\"I\'vereadbits,andlikethemtheyaresooriginalandfreshandsometimesdroll,\"saidRose,smilingtoseewhatnaturalandappropriatemarksofapprobationtheelementsseemedtosetuponthepagesMacwasturningeagerly,foronehadevidentlybeenrainedon,acrushedberrystainedanother,someappreciativefield—mouseorsquirrelhadnibbledonecorner,andthecoverwasfadedwiththesunshine,whichseemedtohavefilteredthroughtothethoughtswithin。
\"Here\'sacharacteristicbitforyou:\'Iwouldrathersitonapumpkin,andhaveitalltomyself,thanbecrowdedonavelvetcushion。Iwouldratherrideonearthinanoxcart,withfreecirculation,thangotoheaveninthefancycarofanexcursiontrain,andbreathemalariaalltheway。\'
\"I\'vetriedbothandquiteagreewithhim,\"laughedMac,andskimmingdownanotherpage,gaveheraparagraphhereandthere。
\"\'Readthebestbooksfirst,oryoumaynothaveachancetoreadthematall。\'
\"\'Wedonotlearnmuchfromlearnedbooks,butfromsincerehumanbooks:
frank,honestbiographies。\'
\"\'Atleastletushavehealthybooks。Letthepoetbeasvigorousasthesugarmaple,withsapenoughtomaintainhisownverdure,besideswhatrunsintothetrough;andnotlikeavinewhich,beingcutinthespring,bearsnofruit,butbleedstodeathintheendeavortohealitswounds。\'
\"
\"Thatwilldoforyou,\"saidRose,stillthinkingofthenewsuspicionwhichpleasedherbyitsveryimprobability。
Macflashedaquicklookatherandshutthebook,sayingquietly,althoughhiseyesshone,andaconscioussmilelurkedabouthismouth:\"Weshallsee,andnooneneedmeddle,for,asmyThoreausays,\"Whate\'erweleavetoGod,GoddoesAndblessesus:
TheworkwechooseshouldbeourownGodletsalone。\"Rosesatsilent,asifconsciousthatshedeservedhispoeticalreproof。
\"Come,youhavecatechizedmeprettywell;nowI\'lltakemyturnandaskyouwhyyoulook\'uplifted,\'asyoucallit。Whathaveyoubeendoingtomakeyourselfmorelikeyournamesakethanever？\"askedMac,carryingwarintotheenemy\'scampwiththesuddenquestion。
\"Nothingbutlive,andenjoydoingit。Iactuallysithere,dayafterday,ashappyandcontentedwithlittlethingsasDulceisandfeelasifIwasn\'tmucholderthanshe,\"answeredthegirl,feelingasifsomechangewasgoingoninthatpleasantsortofpausebutunabletodescribeit。\"Asifaroseshouldshutandbeabudagain,\"
murmuredMac,borrowingfromhisbelovedKeats。
\"Ah,butIcan\'tdothat！ImustgoonbloomingwhetherIlikeitornot,andtheonlytroubleIhaveistoknowwhatleafIoughttounfoldnext,\"saidRose,playfullysmoothingoutthewhitegown,inwhichshelookedverylikeadaisyamongthegreen。
\"Howfarhaveyougot？\"askedMac,continuinghiscatechismasifthefancysuitedhim。
\"Letmesee。SinceIcamehomelastyear,I\'vebeengay,thensad,thenbusy,andnowIamsimplyhappy。Idon\'tknowwhy,butseemtobewaitingforwhatistocomenextandgettingreadyforit,perhapsunconsciously,\"
shesaid,lookingdreamilyawaytothehillsagain,isifthenewexperiencewascomingtoherfromafar。
Macwatchedherthoughtfullyforaminute,wonderinghowmanymoreleavesmustunfoldbeforethegoldenheartofthishumanflowerwouldlieopentothesun。Hefeltacuriousdesiretohelpinsomeway,andcouldthinkofnonebetterthantoofferherwhathehadfoundmosthelpfultohimself。
