A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN

第8章

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第8章

A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN James Joyce

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A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN
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  Thesecondpainwhichwillafflictthesoulsofthedamnedinhellisthepainofconscience。Justasindeadbodieswormsareengenderedbyputrefaction,sointhesoulsofthelosttherearisesaperpetualremorsefromtheputrefactionofsin,thestingofconscience,theworm,asPopeInnocenttheThirdcallsit,ofthetriplesting。Thefirststinginflictedbythiscruelwormwillbethememoryofpastpleasures。Owhatadreadfulmemorywillthatbe!Inthelakeofall-devouringflametheproudkingwillrememberthepompsofhiscourt,thewisebutwickedmanhislibrariesandinstrumentsofresearch,theloverofartisticpleasureshismarblesandpicturesandotherarttreasures,hewhodelightedinthepleasuresofthetablehisgorgeousfeasts,hisdishespreparedwithsuchdelicacy,hischoicewines;themiserwillrememberhishoardofgold,therobberhisill-gottenwealth,theangryandrevengefulandmercilessmurdererstheirdeedsofbloodandviolenceinwhichtheyrevelled,theimpureandadulteroustheunspeakableandfilthypleasuresinwhichtheydelighted。

  Theywillrememberallthisandloathethemselvesandtheirsins。Forhowmiserablewillallthosepleasuresseemtothesoulcondemnedtosufferinhellfireforagesandages。Howtheywillrageandfumetothinkthattheyhavelosttheblissofheavenforthedrossofearth,forafewpiecesofmetal,forvainhonours,forbodilycomforts,foratinglingofthenerves。Theywillrepentindeed:andthisisthesecondstingofthewormofconscience,alateandfruitlesssorrowforsinscommitted。Divinejusticeinsiststhattheunderstandingofthosemiserablewretchesbefixedcontinuallyonthesinsofwhichtheywereguilty,andmoreover,assaintAugustinepointsout,GodwillimparttothemHisownknowledgeofsin,sothatsinwillappeartotheminallitshideousmaliceasitappearstotheeyesofGodHimself。Theywillbeholdtheirsinsinalltheirfoulnessandrepentbutitwillbetoolateandthentheywillbewailthegoodoccasionswhichtheyneglected。Thisisthelastanddeepestandmostcruelstingofthewormofconscience。Theconsciencewillsay:Youhadtimeandopportunitytorepentandwouldnot。Youwerebroughtupreligiouslybyyourparents。

  Youhadthesacramentsandgraceandindulgencesofthechurchtoaidyou。

  YouhadtheministerofGodtopreachtoyou,tocallyoubackwhenyouhadstrayed,toforgiveyouyoursins,nomatterhowmany,howabominable,ifonlyyouhadconfessedandrepented。No。Youwouldnot。Youfloutedtheministersofholyreligion,youturnedyourbackontheconfessional,youwalloweddeeperanddeeperinthemireofsin。Godappealedtoyou,threatenedyou,entreatedyoutoreturntoHim。O,whatshame,whatmisery!

  TheRuleroftheuniverseentreatedyou,acreatureofclay,toloveHimWhomadeyouandtokeepHislaw。No。Youwouldnot。Andnow,thoughyouweretofloodallhellwithyourtearsifyoucouldstillweep,allthatseaofrepentancewouldnotgainforyouwhatasingletearoftruerepentanceshedduringyourmortallifewouldhavegainedforyou。Youimplorenowamomentofearthlylifewhereintorepent:Invain。Thattimeisgone:

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