complimentinghimuponhisstyle，acknowledgingthegeneralsoundnessofhisviews，andonlydifferingwithhimintheaffairoftheappleandpear。
Ididnotlikereviewingatall-itwasnottomytaste；itwasnotinmyway；Ilikeditfarlessthantranslatingthepublisher’sphilosophy，forthatwassomethinginthelineofonewhomacompetentjudgehadsurnamedLavengro。Inevercouldunderstandwhyreviewswereinstituted；worksofmeritdonotrequiretobereviewed，theycanspeakforthemselves，andrequirenopraising；
worksofnomeritatallwilldieofthemselves，theyrequirenokilling。TheReviewtowhichIwasattachedwas，ashasbeenalreadyintimated，establishedonanentirelynewplan；itprofessedtoreviewallnewpublications，whichcertainlynoReviewhadeverprofessedtodobefore，otherReviewsneverpretendingtoreviewmorethanone-tenthofthecurrentliteratureoftheday。
WhenIsayitprofessedtoreviewallnewpublications，Ishouldadd，whichshouldbesenttoit；for，ofcourse，theReviewwouldnotacknowledgetheexistenceofpublications，theauthorsofwhichdidnotacknowledgetheexistenceoftheReview。Idon’tthink，however，thattheReviewhadmuchcausetocomplainofbeingneglected；Ihavereasontobelievethatatleastnine-tenthsofthepublicationsofthedayweresenttotheReview，andinduetimereviewed。Ihadgoodopportunityofjudging-IwasconnectedwithseveraldepartmentsoftheReview，thoughmoreparticularlywiththepoeticalandphilosophicones。AnEnglishtranslationofKant’sphilosophymadeitsappearanceonmytablethedaybeforeitspublication。InmynoticeofthisworkIsaidthattheEnglishshortlyhopedtogivetheGermansaQUIDPROQUO。Ibelieveatthattimeauthorsweremuchinthehabitofpublishingattheirownexpense。AllthepoetrywhichIreviewedappearedtobepublishedattheexpenseoftheauthors。IfIamaskedhowIcomportedmyself，underallcircumstances，asareviewer-Ianswer，-IdidnotforgetthatIwasconnectedwithaReviewestablishedonOxfordprinciples，theeditorofwhichhadtranslatedQuintilian。AllthepublicationswhichfellundermynoticeItreatedinagentlemanlyandOxford-likemanner，nopersonalities-novituperation-noshabbyinsinuations；decorum，decorumwastheorderoftheday。
Occasionallyawordofadmonition，butgentlyexpressed，asanOxfordundergraduatemighthaveexpressedit，ormasterofarts。
HowtheauthorswhosepublicationswereconsignedtomycolleaguesweretreatedbythemIknownot；IsupposetheyweretreatedinanurbaneandOxford-likemanner，butIcannotsay；Ididnotreadthereviewalsofmycolleagues，Ididnotreadmyownaftertheywereprinted。Ididnotlikereviewing。
OfallmyoccupationsatthisperiodIamfreetoconfessIlikedthatofcompilingtheNEWGATELIVESANDTRIALSthebest；thatis，afterIhadsurmountedakindofprejudicewhichIoriginallyentertained。Thetrialswereentertainingenough；butthelives-
howfullweretheyofwildandracyadventures，andinwhatracy，genuinelanguageweretheytold!Whatstruckmemostwithrespecttotheseliveswastheartwhichthewriters，whoevertheywere，possessedoftellingaplainstory。Itisnoeasythingtotellastoryplainlyanddistinctlybymouth；buttotelloneonpaperisdifficultindeed，somanysnareslieintheway。Peopleareafraidtoputdownwhatiscommononpaper，theyseektoembellishtheirnarratives，astheythink，byphilosophicspeculationsandreflections；theyareanxioustoshine，andpeoplewhoareanxioustoshinecannevertellaplainstory。’SoIwentwiththemtoamusicbooth，wheretheymademealmostdrunkwithgin，andbegantotalktheirflashlanguage，whichIdidnotunderstand，’says，orismadetosay，HenrySimms，executedatTyburnsomeseventyyearsbeforethetimeofwhichIamspeaking。Ihavealwayslookeduponthissentenceasamasterpieceofthenarrativestyle，itissoconciseandyetsoveryclear。AsIgazedonpassageslikethis，andthereweremanynearlyasgoodintheNewgatelives，IoftensighedthatitwasnotmyfortunetohavetorendertheselivesintoGermanratherthanthepublisher’sphilosophy-histaleofanappleandpear。
