Hehadnaturallyrepressedmuch,andsomerevulsionmighthavebeenexpectedinhimwhentheoccasionforrepressionwasgone.But,itwastheoldscaredlostlookthattroubledMr.Lorry;andthroughhisabsentmannerofclaspinghishead\'anddrearilywanderingawayintohisownroomwhentheygotup-stairs,Mr.LorrywasremindedofDefargethewine-shopkeeper,andthestarlightride.
`Ithink,\'hewhisperedtoMissPross,afteranxiousconsideration,`Ithinkwehadbestnotspeaktohimjustnow,oratalldisturbhim.ImustlookinatTellson\'s;soIwillgothereatonceandcomebackpresently.Then,wewilltakehimarideintothecountry,anddinethere,andallwillbewell.\'
ItwaseasierforMr.LorrytolookinatTellson\'s,thantolookoutofTellson\'s.Hewasdetainedtwohours.Whenhecameback,heascendedtheoldstaircasealone,havingaskednoquestionoftheservant;goingthusintotheDoctorsrooms,hewasstoppedbyalowsoundofknocking.
`GoodGod!\'hesaid,withastart.`What\'sthat?\'
MissPross,withaterrifiedface,wasathisear.`Ome,Ome!Allislost!\'criedshe,wringingherhands.`WhatistobetoldtoLadybird?Hedoesn\'tknowme,andismakingshoes!\'
Mr.Lorrysaidwhathecouldtocalmher,andwenthimselfintotheDoctor\'sroom.Thebenchwasturnedtowardsthelight,asithadbeenwhenhehadseentheshoemakerathisworkbefore,andhisheadwasbentdown,andhewasverybusy.
`DoctorManette.Mydearfriend,DoctorManette!\'
TheDoctorlookedathimforamoment——halfinquiringly,halfasifhewereangryatbeingspokento——andbentoverhisworkagain.
Hehadlaidasidehiscoatandwaistcoat;hisshirtwasopenatthethroat,asitusedtobewhenhedidthatwork;andeventheoldhaggard,fadedsurfaceoffacehadcomebacktohim.Heworkedhard——impatiently——asifinsomesenseofhavingbeeninterrupted.
Mr.Lorryglancedattheworkinhishand,andobservedthatitwasashoeoftheoldsizeandshape.Hetookupanotherthatwaslyingbyhim,andaskedwhatitwas?
`Ayounglady\'swalkingshoe,\'hemuttered,withoutlookingup\'`Itoughttohavebeenfinishedlongago.Letitbe.\'
`But,DoctorManette.Lookatme\'
Heobeyed,intheoldmechanicallysubmissivemanner,withoutpausinginhiswork.
`Youknowme,mydearfriend?Thinkagain.Thisisnotyourproperoccupation.Think,dearfriend!\'
Nothingwouldinducehimtospeakmore.Helookedup,foraninstantatatime,whenhewasrequestedtodoso;but,nopersuasionwouldextractawordfromhim.Heworked,andworked,andworked,insilence,andwordsfellonhimastheywouldhavefallenonanecholesswall,orontheair.TheonlyrayofhopethatMr.Lorrycoulddiscover,was,thathesometimesfurtivelylookedupwithoutbeingasked.Inthat,thereseemedafaintexpressionofcuriosityorperplexity——asthoughheweretryingtoreconcilesomedoubtsinhismind.
TwothingsatonceimpressedthemselvesonMr.Lorry,asimportantaboveallothers;thefirst,thatthismustbekeptsecretfromLucie;thesecondthatitmustbekeptsecretfromallwhoknewhim.InconjunctionwithMissPross,hetookimmediatestepstowardsthelatterprecaution,bygivingoutthattheDoctorwasnotwell,andrequiredafewdaysofcompleterest.Inaidofthekinddeceptiontobepractisedonhisdaughter,MissProsswastowrite,describinghishavingbeencalledawayprofessionally,andreferringtoanimaginaryletteroftwoorthreehurriedlinesinhisownhand,representedtohavebeenaddressedtoherbythesamepost.
Thesemeasures,advisabletobetakeninanycase,Mr.Lorrytookinthehopeofhiscomingtohimself.Ifthatshouldhappensoon,hekeptanothercourseinreserve;whichwas,tohaveacertainopinionthathethoughtthebest,ontheDoctor\'scase.
Inthehopeofhisrecovery,andofresorttothisthirdcoursebeingtherebyrenderedpracticable,Mr.Lorryresolvedtowatchhimattentively,withaslittleappearanceaspossibleofdoingso.HethereforemadearrangementstoabsenthimselffromTellson\'sforthefirsttimeinhislife,andtookhispostbythewindowinthesameroom.
Hewasnotlongindiscoveringthatitwasworsethanuselesstospeaktohim,since,onbeingpressed,hebecameworried.Heabandonedthatattemptonthefirstday,andresolvedmerelytokeephimselfalwaysbeforehim,asasilentprotestagainstthedelusionintowhichhehadfallen,orwasfalling.Heremained,therefore,inhisseatnearthewindow,readingandwriting,andexpressinginasmanypleasantandnaturalwaysashecouldthinkofthatitwasafreeplace.