Pickingupanotherbook,heopeneditataplacewhereanoakleaflayand,handingittoher,said,asifpresentingsomethingveryexcellentandprecious:\"Ifyouwanttobereadytotakewhatevercomesinabraveandnobleway,readthat,andtheonewherethepageisturneddown。\"
Rosetookit,sawthewords\"Self—Reliance,\"
andturningtheleaves,readhereandthereapassagewhichwasmarked:
\"\'Mylifeisforitself,andnotforaspectacle。\'
\"\'Insistonyourself:neverimitate。Thatwhicheachcandobest,nonebuthisMakercanteachhim。\'
\"\'Dothatwhichisassignedtoyou,andyoucannothopeordaretoomuch。\'\"
Then,comingtothefoldedpage,whosetitlewas\"Heroism,\"sheread,andbrightenedassheread:
\"\'Letthemaiden,witherectsoul,walkserenelyonherway;acceptthehintofeachnewexperience;searchinturnalltheobjectsthatsolicithereye,thatshemaylearnthepowerandthecharmofhernewbornbeing。\'
\"\'Thefairgirlwhorepelsinterferencebyadecidedandproudchoiceofinfluencesinspireseverybeholderwithsomethingofherownnobleness;
andthesilentheartencouragesher。Ofriend,neverstrikesailtoafear！
Comeintoportgreatly,orsailwithGodtheseas。\'\"
\"Youunderstandthat,don\'tyou？\"askedMacassheglancedupwiththelookofonewhohadfoundsomethingsuitedtohertasteandneed。
\"Yes,butIneverdaredtoreadtheseEssays,becauseIthoughttheyweretoowiseforme。\"
\"Thewisestthingsaresometimesthesimplest,Ithink。Everyonewelcomeslightandair,andcannotdowithoutthem,yetveryfewcouldexplainthemtruly。Idon\'taskyoutoreadorunderstandallofthatdon\'tmyselfbutIdorecommendthetwoessaysI\'vemarked,aswellas\'Love\'
and\'Friendship。\'
Trythem,andletmeknowhowtheysuit。I\'llleaveyouthebook。\"
\"Thanks。Iwantedsomethingfinetoreaduphereand,judgingbywhatIsee,Ifancythiswillsuit。OnlyAuntJessiemaythinkI\'mputtingonairsifItryEmerson。\"
\"Whyshouldshe？Hehasdonemoretosetyoungmenandwomenthinkingthananymaninthiscenturyatleast。Don\'tyoubeafraidifitiswhatyouwant,takeit,andgoaheadashetellsyou\"Withouthalting,withoutrest,LiftingBetteruptoBest。\"\"I\'lltry,\"saidRosemeekly,feelingthatMachadbeengoingaheadhimselfmuchfasterthanshehadanysuspicion。
Hereavoiceexclaimed\"Hallo！\"and,lookingaround,Jamiewasdiscoveredsurveyingthemcriticallyashestoodinanindependentattitude,likeasmallColossusofRhodesinbrownlinen,withabundleofmolassescandyinonehand,severalnewfishhookscherishedcarefullyintheother,andhishatwellonthebackofhishead,displayingasmanyfrecklesasonesomewhatlimitednosecouldreasonablyaccommodate。
\"Howareyou,youngone？\"saidMac,nodding。
\"Tip—top。Gladit\'syou。ThoughtArchiemighthaveturnedupagain,andhe\'snofun。Wheredidyoucomefrom？Whatdidyoucomefor？Howlongareyougoingtostay？Wantabit？It\'sjollygood。\"
WithwhichvariedremarksJamieapproached,shookhandsinamanlyway,and,sittingdownbesidehislongcousin,hospitablyofferedsticksofcandyallaround。
\"Didyougetanyletters？\"askedRose,decliningthestickytreat。
\"Lots,butMamaforgottogive\'emtome,andIwasratherinahurry,forMrs。AtkinsonsaidsomebodyhadcomeandIcouldn\'twait,\"explainedJamie,reposingluxuriouslywithhisheadonMac\'slegsandhismouthfull。
\"I\'llstepandgetthem。Auntymustbetired,andweshouldenjoyreadingthenewstogether。\"
