”ButIwantyoutounderstand，Mr……”shehadactuallytothinkofmyname……”Mr。Marlow，thatIhavewrittentoMrs。FynethatIhaven’tbeen——thatIhavedonenothingtomakeCaptainAnthonybehavetomeashehadbehaved。Ihaven’t。Ihaven’t。Itisn’tmydoing。Itisn’tmyfault——ifshelikestoputitinthatway。Butshe，withherideas，oughttounderstandthatIcouldn’t，thatIcouldn’t……Iknowshehatesmenow。Ithinksheneverlikedme。
Ithinknobodyevercaredforme。Iwastoldoncenobodycouldcareforme；andIthinkitistrue。AtanyrateIcan’tforgetit。”
Herabominableexperiencewiththegovernesshadimplantedinherunluckybreastalastingdoubt，anineradicablesuspicionofherselfandofothers。Isaid:”Remember，MissdeBarral，thattobefairyoumusttrustamanaltogether——ornotatall。”
Shedroppedhereyessuddenly。IthoughtIheardafaintsigh。I
triedtotakealighttoneagain，andyetitseemedimpossibletogetoffthegroundwhichgavememystandingwithher。”Mrs。Fyneisabsurd。She’sanexcellentwoman，butreallyyoucouldnotbeexpectedtothrowawayyourchanceoflifesimplythatshemightcherishagoodopinionofyourmemory。Thatwouldbeexcessive。””ItwasnotofmylifethatIwasthinkingwhileCaptainAnthonywas——wasspeakingtome，”saidFloradeBarralwithaneffort。