DoctorManettetookwhatwasgivenhimtoeatanddrink,andworkedon,thatfirstday,untilitwastoodarktosee——workedon,halfanhourafterMr.Lorrycouldnothaveseen,forhislife,toreadorwrite.Whenheputhistoolsasideasuseless,untilmorning,Mr.Lorryroseandsaidtohim:
`Willyougoout?\'\"
Helookeddownattheflooroneithersideofhimintheoldmanner,lookedupintheoldmanner,andrepeatedintheoldlowvoice:
`Out?\'
`Yes;forawalkwithme.Whynot?\'
Hemadenoefforttosaywhynot,andsaidnotawordmore.But,Mr.Lorrythoughthesaw,asheleanedforwardonhisbenchinthedusk,withhiselbowsonhiskneesandhisheadinhishands,thathewasinsomemistywayaskinghimself`Whynot?\'Thesagacityofthemanofbusinessperceivedanadvantagehere,anddeterminedtoholdit.
MissProssandhedividedthenightintotwowatches,andobservedhimatintervalsfromtheadjoiningroom.Hepacedupanddownforalongtimebeforehelaydown;but,whenhedidfinallylayhimselfdown,hefellasleep.Inthemorning,hewasupbetimes,andwentstraighttohisbenchandtowork.
Onthissecondday,Mr.Lorrysalutedhimcheerfullybyhisname,andspoketohimontopicsthathadbeenoflatefamiliartothem.Hereturnednoreply,butitwasevidentthatheheardwhatwassaid,andthathethoughtaboutit,howeverconfusedly.ThisencouragedMr.LorrytohaveMissProssinwithherwork,severaltimesduringtheday;atthosetimes,theyquietlyspokeofLucie,andofherfatherthenpresent,preciselyintheusualmanner,andasiftherewerenothingamiss.Thiswasdonewithoutanydemonstrativeaccompaniment,notlongenough,oroftenenoughtoharasshim;anditlightenedMr.Lorry\'sfriendlyhearttobelievethathelookedupoftener,andthatheappearedtobestirredbysomeperceptionofinconsistenciessurroundinghim.
Whenitfelldarkagain,Mr.Lorryaskedhimasbefore:
`DearDoctor,willyougoout?\'
Asbefore,herepeated,`Out?\'
`Yes;forawalkwithme.Whynot?\'
Thistime,Mr.Lorryfeignedtogooutwhenhecouldextractnoanswerfromhim,and,afterremainingabsentforanhour,returned.Inthemeanwhile,theDoctorhadremovedtotheseatinthewindow,andhadsattherelookingdownattheplane-tree;but,onMr.Lorry\'sreturn,heslippedawaytohisbench.
Thetimewentveryslowlyon,andMr.Lorry\'shopedarkened,andhisheartgrewheavieragain,andgrewyetheavierandheaviereveryday.Thethirddaycameandwent,thefourth,thefifth.Fivedays,sixdays,sevendays,eightdays,ninedays.
Withahopeeverdarkening,andwithaheartalwaysgrowingheavierandheavier,Mr.Lorrypassedthroughthisanxioustime.Thesecretwaswellkept,andLuciewasunconsciousandhappy;buthecouldnotfailtoobservethattheshoemaker,whosehandhadbeenalittleoutatfirst,wasgrowingdreadfullyskilful,andthathehadneverbeensointentonhiswork,andthathishandshadneverbeensonimbleandexpert,asintheduskoftheninthevening.
CHAPTERXIX
AnOpinion
WORNoutbyanxiouswatching,Mr.Lorryfellasleepathispost.Onthetenthmorningofhissuspense,hewasstartledbytheshiningofthesunintotheroomwhereaheavyslumberhadovertakenhimwhenitwasdarknight.
Herubbedhiseyesandrousedhimself;buthedoubted,whenhehaddoneso,whetherhewasnotstillasleep.For,goingtothedooroftheDoctor\'sroomandlookingin,heperceivedthattheshoemaker\'sbenchandtoolswereputasideagain,andthattheDoctorhimselfsatreadingatthewindow.Hewasinhisusualmorningdress,andhisfacewhichMr.Lorrycoulddistinctlysee,thoughstillverypale,wascalmlystudiousandattentive.
Evenwhenhehadsatisfiedhimselfthathewasawake,Mr.Lorryfeltgiddilyuncertainforsomefewmomentswhetherthelateshoemakingmightnotbeadisturbeddreamofhisown;for,didnothiseyesshowhimhisfriendbeforehiminhisaccustomedclothingandaspect,andemployedasusual;andwasthereanysignwithintheirrange,thatthechangeofwhichhehadsostronganimpressionhadactuallyhappened?
Itwasbuttheinquiryofhisfirstconfusionandastonishment,theanswerbeingobvious.Iftheimpressionwerenotproducedbyarealcorrespondingandsufficientcause,howcamehe,JarvisLorry,there?Howcamehetohavefallenasleep,inhisclothes,onthesofainDr.Manette\'sconsulting-room,andtobedebatingthesepointsoutsidetheDoctor\'sbedroomdoorintheearlymorning?
Withinafewminutes,MissProssstoodwhisperingathisside.Ifhehadhadanyparticleofdoubtleft,hertalkwouldofnecessityhaveresolvedit;buthewasbythattimeclearheaded,andhadnone.Headvisedthattheyshouldletthetimegobyuntiltheregularbreakfast-hour,andshouldthenmeettheDoctorasifnothingunusualhadoccurred.Ifheappearedtobeinhiscustomarystateofmind,Mr.Lorrywouldthencautiouslyproceedtoseekdirectionandguidancefromtheopinionhehadbeen,inhisanxiety,soanxioustoobtain.
