THECOMMISSARYCRITICALLY。MAISOUI。TRESBIEN。
THEARETHUSA。COMMENT，MONSIEUR!What!Butdoyounotobserveitisantique。Itisdifficulttounderstand，evenforyouandme；
butfortheaudienceatafair，itwouldbemeaningless。
THECOMMISSARYTAKINGAPEN。ENFIN，ILFAUIENFINIR。Whatisyourname？
THEARETHUSASPEAKINGWITHTHESWALLOWINGVIVACITYOFTHE
ENGLISH。Robert-Louis-Stev\'ns\'n。
THECOMMISSARYAGHAST。HE!QUOI？
THEARETHUSAPERCEIVINGANDIMPROVINGHISADVANTAGE。Rob\'rt-
Lou\'s-Stev\'ns\'n。
THECOMMISSARYAFTERSEVERALCONFLICTSWITHHISPEN。EHBIEN，IL
FAUTSEPASSERDUNOM。CANES\'ECRITPAS。Well，wemustdowithoutthename:itisunspellable。
Theaboveisaroughsummaryofthismomentousconversation，inwhichIhavebeenchieflycarefultopreservetheplumsoftheCommissary；buttheremainderofthescene，perhapsbecauseofhisrisinganger，hasleftbutlittledefiniteinthememoryoftheArethusa。TheCommissarywasnot，Ithink，apractisedliteraryman；nosooner，atleast，hadhetakenpeninhandandembarkedonthecompositionofthePROCES-VERBAL，thanhebecamedistinctlymoreuncivilandbegantoshowapredilectionforthatsimplestofallformsofrepartee:\"Youlie!\"SeveraltimestheArethusaletitpass，andthensuddenlyflaredup，refusedtoacceptmoreinsultsortoanswerfurtherquestions，defiedtheCommissarytodohisworst，andpromisedhim，ifhedid，thatheshouldbitterlyrepentit。Perhapsifhehadwornthisproudfrontfromthefirst，insteadofbeginningwithasenseofentertainmentandthengoingontoargue，thethingmighthaveturnedotherwise；forevenatthiseleventhhourtheCommissarywasvisiblystaggered。Butitwastoolate；hehadbeenchallengedthePROCES-VERBALwasbegun；
andheagainsquaredhiselbowsoverhiswriting，andtheArethusawasledforthaprisoner。
Asteportwodownthehotroadstoodthegendarmerie。Thitherwasourunfortunateconducted，andtherehewasbiddentoemptyforththecontentsofhispockets。Ahandkerchief，apen，apencil，apipeandtobacco，matches，andsometenfrancsofchange:thatwasall。Notafile，notacipher，notascrapofwritingwhethertoidentifyortocondemn。Theverygendarmewasappalledbeforesuchdestitution。
\"Iregret，\"hesaid，\"thatIarrestedyou，forIseethatyouarenoVOYOU。\"Andhepromisedhimeveryindulgence。
TheArethusa，thusencouraged，askedforhispipe。Thathewastoldwasimpossible，butifhechewed，hemighthavesometobacco。
Hedidnotchew，however，andaskedinsteadtohavehishandkerchief。
\"NON，\"saidthegendarme。\"NOUSAVONSEUDESHISTOIRESDEGENSQUI
SESONTPENDUS。\"No，wehavehadhistoriesofpeoplewhohangedthemselves。
\"What，\"criedtheArethusa。\"Andisitforthatyourefusememyhandkerchief？ButseehowmuchmoreeasilyIcouldhangmyselfinmytrousers!\"
Themanwasstruckbythenoveltyoftheidea；buthestucktohiscolours，andonlycontinuedtorepeatvagueoffersofservice。
\"Atleast，\"saidtheArethusa，\"besurethatyouarrestmycomrade；
hewillfollowmeerelongonthesameroad，andyoucantellhimbythesackuponhisshoulders。\"
Thispromised，theprisonerwasledroundintothebackcourtofthebuilding，acellardoorwasopened，hewasmotioneddownthestair，andboltsgratedandchainsclangedbehindhisdescendingperson。