\"Sheisthemostconvenientgirlthateverwas,\"observedJamieasRosedeparted,thinkingMacmightlikesomemoresubstantialrefreshmentthansweetmeats。
\"Ishouldthinkso,ifyouletherrunyourerrands,youlazylittlescamp,\"answeredMac,lookingafterherasshewentupthegreenslope,fortherewassomethingveryattractivetohimabouttheslenderfigureinaplainwhitegownwithablacksashaboutthewaistandallthewavyhairgatheredtothetopoftheheadwithalittleblackbow。
\"Sortofpre—Raphaelite,andquiterefreshingafterthefurbelowedcreaturesatthehotels,\"hesaidtohimselfasshevanishedunderthearchofscarletrunnersoverthegardengate。
\"Oh,well！Shelikesit。Roseisfondofme,andI\'mverygoodtoherwhenIhavetime,\"continuedJamie,calmlyexplaining。\"Ilethercutoutafishhook,whenitcaughtinmyleg,withasharppenknife,andyou\'dbetterbelieveithurt,butIneversquirmedabit,andshesaidIwasabraveboy。Andthen,onedayIgotleftonmydesertislandoutinthepond,youknowtheboatfloatedoff,andthereIwasforasmuchasanhourbeforeIcouldmakeanyonehear。ButRosethoughtImightbethere,anddownshecame,andtoldmetoswimashore。Itwasn\'tfar,butthewaterwashorridcold,andIdidn\'tlikeit。Istartedthough,justasshesaid,andgotonallright,tillabouthalfway,thencramporsomethingmademeshutupandhowl,andshecameaftermeslapdash,andpulledmeashore。Yes,sir,aswetasaturtle,andlookedsofunny,Ilaughed,andthatcuredthecramp。Wasn\'tIgoodtomindwhenshesaid,\'Comeon\'？\"
\"Shewas,todiveaftersuchascapegrace。Iguessyouleadheralifeofit,andI\'dbettertakeyouhomewithmeinthemorning,\"suggestedMac,rollingtheboyoverandgivinghimagood—naturedpummelingonthehaycockwhileDulceapplaudedfromhernest。
WhenRosereturnedwithice—coldmilk,gingerbread,andletters,shefoundthereaderofEmersonupinthetree,peltingandbeingpeltedwithgreenapplesasJamievainlyendeavoredtogetathim。ThesiegeendedwhenAuntJessieappeared,andtherestoftheafternoonwasspentinchatabouthomeaffairs。
EarlythenextmorningMacwasoff,andRosewentasfarastheoldchurchwithhim。
\"Shallyouwalkalltheway？\"sheaskedashestrodealongbesideherinthedewyfreshnessoftheyoungday。
\"Onlyabouttwentymiles,thentakecarandwhiskbacktomywork,\"
heanswered,breakingadelicatefernforher。
\"Areyouneverlonely？\"
\"Never。Itakemybestfriendsalong,youknow,\"andhegaveaslaptothepocketfromwhichpeepedthevolumeofThoreau。
\"I\'mafraidyouleaveyourverybestbehindyou,\"saidRose,alludingtothebookhehadlentheryesterday。
\"I\'mgladtoshareitwithyou。Ihavemuchofithere,andalittlegoesagreatway,asyouwillsoondiscover,\"heanswered,tappinghishead。
\"Ihopethereadingwilldoasmuchformeasitseemstohavedoneforyou。I\'mhappy,butyouarewiseandgoodIwanttobealso。\"
\"Readaway,anddigestitwell,thenwriteandtellmewhatyouthinkofit。Willyou？\"heaskedastheypausedwherethefourroadsmet。
\"Ifyouwillanswer。Shallyouhavetimewithallyourotherwork？PoetryI
begpardonmedicineisveryabsorbing,youknow,\"answeredRosemischievously,forjustthen,ashestoodbareheadedintheshadowsoftheleavesplayingoverhisfineforehead,sherememberedthechatamongthehaycocks,andhedidnotlookatalllikeanM。D。
\"I\'llmaketime。\"
\"Good—bye,Milton。\"
