AllthroughthesemeditationsrantheundercurrentofanabsolutetrustinSophyViner。Shethoughtofthegirlwithaminglingofantipathyandconfidence。Itwashumiliatingtoherpridetorecognizekindredimpulsesinacharacterwhichshewouldhavelikedtofeelcompletelyalientoher。
Butwhatindeedwasthegirlreallylike?Sheseemedtohavenoscruplesandathousanddelicacies。ShehadgivenherselftoDarrow,andconcealedtheepisodefromOwenLeath,withnomoreapparentsenseofdebasementthanthevulgarestofadventuresses;yetshehadinstantlyobeyedthevoiceofherheartwhenitbadeherpartfromtheoneandservetheother。
Annatriedtopicturewhatthegirl’slifemusthavebeen:
whatexperiences,whatinitiations,hadformedher。Butherowntraininghadbeentoodifferent:therewereveilsshecouldnotlift。Shelookedbackathermarriedlife,anditscolourlessuniformitytookonanairofhighrestraintandorder。Wasitbecauseshehadbeensoincuriousthatithadwornthatlooktoher?Itstruckherwithamazementthatshehadnevergivenathoughttoherhusband’spast,orwonderedwhathedidandwherehewentwhenhewasawayfromher。Ifshehadbeenaskedwhatshesupposedhethoughtaboutwhentheywereapart,shewouldinstantlyhaveanswered:hissnuff—boxes。Ithadneveroccurredtoherthathemighthavepassions,interests,preoccupationsofwhichshewasabsolutelyignorant。YethewentuptoParisratherregularly:ostensiblytoattendsalesandexhibitions,ortoconferwithdealersandcollectors。Shetriedtopicturehim,straight,trim,beautifullybrushedandvarnished,walkingfurtivelydownaquietstreet,andlookingabouthimbeforeheslippedintoadoorway。Sheunderstoodnowthatshehadbeencoldtohim:whatmorelikelythanthathehadsoughtcompensations?Allmenwerelikethat,shesupposed——nodoubthersimplicityhadamusedhim。
IntheactoftransposingFraserLeathintoaDonJuanshewaspulledupbytheironicperceptionthatshewassimplytryingtojustifyDarrow。Shewantedtothinkthatallmenwere\"likethat\"becauseDarrowwas\"likethat\":shewantedtojustifyheracceptanceofthefactbypersuadingherselfthatonlythroughsuchconcessionscouldwomenlikeherselfhopetokeepwhattheycouldnotgiveup。Andsuddenlyshewasfilledwithangeratherblindness,andthenatherdisastrousattempttosee。WhyhadsheforcedthetruthoutofDarrow?Ifonlyshehadheldhertonguenothingneedeverhavebeenknown。SophyVinerwouldhavebrokenherengagement,Owenwouldhavebeensentaroundtheworld,andherowndreamwouldhavebeenunshattered。Butshehadprobed,insisted,cross—examined,notrestedtillshehaddraggedthesecrettothelight。Shewasoneofthelucklesswomenwhoalwayshavethewrongaudacities,andwhoalwaysknowit……