Hisangeragainsther,againstherwhowasthecauseofallhismisfortunes,vanishedbeforehisextremeneedforsomekindofconsolation。Perhaps——ifhemustresignhimselftohisfate——shemighthelphimtoforget。Toforget!Foramoment,inanaccessofdespairsoprofoundthatitseemedlikethebeginningofpeace,heplannedthedeliberatedescentfromhispedestal,thethrowingawayofhissuperiority,ofallhishopes,ofoldambitions,oftheungratefulcivilization。Foramoment,forgetfulnessinherarmsseemedpossible;andluredbythatpossibilitythesemblanceofreneweddesirepossessedhisbreastinaburstofrecklesscontemptforeverythingoutsidehimself——inasavagedisdainofEarthandofHeaven。Hesaidtohimselfthathewouldnotrepent。Thepunishmentforhisonlysinwastooheavy。TherewasnomercyunderHeaven。Hedidnotwantany。Hethought,desperately,thatifhecouldfindwithheragainthemadnessofthepast,thestrangedeliriumthathadchangedhim,thathadworkedhisundoing,hewouldbereadytopayforitwithaneternityofperdition。Hewasintoxicatedbythesubtleperfumesofthenight;hewascarriedawaybythesuggestivestirofthewarmbreeze;hewaspossessedbytheexaltationofthesolitude,ofthesilence,ofhismemories,inthepresenceofthatfigureofferingherselfinasubmissiveandpatientdevotion;comingtohiminthenameofthepast,inthenameofthosedayswhenhecouldseenothing,thinkofnothing,desirenothing——butherembrace。
Hetookhersuddenlyinhisarms,andsheclaspedherhandsroundhisneckwithalowcryofjoyandsurprise。Hetookherinhisarmsandwaitedforthetransport,forthemadness,forthesensationsrememberedandlost;andwhileshesobbedgentlyonhisbreastheheldherandfeltcold,sick,tired,exasperatedwithhisfailure——andendedbycursinghimself。Sheclungtohimtremblingwiththeintensityofherhappinessandherlove。Heheardherwhispering——herfacehiddenonhisshoulder——ofpastsorrow,ofcomingjoythatwouldlastforever;ofherunshakenbeliefinhislove。Shehadalwaysbelieved。Always!Evenwhilehisfacewasturnedawayfromherinthedarkdayswhilehismindwaswanderinginhisownland,amongsthisownpeople。
Butitwouldneverwanderawayfromheranymore,nowithadcomeback。Hewouldforgetthecoldfacesandthehardheartsofthecruelpeople。Whatwastheretoremember?Nothing?Wasitnotso?……
Helistenedhopelesslytothefaintmurmur。Hestoodstillandrigid,pressinghermechanicallytohisbreastwhilehethoughtthattherewasnothingforhimintheworld。Hewasrobbedofeverything;robbedofhispassion,ofhisliberty,offorgetfulness,ofconsolation。She,wildwithdelight,whisperedonrapidly,oflove,oflight,ofpeace,oflongyears……Helookeddrearilyaboveherheaddownintothedeepergloomofthecourtyard。And,allatonce,itseemedtohimthathewaspeeringintoasombrehollow,intoadeepblackholefullofdecayandofwhitenedbones;intoanimmenseandinevitablegravefullofcorruptionwheresoonerorlaterhemust,unavoidably,fall。
Inthemorninghecameoutearly,andstoodforatimeinthedoorway,listeningtothelightbreathingbehindhim——inthehouse。Sheslept。Hehadnotclosedhiseyesthroughallthatnight。Hestoodswaying——thenleanedagainstthelintelofthedoor。Hewasexhausted,doneup;fanciedhimselfhardlyalive。