“Youneedn”tbeworriedaboutbeingseenwithme，nomatterhowhighyou”reflying，“hehastenedtosay。“Ialwaysdidkeepmyselfingoodconditionfortherise。Nothing”sknownaboutmeoreverwillbe。”
Thegirlwassmilingathimagain。“Iwasn”tthinkingofthosethings，“saidshe。“I”veneverbeentotheBrevoort。”
“It”squietandrespectable。”
Susan”seyestwinkled。“I”mgladit”srespectable，“saidshe。
“Areyouquitesure_you_canaffordtobeseenwith_me？_It”struetheydon”tmakethefussaboutrightandwrongsideofthelinethattheydidafewyearsago。They”vegottenametropolitanmorality。Still——I”mnotrespectableandnevershallbe。”
“Don”tbetoohastyaboutthat，“protestedhe，gravely。“Butwaittillyouhearmyproposition。”
AstheywalkedthroughWestNinthStreetshenotedthattherewasmoreofaphysicalchangeinhimthanshehadseenatfirstglance。Hewaslessathletic，heavierofformandhisfacewasfuller。“Youdon”tkeepinasgoodtrainingasyouused，“saidshe。
“It”sthoseinfernalautomobiles，“criedhe。“They”redeathtofigure——tohealth，forthatmatter。ButI”vegotthehabit，andIdon”tsupposeI”lleverbreakmyselfofit。I”vetakenontwentypoundsinthepastyear，andI”vegotmyselfsoupsetthatthedoctorhasorderedmeabroadtotakeacure。
Thenthere”schampagne。Ican”tletthatalone，either，thoughIknowit”splainpoison。”
AndwhentheywereintherestaurantoftheBrevoortheinsistedonorderingchampagne——andleftherforamomenttotelephoneforhisautomobile。Itamusedhertoseeamansomasterfulthuspettilyenslaved。Shelaughedathim，andheagaindenouncedhimselfasaweakfool。“Moneyandluxuryaretoomuchforme。Theyareforeverybody。I”mnotasstrongwilledasIusedtobe，“hesaid。“Anditmakesmeuneasy。
That”sanotherreasonformyproposition。”
“Well——let”shearit，“saidshe。“IhappentobeinapositionwhereI”mfondofhearingpropositions——evenifI
havenointentionofaccepting。”
Shewaswatchinghimnarrowly。TheFreddiePalmerhewasshowingtoherwasasurprisingbutperfectlylogicaldevelopmentofasideofhischaracterwithwhichshehadbeenfamiliarintheolddays；shewaswatchingforthatotherside——thesinisterandcruelside。“Butfirst，“hewenton，“Imusttellyoualittleaboutmyself。IthinkItoldyouonceaboutmymotherandfather？“
“Iremember，“saidSusan。
“Well，honestly，doyouwonderthatIwaswhatIusedtobe？“
“No，“sheanswered。“Iwonderthatyouarewhatyou_seem_tobe。”
“WhatIcomeprettynearbeing，“criedhe。“Thepartthat”smoreorlessputontodayisgoingtobetherealthingtomorrow。That”sthewayitiswithlife——youputonathing，andgraduallylearntowearit。And——Iwantyoutohelpme。”
Therefellsilencebetweenthem，hegazingathisglassofchampagne，turningitroundandroundbetweenhislongwhitefingersandwatchingthebubblesthrongriotouslyupfromthebottom。“Yes，“hesaidthoughtfully，“Iwantyoutohelpme。I”vebeenwaitingforyou。Iknewyou”dturnupagain。”Helaughed。“I”vebeentruetoyouinaway——aman”sway。I”vehuntedthetownforwomenwhosuggestedyou——apoorsortofmakeshift——but——Ihadtodosomething。”
“Whatwereyougoingtotellme？“
Hertonewasbusiness-like。Hedidnotresentit，butstraightwayacquiesced。“I”llplungerightin。I”vebeen，asyouknow，abadone——badallmylife。Iwasbornbad。Youknowaboutmymotherandfather。Oneofmysistersdiedinadisreputableresort。Theother——well，thelastIheardofher，shewasdoingtimeinanEnglishpen。I”vegotabrother——he”sadegenerate。Well！——nottolingeroverrottensmells，Iwastheonlyoneofthefamilythathadbrains。I
soonsawthateverybodywhogetsonintheworldisbad——whichsimplymeansdoingdisturbingthingsofonekindandanother。
AndIsawthattheordinarycrookslettheirbadnessruntheirbrains，whiletheget-onkindofpeoplelettheirbrainsruntheirbadness。Youcanberotten——andsinklowerandlowereveryday。Oryoucangratifyyournaturaltasteforrottennessandatthesametimegetupintheworld。Imadeupmymindtodotherottenthingsthatgetamanmoneyandpower。”
“Respectability，“saidSusan。
“Respectabilityexactly。SoIsetouttoimprovemybrains。
Iwenttonightschoolandreadandstudied。AndIdidn”tstayaprivateinthegangoftoughs。Ihadthebrainstobeleader，buttheleader”sgottobeafightertoo。Itookupboxingandmadegoodinthering。Igottobeleader。ThenIpushedmywayupwhereIthoughtoutthedirtyworkfortheotherstodo，andIstayedundercoverandmade”embringthebigshareoftheprofitstome。AndtheydiditbecauseIhadthebrainstothinkoutjobsthatpaidwellandthatcouldbepulledoffwithoutgettingpinched——atleast，notalwaysgettingpinched。”
Palmersippedhischampagne，lookedathertoseeifshewasappreciative。“Ithoughtyou”dunderstand，“saidhe。“I
needn”tgointodetails。Yourememberaboutthewomen？“
“Yes，Iremember，“saidSusan。“Thatwasonestepintheladderup？“
“Itgotmethemoneytomakemyfirstplayforrespectability。
Icouldn”thavegotitanyotherway。Ihadextravaganttastes——andtheleaderhastobealwaysgivinguptohelpthisfellowandthatoutofthehole。AndIneverdidhaveluckwiththecardsandthehorses。”
“Whydidyouwanttoberespectable？“sheasked。
“Becausethat”sthebestgraft，“explainedhe。“Itmeansthemostmoney，andthemostinfluence。Thecoyotesthatraidthesheepfolddon”tgetthebigshare——thoughtheymaygetagooddeal。No，it”stheshepherdsandtheownersthatpulloffthemost。I”vebeenleaderofcoyotes。I”mgraduatingintoshepherdandproprietor。”
“Isee，“saidSusan。“Youmakeitbeautifullyclear。”
Hebowedandsmiled。“Thankyou，kindly。Then，I”llgoon。
I”mdeepinthecontractingbusinessnow。I”vegotapotofmoneyputaway。I”vecutoutthecards——exceptalittlegentlemen”sgamenowandthen，tohelpmeonwiththerightkindofpeople。Horses，thesameway。I”vegotmypoliticalpullcopper-riveted。It”sasgoodwiththeRepublicansaswithDemocrats，andasgoodwiththereformcrowdaswitheither。Mynextmoveistocutloosefromthegang。I”veputalotoflieutenantsbetweenmeandthem，insteadofdealingwiththemdirect。I”mputtinginseveralmorefellowsI”mnotashamedtobeseenwithinDelmonico”s。”
“What”sbecomeofJim？“askedSusan。
“Dead——akikeshothimalltopiecesinajointinSeventhAvenueaboutamonthago。AsIwassaying，howdothesebigmulti-millionairesdothetrick？Theydon”ttellsomebodytogostealwhattheyhappentowant。Theytellsomebodytheywantit，andthatsomebodyelsetellssomebodyelsetogetit，andthatsomebodyelsepassesthewordalonguntilitreachesthepoordevilswhomuststealitorlosetheirjobs。I
studieditallout，andI”veframedupmygamethesameway。
