Hesmiledasifitwereajoke。“Youmeanforaplaceonthestage。
Thatisn”twork。_You_couldn”twork。Icanseethatataglance。”
“Whynot？“
“Oh，youhaven”tbeenbroughtuptothatkindoflife。You”dhateitineveryway。Andtheydon”tpaywomenanythingforwork。Myfatheremploysalotofthem。Mostofhisgirlsliveathome。Thatkeepsthewagesdown，andtheothershavetopieceoutwith“——hesmiled”onethingandanother。”
Susansatgazingstraightbeforeher。“I”venothadmuchexperience，“shefinallysaid，thoughtfully。“IguessIdon”tknowwhatI”mabout。”
Theyoungmanleanedtowardher，hisfaceflushingwithearnestness。“Youdon”tknowhowprettyyouare。Iwishmyfatherwasn”tsoclosewithme。I”dnotletyoueverspeakofworkagain——evenonthestage。Whatgoodtimeswecouldhave！“
“Imustbegoing，“saidshe，rising。Herwholebodywasalternatelyhotandcold。Inherbrain，lessvaguenow，weretheideasMabelConnemorahadopenedupforher。
“Oh，bother！“exclaimedhe。“Sitdownaminute。Youmisunderstoodme。Idon”tmeanI”mflatbroke。”
Susanhastilyreseatedherself，showingherconfusion。“Iwasn”tthinkingofthat。”
“Then——whatwereyouthinkingof？“
“Idon”tknow，“shereplied——truthfully，forshecouldnothaveputintowordsanythingdefiniteaboutthestruggleraginginherlikeabattleinafog。“Ioftendon”texactlyknowwhatI”mthinkingabout。Isomehowcan”t——can”tfitittogether——yet。”
“Doyousuppose，“hewenton，asifshehadnotspoken，“doyousupposeIdon”tunderstand？Iknowyoucan”taffordtoletmetakeyourtimefornothing……Don”tyoulikemealittle？“
Shelookedathimwithgravefriendliness。“Yes。”Then，seizedwithaterrorwhichherhabitualmannerofcalmconcealedfromhim，sheroseagain。
“Whyshouldn”titbemeaswellasanother？……AtleastsitdowntillIpaythebill。”
Sheseatedherself，staredatherplate。
“Nowwhatareyouthinkingabout？“heasked。
“Idon”tknowexactly。Nothingmuch。”
Thewaiterbroughtthebill。Theyoungmanmerelyglancedatthetotal，drewasmallrollofmoneyfromhistrouserspocket，putafive-dollarnoteonthetraywiththebill。Susan”seyesopenedwidewhenthewaiterreturnedwithonlytwoquartersandadime。Sheglancedfurtivelyattheyoungman，toseeifhe，too，wasnotdisconcerted。Hewavedthetraycarelesslyaside；thewaitersaid“Thankyou，“inamatter-of-courseway，droppedthesixtycentsintohispocket。Thewaiter”stipwasbyitselfalmostasmuchasshehadeverseenpaidoutforamealfortwopersons。
“Now，whereshallwego？“askedtheyoungman。
Susandidnotlifthereyes。Heleanedtowardher，tookherhand。“You”redifferentfromthesortafellowusuallyfinds，“
saidhe。“AndI”m——I”mcrazyaboutyou。Let”sgo，“saidhe。
Susantookherbundle，followedhim。Sheglancedupthestreetanddown。Shehadanimpulsetosayshemustgoawayalone；itwasnotstrongenoughtoframeasentence，muchlessexpressherthought。Shewasseeingqueer，vivid，apparentlydisconnectedvisions——Burlingham，sickuntodeath，onthestretcherinthehospitalreceptionroom——Blynnofthehideousfaceandloose，repulsivebody——thecontemptuousoldgentlemanintheshop——oddsandendsofthethingsMabelConnemorahadtoldher——therollofbillstheyoungmanhadtakenfromhispocketwhenhepaid——JebFergusonintheclimaxofthehorrorsofthatweddingdayandnight。TheywenttoGarfieldPlace，turnedwest，pausedafterablockorsoatalittleframehousesetsomewhatbackfromthestreet。Theyoungman，whohadbeenassilentasshe——butnervousinsteadofpreoccupied——openedthegateinthepicketfence。
“Thisisafirst-classquietplace，“saidhe，embarrassedbuttryingtoappearatease。
Susanhesitated。Shemustsomehownerveherselftospeakofmoney，tosaytohimthatsheneededtendollars——thatshemusthaveit。Ifshedidnotspeak——ifshegotnothingforMr。
Burlingham——oralmostnothing——andprobablymendidn”tgivewomenmuch——ifsheweregoingwithhim——toendureagainthehorrorsandthedegradationshehadsufferedfromMr。
Ferguson——ifitshouldbeinvain！Thisniceyoungmandidn”tsuggestMr。Fergusoninanyway。Buttherewassuchamysteryaboutmen——theyhadawayofchangingso——SamWright——UncleGeorgeevenMr。Fergusonhadn”tseemedcapableoftorturingahelplessgirlfornoreasonatall——
“Wecan”tstandhere，“theyoungmanwassaying。
Shetriedtospeakaboutthetendollars。Shesimplycouldnotforceoutthewords。Withbraininawhirl，withbloodbeatingsuffocatinglyintoherthroatandlungs，butgivingnooutwardsignofagitation，sheenteredthegate。Therewasalow，old-fashionedporchalongthesideofthehouse，withanawningcuriouslyplacedattheendtowardthestreet。Whentheyascendedthestepsundertheawning，theywerescreenedfromthestreet。Theyoungmanpulledaknob。Abellwithintinkledfaintly；Susanstarted，shivered。Buttheyoungman，lookingstraightatthedoor，didnotsee。Acoloredgirlwithapleasant，welcomingfaceopened，stoodasideforthemtoenter。
Hewentstraightupthestairsdirectlyahead，andSusanfollowed。Atthethresholdthetremblinggirllookedroundinterror。Sheexpectedtoseeaplacelikethatfoul，closelittlefarmbedroom——foritseemedtoherthatatsuchtimesmenmustseeksomedreadfulplace——vile，dim，fitting。Shewasinasmall，attractivelyfurnishedroom，withabowwindowlookingupontheyardandthestreet。Thefurnitureremindedherofherownroomatheruncle”sinSutherland，exceptthatthebrassbedwasfarfiner。Heclosedthedoorandlockedit。
Asheadvancedtowardherhesaid：“_What_areyouseeing？Pleasedon”tlooklikethat。”Persuasively，“Youweren”tthinkingofme——wereyou？“
“No——Oh，no，“repliedshe，passingherhandoverhereyestotrytodriveawaythevisionofFerguson。
“Youlookasifyouexpectedtobemurdered。Doyouwanttogo？“
Sheforcedherselftoseemcalm。“WhatacowardIam！“shesaidtoherself。“IfIcouldonlydieforhim，insteadofthis。ButIcan”t。AndI_must_getmoneyforhim。”
Totheyoungmanshesaid：“No。I——I——wanttostay。”
Lateintheafternoon，whentheywereoncemoreinthestreet，hesaid。“I”daskyoutogotodinnerwithme，butIhaven”tenoughmoney。”
Shestoppedshort。Anawfullookcameintoherface。
“Don”tbealarmed，“criedhe，hurriedandnervous，andblushingfuriously。“Iputthe——thepresentforyouinthatfunnylittlebundleofyours，underoneofthefoldsofthenightgownorwhateveritisyou”vegotwrappedontheoutside。Ididn”tliketohandittoyou。I”veafeelingsomehowthatyou”renotregularly——thatkind。”
“Wasit——tendollars？“shesaid，andforallhecouldseeshewasabsolutelycalm。
“Yes，“repliedhe，withalookofrelieffollowedbyasmileofamusedtenderness。
“Ican”tmakeyouout，“hewenton。“You”reaqueerone。You”vehadalookinyoureyesallafternoon——well，ifIhadn”tbeensureyouwereexperienced，you”dalmosthavefrightenedmeaway。”
“Yes，I”vehadexperience。The——theworst，“saidthegirl。
“You——youattractmeawfully；you”vegot——well，everythingthat”sniceaboutawoman——andatthesametime，there”ssomethinginyoureyes——Areyouveryfondofyourfriend？“
“He”sallI”vegotintheworld。”
“Isupposeit”shisbeingsickthatmakesyoulookandactsoqueer？“
“Idon”tknowwhat”sthematterwithme，“shesaidslowly。
“I——don”tknow。”
“Iwanttoseeyouagain——soon。What”syouraddress？“
“Ihaven”tany。I”vegottolookforaplacetolive。”
“Well，youcangivemetheplaceyoudidlive。I”llwriteyouthere，Lorna。Youdidn”taskmemynamewhenIaskedyouyours。
You”vehardlysaidanything。Areyoualwaysquietlikethis？“
“No——notalways。AtLeast，Ihaven”tbeen。”
“No。Youweren”t，partofthetimethisafternoon——attherestaurant。Tellme，whatareyouthinkingaboutallthetime？
You”reverysecretive。Whydon”tyoutellme？Don”tyouknowI
likeyou？“
“Idon”tknow，“saidthegirlinaslowdazedway。“I——don”t——know。”
“Iwouldn”ttakeyourtimefornothing，“hewenton，afterapause。“Myfatherdoesn”tgivememuchmoney，butIthinkI”llhavesomemoredayaftertomorrow。CanIseeyouthen？“
“Idon”tknow。”