\"Good—bye,Sabrina。\"Chapter18。Chapter18。18WHICHWASIT？Rosedidreadanddigest,andfoundherdaysmuchricherforthegoodcompanyshekept,foranintroductiontosomuchthatwaswise,beautiful,andtruecouldnotbutmakethatmonthamemorableone。Itisnotstrangethatwhiletheyoungmanmostadmired\"Heroism\"and\"Self—Reliance,\"thegirlpreferred\"Love\"and\"Friendship,\"readingthemoverandoverlikeprosepoems,astheyare,tothefittingaccompanimentofsunshine,solitude,andsympathy,forletterswenttoandfrowithpraiseworthyregularity。
Rosemuchenjoyedthiscorrespondence,andfoundherselfregrettingthatitwasatanendwhenshewenthomeinSeptember,forMacwrotebetterthanhetalked,thoughhecoulddothatremarkablywellwhenhechose。
Butshehadnochancetoexpresseitherpleasureorregret,forthefirsttimeshesawhimafterherreturnthegreatchangeinhisappearancemadeherforgeteverythingelse。Somewhimhadseizedhimtobeshavenandshorn,andwhenhepresentedhimselftowelcomeRose,shehardlyknewhim。Theshaggyhairwasnicelytrimmedandbrushed,thecherishedbrownbeardentirelygone,showingawell—cutmouthandhandsomechinandgivinganewexpressiontothewholeface。
\"AreyoutryingtolooklikeKeats？\"sheasked,afteracriticalglance,whichleftherundecidedwhetherthechangewasanimprovementornot。
\"IamtryingnottolooklikeUncle,\"answeredMaccoolly。
\"Andwhy,ifyouplease？\"demandedRoseingreatsurprise。
\"BecauseIprefertolooklikemyself,andnotresembleanyotherman,nomatterhowgoodorgreathemaybe。\"
\"Youhaven\'tsucceededthen,foryoulooknowverymuchliketheyoungAugustus,\"returnedRose,ratherpleasedonthewholetoseewhatafinelyshapedheadappearedaftertheroughthatchwasoff。
\"Trustawomantofindacomparisonforeverythingunderthesun！\"laughedMac,notatallflatteredbytheonejustmade。\"Whatdoyouthinkofme,onthewhole？\"heaskedaminutelater,ashefoundRosestillscrutinizinghimwithameditativeair。
\"Haven\'tmadeupmymind。Itissuchanentirechange,Idon\'tknowyou,andfeelasifIoughttobeintroduced。Youcertainlylookmuchmoretidy,andIfancyIshalllikeitwhenI\'musedtoseeingasomewhatdistinguished—lookingmanaboutthehouseinsteadofmyoldfriendOrson,\"
answeredRose,withherheadononesidetogetaprofileview。
\"Don\'ttellUnclewhyIdidit,pleasehethinksitwasforthesakeofcoolnessandlikesit,sotakenonotice。Theyareallusedtomenow,anddon\'tmind,\"saidMac,rovingabouttheroomasifratherashamedofhiswhimafterall。
\"No,Iwon\'t,butyoumustn\'tmindifI\'mnotassociableasusualforawhile。Inevercanbewithstrangers,andyoureallydoseemlikeone。
Thatwillbeapunishmentforyourwantoftasteandloveoforiginality,\"
returnedRose,resolvedtopunishhimfortheslightputuponherbeloveduncle。
\"Asyoulike。Iwon\'ttroubleyoumuchanyway,forI\'mgoingtobeverybusy。MaygotoL？thiswinter,ifUnclethinksbest,andthenmy\'originality\'
can\'tannoyyou。\"
\"Ihopeyouwon\'tgo。Why,Mac,I\'mjustgettingtoknowandenjoyyou,andthoughtwe\'dhaveanicetimethiswinterreadingsomethingtogether。
Mustyougo？\"AndRoseseemedtoforgethisstrangeness,assheheldhimstillbyonebuttonwhileshetalked。
\"Thatwouldbenice。ButIfeelasifImustgomyplansareallmade,andI\'vesetmyheartonit,\"answeredMac,lookingsoeagerthatRosereleasedhim,sayingsadly:\"Isupposeitisnaturalforyoualltogetrestlessandpushoff,butitishardformetoletyougooneaftertheotherandstayherealone。Charlieisgone,ArchieandStevearewrappedupintheirsweethearts,theboysaway,andonlyJamieleftto\'playwithRose。\'\"
