Jonesarrivedpromptly，andwhenIgotreadytodothecowhidinghetookthejoboffmyhands。Inanencounterwithastranger，notinthebilloffare，Ihadlostmyscalp。Anotherstranger，bythenameofThompson，leftmeamerewreckandruinofchaoticrags。Andatlast，atbayinthecorner，andbesetbyaninfuriatedmobofeditors，blacklegs，politicians，anddesperadoes，whoravedandsworeandflourishedtheirweaponsaboutmyheadtilltheairshimmeredwithglancingflashesofsteel，Iwasintheactofresigningmyberthonthepaperwhenthechiefarrived，andwithhimarabbleofcharmedandenthusiasticfriends。Thenensuedasceneofriotandcarnagesuchasnohumanpen，orsteeloneeither，coulddescribe。Peoplewereshot，probed，dismembered，blownup，thrownoutofthewindow。Therewasabrieftornadoofmurkyblasphemy，withaconfusedandfranticwar-danceglimmeringthroughit，andthenallwasover。Infiveminutestherewassilence，andthegorychiefandI
sataloneandsurveyedthesanguinaryruinthatstrewedtheflooraroundus。
Hesaid，“You’lllikethisplacewhenyougetusedtoit。”
Isaid，“I’llhavetogetyoutoexcuseme;IthinkmaybeImightwritetosuityouafterawhile;assoonasIhadhadsomepracticeandlearnedthelanguageIamconfidentIcould。But，tospeaktheplaintruth，thatsortofenergyofexpressionhasitsinconveniences，anda，manisliabletointerruption。
Youseethatyourself。Vigorouswritingiscalculatedtoelevatethepublic，nodoubt，butthenIdonotliketoattractsomuchattentionasitcallsforth。Ican’twritewithcomfortwhenIaminterruptedsomuchasIhavebeento-day。Ilikethisberthwellenough，butIdon’tliketobeleftheretowaitonthecustomers。Theexperiencesarenovel，Igrantyou，andentertaining，too，afterafashion，buttheyarenotjudiciouslydistributed。Agentlemanshootsatyouthroughthewindowandcripplesme;abombshellcomesdownthestovepipeforyourgratificationandsendsthestovedoordownmythroat;afrienddropsintoswapcomplimentswithyou，andfrecklesmewithbullet-holestillmyskinwon’tholdmyprinciples;yougotodinner，andJonescomeswithhiscowhide，Gillespiethrowsmeoutofthewindow，Thompsontearsallmyclothesoff，andanentirestrangertakesmyscalpwiththeeasyfreedomofanoldacquaintance;andinlessthanfiveminutesalltheblackguardsinthecountryarriveintheirwar-paint，andproceedtoscaretherestofmetodeathwiththeirtomahawks。Takeitaltogether，IneverhadsuchaspiritedtimeinallmylifeasIhavehadto-day。No;Ilikeyou，andIlikeyourcalmunruffledwayofexplainingthingstothecustomers，butyouseeIamnotusedtoit。TheSouthernheartistooimpulsive;Southernhospitalityistoolavishwiththestranger。TheparagraphswhichIhavewrittento-day，andintowhosecoldsentencesyourmasterlyhandhasinfusedtheferventspiritofTennesseeanjournalism，willwakeupanothernestofhornets。Allthatmobofeditorswillcome——andtheywillcomehungry，too，andwantsomebodyforbreakfast。Ishallhavetobidyouadieu。Ideclinetobepresentatthesefestivities。IcameSouthformyhealth，Iwillgobackonthesameerrand，andsuddenly。Tennesseeanjournalismistoostirringforme。”