BeforeJemhadendedhislittlepieceofbusiness,aformhadglidedintosight;awan,feeblefigure,bearingwithevidentandpainfullabourajugofwaterfromtheneighbouringpump。ItwentbeforeJem,turnedupthecourtatthecornerofwhichhewasstanding,passedintothebroad,calmlight;andthere,withbowedhead,sinkingandshrunkbody,JemrecognizedJohnBarton。Nohauntingghostcouldhavehadlessoftheenergyoflifeinitsinvoluntarymotionsthanhe,who,nevertheless,wentonwiththesamemeasuredclockworktreaduntilthedoorofhisownhousewasreached。Andthenhedisappeared,andthelatchfellfeeblyto,andmadeafaintandwaveringsound,breakingthesolemnsilenceofthenight。Thenallagainwasstill。ForaminuteortwoJemstoodmotionless,stunnedbythethoughtswhichthesightofMary’sfatherhadcalledup。Margaretdidnotknowhewasathome:hadhestolenlikeathiefbydeadofnightintohisowndwelling?DepressedasJemhadoftenandlongseenhim,thisnighttherewassomethingdifferentabouthimstill;beatendownbysomeinwardstorm,heseemedtogrovelalong,allself-respectlostandgone。MusthebetoldofMary’sstate?Jemfelthemustnot;andthisformanyreasons。Hecouldnotbeinformedofherillnesswithoutmanyotherparticularsbeingcommunicatedatthesametime,ofwhichitwerebetterheshouldbekeptinignorance;indeed,ofwhichMaryherselfcouldalonegivethefullexplanation。Nosuspicionthathewasthecriminalseemedhithertotohavebeenexcitedinthemindofanyone。AddedtothesereasonswasJem’sextremeunwillingnesstofacehim,withthebeliefinhisbreastthathe,andnoneother,haddonethefearfuldeed。ItwastruethathewasMary’sfather,andassuchhadeveryrighttobetoldofaconcerningher;butsupposinghewere,andthathefollowedtheimpulsesonaturaltoafather,andwishedtogotoher,whatmightbetheconsequences?Amongthemingledfeelingsshehadrevealedinherdelirium,aye,mingledevenwiththemosttenderexpressionsofloveforherfather,wasasortofhorrorofhim;adreadofhimasablood-shedder,whichseemedtoseparatehimintotwopersons,——one,thefatherwhohaddandledheronhisknee,andlovedherallherlifelong;theother,theassassin,thecauseofallhertroubleandwoe。Ifheresentedhimselfbeforeherwhilethisideaofhischaracterwasuppermost,whomighttelltheconsequence?Jemcouldnot,andwouldnot,exposehertoanysuchfearfulchance:andtotellthetruth,Ibelievehelookeduponherasmorehisown,toguardfromallshadowofinjurywithmostlovingcare,thanasbelongingtoanyoneelseinthisworld,thoughgirtwiththereverendnameofFather,andguiltlessofaughtthatmighthavelessenedsuchreverence。Ifyouthinkthisaccountofmineconfused,ofthehalf-feelings,half-reasons,whichpassedthroughJem’smind,ashestoodgazingontheemptyspace,wherethatcrushedformhadsolatelybeenseen,——ifyouareperplexedtodisentangletherealmotives,IdoassureyouitwasfromjustsuchaninvolvedsetofthoughtsthatJemdrewtheresolutiontoactasifhehadnotseenthatphantomlikenessofJohnBarton;himself,yetnothimself。
Dixwell。Forgiveness!Oh,forgiveness,andagrave!Mary。Godknowsthyheart,myfather!andIshudderTothinkwhatthouperchancehastacted。Dixwell。Oh!Mary。Nocommonloadofwoeisthine,myfather。ELLIOT’SKerhonah。MarystillhoveredbetweenlifeanddeathwhenJemarrivedatthehousewhereshelay;andthedoctorswereasyetunwillingtocompromisetheirwisdombyallowingtoomuchhopetobeentertained。Butthestateofthings,ifnotlessanxious,waslessdistressingthanwhenJemhadquittedher。