\"ButI\'llcomeback,andyou\'llbegladIwentifIbringyoumy\"
beganMacwithsuddenanimation,thenstoppedabruptlytobitehislips,asifhehadnearlysaidtoomuch。
\"Yourwhat？\"askedRosecuriously,forheneitherlookednoractedlikehimself。
\"Iforgothowlongittakestogetadiploma,\"hesaid,walkingawayagain。
\"Therewillbeonecomfortifyougoyou\'llseePhebeandcantellmeallabouther,forsheissomodest,shedoesn\'thalfdoit。Ishallwanttoknowhowshegetson,ifsheisengagedtosingballadsintheconcertstheytalkoffornextwinter。Youwillwrite,won\'tyou？\"
\"Oh,yes！Nodoubtofthat,\"andMaclaughedlowtohimselfashestoopedtolookatthelittlePsycheonthemantelpiece。\"Whataprettythingitis！\"headdedsoberlyashetookitup。
\"Becareful。UnclegaveittomelastNewYear,andI\'mveryfondofit。SheisjustliftingherlamptoseewhatCupidislike,forshehasn\'tseenhimyet,\"saidRose,busyputtingherworktableinorder。
\"YououghttohaveaCupidforhertolookat。Shehasbeenwaitingpatientlyawholeyear,withnothingbutabronzelizardinsight,\"saidMacwiththehalf—shy,half—daringlookwhichwassonewandpuzzling。
\"Cupidfledawayassoonasshewokehim,youknow,andshehadabadtimeofit。Shemustwaitlongertillshecanfindandkeephim。\"
\"Doyouknowshelookslikeyou？Hairtiedupinaknot,andaspiritualsortofface。Don\'tyouseeit？\"askedMac,turningthegracefullittlefiguretowardher。
\"Notabitofit。IwonderwhomIshallresemblenext！I\'vebeencomparedtoaFraAngelicoangel,SaintAgnes,andnow\'Syke,\'asAnnabeloncecalledher。\"
\"You\'dseewhatImean,ifyou\'deverwatchedyourownfacewhenyouwerelisteningtomusic,talkingearnestly,ormuchmoved,thenyoursoulgetsintoyoureyesandyouarelikePsyche。\"
\"Tellmethenexttimeyouseemeina\'soulful\'state,andI\'lllookintheglass,forI\'dliketoseeifitisbecoming,\"saidRosemerrilyasshesortedhergayworsteds。\"Yourfeetinthefull—growngrasses,Movedsoftasasoftwindblows;
YoupassedmeasAprilpasses,Withafacemadeoutofarose,\"murmuredMacunderhisbreath,thinkingofthewhitefiguregoingupagreenslopeonesummerday;then,asifchidinghimselfforsentimentality,hesetPsychedownwithgreatcareandbegantotalkaboutacourseofsolidreadingforthewinter。
Afterthat,Rosesawverylittleofhimforseveralweeks,asheseemedtobemakingupforlosttimeandwasmoreoddandabsentthaneverwhenhedidappear。
Asshebecameaccustomedtothechangeinhisexternalappearance,shediscoveredthathewasalteringfastinotherwaysandwatchedthe\"distinguished—lookinggentleman\"withmuchinterest,sayingtoherself,whenshesawanewsortofdignityabouthimalternatingwithanunusualrestlessnessofmanner,andnowandthenatouchofsentiment,\"Geniusissimmering,justasI
predicted。\"
Asthefamilywereinmourning,therewerenofestivitiesonRose\'stwenty—firstbirthday,thoughtheboyshadplannedallsortsofrejoicings。
Everyonefeltparticularlytendertowardtheirgirlonthatday,rememberinghow\"poorCharlie\"hadlovedher,andtheytriedtoshowitinthegiftsandgoodwishestheysenther。Shefoundhersanctumallaglowwithautumnleaves,andonhertablesomanyrareandprettythings,shequiteforgotshewasanheiressandonlyfelthowrichshewasinlovingfriends。
