Beatrice

第5章

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第5章

Beatrice H。 Rider Haggard

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Beatrice
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  Andsothehappydaywouldpassandbed-timecome,andwithitunbiddendreams。

  Geoffreythoughtnoillofallthis,asofcourseheoughttohavethought。Hewasnottheraveninglionoffiction——sorarely,ifever,tobemetwithinreallife——goingaboutseekingwhomhemightdevour。

  HehadabsolutelynodesignsonBeatrice’saffections,anymorethanshehadonhis,andhehadforgottenthatfirstfellprescienceofeviltocome。Onceortwice,itistrue,qualmsofdoubtdidcrosshismindintheearlierdaysoftheirintimacy。Butheputthembyasabsurd。Hewasnobelieverinthetenderhelplessnessoffull-grownwomen,hisexperiencehavingbeenthattheyareamplycapable——and,forthemostpart,morethancapable——oflookingafterthemselves。ItseemedtohimathingridiculousthatsuchapersonasBeatrice,whowascompetenttoformopinionsandajudgmentuponalltheimportantquestionsoflife,shouldbetreatedasachild,andthatheshouldremovehimselffromBryngellylestheryoungaffectionsshouldbecomeentangled。Hefeltsurethattheywouldneverbeentrappedinanydirectionwhatsoeverwithoutherfullconsent。

  Thenheceasedtothinkaboutthematteratall。Indeed,themereideaofsuchathinginvolvedasuppositionthatwouldonlyhavebeenacceptabletoaconceitedman——namely,thattherewasapossibilityofthisyounglady’sfallinginlovewithhim。Whatrighthadhetosupposeanythingofthesort?Itwasanimpertinence。Thattherewasanothersortofpossibility——namely,ofhisbecomingmoreattachedtoherthanwasaltogetherdesirable——did,however,occurtohimonceortwice。Butheshruggedhisshouldersandputitby。Afterall,itwashislookout,andhedidnotmuchcare。Itwoulddohernoharmattheworst。Butverysoonalltheseshadowyforebodingsofdawningtroublevanishedquite。Theywerelostinthebroad,sweetlightsoffriendship。By-and-by,whenfriendship’sdaywasdone,theymightariseagain,calledbyothernamesandwearingasternerface。

  Itwasridiculous——ofcourseitwasridiculous;hewasnotgoingtofallinlovelikeaboyathistimeoflife;allhefeltwasgratitudeandinterest——allshefeltwasamusementinhissociety。Asfortheintimacy——feltratherthanexpressed——theintimacythatcouldalreadyalmostenabletheonetodivinetheother’sthought,thatcouldshapehermoodtohisandhistohers,thatcouldcausethesamethingofbeautytobeacommonjoy,anddiscoverunityofmindinopinionsthemostopposite——why,itwasonlynaturalbetweenpeoplewhohadtogetherpassedaperilterribletothinkof。Sotheytookthegoodsthegodsprovided,anddriftedsoftlyon——whithertheydidnotstoptoinquire。

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