Sheread“Cavalleria“throughslowly，takingaboutanhourtoit。ShesawnowwhyBrenthadgivenittoherastheprimerlesson——thesimple，elementalstoryofapeasantgirl”sruinunderpromiseofmarriage；ofherlover”swearyingofonewhohadonlycrudephysicalcharm；ofhisbeingattractedbyayoungmarriedwoman，gayaswellaspretty，offeringthesecurityinintriguethatanunmarriedwomancouldnotoffer。
Suchaplayisatoncetheeasiestandthehardesttoact——theeasiestbecauseeveryaudienceunderstandsitperfectlyandsuppliesunconsciouslyalmostanydefectintheacting；thehardestbecauseanyactorwiththeeducationnecessarytoactingwellfindsitnexttoimpossibletodivesthimselforherselfofthesophisticationsofeducationandgetbacktotheelementalanimal。
_Santuzza_or_Lola_？Susandebated。_Santuzza_wasthebigandeasypart；_Lola_，thesmallerpart，wasofthekindthatisusuallyneglected。ButSusansawpossibilitiesinthecharacterofthewomanwhowon_Turiddu_away——thetriumphantwoman。Thetwowomenrepresentedthetwokindsoflove——thelovethatisserious，thelovethatislight。Andexperiencehadtaughtherwhyitisthathumannaturesoontiresofintensity，turnstofrivolity。Shefeltthat，ifshecouldact，shewouldtrytoshowthatnot_Turiddu”s_ficklenessnorhiscontemptofthewomanwhohadyielded，but_Santuzza”s_sadintensityand_Lola”s_butterflygayetyhadcost_Santuzza_herloverandherloverhislife。So，itwasnot_Santuzza”s_but_Lola”s_firstentrancethatshestudied。
Inthenextmorning”smail，undercoveraddressed“MissSusanLenox，careofMissLornaSackville，“asshehadwrittenitforBrent，camethepromisedcheckforfortydollars。ItwassignedJohnP。Garvey，Secretary，andwasinclosedwithanotebearingthesamesignature：
DEARMADAM：
HerewithIsendyouacheckforfortydollarsforthefirstweek”ssalaryunderyourarrangementwithMr。Brent。Noreceiptisnecessary。UntilfurthernoticeacheckforthesameamountwillbemailedyoueachThursday。Unlessyoureceivenoticetothecontrary，pleasecallasbefore，atthreeo”clocknextWednesday。
ItmadehernervoustothinkofthosefivedaysbeforesheshouldseeBrent。Hehadassuredherhewouldexpectnothingfromher；butshefeltshemustbeabletoshowhimthatshehadnotbeenwastinghertime——histime，thetimeforwhichhewaspayingnearlysixdollarsaday。Shemustworkeverywakinghour，exceptthetwohourseachdayatthehospital。
SherecalledwhatBrenthadsaidabouttheadvantageofbeingcontentedalone——andhoweverythingworthdoingmustbedoneinsolitude。Shehadneverthoughtaboutherownfeelingsastocompanyandsolitude，asitwasnotherhabittothinkaboutherself。Butnowsherealizedhowsolitaryshehadbeen，andhowithadbredinherhabitsofthinkingandreading——andhowvaluablethesehabitswouldbetoherinherwork。TherewasRod，forexample。Hehatedbeingalone，musthavesomeonearoundevenwhenhewaswriting；andhehadnotastefororderorsystem。Sheunderstoodwhyitwassohardforhimtostickatanything，toputanythingthroughtothefinish。Withherfondnessforbeingalone，withherpassionforreadingandthinkingaboutwhatsheread，surelysheoughtsoontobegintoaccomplishsomething——iftherewasanyabilityinher。
ShefoundRodinhigherspirits。Severalideasforhisplayhadcometohim；healreadysawitacted，successful，drawingcrowdedhouses，bringinghiminanywherefromfivehundredtoathousandaweek。Shewasnottroubledhuntingforthingstotalkaboutwithhim——she，whocouldthinkofbutonethingandthatasecretfromhim。Hetalkedhisplay，asteadystreamwithnotaseeingglanceatheroraquestionabouther。Shewatchedthelittleclockatthesideofthebed。Attheendofanhourtotheminute，sheinterruptedhiminthemiddleofasentence。“Imustgonow，“saidshe，rising。
“Sitdown，“hecried。“Youcanstayallday。Thedoctorsaysitwilldomegoodtohaveyoutotalkwith。AndSperryisn”tcominguntiltomorrow。”
“Ican”tdoit，“saidshe。“Imustgo。”
Hemisunderstoodheravoidingglance。“Now，Susie——sitdownthere，“commandedhe。“We”vegotplentyofmoney。You——youneedn”tbotheraboutitanymore。”
“We”renotsettledyet，“saidshe。“Untilweare，I”dnotdaretaketherisk。”Shewassubtlyadroitbychance，notbydesign。
“Risk！“exclaimedheangrily。“There”snorisk。I”veasgoodasgottheadvancemoney。Sitdown。”
Shehesitated。“Don”tbeangry，“pleadedsheinavoicethatfaltered。“ButImustgo。”
Intohiseyescamethegleamofdistrustandjealousy。“Lookatme，“heordered。
Withsomedifficultysheforcedhereyestomeethis。
“Haveyougotalover？“
“No。”
“Thenwheredoyougetthemoneywe”relivingon？“Hecountedonherbeingtoohumiliatedtoanswerinwords。Insteadofthehangingheadandburningcheekshesawclear，steadyeyes，heardacalm，gentleanddignifiedvoicesay：
“Inthestreets。”
Hiseyesdroppedandalookofabjectshamemadehisfacepitiable。“GoodHeavens，“hemuttered。
“Howlowweare！“
“We”vebeendoingthebestwecould，“saidshesimply。
“Isn”tthereanydecencyanywhereinyou？“heflashedout，eagerlyseizingthechancetoforgethisownshameincontemplatinghergreaterdegradation。
Shelookedoutofthewindow。Therewassomethingterribleinthecalmnessofherprofile。Shefinallysaidinaneven，pensivevoice：
“Youhavebeenintimatewithagreatmanywomen，Rod。Butyouhavenevergotacquaintedwithasingleone。”
Helaughedgood-humoredly。“Oh，yes，Ihave。I”velearnedthat`everywomanisatheartarake”asMr。JinglePopesays。”
Shelookedathimagain，herfacenowcuriouslylightedbyherslowfaintsmile。“Perhapstheyshowedyouonlywhattheythoughtyou”dbeabletoappreciate，“shesuggested。
Hetookthisasevidenceofherbeingjealousofhim。“Tellme，Susan，didyouleaveme——inForty-fourthStreet——becauseyouthoughtorheardIwasn”ttruetoyou？“
“WhatdidDrumleytellyou？“
“Iaskedhim，asyousaidinyournote。Hetoldmeheknewnoreason。”
SoDrumleyhaddecideditwasbestRodshouldnotknowwhysheleft。Well，perhaps——probably——Drumleywasright。Buttherewasnoreasonwhyheshouldn”tknowthetruthnow。“Ileft，“
saidshe，“becauseIsawwewerebadforeachother。”
Thisamusedhim。Shesawthathedidnotbelieve。Itwoundedher，butshesmiledcarelessly。Hersmileencouragedhimtosay：“Icouldn”tquitemakeupmymindwhetherthereasonwasjealousyorbecauseyouhadthesoulofashamelesswoman。
Yousee，Iknowhumannature，andIknowthatawomanwhooncecrossesthelinenevercrossesback。I”llalwayshavetowatchyou，mydear。ButsomehowIlikeit。Iguessyouhave——youandIhave——arottenstreakinus。Wewerebroughtuptoostrictly。Thatalwaysmakesoneeithertoofirmortooloose。IusedtothinkIlikedgoodwomen。ButIdon”t。
Theyboreme。ThatshowsI”mrotten。”
“Orthatyourideaofwhat”sgoodis——ismistaken。”
“Youdon”tpretendthat_you_haven”tdonewrong？“criedRod。
“Imighthavedoneworse，“repliedshe。“Imighthavewrongedothers。No，Rod，Ican”thonestlysayI”veeverfeltwicked。”
“Why，whatbroughtyouhere？“
Shereflectedamoment，thensmiled。“Twothingsbroughtmedown，“saidshe。“Inthefirstplace，Iwasn”traisedright。
Iwasraisedasaladyinsteadofasahumanbeing。SoI
didn”tknowhowtomeettheconditionsoflife。Inthesecondplace”hersmilereturned，broadened”Iwastoo——toowhat”scalled`good。”“
“Pityaboutyou！“mockedhe。
“Beingwhat”scalledgoodisallverywellifyou”reindependentorifyou”vegotahusbandorafathertodolife”sdirtyworkforyou——or，perhaps，ifyouhappentobeinsomeprofessionlikepreachingorteaching——thoughIdon”tbelievetheso-called`goodness”wouldletyougetveryfarevenasapreacher。Inmostlines，topracticewhatwe”retaughtaschildrenwouldbetogotothebottomlikeastone。
