SYLVIA’S LOVERS

第21章

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第21章

SYLVIA’S LOVERS Elizabeth Gaskell

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SYLVIA’S LOVERS
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  I\'llnoanespeakillonthedead,butIwereuneasylike。Butsin\'Philipandtheeseemtoha\'madeitup————\'Sylviashivered,andopenedhermouthtospeak,butdidnotsayaword。\'Andsin\'theLordhasbeencomfortingme,andtalkingtomemanyatimewhenthou\'sthoughtIwereasleep,thingshasseemedtoreddtheirselvesup,andifDanielgoes,I\'mreadytofollow。Icouldniverstandlivingtohearfolkssayhe\'dbeenhung;itseemssounnaturalandshameful。\'\'But,mother,hewon\'t!——heshan\'tbehung!\'saidSylvia,springingtoherfeet。\'Philipsayshewon\'t。\'Bellshookherhead。Theywalkedon,Sylviabothdisheartenedandalmostirritatedathermother\'sdespondency。ButbeforetheywenttobedatnightBellsaidthingswhichseemedasthoughthemorning\'sfeelingshadbeenbuttemporary,andasifshewasreferringeverydecisiontotheperiodofherhusband\'sreturn。\'Whenfathercomeshome,\'seemedasortofburdenatthebeginningorendofeverysentence,andthisrelianceonhiscertaincomingbacktothemwasalmostasgreatatrialtoSylviaastheabsenceofallhopehadbeeninthemorning。Butthatinstincttoldherthathermotherwasbecomingincapableofargument,shewouldhaveaskedherwhyherviewsweresoessentiallychangedinsofewhours。ThisinabilityofreasoninpoorBellmadeSylviafeelverydesolate。Mondaypassedover——how,neitherofthemknew,forneitherspokeofwhatwasfillingthethoughtsofboth。BeforeitwaslightonTuesdaymorning,Bellwasastir。\'It\'sveryearly,mother,\'saidweary,sleepySylvia,dreadingreturningconsciousness。\'Ay,lass!\'saidBell,inabrisk,cheerfultone;\'buthe\'ll,maybe,behometo—night,andI\'seboundtohaveallthingsreadyforhim。\'\'Anyhow,\'saidSylvia,sittingupinbed,\'hecouldn\'tcomehometo—night。\'\'Tut,lass!thoudoesn\'tknowhowquickamancomeshometowifeandchild。

  I\'llbea\'readyatanyrate。\'ShehurriedaboutinawaywhichSylviawonderedtosee;tillatlengthshefanciedthatperhapshermotherdidsotodriveawaythought。Everyplacewascleaned;therewasscarcetimeallowedforbreakfast;tillatlast,longbeforemid—day,alltheworkwasdone,andthetwosatdowntotheirspinning—wheels。Sylvia\'sspiritssanklowerandlowerateachspeechofhermother\'s,fromwhosemindallfearseemedtohavedisappeared,leavingonlyastrangerestlesskindofexcitement。\'It\'stimefort\'potatoes,\'saidBell,afterherwoolhadsnappedmanyatimefromheruneventread。\'Mother,\'saidSylvia,\'it\'sbutjustgoneten!\'\'Put\'emon,\'saidBell,withoutattendingtothefullmeaningofherdaughter\'swords。\'It\'ll,maybe,hastent\'dayonifwegetdinnerdonebetimes。\'\'ButKesterisint\'FarAcrefield,andhe\'llnotbehometillnoon。\'Thisseemedtosettlemattersforawhile;butthenBellpushedherwheelaway,andbegansearchingforherhoodandcloak。Sylviafoundthemforher,andthenaskedsadly——\'Whatdoestawant\'emfor,mother?\'\'I\'llgoupt\'browandthrought\'field,andjusthavealookdownt\'

  lane。\'\'I\'llgowi\'thee,\'saidSylvia,feelingallthetimetheuselessnessofanylookingforintelligencefromYorksoearlyintheday。Verypatientlydidshewaitbyhermother\'ssideduringthelonghalf—hourwhichBellspentingazingdowntheroadforthosewhonevercame。WhentheygothomeSylviaputthepotatoesontoboil;butwhendinnerwasreadyandthethreewereseatedatthedresser;Bellpushedherplateawayfromher,sayingitwassolongafterdinnertimethatshewaspasteating。Kesterwouldhavesaidsomethingaboutitsbeingonlyhalf—pasttwelve,butSylviagavehimalookbeseechingsilence,andhewentonwithhisdinnerwithoutaword,onlybrushingawaythetearsfromhiseyeswiththebackofhishandfromtimetotime。\'A\'llnoanegofarfra\'homet\'resto\'t\'day,\'saidhe,inawhispertoSylvia,ashewentout。\'Willthisdaynivercometoanend?\'criedBell,plaintively。\'Oh,mother!it\'llcometoanendsometime,neverfear。I\'veheerdsay——\"Bethedaywearyorbethedaylong,Atlengthitringethtoeven—song。\"\'\'Toeven—song——toeven—song,\'repeatedBell。\'D\'yethinknowthateven—songmeansdeath,Sylvie?\'\'Icannottell——Icannotbearit。Mother,\'saidSylvia,indespair,\'I\'llmakesomeclap—bread:that\'saheavyjob,andwillwhileawayt\'afternoon。\'\'Ay,do!\'repliedthemother。\'He\'lllikeitfresh——he\'lllikeitfresh。\'Murmuringandtalkingtoherself,shefellintoadoze,fromwhichSylviawascarefulnottodisturbher。Thedayswerenowgettinglong,althoughascoldasever;andatHaytersbankFarmthelightlingered,astherewasnonearhorizontobringonearlydarkness。Sylviahadallreadyforhermother\'steaagainstshewakened;

  butshesleptonandon,thepeacefulsleepofachild,andSylviadidnotcaretowakenher。Justafterthesunhadset,shesawKesteroutsidethewindowmakingsignstohertocomeout。Shestoleoutontip—toebytheback—kitchen,thedoorofwhichwasstandingopen。ShealmostranagainstPhilip,whodidnotperceiveher,ashewasawaitinghercomingtheotherwayroundthecornerofthehouse,andwhoturneduponherafacewhoseimportshereadinaninstant。\'Philip!\'wasallshesaid,andthenshefaintedathisfeet,comingdownwithaheavybangontheroundpavingstonesoftheyard。\'Kester!Kester!\'hecried,forshelookedlikeonedead,andwithallhisstrengththeweariedmancouldnotliftherandcarryherintothehouse。WithKester\'shelpshewasborneintotheback—kitchen,andKesterrushedtothepumpforsomecoldwatertothrowoverher。WhilePhilip,kneelingatherhead,waspartlysupportingherinhisarms,andheedlessofanysightorsound,theshadowofsomeonefelluponhim。

  Helookedupandsawhisaunt;theolddignified,sensibleexpressiononherface,exactlylikeherformerself,composed,strong,andcalm。\'Mylass,\'saidshe,sittingdownbyPhilip,andgentlytakingheroutofhisarmsintoherown。\'Lass,bearup!wemunbearup,andbeagainonourwaytohim,he\'llbeneedingusnow。Bearup,mylass!theLordwillgiveusstrength。Wemungotohim;ay,time\'sprecious;thoumuncrythycryatafter!\'Sylviaopenedherdimeyes,andheardhermother\'svoice;theideascameslowlyintohermind,andslowlysheroseup,standingstill,likeonewhohasbeenstunned,toregainherstrength;andthen,takingholdofhermother\'sarm,shesaid,inasoft,strangevoice——\'Let\'sgo。I\'mready。\'

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