Nowadays，everydollarthatcomestomehasbeenthoroughlycleanedlongbeforeitdropsintomypocket。Butyou”rewonderingwhere_you_comein。”
“Womenareonlyinterestedinwhat”scomingtothem，“saidSusan。
“Sensiblemenarethesameway。Themenwhoaren”t——theyworkforwagesandsalaries。Ifyou”regoingtoliveoffofotherpeople，aswomenandtherichdo，you”vegottostandsteady，dayandnight，forNumberOne。Andnow，here”swhere_you_
comein。You”venoobjectiontobeingrespectable？“
“I”venoobjectiontonotbeingdisreputable。”
“That”stherightwaytoputit，“hepromptlyagreed。
“Respectable，youknow，doesn”tmeananythingbutappearances。
Peoplewhoarereallyrespectable，wholetitstrikein，insteadofkeepingitontheoutsidewhereitbelongs——theysoongetpooranddropdownandout。”
Palmer”srevelationofhimselfandofaphilosophywhichlifeasithadrevealeditselftoherwasincessantlyurginghertoadoptsograppledherattentionthatshealtogetherforgotherself。Amanonhiswaytothescaffoldwhosuddenlyseesandfeelsacataclysmrockingtheworldabouthimforgetshisownplight。Unconsciouslyhewasepitomizing，unconsciouslyshewaslearning，thewholestoryoftheprogressoftheraceupwardfrombeasttowardintellect——thebrutalandbloodybuildingofthehighwayfromthecavesofdarknesstowardthepeaksoflight。Thesourcefromwhichsprings，andeverhassprung，thecrueltyofmantowardmanisthestruggleoftheambitionofthefewwhoseeandinsistuponbetterconditions，withtheinertiaandincompetenceofthemanywhohavelittlesightandlessimagination。Ambitionmustusetheinertmass——mustpersuadeit，ifpossible，mustcompelitbytrickorforceifpersuasionfails。ButPalmerandSusanLenoxwere，naturally，notseeingthethinginthebroadbutonlyasitappliedtothemselves。
“I”vereadawholelotofhistoryandbiography，“Freddiewenton，“andI”vethoughtaboutwhatIreadandaboutwhat”sgoingonaroundme。Itellyoutheworld”sfullofcant。Thepeoplewhogettheredon”tactonwhatisalwayspreached。
Thepreachingisn”talllies——atleast，Ithinknot。Butitdoesn”tfitthefactsamanorawomanhasgottomeet。”
“Irealizedthatlongago，“saidSusan。
“There”sasayingthatyoucan”ttouchpitchwithoutbeingdefiled。Well——youcan”tbuildwithouttouchingpitch——atleastnotinaworldwheremoney”skingandwherethosewithbrainshavetoliveoffofthosewithoutbrainsbymaking”emworkandshowing”emwhattoworkat。It”sahellofaworld，but__I__didn”tgetitup。”
“Andwe”vegottoliveinit，“saidshe，“andgetoutofitthethingswewantandneed。”
“That”sthetalk！“criedPalmer。“Iseeyou”re`on。”Now——tomakealongstoryshort——youandIcangetwhatwewant。Wecanhelpeachother。YouwerebetterbornthanIam——you”vehadabettertraininginmannersanddressandalltheclassysortofthings。I”vegotthemoney——andbrainsenoughtolearnwith——andIcanhelpyouinvariousways。So——Iproposethatwegouptogether。”
“We”vegot——pasts，“saidSusan。
“Whohasn”tthatamountstoanything？Mightyfew。Noonethat”smadehisownpile，I”llbetyou。
I”minapositiontodofavorsforpeople——thepeoplewe”dneed。AndI”llgetinapositiontodomoreandmore。Aslongastheycanmakesomethingoutofus——orhopeto——doyousupposethey”llnoseintoourpastsandrootthingsupthat”dinjurethemasmuchasus？“
“Itwouldbeaninterestinggame，wouldn”tit？“saidSusan。
Shewasreflectivelyobservingthehandsome，earnestfacebeforeher——anincarnationofintelligentambition，aFreddiePalmerwhowassomehowdivestinghimselfofhimself——wasgrowingup——awayfromtherottensoilthathadnourishedhim——upintotheair——wasgrowingstrongly——yes，splendidly！
“Andwe”vegoteverythingtogainandnothingtolose，“
pursuedhe。“We”dnotbeadventurers，yousee。Adventurersarepeoplewhohaven”tanymoneyandarelookingroundtotrytostealit。We”dhavemoney。So，we”dbebuildingsolid，rightontherock。”Thehandsomeyoungman——thestrongest，themostintelligent，themostpurposefulshehadevermet，exceptpossiblyBrent——lookedatherwithanadmiringtendernessthatmovedher，theforlornderelictadriftonthevast，lonely，treacheroussea。“ThereasonI”vewaitedforyoutoinviteyouinonthisschemeisthatItriedyououtandIfoundthatyoubelongtothemightyfewpeoplewhodowhattheysaythey”lldo，goodbargainorbad。It”dneveroccurtoyoutoshuffleoutoftryingtokeepyourword。”
“Ithasn”t——sofar，“saidSusan。
“Well——that”stheonlysortofthingworthtalkingaboutasmorality。Believeme，forI”vebeenthroughthewholegamefromchimneypotstocellarfloor。”
“There”sanotherthing，too，“saidthegirl。
“What”sthat？“
“Nottoinjureanyoneelse。”
Palmershookhisheadpositively。“It”sbelievingthatandactingonitthathaskeptyoudowninspiteofyourbrainsandlooks。”
“ThatIshallneverdo，“saidthegirl。“Itmaybeweakness——Iguessitisweakness。But——Idrawthelinethere。”
“ButI”mnotproposingthatyouinjureanyone——orproposingtodoitmyself。AsIsaid，I”vegotupwhereIcanaffordtobegoodandkindandallthat。AndI”mwillingtojumpyouupoverthestretchoftheclimbthatcan”tbecrossedwithoutbeing——well，anythingbutgoodandkind。”
Shewasreflecting。
“You”llnevergetoverthatstretchbyyourself。It”llalwaysturnyouback。”
“Justwhatdoyoupropose？“sheasked。
Itgaveherpleasuretoseethekeendelightherquestion，withitsimplicationofhope，arousedinhim。Saidhe：
“ThatwegotoEuropetogetherandstayoverthereseveralyears——aslongasyoulikeaslongasit”snecessary。Staytillourpastshavedisappeared——workourselvesinwiththerightsortofpeople。Yousayyou”renotmarried？“
“NottothemanI”mwith。”
“Tosomebodyelse？“
“Idon”tknow。Iwas。”
“Well——that”llbelookedintoandstraightenedout。Andthenwe”llquietlymarry。”
Susanlaughed。“You”retoofast，“saidshe。“I”lladmitI”minterested。I”vebeenlookingforaroad——onethatdoesn”tleadtowardwherewe”vecomefrom。Andthisisthefirstroadthathasoffered。ButIhaven”tagreedtogoinwithyouyet——haven”tevenbeguntothinkitover。AndifIdidagree——whichIprobablywon”t——why，stillI”dnotbewillingtomarry。That”saseriousmatter。I”dwanttobevery，verysureIwassatisfied。”
Palmernodded，withareturnofthelookofadmiration。“I
understand。Youdon”tpromiseuntilyouintendtostick，andonceyou”vepromisedallhellcouldn”tchangeyou。”
“Anotherthing——veryunfortunate，too。ItlookstomeasifI”dbedependentonyouformoney。”
Freddie”seyeswavered。“Oh，we”dneverquarrelaboutthat，“
saidhewithanattemptatcarelessconfidence。
