\"Wecan\'tallbegeniuses，butwecanalllookjolly。\"
Sheltonhastenedtolookjolly。
\"Itellthegovernor，whenhe\'sglum，thatIshallputuptheshuttersandleavehim。What\'sthegoodofmopin\'andlookin\'
miserable？AreyougoingtotheFour-in-HandMeet？We\'remakingaparty。Suchfun；allthesmartpeople!\"
Thesplendourofhershoulders，herfrizzyhairclearlynottwohoursoutofthebarber\'shands，mighthavemadehimdoubtful；butthefrankshrewdnessinhereyes，andhercarefullyclippedtoneofvoice，wereguaranteesthatshewaspartoftheelementatthetablewhichwasreallyquiterespectable。Hehadneverrealisedbeforehow\"smart\"shewas，andwithaneffortabandonedhimselftoasortofgaietythatwouldhavekilledaFrenchman。
Andwhenshelefthim，hereflectedupontheexpressionofhereyeswhentheyrestedonaladyopposite，whowasatruebird-of-prey。
\"Whatisit，\"theirenvious，inquisitiveglancehadseemedtosay，\"thatmakesyousoreally\'smart\'？\"Andwhilestillseekingforthereason，henoticedhishostpointingoutthemeritsofhisporttothehawk-likeman，withadeferentialairquitepitifultosee，forthehawk-likemanwasclearlya\"badhat。\"Whatinthenameofgoodnessdidthesestaidbourgeoismeanbymakinguptovice？Wasitacravingtobethoughtdistinguished，adreadofbeingdull，ormerelyaneffectofoverfeeding？Againhelookedathishost，whohadnotyetenumeratedallthevirtuesofhisport，andagainfeltsorryforhim。
\"Soyou\'regoingtomarryAntoniaDennant？saidavoiceonhisright，withthateasycoarsenesswhichisamarkofcaste。\"Prettygirl!They\'veaniceplace，the，Dennants。D\'yeknow，you\'realuckyfeller!\"
Thespeakerwasanoldbaronet，withsmalleyes，adusky，ruddyface，andpeculiarhail-fellow-well-metexpression，atoncemoroseandsly。
Hewasalwayshardup，butbeingamanofenterpriseknewallthebestpeople，aswellasalltheworst，sothathedinedouteverynight。
\"You\'realuckyfeller，\"herepeated；\"he\'sgotsomedeucedgoodshootin\'，Dennant!Theycometoohighforme，though；nevertouchedafeatherlasttimeIshotthere。She\'saprettygirl。You\'realuckyfeller!\"
\"Iknowthat，\"saidSheltonhumbly。
\"WishIwereinyourshoes。Whowasthatsittin\'ontheothersideofyou？I\'msodashedshort-sighted。Mrs。Carruther？Oh，ay!\"Anexpressionwhich，ifhehadnotbeenabaronet，wouldhavebeenaleer，cameonhislips。
Sheltonfeltthathewasreferringtotheleafinhismentalpocket-
bookcoveredwiththeanecdotes，figures，andfactsaboutthatlady。
\"Theoldogremeans，\"thoughthe，\"thatI\'mluckybecausehisleafisblankaboutAntonia。\"Buttheoldbaronethadturned，withhissmile，andhissardonic，well-bredair，tolistentoabitofscandalontheotherside。
ThetwomentoShelton\'sleftweretalking。
\"What!Youdon\'tcollectanything？How\'sthat？Everybodycollectssomething。Ishouldbelostwithoutmypictures。\"
\"No，Idon\'tcollectanything。Givenitup；IwastooawfullyhadovermyWalkers。\"
Sheltonhadexpectedamoreloftyreason；heappliedhimselftotheMadeirainhisglass。That，hadbeen\"collected\"byhishost，anditspricewasgoingup!Youcouldn\'tgetiteveryday；worthtwoguineasabottle!Howprecioustheideathatotherpeoplecouldn\'tgetit，madeitseem!Liquiddelight；thepricewasgoingup!Soontherewouldbenoneleft；immense!Absolutelynoone，then，coulddrinkit!
