第8章
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  VII

  “Ishallhavetobegin,“saidhe,whentheywereallseatedandreadytolisten,“bygivingyousomeidea,notsomuchofthefamilytradition,asoftheeffectofthistraditionuponallwhoborethenameofVanBroecklyn。Thisisnottheonlyhouse,eveninAmerica,whichcontainsaroomshutawayfromintrusion。

  InEnglandtherearemany。Butthereisthisdifferencebetweenmostofthemandours。Nobarsorlocksforciblyheldshutthedoorwewereforbiddentoopen。Thecommandwasenough;thatandthesuperstitiousfearwhichsuchacommand,attendedbyalongandunquestioningobedience,waslikelytoengender。

  “Iknownomorethanyoudowhysomeearlyancestorlaidhisbanuponthisroom。ButfrommyearliestyearsIwasgiventounderstandthattherewasonelatchinthehousewhichwasnevertobelifted;thatanyfaultwouldbeforgivensoonerthanthat;

  thatthehonourofthewholefamilystoodinthewayofdisobedience,andthatIwastopreservethathonourtomydyingday。Youwillsaythatallthisisfantastic,andwonderthatsanepeopleinthesemoderntimesshouldsubjectthemselvestosucharidiculousrestriction,especiallywhennogoodreasonwasalleged,andtheverysourceofthetraditionfromwhichitsprungforgotten。Youareright;butifyoulooklongintohumannature,youwillseethatthebondswhichholdthefirmestarenotmaterialones——thatanideawillmakeamanandmouldacharacter——thatitliesatthesourceofallheroismsandistobecourtedorfearedasthecasemaybe。

  “Formeitpossessedapowerproportionatetomyloneliness。I

  don”tthinktherewaseveramorelonelychild。Myfatherandmotherweresounhappyineachother”scompanionshipthatoneorotherofthemwasalmostalwaysaway。ButIsawlittleofeitherevenwhentheywereathome。Theconstraintintheirattitudetowardseachotheraffectedtheirconducttowardsme。Ihaveaskedmyselfmorethanonceifeitherofthemhadanyrealaffectionforme。TomyfatherIspokeofher;toherofhim;andneverpleasurably。ThisIamforcedtosay,oryoucannotunderstandmystory。WouldtoGodIcouldtellanothertale!

  WouldtoGodIhadsuchmemoriesasothermenhaveofafather”sclasp,amother”skiss——butno!mygrief,alreadyprofound,mighthavebecomeabysmal。Perhapsitisbestasitis;only,Imighthavebeenadifferentchild,andmadeformyselfadifferentfate——

  whoknows。

  “Asitwas,Iwasthrownalmostentirelyuponmyownresourcesforanyamusement。ThisledmetoadiscoveryImadeoneday。Inafarpartofthecellarbehindsomeheavycasks,Ifoundalittledoor。Itwassolow——soexactlyfittedtomysmallbody,thatIhadthegreatestdesiretoenterit。ButIcouldnotgetaroundthecasks。Atlastanexpedientoccurredtome。Wehadanoldservantwhocamenearerlovingmethananyoneelse。OnedaywhenIchancedtobealoneinthecellar,Itookoutmyballandbeganthrowingitabout。Finallyitlandedbehindthecasks,andIranwithabeseechingcrytoMichael,tomovethem。

  “Itwasataskrequiringnolittlestrengthandaddress,buthemanaged,afterafewherculeanefforts,toshiftthemasideandI

  sawwithdelight,mywayopenedtothatmysteriouslittledoor。

  ButIdidnotapproachitthen;someinstinctdeterredme。Butwhentheopportunitycameformetoventuretherealone,Ididso,inthemostadventurousspirit,andbeganmyoperationsbyslidingbehindthecasksandtestingthehandleofthelittledoor。Itturned,andafterapullortwothedooryielded。Withmyheartinmymouth,Istoopedandpeeredin。Icouldseenothing——ablackholeandnothingmore。Thiscausedmeamoment”shesitation。Iwasafraidofthedark——hadalwaysbeen。Butcuriosityandthespiritofadventuretriumphed。SayingtomyselfthatIwasRobinsonCrusoeexploringthecave,Icrawledin,onlytofindthatIhadgainednothing。Itwasasdarkinsideasithadlookedtobefromwithout。

  “Therewasnofuninthis,soIcrawledback,andwhenItriedtheexperimentagain,itwaswithabitofcandleinmyhand,andasurreptitiousmatchortwo。WhatIsaw,whenwithaverytremblinglittlehandIhadlightedoneofthematches,wouldhavebeendisappointingtomostboys,butnottome。ThelitterandoldboardsIsawinoddcornersaboutmewerefullofpossibilities,whileinthedimnessbeyondIseemedtoperceiveasortofstaircasewhichmightlead——IdonotthinkImadeanyattempttoanswerthatquestioneveninmyownmind,butwhen,aftersomehesitationandasenseofgreatdaring,Ifinallycreptupthosesteps,Irememberverywellmysensationatfindingmyselfinfrontofanarrowcloseddoor。ItsuggestedtoovividlytheoneinGrandfather”slittleroom——thedoorinthewainscotwhichwewerenevertoopen。Ihadmyfirstrealtremblingfithere,andatoncefascinatedandrepelledbythisobstructionIstumbledandlostmycandle,which,goingoutinthefall,leftmeintotaldarknessandaveryfrightenedstateofmind。Formyimaginationwhichhadbeengreatlystirredbymyownvaguethoughtsoftheforbiddenroom,immediatelybegantopeoplethespaceaboutmewithghoulishfigures。HowshouldI

  escapethem,howeverreachmyownlittleroomagainundetectedandinsafety?

  Buttheseterrors,deepastheywere,werenothingtotherealfrightwhichseizedmewhen,thedarknessfinallybraved,andthewayfoundbackintothebright,wide-openhallsofthehouse,I

  becameconsciousofhavingdroppedsomethingbesidesthecandle。

  Mymatch-boxwasgone——notmymatch-box,butmygrandfather”swhichIhadfoundlyingonhistableandcarriedoffonthisadventure,inalltheconfidenceofirresponsibleyouth。Tomakeuseofitforalittlewhile,trustingtohisnotmissingitintheconfusionIhadnoticedaboutthehousethatmorning,wasonething;toloseitwasanother。Itwasnocommonbox。Madeofgoldandcherishedforsomespecialreasonwellknowntohimself,I

  hadoftenhearhimsaythatsomedayIwouldappreciateitsvalue,andbegladtoownit。AndIhadleftitinthatholeandatanyminutehemightmissit——possiblyaskforit!Thedaywasoneoftorment。Mymotherwasawayorshutupinherroom。Myfather——Idon”tknowjustwhatthoughtsIhadabouthim。Hewasnottobeseeneither,andtheservantscaststrangelooksatmewhenIspokehisname。ButIlittlerealizedtheblowwhichhadjustfallenuponthehouseinhisdefinitedeparture,andonlythoughtofmyowntrouble,andofhowIshouldmeetmygrandfather”seyewhenthehourcameforhimtodrawmetohiskneeforhisusualgood-night。

