butsuicidewasnotinmynature。IwastoocompletelyswayedbythesensethatIwasinthegraspofunknownforces，tobelieveinmypowerofself-release。TowardsmyowndestinyIhadbecomeentirelypassive；formyoneardentdesirehadspentitself，andimpulsenolongerpredominatedoverknowledge。ForthisreasonI
neverthoughtoftakinganystepstowardsacompleteseparation，whichwouldhavemadeouralienationevidenttotheworld。WhyshouldIrushforhelptoanewcourse，whenIwasonlysufferingfromtheconsequencesofadeedwhichhadbeentheactofmyintensestwill？Thatwouldhavebeenthelogicofonewhohaddesirestogratify，andIhadnodesires。ButBerthaandIlivedmoreandmorealooffromeachother。Therichfinditeasytolivemarriedandapart。
ThatcourseofourlifewhichIhaveindicatedinafewsentencesfilledthespaceofyears。Somuchmisery——soslowandhideousagrowthofhatredandsin，maybecompressedintoasentence！Andmenjudgeofeachother’slivesthroughthissummarymedium。Theyepitomizetheexperienceoftheirfellow-mortal，andpronouncejudgmentonhiminneatsyntax，andfeelthemselveswiseandvirtuous——conquerorsoverthetemptationstheydefineinwell-
selectedpredicates。Sevenyearsofwretchednessglidegliblyoverthelipsofthemanwhohasnevercountedthemoutinmomentsofchilldisappointment，ofheadandheartthrobbings，ofdreadandvainwrestling，ofremorseanddespair。WelearnWORDSbyrote，butnottheirmeaning；THATmustbepaidforwithourlife-blood，andprintedinthesubtlefibresofournerves。
ButIwillhastentofinishmystory。Brevityisjustifiedatoncetothosewhoreadilyunderstand，andtothosewhowillneverunderstand。