\"WishIhadsomeofthis，\"saidtheoldbaronet，\"butIhavedrunkallmine。\"
\"Pooroldchap!\"thoughtShelton；\"afterall，he\'snotabadoldboy。IwishIhadhispluck。Hislivermustbesplendid。\"
Thedrawing-roomwasfullofpeopleplayingagameconcernedwithhorsesriddenbyjockeyswiththelatestseat。AndSheltonwascompelledtohelpincarryingonthissporttillearlyinthemorning。Atlastheleft，exhaustedbyhisanimation。
Hethoughtofthewedding；hethoughtoverhisdinnerandthewinethathehaddrunk。Hismoodofsatisfactionfizzledout。Thesepeoplewereincapableofbeingreal，eventhesmartest，eventhemostrespectable；theyseemedtoweightheirpleasuresinthescalesandtogetthemostthatcouldbegottenfortheirmoney。
Betweenthedark，safehousesstretchingformilesandmiles，histhoughtswereofAntonia；andashereachedhisroomshewasovertakenbythemomentwhenthetownisbornagain。Thefirstnewairhadstolendown；theskywasliving，butnotyetalight；thetreeswerequiveringfaintly；nolivingcreaturestirred，andnothingspokeexcepthisheart。Suddenlythecityseemedtobreathe，andSheltonsawthathewasnotalone；anunconsideredtriflewithinferiorbootswasasleepuponhisdoorstep。
CHAPTERX
ANALIEN
Theindividualonthedoorstephadfallenintoslumberoverhisownknees。Nogreaterairofprosperityclungabouthimthanisconveyedbyarustyovercoatandwispsofclothinplaceofsocks。Sheltonendeavouredtopassunseen，butthesleeperwoke。
\"Ah，it\'syou，monsieur!\"hesaid\"Ireceivedyourletterthisevening，andhavelostnotime。\"Helookeddownathimselfandtittered，asthoughtosay，\"ButwhatastateI\'min!\"
Theyoungforeigner\'sconditionwasindeedmoredesperatethanontheoccasionoftheirfirstmeeting，andSheltoninvitedhimupstairs。
\"Youcanwellunderstand，\"stammeredFerrand，followinghishost，\"thatIdidn\'twanttomissyouthistime。Whenoneislikethis——\"
andaspasmgrippedhisface。
\"I\'mverygladyoucame，\"saidSheltondoubtfully。
Hisvisitor\'sfacehadaweek\'sgrowthofreddishbeard；thedeeptanofhischeeksgavehimarobustappearanceatvariancewiththefitof，tremblingwhichhadseizedonhimassoonashehadentered。
\"Sitdown-sitdown，\"saidShelton；\"you\'refeelingill!\"
Ferrandsmiled。\"It\'snothing，\"saidhe；\"badnourishment。\"
Sheltonlefthimseatedontheedgeofanarmchair，andbroughthiminsomewhisky。
\"Clothes，\"saidFerrand，whenhehaddrunk，\"arewhatIwant。Thesearereallynotgoodenough。\"
Thestatementwascorrect，andShelton，placingsomegarmentsinthebath-room，invitedhisvisitortomakehimselfathome。Whilethelatter，then，wasdoingthis，Sheltonenjoyedtheluxuriesofself-
denial，huntingupthingshedidnotwant，andlayingthemintwoportmanteaus。Thisdone，hewaitedforhisvisitor\'sreturn。
Theyoungforeigneratlengthemerged，unshavedindeed，andinnocentofboots，buthavinginotherrespectsanairofgratifyingaffluence。
\"Thisisalittledifferent，\"hesaid。\"Theboots，Ifear\"——and，pullingdownhis，orratherShelton\'s，socksheexhibitedsoresthesizeofhalfacrown。\"Onedoesn\'tsowwithoutreapingsomeharvestoranother。Mystomachhasshrunk，\"headdedsimply。\"Toseethingsonemustsuffer。\'Voyager，c\'estplusfortquemoi\'!\"
Sheltonfailedtoperceivethatthiswasonewayofdisguisingthehumananimal\'snaturaldislikeofwork——therewasatouchofpathos，asuggestionofGod-knows-what-might-have-been，aboutthisfellow。
\"Ihaveeatenmyillusions，\"saidtheyoungforeigner，smokingacigarette。\"Whenyou\'vestarvedafewtimes，youreyesareopened。
\'Savoir，c\'estmonmetier；maisremarquezceci，monsieur\':It\'snotalwaystheintellectualswhosucceed。\"
\"Whenyougetajob，\"saidShelton，\"youthrowitaway，Isuppose。\"
\"Youaccusemeofrestlessness？ShallIexplainwhatIthinkaboutthat？I\'mrestlessbecauseofambition；Iwanttoreconqueranindependentposition。Iputallmysoulintomytrials，butassoonasIseethere\'snofutureformeinthatline，Igiveitupandgoelsewhere。\'Jeneveuxpasetreronddecuir，\'breakingmybacktoeconomisesixpenceaday，andsaveenoughafterfortyyearstodragouttheremainsofanexhaustedexistence。That\'snotinmycharacter。\"Thisingeniousparaphraseofthewords\"Isoongettiredofthings\"hepronouncedwithanairoflettingSheltonintoaprecioussecret。
