Unwontedsilencereigned。Hetappedonthenurserydoor。Itwasdeserted;hepassedthroughtoNoel’sroom;butthattoowasempty。
Thewardrobestoodopenasifithadbeenhastilyransacked，andherdressing—tablewasbare。Inalarmhewenttothebellandpulleditsharply。Theold—fashionedringofitjingledoutfarbelow。Theparlour—maidcameup。
\"WhereareMissNoelandNurse，Susan？\"
\"Ididn’tknowyouwerein，sir。MissNoelleftmethisnotetogiveyou。They——I——\"
Piersonstoppedherwithhishand。\"Thankyou，Susan;getmesometea，please。\"Withthenoteunopenedinhishand，hewaitedtillshewasgone。Hisheadwasgoinground，andhesatdownonthesideofNoel’sbedtoread:
\"DARLINGDADDY，\"Themanwhocamethismorningtoldmeofwhatisgoingtohappen。I
simplywon’thaveit。I’msendingNurseandbabydowntoKestrelatonce，andgoingtoLeila’sforthenight，untilI’vemadeupmymindwhattodo。Iknewitwasamistakemycomingback。Idon’tcarewhathappenstome，butIwon’thaveyouhurt。Ithinkit’shatefulofpeopletotryandinjureyouformyfault。I’vehadtoborrowmoneyfromSusan—sixpounds。Oh！Daddydear，forgiveme。
\"YourlovingNOLLIE。\"
Hereaditwithunutterablerelief;atalleventsheknewwhereshewas——poor，wilful，rushing，loving—heartedchild;knewwhereshewas，andcouldgetather。Afterhisbathandsometea，hewouldgotoLeila’sandbringherback。PoorlittleNollie，thinkingthatbyjustleavinghishouseshecouldsettlethisdeepmatter！Hedidnothurry，feelingdecidedlyexhausted，anditwasnearlyeightbeforehesetout，leavingamessageforGratian，whodidnotasarulecomeinfromherhospitaltillpastnine。
Thedaywasstillglowing，andnow，inthecoolofevening，hisrefreshedsensessoakedupitsbeauty。’Godhassomadethisworld，’
hethought，’that，nomatterwhatourstrugglesandsufferings，it’severajoytolivewhenthesunshines，orthemoonisbright，orthenightstarry。Evenwecan’tspoilit。’InRegent’sParkthelilacsandlaburnumswerestillinbloomthoughJunehadcome，andhegazedattheminpassing，asalovermightathislady。Hisconscienceprickedhimsuddenly。Mrs。Mitchettandthedark—eyedgirlshehadbroughttohimonNewYear’sEve，theverynighthehadlearnedofhisowndaughter’stragedy——hadheeverthoughtofthemsince？Howhadthatpoorgirlfared？Hehadbeentooimpatientofherimpenetrablemood。Whatdidheknowoftheheartsofothers，whenhedidnotevenknowhisown，couldnotrulehisfeelingsofangerandrevolt，hadnotguidedhisowndaughterintothewatersofsafety！
AndLeila！Hadhenotbeentoocensoriousinthought？Howpowerful，howstrangewasthisinstinctofsex，whichhoveredandswoopedonlives，seizedthem，borethemaway，thendroppedthemexhaustedanddefenceless！Somemunition—wagons，paintedadullgrey，lumberedpast，drivenbysunburnedyouthsindrab。Life—force，Death—force——
wasitallone;thegreatunknowablemomentumfromwhichtherewasbuttheoneescape，inthearmsoftheirHeavenlyFather？Blake’slittleoldstanzascameintohismind:
\"Andweareputonearthalittlespace，Thatwemaylearntobearthebeamsoflove;
AndtheseblackbodiesandthissunburntfaceArebutacloud，andlikeashadygrove。