  “ThatIwassparedthisordealforthefirsttimethisverynightfirstcomfortedme,thenaddedtomydistress。Hehaddiscoveredhislossandwasangry。OnthemorrowhewouldaskmefortheboxandIwouldhavetolie,fornevercouldIfindthecouragetotellhimwhereIhadbeen。Suchanactofpresumptionhewouldneverforgive,orsoIthoughtasIlayandshiveredinmylittlebed。Thathiscoldness,hisneglect,sprangfromthediscoveryjustmadethatmymotheraswellasmyfatherhadjustfledthehouseforeverwasaslittleknowntomeasthemorningcalamity。

  Ihadbeengivenmyusualtendanceandwastuckedsafelyintobed;butthegloom,thesilencewhichpresentlysettleduponthehousehadaverydifferentexplanationinmymindfromtherealone。Mysinforsuchitloomedlargeinmymindbythistime

  colouredthewholesituationandaccountedforeveryevent。

  “AtwhathourIslippedfrommybedontothecoldfloor,Ishallneverknow。Tomeitseemedtobeinthedeadofnight;butI

  doubtifitweremorethanten。Soslowlycreepawaythemomentstoawakefulchild。Ihadmadeagreatresolve。Awfulastheprospectseemedtome,——frightenedasIwasbytheverythought,——

  Ihaddeterminedinmysmallmindtogodownintothecellar,andintothatmidnightholeagain,insearchofthelostbox。Iwouldtakeacandleandmatches,thistimefrommyownmantel-shelf,andifeveryonewasasleep,asappearedfromthedeathlyquietofthehouse,Iwouldbeabletogoandcomewithoutanybodyeverbeingthewiser。

  “Dressinginthedark,Ifoundmymatchesanmycandleand,puttingtheminoneofmypockets,softlyopenedmydoorandlookedout。Nobodywasstirring;everylightwasoutexceptasolitaryoneinthelowerhall。Thatthisstillburnedconveyednomeaningtomymind。HowcouldIknowthatthehousewassostillandtheroomsdarkbecauseeveryonewasoutsearchingforsomecluetomymother”sflight?IfIhadlookedattheclock0-

  butIdidnot;Iwastoointentuponmyerrand,toofilledwiththefeverofmydesperateundertaking,tobeaffectedbyanythingnotbearingdirectlyuponit。

  “OftheterrorcausedbymyownshadowonthewallasImadetheturninthehallbelow,Ihaveaskeenarecollectiontodayasthoughithappenedyesterday。Butthatdidnotdeterme;nothingdeterredme,tillsafeinthecellarIcroucheddownbehindthecaskstogetmybreathagainbeforeenteringtheholebeyond。

  “Ihadmadesomenoiseinfeelingmywayaroundthesecasks,andItrembledlestthesesoundshadbeenheardupstairs!Butthisfearsoongaveplacetoonefargreater。Othersoundsweremakingthemselvesheard。Adinofsmallskurryingfeetabove,below,oneverysideofme!Rats!ratsinthewall!ratsonthecellarbottom!HowIeverstirredfromthespotIdonotknow,butwhenIdidstir,itwastogoforward,andentertheuncannyhole。

  “IhadintendedtolightmycandlewhenIgotinside;butforsomereasonIwentstumblingalonginthedark,followingthewalltillIgottothestepswhereIhaddroppedthebox。Herealightwasnecessary,butmyhanddidnotgotomypocket。I

  thoughtitbettertoclimbthestepsfirst,andsoftlyonefootfoundthetreadandthenanother。Ihadonlythreemoretoclimbandthenmyrighthand,nowfeelingitswayalongthewall,wouldbefreetostrikeamatch。Iclimbedthethreestepsandwassteadyingmyselfagainstthedoorforafinalplunge,whensomethinghappened——somethingsostrange,sounexpected,andsoincrediblethatIwonderIdidnotshriekaloudinmyterror。Thedoorwasmovingundermyhand。Itwasslowlyopeninginward。I

  couldfeelthechillmadebythewideningcrack。Momentbymomentthischillincreased;thegapwasgrowing——apresencewasthere-apresencebeforewhichIsankinasmallheapuponthelanding。

  Woulditadvance?Haditfeet——hands?Wasitapresencewhichcouldbefelt?

  “Whateveritwas,itmadenoattempttopass,andpresentlyI

  liftedmyheadonlytoquakeanewatthesoundofavoice——ahumanvoice——mymother”svoice——sonearmethatbyputtingoutmyarmsImighthavetouchedher。

  “Shewasspeakingtomyfather。Iknewfromthetone。Shewassayingwordswhich,littleunderstoodastheywere,madesuchahavocinmyyouthfulmindthatIhaveneverforgottenthe“”Ihavecome!”shesaid。”TheythinkIhavefledthehouseandarelookingfarandwideforme。Weshallnotbedisturbed。Whowouldthinklookingofhereforeitheryouorme。”

  “Here!Thewordsanklikeaplummetinmybreast。IhadknownforsomefewminutesthatIwasonthethresholdoftheforbiddenroom;buttheywereinit。Icanscarcelymakeyouunderstandthetumultwhichthisawokeinmybrain。Somehow,Ihadneverthoughtthatanysuchbravingofthehouse”slawwouldbepossible。

  “Iheardmyfather”sanswer,butitconveyednomeaningtome。I

  alsorealizedthathespokefromadistance,——thathewasatoneendoftheroomwhilewewereattheother。Iwaspresentlytohavethisideaconfirmed,forwhileIwasstrivingwithallmymightandmaintosubduemyveryheart-throbssothatshewouldnothearmeorsuspectmypresence,thedarkness——Ishouldrathersaytheblacknessoftheplaceyieldedtoaflashoflightning——

  heatlightning,allglareandnosound——andIcaughtaninstantaneousvisionofmyfather”sfigurestandingwithgleamingthingsabouthim,whichaffectedmeatthemomentassupernatural,butwhich,inlateryears,Idecidedtohavebeenweaponshangingonawall。

  “Shesawhimtoo,forshegaveaquicklaughandsaidtheywouldnotneedanycandles;andthen,therewasanotherflashandIsawsomethinginhishandandsomethinginhers,andthoughIdidnotyetunderstand,Ifeltmyselfturningdeathlysickandgaveachokinggaspwhichwaslostintherushshemadeintothecentreoftheroom,andthekeennessofherswiftlowcry。

  “”Garde-toi!foronlyoneofuswilleverleavethisroomalive!”

  “Aduel!adueltothedeathbetweenthishusbandandwife——thisfatherandmother——inthisholeofdeadtragediesandwithinthesightandhearingoftheirchild!HasSataneverdevisedaschememorehideousforruiningthelifeofaneleven-year-oldboy!

