butinadditiontothis，Ihadagloomyconvictionthattheawfulrealitiesshehadseenandfelt，herreconciliationwiththemanshehadonceloved，hisdreadfulsufferingsanddeath，musteventuallyeffacefromhermindalltracesofherpassingloveforme。Shemightrecoverfromthesehorrorssofarastoberestoredtoherformerhealth，hertranquillity，hercheerfulnesseven——Butnevertothosefeelingswhichwouldappeartoher，henceforth，asafleetingfancy，avain；illusivedream；especiallyastherewasnoonetoremindherofmyexistence——nomeansofassuringherofmyferventconstancy，nowthatweweresofarapart，anddelicacyforbademetoseeherortowritetoher，formonthstocomeatleast。AndhowcouldIengageherbrotherinmybehalf？howcouldIbreakthaticycrustofshyreserve？
Perhapshewoulddisapproveofmyattachmentnow，ashighlyasbefore；
perhapshewouldthinkmetoopoor——toolowlyborn，tomatchwithhissister。
Yes，therewasanotherbarrier：doubtlesstherewasawidedistinctionbetweentherankandcircumstancesofMrs。Huntingdon，theladyofGrassdaleManor，andthoseofMrs。Grahamtheartist，thetenantofWildfellHall；
anditmightbedeemedpresumptioninmetooffermyhandtotheformer——bytheworld，byherfriends——ifnotbyherself——apenaltyImightbrave，ifIwerecertainshelovedme；butotherwise，howcouldI？And，finally，herdeceasedhusband，withhisusualselfishness，mighthavesoconstructedhiswillastoplacerestrictionsuponhermarryingagain。SothatyouseeIhadreasonsenoughfordespairifIchosetoindulgeit。