Helaughed。“Yousaidthatbefore。Dayaftertomorrowafternoon——inthesameplace。Nomatterifit”sraining。I”llbetherefirst——atthree。Willyoucome？“
“IfIcan。”
Shemadeamovementtogo。Butstillhedetainedher。Hecoloredhighagain，inthestrugglebetweentheimpulsesofhisgenerousyouthandthefearofbeingabsurdwithagirlhehadpickedupinthestreet。Helookedathersearchingly，wistfully。“Iknowit”syourlife，but——Ihatetothinkofit，“hewenton。“You”refartoonice。Idon”tseehowyouhappenedtobein——inthisline。Still，whatelseisthereforagirl，whenshe”supagainstit？I”veoftenthoughtofthosethings——andIdon”tfeelaboutthemasmostpeopledo……I”mcuriousaboutyou。
You”llpardonme，won”tyou？I”mafraidI”llfallinlovewithyou，ifIseeyouoften。Youwon”tfailtocomedayaftertomorrow？“
“IfIcan。”
“Don”tyouwanttoseemeagain？“
Shedidnotspeakorlifthereyes。
“Youlikeme，don”tyou？“
Stillnoanswer。
“Youdon”twanttobequestioned？“
“No，“saidthegirl。
“Whereareyougoingnow？“
“Tothehospital。”
“MayIwalkuptherewithyou？IliveinClifton。Icangohomethatway。”
“I”dratheryoudidn”t。”
“Then——good-by——tilldayaftertomorrowatthree。”Heputouthishand；hehadtoreachforhersandtakeit。“You”renot——notangrywithme？“
“No。”
Hiseyeslingeredtenderlyuponher。“Youare_so_sweet！Youdon”tknowhowIwanttokissyou。Areyousorrytogo——sorrytoleaveme——justalittle？……Iforgot。Youdon”tliketobequestioned。Well，good-by，dear。”
“Good-by，“shesaid；andstillwithoutliftinghergazefromthegroundsheturnedaway，walkedslowlywestward。
Shehadnotreachedthenextstreettothenorthwhenshesuddenlyfeltthatifshedidnotsitshewoulddrop。Sheliftedhereyesforaninstanttoglancefurtivelyround。Shesawahousewithstonestepsleadinguptothefrontdoors；therewasa“forrent“signinoneoftheclose-shutteredparlorwindows。
Sheseatedherself，supportedtheupperpartofherwearybodybyrestingherelbowsonherknees。Herbundlehadrolledtothesidewalkatherfeet。Apassingmanpickeditup，handedittoher，withapolitebow。Shelookedathimvaguely，tookthebundleasifshewerenotsureitwashers。
“Heatbeentoomuchforyou，miss？“askedtheman。
Sheshookherhead。Helingered，talkingvolubly——abouttheweather——thenabouthowcoolitwasonthehilltops。“WemightgouptotheBellevue，“hefinallysuggested，“ifyou”venothingbettertodo。”
“No，thankyou，“shesaid。
“I”llgoanywhereyoulike。I”vegotalittlemoneythatIdon”tcaretokeep。”
Sheshookherhead。
“Idon”tmeananythingbad，“hehastenedtosuggest——becausethatwouldbringupthesubjectindiscussableform。
“Ican”tgowithyou，“saidthegirldrearily。“Don”tbotherme，please。”
“Oh——excuseme。”Andthemanwenton。
Susanturnedthebundleoverinherlap，thrustherfingersslowlyanddeliberatelyintothefoldofthesoiledblousewhichwasontheoutside。Shedrewoutthemoney。Atenandtwofives。
Enoughtokeephisroomatthehospitalfortwoweeks。No，forshemustlive，herself。Enoughtogivehimaroomoneweeklongerandtoenablehertolivetwoweeksatleast……Anddayaftertomorrow——more。Perhaps，soon——enoughtoseehimthroughthetyphoid。Sheputthemoneyinherbosom，roseandwentontowardthehospital。Shenolongerfeltweary，andthesensationofawoundthatmightacheifshewerenotsonumbpassedaway。
Aclerkshehadnotseenbeforewasatthebarrierdesk。“IcametoaskhowMr。Burlinghamis，“saidshe。
Theclerkyawned，drewalargebooktowardhim。
“Burlingham——B——Bu——Bur——”hesaidhalftohimself，turningovertheleaves。“Yes——hereheis。”Helookedather。“Youhisdaughter？“
“No，I”mafriend。”
“Oh——then——hediedatfiveo”clock——anhourago。”
Helookedup——sawhereyes——onlyhereyes。Theywereadeepvioletnow，large，shiningwithtragicsoftness——liketheeyesofanangelthathaslostitsbirthrightthroughnofaultofitsown。Heturnedhastilyaway，awed，terrified，ashamedofhimself。
CHAPTERXVIII
THEnextthingsheknew，shefeltherselfseizedstronglybythearm。Shegazedroundinadazedway。Shewasinthestreet——howshegotthereshehadnoidea。Thegriponherarm——itwastheyoungdoctor，Hamilton。“Icalledyoutwice，“explainedhe，“butyoudidn”thear。”
“Heisdead，“saidshe。
Hamiltonhadaclearviewofherfacenow。Therewasnotatraceofthechildleft。Hesawhereyes——quiet，lonely，violetstars。
“Youmustgoandrestquietly，“hesaidwithgentleness。“Youarewornout。”
Susantookfromherbosomthetwentydollars，handedittohim。
“Itbelongstohim，“saidshe。“Giveittothem，toburyhim。”
Andshestartedon。
“Whereareyougoing？“askedtheyoungman。
Susanstopped，lookedvaguelyathim。“Good-by，“shesaid。
“You”vebeenverykind。”
“You”vefoundaboardingplace？“
“Oh，I”mallright。”
“Youwanttoseehim？“
“No。Thenhe”llalwaysbealivetome。”
“Youhadbetterkeepthismoney。Thecitywilltakecareofthefuneral。”
“Itbelongtohim。Icouldn”tkeepitformyself。Imustbegoing。”
“Shan”tIseeyouagain？“
“I”llnottroubleyou。”
“Letmewalkwithyouasfarasyourplace。”
“I”mnotfeeling——justright。Ifyoudon”tmind——please——I”dratherbealone。”
“Idon”tmeantointrude，but——”
“I”mallright，“saidthegirl。“Don”tworryaboutme。”
“Butyouaretooyoung——”
“I”vebeenmarried……Thankyou，but——good-by。”
Hecouldthinkofnofurtherexcusefordetainingher。Hermannerdisquietedhim，yetitseemedcomposedandnatural。
Probablyshehadrunawayfromagoodhome，wasnowsoberedandchastened，waseagertoseparateherselffromthemessshehadgotintoandreturntoherownsortofpeople。Itstruckhimasheartlessthatsheshouldgoawayinthisfashion；butonsecondthought，hecouldnotassociateheartlessnesswithher。Also，hesawhowtheremightbesomethinginwhatshehadsaidaboutnotwishingtohavetothinkofherfriendasdead。Hestoodwatchingherstraightnarrowyoungfigureuntilitwaslosttoviewinthecrowdofpeoplegoinghomefromwork。
SusanwentdownElmStreettoGarfieldPlace，seatedherselfononeofthebenches。Shewaswithinsightoftheunobtrusivelittlehousewiththeawnings；butshedidnotrealizeit。Shehadnosenseofhersurroundings，ofthepassingoftime，feltnogrief，nosensationofanykind。Shesimplysat，herlittlebundleinherlap，herhandsfoldeduponit。
Amaninuniformpausedbeforeher。“Closing-uptime，“hesaid，sharplybutintheimpartialofficialway。“I”mgoingtolockthegates。”
Shelookedathim。
Inasofter，apologetictone，hesaid，“I”vegottolockthegates。That”sthelaw，miss。”
Shedidnotclearlyunderstand，butroseandwentoutintoRaceStreet。Shewalkedslowlyalong，notknowingorcaringwhere。
Shewalked——walked——walked。Sometimesherwaylaythroughcrowdedstreets，againthroughstreetsdeserted。Nowshewasstumblingovertheunevensidewalksofapoorquarter；againitwasthesmoothflagstonesoftheshoppingorwholesaledistricts。
Severaltimesshesawtheriverwithitsmultitudeofboatsgreatandsmall；severaltimesshecrossedthecanal。Twicesheturnedbackbecausethestreetwasmountingthehillsbehindthecity——thehillswiththecarsswiftlyascendinganddescendingtheinclinedplanes，andatthecrestsgaylylightedpavilionswherecrowdsweredrinkinganddancing。Occasionallysomemanspoketoher，butdesistedasshewalkedstraighton，apparentlynothearing。Sherestedfromtimetotime，onastooporonabarrelorboxleftoutbysomeshopkeeper，orleaningupontherailofacanalbridge。Shewaswalkingwithapurpose——totrytoscatterthedensefogthathadrolledinandenvelopedhermind，andthentotrytothink。