  “NotthatItookitallinatonce。Iwastooinnocentandmuchtoodazedtocomprehendsuchhatred,muchlessthepassionswhichengenderit。Ionlyknewthatsomethinghorrible——somethingbeyondtheconceptionofmychildishmind——wasgoingtotakeplaceinthedarknessbeforeme;andtheterrorofitmademespeechless;wouldtoGodithadmademedeafandblindanddead!

  “Shehaddashedfromhercornerandhehadslidawayfromhis,asthenextfantasticglarewhichlituptheroomshowedme。Italsoshowedtheweaponsintheirhands,andforamomentIfeltreassuredwhenIsawthatthesewereswords,forIhadseenthembeforewithfoilsintheirhandspractisingforexercise,astheysaid,inthegreatgarret。Buttheswordshadbuttonsonthem,andthistimethetipsweresharpandshoneinthekeenlight。

  “AnexclamationfromherandagrowlofragefromhimwerefollowedbymovementsIcouldscarcelyhear,butwhichwereterrifyingfromtheirveryquiet。Thenthesoundofaclash。Theswordshadcrossed。

  “Hadthelightningflashedforththen,theendofoneofthemmighthaveoccurred。Butthedarknessremainedundisturbed,andwhentheglarerelitthegreatroomagain,theywerealreadyfarapart。Thiscalledoutawordfromhim;theonesentencehespoke——

  Icanneverforgetit:

  “”Rhoda,thereisbloodonyoursleeve;Ihavewoundedyou。Shallwecallitoffandfly,asthepoorcreaturesintherethinkwehave,totheoppositeendsoftheearth?”

  “Ialmostspoke;Ialmostaddedmychildishpleatohisforthemtostop——toremembermeandstop。Butnotamuscleinmythroatrespondedtomyagonizedeffort。Hercold,clear”No!”fellbeforemytonguewasloosedormyheartfreedfromtheponderousweightcrushingit。

  “”IhavevowedandIkeepmypromises”shewentoninatonequitestrangetome。”Whatwouldeither”slifebeworthwiththeotheraliveandhappyinthisworld。”

  “Hemadenoanswer;andthosesubtlemovements——shadowsofmovementsImightalmostcallthem——recommenced。Thentherecameasuddencry,shrillandpoignant——hadGrandfatherbeeninhisroomhewouldsurelyhaveheardit——andtheflashcomingalmostsimultaneouslywithitsutterance,Isawwhathashauntedmysleepfromthatdaytothis,myfatherpinnedagainstthewall,swordstillinhand,andbeforehimmymother,fiercelytriumphant,herstaringeyesfixedonhisand——

  Naturecouldbearnomore;thebandloosenedfrommythroat;theoppressionliftedfrommybreastlongenoughformetogiveonewildwailandsheturned,sawheavensentitsflashesquicklyatthismomentandrecognizingmychildishform,allthehorrorofherdeedorsoIhavefondlyhopedrosewithinher,andshegaveastartandfellfulluponthepointupturnedtoreceiveher。

  “Agroan;thenagaspingsighfromhim,andsilencesettledupontheroomanduponmyheart,andsofarasIknewuponthewholecreatedworld。

  “Thatismystory,friends。DoyouwonderthatIhaveneverbeenorlivedlikeothermen?“

  Afterafewmomentsofsympatheticsilence,Mr。VanBroecklynwenton,tosay:

  “Idon”tthinkIeverhadamoment”sdoubtthatmyparentsbothlaydeadonthefloorofthatgreatroom。WhenIcametomyself——

  whichmayhavebeensoon,andmaynothavebeenforalongwhile——

  thelightninghadceasedtoflash,leavingthedarknessstretchinglikeablankpallbetweenmeandthatspotinwhichwereconcentratedalltheterrorsofwhichmyimaginationwascapable。Idarednotenterit。Idarednottakeonestepthatway。Myinstinctwastoflyandhidemytremblingbodyagaininmyownbed;andassociatedwiththis,infactdominatingitandmakingmeoldbeforemytime,wasanother——nevertotell;nevertoletanyone,leastofallmygrandfather——knowwhatthatforbiddenroomnowcontained。Ifeltinanirresistiblesortofwaythatmyfather”sandmother”shonourwasatstake。Besides,terrorheldmeback;IfeltthatIshoulddieifIspoke。

  Childhoodhassuchterrorsandsuchheroisms。Silenceoftencoversinsuch,abyssesofthoughtandfeelingwhichastonishusinlateryears。Thereisnosufferinglikeachild”s,terrifiedbyasecretwhichitdarenotforsomereasondisclose。

  “Eventsaidedme。When,indesperationtoseeoncemorethelightandallthethingswhichlinkedmetolife——mylittlebed,thetoysonthewindow-sill,mysquirrelinitscage——Iforcedmyselftoretraversetheemptyhouse,expectingateveryturntohearmyfather”svoiceorcomeupontheimageofmymother——yes,suchwastheconfusionofmymind,thoughIknewwellenougheventhenthattheyweredeadandthatIshouldneverheartheoneorseetheother。Iwassobenumbedwiththecoldinmyhalf-dressedcondition,thatIwokeinafevernextmorningafteraterribledreamwhichforcedfrommylipsthecryof”Mother!Mother!”——

  onlythat。

  “Iwascautiousevenindelirium。Thisdeliriumandmyflushedcheeksandshiningeyesledthemtobeverycarefulofme。Iwastoldthatmymotherwasawayfromhome;andwhenaftertwodaysofsearchtheywerequitesurethatallefforttofindeitherherormyfatherwerelikelytoprovefruitless,thatshehadgonetoEuropewherewewouldfollowherassoonasIwaswell。Thispromise,offeringasitdid,aprospectofimmediatereleasefromtheterrorswhichwereconsumingme,hadanextraordinaryeffectuponme。IgotupoutofmybedsayingthatIwaswellnowandreadytostartontheinstant。Thedoctor,findingmypulseequable,andmywholeconditionwonderfullyimproved,andattributingit,aswasnatural,tomyhopeofsoonjoiningmymother,advisedmywhimtobehumouredandthishopekeptactivetilltravelandintercoursewithchildrenshouldgivemestrengthandpreparemeforthebittertruthultimatelyawaitingme。Theylistenedtohimandintwenty-fourhoursourpreparationsweremade。Wesawthehouseclosed——withwhatemotionssurginginonesmallbreast,Ileaveyoutoimagine——andthenstartedonourlongtour。ForfiveyearswewanderedoverthecontinentofEurope,mygrandfatherfindingdistraction,aswellasmyself,inforeignscenesandassociations。

  “Butreturnwasinevitable。WhatIsufferedonreenteringthishouse,Godandmysleeplesspillowaloneknow。Hadanydiscoverybeenmadeinourabsence;orwoulditbemadenowthatrenovationandrepairsofallkindswerenecessary?Timefinallyansweredme。Mysecretwassafeandlikelytocontinueso,andthisfactoncesettled,lifebecameendurable,ifnotcheerful。SincethenIhavespentonlytwonightsoutofthishouse,andtheywereunavoidable。WhenmygrandfatherdiedIhadthewainscotdoorcementedin。Itwasdonefromthissideandthecementpaintedtomatchthewood。NooneopenedthedoornorhaveIevercrosseditsthreshold。SometimesIthinkIhavebeenfoolish;andsometimesIknowthatIhavebeenverywise。Myreasonhasstoodfirm;howdoIknowthatitwouldhavedonesoifIhadsubjectedmyselftothepossiblediscoverythatoneofbothofthemmighthavebeensavedifIhaddisclosedinsteadofconcealedmyadventure。”

