Hewentupstairstothedisusedcitadel，flunghimselfintothearm-
chair，andcoveredhisfacewithhishands。
Hestilldidnotknowthathiswifedrank，buthecouldnolongertrusther，andhisdreamofhappinesswasover。HehadbeensavedfromtheChurch——soasbyfire，butstillsaved——butwhatcouldnowsavehimfromhismarriage？HehadmadethesamemistakethathehadmadeinweddinghimselftotheChurch，butwithahundredtimesworseresults。Hehadlearntnothingbyexperience：hewasanEsau——oneofthosewretcheswhoseheartstheLordhadhardened，who，havingears，heardnot，havingeyessawnot，andwhoshouldfindnoplaceforrepentancethoughtheysoughtitevenwithtears。
YethadhenotonthewholetriedtofindoutwhatthewaysofGodwere，andtofollowtheminsinglenessofheart？Toacertainextent，yes；buthehadnotbeenthorough；hehadnotgivenupallforGod。Heknewthatverywellhehaddonelittleascomparedwithwhathemightandoughttohavedone，butstillifhewasbeingpunishedforthis，Godwasahardtaskmaster，andone，too，whowascontinuallypouncingoutuponhisunhappycreaturesfromambuscades。
InmarryingEllenhehadmeanttoavoidalifeofsin，andtotakethecoursehebelievedtobemoralandright。Withhisantecedentsandsurroundingsitwasthemostnaturalthingintheworldforhimtohavedone，yetinwhatafrightfulpositionhadnothismoralitylandedhim。Couldanyamountofimmoralityhaveplacedhiminamuchworseone？Whatwasmoralityworthifitwasnotthatwhichonthewholebroughtamanpeaceatthelast，andcouldanyonehavereasonablecertaintythatmarriagewoulddothis？Itseemedtohimthatinhisattempttobemoralhehadbeenfollowingadevilwhichhaddisguiseditselfasanangeloflight。Butifso，whatgroundwasthereonwhichamanmightrestthesoleofhisfootandtreadinreasonablesafety？