Shesat，orratherdropped，downfromsheerfatigue，inthatcoolhourwhichprecedesthedawn。Ithappenedtobethestepsofachurch。Shefellintoadoze，wasstartledbacktoconsciousnessbythedeepboomofthebellinthesteeple；itmadethestonevibrateunderher。One——two——three——four！Towardtheeastthereshoneaflushoflight，notyetstrongenoughtodimthestars。Theskyaboveherwasclear。Thepallofsmokerolledaway。Theairfeltcleanandfresh，evenhadinitareminiscenceofthegreenfieldswhenceithadcome。Shebegantorevive，likeasleepershakingoffdrowsinessandthespellofabaddreamandlookingforwardtothenewday。Thefogthathadswathedandstupefiedherbrainseemedtohavelifted。Atherhearttherewasnumbnessandadullthrobbing，anache；buthermindwasclearandherbodyfeltintensely，hopelesslyaliveandready，clamorouslyready，forfood。Amovementacrossthenarrowstreetattractedherattention。Acellardoorwasrising——thrustupwardbytheshouldersofaman。Itfellfullopenwitharesoundingcrash，themanrevealedbythelightfrombeneath——awhiteblouse，awhitecap。Towardherwaftedthedeliciousodorofbakingbread。Sherose，hesitatedonlyaninstant，crossedthestreetdirectlytowardthebakerwhohadcomeuptothesurfaceforcoolair。
“Iamhungry，“saidshetohim。“Can”tyouletmehavesomethingtoeat？“
Theman——hehadalarge，smooth，floridfaceeyedherinamusedastonishment。“Where”dyoujumpfrom？“hedemanded。
“Iwasrestingonthechurchstepsoverthere。Thesmellcametomeand——Icouldn”tstandit。Icanpay。”
“Oh，that”sallright，“saidtheman，withastrongGermanaccent。“Comedown。”Andhedescendedthesteps，shefollowing。
Itwasalargeandloftycellar，pavedwithcement；floor，ceilings，walls，werewhitenedwithflour。Therewerelongcleantablesforrollingthedough；bigwoodenbowls；fartherback，theovensandseveralbakersatworkaddingtothehugepilesofloavesthehugebasketsofrolls。Susan”seyesglistened；herwhiteteethshowedinadelightfulsmileofhungerabouttobesatisfied。
“Doyouwantbreadorrolls？“askedtheGerman。Thenwithoutwaitingforhertoanswer，“Iguesssomeofthe`sweetrolls”
wecall”em，wouldaboutsuitalady。”
“Yes——thesweetrolls，“saidthegirl。
Thebakerfumbledaboutbehindalotofemptybaskets，foundasewingbasket，filleditwithsmallrolls——somecrescentinshape，somelikeladyfingers，someoval，somealmostlikebiscuit，allwithpulverizedsugarpowderedonthemthickasafrosting。Hesetthelittlebasketuponanemptykneadingtable。
“Waityetaminute，“hecommanded，andbustledupaflightofstairs。Hereappearedwithabottleofmilkandapieceoffreshbutter。Heputthesebesidethebasketofrolls，drewastoolupbeforethem。“How”sthat？“askedhe，hishandsonhiships，hisheadononeside，andhisbigjollyfacebeaminguponher。
“Prettygood，don”tit！“
Susanwaslaughingwithpleasure。Hepointedtotheplacewelldowninthebottleofmilkwherethecreamended。“That”sthewayitshouldbealways——notso！“saidhe。Shenodded。Thenheshookthebottletoremixtheseparatedcreamandmilk。“So！“hecried。Then”_Ach，dummerEsel！_“hemuttered，strikinghisbrowaresoundingthwackwiththeflatofhishand。“Aknife！“
Andhehastenedtorepairthatomission。
Susansatatthetable，tookoneofthefreshrolls，spreadbutteruponit。Thedaywillnevercomeforherwhenshecannotdistinctlyrememberthefirstbiteofthelittlesweetbutteredroll，eateninthatairperfumedwiththearomaofbakingbread。
Themilkwasasfineasitpromisedtobeshedrankitfromthebottle。
TheGermanwatchedherawhile，thenbeckonedtohisfellowworkmen。Theystoodround，revelinginthejoyfulsightofthisprettyhungrygirleatingsohappilyandsoheartily。
“Thepie，“whisperedoneworkmantoanother。
Theybroughtasmallfreshlybakedpeachpie，lightandcrispandbrown。Susan”sbeautifuleyesdanced。“But，“shesaidtoherfirstfriendamongthebakers，“I”mafraidIcan”taffordit。”
Atthistherewasaloudchorusoflaughter。“Eatit，“saidherfriend。
Andwhenshehadfinishedherrollsandbutter，shedideatit。
“Inevertastedapielikethat，“declaredshe。“AndIlikepiesandcanmakethemtoo。”
Oncemoretheylaughed，asifshehadsaidthewittiestthingintheworld。
Asthelastmouthfulofthepiewasdisappearing，herfriendsaid，“Another！“
“Goodness，no！“criedthegirl。“Icouldn”teatabitemore。”
“Butit”sanapplepie。”Andhebroughtit，holdingitonhisbigfloridfathandandturningitroundtoshowheritsfullbeauty。
Shesighedregretfully。“Isimplycan”t，“shesaid。“HowmuchiswhatI”vehad？“
Herfriendfrowned。“Votyoutakemefor——hey？“demandedhe，withaterriblefrown——soterriblehefeltittobethat，fearinghehadfrightenedher，heburstoutlaughing，toreassure。
“Oh，butImustpay，“shepleaded。“Ididn”tcomebegging。”
“Notacent！“saidherfriendfirmly。“I”mtheboss。Iwon”ttakeit。”
Sheinsisteduntilshesawshewashurtinghisfeelings。Thenshetriedtothankhim；buthewouldnotlistentothat，either。
“Good-by——good-by，“hesaidgruffly。“Imustgettoworkonce。”
Butsheunderstood，andwentwithalightheartupintotheworldagain。Hestoodwaistdeepinthecellar，shehesitateduponthesidewalk。“Good-by，“shesaid，withswimmingeyes。
“Youdon”tknowhowgoodyou”vebeentome。”
“Allright。Luck！“Hewavedhishand，halfturnedhisbackonherandlookedintentlyupthestreet，hiseyesblinking。
Shewentdownthestreet，turnedthefirstcorner，droppedonadoorstepandsobbedandcried，outofthefullnessofherheart。
Whensherosetogoonagain，shefeltstrongerandgentlerthanshehadfeltsincehertroublesbeganwiththequarreloverSamWright。Alittlefurtheronshecameuponaflorist”sshopinfrontofwhichawagonwasunloadingthesupplyofflowersfortheday”strade。Shepausedtolookattherosesandcarnations，theliliesanddahlias，thevioletsandverbenasandgeraniums。
Thefastbrighteningairwasscentedwithdelicateodors。Shewasattractedtoasmallgeraniumwithmanybudsandtwofull-blowncrimsonflowers。
“Howmuchforthat？“sheaskedayoungmanwhoseemedtobeincharge。
Heeyedhershrewdly。“Well，Ireckonaboutfifteencents，“
repliedhe。
Shetookfromherbosomthedollarbillwrappedroundtheeightycents，gavehimwhathehadasked。“No，youneedn”ttieitup，“
saidshe，ashemovedtotakeitintothestore。Shewentbacktothebakeshop。Thecellardoorwasopen，butnoonewasinsight。Stoopingdown，shecalled：“Mr。Baker！Mr。Baker！“
Thebigsmoothfaceappearedbelow。
Shesettheplantdownonthetopstep。“Foryou，“shesaid，andhurriedaway。
Onapassingstreetcarshesawthesign“EdenPark。”Shehadheardofit——ofitsbeauties，ofthewonderfulmuseumthere。Shetookthenextcarofthesameline。Afewminutes，anditwasbeingdrawnuptheinclinedplanetowardtheloftyhilltops。Shehadthoughttheairpurebelow。Shewassuddenlyliftedthroughadensevapor——thecloudthatalwaysliesoverthelowerpartofthecity。Amoment，andshewasabovethecloud，wasbeingcarriedthroughthewide，cleantree-linedavenueofabeautifulsuburb。Oneitherside，lawnsandgardensandcharminghouses，ahushbroodingoverthem。Behindthesewalls，incomfortablebeds，amidthesurroundingsthatcometomindwiththeword“home，“laymanygirlssuchasshe——happy，secure，sheltered。
Girlslikeherself。Awaveofhomesicknesssweptoverher，dauntingherforalittlewhile。Butshefoughtitdown，watchedwhatwasgoingonaroundher。“Imustn”tlookback——Imustn”t！
Nothingthereforme。”Atthemaingatewayoftheparkshedescended。Thereindeedwasthe，toher，vastbuildingcontainingthetreasuresofart；butshehadnotcomeforthat。
Shestruckintothefirstby-path，soughtoutagrassyslopethicklystuddedwithbushes，andlaidherselfdown。Shespreadherskirtscarefullysoasnottomussthem。Sheputherbundleunderherhead。
Whensheawokethemoonwasshininguponherface——shiningfromastarrysky！
