Thereisnopossibilityofmysuspicionsbeingwrong;notuntiltheyhavereachedabsolutecertaintyhaveIdaredeventoadmitthetruthtomyself.Hisconductto-daywouldhaveprovedthemtruehadI
entertainednopreviousapprehensions.Somephotographsofmyselfcameformebypost,andtheywerehandedroundatthebreakfasttableandcriticised.Iputthemtemporarilyonasidetable,anddidnotrememberthemuntilanhourafterwardswhenIwasinmyownroom.OngoingtofetchthemIdiscoveredhimstandingatthetablewithhisbacktowardsthedoorbendingoverthephotographs,oneofwhichheraisedtohislips.
ThewitnessingthisactsofrightenedmethatIcreptawaytoescapeobservation.Itwastheclimaxtoaseriesofslightandsignificantactionsalltendingtothesameconclusion.Thequestionformenowis,whatamItodo?Togoawayiswhatfirstoccurstome,butwhatreasoncanIgiveCarolineandmyfatherforsuchastep;besides,itmightprecipitatesomesortofcatastrophebydrivingCharlestodesperation.Forthepresent,therefore,IhavedecidedthatIcanonlywait,thoughhiscontiguityisstrangelydisturbingtomenow,andIhardlyretainstrengthofmindtoencounterhim.Howwillthedistressingcomplicationend?
May19——Andsoithascome!Mymereavoidanceofhimhasprecipitatedtheworstissue——adeclaration.Ihadoccasiontogointothekitchengardentogathersomeofthedoubleragged-robinswhichgrewinacornerthere.AlmostassoonasIhadenteredI
heardfootstepswithout.Thedooropenedandshut,andIturnedtobeholdhimjustinsideit.Asthegardenisclosedbyfourwallsandthegardenerwasabsent,thespotensuredabsoluteprivacy.Hecamealongthepathbytheasparagus-bed,andovertookme.