\"Yes；itmustbehard，\"agreedthelatter。
Ferrandshruggedhisshoulders。
\"It\'snotallbutter，\"hereplied；\"oneisobligedtodothingsthatarenottoodelicate。There\'snothingIpridemyselfonbutfrankness。\"
Likeagoodchemist，however，headministeredwhatSheltoncouldstandinajudiciousway。\"Yes，yes，\"heseemedtosay，\"you\'dlikemetothinkthatyouhaveaperfectknowledgeoflife:nomorality，noprejudices，noillusions；you\'dlikemetothinkthatyoufeelyourselfonanequalitywithme，onehumananimaltalkingtoanother，withoutanybarriersofposition，money，clothes，ortherest——\'cac\'estunpeutropfort\'!You\'reasgoodanimitationasI\'vecomeacrossinyourclass，notwithstandingyourunfortunateeducation，andI\'mgratefultoyou，buttotellyoueverything，asitpassesthroughmymindwoulddamagemyprospects。Youcanhardlyexpectthat。\"
InoneofShelton\'soldfrock-coatshewasimpressive，withhisairofnatural，almostsensitiverefinement。Theroomlookedasifitwereaccustomedtohim，andmoreamazingstillwasthesenseoffamiliaritythatheinspired，as，thoughhewereapartofShelton\'ssoul。Itcameasashocktorealisethatthisyoungforeignvagabondhadtakensuchaplacewithinhisthoughts。Theposeofhislimbsandhead，irregularbutnotungraceful；hisdisillusionedlips；theringsofsmokethatissuedfromthem——allsignifiedrebellion，andtheoverthrowoflawandorder。Histhin，lopsidednose，therapidglancesofhisgoggling，prominenteyes，weresubtletyitself；hestoodfordiscontentwiththeaccepted。
\"HowdoIlivewhenIamonthetramp？\"hesaid。\"well，therearetheconsuls。Thesystemisnotdelicate，butwhenit\'saquestionofstarving，muchispermissible；besides，thesegentlemenwerecreatedforthepurpose。There\'sacoterieofGermanJewsinParislivingentirelyuponconsuls。\"Hehesitatedforthefractionofasecond，andresumed:\"Yes，monsieur；ifyouhavepapersthatfityou，youcantrysixorsevenconsulsinasingletown。Youmustknowalanguageortwo；butmostofthesegentlemenarenottoowellupinthetonguesofthecountrytheyrepresent。Obtainingmoneyunderfalsepretences？Well，itis。Butwhat\'sthedifferenceatbottombetweenallthishonourablecrowdofdirectors，fashionablephysicians，employersoflabour，ferry-builders，militarymen，countrypriests，andconsulsthemselvesperhaps，whotakemoneyandgivenovalueforit，andpoordevilswhodothesameatfargreaterrisk？Necessitymakesthelaw。Ifthosegentlemenwereinmyposition，doyouthinkthattheywouldhesitate？\"
Shelton\'sfaceremainingdoubtful，Ferrandwentoninstantly:\"You\'reright；theywould，fromfear，notprinciple。Onemustbehardpressedbeforecommittingtheseindelicacies。Lookdeepenough，andyouwillseewhatindelicatethingsaredailydonebytherespectablefornothalfsogoodareasonasthewantofmeals。\"
Sheltonalsotookacigarette——hisownincomewasderivedfrompropertyforwhichhegavenovalueinlabour。
\"Icangiveyouaninstance，\"saidFerrand，\"ofwhatcanbedonebyresolution。OnedayinaGermantown，\'etantdanslamisere\'，I
decidedtotrytheFrenchconsul。Well，asyouknow，IamaFleming，butsomethinghadtobescrewedoutsomewhere。Herefusedtoseeme；
Isatdowntowait。Afterabouttwohoursavoicebellowed:\'Hasn\'tthebrutegone？\'andmyconsulappears。\'I\'venothingforfellowslikeyou，\'sayshe；\'clearout!\'
\"\'Monsieur，\'Ianswered，\'Iamskinandbone；Ireallymusthaveassistance。\'
\"\'Clearout，\'hesays，\'orthepoliceshallthrowyouout!\'
\"Idon\'tbudge。Anotherhourpasses，andbackhecomesagain。
\"\'Stillhere？\'sayshe。\'Fetchasergeant。\'
\"Thesergeantcomes。
\"\'Sergeant，\'saystheconsul，\'turnthiscreatureout。\'
\"\'Sergeant，\'Isay，\'thishouseisFrance!\'Naturally，Ihadcalculateduponthat。InGermanythey\'renottoofondofthosewhoundertakethebusinessoftheFrench。
\"\'Heisright，\'saysthesergeant；\'Icandonothing。\'
\"\'Yourefuse？\'
\"\'Absolutely。\'Andhewentaway。
\"\'Whatdoyouthinkyou\'llgetbystaying？\'saysmyconsul。
\"\'Ihavenothingtoeatordrink，andnowheretosleep，\'saysI。
\"\'Whatwillyougofor？\'
\"\'Tenmarks。\'