Youknowthisisahardworld，Rod。It”sfullofmenandwomenfightingdesperatelyforfoodandclothesandarooftocoverthem——fightingeachother。Andtogetonyou”vegottohavethecourageandtheindifferencetoyourfellowbeingsthat”llenableyoutodoit。”
“There”salotoftruthinthat，“admittedSpenser。“IfI”dnotbeensucha`goodfellow”astheycallit——afelloweverybodyliked——ifI”dbeenlikeBrent，forinstance——Brent，whoneverwouldhaveanyfriends，whoneverwoulddoanythingforanybodybuthimself，whohadn”tathoughtexceptforhiscareer——why，I”dbewhereheis。”
ItwasatthetipofSusan”stonguetosay，“Yes——strong——abletohelpothers——abletodothingsworthwhile。”Butshedidnotspeak。
Rodwenton：“I”mnotgoingtobeafoolanylonger。I”mgoingtobetoobusytohavefriendsortohelppeopleortodoanythingbutpushmyowninterests。”
Susan，indifferenttobeingthuswhollymisunderstood，wasagainmovingtowardthedoor。“I”llbebackthisevening，asusual，“saidshe。
Spenser”sfacebecamehardandlowering：“You”regoingtostayherenow，oryou”renotcomingback，“saidhe。“Youcantakeyourchoice。Doyouwantmetoknowyou”vegotthesoulofastreetwalker？“
Shestoodatthefootofthebed，gazingatthewallabovehishead。“Imustearnourexpensesuntilwe”resafe，“saidshe，oncemoretellingaliteraltruththatwasyetacompletedeception。
“Whydoyoufretme？“exclaimedhe。“Doyouwantmetobesickagain？“
“Supposeyoudidn”tgettheadvancerightaway，“urgedshe。
“ItellyouIshallgetit！AndIwon”thaveyou——doasyouaredoing。Ifyougo，yougoforkeeps。”
Sheseatedherself。“Doyouwantmetoreadortakedictation？“
Hisfaceexpressedthesatisfactionsmallpeoplefindinsmallsuccessesatassertingauthority。“Don”tbeangry，“saidhe。
“I”mactingforyourgood。I”msavingyoufromyourself。”
“I”mnotangry，“repliedshe，herstrangeeyesrestinguponhim。
Heshifteduncomfortably。“Nowwhatdoesthatlookmean？“hedemandedwithanuneasylaugh。
Shesmiled，shruggedhershoulders。
Sperry——smallandthin，aweather-beaten，woodenfacesuggestingMr。Punch，slykeeneyes，theaterineverytoneandgestureSperrypushedthescenariohastilytocompletionandwassosuccessfulwithFitzalanthatonSundayafternoonhebroughttwohundredandfiftydollars，Spenser”shalfoftheadvancemoney。
“Didn”tItellyou！“saidSpensertoSusan，intriumph。
“We”llmoveatonce。Gopackyourtrapsandputtheminacarriage，andbythetimeyou”rebackhereSperryandthenurseswillhavemeready。”
ItwasaboutthreewhenSusangottoherroom。Claraheardhercomeinandsoonappeared，barefeetinmules，hairhangingeverywhichway。Despitethesofteningeffectofthewhitenightdressandoftheframingofabundanthair，herfacewashardandcoarse。Shehadbeendrunkonliquorandonopiumthenightbefore，andtheeffectswerewearingoff。Asshewasonlytwentyyearsold，thehardcoarselookwouldwithdrawbeforeyouthinafewhours；itwasthereonlytemporarilyasaforeshadowingofwhatClarawouldlooklikeinfiveyearsorso。
“Hello，Lorna，“saidshe。“Gee，whatabunmyfellowandI
hadonlastnight！Didyouhearusscrappingwhenwecameinaboutfiveo”clock？“
“No，“repliedSusan。“Iwasuplateandhadalottodo，andwaskeptatthehospitalallday。IguessImusthavefallenasleep。”
“Hegavemeanawfulbeating，“pursuedClara。“ButIgotonegoodcrackathimwithabottle。”Shelaughed。“Idon”tthinkhe”llbedoingmuchflirtingtillhischeekhealsup。
Helooksasight！“SheopenedhernightdressandshowedSusanadeepblue-blackmarkonherleftbreast。“IwonderifI”llgetcancerfromthat？“saidshe。“It”dbejustmyrottenluck。I”veheardofseveralcasesofitlately，andmyfatherkickedmymotherthere，andshegotcancer。Lord，howshedidsuffer！“
Susanshivered，turnedhereyesaway。Herbloodsurgedwithjoythatshehadoncemoreclimbedupoutofthisdeep，darkwallowwherethemassesofherfellowbeingswelteredindarknessanddrunkennessanddisease——wasupamongthefavoredoneswho，whiletheycouldnotentirelyescapethegreatillsoflife，atleasthadtheintelligenceandthemeanstomitigatethem。Howfortunatethatfewoftheseunhappyoneshadtheimaginationtorealizetheirownwretchedness！“I
don”tcarewhatbecomesofme，“Clarawassaying。“Whatisthereinitforme？Icanhaveagoodtimeonlyaslongasmylookslast——andthat”strueofeverywoman，ain”tit？What”sawomanbutabody？Ain”tIright？“
“That”swhyI”mgoingtostopbeingawomanassoonaseverI
can，“saidSusan。
“Why，you”repackingup！“criedClara。
“Yes。Myfriend”swellenoughtobemoved。We”regoingtoliveuptown。”
“Rightaway？“
“Thisafternoon。”
Claradroppedintoachairandbegantoweep。“I”llmissyousomethingfierce！“sobbedshe。“You”retheonlyfriendintheworldIgiveadamnfor，orthatgivesadamnforme。IwishtoGodIwaslikeyou。Youdon”tneedanybody。”
“Oh，yes，Ido，dear，“criedSusan。
“But，Imean，youdon”tleanonanybody。Idon”tmeanyou”rehard-hearted——foryouain”t。You”vepulledmeandadozenothergirlsoutoftheholelotsoftimes。Butyou”reindependent。Can”tyoutakemealong？Icandropthatbumacrossthehall。Idon”tgiveahootforhim。Butagirl”sgottomakebelieveshecaresforsomebodyorshe”dblowherbrainsout。”
“Ican”ttakeyoualong，butI”mgoingtocomeforyouassoonasI”monmyfeet，“saidSusan。“I”vegottogetupmyselffirst。I”velearnedatleastthatmuch。”
“Oh，you”llforgetallabout_me_。”
“No，“saidSusan。
AndClaraknewthatshewouldnot。MoanedClara，“I”mnotfittogo。I”monlyacommonstreetwalker。Youbelongupthere。
You”regoingbacktoyourown。ButIbelonghere。IwishtoGodIwaslikemostofthepeopledownhere，anddidn”thaveanysense。Nowonderyouusedtodrinkso！I”mgettingthatway，too。Theonlypeoplethatdon”thittheboozeharddownherearethemuttonheadswhodon”tknownothingandcan”tlearnnothing……Iusedtobecontented。Butsomehow，beingwithyousomuchhasmademedissatisfied。”
“Thatmeansyou”reonyourwayup，“saidSusan，busywithherpacking。
“Itwould，ifIhadsenseenough。Oh，it”stormenttohavesenseenoughtosee，andnotsenseenoughtodo！“
“I”llcomeforyousoon，“saidSusan。“You”regoingupwithme。”
Clarawatchedherforsometimeinsilence。“You”resureyou”regoingtowin？“saidshe，atlast。
“Sure，“repliedSusan。
“Oh，youcan”tbeassureasthat。”
“Yes，butIcan，“laughedshe。“I”mdonewithfoolishness。
I”vemadeupmymindtogetupintheworld——_with_myself-respectifpossible；ifnot，thenwithoutit。I”mgoingtohaveeverything——money，comfort，luxury，pleasure。
Everything！“Andshedroppedafoldedskirtemphaticallyuponthepileshehadbeenmaking，andgaveashort，sharpnod。“I
wastaughtalotofthingswhenIwaslittle——thingsaboutbeingsweetandunselfishandallthat。They”dbefine，iftheworldwasHeaven。Butitisn”t。”
“Notexactly，“saidClara。
“Maybethey”refine，ifyouwanttogettoHeaven，“continuedSusan。“ButI”mnottryingtogettoHeaven。I”mtryingtoliveonearth。Idon”tlikethegame，andIdon”tlikeitsrules。But——it”stheonlygame，andIcan”tchangetherules。
SoI”mgoingtofollowthem——atleast，untilIgetwhatIwant。”
“Doyoumeantosayyou”vegotanyrespectforyourself？“saidClara。“__I__haven”t。AndIdon”tseehowanygirlinourlinecanhave。”
“IthoughtIhadn”t，“wasSusan”sreply，“untilItalkedwith——withsomeoneImettheotherday。Ifyouslippedandfellinthemud——orwerethrownintoit——youwouldn”tsay，`I”mdirtythroughandthrough。Icannevergetcleanagain”——wouldyou？“
“Butthat”sdifferent，“objectedClara。