  Apauseduringwhichwhitehorrorhadshoneoneveryface;thenwithafinalglanceatViolet,hesaid:

  “Whatsequeldoyouseetothisstory,MissStrange?Icantellthepast,Ileaveyoutopicturethefuture。”

  Rising,shelethereyetravelfromfacetofacetillitrestedontheoneawaitingit,whensheanswereddreamily:

  “IfsomemorninginthenewscolumnthereshouldappearanaccountoftheancientandhistorichomeoftheVanBroecklynshavingburnedtothegroundinthenight,thewholecountrywouldmourn,andthecityfeeldefraudedofoneofitstreasures。Buttherearefivepersonswhowouldseeinitthesequelwhichyouaskfor。”

  Whenthishappened,asitdidhappen,somefewweekslater,theastonishingdiscoverywasmadethatnoinsurancehadbeenputuponthishouse。WhywasitthataftersuchalossMr。VanBroecklynseemedtorenewhisyouth?Itwasaconstantsourceofcommentamonghisfriends。

  ENDOFPROBLEMVIII

  PROBLEMIXVIOLET”SOWN

  “Ithasbeentoomuchforyou?“

  “Iamafraidso。”

  ItwasRogerUpjohnwhohadaskedthequestion;itwasVioletwhoanswered。Theyhadwithdrawnfromacrowdofdancerstoabalcony,half-shaded,halfopentothemoon,——abalconymade,itwouldseem,forjustsuchstoleninterviewsbetweenwaltzes。

  Now,asithappened,Roger”sfacewasintheshadow,butViolet”sinthefulllight。Verysweetitlooked,veryethereal,butalsoalittlewan。Henoticedthisandimpetuouslycried:

  “Youarepale;andyourhand!see,howittrembles!“

  Slowlywithdrawingitfromtherailwhereithadrested,shesentonequickglancehiswayand,inalowvoice,said:

  “Ihavenotsleptsincethatnight。”

  “Fourdays!“hemurmured。Then,afteramomentofsilence,“Youboreyourselfsobravelyatthetime,Ithought,orrather,I

  hoped,thatsuccesshadmadeyouforgetthehorror。Icouldnothavesleptmyself,ifIhadknown”

  “ItispartofthepriceIpay,“shebrokeingently。“Allgoodthingshavetobepaidfor。ButIsee——IrealizethatyoudonotconsiderwhatIamdoinggood。Thoughithelpsotherpeople——hashelpedyou——youwonderwhy,withalltheadvantagesIpossess,I

  shouldmeddlewithmatterssorepugnanttoawoman”snaturalinstincts。”

  Yes,hewondered。Thatwasevidentfromhissilence。Seeingherasshestoodthere,soquaintlypretty,sofeminineinlookandmanner——inshort,suchaflower——itwasbutnaturalthatheshouldmarvelattheincongruityshehadmentioned。

  “Ithasastrange,oddlook,“sheadmitted,afteramomentoftroubledhesitation。“Themostconsideratepersoncannotbutregarditasadisplayofegotismorofamostmercenaryspirit。

  ThechequeyousentmeforwhatIwasenabledtodoforyouinMassachusettstheonlyoneIhaveeverreceivedwhichIhavebeentemptedtorefuseshowstowhatextentyouratedmyhelpandmy——myexpectations。HadIbeenapoorgirlstrugglingforsubsistence,thisgenerositywouldhavewarmedmyheartasatokenofyourdesiretocutthatstruggleshort。Buttakenwithyourknowledgeofmyhomeanditsluxuries,ithasoftenmademewonderwhatyouthought。”

  “ShallItellyou?“

  Hehadsteppedforwardatthisquestionandhiscountenance,hithertoconcealed,becamevisibleinthemoonlight。Shenolongerrecognizedit。Transformedbyfeeling,itshonedownuponher,instinctwithallthatisfinestandbestinmasculinenature。Wasshereadyforthisrevelationofwhatshehadneverthelessdreamedofformanymorenightsthanfour?Shedidnotknow,andinstinctivelydrewherselfbacktillitwasshewhonowstoodinthesemi-obscuritymadebythedroopingvines。Fromthisretreat,shefalteredforthaverytremulousNo,whichinanothermomentwasdisavowedbyaYessofaintitwaslittlemorethanamurmur,followedbyastillfainter,Tellme。

  Buthedidnotseeminanyhastetoobey,sweetlyasherlow-

  tonedinjunctionmusthavesoundedinhisears。Onthecontrary,hehesitatedtospeak,growingpalereveryminuteashesoughttocatchaglimpseofherdowncastfacesotantalizinglyhiddenfromhim。Didsherecognizethenatureofthefeelingswhichheldhimback,orwasshesimplygatheringupsufficientcouragetopleadherowncause?Whateverherreason,itwasshe,nothe,whopresentlyspokesayingasifnotimehadelapsed:

  “Butfirst,IfeelobligedtoadmitthatitwasmoneyIwanted,thatIhadtohave。Notformyself。IlacknothingandcouldhavemoreifIwished。Fatherhasneverlimitedhisgenerosityinanymatteraffectingmyself,but”Shedrewadeepbreathand,comingoutoftheshadow,liftedafacetohimsochangedfromitsusualexpressionastomakehimstart。“Ihaveacauseatheart——onewhichshouldappealtomyfatheranddoesnot;andforthatpurposeIhavesacrificedmyself,inmanyways,though——

  thoughIhavenotdislikedmyworkuptothislastattempt。Notreally。Iwanttobehonestandsomustadmitthatmuch。Ihaveevengloriedquietlyandallbymyself,ofcourseoverthesolutionofamysterywhichnooneelseseemedabletopenetrate。

  Iammadethatway。Ihaveknowniteversince——butthatisastoryallbyitself。SomedayImaytellittoyou,butnotnow。”

  “No,notnow。”Theemphasissentthecolourintohercheekbutdidnotrelievehispallor。“MissStrange,Ihavealwaysfelt,eveninmyworstdays,thatthemanwhoforselfishendsbroughtawomanundertheshadowofhisownunhappyreputationwasamantobedespised。AndIthinksostill,andyet——andyet——nothingintheworldbutyourownwordorlookcanholdmebacknowfromtellingyouthatIloveyou——loveyounotwithstandingmyunworthypast,myscarringmemories,myallbutblastedhopes。Idonotexpectanyresponse;youareyoung;youarebeautiful;youaregiftedwitheverygrace;buttospeak,——tosayoverandoveragain,”Iloveyou,Iloveyou!”easesmyheartandmakesmyfuturemoreendurable。Oh,donotlookatmelikethatunless——

  unless”

