Some Reminiscences

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第3章

Some Reminiscences Joseph Conrad

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Some Reminiscences
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  HeisoneoftheEnglishnovelistswhoseworksIreadforthefirsttimeinEnglish。WithmenofEuropeanreputation,withDickensandWalterScottandThackeray,itwasotherwise。MyfirstintroductiontoEnglishimaginativeliteraturewas\"NicholasNickleby。\"ItisextraordinaryhowwellMrs。NicklebycouldchatterdisconnectedlyinPolishandthesinisterRalphrageinthatlanguage。AstotheCrummlesfamilyandthefamilyofthelearnedSqueersitseemedasnaturaltothemastheirnativespeech。Itwas,Ihavenodoubt,anexcellenttranslation。Thismusthavebeenintheyear’70。ButIreallybelievethatIamwrong。ThatbookwasnotmyfirstintroductiontoEnglishliterature。Myfirstacquaintancewas(orwere)the\"TwoGentlemenofVerona,\"andthatintheveryMS。ofmyfather’stranslation。ItwasduringourexileinRussia,anditmusthavebeenlessthanayearaftermymother’sdeath,becauseIremembermyselfintheblackblousewithawhiteborderofmyheavymourning。Wewerelivingtogether,quitealone,inasmallhouseontheoutskirtsofthetownofT——。Thatafternoon,insteadofgoingouttoplayinthelargeyardwhichwesharedwithourlandlord,Ihadlingeredintheroominwhichmyfathergenerallywrote。WhatemboldenedmetoclamberintohischairI

  amsureIdon’tknow,butacoupleofhoursafterwardshediscoveredmekneelinginitwithmyelbowsonthetableandmyheadheldinbothhandsovertheMS。ofloosepages。Iwasgreatlyconfused,expectingtogetintotrouble。Hestoodinthedoorwaylookingatmewithsomesurprise,buttheonlythinghesaidafteramomentofsilencewas:

  \"Readthepagealoud。\"

  Luckilythepagelyingbeforemewasnotoverblottedwitherasuresandcorrections,andmyfather’shandwritingwasotherwiseextremelylegible。WhenIgottotheendhenoddedandIflewoutofdoorsthinkingmyselfluckytohaveescapedreproofforthatpieceofimpulsiveaudacity。Ihavetriedtodiscoversincethereasonofthismildness,andIimaginethatallunknowntomyselfIhadearned,inmyfather’smind,therighttosomelatitudeinmyrelationswithhiswriting-table。Itwasonlyamonthbefore,orperhapsitwasonlyaweekbefore,thatIhadreadtohimaloudfrombeginningtoend,andtohisperfectsatisfaction,ashelayonhisbed,notbeingverywellatthetime,theproofsofhistranslationofVictorHugo’s\"ToilersoftheSea。\"Suchwasmytitletoconsideration,Ibelieve,andalsomyfirstintroductiontotheseainliterature。IfIdonotrememberwhere,howandwhenIlearnedtoread,Iamnotlikelytoforgettheprocessofbeingtrainedintheartofreadingaloud。Mypoorfather,anadmirablereaderhimself,wasthemostexactingofmasters。IreflectproudlythatImusthavereadthatpageof\"TwoGentlemenofVerona\"tolerablywellattheageofeight。ThenexttimeImetthemwasina5s。one-volumeeditionofthedramaticworksofWilliamShakespeare,readinFalmouth,atoddmomentsoftheday,tothenoisyaccompanimentofcaulkers’malletsdrivingoakumintothedeck-seamsofashipindrydock。Wehadrunin,inasinkingconditionandwiththecrewrefusingdutyafteramonthofwearybattlingwiththegalesoftheNorthAtlantic。Booksareanintegralpartofone’slifeandmyShakespeareanassociationsarewiththatfirstyearofourbereavement,thelastIspentwithmyfatherinexile(hesentmeawaytoPolandtomymother’sbrotherdirectlyhecouldbracehimselfupfortheseparation),andwiththeyearofhardgales,theyearinwhichIcamenearesttodeathatsea,firstbywaterandthenbyfire。

  ThosethingsIremember,butwhatIwasreadingthedaybeforemywritinglifebeganIhaveforgotten。IhaveonlyavaguenotionthatitmighthavebeenoneofTrollope’spoliticalnovels。AndIremember,too,thecharacteroftheday。Itwasanautumndaywithanopalineatmosphere,aveiled,semi-opaque,lustrousday,withfierypointsandflashesofredsunlightontheroofsandwindowsopposite,whilethetreesofthesquarewithalltheirleavesgonewereliketracingsofindianinkonasheetoftissuepaper。ItwasoneofthoseLondondaysthathavethecharmofmysteriousamenity,offascinatingsoftness。TheeffectofopalinemistwasoftenrepeatedatBessboroughGardensonaccountofthenearnesstotheriver。

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