AndhereIsawit,manyways。Inthefirstplace,troublesmustbreakout;andwehadeight-and-twentyricks;countinggrain,andstraw,andhay。Moreover,motherwasgrowingweakaboutriots,andshooting,andburning;andshegatheredthebed-clothesaroundherearseverynight,whenherfeetweretuckedup;andprayednottoawakeuntilmorning。Inthenextplace,muchrebellionthoughwewouldnotownit;ineithersenseoftheverb,to’own’waswhispering,andpluckingskirts,andmakingsigns,amongus。AndtheterroroftheDooneshelpedgreatly;asafruitfultreeoflawlessness,andagoodexcuseforeverybody。Andafterthis——orratherbeforeit,andfirstofallindeedifImuststatethetrueorder——aroseuponmethethoughtofLorna,andhowthesethingswouldaffectherfate。
AndindeedImustadmitthatithadoccurredtomesometimes,orbeensuggestedbyothers,thattheLadyLornahadnotbehavedaltogetherkindly,sinceherdeparturefromamongus。Foralthoughinthosedaysthepostaswecalltheserviceofletter-carrying,whichnowcomeswithintwentymilesofusdidnotextendtoourpartoftheworld,yetitmighthavebeenpossibletoprocureforhireamanwhowouldridepost,ifLornafearedtotrustthepack-horses,orthetroopers,whowenttoandfro。Yetnomessagewhateverhadreachedus;neitheranytokenevenofhersafetyinLondon。Astothislast,however,wehadnomisgivings,havinglearnedfromtheorderlies,morethanonce,thatthewealth,andbeauty,andadventuresofyoungLadyLornaDugalweregreatlytalkedof,bothatcourtandamongthecommonpeople。
Nowridingsadlyhomewards,inthesunsetoftheearlyspring,Iwasmorethanevertouchedwithsorrow,andasenseofbeing,asitwere,abandoned。Andtheweathergrowingquitebeautiful,andsomildthatthetreeswerebudding,andthecattlefullofhappiness,Icouldnotbutthinkofthedifferencebetweentheworldofto-dayandtheworldofthisdaytwelvemonth。Thenallwashowlingdesolation,alltheearthblockedupwithsnow,andalltheairwithbarbsoficeassmallassplinteredneedles,yetglittering,inandout,likestars,andgatheringsouponamaniflonghestayedamongthemthattheybegantoweighhimdowntosleepinessandfrozendeath。Notasignoflifewasmoving,norwasanychangeofview;unlessthewildwindstruckthecrestofsomecolddrift,andbowedit。
Now,ontheotherhand,allwasgood。Theopenpalmofspringwaslaidupontheyieldingofthehills;andeachparticularvalleyseemedtobethegloveforafinger。Andalthoughthesunwaslow,anddippinginthewesternclouds,thegraylightoftheseacameup,andtook,andtaking,toldthespecialtoneofeverything。Allthislayuponmyheart,withoutawordofthinking,spreadinglightandshadowthere,andthesoftdelightofsadness。Nevertheless,Iwoulditwerethesavagesnowaroundme,andthepipingoftherestlesswinds,andthedeathofeverything。ForinthosedaysIhadLorna。
ThenIthoughtofpromisefair;suchasglowedaroundme,wheretheredrocksheldthesun,whenhewasdeparted;andthedistantcragsendeavouredtoretainhismemory。Butaseveningspreadacrossthem,shadingwithasilentfold,allthecolourstoleaway;allremembrancewanedanddied。