\"Forwhenoursoulshavelearnedtheheattobear，Thecloudwillvanish，weshallhearHisvoice，Saying:Comeoutfromthegrove，myloveandcare，Androundmygoldententlikelambsrejoice！\"
Learnedtheheattobear！Thoselambshehadwatchedinafieldthatafternoon，theirsuddenlittleleapsandrushes，theirfunnyquiveringwrigglingtails，theirtinynuzzlingblacksnouts——whatlittlemiraclesofcarelessjoyamongthemeadowflowers！Lambs，andflowers，andsunlight！Famine，lust，andthegreatgreyguns！A
maze，awilderness;andbutforfaith，whatissue，whatpathformantotakewhichdidnotkeephimwanderinghopeless，initsthicket？
’Godpreserveourfaithinlove，incharity，andthelifetocome！’
hethought。Andablindmanwithadog，towhoseneckwastiedalittledeepdishforpennies，groundahurdy—gurdyashepassed。
Piersonputashillinginthedish。Themanstoppedplaying，hiswhitisheyeslookedup。\"Thankyoukindly，sir;I’llgohomenow。
Comeon，Dick！\"Hetappedhiswayroundthecorner，withhisdogstraininginfront。Ablackbirdhiddenamongtheblossomsofanacacia，burstintoeveningsong，andanothergreatgreymunition—
wagonrumbledoutthroughtheParkgate。
2
TheChurch—clockwasstrikingninewhenhereachedLeila’sflat，wentup，andknocked。Soundsfrom—apianoceased;thedoorwasopenedbyNoel。Sherecoiledwhenshesawwhoitwas，andsaid:
\"Whydidyoucome，Daddy？Itwasmuchbetternot。\"
\"Areyoualonehere？\"
\"Yes;Leilagavemeherkey。Shehastobeatthehospitaltilltento—night\"
\"Youmustcomehomewithme，mydear。\"
Noelclosedthepiano，andsatdownonthedivan。HerfacehadthesameexpressionaswhenhehadtoldherthatshecouldnotmarryCyrilMorland。
\"Come，Nollie，\"hesaid;\"don’tbeunreasonable。Wemustseethisthroughtogether。\"
\"No。\"
\"Mydear，that’schildish。Doyouthinkthemereaccidentofyourbeingornotbeingathomecanaffectmydecisionastowhatmydutyis？\"
\"Yes;it’smybeingtherethatmatters。Thosepeopledon’tcare，solongasitisn’tanopenscandal\"
\"Nollie！\"
\"Butitisso，Daddy。Ofcourseit’sso，andyouknowit。IfI’mawaythey’lljustpityyouforhavingabaddaughter。Andquiterighttoo。Iamabaddaughter。\"
Piersonsmiled。\"Justlikewhenyouwereatiny。\"
\"IwishIwereatinyagain，ortenyearsolder。It’sthishalfage——ButI’mnotcomingbackwithyou，Daddy;soit’snogood。\"
Piersonsatdownbesideher。
\"I’vebeenthinkingthisoverallday，\"hesaidquietly。\"PerhapsinmyprideImadeamistakewhenIfirstknewofyourtrouble。PerhapsIoughttohaveacceptedtheconsequencesofmyfailure，then，andhavegivenup，andtakenyouawayatonce。Afterall，ifamanisnotfittohavethecareofsouls，heshouldhavethegracetoknowit。\"
\"Butyouarefit，\"criedNoelpassionately;\"Daddy，youarefit！\"
\"I’mafraidnot。Thereissomethingwantinginme，Idon’tknowexactlywhat;butsomethingverywanting。\"
\"Thereisn’t。It’sonlythatyou’retoogood——that’swhy！\"
Piersonshookhishead。\"Don’t，Nollie！\"
\"Iwill，\"criedNoel。\"You’retoogentle，andyou’retoogood。
You’recharitable，andyou’resimple，andyoubelieveinanotherworld;that’swhat’sthematterwithyou，Daddy。Doyouthinktheydo，thosepeoplewhowanttochaseusout？Theydon’tevenbegintobelieve，whatevertheysayorthink。Ihatethem，andsometimesI