“No，“repliedshequietly。“Forthebestofreasons。I”dnotconsidergoingintoanyarrangementwhereI”dbedependentonamanformoney。I”vehadmyexperience。I”velearnedmylesson。IfIlivedwithyouseveralyearsinthesortofstyleyou”vesuggested——no，notseveralyearsbutafewmonths——you”dhavemeabsolutelyatyourmercy。You”dthoughtofthat，hadn”tyou？“
Hissmilewasconfession。
“I”ddeveloptastesforluxuriesandthey”dbecomenecessities。”Susanshookherhead。“No——thatwouldbefoolish——veryfoolish。”
Hewaswatchinghersokeenlythathisexpressionwascovertsuspicion。“Whatdoyousuggest？“heasked。
“Notwhatyoususpect，“repliedshe，amused。“I”mnotmakingaplayforagiftofafortune。Ihaven”tanythingtosuggest。”
Therewasalongsilence，heturninghisglassslowlyandfromtimetotimetakingalittleofthechampagnethoughtfully。
Sheobservedhimwithaquizzicalexpression。Itwasapparenttoherthathewasdebatingwhetherhewouldbemakingafoolofhimselfifheofferedheranindependenceoutright。
Finallyshesaid：
“Don”tworry，Freddie。I”dnottakeit，evenifyouscrewedyourselfuptothepointofofferingit。”
Heglancedupquicklyandguiltily。“Whynot？“hesaid。
“You”dbepracticallymywife。Icantrustyou。You”vehadexperience，soyoucan”tblamemeforhesitating。Moneyputsthedevilinanybodywhogetsit——manorwoman。ButI”lltrustyou——”helaughed”sinceI”vegotto。”
“No。ThemostI”dtakewouldbeasalary。I”dbeasortofcompanion。”
“Anythingyoulike，“criedhe。Thislastsuspicionbornofalifeofintimatedealingswithhisfellow-beingstookflight。
“It”dhavetobeabigsalarybecauseyou”dhavetodressandactthepart。Whatdoyousay？Isitago？“
“Oh，Ican”tdecidenow。”
“When？“
Shereflected。“Icantellyouinaweek。”
Hehesitated，said，“Allright——aweek。”
Sherosetogo。“I”vewarnedyouthechancesareagainstmyaccepting。”
“That”sbecauseyouhaven”tlookedthegroundover，“repliedhe，rising。Then，afteranervousmoment，“Isthe——isthe——”
Hestoppedshort。
“Goon，“saidshe。“Wemustbefrankwitheachother。”
“Iftheideaoflivingwithmeis——isdisagreeable——”Andagainhestopped，greatlyembarrassed——anamazingindicationofthestateofmindofsuchamanashe——ofthedepthofhisinfatuation，ofhisrespect，ofhisnew-sprungaweofconventionality。
“Ihadn”tgivenitathought，“repliedshe。“Womenarenotespeciallysensitiveaboutthatsortofthing。”
“They”resupposedtobe。AndIratherthoughtyouwere。”
Shelaughedmockingly。“Nomorethanotherwomen，“saidshe。
“Lookhowtheymarryforahome——ormoney——orsocialposition——andsuchmen！Andlookhowtheylivewithmenyearafteryear，hatingthem。Mennevercoulddothat。”
“Don”tyoubelieveit，“repliedhe。“Theycan，andtheydo。
Thekeptman——inandoutofmarriage——isquiteafeatureoflifeinourchastelittlevillage。”
Susanlookedamused。“Well——whynot？“saidshe。“Everybody”ssimplygottohavemoneynowadays。”
“Andworkingforitisslowandmightyuncertain。”
Herfaceclouded。Shewasseeingthesadwretchedpastfromfilthytenementtofoulworkshop。Shesaid：
“WhereshallIsendyouword？“
“I”veanapartmentatSherry”snow。”
“Then——aweekfromtoday。”
Sheputoutherhand。Hetookit，andshemarveledasshefeltatremorinthatsteadyhandofhis。Buthisvoicewasresolutelycarelessashesaid，“Solong。Don”tforgethowmuchIwantorneedyou。Andifyoudoforgetthat，thinkoftheadvantages——seeingtheworldwithplentyofmoney——andalltherestofit。Where”llyougetsuchanotherchance？You”llnotbefoolenoughtorefuse。”
Shesmiled，saidasshewent，“YoumayrememberIusedtobesomethingofafool。”
“Butthatwassometimeago。You”velearnedalotsincethen——surely。”
“We”llsee。I”vebecome——Ithink——agooddealofa——ofaNewYorker。”
“Thatmeansfrankaboutdoingwhattherestoftheworlddoesunderastackoflies。It”salovelyworld，isn”tit？“
“IfIhadmadeit，“laughedSusan，“I”dnotownuptothefact。”
Shelaughed；butshewasseeingtheoldwomenoftheslums——wasseeingthemasoneseesinthemagicmirrorthevisionofone”sfutureself。Andonthewayhomeshesaidtoherself，“ItwasagoodthingthatIwasarrestedtoday。Itremindedme。Itwarnedme。Butforit，Imighthavegoneontomakeafoolofmyself。”AndsherecalledhowithadbeenoneofBurlingham”sfavoritemaximsthateverythingisforthebest，forthosewhoknowhowtouseit。XVIII
SHEwroteGarveyaskinganappointment。Thereplyshouldhavecomethenextdayorthenextdaybutoneatthefarthest；forGarveyhadbeentrainedbyBrenttothesupremecourtesyofpromptness。Itdidnotcomeuntilthefourthday；beforesheopeneditSusanknewaboutwhatshewouldread——thestupidlyobviousattempttoputofffacingher——thecowardiceofakind-hearted，weakfellow。Shereallyhadheranswer——wasleftwithoutadoubtforhopetoperchupon。Butshewroteagain，insistingsosharplythathecamethefollowingday。
Hislarge，tell-talefacewasarestatementofwhatshehadreadinhisdelayandbetweenthelinesofhisnote。Hewaseffusivelyfriendlywithasortofmortuarysuggestion，likeonebearingcondolences，thattickledhersenseofhumor，farthoughherheartwasfrommirth。
“Somethinghashappened，“beganshe，“thatmakesitnecessaryformetoknowwhenMr。Brentiscomingback。”
“Really，Mrs。Spencer——”
“MissLenox，“shecorrected。
“Yes——MissLenox，Ibegyourpardon。Butreally——inmyposition——IknownothingofMr。Brent”splans——andifIdid，I”dnotbeatlibertytospeakofthem。Ihavewrittenhimwhatyouwrotemeaboutthecheck——and——and——thatisall。”
“Mr。Garvey，isheever——hashe——”Susan，desperate，burstoutwithmorethansheintendedtosay：“Icarenothingaboutit，onewayortheother。IfMr。BrentispolitelyhintingthatIwon”tdo，I”vearighttoknowit。Ihaveachanceatsomethingelse。Can”tyoutellme？“
“Idon”tknowanythingaboutit——honestlyIdon”t，MissLenox，“criedhe，swearingprofusely。
“Youputanaccentonthe`know”“saidSusan。“YoususpectthatI”mright，don”tyou？“
“I”venogroundforsuspecting——thatis——no，Ihaven”t。Hesaidnothingtome——nothing。Butheneverdoes。He”sverypeculiaranduncertain……andIdon”tunderstandhimatall。”
“Isn”tthishisusualwaywiththefailures——hiswayoflettingthemdowneasily？“
Susan”smannerwascertainlylightandcheerful，anassurancethatheneedhavenofearofhystericsordespairoranysortofscenetryingtoasoftheart。ButGarveycouldtakebuttheoneviewofthefavorordisfavorofthegodofhisuniverse。Helookedatherlikeadogthatisgettingawhippingfromafriend。“Now，MissLenox，you”venorighttoputmeinthispainful——”
“That”strue，“saidSusan，donesinceshehadgotwhatshesought。“Ishan”tsayanotherword。WhenMr。Brentcomesback，willyoutellhimIsentforyoutoaskyoutothankhimforme——andsaytohimthatIfoundsomethingelseforwhichIhopeI”mbettersuited？“
“I”msoglad，“saidGarvey，hysterically。“I”mdelighted。