Shelaynowinastupor,whichwaspartlydisease,andpartlyexhaustionafterthepreviousexcitement。AndnowJemfoundthedifficultywhicheveryonewhohaswatchedbyasickbedknowsfullwell;andwhichisperhapsmoreinsurmountabletomenthanitistowomen,——thedifficultyofbeingpatient,andtryingnottoexpectanyvisiblechangeforlong,longhoursofsadmonotony。Butafterawhiletherewardcame。Thelabouredbreathingbecamelowerandsofter,theheavylookofoppressivepainmeltedawayfromtheface,andalanguorthatwasalmostpeacetooktheplaceofsuffering。Shesleptanaturalsleep;andtheystoleaboutontip-toe,andspokelow,andsoftly,andhardlydaredtobreathe,howevermuchtheylongedtosighouttheirthankfulrelief。Sheopenedhereyes。Hermindwasinthetenderstateofalately-borninfant’s。Shewaspleasedwiththegaybutnotdazzlingcoloursofthepaper;soothedbythesubduedlight;andquitesufficientlyamusedbylookingatalltheobjectsintheroom——thedrawingoftheships,thefestoonsofthecurtain,thebrightflowersonthepaintedbacksofthechairs——tocareforanystrongerexcitement。Shewonderedattheballofglass,containingvarious-colouredsandsfromtheIsleofWight,orsomeotherplace,whichhungsuspendedfromthemiddleofthelittlevalanceoverthewindow。Butshedidnotcaretoexertherselftoaskanyquestions,althoughshesawMrsSturgisstandingatthebedsidewithsometea,readytodropitintohermouthbyspoonfuls。Shedidnotseethefaceofhonestjoy,ofearnestthankfulness,——theclaspedhands,——thebeamingeyes,——thetremblingeagernessofgesture,ofonewhohadlongawaitedherwakening,andwhonowstoodbehindthecurtainswatchingthroughsomelittlechinkhereveryfaintmotion;orifshehadcaughtaglimpseofthatloving,peepingface,shewasintooexhaustedastatetohavetakenmuchnotice,orhavelongretainedtheimpressionthatheshelovedsowellwashangingabouther,andblessingGodforeveryconsciouslookwhichstoleoverhercountenance。Shefellsoftlyintoslumber,withoutawordhavingbeenspokenbyanyoneduringthathalfhourofinexpressiblejoy。Andagainthestillnesswasenforcedbysignandwhisperedword,butwitheyesthatbeamedouttheirbrightthoughtsofhope。Jemsatbythesideofthebed,holdingbackthelittlecurtain,andgazingasifhecouldnevergazehisfillatthepale,wastedface,somarbledandsochiselledinitswanoutline。Shewakenedoncemore;hersofteyesopened,andmethisover-bendinglook。
Shesmiledgently,asababydoeswhenitseesitsmothertendingitslittlecot;andcontinuedherinnocent,infantinegazeintohisface,asifthesightgavehermuchunconsciouspleasure。Butbyandbyadifferentexpressioncameintohersweeteyes;alookofmemoryandintelligence;herwhitefleshflushedthebrightestrosyred,andwithfeeblemotionshetriedtohideherheadinthepillow。ItrequiredallJem’sself-controltodowhatheknewandfelttobenecessary,tocallMrsSturgis,whowasquietlydozingbythefireside;andthatdone,hefeltalmostobligedtoleavetheroomtokeepdownthehappyagitationwhichwouldgushoutineveryfeature,everygesture,andeverytone。Fromthattimeforward,Mary’sprogresstowardshealthwasrapid。Therewaseveryreason,butone,infavourofherspeedyremovalhome。
AllJem’sdutieslayinManchester。Itwashismother’sdwelling-place,andtherehisplansforlifehadbeentobeworkedoutplans,whichthesuspicionandimprisonmenthehadfalleninto,hadthrownforatimeintoachaos,whichhispresencewasrequiredtoarrangeintoform。Forhemightfind,inspiteofajury’sverdict,thattoostrongataintwasonhischaracterforhimevertolabourinManchesteragain。Herememberedthemannerinwhichsomeonesuspectedofhavingbeenaconvictwasshunnedbymastersandmen,whenhehadaccidentallymetwithworkintheirfoundry;