hatetheChurch;eitherit’shardandnarrow，orelseit’sworldly。\"
Shestoppedattheexpressiononherfather’sface，themoststrangelookofpain，andhorror，asifanunspokentreacheryofhisownhadbeendraggedforthforhisinspection。
\"You’retalkingwildly，\"hesaid，buthislipsweretrembling。\"Youmustn’tsaythingslikethat;they’reblasphemousandwicked。\"
Noelbitherlips，sittingverystiffandstill，againstahighbluecushion。Thensheburstoutagain:
\"You’veslavedforthosepeopleyearsandyears，andyou’vehadnopleasureandyou’vehadnolove;andtheywouldn’tcarethatifyoubrokeyourheart。Theydon’tcareforanything，solongasitallseemsproper。Daddy，ifyouletthemhurtyou，Iwon’tforgiveyou！\"
\"Andwhatifyouhurtmenow，Nollie？\"
Noelpressedhishandagainstherwarmcheek。
\"Oh，no！Oh，no！Idon’t——Iwon’t。Notagain。I’vedonethatalready。\"
\"Verywell，mydear！thencomehomewithme，andwe’llseewhat’sbesttobedone。Itcan’tbesettledbyrunningaway。\"
Noeldroppedhishand。\"No。TwiceI’vedonewhatyouwanted，andit’sbeenamistake。IfIhadn’tgonetoChurchonSundaytopleaseyou，perhapsitwouldneverhavecometothis。Youdon’tseethings，Daddy。Icouldtell，thoughIwassittingrightinfront。Iknewwhattheirfaceswerelike，andwhattheywerethinking。\"
\"Onemustdoright，Nollie，andnotmind。\"
\"Yes;butwhatisright？It’snotrightformetohurtyou，andI’mnotgoingto。\"
Piersonunderstoodallatoncethatitwasuselesstotryandmoveher。
\"Whatareyougoingtodo，then？\"
\"IsupposeIshallgotoKestrelto—morrow。Auntiewillhaveme，I
know;IshalltalktoLeila。\"
\"Whateveryoudo，promisetoletmeknow。\"
Noelnodded。
\"Daddy，you——lookawfully，awfullytired。I’mgoingtogiveyousomemedicine。\"Shewenttoalittlethree—corneredcupboard，andbentdown。Medicine！Themedicinehewantedwasnotforthebody;
knowledgeofwhathisdutywas——thatalonecouldhealhim！
Theloudpoppingofacorkrousedhim。\"Whatareyoudoing，Nollie？\"
Noelrosewithaflushedface，holdinginonehandaglassofchampagne，intheotherabiscuit。
\"You’retotakethis;andI’mgoingtohavesomemyself。\"
\"Mydear，\"saidPiersonbewildered;\"it’snotyours。\"
\"Drinkit;Daddy！Don’tyouknowthatLeilawouldneverforgivemeifIletyougohomelookinglikethat。Besides，shetoldmeIwastoeat。Drinkit。Youcansendheranicepresent。Drinkit！\"Andshestampedherfoot。
Piersontooktheglass，andsattherenibblingandsipping。Itwasnice，very！Hehadnotquiterealisedhowmuchheneededfoodanddrink。Noelreturnedfromthecupboardasecondtime;shetoohadaglassandabiscuit。
\"There，youlookbetteralready。Nowyou’retogohomeatonce，inacabifyoucangetone;andtellGratiantomakeyoufeedup，oryouwon’thaveabodyatall;youcan’tdoyourdutyifyouhaven’tone，youknow。\"
Piersonsmiled，andfinishedthechampagne。
Noeltooktheglassfromhim。\"You’remychildto—night，andI’mgoingtosendyoutobed。Don’tworry，Daddy;it’llallcomeright。\"
And，takinghisarm，shewentdownstairswithhim，andblewhimakissfromthedoorway。
