Littleboy，dramatically：“Andbangthemonitorsank！”
Littlegirl。“Itdidn’tdoanysuchthing。Mymonitoralwaysgoestobedatseven，andit’snowquarterpast。Mymonitorwasinbedandcouldn’tsink！”
WhenIwasAssistantSecretaryoftheNavy，LeonardWoodandIusedoftentocombineforcesandtakebothfamiliesofchildrenouttowalk，andoccasionallysomeoftheirplaymates。LeonardWood’sson，I
found，attributedthepaternityofallofthosenotofhisownfamilytome。OnceweweretakingthechildrenacrossRockCreekonafallentree。Iwasstandingonthemiddleofthelogtryingtopreventanyofthechildrenfromfallingoff，andwhilemakingaclutchatonepeculiarlyactiveandheedlesschildIfelloffmyself。AsIemergedfromthewaterIheardthelittleWoodboycallingfranticallytotheGeneral：“Oh！oh！Thefatherofallthechildrenfellintothecreek！”——
whichmademefeellikeanuncommonlymoistpatriarch。OfcoursethechildrentookmuchinterestinthetrophiesIoccasionallybroughtbackfrommyhunts。WhenIstartedformyregiment，in’98，thestressofleavinghome，whichwasnaturallynotpleasant，wassomewhatlightenedbythenexttotheyoungestboy，whoseideasofwhatwasabouttohappenwerehazy，claspingmeroundthelegswithabeamingsmileandsaying，“Andismyfathergoingtothewar？Andwillhebringmebackabear？”When，somefivemonthslater，Ireturned，ofcourseinmyuniform，thislittleboywasmuchpuzzledastomyidentity，althoughhegreetedmeaffablywith“Goodafternoon，Colonel。”Halfanhourlatersomebodyaskedhim，“Where’sfather？”towhichheresponded，“Idon’tknow；buttheColonelistakingabath。”