  Butthebrightheaddidnotfall,northetendergazefalter;anddrivenoutofhimself,RogerUpjohnwasabouttosteppassionatelyforward,when,seizedbyfreshcompunction,hehoarselycried:

  “Itisnotright。Thebalancedipstoomuchmyway。Youbringmeeverything。Icangiveyounothingbutwhatyoualreadypossessabundance——love,andmoney。Besides,yourfather”

  Sheinterruptedhimwithaglanceatoncearchandearnest。

  “Ihadatalkwithfatherthismorning。Hecametomyroom,and——

  anditwasverynearbeingserious。SomeonehadtoldhimIwasdoingthingsontheslywhichhehadbetterlookinto;andofcourseheaskedquestionsand——andIansweredthem。Hewasn”tpleased——infacthewasverydispleased,——Idon”tthinkwecanblamehimforthat——butwehadnoopenbreakforIlovehimdearly,forallmyopposingways,andhesawthat,andithelped,thoughhedidsayafterIhadgivenmypromisetostopwhereI

  wasandnevertotakeupsuchworkagain,that”hereshestoleashylookatthefacebentsoeagerlytowardsher”thatIhadlostmysocialstatusandneedneverhopenowfortheattentionsof——of——well,ofsuchmenasheadmiresandputsfaithin。Soyousee,“herdimplesallshowing,“thatIamnotsuchaverygoodmatchforanUpjohnofMassachusetts,evenifhehasareputationtorecoverandanhonourablenametoachieve。Thescalehangsmoreevenlythanyouthink。”

  “Violet!“

  Amutuallook,amomentofperfectsilence,thenalowwhisper,airyasthebreathofflowersrisingfromthegardenbelow:“I

  haveneverknownwhathappinesswastillthismoment。Ifyouwilltakemewithmystoryuntold”

  “Takeyou!takeyou!“Theman”swholeyearningheart,thelossandbitternessofyears,thehopeandpromiseofthefuture,allspokeinthatlow,half-smotheredexclamation。Violet”sblushesfadedunderitsfervency,andonlyherspiritspoke,asleaningtowardshim,shelaidhertwohandsinhis,andsaidwithallawoman”searnestness:

  “IdonotforgetlittleRoger,orthefatherwhoIhopemayhavemanymoredaysbeforehiminwhichtobidgood-nighttothesea。

  Suchunionasoursmustbehallowed,becausewehavesomanypersonstomakehappybesidesourselves。”

  Theeveningbeforetheirmarriage,Violetputadozenfoldedsheetsofcloselywrittenpaperinhishand。Theycontainedherstory;letusreaditwithhim。

  DEARROGER,——

  Icouldnothavebeenmorethansevenyearsold,whenonenightI

  wokeupshivering,atthesoundofangryvoices。Aconversationwhichnochildshouldeverhaveheard,wasgoingonintheroomwhereIlay。Myfatherwastalkingtomysister——perhaps,youdonotknowthatIhaveasister;fewofmypersonalfriendsdo,——

  andtheterrorsheevincedIcouldwellunderstandbutnothiswordsnortherealcauseofhisdispleasure。

  Therearetimesevenyetwhenthepicture,forceduponmyinfantileconsciousnessatthatmomentoffirstawakening,comesbacktomewithallitsoriginalvividness。Therewasnolightintheroomsavesuchasthemoonmade;butthatwasenoughtorevealthepassionburninglyaliveineitherface,as,bendingtowardseachother,sheinsupplicationandheinatempestofwrathwhichknewnobounds,heutteredandshelistenedtowhatI

  nowknowtohavebeenaterriblearraignment。

  Imayhaveaninterestingcountenance;youhavetoldmesosometimes;butshe——shewasbeautiful。Myelderbytenyears,shehadstoodinmymother”ssteadtomeforalmostaslongasI

  couldremember,andasIsawherlovelyfeaturescontortedwithpainandherhandsextendedinadesperatepleatoonewhohadnevershownmeanythingbutlove,mythroatclosedsharplyandI

  couldnotcryoutthoughIwantedto,normoveheadorfootthoughIlongedwithallmyhearttoburymyselfinthepillows。

  ForthewordsIheardwereterrifying,littleasIcomprehendedtheirfullpurport。Hehadsurprisedhertalkingfromherwindowtosomeonedownbelow,andaftersayingcruelthingsaboutthat,heshoutedout:“Youhavedisgracedme,youhavedisgracedyourself,youhavedisgracedyourbrotherandyourlittlesister。

  WasitnotenoughthatyoushouldrefusetomarrythegoodmanI

  hadpickedoutforyou,thatyoushouldstooptothislow-downscoundrel——this”Ididnothearwhatelsehecalledhim,Iwaswonderingsotowhomshehadbeenstooping;Ihadneverseenherstoopexcepttotiemylittleshoes。

  Butwhenshecriedoutasshedidafteraninterval,“Ilovehim!

  Ilovehim!“thenIlistenedagain,forshespokeasthoughshewereindreadfulpain,andIdidnotknowthatlovingmadeoneillandunhappy。“AndIamgoingtomarryhim,“Iheardheradd,standingup,asshesaidit,verystraightandtall。

  Marry!Iknewwhatthatmeant。Alongaisleinachurch;womeninwhiteandbigmusicintheairbehind。Ihadbeenflower-girlataweddingonceandhadnotforgotten。Wehadhadicecreamandcakeand——

  Butmychildishthoughtsstoppedshortattheanswershereceivedandallthewordswhichfollowed——wordswhichburnedtheirwayintomyinfantilebrainandleftscorchedplacesinmymemorywhichwillneverbeeradicated。Hespokethem——spokethemall;

  sheneveransweredagainafterthatonce,andwhenhewasgonedidnotmoveforalongtimeandwhenshediditwastoliedown,stiffandstraight,justasshehadstood,onherbedalongsidemine。

  Iwasfrightened;sofrightened,mylittlebrassbedrattledunderme。Iwondershedidnothearit。Butsheheardnothing;

  andafterawhileshewassostillIfellasleep。ButIwokeagain。Somethinghothadfallenonmycheek。IputupmyhandtobrushitawayanddidnotknowevenwhenIfeltmyfingerswetthatitwasatearfrommysister-mother”seye。

  Forshewaskneelingthen;kneelingclosebesidemeandherarmwasovermysmallbody;andthebedwasshakingagainbutnotthistimewithmytremorsonly。AndIwassorryandcriedtoountilIdroppedofftosleepagainwithherarmstillpassionatelyembracingme。

  Inthemorning,shewasgone。

  ItmusthavebeenthatveryafternoonthatFathercameinwhereArthurandIweretryingtoplay,——trying,butnotquitesucceeding,forIhadbeentellingArthur,forwhomIhadagreatrespectinthosedays,whathadhappenedthenightbefore,andwehadbeenwonderinginourchildishwayiftherewouldbeaweddingafterall,andachurchfullofpeople,andflowers,andkissing,andlotsofgoodthingstoeat,andArthurhadsaidNo,itwastooexpensive;thatthatwaswhyFatherwassoangry;andcomfortedbytheassertion,Iwastakingupmydollagain,whenthedooropenedandFathersteppedin。