Hewalkedawayinasortofdream。Daylightwasnotquitegone，butthemoonwasup，justpastitsfull，andthesearch—lightshadbeguntheirnightlywanderings。Itwasaskyofghostsandshadows，fittingtothethoughtwhichcametohim。ThefingerofProvidencewasinallthis，perhaps！WhyshouldhenotgoouttoFrance！Atlast;whynot？Somebetterman，whounderstoodmen’shearts，whoknewtheworld，wouldtakehisplace;andhecouldgowheredeathmadeallthingssimple，andhecouldnotfail。Hewalkedfasterandfaster，fullofanintoxicatingrelief。ThirzaandGratianwouldtakecareofNolliefarbetterthanhe。Yes，surelyitwasordained！
Moonlighthadthetownnow;andallwassteelblue，theveryairsteel—blue;adream—cityofmarvellousbeauty，throughwhichhepassed，exalted。Soonhewouldbewherethatpoorboy，andamillionothers，hadgiventheirlives;withthemudandtheshellsandthescarredgreyground，andthejaggedtrees，whereChristwasdailycrucified——therewherehehadsooftenlongedtobethesethreeyearspast。Itwasordained！
Andtwowomenwhomhemetlookedateachotherwhenhehadgoneby，andthosewords’theblightedcrow’whichtheyhadbeenabouttospeak，diedontheirlips。
VIII
Noelfeltlight—heartedtoo，asifshehadwonavictory。Shefoundsomepottedmeat，spreaditonanotherbiscuit，ateitgreedily，andfinishedthepintbottleofchampagne。Thenshehuntedforthecigarettes，andsatdownatthepiano。Sheplayedoldtunes——\"ThereisaTavernintheTown，\"\"OnceILovedaMaidenFair，\"\"MowingtheBarley，\"\"Clementine，\"\"Lowlands，\"andsangtothemsuchwordsassheremembered。Therewasadeliciousrunninginherveins，andonceshegotupanddanced。Shewaskneelingatthewindow，lookingout，whensheheardthedooropen，andwithoutgettingup，criedout:
\"Isn’titagorgeousnight！I’vehadDaddyhere。Igavehimsomeofyourchampagne，anddranktherest——\"thenwasconsciousofafigurefartootallforLeila，andaman’svoicesaying:
\"I’mawfullysorry。It’sonlyI，JimmyFort。\"
Noelscrambledup。\"Leilaisn’tin;butshewillbedirectly——it’spastten。\"
Hewasstandingstock—stillinthemiddleoftheroom。
\"Won’tyousitdown？Oh！andwon’tyouhaveacigarette？\"
\"Thanks。\"
Bytheflashofhisbriquetteshesawhisfaceclearly;thelookonitfilledherwithasortofmaliciousglee。
\"I’mgoingnow，\"shesaid。\"WouldyoumindtellingLeilathatI
foundIcouldn’tstop？\"Shemadetowardsthedivantogetherhat。
Whenshehadputiton，shefoundhimstandingjustinfrontofher。
\"Noel—ifyoudon’tmindmecallingyouthat？\"
\"Notabit。\"
\"Don’tgo;I’mgoingmyself。\"
\"Oh，no！Notforworlds。\"Shetriedtoslippast，buthetookholdofherwrist。
\"Please;justoneminute！\"
Noelstayedmotionless，lookingathim，whilehishandstillheldherwrist。Hesaidquietly:
\"Doyoumindtellingmewhyyoucamehere？\"
\"Oh，justtoseeLeila。\"
\"Thingshavecometoaheadathome，haven’tthey？\"
Noelshruggedhershoulders。
\"Youcameforrefuge，didn’tyou？\"
\"Fromwhom？\"
\"Don’tbeangry;fromtheneedofhurtingyourfather。\"
Shenodded。
\"Iknewitwouldcometothat。Whatareyougoingtodo？\"
\"Enjoymyself。\"Shewassayingsomethingfatuous，yetshemeantit。
\"That’sabsurd。Don’tbeangry！You’requiteright。Only，youmustbeginattherightend，mustn’tyou？Sitdown！\"
