Sodepartthatdailythoumayestbecomemoreusefultothycountryandtomankind。’’
IoftenrecallthesayingofSt。PhilipNeri，who，inthedaysoftheElizabethanpersecutions，waswonttogazeatthestudentspassingoutfromthegatesoftheEnglishCollegeatRome，ontheirwaytoGreatBritain，andtosay:``Iamfeastingmyeyesonthosemartyrsyonder。’’Myownfeelingsarelikehis，buthappier:I
feastmyeyesonthoseyouthsgoingforthfromCornellUniversityintothisnewtwentiethcenturytoseegreatthingsthatIshallneversee，andtomakethenewtimebetterthantheold。
Duringmylife，whichisnowextendingbeyondtheallottedspanofthreescoreandten，Ihavebeenengagedafterthemannerofmycountrymen，inmanysortsofwork，havebecomeinterestedinmanyconditionsofmenhavejoinedinmanyeffortswhichIhopehavebeenofuse;but，mostofall，IhavebeeninterestedinthefoundingandmaintainingofCornellUniversity，andbythepartI
havetakeninthat，morethanbyanyotherworkofmylifeIhopetobejudged。
PARTV
INTHEDIPLOMATICSERVICE
CHAPTERXXVI
ASATTACHATST。PETERSBURG——1854—1855
WhileyetanundergraduateatYale，myfavoritestudiesinhistoryandsomelittleattentiontointernationallawledmetotakespecialinterestinthediplomaticrelationsbetweenmodernstates;butitneveroccurredtomethatImighthaveanythingtododirectlywiththem。
HavingreturnedtoNewHavenaftermygraduation，intendingtogivemyselfespeciallytomodernlanguagesasapreparationfortravelandhistoricalstudyabroad，Isawoneday，frommywindowinNorthCollege，myfriendGilman，thenoftheclassabovemine，sincepresidentofJohnsHopkinsUniversityandoftheCarnegieInstitution，rushingalongingreathaste，and，ongoingouttogreethim，learnedthathehadbeeninvitedbyGovernorSeymourofConnecticut，thenewlyappointedministertoRussia，togowithhimasanattach，andthat，athissuggestion，asimilarinvitationwouldbeextendedtome。
Whileindoubtonthematter，ItookthetrainforNewYorktoconsultmyfather，and，enteringacar，byahappychancefoundtheonlyvacantplaceatthesideofthegovernor。Ihadneverseenhim，exceptontheplatformatmygraduation，threemonthsbefore;butonmyintroducingmyself，hespokekindlyofmyargumentonthatoccasion，which，ashewas``pro—slavery’’andI``anti—slavery，’’I
hadsupposedhewoulddetest;thentalkedpleasantlyonvarioussubjects，and，onourseparatingatNewYork，invitedmesocordiallytogotoRussiawithhimthatIthenandtheredecidedtodoso，and，onmeetingmyfather，announcedmydecision。
Onthe10thofDecember，1853，IsailedforEngland，withGilman，andinLondonawaitedGovernorSeymour，who，atthelastmoment，haddecidednottoleaveWashingtonuntiltheSenatehadconfirmedhisnomination;butthisdelayprovedtobefortunate，fortherebyopportunitywasaffordedmetoseesomeinterestingmen，andespeciallyMr。Buchanan，whohadpreviouslybeenministertoRussia，wasafterwardPresidentoftheUnitedStates，andwasatthattimeministeratthecourtofSt。James。HewasoneofthetwoorthreebesttalkersIhaveeverknown，andmyfirstknowledgeofhisqualitiesinthisrespectwasgainedatagreatdinnergiveninhishonorbyMr。GeorgePeabody，thebanker。Adayortwobefore，ourministerinSpain，Mr。Soul，andhissonhadeachfoughtaduel，onewiththeFrenchambassador，theMarquisdeTurgot，andtheotherwiththeDukeofAlba，onaccountofasupposedwantofcourtesytoMrs。Soul;andtheconversationbeingdirectedsomewhatbythisevent，IrecallMr。Buchanan’sreminiscencesofduelswhichhehadknownduringhislongpubliclifeasamongthemostinterestingIhaveeverheardonanysubject。
ShortlyafterthearrivalofGovernorSeymour，wewentontoParis，andthere，placingmyselfinthefamilyofaFrenchprofessor，Iremained，whiletherestofthepartywentontoSt。Petersburg;myideabeingtohearlecturesonhistoryandkindredsubjects，thustofitmyselfbyfluencyinFrenchforserviceintheattachship，and，byotherknowledge，forlaterduties。
AfterstayinginFrancefornearlyayear，havingreceivedanearnestrequestfromGovernorSeymourtocomeontoRussiabeforethebeginningofthewinter，I