Onegiftgreatlypleasedher,thoughshecouldnothelpsmilingatthesourcefromwhenceitcame,forMacsentheraCupidnotthechubbychildwithafaceofnaughtymerriment,butaslender,wingedyouthleaningonhisunstrungbow,withabrokenarrowathisfeet。Apoem,\"ToPsyche,\"
camewithit,andRosewasmuchsurprisedatthebeautyofthelines,for,insteadofbeingwitty,complimentary,orgay,therewassomethingnoblerthanmeresentimentinthem,andthesweetoldfablelivedagaininlanguagewhichfitlypaintedthemaidenSoullookingforaLoveworthytopossessit。
Rosereadthemoverandoverasshesatamongthegoldandscarletleaveswhichglorifiedherlittleroom,andeachtimefoundnewdepthandbeautyinthem,lookingfromthewordsthatmademusicinhereartothelovelyshapesthatspokewiththeirmutegracetohereye。Thewholethingsuitedherexactly,itwassodelicateandperfectinitsway,forshewastiredofcostlygiftsandvaluedverymuchthisproofofhercousin\'stasteandtalent,seeingnothinginitbutanaffectionatedesiretopleaseher。
Alltherestdroppedinatintervalsthroughthedaytosayalovingword,andlastofallcameMac。RosehappenedtobealonewithDulce,enjoyingasplendidsunsetfromherwesternwindow,forOctobergaveherchildabeautifulgoodnight。
Roseturnedaroundasheenteredand,puttingdownthelittlegirl,wenttohimwiththeeveningredshiningonherhappyfaceasshesaidgratefully:\"DearMac,itwassolovely！Idon\'tknowhowtothankyouforitinanywaybutthis。\"And,drawingdownhistallhead,shegavehimthebirthdaykissshehadgivenalltheothers。
Butthistimeitproducedasingulareffect,forMacturnedscarlet,thengrewpale,andwhenRoseaddedplayfully,thinkingtorelievetheshynessofsoyoungapoet,\"Neveragainsayyoudon\'twritepoetry,orcallyourversesrubbishIknewyouwereagenius,andnowI\'msureofit,\"hebrokeout,asifagainsthiswill:\"No。Itisn\'tgenius,itislove！\"Then,assheshrankalittle,startledathisenergy,headded,withaneffortatself—controlwhichmadehisvoicesoundstrange:
\"Ididn\'tmeantospeak,butIcan\'tsufferyoutodeceiveyourselfso。
Imusttellthetruth,andnotletyoukissmelikeacousinwhenIloveyouwithallmyheartandsoul！\"
\"Oh,Mac,don\'tjoke！\"criedRose,bewilderedbythissuddenglimpseintoaheartshethoughtsheknewsowell。
\"I\'minsolemnearnest,\"heansweredsteadily,insuchaquiettonethat,butforthepaleexcitementofhisface,shemighthavedoubtedhiswords。\"Beangry,ifyouwill。Iexpectit,forIknowitistoosoontospeak。Ioughttowaitforyears,perhaps,butyouseemedsohappyIdaredtohopeyouhadforgotten。\"
\"Forgottenwhat？\"askedRosesharply。
\"Charlie。\"
\"Ah！YouallwillinsistonbelievingthatIlovedhimbetterthanI
did！\"shecried,withbothpainandimpatienceinhervoice,forthefamilydelusiontriedherverymuchattimes。
\"Howcouldwehelpit,whenhewaseverythingwomenmostadmire？\"saidMac,notbitterly,butasifhesometimeswonderedattheirwantofinsight。
\"IdonotadmireweaknessofanysortIcouldneverlovewithouteitherconfidenceorrespect。Domethejusticetobelievethat,forI\'mtiredofbeingpitied。\"
Shespokealmostpassionately,beingmoreexcitedbyMac\'srepressedemotionthanshehadeverbeenbyCharlie\'smosttouchingdemonstration,thoughshedidnotknowwhy。
