April Hopes

第11章

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第11章

April Hopes William Dean Howells

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April Hopes
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  InBostontherumourofDan’sbrokenengagementwasfollowedpromptlybyadenialofit;boththerumourandthedenialwereapparentlyauthoritative;butitgivestheeffectofalittlegreatersagacitytodistrustrumoursofallkinds,andmostpeoplewenttobed,aftertheteasanddinnersandreceptionsandclubsatwhichthefactwasfirstdebated,intheself-persuasionthatitwasnotso。Thenextdaytheyfoundtherumourstillpersistent;thedenialwasstillintheairtoo,butitseemedweaker;attheendofthethirddayithadbecomeaquestionastowhichbroketheengagement,andwhy;bytheendofaweekitwasknownthatAlicehadbrokentheengagement,butthereasoncouldnotbeascertained。

  Thiswasnotforwantofasking,moreorlessdirect。Pasmer,ofcourse,wentandcameathisclubwithperfectimmunity。Menarequiteascuriousaswomen,buttheysetbusinessboundstotheircuriosity,anddonotdreamofpassingthese。Withwomenwhohavenobusinessoftheirown,andcannotquellthemselveswiththereflectionthatthisthingorthatisnottheiraffair,thereisnoquestionsointimatethattheywillnotputittosomeotherwoman;perhapsitisnotsointimate,orperhapsitwillnotseemso;atanyrate,theychanceit。Mrs。Pasmerwasgiveneveryopportunitytoexplainthefactstotheladieswhomshemet,andifshewasmuchafflictedbyAlice’sbehaviour,shehadameasureofconsolationinusingherskilltobaffletheresearchofheracquaintance。Aftereachencounterofthekindshehadthepleasureofreflectingthatabsolutelynothingmorethanshemeanthadbecomeknown。Thecaseneverbecamefullyknownthroughher;itwasthegirlherselfwhotoldittoMissCottoninoneofthosemomentsofconfidencewhicharenecessarytoburdenedminds;

  anditisdoubtfulifmorethantwoorthreepeopleeverclearlyunderstoodit;mostpreferredoneorotherofseveralmistakenversionswhichsocietyfinallysettleddownto。

  Theparoxysmofself-doubt,almostself-accusal,inwhichAlicecametoMissCotton,movedthelattertothedeepestsympathy,andleftherwithmisgivingswhichbecameanintolerableanguishtoherconscience。Thechildwassoafflictedatwhatshehaddone,notbecauseshewishedtobereconciledwithherlover,butbecauseshewasafraidshehadbeenunjust,beencruellyimpatientandperemptorywithhim;sheseemedtoMissCottonsoabsolutelyaloneandfriendlesswithhergreattrouble,shewassohelpless,sohopeless,shewassoanxioustodoright,andsofearfulshehaddonewrong,thatMissCottonwouldnothavebeenMissCottonifshehadnottakenherinherarmsandassuredherthatineverythingshehaddoneshehadbeensublimelyandnoblyright,alessontoallhersexinsuchmattersforever。Shetoldherthatshehadalwaysadmiredher,butthatnowsheidolisedher;thatshefeltlikegoingdownonherkneesandsimplyworshippingher。

  “Oh,don’tsaythat,MissCotton!“pleadedAlice,pullingawayfromherembrace,butstillclingingtoherwithhertremulous,coldlittlehands。

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