leftParisaboutthemiddleofOctoberandwentbywayofBerlin。InthosedaystherewasnorailroadbeyondtheeasternfrontierofPrussia，and，astheCrimeanWarwasgoingon，therewasablockadeinforcewhichmadeitimpossibletoenterRussiabysea;consequentlyIhadsevendaysandsevennightsofsteadytravelinginapost—
coachafterenteringtheRussianEmpire。
ArrivingattheRussiancapitalonthelastdayofOctober，1854，Iwasmostheartilywelcomedbytheminister，whoinsistedthatIshouldenjoyalltheprivilegesofresidencewithhim。AmongthethingstowhichInowlookbackasofthegreatestvaluetome，isthisstayofnearlyayearunderhisroof。Theattachship，asitexistedinthosedays，wasinmanywaysagoodthingandinnowayevil;butitwasafterwardabolishedbyCongressonthegroundthatcertainpersonshadabuseditsprivileges。
Iamnotaloneinbelievingthatitcouldagainbemadeofrealservicetothecountry:oneofthebestsecretariesofstateourcountryhaseverhad，Mr。HamiltonFish，onceexpressedtomehisdeepregretatitssuppression。
Underthesystemwhichthusprevailedatthattimeyoungmenofsufficientmeans，generallyfromtheleadinguniversities，weresecuredtoaidtheminister，withoutanycosttothegovernment，theironlyremunerationbeinganopportunitytoseethelifeandstudytheinstitutionsofthecountrytowhichtheministerwasaccredited。
Thedutyofanattachwastoassisttheministerinsecuringinformation，inconductingcorrespondence，andincarryingonthelegationgenerally;hewasvirtuallyanadditionalsecretaryoflegation，anditwasapartofmydutytoactasinterpreter。AssuchIwasconstantlycalledtoaccompanytheministerinhisconferenceswithhiscolleaguesaswellaswiththeministersoftheRussiangovernment，andalsotobepresentatcourtandatceremonialinterviews:thiswasofcourseveryinterestingtome。IntheintervalsofvariousdutiesmytimewasgivenlargelytostudyingsuchworksuponRussiaandespeciallyuponRussianhistoryaswereaccessible，andtherecenthistorywasallthemoreinterestingfromthefactthatsomeofthemenwhohadtakenaleadingpartinitwerestilluponthestage。Oneoccasionespeciallycomesbacktomewhen，findingmyselfatanofficialfunctionnearanoldgeneralwhowasallowedtositwhilealltheothersstood，IlearnedthathewasoneofthefewstillsurvivingwhohadtakenaleadingpartintheoperationsagainstNapoleon，in1812，atMoscow。
ItwastheperiodoftheCrimeanWar，andatourlegationtherewereexcellentopportunitiesforobservingnotonlysocietyatlarge，butthestrugglethengoingonbetweenRussiaononeside，andGreatBritain，France，Italy，andTurkeyontheother。
ThemaindutiesoftheAmericanrepresentativeweretokeephisowngovernmentwellinformed，toguardtheinterestsofhiscountrymen，andnotonlytomaintain，buttodevelop，thefriendlyrelationsthathadexistedformanyyearsbetweenRussiaandtheUnitedStates。A
successionofableAmericanministershadcontributedtoestablishtheserelations:amongthemtwowhoafterwardbecamePresidentoftheUnitedStates——JohnQuincyAdamsandJamesBuchanan，GeorgeMifflinDallas，whoafterwardbecameVice—President;JohnRandolphofRoanoke;
andanumberofothershardlylessimportantinthehistoryofourcountry。Fortunately，thetwonationswerenaturallyinclinedtopeacefulrelations;neitherhadanyinterestantagonistictotheother，andunderthesecircumstancesthecourseoftheministerwasplain:itwastokeephisgovernmentoutofallentanglements，andatthesametimetodrawthetwocountriesmorecloselytogether。Thisourministeratthattimewasverysuccessfulindoing:hisrelationswiththeleadingRussians，fromtheEmperordown，wereallthatcouldbedesired，andtotheworkofmenlikehimislargelyduethefactthatafterward，inourgreatemergencyduringtheCivilWar，RussiashowedaninclinationtousthatprobablyhadsomethingtodowithholdingbackthepowersofwesternEuropefromrecognizingtheSouthernConfederacy。