MissProsssubmittingherselftohisjudgment,theschemewasworkedoutwithcare.Havingabundanceoftimeforhisusualmethodicaltoilette,Mr.Lorrypresentedhimselfatthebreakfast-hourinhisusualwhitelinen,andwithhisusualneatleg.TheDoctorwassummonedintheusualway,andcametobreakfast.
SofarasitwaspossibletocomprehendhimwithoutoversteppingthosedelicateandgradualapproacheswhichMr.Lorryfelttobetheonlysafeadvance,heatfirstsupposedthathisdaughter\'smarriagehadtakenplaceyesterday.Anincidentalallusion,purposelythrownout,tothedayoftheweek,andthedayofthemonth,sethimthinkingandcounting,andevidentlymadehimuneasy.Inallotherrespects,however,hewassocomposedlyhimself,thatMr.Lorrydeterminedtohavetheaidhesought.Andthataidwashisown.
Therefore,whenthebreakfastwasdoneandclearedaway,andheandtheDoctorwerelefttogether,Mr.Lorrysaid,feelingly:
`MydearManette,Iamanxioustohaveyouropinion,inconfidence,onaverycuriouscaseinwhichIamdeeplyinterested;thatistosay,itisverycurioustome;perhaps,toyourbetterinformationitmaybelessso.\'
Glancingathishands,whichwerediscolouredbyhislatework,theDoctorlookedtroubled,andlistenedattentively.Hehadalreadyglancedathishandsmorethanonce.
`DoctorManette,\'saidMr.Lorry,touchinghimaffectionatelyonthearm,`thecaseisthecaseofaparticularlydearfriendofmine.Praygiveyourmindtoit,andadvisemewellforhissake——andaboveall,forhisdaughter\'s——hisdaughter\'s,mydearManette.\'
`IfIunderstand,\'saidtheDoctor,inasubduedtone,`somementalshock——?\'
`Yes!\'
`Beexplicit,\'saidtheDoctor.`Sparenodetail.\'
Mr.Lorrysawthattheyunderstoodoneanother,andproceeded.
`MydearManette,itisthecaseofanoldandaprolongedshock,ofgreatacutenessandseveritytotheaffections,thefeelings,the——the——asyouexpressit——themind.Themind.Itisthecaseofashockunderwhichthesuffererwasbornedown,onecannotsayforhowlong,becauseIbelievehecannotcalculatethetimehimself,andtherearenoothermeansofgettingatit.Itisthecaseofashockfromwhichthesuffererrecovered,byaprocessthathecannottracehimself——asIonceheardhimpubliclyrelateinastrikingmanner.Itisthecaseofashockfromwhichhehasrecovered,socompletely,astobeahighlyintelligentman,capableofcloseapplicationofmind,andgreatexertionofbody,andofconstantlymakingfreshadditionstohisstockofknowledge,whichwasalreadyverylarge.But,unfortunately,therehasbeen\'——hepausedaddtookadeepbreath——`aslightrelapse.\'
TheDoctor,inalowvoice,asked,`Ofhowlongduration?\'
`Ninedaysandnights.\'
`Howdiditshowitself?Iinfer,\'glancingathishandsagain,`intheresumptionofsomeoldpursuitconnectedwiththeshock?\'
`Thatisthefact.\'
`Now,didyoueverseehim,\'askedtheDoctor,distinctlyandcollectedly,thoughinthesamelowvoice,`engagedinthatpursuitoriginally?\'
`Once.\'
`Andwhentherelapsefellonhim,washeinmostrespects——orinallrespects——ashewasthen?\'
`Ithinkinallrespects.\'
`Youspokeofhisdaughter.Doeshisdaughterknowoftherelapse?\'
`No.Ithasbeenkeptfromher,andIhopewillalwaysbekeptfromher.Itisknownonlytomyself,andtooneotherwhomaybetrusted.\'
TheDoctorgraspedhishand,andmurmured,`Thatwasverykind.Thatwasverythoughtful!\'Mr.Lorrygraspedhishandinreturn,andneitherofthetwospokeforalittlewhile.
`Now,mydearManette,\'saidMr.Lorry,atlength,inhismostconsiderateandmostaffectionateway,`Iamameremanofbusiness,andunfittocopewithsuchintricateanddifficultmatters.Idonotpossessthekindofinformationnecessary;Idonotpossessthekindofintelligence;Iwantguiding.ThereisnomaninthisworldonwhomIcouldsorelyforrightguidance,asonyou.Tellme,howdoesthisrelapsecomeabout?Istheredangerofanother?Couldarepetitionofitbeprevented?Howshouldarepetitionofitbetreated?Howdoesitcomeaboutatall?WhatcanIdoformyfriend?Nomanevercanhavebeenmoredesirousinhishearttoserveafriend,thanIamtoservemine,ifIknewhow.ButIdon\'tknowhowtooriginate,insuchacase.Ifyoursagacity,knowledge,andexperience,couldputmeontherighttrack,Imightbeabletodosomuch;unenlightenedandundirected,Icandosolittle.Praydiscussitwithme;prayenablemetoseeitalittlemoreclearly,andteachmehowtobealittlemoreuseful.\'
DoctorManettesatmeditatingaftertheseearnestwordswerespoken,andMr.Lorrydidnotpresshim.