Thephilosophicandstillmoretheimaginativemindisapttosupposeitselfpreparedforanymortalaccident。Prison，amongotherills，wasonethathadbeenoftenfacedbytheundauntedArethusa。Evenashewentdownthestairs，hewastellinghimselfthatherewasafamousoccasionforaroundel，andthatlikethecommittedlinnetsofthetunefulcavalier，hetoowouldmakehisprisonmusical。Iwilltellthetruthatonce:theroundelwasneverwritten，oritshouldbeprintedinthisplace，toraiseasmile。Tworeasonsinterfered:thefirstmoral，thesecondphysical。
Itisoneofthecuriositiesofhumannature，thatalthoughallmenareliars，theycannoneofthembeartobetoldsoofthemselves。
Togetandtaketheliewithequanimityisastretchbeyondthestoic；andtheArethusa，whohadbeensurfeiteduponthatinsult，wasblazinginwardlywithawhiteheatofsmotheredwrath。Butthephysicalhadalsoitspart。Thecellarinwhichhewasconfinedwassomefeetunderground，anditwasonlylightedbyanunglazed，narrowaperturehighupinthewallandsmotheredintheleavesofagreenvine。Thewallswereofnakedmasonry，thefloorofbareearth；bywayoffurnituretherewasanearthenwarebasin，awater-
jug，andawoodenbedsteadwithablue-graycloakforbedding。Tobetakenfromthehotairofasummer\'safternoon，thereverberationoftheroadandthestirofrapidexercise，andplungedintothegloomanddampofthisreceptacleforvagabonds，struckaninstantchillupontheArethusa\'sblood。Nowseeinhowsmallamatterahardshipmayconsist:thefloorwasexceedinglyunevenunderfoot，withtheveryspade-marks，Isuppose，ofthelabourerswhodugthefoundationsofthebarrack；andwhatwiththepoortwilightandtheirregularsurface，walkingwasimpossible。
Thecagedauthorresistedforagoodwhile；butthechilloftheplacestruckdeeperanddeeper；andatlength，withsuchreluctanceasyoumayfancy，hewasdriventoclimbuponthebedandwraphimselfinthepubliccovering。There，then，helayuponthevergeofshivering，plungedinsemi-darkness，woundinagarmentwhosetouchhedreadedliketheplague，andinaspiritfarremovedfromresignationtellingtherolloftheinsultshehadjustreceived。
Thesearenotcircumstancesfavourabletothemuse。
MeantimetolookattheuppersurfacewherethesunwasstillshiningandthegunsofsportsmenwerestillnoisythroughthetuftedplaintheCigarettewasdrawingnearathismorephilosophicpace。InthosedaysoflibertyandhealthhewastheconstantpartneroftheArethusa，andhadampleopportunitytoshareinthatgentleman\'sdisfavourwiththepolice。Manyabitterbowlhadhepartakenofwiththatdisastrouscomrade。Hewashimselfamanborntofloateasilythroughlife，hisfaceandmannerartfullyrecommendinghimtoall。Therewasbutonesuspiciouscircumstancehecouldnotcarryoff，andthatwashiscompanion。HewillnotreadilyforgettheCommissaryinwhatisironicallycalledthefreetownofFrankfort-on-the-Main；northeFranco-Belgianfrontier；northeinnatLaFere；last，butnotleast，heisprettycertaintorememberChatillon-sur-Loire。
Atthetownentry，thegendarmeculledhimlikeawaysideflower；
andamomentlater，twopersons，inahighstateofsurprise，wereconfrontedintheCommissary\'soffice。ForiftheCigarettewassurprisedtobearrested，theCommissarywasnolesstakenabackbytheappearanceandappointmentsofhiscaptive。Herewasamanaboutwhomtherecouldbenomistake:amanofanunquestionableandunassailablemanner，inapple-pieorder，dressednotwithneatnessmerelybutelegance，readywithhispassport，ataword，andwellsuppliedwithmoney:amantheCommissarywouldhavedoffedhishattoonchanceuponthehighway；andthisBEAU