  Itwasagreatevent——anyvisitfromhimtothenursery——andwebothdroppedourtoysandstoodstaring,notknowingwhetherhewasgoingtobeniceandkindashesometimeswas,orscoldusasIhadheardhimscoldourbeautifulsister。

  Arthurshowedatoncewhathethought,forwithouttheleasthesitationhetooktheonestepwhichplacedhiminfrontofme,wherehestoodwaitingwithhistwolittlefistshangingstraightathissidesbutmanfullyclenchedinfullreadinessforattack。

  Thatthisdisplayofpigmychivalrywasnotquitewithoutitswarrantisevidenttomenow,forFatherdidnotlooklikehimselforactlikehimselfanymorethanhehadthenightbefore。

  However,wehadnocauseforfear。HavingnosuspicionofmyhavingbeenawakeduringhisterribleinterviewwithTheresa,hesawonlytwolonelyandforsakenchildren,interruptedintheirplay。

  CanIrememberwhathesaidtous?Notexactly,thoughArthurandIoftenwentoveritchokedwhispersinsomesecretnookofthedrearyoldhouse;buthismeaning——thatwetookinwellenough。

  Theresahadleftus。Shewouldnevercomeback。Wewerenottolookoutofthewindowforher,orruntothedoorwhenthebellrang。Ourmotherhadleftustoo,alongtimeago,andshelayinthecemeterywherewesometimescarriedflowers。Theresawasnotinthecemetery,butwemustthinkofherasthere;thoughnotasifshehadanyneedofflowers。Havingsaidthis,helookedatusquietlyforaminute。Arthurwastryingveryhardnottocry,butIwassobbinglikethelostchildIwas,withmycheekagainstthefloorwhereIhadthrownmyselfwhenhesaidthatawfulthingaboutthecemetery。Shethere!mysister-motherthere!Ithinkhefeltalittlesorryforme;forhehalfstoopedasiftoliftmeup。Buthestraightenedagainandsaidverysternly:

  “Now,children,listentome。WhenGodtakespeopletoheavenandleavesusonlytheircold,deadbodieswecarryflowerstotheirgravesandtalkaboutthemsomeifnotverymuch。Butwhenpeoplediebecausetheylovedarkwaysbetterthanlight,thenwedonotrememberthemwithgiftsandwedonottalkaboutthem。Yoursister”snamehasbeenspokenforthelasttimeinthishouse。

  You,Arthur,areoldenoughtoknowwhatImeanwhenIsaythatI

  willneverlistentoanotherwordaboutherfromeitheryouorVioletaslongasyouandIlive。Sheisgoneandnothingthatismineshallsheevertouchagain。

  Youhearme,Arthur;youhearme,Violet。Heedme,oryougotoo。”

  Hisaspectwasterrible,sowashispurpose;muchmoreterriblethanwerealizedatthetimewithourlimitedunderstandingandexperience。Later,wecametoknowthefullmeaningofthisblackdropwhichhadbeeninfusedintoourlives。Whenwesaweverypictureofherdestroyedwhichhadbeeninthehouse;hernamecutoutfromtheleavesofbooks;thelittletokensshehadgivenussurreptitiouslytakenaway,tillnotavestigeofheroncebelovedpresenceremained,webegantorealizethatwehadindeedlosther。

  Butchildrenasyoungaswewerethendonotlongretainthepoignancyoftheirfirstgriefs。GraduallymymemoriesofthatawfulnightceasedtodisturbmydreamsandIwassixteenbeforetheywereagainrecalledtomewithanyvividness,andthenitwasbyaccident。Ihadbeenstrollingthroughapicturegalleryandhadstoppedshorttostudymoreparticularlyonewhichhadespeciallytakenmyfancy。Thereweretwoladiessittingonabenchbehindmeandoneofthemwasevidentlyverydeaf,fortheirtalkwasloud,thoughIamsuretheydidnotmeanformetohear,fortheywerediscussingmyfamily。Thatis,oneofthemhadsaid:

  “That”sVioletStrange。Shewillneverbethebeautyhersisterwas;butperhapsthat”snottobedeplored。Theresamadeagreatmessofit。”

  “That”strue。IhearthatsheandtheSignorhavebeenseenlatelyhereintown。Inpoverty,ofcourse。Hehadn”tevenasmuchgoinhimastheordinarysinging-master。”

  IsupposeIshouldhavehurriedaway,andleftthisbarbedarrowtoranklewhereitfell。ButIcouldnot。IhadneverlearnedawordofTheresa”sfateandthatwordpoverty,provingthatshewasaliveandsuffering,heldmetomy,placetohearwhatmoretheymightsayofherwhoforyearshadbeenformeanindistinctfigurebathedincruelmoonlight。

  “IhaveneverapprovedofPeterStrange”sconductatthattime,“

  oneofthevoicesnowwenton。“Hedidn”thandleherright。Shehadalovelydispositionandwouldhavelistenedtohimhadhebeenmoregentlewithher。Butitisn”tinhim。Ihopethisone——

  “

  Ididn”theartheendofthat。Ihadnointerestinanythingtheymightsayaboutmyself。ItwasofherIwantedtohear,ofher。

  Weren”ttheygoingtosayanythingmoreaboutmypoorsister?

  Yes;itwasatopicwhichinterestedbothandpresentlyIheard:

  “He”llneverdoanythingforher,nomatterwhathappens;I”veheardhimsayso。AndLaurahasvowedthesame。”Lauraisouraunt。“Besides,Theresahasaprideofherownquiteequaltoherfather”s。Shewouldn”ttakeanythingfromhimnow。She”dratherstruggleon。I”mtold——Idon”tknowhowtrueitis——thatshe”sworkinginadepartmentstore;oneoftheSixthAvenueones。Oh,there”sMrs。Vandegraff!Don”tyouwanttospeaktoher?“

  Theymovedoff,leavingmestillgazingwithunseeingeyesatthepicturebeforewhichIstoodplanted,andsayingoverandoverinmonotonousiteration,“OneofthedepartmentstoresinSixthAvenue!OneofthedepartmentstoresinSixthAvenue!“

  Whichdepartmentstore?