`Ithinkso\'itprobable,\'saidtheDoctor,breakingsilencewithaneffort,`thattherelapseyouhavedescribed,mydearfriend,wasnotquiteunforeseenbyitssubject.\'
`Wasitdreadedbyhim?\'Mr.Lorryventuredtoask.
`Verymuch.\'Hesaiditwithaninvoluntaryshudder.
`Youhavenoideahowsuchanapprehensionweighsonthesufferer\'smind,andhowdifficult——howalmostimpossible——itis,forhimtoforcehimselftoutteraworduponthetopicthatoppresseshim.\'
`Wouldhe,\'askedMr.Lorry,`hesensiblyrelievedifhecouldprevailuponhimselftoimpartthatsecretbroodingtoanyone,whenitisonhim?\'
`Ithinkso.Butitis,asIhavetoldyou,nexttoimpossible.Ievenbelieveit——insomecases——tobequiteimpossible.\'
`Now,\'saidMr.Lorry,gentlylayinghishandontheDoctor\'sarmagain,afterashortsilenceonbothsides,`towhatwouldyoureferthisattack?\'
`Ibelieve,\'returnedDoctorManette,`thattherehadbeenastrongandextraordinaryrevivalofthetrainofthoughtandremembrancethatwasthefirstcauseofthemalady.Someintenseassociationsofamostdistressingnaturewerevividlyrecalled,Ithink.Itisprobablethattherehadlongbeenadreadlurkinginhismind,thatthoseassociationswouldberecalled——say,undercertaincircumstances——say,onaparticularoccasion.Hetriedtopreparehimselfinvain;perhapstheefforttopreparehimselfmadehimlessabletobearit.\'
`Wouldherememberwhattookplaceintherelapse?\'askedMr.Lorry,withnaturalhesitation.
TheDoctorlookeddesolatelyroundtheroom,shookhishead,andanswered,inalowvoice,`Notatall.\'
`Now,astothefuture,\'hintedMr.Lorry.
`Astothefuture,\'saidtheDoctor,recoveringfirmness,`Ishouldhavegreathope.AsitpleasedHeaveninitsmercytorestorehimsosoon,Ishouldhavegreathope.He;yieldingunderthepressureofacomplicatedsomething,longdreadedandlongvaguelyforeseenandcontendedagainst,andrecoveringafterthecloudhadburstandpassed,Ishouldhopethattheworstwasover.\'
`Well,well!That\'sgoodcomfort.Iamthankful!\'saidMr.Lorry.
`Iamthankful!\'repeatedtheDoctor,bendinghisheadwithreverence.
`Therearetwootherpoints,\'saidMr.Lorry,`onwhichIamanxioustobeinstructed.Imaygoon?
`Youcannotdoyourfriendabetterservice.\'TheDoctorgavehimhishand.
`Tothefirst,then.Heisofastudioushabit,andunusuallyenergetic;heapplieshimselfwithgreatardourtotheacquisitionofprofessionalknowledge,totheconductingofexperiments,tomanythings.Now,doeshedotoomuch?\'
`Ithinknot.Itmaybethecharacterofhismind,tobealwaysinsingularneedofoccupation.Thatmaybe,inpart,naturaltoit;inpart,theresultofaffliction.Thelessitwasoccupiedwithhealthythings,themoreitwouldbeindangerofturningintheunhealthydirection.Hemayhaveobservedhimself,andmadethediscovery.\'
`Youaresurethatheisnotundertoogreatastrain?\'
`IthinkIamquitesureofit.\'
`MydearManette,ifhewereoverworkednow\'
`MydearLorry,Idoubtifthatcouldeasilybe.Therehasbeenaviolentstressinonedirection,anditneedsacounter-weight.\'
`Excuseme,asapersistentmanofbusiness.Assumingforamoment,thathewasoverworked;itwouldshowitselfinsomerenewalofthisdisorder?\'
`Idonotthinkso.Idonotthink,\'saidDoctorManettewiththefirmnessofself-conviction,`thatanythingbuttheonetrainofassociationwouldrenewit.Ithinkthat,hence-forth,nothingbutsomeextraordinaryjarringofthatchordcouldrenewit.Alterwhathashappened,andafterhisrecovery,Ifinditdifficulttoimagineanysuchviolentsoundingofthatstringagain.Itrust,andIalmostbelieve,thatthecircumstanceslikelytorenewitareexhausted.\'
Hespokewiththediffidenceofamanwhoknewhowslightathingwouldoversetthedelicateorganisationofthemind,andyetwiththeconfidenceofamanwhohadslowlywonhisassuranceoutofpersonalenduranceanddistress.Itwasnotforhisfriendtoabatethatconfidence.Heprofessedhimselfmorerelievedandencouragedthanhereallywas,andapproachedhissecondandlastpoint.Hefeltittobethemostdifficultofall;but,rememberinghisoldSundaymorningconversationwithMissPross,andrememberingwhathehadseeninthelastninedays,heknewthathemustfaceit.
`Theoccupationresumedundertheinfluenceofthispassingafflictionsohappilyrecoveredfrom,\'saidMr.Lorry,clearinghisthroat,`wewillcall-Blacksmith\'swork,Blacksmith\'swork.Wewillsay,toputacaseandforthesakeofillustration,thathehadbeenused,inhisbadtime,toworkatalittleforge.Wewillsaythathewasunexpectedlyfoundathisforgeagain.Isitnotapitythatheshouldkeepitbyhim?\'
TheDoctorshadedhisforeheadwithhishand,andbeathisfootnervouslyontheground.