AndI”msurehewillbe，too。ForI”msurehelikedyou，personally——andImustsayIwassurprisedwhenhewent。ButImustnotsaythatsortofthing。Indeed，Iknownothing，MissLenox——Iassureyou——”
“Andpleasetellhim，“interruptedSusan，“thatI”dhavewrittenhimmyself，onlyIdon”twanttobotherhim。”
“Oh，no——no，indeed。Notthat，MissLenox。I”msosorry。
ButI”monlythesecretary。Ican”tsayanything。”
ItwassometimebeforeSusancouldgetridofhim，thoughhewaseagertobegone。Hehunginthedoorway，ejaculatingdisconnectedly，droppingandpickinguphishat，perspiringprofusely，shakinghandsagainandagain，andsoexcitingherpityforhismiseryofthegood-heartedweakthatshewasforthemomentforgetfulofherownplight。Longbeforehewent，hehadgreatlyincreasedheralreadystrongbeliefinBrent”sgenerosityofcharacter——for，thoughtshe，he”dhavegotanothersecretaryifhehadn”tbeentookindtoturnadriftsohelplessandfoolishacreature。Well——heshouldhavenotroubleingettingridofher。
ShewasseeinglittleofSpenserandtheyweresayingalmostnothingtoeachother。Whenhecameatnight，alwaysverylate，shewasinbedandpretendedsleep。Whenheawoke，shegotbreakfastinsilence；theyreadthenewspapersastheyate。Andhecouldnotsparethetimetocometodinner。Asthedecisivemomentdrewnear，hisfearsdrieduphisconfidentvolubility。Hechangedhismindandinsistedonhercomingtothetheaterforthefinalrehearsals。But“ShatteredLives“wasnotthesortofplayshecaredfor，andshewasweariedbytheprofaneandtediouswranglingsofthestagedirectorandtheauthors，bythestupidityoftheactorswhohadtobetoldeverylittleintonationandgestureagainandagain。Theagitation，thelaborseemedgrotesquelyoutofproportiontothetrivialityofthematteratissue。AtthefirstnightshesatinaboxfromwhichSpenser，inahighfeverandtwitchingwithnervousness，watchedtheplay，glidingoutjustbeforethelightswereturnedupfortheintermission。Theplaywentbetterthanshehadexpected，andtheenthusiasmoftheaudienceconvincedherthatitwasasuccessbeforethefallofthecurtainonthesecondact。
Withtheapplausethatgreetedthechiefclimax——theendofthethirdact——Spenser，SperryandFitzalanwereconvinced。
Allthreerespondedtocurtaincalls。SusanhadneverseenSpensersohandsome，andsheadmiredthecalmnessandtheclevernessofhisbriefspeechofthanks。Thatlineoffootlightsbetweenthemgaveheranewpointofviewonhim，madeherrealizehowbeingsoclosetohisweaknesseshadobscuredforherhisstrongqualities——for，unfortunately，whileaman”spubliclifeisdeterminedwhollybyhisstrongqualities，hisintimatelifedependswhollyonhisweaknesses。
Shewasasfondofhimasshehadeverbeen；butitwasimpossibleforhertofeelanythrillapproachinglove。Why？
Shelookedathisfinefaceandmanlyfigure；sherecalledhowmanygoodqualitieshehad。Whyhadsheceasedtolovehim？
Shethoughtperhapssomemysteryofphysicallackofsympathywasinpartresponsible；thentherewasthefactthatshecouldnottrusthim。Withmanywomen，trustisnotnecessarytolove；onthecontrary，distrustinflameslove。IthappenednottobesowithSusanLenox。“Idonotlovehim。Icanneverlovehimagain。Andwhenheuseshispoweroverme，I
shallbegintodislikehim。”Thelostillusion！Thedeadlove！Ifshecouldcallitbacktolife！Butno——thereitlay，coffined，thegrayofdeathuponitsfeatures。Herheartached。
AftertheplayFitzalantooktheauthorsandtheleadinglady，ConstanceFrancklyn，andMissLenoxtosupperinaprivateroomatRector”s。ThiswasMissFrancklyn”sfirsttrialinaleadingpart。Shehadsmallabilityasanactress，havingneverrisenbeyondtheprimerstageofmereposinganddeclamationinwhichsomanyplayersarehaltedbytheirvanity——theuniversalhumanvanitythatiscontentwithsmalltriumphs，orwithpurelyimaginarytriumphs。Butshehadanotablefigureofthelank，serpentinekindandabad，sensualfacethatharmonizedwithit。Especiallyinartificiallightshehadanuncannyallureoftheelemental，thewildanimalinthejungle。Witheverydispositionandefforttouseherphysicalcharmstofurtherherselfshewouldnothavebeenstillstrugglingattwenty-eight，hadshehadsomuchasathimblefulofintelligence。
“Severaltimes，“saidSperrytoSusanastheycrossedLongAcretogetheronthewaytoRector”s，“yes，atleasthalfadozentimestomyknowledge，Constancehadhadsuccessrightinherhands。Andeverytimeshehasgonecrazyaboutsomecheapactororsportandhasthrownitaway。”
“Butshe”llgetonnow，“saidSusan。
“Perhaps，“wasSperry”sdoubtingreply。“Ofcourse，she”sgotnobrains。Butitdoesn”ttakebrainstoact——thatis，toactwellenoughforcheapmachine-madeplayslikethis。Andnowadaysplaywrightshavelearnedthatit”suselesstotrytogetactorswhocanact。Theytrytowritepartsthatareactor-proof。”
“Youdon”tlikeyourplay？“saidSusan。
“Likeit？Iloveit。Isn”titgoingtobringmeinapotofmoney？Butasaplay“——Sperrylaughed。“IknowSpenserthinksit”sgreat，but——there”sonlyoneofuswhocanwriteplays，andthat”sBrent。Ittakesaclevermantowriteacleverplay。Butittakesageniustowriteacleverplaythat”lldrawthedamnfoolswhobuytheaterseats。AndRobertBrentnowandthendoesthetrick。Howareyougettingonwithyourambitionforacareer？“
Susanglancednervouslyathim。Thequestion，comingupontheheelsoftalkaboutBrent，filledherwithalarmlestRodhadbrokenhispromiseandhadbetrayedherconfidence。ButSperry”sexpressionshowedthatshewasprobablymistaken。
“Myambition？“saidshe。“Oh——I”vegivenitup。”
“Thethoughtofworkwastoomuchforyou——eh？“
Susanshruggedhershoulders。
AsardonicgrinflittedoverSperry”sPunch-likeface。“ThemoreIseeofwomen，thelessIthinkof”em，“saidhe。“ButIsupposethemen”dbelazyandworthlesstoo，ifnaturehadgiven”emanythingthat”dsellorrent……SomehowI”mdisappointedin_you_，though。”
Thatendedtheconversationuntiltheyweresittingdownatthetable。ThenSperrysaid：
“Areyouoffendedbymyfranknessawhileago？“
“No，“repliedSusan。“Thecontrary。Somedayyoursayingthatmayhelpme。”
“It”squitetrue，there”ssomethingaboutyou——alook——amanner——itmakesonefeelyoucoulddothingsifyoutried。”
“I”mafraidthat`something”isafraud，“saidshe。NodoubtitwasthatsomethingthathadmisledBrent——thathadalwaysdeceivedheraboutherself。No，shemustnotthinkherselfaself-deceiveddreamer。Evenifitwasso，stillshemustnotthinkit。Shemustsaytoherselfoverandoveragain“BrentornoBrent，Ishallgeton——Ishallgeton“untilshehadsilencedthelastdishearteningdoubt。
