gaintheimpressionthatthepairofusaresittingplungedinavoidofdarknesswherelifedoesnotexist，yetwherewearedestinedtobeginlife。
“However，themanwasalibertineandadrunkard，andmanyariotousnightdidhespendwithhiscroniesintheporter’slodgeoftheconvent。Also，hetriedtoarouseasimilartasteinmyself；andthoughforatimeIresistedthetendency，Iatlength，onhistakingtobeatingme，yielded。Onlyforoneman，however，hadIreallyaliking；andwithhimitwas，andnotwithmyhusband，thatIfirstlearntthemeaningofspousehood……
Unfortunately，myloverhimselfwasmarried；andintimehiswifecametohearofme，andprocuredmyhusband’sdismissal。Thechiefreasonwasthatthelady，apersonofgreatwealth，washerselfhandsome，albeitstout，anddidnotcaretoseeherplaceassumedbyanobody。Next，myhusbanddiedofdrink；andasmyfatherhadlongbeendead，andIfoundmyselfalone，Iwenttoseeandconsultmystepmother。Allthatshesaid，however，was:
’Whycometome？Goandthinkthingsoutforyourself。’AndItoothenreflected:’Yes，whyshouldIhavegonetoher？’andrepairedtotheconvent。Yeteventherethereseemedtobenoplaceleftforme，andeventuallyoldMotherTaisia，whohadoncebeenmygoverness，said:’Tatiana，doyoureturntotheworld，forthere，andonlythere，willyouhaveachanceofhappiness。
SototheworldIreturned——andstillamroamingit。“