\"\'Here，then，getout!\'Icantellyou，monsieur，onemustn\'thaveathinskinifonewantstoexploitconsuls。\"
Hisyellowfingersslowlyrolledthestumpofhiscigarette，hisironicallipsflickered。Sheltonthoughtofhisownignoranceoflife。Hecouldnotrecollecteverhavinggonewithoutameal。
\"Isuppose，\"hesaidfeebly，\"you\'veoftenstarved。\"For，havingalwaysbeensowellfed，theideaofstarvationwasattractive。
Ferrandsmiled。
\"Fourdaysisthelongest，\"saidhe。\"Youwon\'tbelievethatstory……ItwasinParis，andIhadlostmymoneyontherace-course。
Therewassomeduefromhomewhichdidn\'tcome。FourdaysandnightsIlivedonwater。Myclotheswereexcellent，andIhadjewellery；
butInevereventhoughtofpawningthem。Isufferedmostfromthenotionthatpeoplemightguessmystate。Youdon\'trecognisemenow？\"
\"Howoldwereyouthen？\"saidShelton。
\"Seventeen；it\'scuriouswhatone\'slikeatthatage。
ByaflashofinsightSheltonsawthewell-dressedboy，withsensitive，smoothface，alwaysonthemoveaboutthestreetsofParis，forfearthatpeopleshouldobservetheconditionofhisstomach。Thestorywasavaluablecommentary。Histhoughtswerebrusquelyinterrupted；lookinginFerrand\'sface，hesawtohisdismaytearsrollingdownhischeeks。
\"I\'vesufferedtoomuch，\"hestammered；\"whatdoIcarenowwhatbecomesofme？\"
Sheltonwasdisconcerted；hewished\'tosaysomethingsympathetic，but，beinganEnglishman，couldonlyturnawayhiseyes。
\"Yourturn\'scoming，\"hesaidatlast。
\"Ah!whenyou\'velivedmylife，\"brokeouthisvisitor，\"nothing\'sanygood。Myheart\'sinrags。Findmeanythingworthkeeping，inthismenagerie。\"
Movedthoughhewas，Sheltonwriggledinhischair，apreytoracialinstinct，toaningrainedover-tenderness，perhaps，ofsoulthatforbadehimfromexposinghisemotions，andrecoiledfromtherevelationofotherpeople\'s。Hecouldstanditonthestage，hecouldstanditinabook，butinreallifehecouldnotstandit。
WhenFerrandhadgoneoffwithaportmanteauineachhand，hesatdownandtoldAntonia:……Thepoorchapbrokedownandsatcryinglikeachild；andinsteadofmakingmefeelsorry，itturnedmeintostone。ThemoresympatheticIwantedtobe，thegrufferIgrew。Isitfearofridicule，independence，orconsideration，forothersthatpreventsonefromshowingone\'sfeelings？
HewentontotellherofFerrand\'sstarvingfourdayssoonerthanfaceapawnbroker；and，readingtheletteroverbeforeaddressingit，thefacesofthethreeladiesroundtheirsnowyclotharosebeforehim——Antonia\'sface，sofairandcalmandwind-fresh；hermother\'sface，alittlecreasedbytimeandweather；themaidenaunt\'ssomewhattoothin-andtheyseemedtoleanathim，alertanddecorous，andthewords\"That\'srathernice!\"ranginhisears。Hewentouttoposttheletter，andbuyingafive-shillingorderenclosedittothelittlebarber，Carolan，asarewardfordeliveringhisnotetoFerrand。Heomittedtosendhisaddresswiththisdonation，butwhetherfromdelicacyorfromcautionhecouldnothavesaid。Beyonddoubt，however，onreceivingthroughFerrandthefollowingreply，hefeltashamedandpleased3，BLANKRow，WESTMINSTER。
>Fromeverywell-bornsoulhumanityisowing。Athousandthanks。I
receivedthismorningyourpostalorder；yourhearthenceforthformewillbeplacedbeyondallpraise。
J。CAROLAN。
CHAPTERXI
THEVISION
AfewdayslaterhereceivedaletterfromAntoniawhichfilledhimwithexcitement:……AuntCharlotteiseversomuchbetter，somotherthinkswecangohome-hurrah!ButshesaysthatyouandImustkeeptoourarrangementnottoseeeachothertillJuly。Therewillbesomethingfineinbeingsonearandhavingthestrengthtokeepapart……
AlltheEnglisharegone。Ifeelitsoemptyouthere；thesepeoplearesofunny-allforeignandshallow。Oh，Dick!howsplendidtohaveanidealtolookupto!WriteatoncetoBrewer\'sHotelandtellmeyouthinkthesame……WearriveatCharingCrossonSundayathalf-pastseven，stayatBrewer\'sforacoupleofnights，andgodownonTuesdaytoHolmOaks。
AlwaysyourANTONIA。