`Hehasalwayskeptitbyhim,\'saidMr.Lorry,withananxiouslookathisfriend.`Now,woulditnotbebetterthatheshouldletitgo?\'
Still,theDoctor,withshadedforehead,beathisfootnervouslyontheground.
`Youdonotfinditeasytoadviseme?\'saidMr.Lorry.
`Iquiteunderstandittobeanicequestion.AndyetIthink——\'Andthereheshookhishead,andstopped.
`Yousee,\'saidDoctorManette,turningtohimafteranuneasypause,`itisveryhardtoexplain,consistently,theinnermostworkingsofthispoorman\'smind.Heonceyearnedsofrightfullyforthatoccupation,anditwassowelcomewhenitcame;nodoubtitrelievedhispainsomuch,bysubstitutingtheperplexityofthefingersfortheperplexityofthebrain,andbysubstituting,ashebecamemorepractised,theingenuityofthehands,fortheingenuityofthementaltorture;thathehasneverbeenabletobearthethoughtofputtingitquiteoutofhisreach.Evennow,whenIbelieveheismorehopefulofhimselfthanhehaseverbeen,andevenspeaksofhimselfwithakindofconfidence,theideathathemightneedthatoldemployment,andnotfindit,giveshimasuddensenseofterror,likethatwhichonemayfancystrikestotheheartofalostchild.\'
Helookedlikehisillustration,asheraisedhiseyestoMr.Lob\'sface.`Butmaynot——mind!Iaskforinformation,asaploddingmanofbusinesswhoonlydealswithsuchmaterialobjectsasguineas,shillings,andbank-notes——maynottheretentionofthethinginvolvetheretentionoftheidea?Ifthethingweregone,mydearManette,mightnotthefeargowithit?Inshort,isitnotaconcessiontothemisgiving,tokeeptheforge?\'
Therewasanothersilence.
`Yousee,too,\'saidtheDoctor,tremulously,`itissuchanoldcompanion.\'
`Iwouldnotkeepit,\'saidMr.Lorry,shakinghishead;forhegainedinfirmnessashesawtheDoctordisquieted.`Iwouldrecommendhimtosacrificeit.Ionlywantyourauthority.Iamsureitdoesnogood.Come!Givemeyourauthority,likeadeargoodman.Forhisdaughter\'ssake,mydearManette!\'
Verystrangetoseewhatastruggletherewaswithinhim!`Inhername,then,letitbedone;Isanctionit.But,Iwouldnottakeitawaywhilehewaspresent.Letitberemovedwhenheisnotthere;lethimmisshisoldcompanionafteranabsence.\'
Mr.Lorryreadilyengagedforthat,andtheconferencewasended.Theypassedthedayinthecountry,andtheDoctorwasquiterestored.Onthethreefollowingdaysheremainedperfectlywell,andonthefourteenthdayhewentawaytojoinLucieandherhusband.Theprecautionthathadbeentakentoaccountforhissilence,Mr.Lorryhadpreviouslyexplainedtohim,andhehadwrittentoLucieinaccordancewithit,andshehadnosuspicions.
Onthenightofthedayonwhichheleftthehouse,Mr.Lorrywentintohisroomwithachopper,saw,chisel,andhammer,attendedbyMissProsscarryingalight.There,withcloseddoors,andinamysteriousandguiltymanner,Mr.Lorryhackedtheshoemaker\'sbenchtopieces,whileMissProssheldthecandleasifshewereassistingatamurder——orwhich,indeed,inhergrimness,shewasnounsuitablefigure.Theburningofthebodypreviouslyreducedtopiecesconvenientforthepurposewascommencedwithoutdelayinthekitchenfire;andthetools,shoes,andleather,wereburiedinthegarden.Sowickeddodestructionandsecrecyappeartohonestminds,thatMr.LorryandMissPross,whileenragedinthecommissionoftheirdeedandintheremovalofitstraces,almostfelt,andalmostlooked,likeaccomplicesinahorriblecrime.
CHAPTERXX
APlea
WHENthenewly-marriedpaircamehome,thefirstpersonwhoappeared,toofferhiscongratulations,wasSydneyCarton.Theyhadnotbeenathomemanyhours,whenhepresentedhimself.Hewasnotimprovedinhabits,orinlooks,orinmanner;buttherewasacertainruggedairoffidelityabouthim,whichwasnewtotheobservationofCharlesDarnay.
HewatchedhisopportunityoftakingDarnayasideintoawindow,andofspeakingtohimwhennooneoverheard.
`Mr.Darnay,\'saidCarton,`Iwishwemightbefriends.\'
`Wearealreadyfriends,Ihope.\'
`Youaregoodenoughtosayso,asafashionofspeech;hut,Idon\'tmeananyfashionofspeech.Indeed,whenIsayIwishwemightbefriends,Iscarcelymeanquitethat,either.\'
CharlesDarnay——Aswasnatural——Askedhim,inallgood-humourandgood-fellowship,whathedidmean?
