XIII
Thatnight，Gypsleptpeacefully，asthoughnothinghadhappened，asthoughtherewerenofutureatallbeforeher。Shewokeintomisery。Herpridewouldneverlethershowtheworldwhatshehaddiscovered，wouldforcehertokeepanunmovedfaceandliveanunmovedlife。Butthestrugglebetweenmother-instinctandrevoltwasstillgoingonwithinher。Shewasreallyafraidtoseeherbaby，andshesentwordtoBettythatshethoughtitwouldbesaferifshekeptquitequiettilltheafternoon。
Shegotupatnoonandstoledownstairs。ShehadnotrealizedhowviolentwasherstruggleoverHISchildtillshewaspassingthedooroftheroomwhereitwaslying。Ifshehadnotbeenorderedtogiveupnursing，thatstrugglewouldneverhavecome。Herheartached，butademonpressedheronandpastthedoor。Downstairsshejustpotteredround，dustingherchina，puttinginorderthebookswhich，afterhouse-cleaning，themaidhadarrangedalmosttoocarefully，sothatthefirstvolumesofDickensandThackerayfollowedeachotheronthetopshell，andthesecondvolumesfollowedeachotheronthebottomshelf。Andallthetimeshethoughtdully:’WhyamIdoingthis？WhatdoIcarehowtheplacelooks？Itisnotmyhome。Itcanneverbemyhome！’
Forlunchshedranksomebeeftea，keepingupthefictionofherindisposition。Afterthat，shesatdownatherbureautowrite。
Somethingmustbedecided！Thereshesat，herforeheadonherhand，andnothingcame——notoneword——noteventhewaytoaddresshim；justthedate，andthatwasall。Ataringofthebellshestartedup。Shecouldnotseeanybody！ButthemaidonlybroughtanotefromAuntRosamund，andthedogs，whofellfranticallyontheirmistressandinstantlybegantofightforherpossession。