Shesatup，lookedroundinwonder。Yes——itwasnightagain——verystill，verybeautiful，andwarm，withtheairfragrantandsoft。Shefeltintenselyawake，entirelyrested——andfullofhope。Itwasasifduringthatlongdreamlesssleepherwholebeinghadbeenrenewedandmagicallyborneawayfromthelandsofshadowandpainwhereithadbeenwandering，toalandofbrightpromise。Oh，youth，youth，thatbearssolightlytheburdenofthepast，thatfacessoconfidentlythemysteryofthefuture！Shelistened——heardafaintsoundthatmovedhertoinvestigate。Peeringthroughthedensebushes，shediscoveredonthegrassintheshadowofthenextclump，aragged，dirtymanandwoman，bothsoundasleepandsnoringgently。Shewatchedthemspellbound。Theman”sfacewasdeeplyshadedbyhisbatteredstrawhat。Butshecouldseethewoman”sfaceplainly——thethin，whitehair，thesunkeneyesandmouth，theskeletonlookofoldfeaturesoverwhichthedryskinofageistightlydrawn。Shegazeduntiltheman，movinginhissleep，kickedoutfuriouslyandutteredacurse。Shedrewback，crawledawayuntilshehadputseveralclumpsofbushesbetweenherandthepair。Thenshespeddownanduptheslopesanddidnotstopuntilshewaswhereshecouldsee，farbelow，thefriendlylightsofthecityblinkingatherthroughthesmokymist。
Shehadforgottenherbundle！Shedidnotknowhowtofindtheplacewhereshehadleftit；and，hadsheknown，shewouldnothavedaredreturn。Thisloss，however，troubledherlittle。NotinvainhadshedweltwiththephilosopherBurlingham。
Sheseatedherselfonabenchandmadeherselfcomfortable。Butshenolongerneededsleep。Shewasawake——wideawake——ineveryatomofhervigorousyoungbody。Theminutesdragged。Shewasimpatientforthedawntogivethesignalforthefuturetorollupitscurtain。Shewouldhavegonedownintothecitytowalkaboutbutshewasnowafraidthepolicewouldtakeherin——andthatprobablywouldmeangoingtoareformatory，forshecouldnotgiveasatisfactoryaccountofherself。True，herolderwayofwearingherhairandsomeslightbuttellingchangesinherdresshadmadeherlooklessthechild。Butshecouldnothopetopassforawomanfullgrown。Themoonset；thestarlightwasafteralong，longtimesucceededbythedawnofwakingbirds，andofwakingcity，too——forupfrombelowroseaneverlouderroarlikearisingstorm。Inherrestlessrovings，shecameuponafountain；shejoinedthebirdsmakingatoiletinitsbasin，andpatternedafterthem——washedherfaceandhands，driedthemonahandkerchiefshebygreatgoodluckhadputintoherstocking，smoothedherhair，herdress。
Andstillthesenseofunrealitypersisted，castitsfriendlyspelloverthischild-womansuddenlycaughtupfromthequietestofquietlivesandwhirledintoadizzyvortexofstrangeeventswithoutparallel，orsimilitudeeven，inanythingshehadeverknown。Ifanyonehadsuddenlyaskedherwhoshewasandshehadtriedtorecall，shewouldhavefeltasiftryingtorememberadream。Sutherland——afaint，faintdream，andtheshowboatalso。
Spenser——aromanticdream——orafirstinstallmentofalovestoryreadinsomestraymagazine。Burlingham——thetheatricalagent——theyoungmanofthepreviousafternoon——thenewsofthedeaththatleftherquitealone——alladream，atumbled，jumbleddream，allpassedwiththenightandtheawakening。Inheryouthandperfecthealth，refreshedbythelongsleep，gladdenedbythebrightnewday，shewasasirresponsibleasthemerrybirdschatteringandflingingthewateraboutattheoppositesideofthefountain”sbasin。Shewasnowgladshehadlostherbundle。
Withoutitherhandswerefreebothhandsfreetotakewhatevermightoffernext。Andshewaseagertoseewhatthatwouldbe，andhopefulaboutit——no——morethanhopeful，confident。
Burlingham，aidedbythosehighlyfavorablesurroundingsoftheshowboat，andofthevagabondlifethereafter，haddevelopedinherthatgambler”sspiritwhichhadenabledhimtoplayyearafteryearoflosinghandswithunabatingcourage——thespiritthatanimatesallthebravesoulswhosedeedsawethedocile，conventional，cravenmassesofmankind。
Leisurelyasatruantshetrampedbacktowardthecity，pausingtoobserveanythingthatchancedtocatchhereye。Atthemomentofherdiscoveryofthedifferencebetweenherandmostgirlstherehadbegunacleavagebetweenherandthesocialsystem。
Andnowshefeltasifshewereofoneraceandtherestoftheworldofanotherandhostilerace。Shedidnotrealizeit，butshehadtakenthefirstgreatstepalongthepaththatleadstodistinctionordestruction。Fortheworldeitherobeysortramplesintodustthosewho，inwhateverway，havealotapartfromthecommon。Shewasfreefromthebondsofconvention——freetosoarortosink。
Herwaytowardthecitylayalongaslowlydescendingstreetthathadbeen，notsoverylongbefore，acountryroad。Blockafterblockthereweregrassyfieldsintersectedbystreets，asifcityhadattemptedaconquestofcountryandhadabandonedit。Againthevacantlotsweredisfiguredwiththeruinsofashantyorbydrearydumpheaps。Forlongstretchesthewaywasbuiltuponlyononeside。Thehouseswereforthemostparttenementwithsmallandunprosperousshopsorsaloonsonthegroundfloor。Towardthefootofthehill，wherethelineoftenementswascontinuousoneitherside，shesawasign“Restaurant“projectingoverthesidewalk。Whenshereachedit，shepausedandlookedin。Anarrowwindowandanarrowopendoorgaveafullviewofthetinyroomwithitstworowsofplaintables。Nearthewindowwasasmallcounterwithacasecontainingcakesandpiesandrolls。Withbacktothewindowsataprettytowheadedgirlofaboutherownage，reading。Susan，closetothewindow，sawthatthebookwasOwenMeredith”s“Lucile，“oneofherownfavorites。Shecouldevenreadthewords：
Thewaystheyaremanyandwide，andseldomaretwowaysthesame。
Sheentered。Thegirlglancedup，witheyesslowlychangingfromfar-awaydreaminesstopresentandpractical——pleasantblueeyeswithlashesandbrowsofthesamecolorasthethick，neatlydoneyellowishhair。
“CouldIgetaglassofmilkandaroll？“askedSusan，amodestdemand，indeed，onbehalfofagrowinggirl”sappetitetwenty-fourhoursunsatisfied。
Theblondegirlsmiled，showingacleanmouthwithexcellentteeth。
“Wesellthemilkforfivecents，therollsthreeforanickel。”
“ThenI”lltakemilkandthreerolls，“saidSusan。“MayIsitatatable？I”llnotspoilit。”
“Sure。Sitdown。That”swhatthetablesarefor。”Andthegirlclosedthebook，puttingachromocardinittomarkherplace，andstirredabouttoservethecustomer。Susantookthetablenearestthedoor，tooktheseatfacingthelight。Thegirlsetbeforeheraplate，aknifeandfork，alittleformofbutter，atallglassofmilk，andthreesmallrollsinalargesaucer。
“You”reupandoutearly？“shesaidtoSusan。
OnoneofthoseinexplicableimpulsesoffranknessSusanreplied：“I”vebeensleepinginthepark。”
Thegirlhadmadetheremarkmerelytobepoliteandwasturningaway。AsSusan”sreplypenetratedtoherinattentivemindshelookedsharplyather，eyesopeningwonderingly。“Didyougetlost？Areyouastrangerintown？Whydidn”tyouasksomeonetotakeyouin？“
Thegirlreflected，realized。“That”sso，“saidshe。“Ineverthoughtofitbefore……Yes，thatisso！Itmustbedreadfulnottohaveanyplacetogo。”ShegazedatSusanwithadmiringeyes。“Weren”tyouafraid——upinthepark？“
“No，“repliedSusan。“Ihadn”tanythinganybody”dwanttosteal。”
“Butsomemanmighthave——”ThegirlleftittoSusan”simaginationtofinishthesentence。
“Ihadn”tanythingtosteal，“repeatedSusan，withakindofcynicalmelancholyremotelysuggestiveofMabelConnemora。
Therestaurantgirlretiredbehindthecountertoreflect，whileSusanbeganuponhermeagerbreakfastwiththedeliberationofonewhomustcoaxalittletogoagreatways。Presentlythegirlsaid：
“Whereareyougoingtosleeptonight？“
“Oh，that”salongwaysoff，“repliedtheaptpupilofthehappy-go-luckyhouseboatshow。“I”llfindaplace，Iguess。”
Thegirllookedthoughtfullytowardthestreet。“Iwaswondering，“shesaidafterawhile，“whatI”ddoifIwastofindmyselfoutinthestreet，withnomoneyandnowheretogo……
Areyoulookingforsomethingtodo？“
“Doyouknowofanything？“askedSusaninterestedatonce。
“Nothingworthwhile。There”saboxfactorydownonthenextsquare。Butonlyagirlthatlivesathomecanworkthere。Pasaystheday”scomingwhenwomen”llbelikemen——workateverythingandgetthesamewages。Butitisn”tsonow。Agirl”sgottogetmarried。”
SuchastrangeexpressioncameoverSusan”sfacethatthewaitresslookedapologeticandhastenedtoexplainherself：“I