\"To-morrow!\"hethought；\"she\'scomingtomorrow!\"and，leavinghisneglectedbreakfast，hestartedouttowalkoffhisemotion。Hissquareranintooneofthoseslumsthatstillrubshoulderswiththemostdistinguishedsituations，andinithecameuponalittlecrowdassembledroundadogfight。Oneofthedogswasbeingmauled，butthedaywasmuddy，andShelton，likeanywell-bredEnglishman，hadahorrorofmakinghimselfconspicuouseveninadecentcause；helookedforapoliceman。Onewasstandingby，toseefairplay，andSheltonmadeappealtohim。Theofficialsuggestedthatheshouldnothavebroughtoutafightingdog，andadvisedhimtothrowcoldwateroverthem。
\"Itisn\'tmydog，\"saidShelton。
\"ThenIshouldlet\'embe，\"remarkedthepolicemanwithevidentsurprise。
Sheltonappealedindefinitelytothelowerorders。Thelowerorders，however，wereafraidofbeingbitten。
\"Iwouldn\'tmeddlewiththattherejobifIwasyou，\"saidone。
\"Nastybreedo\'dawgisthat。\"
Hewasthereforeobligedtocastawayrespectability，spoilhistrousersandhisgloves，breakhisumbrella，drophishatinthemud，andseparatethedogs。Attheconclusionofthe\"job，\"thelowerorderssaidtohiminarathershamefacedspanner:
\"Well，Ineverthoughtyou\'dhavemanagedthat，sir\"；but，likeallmenofinaction，Sheltonafteractionwasmoredangerous。
\"D——nit!\"hesaid，\"onecan\'tletadogbekilled\"；andhemarchedoff，towingtheinjureddogwithhispocket-handkerchief，andlookingscornfullyatharmlesspassers-by。Havingsatisfiedforoncethesmoulderingfireswithinhim，hefeltentitledtoholdalowopinionofthesemeninthestreet。\"Thebrutes，\"hethought，\"won\'tstirafingertosaveapoordumbcreature，andasforpolicemen——\"
But，growingcooler，hebegantoseethatpeopleweighteddownby\"honesttoil\"couldnotaffordtoteartheirtrousersorgetabittenhand，andthateventhepoliceman，thoughhehadlookedsolikeademi-god，wasabsolutelymadeoffleshandblood。Hetookthedoghome，and，sendingforavet。，hadhimsewnup。
HewasalreadytorturedbythedoubtwhetherornohemightventuretomeetAntoniaatthestation，and，aftersendinghisservantwiththedogtotheaddressmarkedonitscollar，heformedtheresolvetogoandseehismother，withsomevaguenotionthatshemighthelphimtodecide。ShelivedinKensington，and，crossingtheBromptonRoad，hewassoonamongstthatmazeofhousesintothefibreofwhosestructurearchitectshavewroughtthemotto:\"Keepwhatyouhave——
wives，money，agoodaddress，andalltheblessingsofamoralstate!\"
Sheltonponderedashepassedhouseafterhouseofsuchintenserespectabilitythatevendogswereknowntobarkatthem。Hisbloodwasstilltoohot；itisamazingwhatincidentswillpromotetheloftiestphilosophy。Hehadbeenreadinginhisfavouritereviewanarticleeulogisingthefreedomandexpansionwhichhadmadetheuppermiddleclasssofineabody；andwitheyeswanderingfromsidetosidehenoddedhisheadironically。\"Expansionandfreedom，\"ranhisthoughts:\"Freedomandexpansion!\"
Eachhouse-frontwascoldandformal，theshellofanownerwithfromthreetofivethousandpoundsayear，andeachonewasarmouredagainsttheopinionofitsneighboursbyasortofdaringregularity。
\"Consciousofmyrectitude；andbythestrictobservanceofexactlywhatisnecessaryandnomore，Iamenabledtoholdmyheadupintheworld。Thepersonwholivesinmehasonlyfourthousandtwohundredandfifty-fivepoundseachyear，afterallowingfortheincometax。\"
Suchseemedthelegendofthesehouses。
Sheltonpassedladiesinonesandtwosandthreesgoingoutshopping，ortoclassesofdrawing，cooking，ambulance。Hardlyanymenwereseen，andtheyweremostlypolicemen；butafewdisillusionedchildrenwerebeingwheeledtowardstheParkbyfresh-cheekednurses，accompaniedbyagreatarmyofhairyorofhairlessdogs。
Therewassomethingofherbrother\'slargeliberalityaboutMrs。
Shelton，atinyladywithaffectionateeyes，warmcheeks，andchillyfeet；fondasacatofachairbythefire，andfullofthesympathythathasnoinsight。Shekissedhersonatoncewithrapture，and，asusual，begantotalkofhisengagement。Forthefirsttimeatremorofdoubtranthroughherson；hismother\'sviewofitgratedonhimlikethesightofablue-pinkdress；itwastoorosy。Hersplendidoptimism，dampedhim；ithadtoolittletrafficwiththereasoningpowers。
\"Whatright，\"heaskedhimself，\"hasshetobesocertain？Itseemstomeakindofblasphemy。\"
\"Thedear!\"shecooed。\"Andsheiscomingbackto-morrow？Hurrah!