Noeltriedtofreeherwrist。
\"No;sitdown，please。\"
Noelsatdown;butasheloosedherwrist，shelaughed。ThiswaswherehesatwithLeila，wheretheywouldsitwhenshewasgone。
\"It’sawfullyfunny，isn’tit？\"shesaid。
\"Funny？\"hemutteredsavagely。\"Mostthingsare，inthisfunnyworld。\"
Thesoundofataxistoppingnotfaroffhadcometoherears，andshegatheredherfeetunderher，plantingthemfirmly。Ifshesprangup，couldsheslipbyhimbeforehecaughtherarmagain，andgetthattaxi？
\"IfIgonow，\"hesaid，\"willyoupromisemetostoptillyou’veseenLeila？\"
\"No。\"
\"That’sfoolish。Come，promise！\"
Noelshookherhead。Shefeltaperversepleasureathisembarrassment。
\"Leila’slucky，isn’tshe？Nochildren，nohusband，nofather，noanything。Lovely！\"
Shesawhisarmgoupasiftowardoffablow。\"PoorLeila！\"hesaid。
\"Whyareyousorryforher？Shehasfreedom！Andshehasyou！\"
Sheknewitwouldhurt;butshewantedtohurthim。
\"Youneedn’tenvyherforthat。\"
Hehadjustspoken，whenNoelsawafigureoverbythedoor。
Shejumpedup，andsaidbreathlessly:
\"Oh，hereyouare，Leila！Father’sbeenhere，andwe’vehadsomeofyourchampagne！\"
\"Capital！Youareinthedark！\"
Noelfeltthebloodrushintohercheeks。Thelightleapedup，andLeilacameforward。Shelookedextremelypale，calm，andself—
contained，inhernurse’sdress;herfulllipsweretightlypressedtogether，butNoelcouldseeherbreastheavingviolently。Aturmoilofshameandwoundedpridebeganraginginthegirl。Whyhadshenotflownlongago？Whyhadsheletherselfbetrappedlikethis？Leilawouldthinkshehadbeenmakinguptohim！Horrible！Disgusting！
Whydidn’the——whydidn’tsomeone，speak？ThenLeilasaid:
\"Ididn’texpectyou，Jimmy;I’mgladyouhaven’tbeendull。Noelisstayinghereto—night。Givemeacigarette。Sitdown，bothofyou。
I’mawfullytired！\"
Shesankintoachair，leaningback，withherkneescrossed;andatthatmomentNoeladmiredher。Shehadsaiditbeautifully;shelookedsocalm。Fortwaslightinghercigarette;hishandwasshaking，hisfaceallsorryandmortified。
\"GiveNoelone，too，anddrawthecurtains，Jimmy。Quick！Notthatitmakesanydifference;it’saslightasday。Sitdown，dear。\"
ButNoelremainedstanding。
\"Whathaveyoubeentalkingof？LoveandChineselanterns，oronlyme？\"
AtthosewordsFort，whowasdrawingthelastcurtain，turnedround;
histallfigurewaspoisedawkwardlyagainstthewall，hisface，unsuitedtodiplomacy，hadalookasoffleshbeingbeaten。Ifwealshadstartedupacrossit，Noelwouldnothavebeensurprised。
Hesaidwithpainfulslowness:
\"Idon’texactlyknow;wehadhardlybegun，hadwe？\"
\"Thenightisyoung，\"saidLeila。\"GoonwhileIjusttakeoffmythings。\"
Sherosewiththecigarettebetweenherlips，andwentintotheinnerroom。Inpassing，shegaveNoelalook。Whattherewasinthatlook，thegirlcouldnevermakecleareventoherself。Perhapsacreatureshotwouldgazelikethat，withasortofprofoundanddistantquestioning，reproach，andanger，withasortofpride，andthequiverofdeath。Asthedoorclosed，Fortcamerightacrosstheroom。
\"Gotoher;\"criedNoel;\"shewantsyou。Can’tyousee，shewantsyou？\"