CAVALIERunblushinglyclaimedtheArethusaforhiscomrade!Theconclusionoftheinterviewwasforegone；ofitshumours，I
rememberonlyone。\"Baronet？\"demandedthemagistrate，glancingupfromthepassport。\"ALORS，MONSIEUR，VOUSETESLEFIRSD\'UN
BARON？\"AndwhentheCigarettehisonemistakethroughouttheinterviewdeniedthesoftimpeachment，\"ALORS，\"fromtheCommissary，\"CEN\'ESTPASVOTREPASSEPORT!\"Butthesewereineffectualthunders；heneverdreamedoflayinghandsupontheCigarette；presentlyhefellintoamoodofunrestrainedadmiration，gloatingoverthecontentsoftheknapsack，commandingourfriend\'stailor。Ah，whatanhonouredguestwastheCommissaryentertaining!whatsuitableclothesheworeforthewarmweather!
whatbeautifulmaps，whatanattractiveworkofhistoryhecarriedinhisknapsack!Youaretounderstandtherewasnowbutonepointofdifferencebetweenthem:whatwastobedonewiththeArethusa？
theCigarettedemandinghisrelease，theCommissarystillclaiminghimasthedungeon\'sown。NowitchancedthattheCigarettehadpassedsomeyearsofhislifeinEgypt，wherehehadmadeacquaintancewithtwoverybadthings，choleramorbusandpashas；
andintheeyeoftheCommissary，ashefingeredthevolumeofMichelet，itseemedtoourtravellertherewassomethingTurkish。
Ipassoverthislightly；itishighlypossibletherewassomemisunderstanding，highlypossiblethattheCommissarycharmedwithhisvisitorsupposedtheattractiontobemutualandtookforanactofgrowingfriendshipwhattheCigarettehimselfregardedasabribe。Andatanyrate，wasthereeverabribemoresingularthananoddvolumeofMichelet\'shistory？Theworkwaspromisedhimforthemorrow，beforeourdeparture；andpresentlyafter，eitherbecausehehadhisprice，ortoshowthathewasnotthemantobebehindinfriendlyoffices-\"EHBIEN，\"hesaid，\"JESUPPOSEQU\'IL
FAUTLAHERVOIRECAMARADE。\"Andhetoreupthatfeastofhumour，theunfinishedPROCES-VERBAL。Ah，ifhehadonlytornupinsteadtheArethusa\'sroundels!ThereweremanyworksburntatAlexandria，therearemanytreasuredintheBritishMuseum，thatI
couldbettersparethanthePROCES-VERBALofChatillon。PoorbubuckledCommissary!IbegintobesorrythatheneverhadhisMichelet:perceivinginhimfinehumantraits，abroad-basedstupidity，agustoinhismagisterialfunctions，atasteforletters，areadyadmirationfortheadmirable。AndifhedidnotadmiretheArethusa，hewasnotaloneinthat。
Totheimprisonedone，shiveringunderthepubliccovering，therecamesuddenlyanoiseofboltsandchains。Hesprangtohisfeet，readytowelcomeacompanionincalamity；andinsteadofthat，thedoorwasflungwide，thefriendlygendarmeappearedaboveinthestrongdaylight，andwithamagnificentgesturebeingprobablyastudentofthedrama-\"VOUSETESLIBRE!\"hesaid。NonetoosoonfortheArethusa。Idoubtifhehadbeenhalf-an-hourimprisoned；
butbythewatchinaman\'sbrainwhichwastheonlywatchhecarriedheshouldhavebeeneighttimeslonger；andhepassedforthwithecstasyupthecellarstairsintothehealingwarmthoftheafternoonsun；andthebreathoftheearthcameassweetasacow\'sintohisnostril；andheheardagainandcouldhavelaughedforpleasuretheconcordofdelicatenoisesthatwecallthehumoflife。
