Women in Love

第18章

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第18章

Women in Love D。 H。 Lawrence

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Women in Love
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  Andsheboremanychildren。For,astimewenton,sheneveropposedherhusbandinwordordeed。Shetooknonoticeofhim,externally。Shesubmittedtohim,lethimtakewhathewantedanddoashewantedwithher。Shewaslikeahawkthatsullenlysubmitstoeverything。Therelationbetweenherandherhusbandwaswordlessandunknown,butitwasdeep,awful,arelationofutterinter—destruction。Andhe,whotriumphedintheworld,hebecamemoreandmorehollowinhisvitality,thevitalitywasbledfromwithinhim,asbysomehaemorrhage。Shewashulkedlikeahawkinacage,butherheartwasfierceandundiminishedwithinher,thoughhermindwasdestroyed。

  Sotothelasthewouldgotoherandholdherinhisarmssometimes,beforehisstrengthwasallgone。Theterriblewhite,destructivelightthatburnedinhereyesonlyexcitedandrousedhim。Tillhewasbledtodeath,andthenhedreadedhermorethananything。Buthealwayssaidtohimself,howhappyhehadbeen,howhehadlovedherwithapureandconsumingloveeversincehehadknownher。Andhethoughtofheraspure,chaste;

  thewhiteflamewhichwasknowntohimalone,theflameofhersex,wasawhiteflowerofsnowtohismind。Shewasawonderfulwhitesnow—flower,whichhehaddesiredinfinitely。Andnowhewasdyingwithallhisideasandinterpretationsintact。Theywouldonlycollapsewhenthebreathlefthisbody。Tillthentheywouldbepuretruthsforhim。Onlydeathwouldshowtheperfectcompletenessofthelie。Tilldeath,shewashiswhitesnow—flower。Hehadsubduedher,andhersubjugationwastohimaninfinitechastityinher,avirginitywhichhecouldneverbreak,andwhichdominatedhimasbyaspell。

  Shehadletgotheouterworld,butwithinherselfshewasunbrokenandunimpaired。Sheonlysatinherroomlikeamoping,dishevelledhawk,motionless,mindless。Herchildren,forwhomshehadbeensofierceinheryouth,nowmeantscarcelyanythingtoher。Shehadlostallthat,shewasquitebyherself。OnlyGerald,thegleaming,hadsomeexistenceforher。Butoflateyears,sincehehadbecomeheadofthebusiness,hetoowasforgotten。Whereasthefather,nowhewasdying,turnedforcompassiontoGerald。Therehadalwaysbeenoppositionbetweenthetwoofthem。Geraldhadfearedanddespisedhisfather,andtoagreatextenthadavoidedhimallthroughboyhoodandyoungmanhood。Andthefatherhadfeltveryoftenarealdislikeofhiseldestson,which,neverwantingtogivewayto,hehadrefusedtoacknowledge。HehadignoredGeraldasmuchaspossible,leavinghimalone。

  Since,however,Geraldhadcomehomeandassumedresponsibilityinthefirm,andhadprovedsuchawonderfuldirector,thefather,tiredandwearyofalloutsideconcerns,hadputallhistrustofthesethingsinhisson,implicitly,leavingeverythingtohim,andassumingarathertouchingdependenceontheyoungenemy。ThisimmediatelyrousedapoignantpityandallegianceinGerald\'sheart,alwaysshadowedbycontemptandbyunadmittedenmity。

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