“Notabit，“declaredSusan。“Ifyoulookaroundthisworld，you”llseethateverybodywhoevermovedaboutatallhasslippedandfalleninthemud——orhasbeenpushedin。”
“Mostlypushedin。”
“Mostlypushedin，“assentedSusan。“Andthosethathavegoodsensegetupassoonastheycan，andwashasmuchofthemudoffas”llcomeoff——maybeall——andgoon。Thefools——theyworryaboutthemud。ButnotI——notanymore！……Andnotyou，mydear——whenIgetyouuptown。”
ClarawasnowlookingonSusan”sdepartureasadawnofgoodluckforherself。Shetookaheadachepowder，telephonedforacarriage，andhelpedcarrydownthetwobigpackagesthatcontainedallSusan”spossessionsworthmoving。Andtheykissedeachothergood-bywithsmilingfaces。SusandidnotgiveClara，theloose-tongued，hernewaddress；nordidClara，consciousofherownweakness，askforit。
“Don”tputyourselfoutaboutme，“criedClarainfarewell。
“Getagoodtightgripyourself，first。”
“That”sadviceIneed，“answeredSusan。“Good-by。
Soon——_soon！_“
Thecarriagehadtomoveslowlythroughthosenarrowtenementstreets，sothrongedweretheywiththepeopleswarmedfromhotlittleroomsintotheopentotrytogetalittleairthatdidnotthreatentoburnandchokeasitenteredthelungs。
Susan”snostrilswerefilledwiththestenchesofanimalandvegetabledecay——stenchesdescendinginheavycloudsfromtheopenwindowsoftheflatsandfromthefireescapescrowdedwithallmannerofrubbish；stenchesfromtherotting，brimfulgarbagecans；stenchesfromthegroceriesandbutchershopsandbakerieswherethepoorestqualitiesoffoodwereexposedtothecontaminationofswarmsofdisgustingfatflies，ofmangy，vermin-harassedchildrenandcatsanddogs；stenchesfromtheneverwashedhumanbodies，cladinfilthygarmentsanddrawnoutofshapebydiseaseandtoil。Soreeyes，scrofula，witheredarmorleg，saggedshoulder，hipoutofjoint——There，crawlingalongthesidewalk，wastheboywhoselegshadbeencutoffbythestreetcar；andthestumpswerehorriblyulcered。Andthereatthebasementwindowdrooledandcackledthefatidiotgirlwhosemothersacrificedeverythingalwaystodressherfreshlyinpink。Whataworld！——whereafewpeoplesuchaveryfew！——livedinhealthandcomfortandcleanliness——andthemillionslivedindiseaseandsqualor，ignorant，untouchedofcivilizationsavetowearitscast-offclothesandtoeatitscastawayfoodandtoliveinitsdarknoisomecellars！——Andtotoilunceasinglytomakeforothersthegoodthingsofwhichtheyhadnonethemselves！
Itmadeherheartsick——thesadderbecausenothingcouldbedoneaboutit。Stayandhelp？Aswellstaytoputoutaconflagrationbarehandedandalone。
AsthecarriagereachedwiderSecondAvenue，thehorsesbrokeintoatrot。Susandrewalongbreathofthepurerair——thenshudderedasshesawthecornerwherethediveintowhichthecadethadluredherflaunteditstelltaleawnings。Lowerstillherspiritssankwhenshewaspassing，afewblocksfurtheron，themusichall。There，too，shehadhadachance，hadlethopeblazehigh。Andshewasgoingforward——into——theregionwhereshehadbeenaslavetoFreddiePalmer——no，tothesystemofwhichhewasaslavenolessthanshe——
“I_must_bestrong！I_must！_“Susansaidtoherself，andtherewasdesperationinthegleamofhereyes，inthesetofherchin。“ThistimeIwillfight！AndIfeelatlastthatIcan。”
Butherspiritssoarednomorethatday。XIV
SPERRYhadchosenfor“Mr。andMrs。Spenser“thesecondfloorrearofahouseonthesouthsideofWestForty-fifthStreetafewdoorsoffSixthAvenue。Itwasfurnishedasasitting-room——elegantinredplush，withoilpaintingsonthewalls，afringedredsilk-plushdadofastenedtothemantelpiecewithbrightbrass-headedtacks，elaborateimitationlacethrowsonthesofaandchairs，andanimposingpiecethatmighthavebeenacabinetorganorapianolaoraroll-topdeskbutwasinfactacomfortablefoldingbed。
Therewasamarblestationarywashstandbehindthehand-embroideredscreeninthecorner，nearoneofthetwowindows。Throughadeepclothesclosetwasasmallbutsatisfactorybathroom。
“Andit”swarminwinter，“saidMrs。Norris，thelandlady，toSusan。“Don”tyouhateacoldbathroom？“
Susandeclaredthatshedid。
“There”sonlyonethingIhateworse，“saidMrs。Norris，“andthat”scoldcoffee。”
Shehadoneofthoselargefaceswhichlookbaldbecausetheframeofhairdoesnotbeginuntilunusuallyfarback。Atfifty，whenherhairwouldbethin，Mrs。Norriswouldbehomely；butatthirtyshewashandsomeinabold，strongway。Herhairwasalwayscarefullydone，hergoodfigurebeautifullycorseted。ItwassaidshewasnotmarriedtoMr。
Norris——becauseNewYorklikestobelievethatpeoplearelivingtogetherwithoutbeingmarried，becauseMr。Norriscameandwentirregularly，andbecauseMrs。Norriswassoparticularabouthertoilet——andeveryoneknowsthatwhenawomanhasthemanwithwhomshe”ssatisfiedsecurelyfastened，sheshowshercontentorhervirtuousindifferencetoothermen——orherlaziness——byneglectingherhairandherhipsanddressinginanyoldthinganywhichway。WhateverthetruthastoMrs。Norris”sdomesticlife，shecarriedherselfstrictlyandinsisteduponkeepingherhouseasrespectableascanreasonablybeexpectedinalargecity。Thatis，everyoneinitwasquiet，wasofsteadyandsedatehabit，wasbackedbyreferences。NotuntilSperryhadthoroughlyqualifiedasaresponsiblepersondidMrs。NorrisaccepthisassurancesastotheSpensersandconsenttoreceivethem。Downtowntheapartmenthousesthatadmitpersonsofloosecharacterareusuallymoreexpensivebecausethatclassoftenantshavemoreandexpectmorethanordinaryworkingpeople。Uptownthecustomisthereverse；togetintoarespectablehouseyoumustpaymore。TheSpensershadtopayfourteenaweekfortheirquarters——andtheyweregettingarealbargain，Mrs。
Norrishavingaweaknessforliteratureandartwheretheywererespectableandpaidregularly。
“What”sleftofthetwohundredandfiftywillnotlastlong，“
saidSpensertoSusan，whentheywereestablishedandalone。
“Butwe”llhaveanotherfivehundredassoonastheplay”sdone，andthat”llbeinlessthanamonth。We”retobegintomorrow。Inlessthantwomonthstheplay”llbeonandtheroyaltieswillbecomingin。IwonderhowmuchIowethedoctorandthehospital。”
“That”ssettled，“saidSusan。
Heglancedatherwithafrown。“Howmuchwasit？Youhadnorighttopay！“
“Youcouldn”thavegoteitherdoctororroomwithoutpaymentinadvance。”Shespoketranquilly，withaquietassuranceofmannerthatwasnewinher，thenervousandsensitiveaboutcausingdispleasureinothers。Sheadded，“Don”tbecross，Rod。Youknowit”sonlypretense。”
“Don”tyoubelieveanybodyhasanydecency？“demandedhe。
“Itdependsonwhatyoumeanbydecency，“repliedshe。“Butwhytalkofthepast？Let”sforgetit。”
“IwouldthatIcould！“exclaimedhe。
Shelaughedathisheroics。“Putthatinyourplay，“saidshe。“Butthisisn”tthemelodramaofthestage。It”sthefarcecomedyoflife。”
“Howyouhavechanged！Hasallthesweetness，allthewomanliness，goneoutofyourcharacter？“
Sheshowedhowlittleshewasimpressed。“I”velearnedtotaketerriblethings——reallyterriblethings——withoutmakingafuss——orfeelinglikemakingafuss。Youcan”texpectmetogetexcitedovermerestaginess。They”refondoffakeemotionsupinthispartoftown。ButdownwhereI”vebeensolongtherealhorrorscometoothickandfastfortheretobeanytimetofake。”
Hecontinuedtofrown，presentlycameoutofadeepstudytosay，“Susie，IseeI”vegottohaveaserioustalkwithyou。”
“Waittillyou”rewell，mydear，“saidshe。“I”mafraidI”llnotbeverysympatheticwithyourseriousness。”