Tothefeelingthuscreatedisalsodue，insomemeasure，thetransferofAlaska，whichhasprovedfortunate，inspiteofourhaltingandunsatisfactoryadministrationofthatregionthusfar。
TheCzaratthatperiod，NicholasI，wasamostimposingpersonage，andwasgenerallyconsideredthemostperfectspecimenofahumanbeing，physicallyspeaking，inallEurope。Atcourt，inthevastroomsfilledwithrepresentativesfromallpartsoftheworld，andatthegreatreviewsofhistroops，heloomedupmajestically，andamongthethingsmoststronglyimpresseduponmymemoryishisappearanceasIsawhim，justbeforehisdeath，drivinginhissledgeandgivingthemilitarysalute。
Norwashelessmajesticindeath。Inthespringof1855
heyieldedverysuddenlytoanattackofpneumonia，doubtlessrenderedfatalbythedepressionduetotheillsuccessofthewarintowhichhehadrashlyplunged;
andadayortwoafterwarditwasmademydutytoattend，withourminister，attheWinterPalace，thefirstpresentationofthediplomaticcorpstothenewEmperor，AlexanderII。Thescenewasimpressive。Theforeignministershavingbeenarrangedinasemicircle，withtheirsecretariesandattachsbesidethem，thegreatdoorswereflungopen，andtheyoungEmperor，conductedbyhisMinisterofForeignAffairs，CountNesselrode，enteredtheroom。Tearswerestreamingdownhischeeks，andhegavehisaddresswithdeepfeeling。HedeclaredthatiftheHolyAlliancemadein1815hadbeenbroken，itwasnotthefaultofRussia;thatthoughhelongedforpeace，iftermsshouldbeinsisteduponbytheWesternpowers，attheapproachingParisconference，incompatiblewithRussianhonor，hewouldputhimselfattheheadofhisfaithfulcountry，——wouldretreatintoSiberia，——woulddieratherthanyield。
Thenoccurredanincidentespeciallystriking。FromAustria，whichonlysevenyearsbeforehadbeensavedbyRussiafromdestructionintheAustro—Hungarianrevolution，Russiahadexpected，inordinarygratitude，atleastsomeshowofneutrality。ButithadbecomeevidentthatgratitudehadnotpreventedAustriafromsecretlyjoiningthehostilenations;thereforeitwasthat，inthecourseoftheaddress，theEmperor，turningtotheAustrianrepresentative，CountEsterhazy，addressedhimwiththegreatestseverity，hintedattheingratitudeofhisgovernment，andinsistedonRussia’srighttoadifferentreturn。
DuringallthispartoftheaddresstheEmperorAlexanderfastenedhiseyesuponthoseoftheAustrianministerandspokeinamannermuchlikethatwhichtheheadofaschoolwouldusetowardaschool—boycaughtinmisdoing。
AtthecloseofthisspeechcamethemostperfectexampleofdeportmentIhadeverseen:theAustrianminister，havinglookedtheCzarfullintheface，fromfirsttolast，withouttheslightesttraceoffeeling，bowedsolemnly，respectfully，withtheutmostdeliberation，andthenstoodimpassive，asifwordshadnotbeenspokendestinedtochangethetraditionalrelationsbetweenthetwogreatneighboringpowers，andtoproduceabitternesswhich，havinglastedthroughthelatterhalfofthenineteenthcentury，bidsfairtocontinuefarintothetwentieth。
KnowingtheimportanceofthisspeechasanindicationtoourgovernmentofwhatwaslikelytobethecourseoftheEmperor，Ideterminedtoretainitinmymind;and，althoughmyverbalmemoryhasneverbeenretentive，I
wasable，onreturningtoourlegation，towritethewholeofit，wordforword。Intheformthusgiven，itwastransmittedtoourStateDepartment，where，afewyearssince，whenlookingoversundrypapers，Ifoundit。
ImmediatelyafterthispresentationthediplomaticcorpsproceededtotheroominwhichthebodyofNicholaslayinstate。Heapedupaboutthecoffinwerethejeweledcrossesandorderswhichhadbeensenthimbythevariousmonarchsoftheworld，and，inthemidstofthem，thecrownsandsceptersofallthecountrieshehadruled，amongthemthoseofSiberia，Astrakhan，Kazan，Poland，theCrimea，and，aboveall，thegreatcrownandscepteroftheempire。Athisfeettwomonkswererepeatingprayersforthedead;hisfaceandformwerestillasnobleandunconquerableasever。