Minewasanill-regulatedmindatthisperiod。AsIreadoverthelivesoftheserobbersandpickpockets，strangedoubtsbegantoariseinmymindaboutvirtueandcrime。Yearsbefore，whenquiteaboy，asinoneoftheearlychaptersIhavehinted，Ihadbeenanecessitarian；IhadevenwrittenanessayoncrimeIhaveitnowbeforeme，pennedinaroundboyishhand，inwhichIattemptedtoprovethatthereisnosuchthingascrimeorvirtue，allouractionsbeingtheresultofcircumstancesornecessity。Thesedoubtswerenowagainrevivinginmymind；Icouldnot，forthelifeofme，imaginehow，takingallcircumstancesintoconsideration，thesehighwaymen，thesepickpockets，shouldhavebeenanythingelsethanhighwaymenandpickpockets；anymorethanhow，takingallcircumstancesintoconsideration，BishopLatimerthereaderisawarethatIhadreadFoxe’sBOOKOFMARTYRSshouldhavebeenanythingelsethanBishopLatimer。Ihadaveryill-
regulatedmindatthatperiod。
Myownpeculiarideaswithrespecttoeverythingbeingalyingdreambeganalsotorevive。Sometimesatmidnight，afterhavingtoiledforhoursatmyoccupations，Iwouldflingmyselfbackonmychair，lookaboutthepoorapartment，dimlylightedbyanunsnuffedcandle，orupontheheapsofbooksandpapersbeforeme，andexclaim，-’DoIexist？Dothesethings，whichIthinkIseeaboutme，exist，ordotheynot？Isnoteverythingadream-adeceitfuldream？Isnotthisapartmentadream-thefurnitureadream？Thepublisheradream-hisphilosophyadream？AmInotmyselfadream-dreamingabouttranslatingadream？Ican’tseewhyallshouldnotbeadream；what’stheuseofthereality？’AndthenI
wouldpinchmyself，andsnufftheburdenedsmokylight。’Ican’tsee，forthelifeofme，theuseofallthis；thereforewhyshouldIthinkthatitexists？Iftherewasachance，aprobability，ofallthistendingtoanything，Imightbelieve；but-’andthenI
wouldstareandthink，andaftersometimeshakemyheadandreturnagaintomyoccupationsforanhourortwo；andthenIwouldperhapsshake，andshiver，andyawn，andlookwistfullyinthedirectionofmysleepingapartment；andthen，butnotwistfully，atthepapersandbooksbeforeme；andsometimesIwouldreturntomypapersandbooks；butoftenerIwouldarise，and，afteranotheryawnandshiver，takemylight，andproceedtomysleepingchamber。
Theysaythatlightfarebegetslightdreams；myfareatthattimewaslightenough；butIhadanythingbutlightdreams，foratthatperiodIhadallkindofstrangeandextravagantdreams，andamongstotherthingsIdreamtthatthewholeworldhadtakentodog-fighting；andthatI，myself，hadtakentodog-fighting，andthatinavastcircusIbackedanEnglishbulldogagainstthebloodhoundofthePopeofRome。
CHAPTERXXXVII
Mybrother-Fitsofcrying-Mayor-elect-Thecommittee-TheNormanarch-AwordofGreek-ChurchandState-Atmyownexpense-Ifyouplease。
ONEmorningIarosesomewhatlaterthanusual，havingbeenoccupiedduringthegreaterpartofthenightwithmyliterarytoil。Ondescendingfrommychamberintothesitting-roomIfoundapersonseatedbythefire，whoseglancewasdirectedsidewaystothetable，onwhichweretheusualpreparationsformymorning’smeal。