“No——today。I”mnotaninvalid。Andourrelationsworryme，wheneverIthinkofthem。”
Heobservedherasshesatwithhandslooselyclaspedinherlap；therewasaninscrutablelookuponherdelicateface，upontheclear-cutfeaturessoattractivelyframedbyherthickdarkhair，browninsomelights，blackinothers。
“Well？“saidshe。
“Tobegin，Iwantyoutostoprougingyourlips。It”stheonlysignof——ofwhatyouwere。I”dalittleratheryoudidn”tsmoke。Butasrespectablewomensmokenowadays，whyI
don”tseriouslyobject。Andwhenyougetmoreclothes，getquieterones。Notthatyoudressloudlyorinbadtaste——”
“Thankyou，“murmuredSusan。
“Whatdidyousay？“
“Ididn”tmeantointerrupt。Goon。”
“Iadmirethewayyoudress，butitmakesmejealous。Iwantyoutohaveniceclothesforthehouse。Ilikethingsthatshowyourneckandsuggestyourform。ButIdon”twantyouattractingmen”seyesandtheirloosethoughts，inthestreet……AndIdon”twantyoutolooksodamnablyalluringaboutthefeet。That”syourbesttrick——andyourworst。Whyareyousmiling——inthatfashion？“
“YoutalktomeasifIwereyourwife。”
Hegazedatherwithanexpressionthatwasasaffectionateasitwasgenerous——anditwasmostgenerous。“Well，youmaybesomeday——ifyoukeepstraight。AndIthinkyouwill。”
Theartificialredofherlipsgreatlyhelpedtomakehersweetlysmilingfacetheperfectionofgentleirony。“Andyou？“saidshe。
“Youknowperfectlywellit”sdifferentaboutaman。”
“Iknownothingofthesort，“repliedshe。“Amongcertainkindsofpeoplethatistherule。ButI”mnotofthosekinds。
I”mtryingtomakemywayintheworld，exactlylikeaman。
SoI”vegottobefreefromtherulesthatmaybeallverywellforladies。Awomancan”tfightwithherhandstied，anymorethanamancan——andyouknowwhathappenstothemenwhoallowthemselvestobetied；they”repoordowntroddencreaturesworkinghardatsmallpayforthemenwhofightwiththeirhandsfree。”
“I”vetakenyououtoftheunprotectedwomanclass，mydear，“
heremindedher。“You”remine，now，andyou”regoingbackwhereyoubelong。”
“Backtothecageit”stakenmesolongtolearntodowithout？“Sheshookherhead。“No，Rod——Icouldn”tpossiblydoit——notifIwantedto……You”vegotseveralfalseideasaboutme。You”llhavetogetridofthem，ifwe”retogetalong。”
“Forinstance？“
“Inthefirstplace，don”tdeludeyourselfwiththenotionthatI”dmarryyou。Idon”tknowwhetherthemanIwasforcedtomarryisdeadorwhetherhe”sgotadivorce。Idon”tcare。
NomatterhowfreeIwasIshouldn”tmarryyou。”
Hesmiledcomplacently。Shenoteditwithoutirritation。
Truly，smallindeedistheheatofanykindthatcanbegotfromthewarmed-upashesofaburnt-outpassion。Shewenteasilyon：
“Youhavenothingtoofferme——neitherlovenormoney。Andawoman——unlessshe”sapoorexcuse——insistsononeortheother。
YouandIfanciedwelovedeachotherforawhile。Wedon”tfoolourselvesinthatwaynow。AtleastIdon”t，thoughI
believeyoudoimagineI”minlovewithyou。”
“Youwouldn”tbehereifyouweren”t。”
“Putthatoutofyourhead，Rod。It”llonlybreedtrouble。
Idon”tliketosaythesethingstoyou，butyoucompelmeto。
Ilearnedlongagohowfoolishitistoputoffunpleasantthingsthatwillhavetobefacedintheend。Thelongerthey”reputofftheworsethefinalreckoningis。Mostofmytroubleshavecomethroughmybeingtooweakorgood-natured——orwhateveritwas——toactasmygoodsensetoldme。I”mnotgoingtomakethatmistakeanymore。AndI”mgoingtostartthenewdealwithabsolutefranknesswithyou。
Iamnotinlovewithyou。”
“Iknowyoubetterthanyouknowyourself，“saidhe。
“ForalittlewhileafterIfoundyouagainIdidhaveareturnoftheoldfeeling——orsomethinglikeit。Butitsoonpassed。Icouldn”tloveyou。Iknowyoutoowell。”
Hestruggledhardwithhistemper，ashisvanitylashedatit。
Shesaw，struggledwithheroldsensitivenessaboutinflictingevennecessarypainuponothers，wenton：
“Isimplylikeyou，Rod——andthat”sall。We”rewellacquainted。You”rephysicallyattractivetome——notwildlyso，butenough——morethananyotherman——probablymorethanmosthusbandsaretotheirwives——ormostwivestotheirhusbands。Soaslongasyoutreatmewellanddon”twanderofftootherwomen，I”mmorethanwillingtostayonhere。”
“Really！“saidhe，inanintenselysarcastictone。“Really！“
“Now——keepyourtemper，“shewarned。“Didn”tIkeepminewhenyouwerehandingmethatimpertinenttalkabouthowIshoulddressandtherestofit？No——letmefinish。Inthesecondplaceandinconclusion，mydearRod，I”mnotgoingtoliveoffyou。I”llpaymyhalfoftheroom。I”llpayformyownclothes——androugeformylips。I”llbuyandcookwhatweeatintheroom；you”llpaywhenwegotoarestaurant。Ibelievethat”sall。”
“Areyouquitesure？“inquiredhewithmuchsatire。
“Yes，Ithinkso。Except——ifyoudon”tlikemyterms，I”mreadytoleaveatonce。”
“Andgobacktothestreets，Isuppose？“jeeredhe。
“Ifitwerenecessary——yes。SolongasI”vegotmyyouthandmyhealth，I”lldopreciselyasIplease。I”venocravingforrespectability——nottheslightest。I——I——”Shetriedtospeakofherbirth，thatsecretshameofwhichshewasashamed。ShehadbeenthinkingthatBrent”sbigfinewayoflookingatthingshadcuredherofthisbitterness。Shefoundthatithadnot——asyet。Soshewenton，“I”dpreferyourfriendshiptoyourillwill——muchpreferit，asyou”retheonlypersonIcanlooktoforwhatamancandoforawoman，andasIlikeyou。ButifIhavetotaketyrannyalongwiththefriendship”shelookedathimquietlyandhertoneswerealmosttender，almostappealing”then，it”sgood-by，Rod。”
Shehadsilencedhim，forhesawinhereyes，muchmoregraythanvioletthoughthesuggestionofvioletwasthere，thatshemeantpreciselywhatshesaid。Hewasastonished，almostdazedbythechangeinher。ThiswomangrownwasnottheSusiewhohadlefthim。No——andyet——
Shehadlefthim，hadn”tshe？Thatshowedacharactercompletelyhiddenfromhim，perhapsthecharacterhewasnowseeing。Heasked——andtherewasnosarcasmandagreatdealofuneasinessinhistone：
“Howdoyouexpecttomakealiving？“
“I”vegotaplaceatfortydollarsaweek。”
“Fortydollarsaweek！You！“Hescowledsavagelyather。
“There”sonlyonethinganyonewouldpayyoufortyaweekfor。”
“That”swhatI”dhavesaid，“rejoinedshe。“Butitseemsnottobetrue。Myluckmaynotlast，butwhileitlasts，I”llhavefortyaweek。”
“Idon”tbelieveyou，“saidhe，withtheangrybluntnessofjealousy。
“Thenyouwantmetogo？“inquiredshe，withacertainmelancholybutwithoutanyweakness。
Heignoredherquestion。Hedemanded：
“Who”sgivingittoyou？“
“Brent。”
Spenserleanedfromthebedtowardherinhisexcitement。
“_Robert_Brent？“hecried。
“Yes。I”mtohaveapartinoneofhisplays。”
Spenserlaughedharshly。“Whatrot！You”rehismistress。”
“Itwouldn”tbestrangeforyoutothinkI”dacceptthatpositionforsolittle，butyoumustknowamanofhissortwouldn”thavesocheapamistress。”
“It”ssimplyabsurd。”
“Heistotrainmehimself。”
“Younevertoldmeyouknewhim。”
“Idon”t。”
“Whogotyouthejob？“
“HesawmeinFitzalan”sofficethedayyousentmethere。Heaskedmetocall，andwhenIwenthemademetheoffer。”
“Absoluterot。Whatreasondidhegive？“
“HesaidIlookedasifIhadthetemperamenthewasinsearchof。”
“Youmusttakemeforafool。”
“WhyshouldIlietoyou？“
“Godknows。Whydowomenlietomenallthetime？Forthepleasureoffoolingthem。”
“Oh，no。Togetmoney，Rod——thebestreasonintheworld，itbeingratherhardforawomantomakemoneybyworkingforit。”
“Theman”sinlovewithyou！“
“Iwishhewere，“saidSusan，laughing。“I”dnotbehere，mydear——youmaybesureofthat。AndI”dnotcontentmyselfwithfortyaweek。Oh，youdon”tknowwhattastesI”vegot！