\"Buthelovedyouso！\"beganMac,feelingasifabarrierhadsuddenlygonedownbutnotdaringtoventureinasyet。
\"Thatwasthehardpartofit！ThatwaswhyItriedtolovehim,whyIhopedhewouldstandfastformysake,ifnotforhisown,andwhyI
founditsosadsometimesnottobeabletohelpdespisinghimforhiswantofcourage。Idon\'tknowhowothersfeel,but,tome,loveisn\'tall。
Imustlookup,notdown,trustandhonorwithmywholeheart,andfindstrengthandintegritytoleanon。Ihavehaditsofar,andIknowIcouldnotlivewithoutit。\"
\"Youridealisahighone。Doyouhopetofindit,Rose？\"Macasked,feeling,withthehumilityofagenuinelove,thathecouldnotgiveherallshedesired。
\"Yes,\"sheanswered,withafacefullofthebeautifulconfidenceinvirtue,theinstinctivedesireforthebestwhichsomanyofuslosetoosoon,tofindagainafterlife\'sgreatlessonsarewelllearned。\"Idohopetofindit,becauseItrynottobeunreasonableandexpectperfection。
Smileifyouwill,butIwon\'tgiveupmyheroyet,\"andshetriedtospeaklightly,hopingtoleadhimawayfromamoredangeroustopic。
\"You\'llhavetolookalongwhile,I\'mafraid,\"andalltheglowwasgoneoutofMac\'sface,forheunderstoodherwishandknewhisanswerhadbeengiven。
\"IhaveUncletohelpme,andIthinkmyidealgrewoutofmyknowledgeofhim。HowcanIfailtobelieveingoodness,whenheshowsmewhatitcanbeanddo？\"
\"It\'snouseformetosayanymore,forIhaveverylittletooffer。
IdidnotmeantosayawordtillIearnedarighttohopeforsomethinginreturn。Icannottakeitback,butIcanwishyousuccess,andIdo,becauseyoudeservetheverybest。\"AndMacmovedasifhewasgoingawaywithoutmorewords,acceptingtheinevitableasmanfullyashecould。
\"Thankyouthatmakesmefeelveryungratefulandunkind。IwishIcouldansweryouasyouwantmetofor,indeed,dearMac,I\'mveryfondofyouinmyownway,\"andRoselookedupwithsuchtenderpityandfrankaffectioninherface,itwasnowonderthepoorfellowcaughtatarayofhopeand,brighteningsuddenly,saidinhisownoddway:\"Couldn\'tyoutakemeontrialwhileyouarewaitingforatruehero？Itmaybeyearsbeforeyoufindhim;meantime,youcouldbepracticingonmeinwaysthatwouldbeusefulwhenyougethim。\"
\"Oh,Mac！WhatshallIdowithyou？\"exclaimedRose,socuriouslyaffectedbythisverycharacteristicwooingthatshedidnotknowwhethertolaughorcry,forhewaslookingatherwithhisheartinhiseyes,thoughhispropositionwasthequeerestevermadeatsuchatime。
\"Justgoonbeingfondofmeinyourownway,andletmeloveyouasmuchasIlikeinmine。I\'lltrytobesatisfiedwiththat。\"Andhetookbothherhandssobeseechinglythatshefeltmoreungratefulthanever。
\"No,itwouldnotbefair,foryouwouldlovethemostand,iftheherodidappear,whatwouldbecomeofyou？\"
\"IshouldresembleUncleAlecinonethingatleastfidelity,formyfirstlovewouldbemylast。\"
ThatwentstraighttoRose\'sheart,andforaminuteshestoodsilent,lookingdownatthetwostronghandsthatheldherssofirmlyyetsogently,andthethoughtwentthroughhermind,\"Musthe,too,besolitaryallhislife？Ihavenodearloverasmymotherhad,whycannotImakehimhappyandforgetmyself？\"
Itdidnotseemveryhard,andsheownedthat,evenwhileshetoldherselfthatcompassionwasnoequivalentforlove。Shewantedtogiveallshecould,andkeepasmuchofMac\'saffectionasshehonestlymight,becauseitseemedtogrowmoresweetandpreciouswhenshethoughtofputtingitaway。