Andbeforehecouldmove，shewasatthedoor。Sheflewdownstairs，andoutintothemoonlight。Thetaxi，alittlewayoff，wasjustbeginningtomoveaway;sherantowardsit，callingout:
\"Anywhere！Piccadilly！\"andjumpingin，blottedherselfagainstthecushionsinthefarcorner。
Shedidnotcometoherself，asitwere，forseveralminutes，andthenfeelingshe’couldnolongerbearthecab，stoppedit，andgotout。Wherewasshe？BondStreet！Shebegan，idly，wanderingdownitsnarrowlength;thefulleststreetbyday，theemptiestbynight。
Oh！ithadbeenhorrible！Nothingsaidbyanyofthem——nothing，andyeteverythingdraggedout——ofhim，ofLeila，ofherself！Sheseemedtohavenoprideordecencyleft，asifshehadbeencaughtstealing。
Allherhappyexhilarationwasgone，leavingamiserablerecklessness。Nothingshedidwasright，nothingturnedoutwell，sowhatdiditallmatter？Themoonlightfloodingdownbetweenthetallhousesgaveherapeculiarheadyfeeling。\"Fey\"herfatherhadcalledher。Shelaughed。’ButI’mnotgoinghome，’shethought。
Boredwiththestreet’slength;sheturnedoff，andwassuddenlyinHanoverSquare。TherewastheChurch，grey—white，whereshehadbeenbridesmaidtoasecondcousin，whenshewasfifteen。Sheseemedtoseeitallagain——herfrock，theliliesinherhand，thesurplicesofthechoir，thebride’sdress，allmoonlight—coloured，andunreal。
’Iwonderwhat’sbecomeofher！’shethought。’He’sdead，Iexpect，likeCyril！’Shesawherfather’sfaceashewasmarryingthem，heardhisvoice:\"Forbetter，forworse，forricher，forpoorer，insicknessandinhealth，tilldeathdoyoupart。\"AndthemoonlightontheChurchseemedtoshiftandquiver—somepigeonsperhapshadbeendisturbedupthere。Theninsteadofthatweddingvision，shesawMonsieurBarra，sittingonhischair，gazingatthefloor，andChicanursingherdoll。\"Allmad，mademoiselle，alittlemad。
Millionsofmenwithwhitesouls，butallalittletinybitmad，youknow。\"ThenLeila’sfacecamebeforeher，withthatlookinhereyes。ShefeltagainthehotclaspofFort’sfingersonherwrist，andwalkedon，rubbingitwiththeotherhand。SheturnedintoRegentStreet。ThewidecurveoftheQuadrantsweptintoaskyofunrealblue，andtheorange—shadedlampsmerelyaddedtotheunreality。’LoveandChineselanterns！Ishouldlikesomecoffee，’
shethoughtsuddenly。ShewasquiteclosetotheplacewhereLavendiehadtakenher。Shouldshegointhere？Whynot？Shemustgosomewhere。Sheturnedintotherevolvingcageofglass。ButnosoonerwassheimprisonedtherethaninaflashLavendie’sfaceofdisgust;andthered—lippedwomen，thegreenstuffthatsmelledofpeppermintcameback，fillingherwitharushofdismay。Shemadethefullcircleintherevolvingcage;andcameoutintothestreetagainwithalaugh。Atallyoungmaninkhakistoodthere:\"Hallo！\"
hesaid。\"Comeinanddance！\"Shestarted，recoiledfromhimandbegantowalkawayasfastasevershecould。Shepassedawomanwhoseeyesseemedtoscorchher。Awomanlikeaswiftvisionofruinwiththoseeyes，andthicklypowderedcheeks，andlooseredmouth。