WaittillIturnmyselfloose。”
“Well——youcan——inafewmonths，“saidSpenser。
Evenashehadbeenprotestinghisdisbeliefinherstory，hismannertowardherhadbeengrowingmorerespectful——achangethatatoncehurtandamusedherwithitscynicalsuggestions，andalsopleasedher，givingheraconfidence-breedingsenseofanewvalueinherself。Rodwenton，withakindofshamefacedminglingofjestandearnest：
“Youstickbyme，Susie，oldgirl，andthetime”llcomewhenI”llbeabletogiveyoumorethanBrent。”
“Ihopeso，“saidSusan。
Heeyedhersharply。“Ifeellikeafoolbelievingsuchafairystoryasyou”vebeentellingme。YetIdo。”
“That”sgood，“laughedshe。“NowIcanstay。Ifyouhadn”tbelievedme，I”dhavehadtogo。AndIdon”twanttodothat——notyet。”
Hiseyesflinched。“Notyet？Whatdoesthatmean？“
“ItmeansI”mcontenttostay，atpresent。Whocananswerfortomorrow？“Hereyeslitupmockingly。“Forinstance——you。
Todayyouthinkyou”regoingtobetruetomedon”tyou？Yettomorrow——orassoonasyougetstrengthandstreetclothes，I
maycatchyouinsomerestauranttellingsomegirlshe”stheoneyou”vebeengettingreadyfor。”
Helaughed，butnotheartily。Sperrycame，andSusanwenttobuyatadepartmentstoreacompleteoutfitforRod，whostillhadonlynightshirts。Asshehadoftenboughtforhimintheolddays，shefeltshewouldhavenodifficultyinfittinghimnearlyenough，withheraccurateeyesupplementingthemeasurementsshehadtaken。Whenshegotbackhometwohoursandahalflater，bringingherpurchasesinacab，SperryhadgoneandRodwasasleep。Shesatinthebathroom，withthegaslighted，andworkedat“Cavalleria“untilsheheardhimcalling。Hehadawakenedinhighgood-humor。
“ThatwasanawfulrakingyougavemebeforeSperrycame，“
beganhe。“Butitdidmegood。Amangetssointhehabitoforderingwomenaboutthatitbecomessecondnaturetohim。
You”vemadeitcleartomethatI”veevenlesscontroloveryouthanyouhaveoverme。So，dear，I”mgoingtobehumbleandtrytogivesatisfaction，asservantssay。”
“You”dbetter，“laughedSusan。“Atleast，untilyougetonyourfeetagain。”
“Yousaywedon”tloveeachother，“Rodwenton，abecomingbrightnessinhisstrongface。“Well——maybeso。But——wesuiteachother——don”twe？“
“That”swhyIwanttostay，“saidSusan，sittingonthebedandlayingherhandcaressinglyuponhis。“Icouldstandittogo，forI”vebeentrainedtostandanything——everything。
ButI”dhateit。”
Heputhisarmroundher，drewheragainsthisbreast。
“Aren”tyouhappyhere？“hemurmured。
“Happierthananyplaceelseintheworld，“repliedshesoftly。
Afterawhileshegotasmalldinnerfortheirtwoselvesonthegasstoveshehadbroughtwithherandhadsetupinthebathroom。Astheyate，shecross-leggedonthebedoppositehim，theybeamedcontentedlyateachother。“DoyourememberthedinnerwehadattheSt。NicholasinCincinnati？“askedshe。
“Itwasn”tasgoodasthis，“declaredhe。“Notnearlysowellcooked。Youcouldmakeafortuneasacook。Butthenyoudoeverythingwell。”
“Eventorougingmylips？“
“Oh，forgetit！“laughedhe。“I”manass。There”sawonderfulfascinationinthecontrastbetweenthedashofscarletandthepallorofthatclear，lovelyskinofyours。”
Hereyesdanced。“Youaregettingwell！“sheexclaimed。“I”msorryIboughtyouclothes。I”llbeuneasyeverytimeyou”reout。”
“Youcantrustme。IseeI”vegottohustletokeepmyjobwithyou。Well，thankGod，yourfriendBrent”soldenoughtobeyourfather。”
“Ishe？“criedSusan。“Doyouknow，Ineverthoughtofhisage。”
“Yes，he”sfortyatleast——more。Areyousureheisn”tafter_you_，Susie？“
“HewarnedmethatifIannoyedhiminthatwayhe”ddischargeme。”
“Doyoulikehim？“
“I——don”t——know“wasSusan”sslow，reflectiveanswer。
“I”m——afraidofhim——alittle。”
Bothbecamesilent。FinallyRodsaid，withanimpatientshakeofthehead，“Let”snotthinkofhim。”
“Let”stryonyournewclothes，“criedSusan。
Andwhenthedisheswereclearedawaytheyhadagrandtimetryingonthethingsshehadbought。Itwasamazinghownearshehadcometofittinghim。“Yououghttofeelflattered，“
saidshe。“Onlyalaboroflovecouldhaveturnedoutsowell。”
Heturnedabruptlyfromadmiringhisnewsuitintheglassandcaughtherinhisarms。“Youdoloveme——youdo！“hecried。
“Nowomanwouldhavedoneallyou”vedoneforme，ifshedidn”t。”
Foranswer，Susankissedhimpassionately；andasherbodytrembledwiththesuddenupheavalofemotionslongdormantorindulgedonlyindebased，hatefulways，sheburstintotears。
Sheknew，eveninthatmomentofpassion，thatshedidnotlovehim；butnotloveitselfcanmovetheheartmoredeeplythangratitudeandherbruisedheartwassogratefulforhiswordsandtonesandgesturesofaffection！
Wednesdayafternoon，onthewaytoBrent”shouse，sheglancedupattheclockinthecornertoweroftheGrandCentralStation。Itlackedfiveminutesofthree。Shewalkedslowly，timedherselfsoaccuratelythat，asthebutleropenedthedoor，acathedralchimehiddensomewhereintheupperinteriorboomedthehourmusically。Themantookherdirecttotheelevator，andwhenitstoppedatthetopfloor，Brenthimselfopenedthedoor，asbefore。HewasdismissingashortfatmanwhomSusanplacedasamanager，andatall，slim，andmostfashionablydressedwomanwithabeautifulinsincereface——anyonewouldhaveatoncedeclaredheranactress，probablyastar。ThewomangaveSusanasearching，femininelookwhichchangedswiftlytosuperciliousness。Boththemanandthewomanwereloathtogo，evidentlyhadnotfinishedwhattheyhadcometosay。ButBrent，inhisabruptbutcourteousway，said：
“Tomorrowatfour，then。Asyousee，mynextappointmenthasbegun。”Andhehadthemintheelevatorwiththedoorclosed。
HeturneduponSusanthegazethatseemedtotakeineverything。“Youareinbetterspirits，Isee，“saidhe。
“I”msorrytohaveinterrupted，“saidshe。“Icouldhavewaited。”
“But__I__couldn”t，“repliedhe。“Somedayyou”lldiscoverthatyourtimeisvaluable，andthattowasteitisfarsillierthanifyouweretowalkalongthrowingyourmoneyintothegutter。Timeoughttobeusedlikemoney——spentgenerouslybutintelligently。”Hetalkedrapidlyon，withhismannerasfullofunexpressedandinexpressibleintensityasthevoiceoftheviolin，withhisfrankegotismthathadnosuggestionofvanityorconceit。“BecauseIsystematizemytime，I”mneverinahurry，neveratalossfortimetogivetowhateverIwish。Ididn”trefusetokeepyouwaitingforyoursakebutformyown。Nowthenexthourbelongstoyouandme——andwe”llforgetabouttime——as，ifweweredininginarestaurant，we”dnotthinkofthebilltillitwaspresented。Whatdidyoudowiththeplay？“
Susancouldonlylookathimhelplessly。
Helaughed，handedheracigarette，rosetolightamatchforher。“Settleyourselfcomfortably，“saidhe，“andsaywhat”sinyourhead。”
Withhandsdeepinthetrousersofhishousesuit，hepacedupanddownthelongroom，thecigaretteloosebetweenhislips。
Whenevershesawhisfrontfaceshewasreassured；butwhenevershesawhisprofile，hernervestrembled——forintheprofiletherewasanexpressionofalmostferociousresolution，oftragicsadness，ofthesternnessthatsparesnot。Thefullfacewaskind，ifkeen；wassympathetic——wasthemanasnaturehadmadehim。Theprofilewasthegreatman——themanhiscareerhadmade。AndSusanknewthattheprofilewasmaster。
“Whichpartdidyoulike_Santuzza_or_Lola_？“
“_Lola_，“repliedshe。
Hepaused，lookedatherquickly。Why？“