MissFrancklyn，withFitzalanonherleftandSpenseronherright，wasseatedoppositeSusan。AboutthetimethethirdbottlewasbeingemptiedtheattemptsofSpenserandConstancetoconcealfromhertheirdoingsbecameabsurd。LongbeforethesupperwasovertherehadbeenthrustatherallmannerofproofsthatSpenserwasagainuntrue，thathewaswhirlingmadlyinoneofthosecyclonicinfatuationswhichsoonworehimoutandlefthimtoreturncontritelytoher。SperryadmiredSusan”smannersasdisplayedinherunruffledserenity——anadmirationwhichshedidnotintheleastdeserve。Shewasinfactasdeeplyinterestedassheseemedinhisdiscussionofplaysandacting，illustratedbyBrent”slatestproduction。Bythetimethepartybrokeup，Susanhadinspiteofherselfcollectedaformidablearrayofincriminatingevidence，includingthestealingofoneofConstance”sjeweledshowgartersbySpenserundercoverofthetableclothandaswiftkissinthehallwhenConstancewentoutforamomentandSpenserpresentlysuspendedhisdrunkenpraisesofhimselfasadramatist，andappointedhimselfacommitteetoseewhathadbecomeofher。
Atthedooroftherestaurant，Spensersaid：
“Susan，youandMissFrancklyntakeataxicab。She”lldropyouatourplaceonherwayhome。FitzandSperryandIwantonemoredrink。”
“Notforme，“saidSperrysavagely，withascowlatConstance。
ButFitzalan，whosearmSusanhadseenRodpress，remainedsilent。
“Comeon，mydear，“criedMissFrancklyn，smilingsweetinsolenttreacheryintoSusan”sface。
Susansmiledsweetlybackather。AsshewasleavingthetaxicabinForty-fifthStreet，shesaid：
“SendRodhomebynoon，won”tyou？Anddon”ttellhimIknow。”
MissFrancklyn，whohadbeendrinkinggreedily，begantocry。
Susanlaughed。“Don”tbeasilly，“sheurged。“IfI”mnotupset，whyshouldyoube？AndhowcouldIblameyoutwoforgettingcrazyabouteachother？Iwouldn”tspoilitforworlds。Iwanttohelpiton。”
“Don”tyoulovehim——really？“criedConstance，faceandvoicefullofthemostthrillingtheatricalism。
“I”mveryfondofhim，“repliedSusan。“We”reold，oldfriends。Butastolove——I”mwhereyou”llbeafewmonthsfromnow。”
MissFrancklyndriedhereyes。“Isn”titthedevil！“sheexclaimed。“Why_can”t_itlast？“
“Why，indeed，“saidSusan。“Goodnight——anddon”tforgettosendhimbytwelveo”clock。”Andshehurriedupthestepswithoutwaitingforareply。
Shefeltthatthetimeforactionhadagaincome——thatcriticalmomentwhichshehadsoofteninthepastseencomeandhadletpassunheeded。Hewasinlovewithanotherwoman；hewasprosperous，assuredofagoodincomeforalongtime，thoughhewrotenomoresuccesses。Noneedtoconsiderhim。Forherself，then——what？Clearly，therecouldbenofutureforherwithRod。Clearly，shemustgo。
Mustgo——musttaketheonlyroadthatoffered。Upbeforeher——asineverymoodofdeepdepression——rosethevisionoftheoldwomenoftheslums——thesolitary，bent，brokenforms，cladinrags，feetwrappedinrags——shufflingalonginthegutters，peeringandpokingamongfilth，amonggarbage，togettogetherstufftosellforthepriceofadrink。Theoldwomenofthetenements，theoldwomenofthegutters，theoldwomendrunkanddancingasthelecherous-eyedhunchbackplayedthepiano。
Shemustnotthistimewaitandhesitateandhope；thistimeshemusttaketheroadthatoffered——andsinceitmustbetakenshemustadvancealongitasifofallpossibleroadsitwastheonlyoneshewouldhavefreelychosen。
YetaftershehadwrittenandsentoffthenotetoPalmer，adeepsadnessenvelopedher——agrief，notforRod，butfortheassociation，theintimacy，theirlifetogether，itssorrowsandstormsperhapsmorethanthepleasuresandthejoys。Whenshelefthimbefore，shehadgonesustainedbythefeelingthatshewasdoingitforhim，wasdoingaduty。Now，shewasgoingmerelytosaveherself，tofurtherherself。Life，lifeinthatgreatandhardschoolofpracticalliving，NewYork，hadgivenherthenecessaryhardinesstogo，aidedbyRod”sunfaithfulnessandgrowinguncongeniality。Butnotwhileshelivedcouldsheeverlearntobehard。Shewoulddowhatshemust——shewasnolongerafool。Butshecouldnothelpsighingandcryingalittleasshedidit。
ItwasnotmanyminutesafternoonwhenSpensercame。HelookedsosheepishanduncomfortablethatSusanthoughtConstancehadtoldhim。Buthisopeningsentenceofapologywas：
“ItooktoomanynightcapsandFitzhadtolugmehomewithhim。”
“Really？“saidSusan。“HowdisappointedConstancemusthavebeen！“
Spenserwasnotagoodliar。HisfacetwistedandtwitchedsothatSusanlaughedoutright。“Why，youlooklikeacaughtmarriedman，“criedshe。“Youforgetwe”rebothfree。”
“Whateverputthatcrazynotioninyourhead——aboutMissFrancklyn？“demandedhe。
“Whenyoutakemeoranyoneforthatbigafool，Rod，youonlyshowhowfoolishyouyourselfare，“saidshewiththeutmostgoodhumor。“Thebestwaytofindouthowmuchsenseapersonhasistoseewhatkindoflieshethinks”lldeceiveanotherperson。”
“Now——don”tgetjealous，Susie，“soothedhe。“Youknowhowamanis。”
Thetonewascorrectlycontrite，butSusanfeltunderneaththeconfidencethathewouldbeforgiven——theconfidenceoftheegotistgiddiedbyatriumph。Saidshe：
“Don”tyouthinkmine”sastrangewayofactingjealous？“
“Butyou”reastrangewoman。”
Susanlookedathimthoughtfully。“Yes，IsupposeIam，“saidshe。“Andyou”llthinkmestrangerwhenItellyouwhatI”mgoingtodo。”
Hestartedupinapanic。Andthefearinhiseyespleasedher，atthesametimethatitmadeherwince。
Shenoddedslowly。“Yes，Rod——I”mleaving。”
“I”lldropConstance，“criedhe。“I”llhaveherputoutofthecompany。”
“No——goonwithhertillyou”vegotenough——orshehas。”
“I”vegotenough，thisminute，“declaredhewithconvincingenergyandpassion。“Youmustknow，dearest，thattomeConstance——allthewomenI”veeverseen——aren”tworthyourlittlefinger。You”reallthattheyare，andawholelotmorebesides。”Heseizedherinhisarms。“Youwouldn”tleaveme——youcouldn”t！Youunderstandhowmenare——howtheygetthesefitsofcrazinessaboutapairofeyesorafigureorsometrickofvoiceormanner。Butthatdoesn”taffecttheman”sheart。Iloveyou，Susan。Iadoreyou。”
Shedidnotlethimseehowsincerelyhehadtouchedher。Hereyeswereoftheirdeepestviolet，buthehadneverlearnedthatsign。Shesmiledmockingly；thefingersthatcaressedhishairweretrembling。“We”vetidedeachotherover，Rod。
Theplay”sasuccess。You”reallrightagain——andsoamI。
Now”sthetimetopart。”
“IsitBrent，Susie？“
“Iquithimlastweek。”
“There”snooneelse。You”regoingbecauseofConstance！“
Shedidnotdeny。“You”refreeandsoamI，“saidshepractically。“I”mgoing。So——let”spartsensibly。Don”tmakeasillyscene。”