howIlongtoseeher!\"
\"Butyouknow，mother，we\'veagreednottomeetagainuntilJuly。\"
Mrs。Sheltonrockedherfoot，and，holdingherheadononesidelikealittlebird，lookedathersonwithshiningeyes。
\"DearoldDick!\"shesaid，\"howhappyyoumustbe!\"
Halfacenturyofsympathywithweddingsofallsorts——good，bad，indifferent——beamedfromher。
\"Isuppose，\"saidSheltongloomily，\"Ioughtnottogoandseeheratthestation。\"
\"Cheerup!\"repliedthemother，andhersonfeltdreadfullydepressed。
That\"Cheer-up!\"——thepanaceawhichhadcarriedherblindandbrightthrougheveryevil——wasasvoidofmeaningtohimaswinewithoutaflavour。
\"Andhowisyoursciatica？\"heasked。
\"Oh，prettybad，\"returnedhismother；\"Iexpectit\'sallright，really。Cheerup!\"Shestretchedherlittlefigure，cantingherheadstillmore。
\"Wonderfulwoman!\"Sheltonthought。Shehad，infact，likemanyofherfellow-countrymen，mislaidthedarkersideofthings，and，enjoyingthebenefitsoforthodoxywithaneasyconscience，hadkeptasyounginheartasanygirlofthirty。
SheltonleftherhouseasdoubtfulwhetherhemightmeetAntoniaaswhenheenteredit。Hespentarestlessafternoon。
Thenextday——thatofherarrival——wasaSunday。HehadmadeFerrandapromisetogowithhimtohearasermonintheslums，and，catchingatanydiversionwhichmightallayexcitement，hefulfilledit。Thepreacherinquestion——anamateur，soFerrandtoldhim——hadanoriginalmethodofdistributingthefundsthatheobtained。Tomalesheephegavenothing，touglyfemalesheepaverylittle，toprettyfemalesheeptherest。Ferrandhazardedaninference，buthewasaforeigner。TheEnglishmanpreferredtolookuponthepreacherasguidedbyapurelyabstractloveofbeauty。Hiseloquence，atanyrate，wasunquestionable，andSheltoncameoutfeelingsick。
Itwasnotyetseveno\'clock，so，enteringanItalianrestauranttokillthehalf-hourbeforeAntonia\'sarrival，heorderedabottleofwineforhiscompanion，acupofcoffeeforhimself，and，lightingacigarette，compressedhislips。Therewasastrange，sweetsinkinginhisheart。Hiscompanion，ignorantofthisemotion，drankhiswine，crumbledhisroll，andblewsmokethroughhisnostrils，glancingcausticallyattherowsoflittletables，thecheapmirrors，thehot，redvelvet，thechandeliers。Hisjuicylipsseemedtobemurmuring，\"Ah!ifyouonlyknewofthedirtbehindthesefeathers!\"
Sheltonwatchedhimwithdisgust。Thoughhisclotheswerenowsonice，hisnailswerenotquiteclean，andhisfingertipsseemedyellowtothebone。Ananaemicwaiterinashirtsomefourdaysold，withgrease-spotsonhisgarmentsandacrumplednapkinonhisarm，stoodleaninganelbowamongstdoubtfulfruits，andreadinganItalianjournal。Restinghistiredfeetinturn，helookedlikeoverworkpersonified，andwhenhemoved，eachlimbaccusedthesordidsmartnessofthewalls。Inthefarcornersataladyeating，and，mirroredopposite，herfeatheredhat，hershort，roundface，itscoatofpowder，anddarkeyes，gaveSheltonashiverofdisgust。Hiscompanion\'sgazerestedlongandsubtlyonher。
\"Excuseme，monsieur，\"hesaidatlength。\"IthinkIknowthatlady!\"And，leavinghishost，hecrossedtheroom，bowed，accostedher，andsatdown。WithPharisaicdelicacy，Sheltonrefrainedfromlooking。ButpresentlyFerrandcameback；theladyroseandlefttherestaurant；shehadbeencrying。Theyoungforeignerwasflushed，hisfacecontorted；hedidnottouchhiswine。
\"Iwasright，\"hesaid；\"sheisthewifeofanoldfriend。Iusedtoknowherwell。\"
Hewassufferingfromemotion，butsomeonelessabsorbedthanSheltonmighthavenoticedakindofrelishinhisvoice，asthoughheweresavouringlife\'sdishes，andgladtohavesomethingnew，andspicedwithtragicsauce，tosetbeforehispatron。
\"Youcanfindherstorybythehundredinyourstreets，butnothinghinderstheseparagonsofvirtue\"——henoddedatthestreamofcarriages——\"fromturninguptheireyeswhentheyseeladiesofhersortpass。ShecametoLondon——justthreeyearsago。Afterayearoneofherlittleboystookfever——theshopwasavoided——herhusbandcaughtit，anddied。Thereshewas，leftwithtwochildrenandeverythinggonetopaythedebts。Shetriedtogetwork；noonehelpedher。Therewasnomoneytopayanyonetostaywiththechildren；alltheworkshecouldgetinthehousewasnotenoughtokeepthemalive。She\'snotastrongwoman。Well，sheputthechildrenouttonurse，andwenttothestreets。Thefirstweekwasfrightful，butnowshe\'susedtoit——onegetsusedtoanything。\"
\"Cannothingbedone？\"askedShelton，startled。
\"No，\"returnedhiscompanion。\"Iknowthatsort；iftheyoncetaketoitall\'sover。Theygetusedtoluxury。Onedoesn\'tpartwithluxury，aftertastingdestitution。Shetellsmeshedoesverynicely；thechildrenarehappy；she\'sabletopaywellandseethemsometimes。Shewasagirlofgoodfamily，too，wholovedherhusband，andgaveupmuchforhim。Whatwouldyouhave？Threequartersofyourvirtuousladiesplacedinherpositionwoulddothesameiftheyhadthenecessarylooks。\"