Andhereitmightbethoughtthatmyhistoryended；butnotso，thiswasanact-dropandnotthecurtain。Uponwhatfollowedinfrontofthebarrack，sincetherewasaladyinthecase，Iscrupletoexpatiate。ThewifeoftheMarechal-des-logiswasahandsomewoman，andyettheArethusawasnotsorrytobegonefromhersociety。Somethingofherimage，coolasapeachonthathotafternoon，stilllingersinhismemory:yetmoreofherconversation。\"Youhavethereaveryfineparlour，\"saidthepoorgentleman-\"Ah，\"saidMadamelaMarechaledes-logis，\"youareverywellacquaintedwithsuchparlours!\"Andyoushouldhaveseenwithwhatahardandscornfuleyeshemeasuredthevagabondbeforeher!IdonotthinkheeverhatedtheCommissary；butbeforethatinterviewwasatanend，hehatedMadamelaMarechale。HispassionasIamledtounderstandbyonewhowaspresentstoodconfessedinaburningeye，apalecheek，andatremblingutterance；Madamemeanwhiletastingthejoysofthematador，goadinghimwithbarbedwordsandstaringhimcoldlydown。
Itwascertainlygoodtobeawayfromthislady，andbetterstilltositdowntoanexcellentdinnerintheinn。Here，too，thedespisedtravellersscrapedacquaintancewiththeirnextneighbour，agentlemanoftheseparts，returnedfromtheday\'ssport，whohadthegoodtastetofindpleasureintheirsociety。Thedinneratanend，thegentlemanproposedtheacquaintanceshouldberipenedinthecafe。
Thecafewascrowdedwithsportsmenconclamantlyexplainingtoeachotherandtheworldthesmallnessoftheirbags。Aboutthecentreoftheroom，theCigaretteandtheArethusasatwiththeirnewacquaintance；atrioverywellpleased，forthetravellersaftertheirlateexperienceweregreedyofconsideration，andtheirsportsmanrejoicedinapairofpatientlisteners。Suddenlytheglassdoorflewopenwithacrash；theMarechal-des-logisappearedintheinterval，gorgeouslybeltedandbefrogged，enteredwithoutsalutation，strodeuptheroomwithaclangofspursandweapons，anddisappearedthroughadooratthefarend。CloseathisheelsfollowedtheArethusa\'sgendarmeoftheafternoon，imitating，withaniceshadeofdifference，theimperialbearingofhischief；
only，ashepassed，hestrucklightlywithhisopenhandontheshoulderofhislatecaptive，andwiththatringing，dramaticutteranceofwhichhehadthesecret-\"SUIVEZ!\"saidhe。
Thearrestofthemembers，theoathoftheTennisCourt，thesigningofthedeclarationofindependence，MarkAntony\'soration，allthebravescenesofhistory，IconceiveashavingbeennotunlikethateveninginthecafeatChatillon。Terrorbreathedupontheassembly。Amomentlater，whentheArethusahadfollowedhisrecaptorsintothefartherpartofthehouse，theCigarettefoundhimselfalonewithhiscoffeeinaringofemptychairsandtables，allthelustysportsmenhuddledintocorners，alltheirclamorousvoiceshushedinwhispering，alltheireyesshootingathimfurtivelyasataleper。
AndtheArethusa？Well，hehadalong，sometimesatrying，interviewinthebackkitchen。TheMarechal-des-logis，whowasaveryhandsomeman，andIbelievebothintelligentandhonest，hadnoclearopiniononthecase。HethoughttheCommissaryhaddonewrong，buthedidnotwishtogethissubordinatesintotrouble；
andheproposedthis，that，andtheother，toallofwhichtheArethusawithagrowingsenseofhispositiondemurred。