Noelshudderedandfledalong，feelingthatheronlysafetylayinspeed。Butshecouldnotwalkaboutallnight。TherewouldbenotrainforKestreltillthemorning——anddidshereallywanttogothere，andeatherheartout？SuddenlyshethoughtofGeorge。Whyshouldshenotgodowntohim？Hewouldknowwhatwasbestforhertodo。AtthefootofthestepsbelowtheWaterlooColumnshestoodstill。Allwasquietthereandempty，thegreatbuildingswhitened，thetreesblurredandblue;andsweeterairwascomingacrosstheirfloweringtops。Thequeer\"fey\"moonysensationwasstillwithher;
sothatshefeltsmallandlight，asifshecouldhavefloatedthrougharing。FaintrimsoflightshowedroundthewindowsoftheAdmiralty。Thewar！Howeverlovelythenight，howeversweetthelilacsmelt—thatneverstopped！Sheturnedawayandpassedoutunderthearch，makingforthestation。Thetrainofthewoundedhadjustcomein，andshestoodinthecheeringcrowdwatchingtheambulancesrunout。Tearsofexcitedemotionfilledhereyes，andtrickleddown。Steady，smooth，grey，oneaftertheothertheycamegliding，withalittleburstofcheersgreetingeachone。Allweregonenow，andshecouldpassin。Shewenttothebuffetandgotalargecupofcoffee，andabun。Then，havingnotedthetimeofherearlymorningtrain，shesoughttheladies’waiting—room，andsittingdowninacorner，tookoutherpurseandcountedhermoney。Twopoundsfifteen—enoughtogotothehotel，ifsheliked。But，withoutluggage——itwassoconspicuous，andshecouldsleepinthiscornerallright，ifshewanted。Whatdidgirlsdowhohadnomoney，andnofriendstogoto？Tuckedawayinthecornerofthatempty，heavy，varnishedroom，sheseemedtoseethecrueltyandhardnessoflifeasshehadneverbeforeseenit，notevenwhenfacingherconfinement。
Howluckyshehadbeen，andwas！Everyonewasgoodtoher。Shehadnorealwantordangers，toface。But，forwomen——yes，andmentoo——
whohadnoonetofallbackon，nothingbuttheirownhandsandhealthandluck，itmustbeawful。Thatgirlwhoseeyeshadscorchedher——perhapsshehadnoone——nothing。Andpeoplewhowerebornill，andthemillionsofpoorwomen，likethosewhomshehadgonevisitingwithGratiansometimesinthepoorerstreetsofherfather’sparish——
forthefirsttimesheseemedtoreallyknowandfeelthesortoflivestheyled。Andthen，Leila’sfacecamebacktoheroncemore——
Leilawhomshehadrobbed。Andtheworstofitwas，that，alongsideherremorsefulsympathy，shefeltasortofsatisfaction。ShecouldnothelphisnotlovingLeila，shecouldnothelpitifhelovedherself！Andhedid——sheknewit！Tofeelthatanyonelovedherwassocomforting。Butitwasallawful！Andshe——thecauseofit！Andyet——shehadneverdoneorsaidanythingtoattracthim。No！Shecouldnothavehelpedit。
Shehadbeguntofeeldrowsy，andclosedhereyes。Andgraduallytherecameonheracoseysensation，asifshewereleaningupagainstsomeonewithherheadtuckedinagainsthisshoulder，asshehadsooftenleanedasachildagainstherfather，comingbackfromsomelongdarkeningdriveinWalesorScotland。SheseemedeventofeelthewetsoftWesterlyaironherfaceandeyelids，andtosniffthescentofafriezecoat;tohearthejogofhoofsandtherollingofthewheels;tofeeltheclosinginofthedarkness。Then，sodimlyanddrowsily，sheseemedtoknowthatitwasnotherfather，butsomeone——someone——thennomore，nomoreatall。