Itwasevidentthathefelttheshockofthisdiscovery，andSheltonunderstoodthatpersonalacquaintancemakesadifference，eveninavagabond。
\"Thisisherbeat，\"saidtheyoungforeigner，astheypassedtheilluminatedcrescent，wherenightlytheshadowsofhypocritesandwomenfall；andSheltonwentfromthesecommentsonChristianitytothestationofCharingCross。There，ashestoodwaitingintheshadow，hisheartwasinhismouth；anditstruckhimasoddthatheshouldhavecometothismeetingfreshfromavagabond\'ssociety。
Presently，amongstthestreamoftravellers，hesawAntonia。Shewasclosetohermother，whowasparleyingwithafootman；behindthemwereamaidcarryingabandboxandaporterwiththetravelling-bags。
Antonia\'sfigure，withitsthroatsettledinthecollarofhercape，slender，tall，severe，lookedimpatientandremoteamongstthebustle。Hereyes，shadowedbythejourney，glancedeagerlyabout，welcomingallshesaw；awispofhairwaslooseaboveherear，hercheeksglowedcoldandrosy。ShecaughtsightofShelton，andbendingherneck，stag-like，stoodlookingathim；abrilliantsmilepartedherlips，andSheltontrembled。Herewastheembodimentofallhehaddesiredforweeks。Hecouldnottellwhatwasbehindthatsmileofhers——passionateachingoronlysomeideal，somechasteandglacialintangibility。Itseemedtobeshiningpasthimintothegloomystation。Therewasnotremblinganduncertainty，norageofpossessioninthatbrilliantsmile；ithadthegleamoffixedness，likethesmilingofastar。Whatdiditmatter？Shewasthere，beautifulasayoungday，andsmilingathim；andshewashis，onlydividedfromhimbyaspaceoftime。Hetookastep；hereyesfellatonce，herfaceregainedaloofness；hesawher，encircledbymother，footman，maid，andporter，takeherseatanddriveaway。
Itwasover；shehadseenhim，shehadsmiled，butalongsidehisdelightlurkedanotherfeeling，and，byabitterfreak，notherfacecameupbeforehimbutthefaceofthatladyintherestaurant——
short，round，andpowdered，withblack-circledeyes。Whatrighthadwetoscornthem？Hadtheymothers，footmen，porters，maids？Heshivered，butthistimewithphysicaldisgust；thepowderedfacewithdark-fringedeyeshadvanished；thefair，remotefigureoftherailway-stationcamebackagain。
Hesatlongoverdinner，drinking，dreaming；hesatlongafter，smoking，dreaming，andwhenatlengthhedroveaway，wineanddreamsfumedinhisbrain。Thedanceoflamps，thecream-cheesemoon，theraysofcleanwetlightonhishorse\'sharness，thejinglingofthecabbell，thewhirringwheels，thenightairandthebranches——itwasallsogood!Hethrewbackthehansomdoorstofeelthetouchofthewarmbreeze。Thecrowdsonthepavementgavehimstrangedelight；
theywerelikeshadows，insomegreatillusion，happyshadows，thronging，wheelingroundthesinglefigureofhisworld。
CHAPTERXII
ROTTENROW
Withaheadacheandasenseofrestlessness，hopefulandunhappy，SheltonmountedhishacknextmorningforagallopinthePark。
Intheskywasmingledallthelanguorandtheviolenceofthespring。Thetreesandflowersworeanawakenedlookinthegleamsoflightthatcamestealingdownfrombehindthepurpleoftheclouds。
Theairwasrain-washed，andthepassersbyseemedtowearanairoftranquilcarelessness，asifanxietywereparalysedbytheirresponsibilityofthefirmament。
Throngedbyriders，theRowwasallastir。
NeartoHydeParkCornerafigurebytherailscaughtShelton\'seye。
Straightandthin，oneshoulderhumpedalittle，asifitsownerwerereflecting，clothedinafrock-coatandabrownfelthatpinchedupinlawlessfashion，thisfigurewassodetachedfromitssurroundingsthatitwouldhavebeennoticeableanywhere。ItbelongedtoFerrand，obviouslywaitingtillitwastimetobreakfastwithhispatron。
Sheltonfoundpleasureinthusobservinghimunseen，andsatquietlyonhishorse，hiddenbehindatree。
Itwasjustatthatspotwhereriders，unabletogetfurther，areforeverwheelingtheirhorsesforanotherturn；andthereFerrand，thebirdofpassage，withhisheadalittletooneside，watchedthemcantering，trotting，wheelingupanddown。
Threemenwalkingalongtherailsweresnatchingofftheirhatsbeforeahorsewomanatexactlythesameangleandwithpreciselythesameair，asthoughinthemodishperformanceofthisancientritetheyweresatisfyingsomeinstinctverydeartothem。
SheltonnotedthecurlofFerrand\'slipashewatchedthissight。
\"Manythanks，gentlemen，\"itseemedtosay；\"inthatcharminglittleactionyouhaveshownmeallyoursouls。\"
Whatasingulargiftthefellowhadofdivestingthingsandpeopleoftheirgarments，oftearingawaytheirveilofshams，andtheirphylacteries!Sheltonturnedandcanteredon；histhoughtswerewithAntonia，andhedidnotwanttheglamourstrippedaway。
Hewasglancingatthesky，thateverymomentthreatenedtodischargeaviolentshowerofrain，whensuddenlyheheardhisnamecalledfrombehind，andwhoshouldrideuptohimoneithersidebutBillDennantand——Antoniaherself!