HisfuneraldwellsinmymemoryasthemostimposingpageantIhadeverseen。WhenhisbodywascarriedfromthepalacetotheFortressChurch，itwasbornebetweendoublelinesoftroopsstandingcloselytogetheroneachsideoftheavenuesforadistanceoffivemiles;marshalsoftheempirecarriedthelessercrownsandimperialinsigniabeforehisbody;andfinallywerebornethegreatimperialcrown，orb，andscepter，themassesofjewelsinthem，andespeciallytheOrloffdiamondswinginginthetopofthescepter，flashingforthvividlyonthatbrightwintermorning，andcastingtheirraysfaralongtheavenues。BehindthebodywalkedtheEmperorAlexanderandthemalemembersoftheimperialfamily。
LatercametheburialintheFortressChurchofSt。
PeterandSt。Paul，ontheislandoftheNeva，nearlyoppositetheWinterPalace。That，too，wasmostimposing。
Choirshadbeenassembledfromthefourgreatcathedralsoftheempire，andtheirmusicwasbeyonddreams。Attheproperpointintheservice，theEmperorandhisbrothers，havingtakenthebodyoftheirfatherfromitscoffinandwrappeditinashroudofgoldcloth，carriedittothegravenearthatofPetertheGreat，attherightofthehighaltar;and，asitwaslaidtorest，andbeautifulmusicroseaboveus，thegunsofthefortressonallsidesofthechurchsoundedthebattle—rolluntilthewholeedificeseemedtorockuponitsfoundations。NeverhadI
imaginedascenesoimpressive。
Amongthepersonswithwhomitwasmydutytodeal，inbehalfofourrepresentative，wasthePrimeMinisterofRussia，——theMinisterofForeignAffairs，——CountNesselrode。
Hewasatthatperiodthemostnoteddiplomatistintheworld;for，havingbeenassociatedwithTalleyrand，Metternich，andtheircompeersattheCongressofVienna，hewasnowthelastofthegreatdiplomatistsoftheNapoleonicperiod。Hereceivedmemostkindlyandsaid，``Soyouarebeginningadiplomaticcareer？’’MyanswerwasthatIcouldnotbeginitmorefitlythanbymakingtheacquaintanceoftheNestorofdiplomacy，orwordstothateffect，andthesewordsseemedtopleasehim。Wheneverhemetmeafterwardhismannerwascordial，andheseemedalwaysreadytodoallinhispowertofavorthebestrelationsbetweenthetwocountries。
TheAmericancolonyinRussiaatthatperiodwassmall，andvisitorswerefew;butsomeoftheseenlivenedus。OfthemoreinterestingwereColonelSamuelColtofHartford，inventoroftherevolverwhichbearshisname，andhiscompanion，Mr。Dickerson，eminentasanexpertinmechanicalmattersandanauthorityonthelawofpatents。TheyhadcomeintotheempireinthehopeofmakingacontracttosupplytheRussianswithimprovedarmssuchastheallieswerebeginningtouseagainstthemintheCrimea;buttheheavyconservatismofRussianofficialsthwartedalltheirefforts。Toallrepresentationsastotheimportanceofimprovedarmstheanswerwas，``Oursoldiersaretooignoranttouseanythingbuttheold`brownBess。’’’TheresultwasthattheRussiansoldiersweresacrificedbythousands;theirinferiorityinarmsbeingonemaincauseoftheirfinaldefeat。
ThatsomethingbetterthanthismighthavebeenexpectedwasmadeevidenttousallonedaywhenI
conductedthesegentlementhroughtheImperialMuseumoftheHermitage，adjoiningtheWinterPalace。AfterlookingthroughtheartcollectionswewentintotheroomwherewerepreservedtherelicsofPetertheGreat，andespeciallythemachinesofvarioussortsmadeforhimbythemechanicswhomhecalledtohisaidfromHollandandotherWesterncountries。Thesemachineswerenotthenshutupincases，astheynoware，butwereplacedabouttheroomandeasyofaccess。PresentlyIheardMr。Dickersoninaloudvoicecallout:``GoodGod！Sam，comehere！Onlylookatthis！’’Onourgoingtohim，hepointedouttousalatheforturningirregularformsandanotherforcopyingreliefs，withspecimensofworkstillinthem。``Lookatthat，’’hesaid。``HereisBlanchard’sturning—lathe，whichonlyrecentlyhasbeenreinvented，whichourgovernmentusesinturningmusket—stocks，andwhichisworthafortune。Lookatthosereliefsinthisothermachine;hereistheverylatheforcopyingsculpturethathasjustbeenreinvented，andisnowattractingsomuchattentionatParis。’’