don”tmuchmindtheideaofgettingmarried，“saidshe。
“Only——I”mafraidIcannevergetthekindofamanI”dwant。
Theboysroundhereleaveschoolbeforethegirls，sothegirlsarebettereducated。Andthentheyfeelabovetheboysoftheirownclass——exceptthoseboysthat”rebeginningtogetupintheworld——andthosekindofboyswantsomegirlwho”sabovethemandcanhelpthemup。It”sdreadfultobeabovethepeopleyouknowandnotgoodenoughforthepeopleyou”dliketoknow。”
Susanwasnotimpressed；shecouldnotunderstandwhythewaitressspokewithsomuchfeeling。“Well，“saidshe，pausingbeforebeginningonthelastroll，“Idon”tcaresolongasI
findsomethingtodo。”
“There”sanotherthing，“complainedthewaitress。“Ifyouworkinastore，youcan”tgetwagesenoughtoliveon；andyoulearnthings，andwanttolivebetterandbetterallthetime。Itmakesyoumiserable。Andyoucan”tmarrythemenwhoworkatnicerefinedlaborbecausetheydon”tmakeenoughtomarryon。
Andifyouworkinafactoryorasaservant，whyallbutthecommonestkindofmenlookdownonyou。Youmaygetwagesenoughtoliveon，butyoucan”tmarryorgetupintheworld。”
“You”reveryambitious，aren”tyou？“
“IndeedIam。Idon”twanttobeintheworkingclass。”Shewasleaningoverthecounternow，andherblondfacewasexpressingdeepdiscontentandscorn。“I_hate_workingpeople。Allofthemwhohaveanysenselookdownonthemselvesandwishtheycouldgetsomethingrespectabletodo。”
“Oh，youdon”tmeanthat，“protestedSusan。“Anykindofwork”srespectableifit”shonest。”
“_You_cansaythat，“retortedthegirl。“_You_don”tbelonginourclass。Youwerebroughtupdifferent。Youarea_lady_。”
Susanshrankandgrewcrimson。Theothergirldidnotsee。Shewentoncrossly：
“Upper-classpeoplealwaystalkabouthowfineitistobeanhonestworkingman。Butthat”sallrot。Let”emtryitawhile。
Andpasaysit”llneverbestraightenedouttilleverybodyhastowork。”
“What——whatdoesyourfatherdo？“
“Hewasacabinetmaker。Thenoneoftheothermentippedoverabigchestandhisrighthandwascrushed——smashedtopieces，sohewasn”tabletoworkanymore。Buthe”smightysmartinhisbrains。It”sthekindyoucan”tmakeanymoneyoutof。Hehasreadmosteverything。Thetroublewithpawashehadtoomuchheart。Hewasn”tmeanenoughtotryandgetaheadoftheotherworkmen，andrisetobeabossoverthem，andgrindthemdowntomakemoneyfortheproprietor。Sohestayedonatthebench——hewasafirst-classcabinetmaker。Thebetteramanisasaworkman，andthenicerheisasaman，theharderitisforhimtogetup。Pawastoogoodathistrade——andtoosoft-hearted。
Won”tyouhaveanotherglassofmilk？“
“No——thankyou，“saidSusan。Shewasstillhungry，butitalarmedhertothinkoftakingmorethantencentsfromherhoard。
“Areyougoingtoaskforworkattheboxfactory？“
“I”mafraidtheywouldn”ttakeme。Idon”tknowhowtomakeboxes。”
“Oh，that”snothing，“assuredtherestaurantgirl。
“It”stheeasiestkindofwork。Butthenaneducatedpersoncanpickupmostanytradeinafewdays，wellenoughtogetalong。
They”llmakeyouapaster，atfirst。”
“Howmuchdoesthatpay？“
“He”llofferyoutwofiftyaweek，butyoumustmakehimgiveyouthree。That”srightforbeginners。Then，ifyoustayonandworkhard，you”llberaisedtofouraftersixmonths。Thehighestpay”sfive。”
“Threedollars，“saidSusan。“HowmuchcanIrentaroomfor？“
Therestaurantgirllookedatherpityingly。“Oh，youcan”taffordaroom。You”llhavetoclubinwiththreeothergirlsandtakearoomtogether，andcookyourmealsyourselves，turnabout。”
Susantriednottoshowhowgloomythisprospectseemed。“I”lltry，“saidshe。
Shepaidthetencents；hernewacquaintancewentwithhertothedoor，pointedoutthehugebarewoodenbuildingdisplayingingreatletters“J。C。Matson，PaperBoxes。”“Youapplyattheoffice，“saidthewaitress。“There”llbeafatblack-complectedmaninhisshirtwithhissuspendersletdownoffhisshoulders。
He”llbefreshwithyou。Heusedtobeaworkingmanhimself，sohehasn”tanyrespectforworkingpeople。Buthedoesn”tmeananyharm。Heisn”tlikeagoodmany；heletshisgirlsalone。”
Susanhadnotgotfarwhenthewaitresscamerunningafterher。
“Won”tyoucomebackandletmeknowhowyoumadeout？“sheasked，alittleembarrassed。“Ihopeyoudon”tthinkI”mfresh。”
“I”llbegladtocome，“Susanassuredher。Andtheireyesmetinafriendlyglance。
“Ifyoudon”tfindaplacetogo，whynotcomeinwithme？I”vegotonlyaverylittlebitofaroom，butit”sasbigandalotcleanerthananyyou”llfindwiththefactorygirls。”
“ButIhaven”tanymoney，“saidSusanregretfully。“AndI
couldn”ttakeanythingwithoutpaying。”
“Youcouldpaytwodollarsandahalfaweekandeatinwithus。
Wecouldn”taffordtogiveyoumuchforthat，butit”dbebetterthanwhatyou”dgettheotherway。”
“Butyoucan”taffordtodothat。”
Therestaurantgirl”smindwasaroused，wasworkingfastandwell。“Youcanhelpintherestaurantofevenings，“shepromptlyreplied。“I”lltellmayou”resoprettyyou”lldrawtrade。AndI”llexplainthatyouusedtogotoschoolwithme——andhavelostyourfatherandmother。Myname”sEttaBrashear。”
“Mine”s——LornaSackville，“saidSusan，blushing。“I”llcomeafterawhile，andwe”lltalkaboutwhattodo。Imaynotgetaplace。”
“Oh，you”llgetit。Hehashardworkfindinggirls。Factoriesusuallypaymorethanstores，becausethework”smorelookeddownon——thoughLordknowsit”shardtothinkhowanythingcouldbemorelookeddownonthanasaleslady。”
“Idon”tseewhyyoubotheraboutthosethings。Whatdotheymatter？“
“Why，everybodybothersaboutthem。Butyoudon”tunderstand。
Youwerebornalady，andyou”llalwaysfeelyou”vegotsocialstanding，andpeople”llfeelthatwaytoo。”
“ButIwasn”t，“saidSusanearnestly。“Indeed，Iwasn”t。Iwasborn——a——anobody。Ican”ttellyou，butI”mjustnobody。I
haven”tevengotaname。”
Etta，asromanticasthenextyounggirl，wasonlythemorefascinatedbythenowthrillinglymysteriousstranger——sopretty，sosweet，withsuchbeautifulmannersandstrangelyoutcastnodoubtfromsomefamilyof“highfolks。”“You”llbesuretocome？Youwon”tdisappointme？“
SusankissedEtta。EttaembracedSusan，hercheeksflushed，hereyesbrilliant。“`I”vetakenanawfulfancytoyou，“shesaid。
“Ihaven”teverhadanintimateladyfriend。Idon”tcareforthegirlsroundhere。They”resofreshandcommon。Mabroughtmeuprefined；she”snotliketheordinaryworking-classwoman。”
IthurtSusandeeply——why，shecouldnothavequiteexplained——tohearEttatalkinthisfashion。Andinspiteofherselfhertonewaslessfriendlyasshesaid，“I”llcomewhenIfindout。”
CHAPTERXIX
INtheofficeofthefactorySusanfoundthemanEttadescribed。
Hewasseated，or，rather，wassprawledbeforeanopenandoverflowingrolltopdesk，hiscollarandcuffsoff，andhiscoatandwaistcoatalso。Hisfeet——broad，thickfeetwithknotsatthegreattoejointsbulginghisshoes——werehoistedupontheleafofthedesk。Susan”scharmsofpersonandmannerssowroughtuponhimthat，duringtheexchangeofpreliminaryquestionsandanswers，heslowlytookdownfirstonefootthentheother，andreadjustedhisoncemuscularbutnowlooseandpudgybodyintoalessloaferishposture。Hewasasunconsciousassheofthecauseandmeaningofthesemovements。Hadheawakenedtowhathewasdoinghewouldprobablyhavebeenangeredagainsthimselfandagainsther；andthedirectionofSusanLenox”slifewouldcertainlyhavebeenchanged。Thosewhofancythehumananimalisinthecustodyofsomeconsciousandpredeterminingdestinythinkwiththeirvanityratherthanwiththeirintelligence。Acarefullookatanydayorevenhourofanyliferevealstheinevitableinfluenceofsheeraccidents，mostofthemtrivial。Andtheseaccidents，oftenthemosttrivial，mostpowerfullydeterminenotonlythedirectionbutalsothedegreeandkindofforce——whatcharacteristicsshalldevelopandwhatshalldwindle。
“Youseemtohaveanutonyou，“saidtheboxmanufacturerattheendoftheexamination。“I”llstartyouatthree。”