Theyhadbeengalloping；andshewasflushed——flushedaswhenshestoodontheoldtoweratHyeres，butwithajoyfulradiancedifferentfromthecalmandconqueringradianceofthatothermoment。
ToShelton\'sdelighttheyfellintolinewithhim，andallthreewentgallopingalongthestripbetweenthetreesandrails。Thelookshegavehimseemedtosay，\"Idon\'tcareifitisforbidden!\"butshedidnotspeak。Hecouldnottakehiseyesoffher。Howlovelyshelooked，withtheresolutecurveofherfigure，theglimpseofgoldunderherhat，thegloriouscolourinhercheeks，asifshehadbeenkissed。
\"It\'ssosplendidtobeathome!Let\'sgofaster，faster!\"shecriedout。
\"Takeapull。Weshallgetrunin，\"grumbledherbrother，withachuckle。
Theyreinedinroundthebendandjoggedmoresoberlydownonthefarside；stillnotawordfromhertoShelton，andSheltoninhisturnspokeonlytoBillDennant。Hewasafraidtospeaktoher，forheknewthathermindwasdwellingonthischanceforbiddenmeetinginawayquitedifferentfromhisown。
ApproachingHydeParkCorner，whereFerrandwasstillstandingagainsttherails，Shelton，whohadforgottenhisexistence，sufferedashockwhenhiseyesfellsuddenlyonthatimpassivefigure。Hewasabouttoraisehishand，whenhesawthattheyoungforeigner，notinghisinstinctivefeeling，hadatonceadaptedhimselftoit。Theypassedagainwithoutagreeting，unlessthatswiftinquisition；
followedbyunconsciousnessinFerrand\'seyes，couldsobecalled。
ButthefeelingofidiotichappinessleftShelton；hegrewirritatedatthissilence。Ittantalisedhimmoreandmore，forBillDennanthadlaggedbehindtochattertoafriend；SheltonandAntoniawerealone，walkingtheirhorses，withoutaword，notevenlookingateachother。Atonemomenthethoughtofgallopingaheadandleavingher，thenofbreakingthevowofmutenesssheseemedtobeimposingonhim，andhekeptthinking:\"Itoughttobeeitheronethingortheother。Ican\'tstandthis。\"Hercalmnesswasgettingonhisnerves；
sheseemedtohavedeterminedjusthowfarshemeanttogo，tohavefixedcold-bloodedlyalimit。InherhappyyoungbeautyandradiantcoolnessshesummedupthatsaneconsistentsomethingexistinginnineoutoftenofthepeopleSheltonknew。\"Ican\'tstanditlong，\"
hethought，andallofasuddenspoke；butashedidsoshefrownedandcanteredon。Whenhecaughthershewassmiling，liftingherfacetocatchtheraindropswhichwerefallingfast。Shegavehimjustanod，andwavedherhandasasignforhimtogo；andwhenhewouldnot，shefrowned。HesawBillDennant，postingafterthem，and，seizedbyasenseoftheridiculous，liftedhishat，andgallopedoff。
Therainwascomingdownintorrentsnow，andeveryonewasscurryingforshelter。Helookedbackfromthebend，andcouldstillmakeoutAntoniaridingleisurely，herfaceupturned，andrevellingintheshower。Whyhadn\'tsheeithercuthimaltogetherortakenthesweetsthegodshadsent？Itseemedwickedtohavewastedsuchachance，and，ploughingbacktoHydeParkCorner，heturnedhisheadtoseeifbyanychanceshehadrelented。
Hisirritationwassoongone，buthislongingstayed。Waseveranythingsobeautifulasshehadlookedwithherfaceturnedtotherain？Sheseemedtolovetherain。Itsuitedher——suitedhereversomuchbetterthanthesunshineoftheSouth。Yes，shewasveryEnglish!Puzzlingandfretting，hereachedhisrooms。Ferrandhadnotarrived，infactdidnotturnupthatday。Hisnon-appearanceaffordedSheltonanotherproofofthedelicacythatwenthandinhandwiththeyoungvagrant\'scynicism。Intheafternoonhereceivedanote。