Duringmysojourninthedingle,myfoodhadbeenofthesimplestandmostunsatisfyingdescription,bynomeanscalculatedtosupporttheexertionwhichthelabourIhadbeenengageduponrequired;ithadconsistedofcoarseoatencakesandhardcheese,andforbeverageIhadbeenindebtedtoaneighbouringpit,inwhich,intheheatoftheday,Ifrequentlysaw,notgoldenorsilverfish,butfrogsandeftesswimmingabout。Iam,however,inclinedtobelievethatMrs。Herne’scakehadquiteasmuchtodowiththematterasinsufficientnourishment。Ihadneverentirelyrecoveredfromtheeffectsofitspoison,buthadoccasionally,especiallyatnight,beenvisitedbyagrindingpaininthestomach,andmywholebodyhadbeensuffusedwithcoldsweat;andindeedthesememorialsofthedrowhaveneverentirelydisappeared-evenatthepresenttimetheydisplaythemselvesinmysystem,especiallyaftermuchfatigueofbodyandexcitementofmind。SothereIsatinthedingleuponmystone,nervelessandhopeless,bywhatevercauseorcausesthatstatehadbeenproduced-thereIsatwithmyheadleaninguponmyhand,andsoIcontinuedalong,longtime。AtlastIliftedmyheadfrommyhand,andbegantocastanxious,unquietlooksaboutthedingle-theentirehollowwasnowenvelopedindeepshade-Icastmyeyesup;therewasagoldengleamonthetopsofthetreeswhichgrewtowardstheupperpartsofthedingle;butlowerdownallwasgloomandtwilight-yet,whenIfirstsatdownonmystone,thesunwasrightabovethedingle,illuminatingallitsdepthsbytherayswhichitcastperpendicularlydown-soImusthavesatalong,longtimeuponmystone。Andnow,oncemore,Irestedmyheaduponmyhand,butalmostinstantlylifteditagaininakindoffear,andbeganlookingattheobjectsbeforeme-theforge,thetools,thebranchesofthetrees,endeavouringtofollowtheirrows,tilltheywerelostinthedarknessofthedingle;andnowIfoundmyrighthandgraspingconvulsivelythethreefore-fingersoftheleft,firstcollectively,andthensuccessively,wringingthemtillthejointscracked;thenIbecamequiet,butnotforlong。
SuddenlyIstartedup,andcouldscarcelyrepresstheshriekwhichwasrisingtomylips。Wasitpossible?Yes,alltoocertain;theevilonewasuponme;theinscrutablehorrorwhichIhadfeltinmyboyhoodhadoncemoretakenpossessionofme。Ihadthoughtthatithadforsakenme-thatitwouldnevervisitmeagain;thatIhadoutgrownit;thatImightalmostbiddefiancetoit;andIhadevenbeguntothinkofitwithouthorror,asweareinthehabitofdoingofhorrorsofwhichweconceivewerunnodanger;andlo!
whenleastthoughtof,ithadseizedmeagain。EverymomentIfeltitgatheringforce,andmakingmemorewhollyitsown。WhatshouldIdo?-resist,ofcourse;andIdidresist。Igrasped,Itore,andstrovetoflingitfromme;butofwhatavailweremyefforts?
Icouldonlyhavegotridofitbygettingridofmyself:itwasapartofmyself,orratheritwasallmyself。Irushedamongstthetrees,andstruckatthemwithmybarefists,anddashedmyheadagainstthem,butIfeltnopain。HowcouldIfeelpainwiththathorroruponme?AndthenIflungmyselfontheground,gnawedtheearth,andswallowedit;andthenIlookedround;itwasalmosttotaldarknessinthedingle,andthedarknessaddedtomyhorror。
Icouldnolongerstaythere;upIrosefromtheground,andattemptedtoescape。AtthebottomofthewindingpathwhichleduptheacclivityIfelloversomethingwhichwaslyingontheground;thesomethingmoved,andgaveakindofwhine。Itwasmylittlehorse,whichhadmadethatplaceitslair;mylittlehorse;