I’llbeasdeepashim,andtakenomorenoticeoftheaffairtillhecomeshomeandtellsmehimself。’SoalthoughthesquirewasalwaysdelightedtoreceivethelittlenoteswhichCynthiasenttohimeverytimesheheardfromRoger,andalthoughthisattentiononherpartwasmeltingthehearthetriedtoharden,hecontrolledhimselfintowritingherthebriefestacknowledgements。Hiswordswerestronginmeaning,butformalinexpression;sheherselfdidnotthinkmuchaboutthem,beingsatisfiedtodothekindactionsthatcalledthemforth。Buthermothercriticizedthemandponderedthem。Shethoughtshehadhitonthetruthwhenshehaddecidedinherownmindthatitwasaveryold—fashionedstyle,andthatheandhishouseandhisfurnitureallwantedsomeofthebrighteningupandpolishingwhichtheyweresuretoreceive,when——sheneverquitelikedtofinishthesentencedefinitely,althoughshekeptrepeatingtoherselfthat’therewasnoharminit。’Toreturntothesquire。Occupiedashenowwas,herecoveredhisformerhealth,andsomethingofhisformercheerfulness。IfOsbornehadmethimhalf—way,itisprobablethattheoldbondbetweenfatherandsonmighthavebeenrenewed;butOsborneeitherwasreallyaninvalid,orhadsunkintoinvalidhabits,andmadenoefforttorally。Ifhisfatherurgedhimtogoout—nay,onceortwicehegulpeddownhispride,andaskedOsbornetoaccompanyhim—Osbornewouldgotothewindowandfindoutsomeflaworspeckinthewindorweather,andmakethatanexcuseforstoppinginthehouseoverhisbooks。Hewouldsaunteroutonthesunnysideofthehouseinamannerthatthesquireconsideredasbothindolentandunmanly。
Yetiftherewasaprospectofhisleavinghome,whichhedidprettyoftenaboutthistime,hewasseizedwithahecticenergy:thecloudsinthesky,theeasterlywind,thedampnessoftheair,werenothingtohimthen;
andasthesquiredidnotknowtherealsecretcauseofthisanxietytobegone,hetookitintohisheadthatitarosefromOsborne’sdisliketoHamleyandtothemonotonyofhisfather’ssociety。’Itwasamistake,’thoughtthesquire。’Iseeitnow。Iwasnevergreatatmakingfriendsmyself。IalwaysthoughtthoseOxfordandCambridgementurneduptheirnosesatmeforacountrybooby,andI’dgetthestartandhavenoneo’them。ButwhentheboyswenttoRugbyandCambridge,I
shouldha’letthemhavehadtheirownfriendsabout’em,eventhoughtheymightha’lookeddownonme;itwastheworsttheycouldha’donetome,andnowwhatfewfriendsIhadhavefallenofffromme,bydeathorsomehow,anditisbutdrearyworkforayoungman,Igrantit。Buthemighttrynottoshowitsoplaintomeashedoes。I’mgettingcase—hardened,butitdoescutmetothequicksometimes—itdoes。Andhesofondofhisdadashewasonce!IfIcanbutgetthelanddrainedI’llmakehimanallowance,andlethimgotoLondon,orwherehelikes。Maybehe’lldobetterthistime,ormaybehe’llgotothedogsaltogether;butperhapsitwillmakehimthinkabitkindlyoftheoldfatherathome—Ishouldlikehimtodothat,Ishould!’ItispossiblethatOsbornemighthavebeeninducedtotellhisfatherofhismarriageduringtheirlongtê;te—à;—tê;teintercourse,ifthesquire,inanunluckymoment,hadnotgivenhimhisconfidenceaboutRoger’sengagementwithCynthia。ItwasononewetSundayafternoon,whenthefatherandsonweresittingtogetherinthelargeemptydrawing—room。