`Uponmylife,\'saidCarton,smiling,`Ifindthateasiertocomprehendinmyownmind,thantoconveytoyours.However,letmetry.YourememberacertainfamousoccasionwhenIwasmoredrunkthan——thanusual?\'
`Irememberacertainfamousoccasionwhenyouforcedmetoconfessthatyouhadbeendrinking.\'
`Irememberittoo.Thecurseofthoseoccasionsisheavyuponme,forIalwaysrememberthem.Ihopeitmaybetakenintoaccountoneday,whenalldaysareatanendforme!Don\'tbealarmed;Iamnotgoingtopreach.\'
`Iamnotatallalarmed.Earnestnessinyouisanythingbutalarmingtome.\'
`Ah!\'saidCarton,withacarelesswaveofhishand,asifhewavedthataway.`Onthedrunkenoccasioninquestiononeofalargenumber,asyouknow,Iwasinsufferableaboutlikingyou,andnotlikingyou.Iwishyouwouldforgetit.\'
`Iforgotitlongago.\'
`Fashionofspeechagain!But,Mr.Darnay,oblivionisnotsoeasytome,asyourepresentittobetoyou.Ihavebynomeansforgottenit,andalightanswerdoesnothelpmetoforgetit.\'
`Ifitwasalightanswer,\'returnedDarnay,`Ibegyourforgivenessforit.Ihadnootherobjectthantoturnaslightthing,which,tomysurprise,seemstotroubleyoutoomuch,aside.Ideclaretoyouonthefaithofagentleman,thatIhavelongdismisseditfrommymind.GoodHeaven,whatwastheretodismiss!HaveIhadnothingmoreimportanttoremember,inthegreatserviceyourenderedmethatday?\'
`Astothegreatservice,\'saidCarton,`Iamboundtoavowtoyou,whenyouspeakofitinthatway,thatitwasmereprofessionalclaptrap.Idon\'tknowthatIcaredwhatbecameofyou,whenIrenderedIt——Mind!IsaywhenIrenderedit;Iamspeakingofthepast.\'
`Youmakelightoftheobligation,\'returnedDarnay,`butIwillnotquarrelwithyourlightanswer.\'
`Genuinetruth,Mr.Darnay,trustme!Ihavegoneasidefrommypurpose;Iwasspeakingaboutourbeingfriends.Now,youknowme;youknowIamincapableofallthehigherandbetterflightsofmen.Ifyoudoubtit,askStryver,andhe\'lltellyouso.\'
`Iprefertoformmyownopinion,withouttheaidofhis.\'
`Well!Atanyrateyouknowmeasadissolutedogwhohasneverdoneanygood,andneverwill.\'
`Idon\'tknowthatyou\"neverwill.\"\'
`ButIdo,andyoumusttakemywordforit.Well!Ifyoucouldenduretohavesuchaworthlessfellow,andafellowofsuchindifferentreputation,comingandgoingatoddtimes,IshouldaskthatImightbepermittedtocomeandgoasaprivilegedpersonhere;thatImightberegardedasanuselessandIwouldadd,ifitwerenotfortheresemblanceIdetectedbetweenyouandme,anunornamental,pieceoffurniture,toleratedforitsoldservice,andtakennonoticeof.IdoubtifIshouldabusethepermission.ItisahundredtooneifIshouldavailmyselfofitfourtimesinayear.Itwouldsatisfyme,Idaresay,toknowthatIhadit.\'
`Willyoutry?\'
`ThatisanotherwayofsayingthatIamplacedonthefootingIhaveindicated.Ithankyou,Darnay.Imayusethatfreedomwithyourname?\'
`Ithinkso,Carton,bythistime.\'
Theyshookhandsuponit,andSydneyturnedaway.Withinaminuteafterwards,hewas,toalloutwardappearance,asunsubstantialasever.
Whenhehasgone,andinthecourseofaneveningpassedwithMissPross,theDoctor,andMr.Lorry,CharlesDarnaymadesomementionofthisconversationingeneralterms,andspokeofSydneyCartonasaproblemofcarelessnessandrecklessness.Hespokeofhim,inshort,notbitterlyormeaningtobearharduponhim,butasanybodymightwhosawhimasheshowedhimself.
Hehadnoideathatthiscoulddwellinthethoughtsofhisfairyoungwife;but,whenheafterwardsjoinedherintheirownrooms,hefoundherwaitingforhimwiththeoldprettyliftingoftheforeheadstronglymarked.
`Wearethoughtfulto-night!\'saidDarnay,drawinghisarmabouther.
`Yes,dearestCharles,\'withherhandsonhisbreast,andtheinquiringandattentiveexpressionfixeduponhim;`weareratherthoughtfulto-night,forwehavesomethingonourmindto-night.\'
`Whatisit,myLucie?\'
`Willyoupromisenottopressonequestiononme,ifIbegyounottoaskit?\'
\"WillIpromise?WhatwillInotpromisetomyLove?\'
What,indeed,withhishandputtingasidethegoldenhairfromthecheek,andhisotherhandagainsttheheartthatbeatforhim!
`Ithink,Charles,poorMr.Cartondeservesmoreconsiderationandrespectthanyouexpressedforhimto-night.\'
`Indeed,myown?Whyso?\'
`Thatiswhatyouarenottoaskme?ButIthink——Iknow——hedoes.\'
`Ifyouknowit,itisenough.Whatwouldyouhavemedo,myLife?\'
`Iwouldaskyou,dearest,tobeverygenerouswithhimalways,andverylenientonhisfaultswhenheisnotby.Iwouldaskyoutobelievethathehasahearthevery,veryseldomreveals,andthattherearedeepwoundsinit.Mydear,Ihaveseenitbleeding.\'
`Itisapainfulreflectiontome,saidCharlesDarnay,quiteastounded,`thatIshouldhavedonehimanywrong.Ineverthoughtthisofhim.\'
`Myhusband,itisso.Ifearheisnottobereclaimed;thereisscarcelyahopethatanythinginhischaracterorfortunesisreparablenow.But,Iamsurethatheiscapableofgoodthings,gentlethings,evenmagnanimousthings.\'
Shelookedsobeautifulinthepurityofherfaithinthislostman,thatherhusbandcouldhavelookedatherasshewasforhours.