\"Inshort，\"suggestedtheArethusa，\"youwanttowashyourhandsoffurtherresponsibility？Well，then，letmegotoParis。\"
TheMarechal-des-logislookedathiswatch。
\"Youmayleave，\"saidhe，\"bytheteno\'clocktrainforParis。\"
Andatnoonthenextdaythetravellersweretellingtheirmisadventureinthedining-roomatSiron\'s。
CHAPTERV-RANDOMMEMORIES
I-THECOASTOFFIFE
MANYwritershavevigorouslydescribedthepainsofthefirstdayorthefirstnightatschool；toaboyofanyenterprise，I
believe，theyaremoreoftenagreeablyexciting。Misery-oratleastmiseryunrelieved-isconfinedtoanotherperiod，tothedaysofsuspenseandthe\"dreadfullooking-for\"ofdeparture；whentheoldlifeisrunningtoanend，andthenewlife，withitsnewinterests，notyetbegun:andtothepainofanimminentparting，thereisaddedtheunrestofastateofconsciouspre-existence。
Thearearailings，thebelovedshop-window，thesmellofsemi-
suburbantanpits，thesongofthechurchbellsuponaSunday，thethin，highvoicesofcompatriotchildreninaplaying-field-whatasudden，whatanoverpoweringpathosbreathestohimfromeachfamiliarcircumstance!Theassaultsofsorrowcomenotfromwithin，asitseemstohim，butfromwithout。Iwasproudandgladtogotoschool；hadIbeenletalone，Icouldhaveborneuplikeanyhero；buttherewasaroundme，inallmynativetown，aconspiracyoflamentation:\"Poorlittleboy，heisgoingaway-
unkindlittleboy，heisgoingtoleaveus\"；sotheunspokenburthenfollowedmeasIwent，withyearningandreproach。Andatlength，onemelancholyafternoonintheearlyautumn，andataplacewhereitseemstome，lookingback，itmustbealwaysautumnandgenerallySunday，therecamesuddenlyuponthefaceofallI
saw-thelongemptyroad，thelinesofthetallhouses，thechurchuponthehill，thewoodyhillsidegarden-alookofsuchapiercingsadnessthatmyheartdied；andseatingmyselfonadoor-
step，Ishedtearsofmiserablesympathy。Abenevolentcatcumberedmethewhilewithconsolations-wetwowerealoneinallthatwasvisibleoftheLondonRoad:twopoorwaifswhohadeachtastedsorrow-andshefawnedupontheweeper，andgambolledforhisentertainment，watchingtheeffectitseemed，withmotherlyeyes。
Forthesakeofthecat，Godblessher!Iconfessedathomethestoryofmyweakness；andsoitcomesaboutthatIowedacertainjourney，andthereaderowesthepresentpaper，toacatintheLondonRoad。Itwasjudged，ifIhadthusbrimmedoveronthepublichighway，somechangeofscenewasinthemedicalsense
indicated；myfatheratthetimewasvisitingtheharbourlightsofScotland；anditwasdecidedheshouldtakemealongwithhimaroundaportionoftheshoresofFife；myfirstprofessionaltour，myfirstjourneyinthecompletecharacterofman，withoutthehelpofpetticoats。
TheKingdomofFifethatroyalprovincemaybeobservedbythecuriousonthemap，occupyingatongueoflandbetweenthefirthsofForthandTay。ItmaybecontinuallyseenfrommanypartsofEdinburghamongtherest，fromthewindowsofmyfather\'shouse
dyingawayintothedistanceandtheeasterlyHAARwithonesmokyseasidetownbeyondanother，orinwinterprintingonthegrayheavensomeglitteringhill-tops。Ithasnobeautytorecommendit，beingalow，sea-salted，wind-vexedpromontory；treesveryrare，exceptascommonontheeastcoastalongthedensofrivers；thefieldswellcultivated，Iunderstand，butnotlovelytotheeye。ItisofthecoastIspeak:theinteriormaybethegardenofEden。HistorybroodsoverthatpartoftheworldliketheeasterlyHAAR。Evenonthemap，itslongrowofGaelicplace-