Susan，thussuddenly“placed“intheworldandticketedwitharealvalue，wassoprofoundlyexcitedthatshecouldnotevenmakeastammeringattemptatexpressinggratitude。
“Doyourworkwell，“continuedMatson，“andyou”llhaveagoodsteadyjobwithmetillyougetsomeniceyoungfellowtosupportyou。Standtheboysoff。Don”tlet”emtouchyoutillyou”reengaged——andnotmuchthentillthepreacher”ssaidtheword。”
“Thankyou，“saidSusan，tryingtolookgrave。Shewasfascinatedbyhiscurioushabitofscratchinghimselfashetalked——head，ribs，arm，legs，thebacksofhisredhairyhands。
“Stand”emoff，“pursuedthebox-maker，scratchinghisribsandnoddinghishugeheadvigorously。“That”sthewaymywifegotme。It”spullDickpulldevilwiththegalsandtheboys。Andthegalthat”sstiffwiththemengetsahome，whileherthatain”tgoestothestreets。Ialwaysgivesmygalsawordofgoodadvice。AndmanyaoneI”vesaved。There”smightyfewpreachersdoesasmuchgoodasme。Whencanyougotowork？“
Susanreflected。Withheightenedcolorandaslightstammershesaid，“I”vegotsomethingtodothisafternoon，ifyou”llletme。CanIcomeinthemorning？“
“Sevensharp。Wetakeoffacentaminuteuptoaquarterofanhour。Ifyou”relaterthanthat，yougetdockedfortheday。Andnoexcuses。Ididn”tclimbtothetopfromspittooncleanerinasaloonfifteenyearsagobybeinganeasymarkformyhands。”
“I”llcomeatseveninthemorning，“saidSusan。
“Doyoulivefar？“
“I”mgoingtolivejustupthestreet。”
“That”sright。Itaddstencentsadaytoyourwages——thetenyou”llsaveincarfare。Sixtycentsaweek！“AndMatsonbeamedandscratchedasifhefelthehaddoneagenerousact。“Whoareyoulivin”with？Respectable，Ihope。”
“WithMissBrashear——Ithink。”
“Oh，yes——TomBrashear”sgal。They”renicepeople。Tom”sanhonestfellow——usedtomakegoodmoneytillhehadhishardluck。Himandmeusedtoworktogether。Buthenevercouldseemtolearnthatitain”tworkin”foryourselfbutmakin”othersworkforyouthatclimbsamanup。Ineverwasmuchasaworker。
Iwasalwaysthinkin”outwaysofmakin”peopleworkforme。AndhereIamatthetop。Andwhere”sTom？Well——runalongnow——what”syourname？“
“LornaSackville。”
“Lorny。”Heburstintoaloudguffaw。“Lord，whataname！Soundslikeatheayter。Sevensharp，Lorny。Solong。”
Susannoddedwithlaughingeyes，thankedhimanddeparted。Sheglancedupthestreet，sawEttastandinginthedooroftherestaurant。Ettadidnotmovefromherowndoorway，thoughshewasshowingeverysignofanxietyandimpatience。“Ican”tleaveevenforaminutesonearthedinnerhour，“sheexplainedwhenSusancame，“orI”d，a”beenoutsidethefactory。Andma”sgottosticktothekitchen。Iseeyougotajob。Howmuch？“
“Three，“repliedSusan。
“Hemusthaveofferedittoyou，“saidEtta，laughing。“I
thoughtaboutitafteryouweregoneandIknewyou”dtakewhateverhesaidfirst。Oh，I”vebeensoscaredsomething”dhappen。Idowantyouasmyladyfriend。Washefresh？“
“Notabit。Hewas——verynice。”
“Well，heoughttobenice——aspasays，gettingricherandricher，anddrivingthegirlsherobstomarrymentheyhateortopickupalivinginthegutter。”
Susanfeltthatsheowedherbenefactorastrongprotest。“MaybeI”mfoolish，“saidshe，“butI”mawfulgladhe”sgotthatplaceandcangivemework。”
Ettawasneitherconvincednorabashed。“Youdon”tunderstandthingsinourclass，“repliedshe。“Pasaysitwasthekindofgratefulthinkingandtalkingyou”vejustdonethat”smadehimpoorinhisoldage。Hesaysyou”veeithergottowhiporbewhipped，roborberobbed——andthatthereallygoodhonestpeoplearethefoolswhotakethelosingside。Buthesays，too，he”dratherbeafoolandafailurethanstooptostampingonhisfellow-beingsandrobbingthem。AndIguesshe”sright“——thereEttalaughed”thoughI”lladmitI”dhatetobetemptedwithachancetogetupbysteppingonsomebody。”Shesighed。“AndsometimesIcan”thelpwishingpahaddonesometrampingandstamping。Whynot？That”sallmostpeoplearefitfor——tobetrampedandstampedon。Now，don”tlooksoshocked。
Youdon”tunderstand。Waittillyou”vebeenatworkawhile。”
Susanchangedthesubject。“I”mgoingtoworkatseveninthemorning……Imightaswellhavegonetoday。IhadakindofanengagementIthoughtIwasgoingtokeep，butI”veaboutdecidedIwon”t。”
EttawatchedwithaweanddelightthemysteriouslookinSusan”ssuddenlyflushedfaceandabstractedeyes。Afteratimesheventuredtointerruptwith：
“You”lltrylivingwithus？“
“Ifyou”requitesure——didyoutalktoyourmother？“
“Mother”llbecrazyaboutyou。Shewantsanythingthat”llmakememorecontented。Oh，Idogetsolonesome！“
Mrs。Brashear，asparewoman，muchbentbymonotonouswork——which，however，hadnotbenthercourageorhercheerfulness——madeSusanfeelathomeimmediatelyinthelittleflat。Thetenementwasofratherasuperiorclass。ButtoSusanitseemedfullofnoisomesmells，andshewasoffendedbythehallslitteredwithevidencesoftheuncleannessofthetenants。
Shedidnotthenrealizethattheapparentsuperiorcleannessandneatnessofthebetter-offclasseswasreallyinlargepartonlyaffected，thattheirsecludedbackdoorsandbackwaysgavethemopportunitytohidetheiruncivilizedhabitsfromtheworldthatsawonlythefront。However，onceinsidetheBrashearflat，shehadaninstantriseofspirits。
“Isn”tthisnice？“exclaimedsheasEttashowedher，ataglancefromthesitting-room，thefivesmallbutscrupulouslycleanrooms。“I”lllikeithere！“
Ettareddened，glancedatherforsignsofmockery，sawthatshewasinearnest。“I”mafraidit”sbettertolookatthantolivein，“shebegan，thendecidedagainstsayinganythingdiscouraging。
“Itseemscrampedtous，“saidshe，“afterthehousewehadtillacoupleofyearsago。Iguesswe”llmakeout，somehow。”
Thefamilypaidtwentydollarsamonthfortheflat。Therestaurantearnedtwelvetofifteenaweek；andtheson，Ashbel，stocky，powerfulandstupid，hadasteadyjobasporterattenaweek。Hegavehismotherseven，ashehadaroomtohimselfandanenormousappetite。Hetalkedofgettingmarried；ifhedidmarry，thefamilyfinanceswouldbeindisorder。Buthisgirlhadhighideas，beingthedaughterofagrocerwhofanciedhimselfstillanindependentmerchantthoughhewasinfacttheevenmorepoorlypaidsellingagentofthevariousfoodproductstrusts。Shehadfixedtwentyaweekastheleastonwhichshewouldmarry；hisprospectsofanysuchraisewere——luckilyforhisfamily——extremelyremote；forhehadnothingbutphysicalstrengthtosell，andthepriceofphysicalstrengthalonewasgoingdown，underimmigrantcompetition，notonlyinactualwageslikeanyotherformofwagelabor，butalsoinnominalwages。
Altogether，theBrashearswereinexcellentshapeforatenementfamily，werebetteroffthanupwardsofninetypercentofthefamiliesofprosperousandtypicalCincinnati。WhileitwastruethatoldTomBrasheardrank，itwasalsotruethathecarefullylimitedhimselftotwodollarsaweek。Whileitwastruethathecouldnotworkathistradeandapparentlydidlittlebutsitroundandtalk——usuallyhighabovehisaudience——neverthelesshewastheactualheadofthefamilyanditschiefbread-winner。Itwashissavingsthatwereinvestedintherestaurant；heboughtthesuppliesandwasshrewdandintelligentaboutthatvitallyimportantdepartmentofthebusiness——thedepartmentwhosemismanagementindomesticeconomyis，nexttodrink，themaincauseoffailureandpauperism，ofsickness，ofprematuredisability，ofthoseprofounddiscouragementsthatleadtodespair。Also，oldBrashearhadthesagacityandthenagginghabitthatarenecessarytokeepingpeopleandthingsuptothemark。Hehadideas——practicalideasaswellasideals——farabovehisstation。Butforhimthehousekeepingwouldhavebeeninthefamiliartenementfashionofslovenlinessandfilth，andthefamilywouldhavebeenneatonlyonSundays，andonlyonthesurfacethen。Becausehehadthehabitofspeakingofhimselfasuseless，asdonefor，asadrag，asonelingeringonwhenheoughttobedead，hisfamilyandalltheneighborhoodthoughtofhiminthatway。Althoughintelligence，indeed，virtueofeverykind，isexpectedoftenementhousepeople——andisneededbythembeyondanyotherconditionofhumanity——theyareunfortunatelymerelyhuman，aretaintedofallhumanweaknesses。