  Imeanttofindout。

  IdonotknowwhetheruptillthenIhadhadtheleastconsciousnessofpossessingwhatiscalledthedetectiveinstinct。But,attheprospectofthisquest,somuchlikethatoftheproverbialneedleinahaystack,asIdidnotevenknowmysister”smarriednameandsomethingwithinmeforbademyaskingit,Iexperiencedanoddsenseofelationfollowedbyacertaintyofsuccesswhichinfiveminuteschangedmefromanirresponsiblegirltoawomanwithadeliberatepurposeinlife。

  Iamnotgoingtowritedownhereallthedetailsofthatsearch。

  SomedayImayrelatethemtoyou,butnotnow。Ilookedfirstforabeautifulwoman,forthestraight,slim,andexquisitecreatureIremembered。Ididnotfindher。ThenItriedanothercourse。Herfiguremighthavechangedinthetenyearswhichhadelapsed;somightherexpression。Iwouldlookforawomanwithbeautifuldarkeyes;timecouldnothavealteredthem。Ihadforgottentheeffectofconstantweeping。AndIsawmanyeyes,butnothers;nottheonesIhadseensmilinguponmeasIlayinmycribbeforethedaysIwasliftedtothedignityofthelittlebrassbed。SoIgavethatuptooandlistenedtotheinnervoicewhichsaid,“Youmustwaitforhertorecognizeyou。Youcanneverhopetorecognizeher。”AnditwasbyfollowingthisplanthatIfoundher。IhadarrangedtohavemynamespokenaloudateverycounterwhereIbargained;andoh,thebargainsIsought,andthegarmentsIhadtriedon!ButImadelittleprogressuntiloneday,aftermynamehadbeenutteredalittlelouderthanusualIsawawomanturnfromrearranginggownsonahanger,andgivemeonelook。

  Iutteredalowcryandsprangimpetuously,forward。Instantlysheturnedherbackandwentonhanging,ortryingtohangup,gownsontherackbeforeher。HadIbeenmistaken?Shewasnotthesisterofmydreams,buttherewassomethingfineinheroutline;somethingdistinguishedinthewayshecarriedherheadwhich——

  Nextminutemylastdoubtfled!Shehadfallenherlengthonthefloorandlaywithherfaceburiedinherhandsinadeadfaint。

  Oh,Roger,Roger,Roger!Ihadthatdearheadonmybreastinamoment。Italkedtoher,Iwhisperedprayersinherunconsciousear。IdideverythingIshouldnothavedonetilltheyallthoughtmedemented。Whenshecameto,asshedidunderotherministrationsthanmine,Iwasforcarryingheroffinmylimousine。Butsheshookherheadwithagestureofsuchdisapproval,thatIrealizedIcouldnotdothat。Thelimousinewasmyfather”s,andnothingofhiswasevertobeusedforheragain。Iwouldcallacab;butshetoldmethatshehadnotthemoneytopayforitandshewouldnottakemine。Carfareshehad;

  fivecentswouldtakeherhome。Ineednotworry。

  ShesmiledasshesaidthisandforaninstantIsawmydream-

  sisteragaininthiswearyhalf-disheartenedwoman。Butthesmilewasafleetingone,forthiswastobeherlastdayinthestore;

  shehadnotalentasasaleswomanandwasmerelyworkingoutherweek。

  Ifeltmyheartsinkheavilyatthis,fortheevidencesofpovertywereplainlytobeseeninherclothesandthethinnessofherfaceandfigure。HowcouldIhelp?WhatcouldIdo?Itookhertoarestaurantforfoodandtalk,andbeforeshewouldorder,shelookedintoherpurse,withtheresultthatwehadonlyalittletoastandtea。ItwasallshecouldaffordandI,withahundreddollarsinbillsatthatmomentinmybag,couldnotofferheranythingmorethoughshewasneedingnourishmentanddishespiledwithsavourymeatsweregoingbyuseverymoment。

  Ithink,ifshehadletme,Iwouldhavedaredmyfather”sdispleasureandbeendisobedienttohiswishesbygivingheronewholesomemeal。Butshewasasresoluteofmindashe,and,asshesaidafterwards,hadchosenhercourseinlifeandmustabidebyit。Myloveshewouldaccept。Ittooknothingfromfatherandgaveherwhatherheartwaspiningfor——hadpinedforforyears。

  Butnothingmore——notanotherthingmore。Shewouldnotevenletmegohomewithher;andIknewwhywhenhereyesfellatthesearchinglookIgaveher。Somethingwouldturnup,andwhenherhusband”shealthwasbetterandshehadfoundanotherpositionshewouldsendmeheraddressandthenIcouldcomeandseeher。

  AswewalkedoutoftherestaurantweranagainstagentlemanI

  knew。Hestoppedmeforapassingwordandinthatminuteshedisappeared。Ididnottrytofollowher。Icouldgetherstreetandnumberfromthestorewhereshehadworked。

  ButwhenIhaddonethisandembracedthefirstopportunitywhichofferedtovisither,Ifoundthatshehadmovedawayintheinterim,leavingeverythingbehindinpaymentofherrent,exceptsuchsmallthingsassheandherhusbandcouldcarry。Thiswasdiscouragingasitleftmewithoutanycluebywhichtofollowthem。ButIwasdeterminednottoyieldtoherdesireforconcealmentinthedifficultanddishearteningtaskInowsawbeforeme。

  Seekingadvicefromthemanwhohassincebecomemyemployer,I

  entereduponthissecondsearchwithaquietresolutionwhichadmittedofnodefeat。Ittookmesixmonths,butIfinallyfoundher,andsatisfiedwithknowingwhereshewas,desistedfromrushinginuponher,tillIhadcaughtoneglimpseofherhusbandwhom,inthelastsixmonths,Ihadhearddescribedbuthadneverseen。Tounderstandher,itwasperhapsnecessarytounderstandhim,andifIcouldnothopetodothisoffhand,Icouldnotfailtogetsomeideaofthemanfromeventhemostcasuallook。

  Hewas,asIsoonlearned,thefetcherandcarrierofthesmallmenage;andthedaycamewhenImethimfacetofaceinthestreetwheretheylived。Didhedisappointme;ordidIseesomethinginhisappearancetojustifyherdesertionofherfather”shomeandherpresentlifeofpoverty?IfIsayYestothefirstquestion,Imustalsosayittothelast。Ifhandsomeonce,hewasnothandsomenow;butwithapersonalitysuchashis,thisdidnotmatter。Hehadthatbetterthing——thatgreatestgiftofthegods——charm。Itwasinhisbearing,hismovement,theregardofhiswearyeye;morethanthatitwasinhisverynatureoritwouldhavevanishedlongagounderdisappointmentandprivation。

  Butthatwasalltherewastotheman,——agoldennetinwhichmysister”syouthfulfancyhadbeencaughtandnodoubtheldmeshedtothisveryday。Ifeltlesslikeblamingherforherfolly,afterthatinstant”sviewofhimaswepassedeachotherinthestreet。But,asItooktimetothink,Ifoundmyselfgrowingsorrierandsorrierforherandyet,inaway,gladderandgladder,forthemanwasaphysicalwreckandwouldsoonpassoutofherlifeleavinghertomyloveandpossiblytoourfather”sforgiveness。

  ButIdidnotknowTheresa。Afterherhusband”sdeath,whichoccurredverysoon,sheletmecometoherandwehadalongtalk——

