CHAPTERXLI。
CaptainNyewasveryillindeed，withspasmodicrheumatism。Buttheoldgentlemanwashimself——whichistosay，hewaskind-heartedandagreeablewhencomfortable，butasingularlyviolentwild-catwhenthingsdidnotgowell。Hewouldbesmilingalongpleasantlyenough，whenasuddenspasmofhisdiseasewouldtakehimandhewouldgooutofhissmileintoaperfectfury。Hewouldgroanandwailandhowlwiththeanguish，andfilluptheoddchinkswiththemostelaborateprofanitythatstrongconvictionsandafinefancycouldcontrive。Withfairopportunityhecouldswearverywellandhandlehisadjectiveswithconsiderablejudgment；butwhenthespasmwasonhimitwaspainfultolistentohim，hewassoawkward。However，Ihadseenhimnurseasickmanhimselfandputuppatientlywiththeinconveniencesofthesituation，andconsequentlyIwaswillingthatheshouldhavefulllicensenowthathisownturnhadcome。Hecouldnotdisturbme，withallhisravingandranting，formymindhadworkonhand，anditlaboredondiligently，nightandday，whethermyhandswereidleoremployed。Iwasalteringandamendingtheplansformyhouse，andthinkingovertheproprietyofhavingthebillard-roomintheattic，insteadofonthesamefloorwiththedining-room；also，Iwastryingtodecidebetweengreenandbluefortheupholsteryofthedrawing-room，for，althoughmypreferencewasblueIfeareditwasacolorthatwouldbetooeasilydamagedbydustandsunlight；likewisewhileIwascontenttoputthecoachmaninamodestlivery，Iwasuncertainaboutafootman——Ineededone，andwasevenresolvedtohaveone，butwishedhecouldproperlyappearandperformhisfunctionsoutoflivery，forIsomewhatdreadedsomuchshow；andyet，inasmuchasmylategrandfatherhadhadacoachmanandsuchthings，butnoliveries，Ifeltratherdrawntobeathim；——orbeathisghost，atanyrate；IwasalsosystematizingtheEuropeantrip，andmanagedtogetitalllaidout，astorouteandlengthoftimetobedevotedtoit——
everything，withoneexception——namely，whethertocrossthedesertfromCairotoJerusalempercamel，orgobyseatoBeirut，andthencedownthroughthecountrypercaravan。MeantimeIwaswritingtothefriendsathomeeveryday，instructingthemconcerningallmyplansandintentions，anddirectingthemtolookupahandsomehomesteadformymotherandagreeuponapriceforitagainstmycoming，andalsodirectingthemtosellmyshareoftheTennesseelandandtendertheproceedstothewidows\'andorphans\'fundofthetypographicalunionofwhichIhadlongbeenamemberingoodstanding。[ThisTennesseelandhadbeeninthepossessionofthefamilymanyyears，andpromisedtoconferhighfortuneuponussomeday；itstillpromisesit，butinalessviolentway。]
WhenIhadbeennursingtheCaptainninedayshewassomewhatbetter，butveryfeeble。Duringtheafternoonweliftedhimintoachairandgavehimanalcoholicvaporbath，andthensetaboutputtinghimonthebedagain。Wehadtobeexceedinglycareful，fortheleastjarproducedpain。GardinerhadhisshouldersandIhislegs；inanunfortunatemomentIstumbledandthepatientfellheavilyonthebedinanagonyoftorture。Ineverheardamanswearsoinmylife。Heravedlikeamaniac，andtriedtosnatcharevolverfromthetable——butIgotit。
Heorderedmeoutofthehouse，andsworeaworldofoathsthathewouldkillmewhereverhecaughtmewhenhegotonhisfeetagain。Itwassimplyapassingfury，andmeantnothing。Iknewhewouldforgetitinanhour，andmaybebesorryforit，too；butitangeredmealittle，atthemoment。Somuchso，indeed，thatIdeterminedtogobacktoEsmeralda。Ithoughthewasabletogetalongalone，now，sincehewasonthewarpath。Itooksupper，andassoonasthemoonrose，beganmynine-milejourney，onfoot。