Theylack，forinstance，discrimination。So，itneveroccurredtothemthatTomBrashearwasthesolereasonwhytheBrashearslivedbetterthananyoftheotherfamiliesandyieldedlesstotheferociousandincessantdownwardpressure。
ButforonethingtheBrashearswouldhavebeengoingupintheworld。ThatthingwasoldTom”shonesty。Therestaurantgavegoodfoodandhonestmeasure。Therefore，themarginofprofitwasnarrow——toonarrow。Heknewwhatwasthematter。Hemockedathimselfforbeing“suchaweakfool“wheneverybodyelsewiththeopportunityandtheintelligencewasgettingonbyyieldingtothecompulsionoftheironruleofdishonestyinbusiness。
Butheremainedhonest——therefore，remainedintheworkingclass，insteadofrisingamongitsexploiters。
“IfIdidn”tdrink，I”dkillmyself，“saidoldTomtoSusan，whenhecametoknowherwellandtofeelthatfromherhecouldgetnotthemereblindadmirationthefamilygavehimbutunderstandingandsympathy。“Wheneveranybodyintheworkingclasshasanyimagination，“heexplained，“heeitherkickshiswayoutofitintocapitalistorintocriminal——orelsehetakestodrink。Iain”tmeanenoughtobeeitheracapitalistoracriminal。So，I”vegottodrink。”
Susanonlytoosoonbegantoappreciatefromherownexperiencewhathemeant。
Inthefirstfewdaysthenoveltypleasedher，madeherthinkshewasgoingtobecontented。Thenewfriendsandacquaintances，differentfromanyshehadknown，thenewsights，thenewwayofliving——allthisinterestedher，evenwhenitshockedoneormanyofhersensesandsensibilities。Butthenoveltyoffoldingandpastingboxes，ofthequeernewkindofgirlswhoworkedwithher，hardlysurvivedintothesecondweek。
Shesawthatshewasamongapeoplewherethehighestknownstandard——themodeofliferegardedbythemastheacmeofeleganceandbliss——thebesttheycouldconceivewasfar，farbelowwhatshehadbeenbroughtuptobelievethescantestnecessitiesofrespectableandcivilizedliving。Shesawthislifefromtheinsidenow——asthecomfortableclassesneverpermitthemselvestoseeitiftheycanavoid。Shesawthattobeacontentedworkinggirl，tolookforwardtotheprospectofbeingaworkingman”swife，atenementhousekeeperandmother，awomanmusthavebeenborntoit——andbornwithlittlebrains——musthavebeeneducatedforit，andfornothingelse。Ettawasbitterlydiscontented；yetafterallitwasavagueendurablediscontent。Shehadsimplyheardofanddreamedofandfromafaroff——chieflythroughnovelsandpoemsandthetheater——hadglimpsedalifethatwasbroader，thathadcomfortandluxury，peoplewithrefinedhabitsandmanners。Susanhadnotmerelyheardofsuchalife；shehadlivedit——it，andnoother。
Alwaysofthethoughtfultemperament，shehadbeenrapidlydevelopedfirstbyBurlinghamandnowbyTomBrashear——hadbeentaughtnotonlyhowtothinkbutalsohowtogatherthethingstothinkabout。
Withafewexceptionsthegirlsatthefactorywerewoefullyuncleanabouttheirpersons。Susandidnotblamethem；sheonlywonderedatEttathemore，andgrewtoadmireher——andthefatherwhoheldthewholefamilyuptothemark。For，inspiteofthedifficultiesofgettingclean，withoutbathtub，withoutanybutthecrudestandcheapestappliancesforcleanliness，withoutanyleisuretime，Ettakeptherselfinperfectorder。
TheshowboatandthequartersatthehotelhadbeentryingtoSusan。Buttheyhadseemedanadventure，atemporary，passingphase，asortofsomewhatprolongedcamping-outlark。Now，shewassettleddown，tolive，apparentlyfortherestofherlife，withnoneofthecomforts，withfewofthedecencies。WhatEttaandherpeople，usingalltheirimagination，wouldhavepicturedasthepinnacleofluxurywouldhavebeenforSusanasmallandimperfectpartofwhatshehadbeenbredtoregardas“livingdecently。”ShesuspectedthatbutforEtta”sexampleshewouldbeyielding，atleastinthematterofcleanliness，whenthestruggleagainstdirtwassounequal，wasthankless。
Discouragementbecameherfrequentmood；shewonderedifthetimewouldnotcomewhenitwouldbeherfixedhabit，asitwaswithallbutahandfulofthoseabouther。
SometimessheandEttawalkedinthequarteratthetopofthehillwherelivedthefamiliesofprosperousmerchants——establishmentsalittlelarger，alittlemorepretentiousthanherUncleGeorge”sinSutherland，butonthewholemuchlikeit——thehousesofthesolidmiddleclasswhichfanciesitselfgrandlyluxuriouswhereitisinfactmerelycomfortableinacrudeunimaginativeway。Susanwasoneofthosewhoarebornwiththeinstinctandmentalbentforluxuriouscomfort；also，shehadtheaccompanyingpeculiartalentforassimilatingideasaboutfoodanddressandsurroundingsfrombooksandmagazines，fromthestudyofwell-dressedpeopleinthestreet，fromglancesintoluxuriousinteriorsthroughwindowsoropendoorsasshepassedby。Shesawwithevenquickerandmoreintelligentlycriticaleyesthenewthing，thegoodidea，theimprovementonwhatshealreadyknew。Etta”sexcitementoverthesecommonplacerichpeopleamusedher。Sheherself，onthewingsofherdaringyoungfancy，couldsoarintoarealmofluxury，ofbeautyandexquisitecomfort，thatmadetheseself-complacentmansionsseemveryordinaryindeed。Itwasnodraguponherfancy，butthereverse，thatshewassharinganarrowbedandanarrowroominahumbleandtinytenementflat。
OnoneofthesewalksEttaconfidedtohertheonlyromanceofherlifethereforetherealcauseofherdeepdiscontent。Itwasayoungmanfromoneofthesehouses——aflirtationlastingaboutayear。SheassuredSusanitwasaltogetherinnocent。
Susan——perhapschieflybecauseEttaprotestedsoinsistentlyaboutherunsulliedpurity——hadherdoubts。
“Then，“saidEtta，“whenIsawthathedidn”tcareanythingaboutmeexceptinoneway——Ididn”tseehimanymore。I——I”vebeensorryeversince。”
Susandidnotofferthehoped-forsympathy。Shewassilent。
“Didyoueverhaveanythinglikethathappentoyou？“inquiredEtta。
“Yes，“saidSusan。“Somethinglikethat。”
“Andwhatdidyoudo？“
“Ididn”twanttoseehimanymore。”
“Why？“
“Idon”tknow——exactly。
“Andyoulikehim？“
“IthinkIwouldhavelikedhim。”
“You”resorryyoustopped？“
“Sometimes，“repliedshe，hesitatingly。
Shewasbeginningtobeafraidthatshewouldsoonbesorryallthetime。Everydaythewarwithinburstforthafresh。Shereproachedherselfforhergrowinghatredofherlife。Oughtshenottobegratefulthatshehadsomuch——thatshewasnotoneofasqualidquartetteinafoul，vermin-infestedbackbedroom——infestedinsteadofonlyoccasionallyvisited——thatshewasnotastreetwalker，diseased，prowlinginallweathers，thepreyofthecoarsehumorsofcontemptuousandusuallydrunkenbeasts；thatshewasnotlivingwhereeveryoneaboutherwould，bypityoroutofspitefulness，tearopenthewoundsofthathideousbrandwhichhadbeenputuponheratbirth？Aboveall，sheoughttobethankfulthatshewasnotJebFerguson”swife。
Buthereffortstomakeherselfresignedandcontented，tokillherdoubtsastothegoodnessof“goodness，“werenotsuccessful。ShehadTomBrashear”s“ungrateful“nature——thenaturethatwillnotletamanorawomanstayintheclassofhewersofwoodanddrawersofwaterbutdriveshimorheroutofit——andupordown。
“You”reoneofthosethatthingshappento，“theoldcabinetmakersaidtoheronaSeptemberevening，astheysatonthesidewalkinfrontoftherestaurant。Thetenementshaddischargedtheirswarmsintothehotstreet，andtherewasthatlivelypanoramaofdirtanddiseaseanddepravitywhichisfascinating——tounaccustomedeyes。“Yes，“saidTom，“things”llhappentoyou。”
“What——forinstance？“sheasked。