`And,OmydearestLove!\'sheurged,clingingnearertohim,layingherheaduponhisbreast,andraisinghereyestohis,`rememberhowstrongweareinourhappiness,andhowweakheisinhismisery!\'
Thesupplicationtouchedhimhome.`Iwillalwaysrememberit,dearHeart!IwillrememberitaslongasIlive.\'
Hebentoverthegoldenhead,andputtherosylipstohis,andfoldedherinhisarms.Ifoneforlornwandererthenpacingthedarkstreets,couldhaveheardherinnocentdisclosure,andcouldhaveseenthedropsofpitykissedawaybyherhusbandfromthesoftblueeyessolovingofthathusband,hemighthavecriedtothenight——andthewordswouldnothavepartedfromhislipsforthefirsttime——
`Godblessherforhersweetcompassion!\'
CHAPTERXXI
EchoingFootsteps
AWONDERFULcornerforechoes,ithasbeenremarked,thatcornerwheretheDoctorlived.Everbusilywindingthegoldenthreadwhichboundherhusband,andherfather,andherself,andherolddirectressandcompanion,inalifeofquietbliss,Luciesatinthestillhouseinthetranquillyresoundingcorner,listeningtotheechoingfootstepsofyears.
Atfirst,thereweretimes,thoughshewasaperfectlyhappyyoungwife,whenherworkwouldslowlyfallfromherhands,andhereyeswouldbedimmed.For,therewassomethingcomingintheechoes,somethinglight,afaroff,andscarcelyaudibleyet,thatstirredherhearttoomuch.Flutteringhopesanddoubts——hope,ofaloveasyetunknowntoher:doubts,ofherremaininguponearth,toenjoythatnewdelight——dividedherbreast.Amongtheechoesthen,therewouldarisethesoundoffootstepsatherownearlygrave;andthoughtsofthehusbandwhowouldbeleftsodesolate,andwhowouldmournforhersomuch,swelledtohereyes,andbrokelikewaves.
Thattimepassed,andherlittleLucielayonherbosom.Then,amongtheadvancingechoes,therewasthetreadofhertinyfeetandthesoundofherprattlingwords.Letgreaterechoesresoundastheywould,theyoungmotheratthecradlesidecouldalwayshearthosecoming.Theycame,andtheshadyhousewassunnywithachild\'slaugh,andtheDivinefriendofchildren,towhominhertroubleshehadconfidedhers,seemedtotakeherchildinHisarms,asHetookthechildofold,andmadeitasacredjoytoher.
Everbusilywindingthegoldenthreadthatboundthemalltogether,weavingtheserviceofherhappyinfluencethroughthetissueofalltheirlives,andmakingitpredominatenowhere,Lucieheardintheechoesofyearsnonebutfriendlyandsoothingsounds.Herhusband\'sstepwasstrongandprosperousamongthem;herfather\'sfirmandequal.Lo,MissPross,inharnessofstring,awakeningtheechoes,asanunrulycharger,whip-corrected,snortingandpawingtheearthundertheplane-treeinthegarden!
Evenwhenthereweresoundsofsorrowamongtherest,theywerenotharshnorcruel.Evenwhengoldenhair,likeherown,layinahaloonapillowroundthewornfaceofalittleboy,andhesaid,witharadiantsmile,`Dearpapaandmamma,Iamverysorrytoleaveyouboth,andtoleavemyprettysister;butIamcalled,andImustgo!\'thosewerenottearsallofagonythatwettedhisyoungmother\'scheek,asthespiritdepartedfromherembracethathadbeenentrustedtoit.Sufferthemandforbidthemnot.TheyseemyFather\'sface.OFather,blessedwords!
Thus,therustlingofanAngel\'swingsgotblendedwiththeotherechoes,andtheywerenotwhollyofearth,buthadinthemthatbreathofHeaven.Sighsofthewindsthatblewoveralittlegarden-tombweremingledwiththemalso,andbothwereaudibletoLucie,inahushedmurmur——likethebreathingofasummerseaasleepuponasandyshore——asthelittleLucie,comicallystudiousatthetaskofthemorning,ordressingadollathermother\'sfootstool,chatteredinthetonguesoftheTwoCitiesthatwereblendedinherlife.
TheechoesrarelyansweredtotheactualtreadofSydneyCarton.Somehalf-dozentimesayear,atmost,heclaimedhisprivilegeofcominginuninvited,andwouldsitamongthemthroughtheevening,ashehadoncedoneoften.Henevercamethereheatedwithwine.Andoneotherthingregardinghimwaswhisperedintheechoes,whichhasbeenwhisperedbyalltrueechoesforagesandages.
