Burlesques

第8章

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第8章

Burlesques William Makepeace

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Burlesques
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  Fisthefort,asbefore。Gisthegun,asbefore。E,theelephants,aswehavepreviouslyseenthem。WhatthenisX?XIS

  THELINETAKENBYTHEBALLFIREDFROMG,whichtookoffONEHUNDRED

  ANDTHIRTY-FOURelephants’trunks,andonlyspentitselfinthetuskofaveryoldanimal,thatstoodthehundredandthirty-fifth。

  Isaythatsuchashotwasneverfiredbeforeorsince;thatagunwasneverpointedinsuchaway。SupposeIhadbeenacommonman,andcontentedmyselfwithfiringbangattheheadofthefirstanimal?Anasswouldhavedoneit,pridedhimselfhadhehithismark,andwhatwouldhavebeentheconsequence?Why,thattheballmighthavekilledtwoelephantsandwoundedathird;buthere,probably,itwouldhavestopped,anddonenofurthermischief。TheTRUNKwastheplaceatwhichtoaim;therearenobonesthere;andaway,consequently,wentthebullet,shearing,asIhavesaid,throughonehundredandthirty-fiveprobosces。Heavens!whatahowltherewaswhentheshottookeffect!WhatasuddenstoppageofHolkar’sspeech!Whatahideoussnortingofelephants!Whatarushbackwardswasmadebythewholearmy,asifsomedemonwaspursuingthem!

  Awaytheywent。NosoonerdidIseetheminfullretreat,than,rushingforwardmyself,Ishoutedtomymen,”Myfriends,yonderliesyourdinner!”Weflungopenthegates——wetoredowntothespotwheretheelephantshadfallen:sevenofthemwerekilled;andofthosethatescapedtodieoftheirhideouswoundselsewhere,mosthadlefttheirtrunksbehindthem。Agreatquantityofthemweseized;andImyself,cuttingupwithmyscimitaracoupleofthefallenanimals,asabutcherwouldacalf,motionedtothementotakethepiecesbacktothefort,wherebarbacuedelephantwasservedroundfordinner,insteadofthemiserableallowanceofanoliveandaglassofwine,whichIhadpromisedtomyfemalefriends,inmyspeechtothem。Theanimalreservedfortheladieswasayoungwhiteone——thefattestandtenderestIeverate,inmylife:theyareveryfaireating,butthefleshhasanIndia-rubberflavor,which,untiloneisaccustomedtoit,isunpalatable。

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