ForthwithIgaveacry，andsprangforwardtoembracetheperson；
forthepersonbythefire，whoseglancewasdirectedtothetable，wasnooneelsethanmybrother。
’Andhowarethingsgoingonathome？’saidItomybrother，afterwehadkissedandembraced。’Howismymother，andhowisthedog？’
’Mymother，thankGod，istolerablywell，’saidmybrother，’butverymuchgiventofitsofcrying。Asforthedog，heisnotsowell；butwewilltalkmoreofthesemattersanon，’saidmybrother，againglancingatthebreakfastthings：’Iamveryhungry，asyoumaysuppose，afterhavingtravelledallnight。’
ThereuponIexertedmyselftothebestofmyabilitytoperformthedutiesofhospitality，andImademybrotherwelcome-Imaysaymorethanwelcome；and，whentherageofmybrother’shungerwassomewhatabated，werecommencedtalkingaboutthemattersofourlittlefamily，andmybrothertoldmemuchaboutmymother；hespokeofherfitsofcrying，butsaidthatoflatethesaidfitsofcryinghadmuchdiminished，andsheappearedtobetakingcomfort；
and，ifIamnotmuchmistaken，mybrothertoldmethatmymotherhadoflatethePrayer-bookfrequentlyinherhand，andyetoftenertheBible。
Weweresilentforatime-atlastIopenedmymouthandmentionedthedog。
’Thedog，’saidmybrother，’is，Iamafraid，inaverypoorway；
eversincethedeathhehasdonenothingbutpineandtakeon。A
fewmonthsago，youremember，hewasasplumpandfineasanydoginthetown；butatpresentheislittlemorethanskinandbone。
Oncewelosthimfortwodays，andneverexpectedtoseehimagain，imaginingthatsomemischancehadbefallenhim；atlengthIfoundhim-wheredoyouthink？Chancingtopassbythechurchyard，I
foundhimseatedonthegrave!’
’Verystrange，’saidI；’butletustalkofsomethingelse。Itwasverykindofyoutocomeandseeme。’
’Oh，asforthatmatter，Ididnotcomeuptoseeyou，thoughofcourseIamverygladtoseeyou，havingbeenratheranxiousaboutyou，likemymother，whohasreceivedonlyoneletterfromyousinceyourdeparture。No，Ididnotcomeuponpurposetoseeyou；
butonquiteadifferentaccount。Youmustknowthatthecorporationofourtownhavelatelyelectedanewmayor，apersonofmanyqualifications-bigandportly，withavoicelikeBoanerges；areligiousman，thepossessorofanimmensepew；loyal，somuchsothatIonceheardhimsaythathewouldatanytimegothreemilestohearanyonesing“GodsavetheKing“；moreover，agiverofexcellentdinners。Suchisourpresentmayor；who，owingtohisloyalty，hisreligion，andalittle，perhaps，tohisdinners，isamightyfavourite；somuchsothatthetownisanxioustohavehisportraitpaintedinasuperiorstyle，sothatremoteposteritymayknowwhatkindofmanhewas，thecolourofhishair，hisairandgait。Soacommitteewasformedsometimeago，whichisstillsitting；thatis，theydinewiththemayoreverydaytotalkoverthesubject。Afewdayssince，tomygreatsurprise，theymadetheirappearanceinmypoorstudio，anddesiredtobefavouredwithasightofsomeofmypaintings；well，Ishowedthemsome，and，afterlookingatthemwithgreatattention，theywentasideandwhispered。“He’lldo，“Iheardonesay；“Yes，he’lldo，“
saidanother；andthentheycametome，andoneofthem，alittlemanwithahumponhisback，whoisawatchmaker，assumedtheofficeofspokesman，andmadealongspeech-theoldtownhasbeenalwayscelebratedfororators-inwhichhetoldmehowmuchtheyhadbeenpleasedwithmyproductions-theoldtownhasbeenalwayscelebratedforitsartistictaste-and，whatdoyouthink？