  ShallIeverforgetitorthesightofherbeautyinthatsordidroom?For,accountforitasyouwill,thelovelinesswhichhadfledunderhersenseofcompleteisolationhadslowlyregaineditsownwiththerecognitionthatshestillhadaplaceintheheartofherlittlesister。Noteventhesorrowshefeltforthelossofhersufferinghusband——andshedidmournhim;thisIamgladtosay——couldmorethantemporarilystaythis。Sixmonthsofeaseandwholesomefoodwouldmakeher——Ihardlydaredtothinkwhat。ForIknew,withoutaskingher,orshetellingme,thatshewouldacceptneither;thatshewasasdeterminednow,aseverthatnothingwhichcamedirectlyorindirectlyfromFathershouldgototherebuildingofherlife。ThatsheintendedtostartanewandworkherwayuptoaplacewhereIshouldbegladtoseehershedidsay。Butnothingmore。Shewasstillthesister-mother,loving,butsufficienttoherself,thoughshehadbuttendollarsleftintheworld,assheshowedmewithasmilethatmadeherbeautifulasanangel。

  Icanseethatshabbylittlepurseyetwithitsonepoorgreasybill;——asumtoherbuttomethepriceofaluncheonoragiftofflowers。HowIlonged,asIlookedatittoteareveryjewelfrommypoor,bedeckedbodyandflingthemoneandallintoherlap。Ihadworntheminprofusion,thoughcarefullyhiddenundermycoat,inthehopethatshewouldacceptoneofthematleast,Butsherefusedall,evensuchashadbeengiftsoffriendsandschoolmates,onlyhumouringmethisfar,thatsheletmehangthemforafewminutesaboutherneckandinherhairandthenpullthemalloffagain。Butthisonevisionofherinthesplendourshewasborntocomfortedme。HenceforthinwearingthemitwouldbeofherandnotofmyselfIshouldthink。

  Well,IhadtoleaveherandgohometomyFrenchandItalianlessons,mymusic-mastersandalltheluxuriesofourfather”shouse。ShouldIeverseeheragain?Ididnotknow;shehadnotpromised。Icouldnotgooftenintothequarterwhereshelived,withoutrousingsuspicion;andshehadbiddenmenottocomeagainforamonth。SoIwaited,halffearingshewouldflitagainbeforethemonthwasup。Butshedidnot。Shewasstilltherewhen——

  ButIamgoingtoofast。ThemeetingIwasabouttomentionwasaverymemorableonetome,andImustdescribeitfromthebeginning。IhadriddeninmyowncarasnearasIdaredtothestreetwhereshelived;therestofthewayIwentonfootwithoneoftheservants——anewone——followingclosebehindme。Iwasnotexactlyafraid,buttheactionsofsomeofthepeopleIhadencounteredatmyformervisitwarnedmetobealittlecarefulformyfather”ssakeifnotformyown。Herroom——shehadbutone——

  washighupinatriangularcourtitwasnopleasuretoenter。

  Butloveandloyaltyheednothingbuttheobjectsought,andI

  washuntingaboutforthedarkdoorwaywhichopeneduponthestaircaseleadingtoherroomwhen——andthiswasthegreatmomentofmylife——asuddenstreamofmelodyfloateddownintothatnoisomecourt,whichfromitsclearness,itsaccuracy,itsrichness,anditsfeelingstartledmeasIhadneverbeforebeenstartledevenbythefirstnotesoftheworld”sgreatestsingers。

  Whatavoiceforaplacelikethis!Whatavoiceforanyplace!

  Whosecoulditbe?Withastart,Istoppedshort,inthemiddleofthatcourt,heedlessofthecrowdofpushing,shoutingchildrenwhoatoncegatheredaboutme。Ihadbeenstruckbyanoldrecollection。Mysisterusedtosing。Irememberedwhereherpianohadstoodinthegreatdrawing-room。Ithadbeencartedawayduringthosedreadfulweeksandhermusicallburned;butthevisionofhergracefulfigurebendingoverthekeyboardwasonenottobeforgottenevenbyathoughtlesschild。Coulditbe——

  oh,heaven!ifthisvoicewerehers!Herfuturewascertain;shehadbuttosing。

  InatransportofhopeIrushedforthedimentrancethechildrenhadpointedoutandflewuptoherroom。AsIreachedit,IheardatrillasperfectasTetrazzini”s。ThesingerwasTheresa;therecouldbenomoredoubt。Theresa!exercisingagrandvoiceasonlyagreatartistwouldorcould。

  Thejoyofitmademealmostfaint。Ileanedagainstherdoorandsobbed。ThenwhenIthoughtIcouldspeakquitecalmly,Iwentin。

  Roger,youmustunderstandmenow,——mydesireformoneyandthemeansIhavetakentoobtainit。Mysisterhadthemakingsofaprima-donna。Herhusband,ofwhoseabilityIhadformedsolowanestimate,hadtrainedherwithconsummateskillandjudgment。Allsheneededwasayearwithsomegreatmaestrointheforeignatmosphereofart。Butthismeantmoney——nothundredsbutthousands,andtheonesuresourcetowhichwemightrightfullylookforanysuchamountwaseffectuallyclosedtous。Itistruewehadrelatives——anauntonourmother”sside,andImentionedhertoTheresa。Butshewouldnotlistentothesuggestion。Shewouldtakenothingfromanyonewhomshewouldfindithardtofaceincaseoffailure。Lovemustgowithanadvanceinvolvingsomuchrisk;lovedeepenoughandstrongenoughtofeelnolosssavethatofadefeatedhope。Inshort,tobeacceptable,themoneymustcomefromme,andasthiswasmanifestlyimpossible,sheconsideredthematterclosedandbegantotalkofapositionshehadbeenofferedinsomechoir。Ilethertalk,listeningandnotlistening;fortheideahadcometomethatifinsomewayI

  couldearnmoney,shemightbeinducedtotakeit。Finally,I

  askedher。Shelaughed,lettingherkissesanswerme。ButIdidnotlaugh。Ifshehadcapabilitiesinoneway,Ihadtheminanother。

  Iwenthometothink。

  Twoweekslater,Ibegan,inaveryquietwaytodocertainworkforthemanwhohadhelpedmeinmysecondsearchforTheresa。

  ThemoneyIhaveearnedhasbeenimmense;sinceitwastroublesoftherichIwasgiventosettle,andIwasalmostalwayssuccessful。Everycenthasgonetoher。ShehasbeeninEuropeforayearandlastweekshemadeherdebut。Youreadaboutitinthepapers,butneitheryounoranyoneelseinthiscountrybutmyselfknewthatunderthenameshechosentoassume,TheresaStrange,thelongforgottenbeauty,hasrecoveredthatplaceintheworld,towhichherloveandgeniusentitleher。

  Thisismystoryandhers。Fromnowon,youarethethirdinthesecret。Someday,myfatherwillbethefourth。Ithinkthen,anewdawnoflovewillariseforusall,whichwillstaythewhiteningofhisdearhead——forIbelieveinhimafterall。

  Yesterdaywhenhepassedthewallwhereherpictureoncehung——

  nootherhaseverhungthere——Isawhimstopandlookup,and,Roger,whenhepassedmeaminutelater,therewasatearinhishardeye。

  End

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