“Oh，Idon”tsympathizewiththewoman——ortheman——who”sdeserted。Ipity，butIcan”thelpseeingit”sherorhisownfault。_Lola_explainswhy。Wouldn”tyouratherlaughthancry？_Santuzza_mayhavebeenattractiveinthemomentsofpassion，buthowshemusthavebored_Turiddu_therestofthetime！Shewassointense，soserious——sovainandselfish。”
“Vainandselfish？That”sinteresting。”Hewalkedupanddownseveraltimes，thenturnedonherabruptly。“Well——goon，“
hesaid。“I”mwaitingtohearwhyshewasvainandselfish。”
“Isn”titvainforawomantothinkamanoughttobecrazyaboutherallthetimebecauseheoncehasbeen？Isn”titselfishforhertowanthimtobetruetoherbecauseitgives_her_pleasure，eventhoughsheknowsitdoesn”tgive_him_pleasure？“
“Menandwomenareallvainandselfishinlove，“saidhe。
“Butthewomenaremeanerthanthemen，“repliedshe，“becausethey”remoreignorantandnarrow-minded。”
Hewasregardingherwithanexpressionthatmadeheruneasy。
“Butthatisn”tintheplay——noneofit，“saidhe。
“Well，itoughttobe，“repliedshe。“_Santuzza_istheold-fashionedconventionalheroine。Iusedtolikethem——untilIhadlivedalittle，myself。Sheisn”ttruetolife。Butin_Lola_——”
“Yes——whatabout_Lola_？“hedemanded。
“Oh，shewasn”taheroine，either。Shewasjusthuman——takinghappinesswhenitoffered。Andhergayety——andhercapriciousness。Amanwillalwaysbreakawayfromasolemn，intensewomantogetthatsortofsunshine。”
“Yes——yes——goon，“saidBrent。
“Andhersour，serious，solemnhusbandexplainswhywivesareuntruetotheirhusbands。Atleast，itseemssotome。”
Hewaswalkingupanddownagain。Everytraceofindolence，ofrelaxation，wasgonefromhisgaitandfromhisfeatures。
Hismindwasevidentlyworkinglikeanengineatfullspeed。
Suddenlyhehalted。“You”vegivenmeabigidea，“saidhe。
“I”llthrowawaytheplayIwasworkingon。I”lldoyourplay。”
Susanlaughed——pleased，yetalittleafraidhewaskinderthanshedeserved。“WhatIsaidwasonlycommonsense——whatmyexperiencehastaughtme。”
“That”sallthatgeniusis，mydear，“repliedhe。“Assoonaswe”reborn，oureyesareoperatedonsothatweshallneverseeanythingasitis。Thegeniusesarethosewhoeitherescapetheoperationorarereendowedwithtruesightbyexperience。”Henoddedapprovinglyather。“You”regoingtobeaperson——or，rather，you”regoingtoshowyou”reaperson。
Butthatcomeslater。Youthoughtof_Lola_asyourpart？“
“Itriedto。ButIdon”tknowanythingaboutactingexceptwhatI”veseenandthetalkI”veheard。”
“AsIsaidtheotherday，thatmeansyou”velittletolearn。
Now——asto_Lola”s_entrance。”
“Oh，Ithoughtofalotofthingstodo——toshowthatshe，too，loved_Turiddu_andthatshehadasmuchrighttolove——andtobeloved——as_Santuzza_had。_Santuzza_hadhadherchance，andhadfailed。”
Brentwashighlyamused。“Youseemtoforgetthat_Lola_wasamarriedwoman——andthatif_Santuzza_didn”tgetahusbandshe”dbethemotherofafatherlesschild。”
Neverhadheseeninherfacesuchacharmofsweetmelancholyasatthatmoment。“IsupposethewayIwasbornandthelifeI”veledmakemethinklessofthosethingsthanmostpeopledo，“repliedshe。“Iwastalkingaboutnaturalhearts——whatpeoplethinkinside——thewaytheyactwhentheyhavecourage。”
“Whentheyhavecourage，“Brentrepeatedreflectively。“Butwhohascourage？“
“Agreatmanypeoplearecompelledtohaveit，“saidshe。
“IneverhadituntilIgotenoughmoneytobeindependent。”
“Ineverhadit，“saidSusan，“untilIhadnomoney。”
Heleanedagainstthebigtable，foldedhisarmsonhischest，lookedatherwitheyesthatmadeherfeelabsolutelyateasewithhim。Saidhe：
“Youhaveknownwhatitwastohavenomoney——none？“
Susannodded。“Andnofriends——noplacetosleep——worseoffthan_RobinsonCrusoe_whenthewavesthrewhimontheisland。
Ihadto——tosuckmyownbloodtokeepalive。”
“Yousmileasyousaythat，“saidhe。
“IfIhadn”tlearnedtosmileoversuchthings，“sheanswered，“I”dhavebeendeadlongago。”
Heseatedhimselfoppositeher。Heasked：
“Whydidn”tyoukillyourself？“
“Iwasafraid。”
“Ofthehereafter？“
“Ohno。Ofmissingthecomingtrueofmydreamsaboutlife。”
“Love？“
“That——andmore。Justlovewouldn”tsatisfyme。Iwanttoseetheworld——toknowtheworld——andtobesomebody。Iwanttotry_everything_。”
Shelaughedgayly——asuddenfascinatingvanishingofthemelancholyofeyesandmouth，asuddenflashingoutofyoungbeauty。“I”vebeendownaboutasdeepasonecango。Iwanttoexploreintheotherdirection。”
“Yes——yes，“saidBrent，absently。“Youmustseeitall。”
Heremainedforsometimeinaprofoundreverie，sheasunconsciousofthepassingoftimeasheforifhehadhisthoughts，shehadhisfacetostudy。Tryasshewould，shecouldnotassociatetheideaofagewithhim——anyage。Heseemedsimplyagrownman。Andthemorecloselyshestudiedhimthegreaterherawebecame。Heknewsomuch；heunderstoodsowell。Shecouldnotimaginehimsweptawaybyanyofthepettyemotions——thevanities，thejealousies，thesmallrages，thesmallpassionsandlovesthatmadeupthepettydaysofthesmallcreatureswhoinhabittheworldandcallittheirs。Couldhefallinlove？Hadhebeeninlove？
Yes——hemusthavebeeninlovemanytimes——formanywomenmusthavetakentroubletopleaseamansowellworthwhile，andhemusthavepassedfromonewomantoanotherashiswhimsorhistasteschanged。Couldheevercareabouther——asawoman？
Didhethinkherwornoutasaphysicalwoman？Orwouldherealizethatbodyisnothingbyitself；thatunlessthesoulentersit，itiscoldandmeaninglessandworthless——liketheelectricbulbwhenthefilamentisdarkandthebeautiful，hot，brilliantandintenselylivingcurrentisnotinit？
Couldshelovehim？Couldsheeverfeelequalandatease，throughandthrough，withamansosuperior？
“You”dbetterstudythepartof_Lola_——learnthelines，“saidhe，whenhehadfinishedhisreflecting。“Then——thisdayweekatthesamehour——wewillbegin。Wewillworkallafternoon——wewilldinetogether——gotosometheaterwhereI
canillustratewhatImean。BeginningwithnextWednesdaythatwillbetheprogrameverydayuntilfurthernotice。”
“Untilyouseewhetheryoucandoanythingwithmeornot？“
“Justso。YouarelivingwithSpenser？“
“Yes。”Susancouldhavewishedhistonelessmatter-of-fact。
“Howishegettingon？“
“HeandSperryaredoingaplayforFitzalan。”
“Really？That”sgood。Hehastalent。Ifhe”lllearnofSperryandtalklessandworkmore，andsteadily，he”llmakealotofmoney。Youarenottiedtohiminanyway？“
“No——notnowthathe”sprospering。Except，ofcourse，thatI”mfondofhim。”
Heshruggedhisshoulders。“Oh，everybodymusthavesomebody。
You”venotseenthishouse。I”llshowittoyou，aswe”vestillfifteenminutes。”
Aluxurioushouseitwas——filledwiththingscuriousand，someofthem，beautiful——thingsgatheredinexcursionsthroughEurope，Susanassumed。Theonlyabsolutelysimpleroomwashisbedroom，bigandbareandsoarrangedthathecouldsleeppracticallyoutofdoors。Shesawservants——twomenbesidesthebutler，severalwomen。Butthehousewasabachelor”shouse，withnotatraceoffeminineinfluence。AndevidentlyhecarednothingaboutitbutlivedentirelyinthatwonderfulworldwhichsoawedSusan——theworldhehadcreatedwithinhimself，theworldofwhichshehadalluringglimpsesthroughhiseyes，throughhistonesandgestureseven。Smallpeoplestrivetomake，anddomake，impressionofthemselvesbylaboringtoshowwhattheyknowandthink。Butthepersonofthelargerkindmakesnosucheffort。IneverythingBrentsaidanddidandwore，inallhismovements，gestures，expressions，therewastheunmistakablehallmarkofthemanworthwhile。Thesociallifehasbanishedsimplicityfromeventhemostsavagetribe。Indeed，savages，filledwithsuperstitions，theireverymovementtheresultofsomenotionofproperceremonial，arethemostcomplexofallthehumankind。Theefforttowardsimplicityisnotamovementbacktonature，fortheresavageandloweranimalarecompletelyenslavedbycustomandinstinct；itisamovementupwardtowardthefreedomofthoughtandactionofwhichourbestintelligencehasgivenusaconceptionandforwhichithasgivenusalonging。NeverhadSusanmetsosimpleaman；andneverhadsheseenonesofarfromallthesillyostentationsofrudeness，ofunattractivedress，ofeccentricorcoarsespeechwherewiththecheapsortofmanstrivestoproclaimhimselfindividualandfree。