Thesemachineshadstoodthereinthegallery，opentoeverybody，eversincethedeathofPeter，twohundredyearsbefore，andnohumanbeinghadapparentlyevertakenthetroubletofindthevalueofthem。
ButtherecameAmericansofaverydifferentsort，andnoinconsiderablepartofourminister’sdutieswastokeephishot—headedfellow—citizensfromembroilingourcountrywiththemilitantpowers。
AveryconsiderablepartyintheUnitedStatesleanedtowardRussiaandsoughttoaidhersecretly，ifnotopenly。ThisfeelingwasstrongestinourSouthernStatesandamongthesympathizerswithslaveryinourNorthernStates，amainagentofitinSt。PetersburgbeingDr。
CottmanofNewOrleans，anditsmaincausesbeingtheolddislikeofGreatBritain，andtheideaamongpro—slaveryfanaticsthattherewasatiebetweentheirpartofourcountryandRussiaarisingfromthefactthatwhiletheAmericanRepublicwasblessedwithslavery，theRussianEmpirewasenjoyingtheadvantagesoftheserfsystem。ThisfeelingmighthavebeenverydifferenthadthesesympathizerswithRussiabeenawarethatatthisverymomentAlexanderIIwasplanningtoabolishtheserfsystemthroughouthiswholeempire;butasitwas，theiradmirationforRussiaknewnobounds，andtheyevenpersuadedleadingRussiansthatitwouldnotbeadifficultmattertocommitAmericatothecauseofRussia，eventoaidingherwitharms，men，andprivateers。
ThismadethedutyoftheAmericanministerattimesverydelicate;for，whileshowingfriendlinesstoRussia，hehadtothwarttheeffortsofherover—zealousAmericanadvocates。Moreover，constantthoughthadtobeexercisedfortheprotectionofAmericancitizensthenwithintheempire。CertainRussianagentshadinducedanumberofyoungAmericanphysiciansandsurgeonswhohadbeenstudyinginParistoentertheRussianarmy，andthese，havingbeengivenpayandrapidadvancement，inthehopethatthiswouldstrengthenAmericanfeelingfavorabletotheRussiancause，werenaturallyhatedbytheRussiansurgeons;hencemanyoftheseyoungcompatriotsofourswerebadlytreated，——somesoseverelythattheydied，——anditbecamepartofourminister’sdutytoextricatethesurvivorsfromtheirunfortunateposition。
Morethanonce，onreturningwithhimfromaninterviewwiththeMinisterofWar，IsawtearsinGovernorSeymour’seyesashedweltuponthedeathofsomeoftheseyoungfellowswhomhehadlearnedtoloveduringtheirstayinSt。Petersburg。
ThewarbroughtoutmanyAmericanadventurers，someofthemcuriositiesofcivilization，andthiswasespeciallythecasewithseveralwhohadplansforsecuringvictorytoRussiaovertheWesternpowers。Allsortsofnostrumswerebroughtinbyallsortsofcharlatans，andtheeffortsoftheministerandhissubordinatestokeepthesegentlemenwithinthelimitsofproprietyintheirdealingswithoneanotherandwiththeRussianauthoritieswereattimesveryarduous。Ononeoccasion，themainfunctionariesoftheRussianarmyhavingbeenassembledwithgreatdifficultytoseethetestofanewAmericaninventioninartillery，itwasfoundthattheinventor’srivalhadstolensomeessentialpartofthegun，andthewholethingwasavexatiousfailure。
Onemanwhocameoutwithsuperbplansbroughtamilitiacolonel’scommissionfromthegovernorofaWesternStateandthefulluniformofamajor—general。Atfirsthehesitatedtoclothehimselfinallhisglory，andthereforewentthroughaprocessofevolution，beginningfirstwithpartofhisuniformandthenaddingmoreashiscouragerose。DuringthisprocesshebecamethestandingjokeofSt。Petersburg;butlater，whenhehademergedinfullandfinalsplendor，hebecameamanofmarkindeed，somuchsothatseriousdifficultiesarose。
Throughoutthecityarevariouscorpsdegarde，andthesentinelondutybeforeeachofthese，whileallowedmerelytopresentarmstoanofficeroflowerrank，must，wheneverhecatchessightofageneralofficer，callouttheentireguardtopresentarmswiththebeatingofdrums。HereourAmericanwasasourceofmuchdifficulty，forwheneveranysentinelcaughtsightofhisgorgeousepauletsinthedistancetheguardwasinstantlycalledout，armspresented，anddrumsbeaten，muchtothedelightofourfriend，butevenmoretothedisgustofthegeneralsoftheRussianarmyandtothetroops，whothusrenderedabsurdhomageandfoundthemselvestakingpartinsomethinglikeabitofcomicopera。