Sheknewhowtodealwithhim——howtocontrolhimthroughhisvanity。Hedrewawayfromher，chilledandsullen。“Ifyoucanlivethroughit，IguessIcan，“saidhe。“You”remakingadamnfoolofyourself——leavingamanthat”sfondofyou——andleavingwhenhe”ssuccessful。”
“Ialwayswasafool，youknow，“saidshe。Shehaddecidedagainstexplainingtohimandsoopeningupendlessandvainargument。Itwasenoughthatshesawitwasimpossibletobuilduponorwithhim，sawthenecessityoftryingelsewhere——unlessshewouldrisk——no，invite——findingherselfafterafewmonths，oryears，backamongthedrift，backintheunderworld。
Hegazedatherasshestoodsmilinggentlyathim——smilingtohelpherhidetheacheatherheart，theterrorbeforethevisionoftheoldwomenofthetenementgutters，earningthewages，notofsin，notofvice，notofstupidity，butofindecision，ofover-hopefulness——ofweakness。Herewasthekindofsmilethathurtsworsethantears，thattakestheplaceoftearsandsobsandmoans。Buthewhohadneverunderstoodherdidnotunderstandhernow。Hersmileinfuriatedhisvanity。“Youcan_laugh！_“hesneered。
“Well——gotothefilthwhereyoubelong！Youwerebornforit。”Andheflungoutoftheroom，wentnoisilydownthestairs。Sheheardthefrontdoor”sdistantslam；itseemedtodropherintoachair。Shesatthereallcrouchedtogetheruntiltheclockonthemantelstrucktwo。Thisrousedherhastilytogatherintohertrunksuchofherbelongingsasshehadnotalreadypacked。Shesentforacab。Themanofallworkcarrieddownthetrunkandputitonthebox。Dressedinasimplebluecostumeasiffortraveling，sheenteredthecabandgavetheordertodrivetotheGrandCentralStation。
AtthecornershechangedtheorderandwaspresentlyenteringtheBeauxArtsrestaurantwhereshehadaskedFreddietomeether。Hewasthere，smokingcalmlyandwaiting。Atsightofherherose。“You”llhavelunch？“saidhe。
“No，thanks。”
“Asmallbottleofchampagne？“
“Yes——I”mrathertired。”
Heorderedthechampagne。“And，“saidhe，“it”llbetherealthing——whichmightyfewNewYorkersgetevenatthebestplaces。”Whenitcamehesentthewaiterawayandfilledtheglasseshimself。Hetouchedthebrimofhisglasstothebottomofhers。“Tothenewdeal，“saidhe。
Shesmiledandnodded，andemptiedtheglass。Suddenlyitcametoherwhyshefeltsodifferentlytowardhim。Shesawthesubtle，yetradicalchangethatalwaystransformsamanofforceofcharacterwhenhispositionintheworldnotablychanges。Thismanbeforeher，soslightlydifferentinphysicalcharacteristicsfromthemanshehadfled，waswhollydifferentinexpression。
“Whenshallwesail？“askedhe。“Tomorrow？“
“First——there”sthequestionofmoney，“saidshe。
Hewasmuchamused。“Stillworryingaboutyourindependence。”
“No，“repliedshe。“I”vebeenthinkingitout，andIdon”tfeelanyanxietyaboutthat。I”vechangedmyschemeoflife。
I”mgoingtobesensibleandpracticewhatlifehastaughtme。
Itseemsthere”sonlyonewayforawomantogetup。Throughsomeman。”
Freddienodded。“Bymarriageorotherwise，butalwaysthroughaman。”
“SoI”vediscovered，“continuedshe。“So，I”mgoingtoplaythegame。AndIthinkIcanwinnow。WiththeaidofwhatI”lllearnandwiththechancesI”llhave，Icankeepmyfeelingofindependence。Yousee，ifyouandIdon”tgetonwelltogether，I”llbeabletolookoutformyself。
Something”llturnup。”
“Or——_somebody_——eh？“
“Orsomebody。”
“That”scandid。”
“Don”tyouwantmetobecandid？Butevenifyoudon”t，I”vegottobe。”
“Yes——truth——especiallydisagreeabletruth——isyourlongsuit，“saidhe。“NotthatI”mkicking。I”mgladyouwentstraightatthemoneyquestion。Wecansettleitandneverthinkofitagain。Andneitherofuswillbeplottingtotakeadvantageoftheother，orfrettingforfeartheotherisplotting。SometimesIthinknearlyallthetroubleinthisworldcomesthroughfailuretohaveaclearunderstandingaboutmoneymatters。”
Susannodded。Saidshethoughtfully，“Iguessthat”swhyI
came——oneofthemainreasons。Youarewonderfullysensibleanddecentaboutmoney。”
“Andtheotherchapisn”t？“
“Oh，yes——andno。Helikestomakeawomanfeeldependent。
Hethinks——butthatdoesn”tmatter。He”sallright。”
“Now——forourunderstandingwitheachother，“saidPalmer。
“Youcanhavewhateveryouwant。Theotherdayyousaidyouwantedsomesortofasalary。Butifyou”vechanged——”
“No——that”swhatIwant。”
“Somuchayear？“
“Somuchaweek，“repliedshe。“Iwanttofeel，andIwantyoutofeel，thatwecancallitoffatanytimeonsevendays”notice。”
“Butthatisn”twhatIwant，“saidhe——andshe，watchinghimcloselyiffurtively，sawthestronglinesdeepenroundhismouth。
Shehesitated。Shewasseeingtheoldwoman”sdancehall，washearingthepianoasthehunchbackplayedandtheoldhorrorsreeledabout，makingtheirpalsyrhythmic。Shewasseeingthis，yetshedared。“Thenyoudon”twantme，“saidshe，soquietlythathecouldnothavesuspectedheragitation。Neverhadherhabitofconcealingheremotionbeensousefultoher。
Hesatfrowningathisglass——debating。Finallyhesaid：
“IexplainedtheotherdaywhatIwasaimingfor。Suchanarrangementasyousuggestwouldn”thelp。Youseethat？“
“It”sallIcando——atpresent，“repliedshefirmly。Andshewasnowreadytostandorfallbythatdecision。Shehadalwaysacceptedtheotherpreviousterms——orwhatevertermsfateoffered。Result——eachtime，disaster。Shemustmakenomorefatalblunders。Thistime，herowntermsornotatall。
Hewassilentalongtime。Sheknewshehadconvincedhimthathertermswerefinal。So，hisdelaycouldonlymeanthathewasdebatingwhethertoacceptortogohiswayandleavehertogohers。Atlasthelaughedandsaid：
“You”vebecomeatrueNewYorker。Youknowhowtodriveahardbargain。”Helookedatheradmiringly。“Youcertainlyhavegotcourage。Ihappentoknowalotaboutyouraffairs。
I”vewaysoffindingoutthings。AndIknowyou”dnotbehereifyouhadn”tbrokenwiththeotherfellowfirst。So，ifI
turnedyourpropositiondownyou”dbeupagainstit——wouldn”tyou？“
“Yes，“saidshe。“But——Iwon”tinanycircumstancestiemyself。Imustbefree。”
“You”reright，“saidhe。“AndI”llriskyoursticking。I”magoodgambler。”
“IfIwerebound，butdidn”twanttostay，wouldIbeofmuchuse？“
“Ofnouse。Youcanquitonsevenminutes”notice，insteadofsevendays。”
“Andyou，also，“saidshe。
Laughinglytheyshookhands。Shebegantolikehiminanewandmorepromisingway。Herewasaman，whoatleastwascastinabigmold。Nothingsmallandcheapabouthim——andBrenthadmadesmallcheapmenforeverintolerabletoher。Yes，herewasamanofthebigsort；andabigmancouldn”tpossiblybeabadman。Nomatterhowmanybadthingshemightdo，hewouldstillbehimself，atleast，ascornerofthepettinessandsneakinessandcowardiceinseparablefromvillainy。