Withherinstinctforrecognizingthebestatfirstsight，Susanatonceunderstood。Andshewaslikeonewhohasbeenstumblingaboutsearchingfortherightroad，andhasitsuddenlyshowntohim。Shefairlydartedalongthisrightroad。Shewasimmediatelybusy，notingthemistakesinherownideasofmannersanddress，ofgoodandbadtaste。Sherealizedhowmuchshehadtolearn。Butthisdidnotdiscourageher。Forsherealizedatthesametimethatshecouldlearn——andhisobviousbeliefinherasapossibilitywasmostencouraging。
Whenhebadehergood-byatthefrontdooranditclosedbehindher，shewasallatoncesotiredthatitseemedtohershewouldthenandtheresinkdownthroughsheerfatigueandfallasleep。Fornophysicalexercisesoquicklyandutterlyexhaustsasrealbrainexercise——thinking，studying，learningwithalltheconcentratedintensityofathoroughbredinthelastquarterofthemilerace。XV
SPENSERhadtimeandthoughtforhisplayonly。HenolongertormentedhimselfwithjealousyoftheabilitiesandincomeandfameofBrentandtheothersuccessfulwritersforthestage；wasnotheabouttoequalthem，probablytosurpassthem？Asarule，noneofthemeanemotionsisabletothrive——unlessithasthenoxiousvaporsfromdisappointmentandfailuretofeedupon。Spenser，inspiritsandinhopeagain，wascontentwithhimself。JealousyofBrentaboutSusanhadbeenbornofdissatisfactionwithhimselfasafailureandenvyofBrentasasuccess；itdiedwiththatdissatisfactionandthatenvy。Hisvanityassuredhimthatwhiletheremightbepossibly——waysinwhichhewasnotwithoutrivals，certainlywherewomenwereconcernedhesimplycouldnotbeequaled；thewomanhewantedhecouldhave——andhecouldholdheraslongashewished。TheideathatSusanwouldgiveasentimentalthoughttoaman“oldenoughtobeherfather“——Brentwasforty-one——wastoopreposteroustopresentitselftohismind。Shelovedthehandsome，fascinating，youthfulRoderickSpenser；shewouldsoonbecrazyabouthim。
Rarelydoesitoccurtoamantowonderwhatawomanisthinking。Duringcourtshipveryyoungmenattributeintellectandqualitiesofmysteryandawetothewomantheylove。Butaftermengetaninsightintothemindofwomananddiscoverhowtrivialarethemattersthatofnecessityusuallyengageit，theybecomeskepticalaboutfemininementality；theywouldassoonthinkofspeculatingonwhatprofunditiesfillthebrainofthekittenplayingwithaballasofseekingasolutionofthemysterybehindawoman”sfitsofabstraction。
However，therewasinSusan”sface，especiallyinhereyes，anexpressionsounusual，soarrestingthatSpenser，self-centeredandconvincedofwoman”sintellectualdeficiencythoughhewas，didsometimesinquirewhatshewasthinkingabout。HeaskedthisquestionatbreakfastthemorningafterthatsecondvisittoBrent。
“WasIthinking？“shecountered。
“Youcertainlywerenotlistening。Youhaven”tanotionwhatIwastalkingabout。”
“Aboutyourplay。”
“Ofcourse。YouknowItalknothingelse，“laughedhe。“I
mustboreyouhorribly。”
“No，indeed，“protestedshe。
“No，Isupposenot。You”renotboredbecauseyoudon”tlisten。”
Hewascheerfulaboutit。Hetalkedmerelytoarrangehisthoughts，notbecauseheexpectedSusantounderstandmattersfaraboveonewhomnaturehadfashionedandexperiencehadtrainedtoministersatisfyinglytothephysicalandsentimentalneedsofman。Heassumedthatshewasasworshipfulbeforehisintellectasintheolddays。Hewouldhavebeenevenmoreamazedthanenragedhadheknownthatsheregardedhisplayasmediocreclaptrap，falsetolife，fitonlyfortheunthinking，sloppilysentimentalcrowdthatcouldnotseethetruthabouteventheirownlives，theirownthoughtsandactions。
“Thereyougoagain！“criedhe，afewminuteslater。“What_are_youthinkingabout？IforgottoaskhowyougotonwithBrent。Poorchap——he”shadseveralfailuresinthepastyear。
Hemustbehorriblycutup。Theysayhe”swrittenout。Whatdoeshethinkhe”stryingtogetatwithyou？“
“Acting，asItoldyou，“repliedSusan。Shefeltashamedforhim，makingthispitiableexhibitionofpatronizingagreatman。
“Sperrytellsmehehashadthattwistinhisbrainforalongtime——thathehastriedoutadozengirlsormore——dropsthemafterafewweeksormonths。Hehasaregularsystemaboutit——runsawayabroad，stopsthepayafteramonthorso。”
“Well，thefortyaweek”scleargainwhileitlasts，“saidSusan。Shetriedtospeaklightly。Butshefelthurtanduncomfortable。Therehadcreptintohermindoneofthosedisagreeableideasthatskurryintosomeduskycornertohide，andreappearfromtimetotimemakingeveryfitofthebluessomuchthesadderandaggravatingdespondencytowarddespair。
“Oh，Ididn”tmeantosuggestthat_you_wouldn”tsucceed，“
Spenserhastenedtoapologizewithmoreorlessrealkindliness。“SperrysaysBrenthassomegoodideasaboutacting。So，you”lllearnsomething——maybeenoughtoenablemetoputyouinagoodposition——ifBrentgetstiredandifyoustillwanttobeindependent，asyoucallit。”
“Ihopeso，“saidSusanabsently。
Spenserwasnomoreabsorbedinhiscareerthansheinhers；
only，sherealizedhowuselessitwouldbetotrytotalkittohim——thathewouldnotgivehersomuchasearsinanattitudeofpoliteattention。Ifhecouldhavelookedintoherheadthatmorningandseenwhatthoughtsweredistractingherfromhearingaboutthegreatplay，hewouldhavebeenmoreamusedanddisgustedthaneverwithfemininefrivolityofmindandincapacityinseriousmatters。For，itsohappenedthatatthemomentSusanwasconcentratingonanewdress。HewouldhavelaughedinthefaceofanyonesayingtohimthatthisnewdresswasforSusaninthepursuitofherschemeoflifequiteasweightyamatter，quiteasworthyofthemostcarefulattention，aswashisplayforhim。Yetthatwouldhavebeentheliteraltruth。Primarilyman”sappealistotheear，woman”stotheeye——thereason，bytheway，whythetheater——preeminentlytheplaceto_see_——tendstobedominatedbywoman。
Susanhadmadeuphermindnotonlythatshewouldrapidlyimproveherselfineveryway，butalsohowshewouldgoabouttheimproving。Shesawthat，forawomanatleast，dressisasmuchtheprimeessentialasanarrestingshowwindowforadealerinarticlesthatdisplaywell。Sheknewshewasfarfromthegoalofwhichshedreamed——thepositionwhereshewouldnolongerbeawomanprimarilybutapersonage。Dresswouldnotmerelyincreaseherphysicalattractiveness；itwouldachievethefarmoreimportantendofgainingheralargemeasureofconsideration。ShefeltthatBrent，evenBrent，dealerinactualitiesandnottobefooledbypretenses，wouldinspiteofhimselfchangehisopinionofherifshewenttohimdressedlesslikeamiddleclassworkinggirl，morelikethewomanoftheupperclasses。Atbest，usingalltheadvantagesshehad，shefelttherewassmallenoughchanceofherholdinghisinterest；forshecouldnotmakeherselfbelievethathewasnotdeceivinghimselfabouther。However，tostrengthenherselfineverywaywithhimwasobviouslythewisesteffortshecouldmake。So，shemusthaveanewdressforthenextmeeting，onewhichwouldmakehimbetterpleasedtotakeherouttodinner。True，ifshecameinrags，hewouldnotbedisturbed——forhehadnothingofthesnobinhim。Butatthesametime，ifshecamedressedlikeawomanofhisownclass，hewouldbeimpressed。“He”saman，ifheisagenius，“reasonedshe。