Anotherexamplewasalsointeresting。ANewYorkwardleader——big，rough，androsy——hadcomeoutasanagentforanAmericanbreech—loadingmusketcompany，andhadsmuggledspecimensofarmsoverthefrontier。
ArrivinginSt。Petersburg，hewaspresentedtotheEmperor，andafterreceivinghandsometestimonials，wasputinchargeoftwoaides—de—camp，whotookhimandhiswifeabout，incourtcarriages，toseethesightsoftheRussiancapital。Atthecloseofhisstay，wishingtomakesomereturnforthiscourtesy，hegavethesetwoofficersadinnerathishotel。Ourministerdeclinedhisinvitation，butallowedthesecretaryandmetoacceptit，andweverygladlyavailedourselvesofthispermission。
Arrivingathisrooms，weweresoonseatedatatablesplendidlyfurnished。Attheheadofitwasthewifeofourentertainer，andatherrightoneoftheRussianofficials，ingorgeousuniform;attheotherendofourtablewasourhost，andathisrighttheotherRussianofficial，splendidlyattired;besidethefirstofficialsatoursecretary，andbesidetheotherwastheplaceassignedtome。Thedinnerwassuccessful:allspokeEnglish，andallwerehappy;
buttowardtheendofitourhost，havingperhapstakenmorewinethanwashiswont，grewcommunicative，and，asillluckwouldhaveit，thesubjectoftheconversationbecamepersonalcourage，whereuponhetoldastory。RecallinghisexperienceasadeputysheriffofNewYork，hesaid:
``WhenthoseriverpirateswhomurderedasailorinNewYorkharborhadtobehanged，thesheriffofthecountyhadn’tthecouragetodoitandorderedmetohangthem。Iratherhatedthebusiness，butImadeeverythingready，andwhenthetimecameItookanextraglassofbrandy，cuttherope，andofftheyswung。’’
ThetwoRussiansstartedbackinconsternation。Notalltheirpolitenesscouldconcealit:horrorofhorrors，theywerediningwithahangman！Besidestheirsenseofdegradationinthiscompanionship，superstitionshadbeenbredinthemwhichdoubledtheirdistress。Adeadsilencefelloverall。IwasthefirsttobreakitbyremarkingtomyRussianneighbor:
``Youmayperhapsnotknow，sir，thatintheStateofNewYorkthetakingoflifebydueprocessoflawisconsideredsosolemnamatterthatweintrustittothechiefexecutiveofficersofourcounties，——tooursheriffs，——
andnottohangmenorexecutioners。’’
HelookedatmeverysolemnlyasIannouncedthistruth，andthen，afterasolemnpause，gaspedoutinadubious，awe—struckvoice，``Mercibien，monsieur。’’Butthisdidnotrestoregaietytothedinner。Henceforthitwascoldindeed，andattheearliestmomentpossibletheRussianofficialsbowedthemselvesout，andnodoubt，foralongtimeafterward，ascribedanyillluckwhichbefellthemtothissceneofillomen。
Anothercaseinwhichthisirrepressiblecompatriotfiguredwashardlylesspeculiar。HavingdecidedtoreturntoAmerica，andtheblockadebeingstillinforce，hesecuredaplaceinthepost—coachforthesevendaysandsevennights’journeytothefrontier。Theopportunitiestosecuresuchpassageswerefewandfarbetween，sincethiswasvirtuallytheonlypublicconveyanceoutoftheempire。AshewasobligedtohavehispassportvisdattheRussianForeignOfficeinorderthathemightleavethecountry，ithadbeensentbythelegationtotheRussianauthoritiesafortnightbeforehisdeparture，butundervariouspretextsitwasretained，andatlastdidnotarriveintime。Whenthehourofdeparturecamehewasatthepost—housewaitingforhispass，andashehadbeenassuredthatitwoulddulyreachhim，heexertedhimselfineverywaytodelaythecoach。Hebribedonesubordinateafteranother;butatlastthedelaywassolongandtheotherpassengerssoimpatientthatoneofthehigherofficialsappeareduponthesceneandorderedthecoachtostart。