namesbeartestimonytoanoldandsettledrace。Oftheselittletowns，postedalongtheshoreascloseassedges，eachwithitsbitofharbour，itsoldweather-beatenchurchorpublicbuilding，itsflavourofdecayedprosperityanddecayingfish，notonebuthasitslegend，quaintortragic:Dunfermline，inwhoseroyaltowersthekingmaybestillobservedintheballaddrinkingtheblood-
redwine；somnolentInverkeithing，oncethequarantineofLeith；
Aberdour，hardbythemonasticisletofInchcolm，hardbyDonibristlewherethe\"bonnyfacewasspoiled\"；Burntislandwhere，whenPaulJoneswasoffthecoast，theReverendMr。Shirrahadatablecarriedbetweentidemarks，andpubliclyprayedagainsttheroveratthepitchofhisvoiceandhisbroadlowlanddialect；
Kinghorn，whereAlexander\"brak\'sneckbane\"andleftScotlandtotheEnglishwars；Kirkcaldy，wherethewitchesonceprevailedextremelyandsanktallshipsandhonestmarinersintheNorthSea；
Dysart，famous-wellfamousatleasttomefortheDutchshipsthatlayinitsharbour，paintedliketoysandwithpotsofflowersandcagesofsong-birdsinthecabinwindows，andforoneparticularDutchskipperwhowouldsitalldayinslippersonthebreakofthepoop，smokingalongGermanpipe；WemysspronounceWeemswithitsbat-hauntedcaves，wheretheChevalierJohnstone，onhisflightfromCulloden，passedanightofsuperstitiousterrors；Leven，abald，quitemodernplace，sacredtosummervisitors，whencetherehasgonebutyesterdaythetallfigureandthewhitelocksofthelastEnglishmaninDelhi，myuncleDr。
Balfour，whowasstillwalkinghishospitalrounds，whilethetroopersfromMeerutclatteredandcried\"DeenDeen\"alongthestreetsoftheimperialcity，andWilloughbymusteredhishandfulofheroesatthemagazine，andthenamelessbraveoneinthetelegraphofficewasperhapsalreadyfingeringhislastdespatch；
andjustalittlebeyondLeven，LargoLawandthesmokeofLargotownmountingaboutitsfeet，thetownofAlexanderSelkirk，betterknownunderthenameofRobinsonCrusoe。Soon，thelistmightbepursuedonlyforprivatereasons，whichthereaderwillshortlyhaveanopportunitytoguessbySt。Monance，andPittenweem，andthetwoAnstruthers，andCellardyke，andCrail，wherePrimateSharpewasonceahumbleandinnocentcountryminister:ontotheheeloftheland，toFifeNess，overlookedbyasea-woodofmattedeldersandthequaintoldmansionofBalcomie，itselfoverlookingbutthebreachorthequiescenceofthedeep-theCarrRockbeaconrisingcloseinfront，andasnightdrawsin，thestaroftheInchcapereefspringingupontheonehand，andthestaroftheMayIslandontheother，andfartheroffyetathirdandagreateronthecraggyforelandofSt。Abb\'s。Andbutalittlewayroundthecorneroftheland，imminentitselfabovethesea，standsthegemoftheprovinceandthelightofmediaevalScotland，St。Andrews，wherethegreatCardinalBeatonheldgarrisonagainsttheworld，andthesecondofthenameandtitleperishedasyoumayreadinKnox\'sjeeringnarrativeundertheknivesoftrue-blueProtestants，andtothisdayaftersomanycenturiesthecurrentvoiceoftheprofessorisnothushed。