\"YouwillbelikeUncleinhappierwaysthanthat,Ihope,foryou,too,musthaveahighidealandfindherandbehappy,\"shesaid,resolvingtobetruetothevoiceofconscience,notbeswayedbytheimpulseofthemoment。
\"Ihavefoundher,butIdon\'tseeanyprospectofhappiness,doyou？\"heaskedwistfully。
\"DearMac,Icannotgiveyoutheloveyouwant,butIdotrustandrespectyoufromthebottomofmyheart,ifthatisanycomfort,\"beganRose,lookingupwitheyesfullofcontritionforthepainherreplymustgive。
Shegotnofurther,however,forthoselastwordswroughtamarvelouschangeinMac。Droppingherhands,hestooderect,asifinspiredwithsuddenenergyandhope,whileoverhisfacetherecameabrave,brightlook,whichforthemomentmadehimanoblerandcomeliermanthaneverhandsomePrincehadbeen。
\"Itisacomfort！\"hesaid,inatoneofgratitudethattouchedherverymuch。\"Yousaidyourlovemustbefoundedonrespect,andthatyouhavegivenmewhycanInotearntherest？I\'mnothingnow,buteverythingispossiblewhenoneloveswithallhisheartandsoulandstrength。
Rose,Iwillbeyourheroifamortalmancan,eventhoughIhavetoworkandwaitforyears。I\'llmakeyouloveme,andbegladtodoit。
Don\'tbefrightened。I\'venotlostmywitsI\'vejustfoundthem。I
don\'taskanythingI\'llneverspeakofmyhope,butitisnousetostopme。Imusttryit,andIwillsucceed！\"
Withthelastwords,utteredinaringingvoicewhilehisfaceglowed,hiseyesshone,andhelookedasifcarriedoutofhimselfbythepassionthatpossessedhim,Macabruptlylefttheroom,likeoneeagertochangewordstodeedsandbeginhistaskatonce。
Rosewassoamazedbyallthisthatshesatdowntremblingalittle,notwithfearoranger,butafeelinghalfpleasure,halfpain,andasenseofsomenewpowersubtle,strong,andsweetthathadcomeintoherlife。ItseemedasifanotherMachadtakentheplaceoftheoneshehadknownsolonganardent,ambitiousman,readyforanyworknowthatthemagicalmomenthadcomewheneverythingseemspossibletolove。
Ifhopecouldworksuchamarvelouschangeforamoment,couldnothappinessdoitforalifetime？Itwouldbeanexcitingexperimenttotry,shethought,rememberingthesuddenilluminationwhichmadethatfamiliarfacebothbeautifulandstrange。
Shecouldnothelpwonderinghowlongthisunsuspectedsentimenthadbeengrowinginhisheartandfeltperplexedbyitspeculiardemonstration,forshehadneverhadaloverlikethisbefore。Ittouchedandflatteredher,neverthelessandshecouldnotbutfeelhonoredbyalovesogenuineandgenerous,foritseemedtomakeamanofMacallatonce,andamanlyman,too,whowasnotdauntedbydisappointmentbutcould\"hopeagainsthope\"andresolvetomakeherlovehimifittookyearstodoit。
Therewasthecharmofnoveltyaboutthissortofwooing,andshetriedtoguesshowhewouldsetaboutit,feltcurioustoseehowhewouldbehavewhennexttheymet,andwashalfangrywithherselffornotbeingabletodecidehowsheoughttoact。Themoreshethought,themorebewilderedshegrew,forhavingmadeuphermindthatMacwasagenius,itdisturbedallherplanstofindhimalover,andsuchanardentone。Asitwasimpossibletopredictwhatwouldcomenext,shegaveuptryingtoprepareforitand,tiredwithvainspeculations,carriedDulceofftobed,wishingshecouldtuckawayherlovetroublesasquietlyandcomfortablyasshedidhersleepylittlecharge。