Nomaneverreallylovedawoman,losther,andknewherwithablamelessthoughanunchangedmind,whenshewasawifeandamother,butherchildrenhadastrangesympathywithhim——aninstinctivedelicacyofpityforhim.Whatfinehiddensensibilitiesaretouchedinsuchacase,noechoestell;butitisso,anditwassohere.CartonwasthefirststrangertowhomlittleLucieheldoutherchubbyarms,andhekepthisplacewithherasshegrew.Thelittleboyhadspokenofhim,almostatthelast.`PoorCarton!Kisshimforme!\'
Mr.Stryvershoulderedhiswaythroughthelaw,likesomegreatengineforcingitselfthroughturbidwater,anddraggedhisusefulfriendinhiswake,likeaboattowedastern.Astheboatsofavouredisusuallyinaroughplight,andmostlyunderwater,so,Sydneyhadaswampedlifeofit.But,easyandstrongcustom,unhappilysomucheasierandstrongerinhimthananystimulatingsenseofdesertordisgrace,madeitthelifehewastolead;andhenomorethoughtofemergingfromhisstateoflion\'sjackal,thananyrealjackalmaybesupposedtothinkofrisingtobealion.Stryverwasrich;hadmarriedafloridwidowwithpropertyandthreeboys,whohadnothingparticularlyshiningaboutthembutthestraighthairoftheirdumplingheads.
Thesethreeyounggentleman,Mr.Stryver,exudingpatronageofthemostoffensivequalityfromeverypore,hadwalkedbeforehimlikethreesheeptothequietcornerinSoho,andhadofferedaspupilstoLucie\'shusband:delicatelysaying,`Halloa!herearethreelumpsofbread-and-cheesetowardsyourmatrimonialpicnic,Darnay!\'Thepoliterejectionofthethreelumpsofbread-and-cheesehadquitebloatedMr.Stryverwithindignation,whichheafterwardsturnedtoaccountinthetrainingoftheyounggentlemen,bydirectingthemtobewareoftheprideofBeggars,likethattutor-fellow.HewasalsointhehabitofdeclaimingtoMrs.Stryver,overhisfull-bodiedwine,ontheartsMrs.Darnayhadonceputinpracticeto`catch\'him,andonthediamond-cut-diamondartsinhimself,madam,whichhadrenderedhim`nottobecaught.\'SomeofhisKing\'sBenchfamiliars,whowereoccasionallypartiestothefull-bodiedwineandthelie,excusedhimforthelatterbysayingthathehadtolditsooften,thathebelievedithimself——whichissurelysuchanincorrigibleaggravationofanoriginallybadoffence,astojustifyanysuchoffender\'sbeingcarriedofftosomesuitablyretiredspot,andtherehangedoutoftheway.
ThesewereamongtheechoestowhichLucie,sometimespensive,sometimesamusedandlaughing,listenedintheechoingcorner,untilherlittledaughterwassixyearsold.Howneartoherhearttheechoesofherchild\'streadcame,andthoseofherowndearfather\'s,alwaysactiveandself-possessed,andthoseofherdearhusband\'s,neednotbetold.Nor,howthelightestechooftheirunitedhome,directedbyherselfwithsuchawiseandelegantthriftthatitwasmoreabundantthananywaste,wasmusictoher.Nor,howtherewereechoesallabouther,sweetinherears,ofthemanytimesherfatherhadtoldherthathefoundhermoredevotedtohimmarriedifthatcouldbethansingle,andofthemanytimesherhusbandhadsaidtoherthatnocaresanddutiesseemedtodivideherloveforhimorherhelptohim,andaskedher`Whatisthemagicsecret,mydarling,ofyourbeingeverythingtoallofus,asiftherewereonlyoneofus,yetneverseemingtobehurried,ortohavetoomuchtodo?\'
But,therewereotherechoes,fromadistance,thatrumbledmenacinglyinthecornerallthroughthisspaceoftime.Anditwasnow,aboutlittleLucie\'ssixthbirthday,thattheybegantohaveanawfulsound,asofagreatstorminFrancewithadreadfulsearising.
Onanightinmid-July,onethousandsevenhundredandeighty-nine,Mr.Lorrycameinlate,fromTellson\'s,andsathimselfdownbyLucieandherhusbandinthedarkwindow.Itwasahot,wildnight,andtheywereallthreeremindedoftheoldSundaynightwhentheyhadlookedatthelightningfromthesameplace.
`Ibegantothink,\'saidMr.Lorry,pushinghisbrownwigback,`thatIshouldhavetopassthenightatTellson\'s.Wehavebeensofullofbusinessallday,thatwehavenotknownwhattodofirst,orwhichwaytoturn.ThereissuchanuneasinessinParis,thatwehaveactuallyarunofconfidenceuponus!Ourcustomersoverthere,seemnottobeabletoconfidetheirpropertytousfastenough.ThereispositivelyamaniaamongsomeofthemforsendingittoEngland.\'
`Thathasabadlook,\'saidDarnay.
`Abadlook,yousay,mydearDarnay?Yes,butwedon\'tknowwhatreasonthereisinit.Peoplearesounreasonable!SomeofusatTellson\'saregettingold,andwereallycan\'tbetroubledoutoftheordinarycoursewithoutdueoccasion.\'
`Still,\'saidDarnay,`youknowhowgloomyandthreateningtheskyis.\'
`Iknowthat,tobesure,\'assentedMr.Lorry,tryingtopersuadehimselfthathissweettemperwassoured,andthathegrumbled,`butIamdeterminedtobepeevishaftermylongday\'sbotheration.WhereisManette?\'