November，December，andhalfofJanuarypassedaway。ChristmasandtheNewYearhadbeencelebratedatGatesheadwiththeusualfestivecheer;presentshadbeeninterchanged，dinnersandeveningpartiesgiven。FromeveryenjoymentIwas，ofcourse，excluded:myshareofthegaietyconsistedinwitnessingthedailyapparellingofElizaandGeorgiana，andseeingthemdescendtothedrawing—room，dressedoutinthinmuslinfrocksandscarletsashes，withhairelaboratelyringleted;andafterwards，inlisteningtothesoundofthepianoortheharpplayedbelow，tothepassingtoandfroofthebutlerandfootman，tothejinglingofglassandchinaasrefreshmentswerehanded，tothebrokenhumofconversationasthedrawing—roomdooropenedandclosed。Whentiredofthisoccupation，Iwouldretirefromthestair—headtothesolitaryandsilentnursery:
there，thoughsomewhatsad，Iwasnotmiserable。Tospeaktruth，Ihadnottheleastwishtogointocompany，forincompanyIwasveryrarelynoticed;andifBessiehadbutbeenkindandcompanionable，I
shouldhavedeemeditatreattospendtheeveningsquietlywithher，insteadofpassingthemundertheformidableeyeofMrs。Reed，inaroomfullofladiesandgentlemen。ButBessie，assoonasshehaddressedheryoungladies，usedtotakeherselfofftothelivelyregionsofthekitchenandhousekeeper\'sroom，generallybearingthecandlealongwithher。Ithensatwithmydollonmykneetillthefiregotlow，glancingroundoccasionallytomakesurethatnothingworsethanmyselfhauntedtheshadowyroom;andwhentheemberssanktoadullred，Iundressedhastily，tuggingatknotsandstringsasIbestmight，andsoughtshelterfromcoldanddarknessinmycrib。
TothiscribIalwaystookmydoll;humanbeingsmustlovesomething，and，inthedearthofworthierobjectsofaffection，Icontrivedtofindapleasureinlovingandcherishingafadedgravenimage，shabbyasaminiaturescarecrow。ItpuzzlesmenowtorememberwithwhatabsurdsincerityIdoatedonthislittletoy，halffancyingitaliveandcapableofsensation。Icouldnotsleepunlessitwasfoldedinmynight—gown;andwhenitlaytheresafeandwarm，Iwascomparativelyhappy，believingittobehappylikewise。
LongdidthehoursseemwhileIwaitedthedepartureofthecompany，andlistenedforthesoundofBessie\'ssteponthestairs: