Lord Jim

第31章

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第31章

Lord Jim Joseph Conrad

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Lord Jim
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  Heneverthoughtofanythingatthetime;allhecouldremember——hesaid——wasagreatyell;thefirsthousesofPatusanwerebeforehimfourhundredyardsaway;hesawthecreek,andasitweremechanicallyputonmorepace。

  Theearthseemedfairlytoflybackwardsunderhisfeet。Hetookofffromthelastdryspot,felthimselfflyingthroughtheair,felthimself,withoutanyshock,planteduprightinanextremelysoftandstickymudbank。Itwasonlywhenhetriedtomovehislegsandfoundhecouldn’tthat,inhisownwords,“hecametohimself。“Hebegantothinkofthe“ballylongspears。“Asamatteroffact,consideringthatthepeopleinsidethestockadehadtoruntothegate,thengetdowntothelanding-place,getintoboats,andpullroundapointofland,hehadmoreadvancethanheimagined。Besides,itbeinglowwater,thecreekwaswithoutwater——youcouldn’tcallitdry——andpracticallyhewassafeforatimefromeverythingbutaverylongshotperhaps。Thehigherfirmgroundwasaboutsixfeetinfrontofhim。“I

  thoughtIwouldhavetodiethereallthesame,“hesaid。Hereachedandgrabbeddesperatelywithhishands,andonlysucceededingatheringahorriblecoldshinyheapofslimeagainsthisbreast——uptohisverychin。Itseemedtohimhewasburyinghimselfalive,andthenhestruckoutmadly,scatteringthemudwithhisfists。Itfellonhishead,onhisface,overhiseyes,intohismouth。Hetoldmethatherememberedsuddenlythecourtyard,asyourememberaplacewhereyouhadbeenveryhappyyearsago。Helonged——sohesaid——tobebackthereagain,mendingtheclock。Mendingtheclock——thatwastheidea。Hemadeefforts,tremendoussobbing,gaspingefforts,effortsthatseemedtobursthiseyeballsintheirsocketsandmakehimblind,andculminatingintoonemightysupremeeffortinthedarknesstocracktheearthasunder,tothrowitoffhislimbs——andhefelthimselfcreepingfeeblyupthebank。Helayfulllengthonthefirmgroundandsawthelight,thesky。Thenasasortofhappythoughtthenotioncametohimthathewouldgotosleep。Hewillhaveitthathedidactuallygotosleep:

  thatheslept——perhapsforaminute,perhapsfortwentyseconds,oronlyforonesecond,butherecollectsdistinctlytheviolentconvulsivestartofawakening。Heremainedlyingstillforawhile,andthenhearosemuddyfromheadtofootandstoodthere,thinkinghewasaloneofhiskindforhundredsofmiles,alone,withnohelp,nosympathy,nopitytoexpectfromanyone,likeahuntedanimal。Thefirsthouseswerenotmorethantwentyyardsfromhim;anditwasthedesperatescreamingofafrightenedwomantryingtocarryoffachildthatstartedhimagain。Hepeltedstraightoninhissocks,beplasteredwithfilthoutofallsemblancetoahumanbeing。Hetraversedmorethanhalfthelengthofthesettlement。Thenimblerwomenfledrightandleft,themenjustdroppedwhatevertheyhadintheirhands,andremaindedpetrifiedwithdroppingjaws。Hewasaflyingterror。

  Hesayshenoticedthelittlechildrentryingtorunforlife,fallingontheirlittlestomachsandkicking。Heswervedbetweentwohousesupaslope,clamberedindesperationoverabarricadeoffelledtreestherewasn’taweekwithoutsomefightinPatusanatthattime,burstthroughafenceintoamaize-patch,whereascaredboyflungastickathim,blundereduponapath,andranallatonceintothearmsofseveralstartledmen。

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