Jane Eyre

第8章

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第8章

Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte

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Jane Eyre
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  Ithankedherforherconsideratechoice,andasIreallyfeltfatiguedwithmylongjourney,expressedmyreadinesstoretire。Shetookhercandle,andIfollowedherfromtheroom。Firstshewenttoseeifthehall—doorwasfastened;havingtakenthekeyfromthelock,sheledthewayupstairs。Thestepsandbanisterswereofoak;thestaircasewindowwashighandlatticed;bothitandthelonggalleryintowhichthebedroomdoorsopenedlookedasiftheybelongedtoachurchratherthanahouse。Averychillandvault—likeairpervadedthestairsandgallery,suggestingcheerlessideasofspaceandsolitude;andIwasglad,whenfinallyusheredintomychamber,tofinditofsmalldimensions,andfurnishedinordinary,modernstyle。

  WhenMrs。Fairfaxhadbiddenmeakindgood—night,andIhadfastenedmydoor,gazedleisurelyround,andinsomemeasureeffacedtheeerieimpressionmadebythatwidehall,thatdarkandspaciousstaircase,andthatlong,coldgallery,bythelivelieraspectofmylittleroom,Irememberedthat,afteradayofbodilyfatigueandmentalanxiety,Iwasnowatlastinsafehaven。Theimpulseofgratitudeswelledmyheart,andIkneltdownatthebedside,andofferedupthankswherethanksweredue;notforgetting,ereIrose,toimploreaidonmyfurtherpath,andthepowerofmeritingthekindnesswhichseemedsofranklyofferedmebeforeitwasearned。Mycouchhadnothornsinitthatnight;mysolitaryroomnofears。Atoncewearyandcontent,Isleptsoonandsoundly:whenIawokeitwasbroadday。

  Thechamberlookedsuchabrightlittleplacetomeasthesunshoneinbetweenthegaybluechintzwindowcurtains,showingpaperedwallsandacarpetedfloor,sounlikethebareplanksandstainedplasterofLowood,thatmyspiritsroseattheview。Externalshaveagreateffectontheyoung:Ithoughtthatafairereraoflifewasbeginningforme,onethatwastohaveitsflowersandpleasures,aswellasitsthornsandtoils。Myfaculties,rousedbythechangeofscene,thenewfieldofferedtohope,seemedallastir。Icannotpreciselydefinewhattheyexpected,butitwassomethingpleasant:notperhapsthatdayorthatmonth,butatanindefinitefutureperiod。

  Irose;Idressedmyselfwithcare:obligedtobeplain—forIhadnoarticleofattirethatwasnotmadewithextremesimplicity—Iwasstillbynaturesolicitoustobeneat。ItwasnotmyhabittobedisregardfulofappearanceorcarelessoftheimpressionImade:onthecontrary,IeverwishedtolookaswellasIcould,andtopleaseasmuchasmywantofbeautywouldpermit。IsometimesregrettedthatIwasnothandsomer;Isometimeswishedtohaverosycheeks,astraightnose,andsmallcherrymouth;Idesiredtobetall,stately,andfinelydevelopedinfigure;IfeltitamisfortunethatIwassolittle,sopale,andhadfeaturessoirregularandsomarked。AndwhyhadItheseaspirationsandtheseregrets?Itwouldbedifficulttosay:Icouldnotthendistinctlysayittomyself;yetIhadareason,andalogical,naturalreasontoo。However,whenIhadbrushedmyhairverysmooth,andputonmyblackfrock—which,Quakerlikeasitwas,atleasthadthemeritoffittingtoanicety—andadjustedmycleanwhitetucker,IthoughtIshoulddorespectablyenoughtoappearbeforeMrs。Fairfax,andthatmynewpupilwouldnotatleastrecoilfrommewithantipathy。Havingopenedmychamberwindow,andseenthatIleftallthingsstraightandneatonthetoilettable,Iventuredforth。

  Traversingthelongandmattedgallery,Idescendedtheslipperystepsofoak;thenIgainedthehall:Ihaltedthereaminute;Ilookedatsomepicturesonthewalls(one,Iremember,representedagrimmaninacuirass,andonealadywithpowderedhairandapearlnecklace),atabronzelamppendentfromtheceiling,atagreatclockwhosecasewasofoakcuriouslycarved,andebonblackwithtimeandrubbing。Everythingappearedverystatelyandimposingtome;butthenIwassolittleaccustomedtograndeur。Thehall—door,whichwashalfofglass,stoodopen;Isteppedoverthethreshold。Itwasafineautumnmorning;theearlysunshoneserenelyonembrownedgrovesandstillgreenfields;advancingontothelawn,Ilookedupandsurveyedthefrontofthemansion。Itwasthreestoreyshigh,ofproportionsnotvast,thoughconsiderable:agentleman’smanor—house,notanobleman’sseat:battlementsroundthetopgaveitapicturesquelook。Itsgreyfrontstoodoutwellfromthebackgroundofarookery,whosecawingtenantswerenowonthewing:theyflewoverthelawnandgroundstoalightinagreatmeadow,fromwhichthesewereseparatedbyasunkfence,andwhereanarrayofmightyoldthorntrees,strong,knotty,andbroadasoaks,atonceexplainedtheetymologyofthemansion’sdesignation。Fartheroffwerehills:notsoloftyasthoseroundLowood,norsocraggy,norsolikebarriersofseparationfromthelivingworld;butyetquietandlonelyhillsenough,andseemingtoembraceThornfieldwithaseclusionIhadnotexpectedtofindexistentsonearthestirringlocalityofMillcote。Alittlehamlet,whoseroofswereblentwithtrees,straggledupthesideofoneofthesehills;thechurchofthedistrictstoodnearerThornfield:itsoldtower—toplookedoveraknollbetweenthehouseandgates。

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