeff,IamtoldyoulectureontheApocalypse。Isittrue?\"askedAglaya。
\"Yes,thatisso……forthelastfifteenyears。\"
\"Ihaveheardofyou,andIthinkreadofyouinthenewspapers。\"
\"No,thatwasanothercommentator,whomthepapersnamed。Heisdead,however,andIhavetakenhisplace,\"saidtheother,muchdelighted。
\"Weareneighbours,sowillyoubesokindastocomeoveronedayandexplaintheApocalypsetome?\"saidAglaya。\"Idonotunderstanditintheleast。\"
\"Allowmetowarnyou,\"interposedGeneralIvolgin,thatheisthegreatestcharlatanonearth。\"Hehadtakenthechairnexttothegirl,andwasimpatienttobegintalking。\"Nodoubttherearepleasuresandamusementspeculiartothecountry,\"hecontinued,\"andtolistentoapretendedstudentholdingforthonthebookoftheRevelationsmaybeasgoodasanyother。Itmayevenbeoriginal。But……youseemtobelookingatmewithsomesurprise——mayIintroducemyself——GeneralIvolgin——Icarriedyouinmyarmsasababy——\"
\"Delighted,I’msure,\"saidAglaya;\"IamacquaintedwithVarvaraArdalionovnaandNinaAlexandrovna。\"Shewastryinghardtorestrainherselffromlaughing。
Mrs。Epanchinflushedup;someaccumulationofspleeninhersuddenlyneededanoutlet。ShecouldnotbearthisGeneralIvolginwhomshehadonceknown,longago——insociety。
\"Youaredeviatingfromthetruth,sir,asusual!\"sheremarked,boilingoverwithindignation;\"younevercarriedherinyourlife!\"
\"Youhaveforgotten,mother,\"saidAglaya,suddenly。\"Hereallydidcarrymeabout,——inTver,youknow。Iwassixyearsold,I
remember。Hemademeabowandarrow,andIshotapigeon。Don’tyouremembershootingapigeon,youandI,oneday?\"
\"Yes,andhemademeacardboardhelmet,andalittlewoodensword——Iremember!\"saidAdelaida。
\"Yes,Iremembertoo!\"saidAlexandra。\"Youquarrelledaboutthewoundedpigeon,andAdelaidawasputinthecorner,andstoodtherewithherhelmetandswordandall。\"
ThepoorgeneralhadmerelymadetheremarkabouthavingcarriedAglayainhisarmsbecausehealwaysdidsobeginaconversationwithyoungpeople。Butithappenedthatthistimehehadreallyhituponthetruth,thoughhehadhimselfentirelyforgottenthefact。ButwhenAdelaidaandAglayarecalledtheepisodeofthepigeon,hismindbecamefilledwithmemories,anditisimpossibletodescribehowthispooroldman,usuallyhalfdrunk,wasmovedbytherecollection。
\"Iremember——Irememberitall!\"hecried。\"Iwascaptainthen。
Youweresuchalovelylittlething——NinaAlexandrovna!——Gania,listen!IwasreceivedthenbyGeneralEpanchin。\"
\"Yes,andlookwhatyouhavecometonow!\"interruptedMrs。
Epanchin。\"However,Iseeyouhavenotquitedrunkyourbetterfeelingsaway。Butyou’vebrokenyourwife’sheart,sir——andinsteadoflookingafteryourchildren,youhavespentyourtimeinpublic-housesanddebtors’prisons!Goaway,myfriend,standinsomecornerandweep,andbemoanyourfallendignity,andperhapsGodwillforgiveyouyet!Go,go!I’mserious!There’snothingsofavourableforrepentanceastothinkofthepastwithfeelingsofremorse!\"
Therewasnoneedtorepeatthatshewasserious。Thegeneral,likealldrunkards,wasextremelyemotionalandeasilytouchedbyrecollectionsofhisbetterdays。Heroseandwalkedquietlytothedoor,someeklythatMrs。Epanchinwasinstantlysorryforhim。
\"ArdalionAlexandrovitch,\"shecriedafterhim,\"waitamoment,weareallsinners!Whenyoufeelthatyourconsciencereproachesyoualittleless,comeovertomeandwe’llhaveatalkaboutthepast!IdaresayIamfiftytimesmoreofasinnerthanyouare!Andnowgo,go,good-bye,youhadbetternotstayhere!\"sheadded,inalarm,asheturnedasthoughtocomeback。
\"Don’tgoafterhimjustnow,Colia,orhe’llbevexed,andthebenefitofthismomentwillbelost!\"saidtheprince,astheboywashurryingoutoftheroom。
\"Quitetrue!MuchbettertogoinhalfanhourorsosaidMrs。
Epanchin。
\"That’swhatcomesoftellingthetruthforonceinone’slife!\"
saidLebedeff。\"Itreducedhimtotears。\"
\"Come,come!thelessYOUsayaboutitthebetter——tojudgefromallIhaveheardaboutyou!\"repliedMrs。Epanchin。