Vitalthoughthematterwas，shecalculatedthatshedidnotdarespendmorethantwenty-fivedollarsonthistoilet。Shemustputbysomeofherfortyaweek；Brentmightgiveherupatanytime，andshemustnotbeinthepositionofhavingtochooseimmediatelybetweensubmittingtotheslaveryofthekeptwomanasSpenser”sdependentandsubmittingtothecostlyanddangerousandrepulsivefreedomofthewomanofthestreets。Thus，tolayouttwenty-fivedollarsonasinglecostumewasawildextravagance。Shethoughtitoverfromeverypointofview；shedecidedthatshemusttaketherisk。
LateintheafternoonshewalkedforanhourinFifthAvenue。
Aftersomehesitationsheventuredintothewaiting-anddressing-roomsofseveralfashionablehotels。Shewasinsearchofideasforthedress，whichmustbeintheprevailingfashion。Shehadfartoogoodsenseandgoodtastetoattempttobewhollyoriginalindress；sheknewthatthewomanwhounderstandsherbusinessdoesnottrytocreateafashionbutusesthechangingandcapriciousfashionasthemeanstoexpressaconstantandconsistentstyleofherown。Sheappreciatedherlimitationsinsuchmatters——howfarsheasyetwasfromtheknowledgenecessarytoformingapermanentandself-expressivestyle。Shewaspreparedtobemostcautiousingivingplaytoanindividualtastesoimperfectlyeducatedashershadnecessarilybeen。
Shefeltthatshehadthenaturalinstinctforthebestandcouldrecognizeitonsight——aninstinctwithoutwhichnoonecangoastepforwardinanyofthearts。Shehadlongsincelearnedtodiscriminateamongthevastmassesofoffering，mostofthemtastelessorcommonplace，toselecttherareandfewthingsthathavemerit。Thus，shehadalwaysstoodoutinthetawdrilyordrearilyorfussilydressedthrongs，hadbeenapleasuretotheeyesevenofthosewhodidnotknowwhytheywerepleased。Onthatmomentousday，shefinallysawawomandressedinadmirabletastewhowaswearingacostumesimpleenoughforhertoventuretothinkofcopyingthemainpoints。
Shewalkedseveralblocksafewyardsbehindthiswoman，thenhurriedaheadofher，turnedandwalkedtowardhertoinspectthefrontofthedress。SherepeatedthisseveraltimesbetweentheSt。RegisandSherry”s。Thewomansoonrealized，aswomenalwaysdo，whatthegirlintheshirtwaistandshortskirtwasabout。Butshehappenedtobeagood-naturedperson，andsmiledpleasantlyatSusan，andgotinreturnasmilesheprobablydidnotsoonforget。
ThenextmorningSusanwentshopping。Shehaditinmindtogetthematerialsforacostumeofacertaindelicateshadeofviolet。Adressofthatshade，andabighattrimmedintulletomatchortoharmonize，withabunchofsilkvioletsfastenedinthetulleinacertainway。
Susanknewshehadgoodlooks，knewwhatwasbecomingtoherdarklyandsoftlyfringedvioleteyes，pallidskin，toherrathertallfigure，slender，notvoluptuousyetsuggestingvoluptuousness。Shecouldseeherselfinthatvioletcostume。
Butwhenshebegantolookatmaterialsshehesitated。Thevioletwouldbebeautiful；butitwasnotawiseinvestmentforagirlwithfewclothes，withbutonebestdress。Shedidnotgiveitupdefinitely，however，untilshecameuponasixteen-yardremnantofsoftgrayChinacrepe。Graywasareallyserviceablecolorforthebestdressofagirlofsmallmeans。Andthisremnant，certainlyenoughforadress，couldbehadfortendollars，wherevioletChinacrepeoftheshadeshewantedwouldcostheradollarayard。Shetooktheremnant。
Shewenttothemillinerydepartmentandboughtalargehatframe。Itwasofagoodshapeandshesawhowitcouldbebenttosuitherface。Shepaidfiftycentsforthis，andtwodollarsandseventycentsforfouryardsofgraytulle。Shefoundthatsilkflowerswerebeyondhermeans；soshetookabunchofpresentablelookingvioletsofthecheaperkindattwodollarsandahalf。Shehappenedtopassacounterwhereonweredisplayedbargainsinbigbucklesandsimilaroddsandendsofsteelandenamel。Shefairlypounceduponahandsomegraybucklewithvioletenamel，whichcostbuteighty-ninecents。Forapairofgraysuedetiesshepaidtwodollars；forapairofgraysilkstockings，ninetycents。
Thesematters，withsomegraysilknetforthecollar，graysilkforabelt，liningsandthelike，madehertotalbilltwenty-threedollarsandsixty-sevencents。Shereturnedhomecontentandstudied“Cavalleria“untilherpurchasesarrived。
Spenserwasoutnow，wasworkingalldayandintheeveningsatSperry”sofficehighupintheTimesBuilding。So，Susanhadfreedomforherdressmakingoperations。Togetthemoffhermindthatshemightworkuninterruptedlyatlearning_Lola”s_partin“Cavalleria，“shetoiledallSaturday，farintoSundaymorning，wasastirbeforeSpenserwaked，finishedthedresssoonafterbreakfastandthehatbythemiddleoftheafternoon。WhenSpenserreturnedfromSperry”sofficetotakehertodinner，shewasarrayed。Forthefirsttimehesawherinfashionableattireanditwasreallyfashionable，fordespiteallherdisadvantagesshe，whohadrealandrarecapacityforlearning，hadeducatedherselfwellinthechiefbusinessofwomantheman-catcherinheryearsinNewYork。
Hestoodrootedtothethreshold。ItwouldhavejustifiedavanitylessvigorousthanSusanoranyothernormalhumanbeingpossessed，toexcitesuchalookaswasinhiseyes。Hedrewalongbreathbywayofbreakingthespelloverspeech。
“Youare_beautiful！_“heexclaimed。
Andhiseyestraveledfromthebewitchinghat，setuponherheadcoquettishlyyetwithoutaudacity，tothesoftcrepedress，itsroundcollarshowingherperfectthroat，itsgracefullinessubtlyrevealingheralluringfigure，tothefeetthatmenalwaysadmired，whateverelseofbeautyorcharmtheymightfailtorealize。
“Howyouhavegrown！“heejaculated。Then，“Howdidyoudoit？“
“Byallbutbreakingmyself。”
“It”sworthwhateveritcost。IfIhadadresssuit，we”dgotoSherry”sortheWaldorf。I”mwillingtogo，withoutthedresssuit。”
“No。I”vegoteverythingreadyfordinnerathome。”
“Then，whyonearthdidyoudress？Togivemeatreat？“
“Oh，IhatetogooutinadressI”veneverworn。Andawomanhastowearahatagoodmanytimesbeforesheknowshow。”
“Whatalotoffussyouwomendomakeaboutclothes。”
“Youseemtolikeit，allthesame。”
“Ofcourse。Butit”satrifle。”
“Ithasgotmanywomenagoodproviderforlife。Andnotpayingattentiontodressornotknowinghowhasmademostoftheoldmaids。Arethosethingstrifles？“
Spenserlaughedandshiftedhisgroundwithoutanysenseofhavingbeenpressedtodoso。“Menarefoolswherewomenareconcerned。”
“Orwomenarewisewheremenareconcerned。”
“Iguesstheydoknowtheirbusiness——someofthem，“heconfessed。“Still，it”sasillybusiness，youmustadmit。”
“Nothingissillythat”ssuccessful，“saidSusan。
“Dependsonwhatyoumeanbysuccess，“arguedhe。
“Successisgettingwhatyouwant。”
“Providedonewantswhat”sworthwhile，“saidhe。
“Andwhat”sworthwhile？“rejoinedshe。“Why，whateveronehappenstowant。”
Toavoidanypossiblemischancetothe_grandetoilette_
heservedthedinneranddidthedangerouspartoftheclearingup。Theywenttothetheater，Rodenjoyingevenmorethanshetheveryconsiderableadmirationshegot。Whenshewasputtingthedressawaycarefullythatnight，Rodinquiredwhenhewastobetreatedagain。
“Oh——Idon”tknow，“repliedshe。“Notsoon。”