“Andnow，“saidhe，“let”ssettlethelastdetail。Howmuchaweek？Howwouldfivehundredstrikeyou？“
“That”smorethantwelvetimesthelargestsalaryIevergot。
It”smanytimesasmuchasImadeinthe——”
“Nomatter，“hehastilyinterposed。“It”stheleastyoucanholddownthejobon。You”vegottospendmoney——forclothesandsoon。”
“TwohundredisthemostIcantake，“saidshe。“It”stheoutsidelimit。”
Heinsisted，butsheremainedfirm。“IwillnotaccustommyselftomuchmorethanIseeanyprospectofgettingelsewhere，“explainedshe。“PerhapslateronI”llaskforanincrease——lateron，whenIseehowthingsaregoingandwhatmyprospectselsewherewouldbe。ButImustbeginmodestly。”
“Well，letitgoattwohundredforthepresent。I”lldepositayear”ssalaryinabank，andyoucandrawagainstit。Isthatsatisfactory？Youdon”twantmetohandyoutwohundreddollarseverySaturday，doyou？“
“No。Thatwouldgetonmynerves，“saidshe。
“Now——it”sallsettled。Whenshallwesail？“
“There”sagirlI”vegottolookupbeforeIgo。”
“Maud？Youneedn”tbotherabouther。She”smarriedtoapikerfromupthestate——ashoemanufacturer。She”sgotababy，andisfatenoughtomaketwoorthreelikewhatsheusedtobe。”
“No，notMaud。Oneyoudon”tknow。”
“Ihopedwecouldsailtomorrow。Whynottakeataxiandgoafterhernow？“
“Itmaybealongsearch。”
“She”sa——？“Hedidnotneedtofinishhissentenceinordertomakehimselfunderstood。
Susannodded。
“Oh，lether——”
“Ipromised，“interruptedshe。
“Then——ofcourse。”Freddiedrewfromhistrouserspocketahugerollofbills。Susansmiledatthisproofthathestillretainedtheuniversalhabitofgamblers，politiciansandsimilarloosecharactersoflargeincome，precariouslyderived。Hecountedoffthreehundredsandfourfiftiesandheldthemouttoher。“Letmeinonit，“saidhe。
Susantookthemoneywithouthesitation。Shewasusedtothesecarelessgenerositiesofthemenofthatclass——generositiespassingwiththemandwiththeunthinkingforevidencesofgoodnessofheart，wheninfactnogenerosityhasanysignificancewhateverbeyondselfishvanityunlessitisasacrificeofnecessities——realnecessities。
“Idon”tthinkI”llneedmoney，“saidshe。“ButImay。”
“You”vegotatrunkandabagonthecaboutside，“hewenton。
“I”vetoldthematSherry”sthatI”mtobemarried。”
Susanflushed。Shehastilyloweredhereyes。Butsheneednothavefearedlestheshouldsuspectthecauseoftheblush……astrange，absurdresentmentoftheideathatshecouldbemarriedtoFreddiePalmer。Livewithhim——yes。Butmarry——nowthatitwasthussquarelypresentedtoher，shefounditunthinkable。Shedidnotpausetoanalyzethisfeeling，indeedcouldnothaveanalyzedit，hadshetried。Itwas，however，amostinterestingillustrationofhowshehadbeeneducatedatlasttolookuponquestionsofsexasamanlooksonthem。Shewaslikethemanwhoopenlytakesamistresswhomheinnocircumstanceswouldelevatetothepositionofwife。
“So，“heproceeded，“youmightaswellmoveinatSherry”s。”
“No，“objectedshe。“Let”snotbeginthenewdealuntilwesail。”
Thewisdomofthiswasobvious。“Thenwe”lltakeyourthingsovertotheManhattanHotel，“saidhe。“Andwe”llstartthesearchfromthere。”
ButafterregisteringattheManhattanasSusanLenox，shestartedoutalone。Shewouldnotlethimlookinuponanypartofherlifewhichshecouldkeepveiled。XIX
SHEleftthetaxicabatthecornerofGrandStreetandtheBowery，andplungedintoherformerhauntsafoot。Onceagainshehaditforceduponherhowmeaninglessinthelifehistoryarethewords“time“and“space。”Shewasnowhardlyanydistance，asmeasurementsgo，fromherpresentworld，andshehadlivedhereonlyayesterdayorsoago。Yetwhataninfinityyawnedbetween！AttheDelanceyStreetapartmenthousetherewasalreadyanewjanitress，andthekindsofshopsonthegroundfloorhadchanged。Onlyaftertwohoursofgoingupanddownstairs，ofknockingatdoors，ofquestioningandcross-questioning，didshediscoverthatClarahadmovedtoAllenStreet，tothetenementinwhichSusanherselfhadforafewweekslived——thosevague，besottedweeksofdespair。
Whenwegooutintothestreetswithbereavementinmind，weseenothingbutpeopledressedinmourning。Andasimilarthingoccurs，whatevertheemotionthatoppressesus。ItwouldnothavebeenstrangeifSusan，onthewaytoAllenStreetafoot，hadseenonlywomenofthestreets，fortheyswarmineverygreatthoroughfareofourindustrialcities。
Theyusedtocomeoutonlyatnight。Butwiththepassingofthefeelingagainstthemthatexistedwhentheywerearare，unfamiliar，mysteriouslyterribleminorfeatureoflife，theyissueforthboldlybyday，likealltheotherclasses，makingalivingasbesttheycan。ButonthatdaySusanfeltasifshewereseeingonlythebrokendownandcast-outcreaturesoftheclass——theoldwomen，oldinbodyratherthaninyears，pickinginthegutters，fumblinginthegarbagebarrels，pokingandpeeringeverywhereforoddsandendsthatmightpileupintothepriceofaglassofthepoisonsoldinthebarrelhouses。Theoldwomen——thehideous，lonelyoldwomen——andthediseased，crippledchildren，worseoffthanthecatsandthedogs，forcatanddogwerenotcompelledtowearfilth-soakedrags。Prosperous，civilizedNewYork！
Agroupofthesechildrenwereplayingsomeroughgame，inimitationoftheirelders，thatwascausingseveraltohowlwithpain。Sheheardawoman，beingshownaboutbyasettlementworkerorsomesuchperson，say：
“Really，notatallbadlydressed——forstreetgames。ImustconfessIdon”tseesignsofthemiserytheytalksomuchabout。”
AwaveoffurypassedthroughSusan。Shefeltlikestrikingthewomanfullinhervain，supercilious，patronizingface——strikingherandsaying：“Yousmugliar！Whatifyouhadtowearsuchclothesonthatfat，overfedbodyofyours！
You”drealizethenhowfilthytheyare！“
ShegazedinhorrorattheAllenStreethouse。Wasitpossiblethat_she_hadlivedthere？Inthefilthydoorwaysatachildeatingadillpickle——ascrawny，raggedlittlegirlwithmuchofherhaireatenoutbythemange。Sherecalledthislittlegirlastheformerlyprettyandlivelyyoungster，thedaughterofthejanitress。Shewentpastthechildwithoutdisturbingher，knockedatthejanitress”door。Itpresentlyopened，disclosinginasmallandfoulroomfourprematurelyoldwomen，allinthefamilyway，twowithbabiesinarms。Oneofthesewasthejanitress。ThoughshewasnotaJewess，shewaswearingoneofthewigsassumedbyorthodoxJewishwomenwhentheymarry。ShestaredatSusanwithnotasignofrecognition。
“IamlookingforMissClara，“saidSusan。