TheprincetookthefirstopportunityofinformingtheEpanchinladiesthathehadintendedtopaythemavisitthatday,iftheyhadnotthemselvescomethisafternoon,andLizabethaProkofievnarepliedthatshehopedhewouldstilldoso。
Bythistimesomeofthevisitorshaddisappeared。
PtitsinhadtactfullyretreatedtoLebedeff’swing;andGaniasoonfollowedhim。
Thelatterhadbehavedmodestly,butwithdignity,onthisoccasionofhisfirstmeetingwiththeEpanchinssincetherupture。TwiceMrs。Epanchinhaddeliberatelyexaminedhimfromheadtofoot;buthehadstoodfirewithoutflinching。Hewascertainlymuchchanged,asanyonecouldseewhohadnotmethimforsometime;andthisfactseemedtoaffordAglayaagooddealofsatisfaction。
\"ThatwasGavrilaArdalionovitch,whojustwentout,wasn’tit?\"
sheaskedsuddenly,interruptingsomebodyelse’sconversationtomaketheremark。
\"Yes,itwas,\"saidtheprince。
\"Ihardlyknewhim;heismuchchanged,andforthebetter!\"
\"Iamveryglad,\"saidtheprince。
\"Hehasbeenveryill,\"addedVaria。
\"Howhashechangedforthebetter?\"askedMrs。Epanchin。\"I
don’tseeanychangeforthebetter!What’sbetterinhim?WheredidyougetTHATideafrom?WHAT’Sbetter?\"
\"There’snothingbetterthanthe’poorknight’!\"saidColia,whowasstandingnearthelastspeaker’schair。
\"Iquiteagreewithyouthere!\"saidPrinceS。,laughing。
\"SodoI,\"saidAdelaida,solemnly。
\"WHATpoorknight?\"askedMrs。Epanchin,lookingroundatthefaceofeachofthespeakersinturn。Seeing,however,thatAglayawasblushing,sheadded,angrily:
\"Whatnonsenseyouarealltalking!Whatdoyoumeanbypoorknight?\"
\"It’snotthefirsttimethisurchin,yourfavourite,hasshownhisimpudencebytwistingotherpeople’swords,\"saidAglaya,haughtily。
EverytimethatAglayashowedtemperandthiswasveryoften,therewassomuchchildishpouting,such\"school-girlishness,\"asitwere,inherapparentwrath,thatitwasimpossibletoavoidsmilingather,toherownunutterableindignation。Ontheseoccasionsshewouldsay,\"Howcanthey,howDAREtheylaughatme?\"
Thistimeeveryonelaughedather,hersisters,PrinceS。,PrinceMuishkinthoughhehimselfhadflushedforsomereason,andColia。Aglayawasdreadfullyindignant,andlookedtwiceasprettyinherwrath。
\"He’salwaystwistingroundwhatonesays,\"shecried。
\"Iamonlyrepeatingyourownexclamation!\"saidColia。\"AmonthagoyouwereturningoverthepagesofyourDonQuixote,andsuddenlycalledout’thereisnothingbetterthanthepoorknight。’Idon’tknowwhomyouwerereferringto,ofcourse,whethertoDonQuixote,orEvgeniePavlovitch,orsomeoneelse,butyoucertainlysaidthesewords,andafterwardstherewasalongconversation……\"
\"Youareinclinedtogoalittletoofar,mygoodboy,withyourguesses,\"saidMrs。Epanchin,withsomeshowofannoyance。
\"Butit’snotIalone,\"criedColia。\"Theyalltalkedaboutit,andtheydostill。Why,justnowPrinceS。andAdelaidaIvanovnadeclaredthattheyupheld’thepoorknight’;soevidentlytheredoesexista’poorknight’;andifitwerenotforAdelaidaIvanovna,weshouldhaveknownlongagowhothe’poorknight’
was。\"
\"Why,howamItoblame?\"askedAdelaida,smiling。
\"Youwouldn’tdrawhisportraitforus,that’swhyyouaretoblame!AglayaIvanovnaaskedyoutodrawhisportrait,andgaveyouthewholesubjectofthepicture。Sheinventeditherself;
andyouwouldn’t。\"
\"WhatwasItodraw?Accordingtothelinesshequoted:
\"’FromhisfaceheneverliftedThateternalmaskofsteel。’\"
\"WhatsortofafacewasItodraw?Icouldn’tdrawamask。\"
\"Idon’tknowwhatyouaredrivingat;whatmaskdoyoumean?\"
saidMrs。Epanchin,irritably。Shebegantoseeprettyclearlythoughwhatitmeant,andwhomtheyreferredtobythegenerallyacceptedtitleof\"poorknight。\"Butwhatspeciallyannoyedherwasthattheprincewaslookingsouncomfortable,andblushinglikeaten-year-oldchild。
\"Well,haveyoufinishedyoursillyjoke?\"sheadded,andamItobetoldwhatthis’poorknight’means,orisitasolemnsecretwhichcannotbeapproachedlightly?\"
Buttheyalllaughedon。