AtthisourAmericanwaswildwithrageandbeganaspeechinGermanandEnglish——sothatalltheofficialsmightunderstandit——onRussianofficialsandontheempireingeneral。Alargeaudiencehavinggatheredaroundhim，hewasorderedtoremovehishat。Atthishehelditonallthemorefirmly，declaredhimselfanAmerican，anddefiedthewholepoweroftheempiretoremoveit。HethenwentontodenounceeverythinginRussia，fromtheEmperordown。Hedeclaredthattheofficialswereapackofscoundrels;thattheonlyreasonwhyhedidnotobtainhispassportwasthathehadnotbribedthemashighlyastheyexpected;thattheempireoughttobeabolished;thathehopedtheWesternpowersinthewarthengoingonwouldfinishit——indeed，thathethoughttheywould。
Therewasprobablysometruthinhisremarkastotheinadequatebribingofofficials;buttheamazingthingwasthathisaudienceweresoparalyzedbyhisutterancesandsooverawedbyhisattitudethattheymadenoefforttoarresthim。Thencameanewscene。Whiletheywerestandingbeforehimthusconfounded，hesuddenlyturnedtothebasketofprovisionswhichhehadlaidinforhissevendays’journey，andbeganpeltinghisaudience，includingtheofficialabovenamed，withitscontents，hurlingsandwiches，oranges，andfinallyevenroastchickens，pigeons，andpartridges，attheirdevotedheads。Atlast，pressinghishatfirmlyoverhisbrows，hestrodeforthtothelegationunmolested。Thereittooksomelabortocoolhiswrath;buthispassporthavingfinallybeenobtained，wesecuredforhimpermissiontousepost—
horses，andsohedepartedfromtheempire。
Tosteerapropercourseinthemidstofsuchfellow—
citizenswasoftendifficult，andIrecallmultitudesofotherexampleshardlylesstroublesome;indeed，thecareerofthissamedeputysheriffatSt。Petersburgwasfullofotherpassagesrequiringcarefuldiplomaticinterventiontopreventhisarrest。
Luckilyforthesegentlemen，theRussiangovernmentfelt，justatthattime，specialneedofmaintainingfriendlyrelationswiththepowersnotatwarwithher，andthepublicfunctionariesofallsortswereevidentlyorderedtotreatAmericanswithextremecourtesyandforbearance。
Oneexperienceofthiswassomewhatcurious。OurfirstsecretaryoflegationandI，havinggoneonEasterevetothemidnightmassattheKazancathedral，wewereshownatonceintoaplaceofhonorinfrontofthegreatsilvericonostaseandstationedimmediatelybeforeoneofthedoorsopeningthroughitintotheinnersanctuary。Atfirsttheservicewentonindarkness，onlymitigatedbyafewtapersatthehighaltar;butastheclockstruckthehourofmidnighttherecamesuddenlytheroaringofthefortressguns，theboomingofgreatbellsaboveandaroundus，andalight，whichappearedattheoppositeendofthecathedral，seemedtoshootinalldirections，leavingtrainsoffire，untilallwasablaze，everypersonpresentholdingalightedtaper。Thencamethemass，celebratedbyabishopandhisacolytesgorgeouslyattired，withtheswingingofcensers，notonlytowardtheecclesiastics，buttowardthepersonsofimportancepresent，amongwhomwewereevidentlyincluded。Suddenlytherecameadeadstop，stillness，andanevidentatmosphereofembarrassment。Thentheceremonybeganagain，andagainthecenserswereswungtowardus，andagainadeadstop。Everythingseemedparalyzed。Presentlytherecamesoftlytomysideagentlemanwhosaidinalowtone，``YouareoftheAmericanlegation？’’I
answeredintheaffirmative。Hesaid，``Thisisaveryinterestingceremony。’’TothisIalsoassented。Hethensaid，``Isthisthefirsttimeyouhaveseenit？’’``Yes，’’I
answered;``wehaveneverbeeninRussiaatEasterbefore。’’
Hethentookveryformalleave，andagaintheceremonywasrevived，againthecloudsofincenserose，andagaincamethedeadstop。Presentlythesamegentlemancameupagain，gentlyrepeatedverymuchthesamequestionsasbefore，andreceivingthesameanswers，finallysaid，withsomeembarrassment:``MightIaskyoutokindlymoveasidealittle？Aprocessionhasbeenwaitingforsometimebackofthisdoor，andweareveryanxioustohaveitcomeoutintothechurch。’’AtthisSecretaryErvingandIstartedasideinstantly，muchchagrinedtothinkthatwehadcausedsuchastoppageinsuchaceremony;