Osbornehadnotbeentochurchinthemorning;thesquirehad,andhewasnowtryinghardtoreadoneofBlair’ssermons。Theyhaddinedearly;theyalwaysdidonSundays;andeitherthat,orthesermon,orthehopelesswetnessoftheday,madetheafternoonseeminterminablylongtothesquire。HehadcertainunwrittenrulesfortheregulationofhisconductonSundays。Coldmeat,sermon—reading,nosmokingtillaftereveningprayers,aslittlethoughtaspossibleastothestateofthelandandtheconditionofthecrops,andasmuchrespectablesitting—indoorsinhisbestclothesaswasconsistentwithgoingtochurchtwiceaday,andsayingtheresponseslouderthantheclerk。To—dayithadrainedsounceasinglythathehadremittedtheafternoonchurch;butoh,evenwiththeluxuryofanap,howlongitseemedbeforehesawtheHallservantstrudginghomewards,alongthefield—path,acoveyofumbrellas!Hehadbeenstandingatthewindowforthelasthalf—hour,hishandsinhispockets,andhismouthoftencontractingitselfintothetraditionalsinofawhistle,butasoftencheckedintosuddengravity—ending,ninetimesoutoften,inayawn。HelookedaskanceatOsborne,whowassittingnearthefireabsorbedinabook。Thepoorsquirewassomethinglikethelittleboyinthechild’sstory,whoasksallsortsofbirdsandbeaststocomeandplaywithhim;and,ineverycase,receivesthesoberanswer,thattheyaretoobusytohaveleisurefortrivialamusements。Thefatherwantedthesontoputdownhisbook,andtalktohim:itwassowet,sodull,andalittleconversationwouldsowileawaythetime!ButOsborne,withhisbacktothewindowwherehisfatherwasstanding,sawnothingofallthis,andwentonreading。Hehadassentedtohisfather’sremarkthatitwasaverywetafternoon,buthadnotcarriedonthesubjectintoallthevarietiesoftruismsofwhichitwassusceptible。Somethingmorerousingmustbestarted,andthisthesquirefelt。TherecollectionoftheaffairbetweenRogerandCynthiacameintohishead,and,withoutgivingitamoment’sconsideration,hebegan,—’Osborne!Doyouknowanythingaboutthis—thisattachmentofRoger’s?’Quitesuccessful。Osbornelaiddownhisbookinamoment,andturnedroundtohisfather。’Roger!anattachment!No!Ineverheardofit—Icanhardlybelieveit—thatistosay,Isupposeitisto——’Andthenhestopped;forhethoughthehadnorighttobetrayhisownconjecturethattheobjectwasCynthiaKirkpatrick。’Yes。Heisthough。Canyouguesswhoto?NobodythatIparticularlylike—notaconnectiontomymind—yetshe’saveryprettygirl;andIsupposeIwastoblameinthefirstinstance。’’Isit——’’It’snousebeatingaboutthebush。I’vegonesofar,Imayaswelltellyouall。It’sMissKirkpatrick,Gibson’sstepdaughter。Butit’snotanengagement,mindyou——’’I’mveryglad—IhopeshelikesRogerbackagain——’’Like—it’sonlytoogoodaconnectionforhernottolikeit:ifRogerisofthesamemindwhenhecomeshome,I’llbeboundshe’llbeonlytoohappy!’’IwonderRogernevertoldme,’saidOsborne,alittlehurt,nowhebegantoconsiderhimself。’Henevertoldmeeither,’saidthesquire。’ItwasGibson,whocamehere,andmadeacleanbreastofitlikeamanofhonour。I’dbeensayingtohim,Icouldnothaveeitherofyoutwoladstakingupwithhislasses。
I’llownitwasyouIwasafraidof—it’sbadenoughwithRoger,andmaybewillcometonothingafterall;butifithadbeenyou,I’dha’brokenwithGibsonandeverymother’ssonof’em,soonerthanhaveletitgoon;