\"It’ssimplythatthereisaRussianpoem,\"beganPrinceS。,evidentlyanxioustochangetheconversation,\"astrangething,withoutbeginningorend,andallabouta’poorknight。’Amonthorsoago,wewerealltalkingandlaughing,andlookingupasubjectforoneofAdelaida’spictures——youknowitistheprincipalbusinessofthisfamilytofindsubjectsforAdelaida’spictures。Well,wehappeneduponthis’poorknight。’Idon’trememberwhothoughtofitfirst——\"
\"Oh!AglayaIvanovnadid,\"saidColia。
\"Verylikely——Idon’trecollect,\"continuedPrinceS。
\"Someofuslaughedatthesubject;somelikedit;butshedeclaredthat,inordertomakeapictureofthegentleman,shemustfirstseehisface。Wethenbegantothinkoverallourfriends’facestoseeifanyofthemwoulddo,andnonesuitedus,andsothematterstood;that’sall。Idon’tknowwhyNicolaiArdalionovitchhasbroughtupthejokenow。Whatwasappropriateandfunnythen,hasquitelostallinterestbythistime。\"
\"Probablythere’ssomenewsillinessaboutit,\"saidMrs。
Epanchin,sarcastically。
\"Thereisnosillinessaboutitatall——onlytheprofoundestrespect,\"saidAglaya,veryseriously。Shehadquiterecoveredhertemper;infact,fromcertainsigns,itwasfairtoconcludethatshewasdelightedtoseethisjokegoingsofar;andacarefulobservermighthaveremarkedthathersatisfactiondatedfromthemomentwhenthefactoftheprince’sconfusionbecameapparenttoall。
\"’Profoundestrespect!’Whatnonsense!First,insanegiggling,andthen,allofasudden,adisplayof’profoundestrespect。’
Whyrespect?Tellmeatonce,whyhaveyousuddenlydevelopedthis’profoundrespect,’eh?\"
\"Because,\"repliedAglayagravely,\"inthepoemtheknightisdescribedasamancapableoflivinguptoanidealallhislife。
Thatsortofthingisnottobefoundeverydayamongthemenofourtimes。Inthepoemitisnotstatedexactlywhattheidealwas,butitwasevidentlysomevision,somerevelationofpureBeauty,andtheknightworeroundhisneck,insteadofascarf,arosary。Adevice——A。N。B——themeaningofwhichisnotexplained,wasinscribedonhisshield——\"
\"No,A。N。D。,\"correctedColia。
\"IsayA。N。B。,andsoitshallbe!\"criedAglaya,irritably。
\"Anyway,the’poorknight’didnotcarewhathisladywas,orwhatshedid。Hehadchosenhisideal,andhewasboundtoserveher,andbreaklancesforher,andacknowledgeherastheidealofpureBeauty,whatevershemightsayordoafterwards。Ifshehadtakentostealing,hewouldhavechampionedherjustthesame。Ithinkthepoetdesiredtoembodyinthisonepicturethewholespiritofmedievalchivalryandtheplatonicloveofapureandhigh-souledknight。Ofcourseit’sallanideal,andinthe’poorknight’thatspiritreachedtheutmostlimitofasceticism。
HeisaDonQuixote,onlyseriousandnotcomical。Iusednottounderstandhim,andlaughedathim,butnowIlovethe’poorknight,’andrespecthisactions。\"
SoendedAglaya;and,tolookather,itwasdifficult,indeed,tojudgewhethershewasjokingorinearnest。
\"Pooh!hewasafool,andhisactionsweretheactionsofafool,\"saidMrs。Epanchin;\"andasforyou,youngwoman,yououghttoknowbetter。Atallevents,youarenottotalklikethatagain。Whatpoemisit?Reciteit!Iwanttohearthispoem!
Ihavehatedpoetryallmylife。Prince,youmustexcusethisnonsense。Weneitherofuslikethissortofthing!Bepatient!\"
Theycertainlywereputout,bothofthem。
Theprincetriedtosaysomething,buthewastooconfused,andcouldnotgethiswordsout。Aglaya,whohadtakensuchlibertiesinherlittlespeech,wastheonlypersonpresent,perhaps,whowasnotintheleastembarrassed。Sheseemed,infact,quitepleased。
Shenowrosesolemnlyfromherseat,walkedtothecentreoftheterrace,andstoodinfrontoftheprince’schair。Alllookedonwithsomesurprise,andPrinceS。andhersisterswithfeelingsofdecidedalarm,toseewhatnewfrolicshewasupto;ithadgonequitefarenoughalready,theythought。ButAglayaevidentlythoroughlyenjoyedtheaffectationandceremonywithwhichshewasintroducingherrecitationofthepoem。
Mrs。Epanchinwasjustwonderingwhethershewouldnotforbidtheperformanceafterall,when,attheverymomentthatAglayacommencedherdeclamation,twonewguests,bothtalkingloudly,enteredfromthestreet。ThenewarrivalswereGeneralEpanchinandayoungman。
Theirentrancecausedsomeslightcommotion。