Thejanitressdebated，shiftedherbabyfromonearmtotheother，glancedinquiringlyattheotherwomen。Theyshooktheirheads；shelookedatSusanandshookherhead。“Thereain”taClara，“saidshe。“Perhapsshe”stookanothername？“
“Perhaps，“concededSusan。AndshedescribedClaraandthevariousdressesshehadhad。Attheaccountofonewithflouncesontheskirtsandlacepuffsinthesleeves，theyoungestofthewomenshowedagleamofintelligence。“Youmeanthegirlwiththecancerofthebreast，“saidshe。
Susanremembered。Shecouldnotarticulate；shenodded。
“Oh，yes，“saidthejanitress。“Shehadthethirdfloorback，andwasalwayskickingbecauseMrs。Pfisterkeptaguineapigforherrheumatismandthesmellcamethrough。”
“Hasshegone？“askedSusan。
“Coupleofweeks。”
“Where？“
Thejanitressshruggedhershoulders。Theotherwomenshruggedtheirshoulders。Saidthejanitress：
“Herfellerstoppedcoming。Thecancergotawfulbad。I”vesawagoodmany——they”requiteplentifuldownthisway。I
neverseeaworse”nhers。Shedidn”thavenomoney。Uptothehospitaltheytriedanewcureonherthatmadehergallopin”worse。ThedaybeforeIwasgoingtohavetogotoworkandputherout——sheleft。”
“Can”tyougivemeanyidea？“urgedSusan。
“Shedidn”ttakeherthings，“saidthejanitressmeaningly。
“Notastitch。”
“The——theriver？“
Thejanitressshruggedhershoulders。“Shealwayssaidshewould，andIguess——”
Againthefat，stoopedshouldersliftedandlowered。“Shewasmostcrazywithpain。”
Therewasamoment”ssilence，thenSusanmurmured，“Thankyou，“andwentbacktothehall。Thehousewasexhalingafrightfulstench——theodorofcheapkerosene，ofthingsthatpassedthereforfood，ofanimalshumanandlower，ofdeathanddecay。Onherwayoutshedroppedadollarintothelapofthelittlegirlwiththemange。Aparrotwasshriekingfromanupperwindow。Onthetopmostfireescapewasarowofgeraniumsbloomingsturdily。Hertaxicabhadmovedupthestreet，pushedoutofplacebyahearse——awhitehearse，withpolishedmountings，thehorsescaparisonedinwhitenetting，andtossingwhiteplumes。Ababy”sfuneral——thismockeryofarideinstateafterabrieflifeofsqualor。Itwassummer，andthebabiesweredyinglikelambsintheshambles。Inwinterthegrownpeoplewereslaughtered；insummerthechildren。Acrossthestreet，afewdoorsup，thecitydeadwagonwastakingawayanotherbody——inaplainpinebox——tothePotter”sFieldwherefindtheirwayforthefinalrestoneineverytenofthepeopleoftherichandsplendidcityofNewYork。
Susanhurriedintohercab。“Drivefast，“shesaid。
WhenshecamebacktosenseofhersurroundingsshewasflyingupwideandairyFifthAvenuewithgorgeoussunshinebathingitspalaces，withwealthandfashionandeaseallabouther。
HerdearCityoftheSun！Butithurthernow，washatefultolookupon。Sheclosedhereyes；herlifeintheslums，herlifewhenshewassharingthelotthatisreallythelotofthehumanraceasarace，passedbeforeher——itssightsandsoundsandodors，itshideousheat，itsstillmorehideouscold，itscontactsandassociations，itsdirtanddiseaseanddegradation。Andthroughtheroarofthecitytherecametoherasound，faintyetintense——likethestill，smallvoicetheprophetheard——butnotthevoiceofGod，ratherthevoiceofthemultitudeofachinghearts，achinginhopelesspoverty——heartsofmen，ofwomen，ofchildren——
Thechildren！Themultitudesofchildrenwithheartsthatnosoonerbegintobeatthantheybegintoache。Sheopenedhereyestoshutoutthesesightsandthatsoundofheartache。
Shegazedround，drewalongbreathofrelief。Shehadalmostbeenafraidtolookroundlestsheshouldfindthatherescapehadbeenonlyadream。Andnowtheroadshehadchosen——or，rather，theonlyroadshecouldtake——theroadwithFreddiePalmer——seemedattractive，evendazzling。Whatshecouldnotlike，shewouldignore——andhoweasilyshe，afterherexperience，coulddothat！Whatshecouldnotignoreshewouldtoleratewouldcompelherselftolike。
PoorClara！——HappyClara！——betteroffinthedregsoftheriverthanshehadeverbeeninthedregsofNewYork。Sheshuddered。Then，assooften，thesenseofthegrotesquethrustin，asoutofplaceasjesterincapandbellsatabier——andshesmiledsardonically。“Why，“thoughtshe，“inbeingsqueamishaboutFreddieI”mshowingthatI”mmorerespectablethantherespectablewomen。There”shardlyoneofthemthatdoesn”tswallowworsedoseswithlessexcuseornoexcuseatall——andwithoutsomuchasawryface。”XX
INthetendaysontheAtlanticandtheMediterraneanMr。andMrs。Palmer，asthepassengerlistdeclaredthem，plannedtheearlystagesoftheircampaign。Theymustkeeptothemselves，mustmakenoacquaintances，nosocialentanglementsofanykind，untiltheyhadeffectedtheexteriortransformationwhichwastobethefirststride——andaverylongone，theyfelt——towardtheconquestoftheworldthatcommandsalltheotherworlds。SeveralmenaboardknewPalmerslightly——knewhimvaguelyasabigpoliticianandcontractor。Theyhadahazynotionthathewasreputedtohavebeenathugandagrafter。ButNewYorkershavefewprejudicesexceptagainstguilelessnessandfailure。TheyarewellawarethatthewisestofthewiseHebrewracewasnevermoresagaciousthanwhenheobservedthat“hewhohastethtoberichshallnotbeinnocent。”Theyaretoowellusedtounsavorypaststobothermuchaboutthatkindofodor；andwhereinthecivilizedworld——orinthatwhichisnotcivilized——isthereanodorfromreputation——orcharacter——whoseedgeisnottakenoffbythestrong，sweet，hypnoticperfumeofmoney？Also，Palmer”sappearancegavetheliedirecttoanyscandalabouthim。Itcouldnotbe——itsimplycouldnotbe——thatamanofsuchsplendidphysicalbuild，amanwithacountenancesohandsome，hadeverbeenalow，wickedfellow！Doesnotthedevilalwaysatonceexhibithishoofs，horns，tailandmalevolentsmile，thatallmenmayknowwhoandwhatheis？Afrank，manlyyoungleaderofmen——thatwasthewritingonhiscountenance。
AndhisItalianbloodputintohisgoodlooksanancientandaristocraticdelicacythatmadeitincrediblethathewasofloworigin。HespokegoodEnglish，hedressedquietly；hedidnoteatwithhisknife；hedidnotretirebehindanapkintopickhisteeth，butattendedtothemopenly，ifnecessitycompelled——andsplendidteeththeywere，setinawide，cleanmouth，notablyattractiveforaman”s。No，FreddiePalmer”spastwouldnotgivehimanytroublewhatever；inafewyearsitwouldbeforgotten，wouldberomancedaboutastheheroicstrugglesofatypicalAmericanrisingfrompoverty。
“ThankGod，“saidFreddie，“Ihadsenseenoughnottogetajailsmellonme！“
Susancoloredpainfully——andPalmer，thesensitive，coloredalso。Buthehadthetactthatdoesnottrytorepairablunderbymakingaworseone；hepretendednottoseeSusan”scrimsonflush。