thedoorsswungopen，andoutcameabrilliantprocessionofecclesiasticswithcrosses，censers，lights，andbanners。
Notallofourtroubleswereduetoourcompatriots。
Householdmatterssometimesgaveseriousannoyance。
TheministerhadembracedachanceveryrareinRussia，——onewhich，infact，almostneveroccurs，——andhadsecuredalargehousefullyfurnished，withtheservants，who，fromthebigchasseurwhostoodatthebackoftheminister’ssledgetotheboywhoblewtheorganonwhichIpractised，wereserfs，andall，withoutexception，docile，gentle，andkindly。Buttherewasonestandingenemy——vodka。ThefeelingoftheRussianpeasanttowardtheroughcorn—brandyofhisowncountryischaracteristic。
TheRussianlanguageisfullofdiminutivesexpressiveofaffection。ThepeasantaddresseshissuperiorasBatushka，theaffectionatediminutiveofthewordwhichmeansfather;headdressesthemistressofthehouseasMatushka，whichistheaffectionatediminutiveoftheRussianwordformother。Tohisfavoritedrink，brandy，hehasgiventhenamewhichistheaffectionatediminutiveofthewordvoda，water——namely，vodka，whichreallymeans``dearlittlewater。’’Vodkawasindeedourmostinsidiousfoe，andgavemanyevidencesofitspower;butoneofthemmadeanunwontedstiramongus。
Onedaytheminister，returninginhiscarriagefrommakingsundryofficialvisits，summonedthehousekeeper，aBaltic—provincewomanwhohadbeenadmirablybroughtupinanEnglishfamily，andsaidtoher:``AnnetteIinsistthatyoudischargeIvan，thecoachman，atonce;Ican’tstandhimanylonger。Thisafternoonheraced，withmeinthecarriage，upanddowntheNevsky，fromendtoend，withthecarriagesofgranddukesandministers，and，domybest，Icouldnotstophim。Hesimplylookedbackatme，grinnedlikeanidiot，anddroveonwithallhismight。
Itisthethirdtimehehasdonethis。Ihavepardonedhimtwiceonhissolemnpledgethathewoulddobetter;
butnowhemustgo。’’Annetteassented，andintheeveningafterdinnercameintotelltheministerthatIvanwasgoing，butwishedtobeghispardonandsayfarewell。
Theministerwentoutratherreluctantly，therestofusfollowing;buthehadhardlyreachedtheanteroomwhenIvan，agreatburlycreaturewithalongflowingbeardandcaftan，rushedforward，groveledbeforehim，embracedhisankles，laidhisheaduponhisfeet，andthereremainedmumblingandmoaning。Theministerwasgreatlyembarrassedandnervouslyejaculated:``Takehimaway！
Takehimaway！’’Butalltonopurpose。Ivancouldnotbeinducedtorelaxhishold。AtlasttheministerrelentedandtoldAnnettetoinformIvanthathewouldreceivejustonemoretrial，andthatifhefailedagainhewouldbesentawaytohisownerwithouthavinganyopportunitytoapologizeortosaygood—bye。
VeryinterestingtomewerethehousesofsomeoftheBritishresidents，andespeciallythatofMr。Baird，theheadoftheiron—workswhichborehisname，andwhich，atthattime，wereconsideredamongthewondersofRussia。
Hewasaninterestingcharacter。Noticing，amongthethreeverylargeandhandsomevasesinhisdining—
room，themiddleonemadeupofthebodiesofthreelargeeaglesinoxidizedsilverwithcrownsofgold，Iwastolditshistory。WhentheGrandDukeAlexander——whoafterwardbecamethesecondemperorofthatname——announcedhisintentionofjoiningtheSt。PetersburgYachtClub，aplanwasimmediatelyformedtoprovideamagnificenttrophyandallowhimtowinit，andtothisplanallthemembersoftheclubagreedexceptBaird。Heatoncesaid:``No;ifthegrandduke’syachtcantakeit，lethimhaveit;ifnot，letthebestyachtwin。
IfIcantakeit，Ishall。’’Itwashopedthathewouldthinkbetterofit，butwhenthedayarrived，theotheryachtshavinggraduallyfallenback，Mr。Bairdcontinuedtheracewiththegranddukeandwon。AsaresulthewasforsomeyearsindisfavorwiththehighofficialssurroundingtheEmperor——adisfavorthatnodoubtcosthimvastsums;buthealwaysassertedthathewasgladhehadinsistedonhisright。