Thetwowomenlookedateachother。UrsularesentedHermione\'slong,grave,downward—lookingface。Therewassomethingofthestupidityandtheunenlightenedself—esteemofahorseinit。`She\'sgotahorse—face,\'
Ursulasaidtoherself,`sherunsbetweenblinkers。\'ItdidseemasifHermione,likethemoon,hadonlyonesidetoherpenny。Therewasnoobverse。
Shestaredoutallthetimeonthenarrow,buttoher,completeworldoftheextantconsciousness。Inthedarkness,shedidnotexist。Likethemoon,onehalfofherwaslosttolife。Herselfwasallinherhead,shedidnotknowwhatitwasspontaneouslytorunormove,likeafishinthewater,oraweaselonthegrass。Shemustalwaysknow。
ButUrsulaonlysufferedfromHermione\'sone—sidedness。SheonlyfeltHermione\'scoolevidence,whichseemedtoputherdownasnothing。Hermione,whobroodedandbroodedtillshewasexhaustedwiththeacheofhereffortatconsciousness,spentandasheninherbody,whogainedsoslowlyandwithsucheffortherfinalandbarrenconclusionsofknowledge,wasapt,inthepresenceofotherwomen,whomshethoughtsimplyfemale,toweartheconclusionsofherbitterassurancelikejewelswhichconferredonheranunquestionabledistinction,establishedherinahigherorderoflife。Shewasapt,mentally,tocondescendtowomensuchasUrsula,whomsheregardedaspurelyemotional。PoorHermione,itwasheronepossession,thisachingcertaintyofhers,itwasheronlyjustification。Shemustbeconfidenthere,forGodknows,shefeltrejectedanddeficientenoughelsewhere。Inthelifeofthought,ofthespirit,shewasoneoftheelect。
Andshewantedtobeuniversal。Buttherewasadevastatingcynicismatthebottomofher。Shedidnotbelieveinherownuniversals——theyweresham。Shedidnotbelieveintheinnerlife——itwasatrick,notareality。