“Godonlyknows。You”llupanddosomethingsomeday。You”resettin”herejusttogrowwings。Someday——swish！——andoffyou”llsoar。It”sapityyouwasbornfemale。Still——there”salotoffemalesthatgetsup。Cometothinkofit，Iguesssexdon”tmatter。It”shavin”thesoul——andmightyfewofeithersexhasit。”
“Oh，I”mlikeeverybodyelse，“saidthegirlwithanimpatientsigh。“Idream，but——itdoesn”tcometoanything。”
“No，youain”tlikeeverybodyelse，“retortedhe，withapositiveshakeofhisfinelyshapedhead，thatchedsuperblywithwhitehair。“Youain”tafraid，forinstance。That”stheprincipalsignofagreatsoul，Iguess。”
“Oh，butI_am_afraid，“criedSusan。“I”veonlylatelyfoundoutwhatacowardIam。”
“Youthinkyouare，“saidthecabinetmaker。“There”sthemthat”safraidtodo，anddon”tdo。Thenthere”sthemthat”safraidtodo，butgoesaheadanddoesanyhow。That”syou。Idon”tknowwhereyoucamefrom——oh，IheardEtta”saccountin”foryoutoherma，butthat”sneitherherenorthere。Idon”tknowwhereyoucomefrom，andIdon”tknowwhereyou”regoing。But——youain”tafraid——andyouhaveimagination——andthosetwosignsmeanssomethingdoing。”
Susanshookherheaddejectedly；ithadbeenacruellyharddayatthefactoryandtheodorsfromthegirlsworkingoneithersideofherhadallbutoverwhelmedher。
OldTomnoddedwithstrongeremphasis。“You”retooyoung，yet，“
hesaid。“Andnotlickedintoshape。Butwaitawhile。You”llgetthere。”
Susanhopedso，butdoubtedit。Therewasnotimetoworkattheselargeproblemsofdestinywhenthedailygrindwassocompelling，sowearing，whentheproblemsofbarefood，clothingandsheltertookalltherewasinher。
Forexample，therewasthematterofclothes。Shehadcomewithonlywhatshewaswearing。ShegavetheBrashearseverySaturdaytwodollarsandahalfofherthreeandwasashamedofherselffortakingsomuchforsolittle，whenshelearnedaboutthecostoflivingandhowdifferentwasthefoodtheBrashearshadfromthatofanyotherfamilyinthosequarters！Assoonasshehadsavedfourdollarsfromherwages——ittooknearlytwomonths——sheboughtthenecessarymaterialsandmadeherselftwoplainouterskirts，threeblousesandthreepairsofdrawers。
Chemisesandcorsetcoversshecouldnotafford。Sheboughtapairofshoesforadollar，twopairsofstockingsforthirtycents，acorsetforeightycents，anumbrellaforhalfadollar，twounderwaistsforaquarter。Sheboughtanuntrimmedhatforthirty-fivecentsandtrimmeditwiththecleanedribbonfromhersummersailorandaleftoverbitofskirtmaterial。Shealsomadeherselfajacketthathadtoserveaswraptoo——andthematerialsforthistookthesurplusofherwagesforanothermonth。Thecoldweatherhadcome，andshehadtowalkfastwhenshewasintheopenairnottobechilledtothebone。HerAuntFannyhadbeenoneofthosewomen，nottoocommoninAmerica，whounderstandandpracticegenuineeconomyinthehousehold——nottheshabbystinginessthatpassesforeconomybutthelayingoutofmoneytothebestadvantagethatcomesonlywhenoneknowsvalues。ThistrainingstoodSusaningoodsteadnow。Itsavedherfromdisaster——fromdisintegration。
SheandEttadidsomewashingeverynight，hangingthethingsonthefireescapetodry。Inthiswayshewasabletobeclean；
butinappearanceshelookedaspoorasshewas。Shefoundacobblerwhokepthershoesinfairorderforafewcents；butnothingwasrightaboutthemsoon——exceptthattheywerenotdownattheheel。ShecouldrecallhowshehadoftenwonderedwhythepoorgirlsatSutherlandshowedsolittletaste，lookedsodowdy。Shewonderedatherownstupidity，atthenarrownessofaneducation，suchashershadbeen，aneducationthatleftherignorantoftheconditionsoflifeasitwaslivedbyallbutaluckyfewofherfellowbeings。
Howfewthelucky！Whatanamazingworld——whatastrangecreationthehumanrace！Howwasitpossiblethattheluckyfew，amongwhomshehadbeenbornandbred，shouldknowsolittle，reallynothing，aboutthelotofthevastmassoftheirfellows，livingallaroundthem，closeupagainstthem？“IfIhadonlyknown！“shethought。Andthenshereflectedthat，ifshehadknown，pleasurewouldhavebeenimpossible。Shecouldseeherbureaudrawers，herclosetsathome。Shehadthoughtherselfnotanytoowelloff。Now，howluxurious，howstuffedwithshameful，wastefulunnecessariesthosedrawersandclosetsseemed！
Andmerelytokeepherselfinunderclothesthatwereatleastnotintattersshehadtospendeverycentoverandaboveherboard。Ifshehadhadtopaycarfaretencentsaday，sixtycentsaweek！——asdidmanyofthegirlswholivedathome，shewouldhavebeenruined。Sheunderstoodnowwhyeverygirlwithoutafamilybackofher，andwithoutgoodprospectofmarriage，wasrevolvingtheideaofbecomingastreetwalker——notasahope，butasafear。Asshelearnedtoobservemoreclosely，shefoundgoodreasonsforsuspectingthatfromtimetotimethegirlswhobecametoohardpressedrelievedthetensionbytakingtothestreetsonSaturdayandSundaynights。Shereadinthe_Commercial_onenoon——Mr。Matsonsometimeslefthispaperwhereshecouldglancethroughit——shereadanarticleonworkinggirls，howtheywereseducedtolivesofshame——byloveof_finery_！Thenshereadthatthosewhodidnotfallwererestrainedbyreligionandinnatepurity。Thereshelaughed——bitterly。Fearofdisease，fearofmaternity，yes。Butwherewasthisreligion？WhobutthedullestfoolsinthethroesofthatbareandtorturedlifeeverthoughtofGod？Asforthepurity——whatabouttheobscenetalkthatmadehershudderbecauseofitssheerfilthystupidity？——whataboutthefrankshamelessnessoftheeffortstoluretheir“steadies“intospeedymatrimonybyusingeverycharmofcaressandofpersontoinflamepassionwithoutsatisfyingit？Shehadthoughtsheknewabouttherelationsofthesexeswhenshecametoliveandworkinthattenementquarter。Soonherknowledgehadseemedignorancebesidetheknowledgeoftheverybabies。
Itwasasad，sadpuzzle。Ifoneoughttobegood——chasteandcleaninmindandbody——then，whywastherethemosttremendouspressureonallbutafewtomakethemasfoulasthesurroundingsinwhichtheywerecompelledtolive？Ifitwaswisertobegood，thenwhyweremostpeopleimprisonedinalifefromwhichtheycouldescapeonlybybeingbad？Whatwasthisthingcomfortablepeoplehadsetupasgood，anyhow——andwhatwasbad？Shefoundnoanswer。HowcouldGodcondemnanyoneforanythingtheydidinthetormentsofthehellthatliferevealeditselftoherasbeing，afterafewweeksofitsmoral，mentalandphysicalhorrors？Etta”sfatherwasright；thosewhorealizedwhatlifereallywasandwhatitmightbe，thosewhoweresensitivetooktodrinkorwenttopiecessomeotherway，iftheyweregentle，andiftheywerecruel，committedanybrutality，anycrimetotrytoescape。
InformerdaysSusanthoughtwellofcharity，asshehadbeentaught。OldTomBrasheargaveheradifferentpointofview。Onedayheinsultedanddrovefromthetenementsomepiouscharitablepeoplewhohadcomedownfromthefashionablehilltoptobegoodandgracioustotheir“lessfashionablefellow-beings。”AftertheyhadgoneheexplainedhisharshnesstoSusan：
“That”stheonlywayyoucanmakethemslickedupbrutesfeel，“
saidhe，“they”resothickinthehideandsatisfiedwiththemselves。Whatdotheycomeherefor！Todogood！Yes——tothemselves。Tomakethemselvesfeelhowgenerousandsweettheywas。Well，they”dbettergohomeandreadtheirRussia-leathercoveredBibles。They”dfindoutthatwhenGodwantedtoreallydosomethingforman，hedidn”thavehimselfcreatedaking，oraplutocrat，orafat，slimychurchdeaconinafashionablechurch。No，hehadhimselfbornabastardinamanger。”
Susanshivered，forthetruththusputsoundedlikesacrilege。
Thenaglow——aglowofprideandofhope——sweptthroughher。
“Ifyouevergetupintoanotherclass，“wentonoldTom，“don”tcomehangin”roundthecommonpeopleyou”llbelivin”offofandhelpin”togrinddown；sticktoyourownclass。That”stheonlyplaceanybodycandoanygood——anyrealhelpin”andlovin”，mantoman，andwomantowoman。Ifyouwanttohelpanybodythat”sdown，pullhimupintoyourclassfirst。Sticktoyourclass。